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Spending the night with someone else

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Okay seeing as I got told that if I had an issue with it that I should start my own post.. Here I am..

I found the idea of a wife going out and having fun with a man in a hotel room and spending the night without her husband odd.. I pretty much if I felt the need to do that, my relationship would be seriously missing something. ( please note I said if it were me)

Now I get the going out and having fun without the person physically present..As I guess what we do some of the time is like that although its 99% on cam live to my Master, its the then spending the whole night with someone not your partner..

waking up in someone elses arms.. I just dont get that...

I can just about understand if your a couple and you stay all together.. ie as a 3sum in a bed.. or 2 couples all together.. but not a attached person spending the whole night with another while their partner waits at home..

So those for and against and on the fence.. what do you think..

cali

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I don't get that either to be honest...

each to their own tho but I find that a little strange.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don't think we could do it, but never say never.

Didn't think we'd do seperate room play, and have even talked about seperate houses, as in I'd go to their's and he'd come to ours.

Don't know really, so put me down as a fence sitter

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

you arent alone.

we have already said the moment one of us decides me need the sexual physicality of someone else opposed to each other is the day we call it quits. no ifs, buts or maybes.

if she/i want someone else, then we havent the same feelings for each other anymore so move on and move out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I dont think its odd for other people, but i wouldnt want to stay the night with someone, an hour or two is more than enough for me.

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By *atisfy janeWoman  over a year ago

Torquay

Each to their own I say....

I try not to worry myself about what others do in their sex life.

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I don't think it's about waking up in someone else's arms.

It could be a long drive so sensible to stay or may be they are a sleeper after sex....it could just be about having another shag in the morning.

It may also be because their partner has their own playmate stopping over at their house.

There was a wifey who would give me a ring to come and play with her hubby whilst she had her meet.... so no one was twiddling thumbs.

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By *ath-N-DelCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow area

No...

Wouldn't be impressed with that..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've been out all night with a sexual partner and my wife was going to until the meet was cancelled. If you are confident enough of your relationship to let someone have sex with your partner in front of you then you should be confident enough to let them have sex without you there.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been out all night with a sexual partner and my wife was going to until the meet was cancelled. If you are confident enough of your relationship to let someone have sex with your partner in front of you then you should be confident enough to let them have sex without you there. "

+1

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I can totally get two singles.. I can totally get having seperate room fun, then going home together..

I can even understand what jack said.. seperate homes.. but then going back.

If ( not that it would ever happen) but if either I... or a playmate had to spend the night. I dont care where it was.. I would either take the sofa or a spare bed.. but I would not be waking with someone else..

To me that is beyond a fuck... as falling asleep in someone elses arms and waking.. or that touching that goes on in the night. is something I could not ever imagine sharing with someone else.

Even my regular after a few hours at ours would get sent home... even though master wasnt there.. and had watched on cam..

I dont worry what others do.. or what others think of what I do.. the question is meerly to get both sides of the story.. so people can maybe think.. actually I like that.. or actually I dont know why I do that..

cali

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I've been out all night with a sexual partner and my wife was going to until the meet was cancelled. If you are confident enough of your relationship to let someone have sex with your partner in front of you then you should be confident enough to let them have sex without you there. "

I have sex without my Master there.. its the cuddles and sleeping with someone else I have the issue with.. the sex bit.. well 14 guys in a week 8 of which recorded for master to watch when he had a moment..

So forget the sex bit.. talking about the spending the night with someone not your partner.

Cali

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Some people are just more tactile than others…. and need it for the boat to float.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Some people are just more tactile than others…. and need it for the boat to float."

I get that.. I find some guys dont want to meet on quicky meets because I basically wont kiss etc.. but maybe I hold it dear to my heart.. but no matