FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > First Meet Advice!!
First Meet Advice!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all
would really appreciate some advice on first meets.
We are hoping to meet with a couple this weekend and after reading the site and some of the posts in the forums, I politly asked if myself and the other female could talk before the meet.
"We dont do pre meet phone calls" was the reply.
Am I right to be weary or just accept they may want some privacy.
What would you do?
Any help appreciated.
P&T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never give out my number to anyone on here, not because im not genuine, but just because i dont like talking on the phone and i dont want people off here having my number, calling and texting all the time
I have had some decide not to meet me because of this but thats their choice same as its mine not to give them my number
All you can do is decide for yourself how you feel, if talking on the phone is important to you and they refuse to simple say thanks but no thanks then but remember it does not necessarily mean they have something to hide they may simply just want to keep their privacy |
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In this day and age when a number can be witheld there is no reason why a phone call cannot be arranged.
Even if we have cammed with a couple will still insist on chatting on the phone before a meet. This hopefully helps breaks the nerves just a little bit and gives you a slight indication if you will get on.
Be very cautious is our advice xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well I guess some couples have there reasons for not allowing a pre meet chat on the phone.
Personally, you need to have your own set of guidelines .. and if speaking on the phone is essential to you and the other couple refuse, then don't meet.
If you're not sure . don't go through with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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one on one meetings in hotels for a first timer can be just full on
why not try a club and go with the flow - that way if you don't like you can just move on
i fear that anyone who doesn't want to have a phone chat is "suspect " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why on earth would they not want to chat on the phone before an arranged meet, unless ofcourse they are both mute's!  "
well for me i meet a lot of guys off here and i simply do not want that many guys having my number
When i am looking for a meet i come on here when im off here and in my normal life i dont want guys texting and calling me so id sooner not let them have my number |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey, I do get this. I hate phone calls with people I don't know, I get very nervous on the phone and it's the ONLY ever time I get really nervous before after or during a meet. I start to stammer, and I'm not a stammerer! If I can get away without a pre meet phone call I will. But if the other couple wants one then I put on my best stammer and crack on! xx
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I don't chat on the phone before a meet.
But I always arrange my meets in a local cafe or quiet pub. Somewhere where the option of going somewhere private is easy but also where I can be comfortable if stood up (rare but can happen) or where I can say a polite no thanks if need be.
It's not a date, more of an assessment. Both parties have neutral territory to decide if we want to take things further, and as a single female I have the security of other people if he gets aggressive, pissed off or even cries - all of which have happened to me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agreed. We don't always give out our number. We have arranged plenty of meets without doing so, but on occasions, some have refused to meet because of that. We accept that and move on. However, on some occasions, a refusal to give a lady's number might mean it's not a real couple. You will never cut out the risk. Sadly, frauds and time wasters are part and parcel of this great website. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive arranged all my meets without chatting on the phone and ive never had any problems finding meets, some dont like to meet without a phone call but if that happens i just find someone else to meet
does not always mean you have something to hide |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive arranged all my meets without chatting on the phone and ive never had any problems finding meets, some dont like to meet without a phone call but if that happens i just find someone else to meet
does not always mean you have something to hide"
+1
Most of ours are arranged without a phone call. |
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I neither cam or phone before a meet, everything is arranged on here. It leaves s
"ive arranged all my meets without chatting on the phone and ive never had any problems finding meets, some dont like to meet without a phone call but if that happens i just find someone else to meet
does not always mean you have something to hide"
+1 
I never cam or phone new meets. I arrange everything on here - it leaves a trail in case, god forbid, there was a.problem!
NN and I may take slightly different precautions as single females, but couples can be stalked too - do you really want calls and texts at all hours, someone outside your home?
There have been many stories on here reminding us all it can happen. I.have received violent threats for saying no!
So choose your precautions just as others choose theirs. And if someone is not prepared to play by your rules then simply move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
NN and I may take slightly different precautions as single females, but couples can be stalked too - do you really want calls and texts at all hours, someone outside your home?
There have been many stories on here reminding us all it can happen. I.have received violent threats for saying no!
So choose your precautions just as others choose theirs. And if someone is not prepared to play by your rules then simply move on."
i stopped giving out my number when a guy i used to meet posted my number on escort sites after i told him i didnt want to meet anymore
I had to change my number to stop the calls so why would i start handing my new number out to risk giving it to someone else like that
If people want to meet you they will meet you without a phone chat, if talking on the phone is that important they can find someone else to talk it and meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another option is to buy a cheap, bog standard pay as you go phone (about £10) and use it exclusively for meets. "
i couldnt do that as i have teenage kids and they would want to know why i had two phones, they are at an age where you cant fob them off anymore with random bull shit and they would find it suspicious if had two mobile and i dont want them putting 2 and 2 together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have got to the point now that i will ring them and hide my number if i dont feel a vibe i wont meet them
but i tend to meet most now at chams where i feel safe and ifi want to play we can..
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"Another option is to buy a cheap, bog standard pay as you go phone (about £10) and use it exclusively for meets. "
And every time I switch it on wade through increasingly abusive and offensive messages?
I'm very serious here, some people don't take rejection well! And as soon as you take things off the site there is no comeback.
I have had guys who are not prepared to meet without a call and I walk away. Then when I Di make friends and choose to give out my number the message alert brings a little smile to my face instead of dread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
i stopped giving out my number when a guy i used to meet posted my number on escort sites after i told him i didnt want to meet anymore
"
That's awful, what a total nob jockey! Some people just can't handle rejection... xx |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i absolutely do get it...
i think the best advice is to go with your gut feeling... if it makes you uncomfortable that you haven't spoken to them beforehand... don't meet.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some form of verification prior to going off round the country is advisable. Either cam or phone, it shouldn't be a problem given that you can block either.  |
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Lots of good advice, and different opinions.
We use a number of criteria to decide if someone is genuine.
We look at their verifications, how many, actual meetings rather than just cam or phone, any verifs from people we know, any verifs from attending local socials?
If they are newbies with no verifs, then we look at how long they have been on the site, although there are no hard and fast rules, we don't bother to arrange anything with those that have been on a while with no verifs.
Also, if they have no verfis but are recent newbies we would ask to cam or phone, a no to both and its "hasta la vista baby!"... cam doesnt have to show faces, just that there is a female half to the couple, if they are worried about giving out their number then we offer ours, they can withold theirs when they ring.
Only you can decide whats right for you, trust your gut instinct.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't give out any of my personal details to anyone unless I have met them first.
That includes email addresses, MSN details and phone numbers. I won't have a smart phone or a blackberry so none of this 'pin' malarky either.
The one exception is my address, but as I live in an awkward place, no one could arrive at my front door unless they were either let in or they want to climb over a wall and get thru 2 metal gates and a upvc door first.
Yes, it does lose me meets, but it is what I am comfy with.
Once I have met and got a feel for the person, I 'let them in' and have no issue providing them with info.
There are people on here that have my work emails & numbers, let alone my private ones, but that takes some time to get to.
As Fabio said, go with gut instinct and what you are comfy with and you won't go far wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why on earth would they not want to chat on the phone before an arranged meet, unless ofcourse they are both mute's!
well for me i meet a lot of guys off here and i simply do not want that many guys having my number
When i am looking for a meet i come on here
when im off here and in my normal life i dont want guys texting and calling me so id sooner not let them have my number"
You can ring them withholding your number tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i have got to the point now that i will ring them and hide my number if i dont feel a vibe i wont meet them
but i tend to meet most now at chams where i feel safe and ifi want to play we can..
"
Me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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there is no excuse not to have a little chat on the phone first, if they don't want to give you their number you give them yours and they block their number,,, its not hard...
or, you speak over skype or msn chat.
If someone said they didn't want to chat over the phone first i would assume that one of them doesn't exist. But thats just me.
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"I never give out my number to anyone on here, not because im not genuine, but just because i dont like talking on the phone and i dont want people off here having my number, calling and texting all the time
I have had some decide not to meet me because of this but thats their choice same as its mine not to give them my number
All you can do is decide for yourself how you feel, if talking on the phone is important to you and they refuse to simple say thanks but no thanks then but remember it does not necessarily mean they have something to hide they may simply just want to keep their privacy"
+1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always say hi on the phone, before meeting someone because a couple of times i didnt like the sound of someone on the phone, and they didnt like the sound of me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we always give out mr's number, and make it known that if they ring randomly, they will only get me on the other end, so they have to ring at the correct/pre arranged time/days.
refuse point blank to give out Em's number anymore as a couple (or at least the male half of the couple) kept texting to ask if they/he could pop round hers to see her without me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a few couples have my number and they text every now and then, but never really had a bad one.
generally just asking how we are. had a fair few over xmas/new year too, so it can be nice to giv eout your number also
but, on subject, WE would be wary, yes, but then, we would have organised something i na pub first rather than hotel, as thats a little presumptous for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In this day and age when a number can be witheld there is no reason why a phone call cannot be arranged.
Even if we have cammed with a couple will still insist on chatting on the phone before a meet. This hopefully helps breaks the nerves just a little bit and gives you a slight indication if you will get on.
I was going to say the same thing, u can withhold the number if you want your privacy, so yeah be cautious but dont make it a deal breaker
Be very cautious is our advice xx "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
As others have already said you have to use your instinct,we have met people without spekaing on the phone before now and then with others we have spoken,it has always depended on instinct
There are a very few select guys that have my mobile number as I usually give Robs out for contact or phone chats,and no-one as yet has abused that
If you're going to feel happier and more confident after speaking on the phone then stick with that,for everyone that does'nt want to speak on the phone there are plenty more that will to make you feel at ease
Hope it all goes well whatever happens  |
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"I never give out my number to anyone on here, not because im not genuine, but just because i dont like talking on the phone and i dont want people off here having my number, calling and texting all the time
I have had some decide not to meet me because of this but thats their choice same as its mine not to give them my number
All you can do is decide for yourself how you feel, if talking on the phone is important to you and they refuse to simple say thanks but no thanks then but remember it does not necessarily mean they have something to hide they may simply just want to keep their privacy"
^^^
What she said |
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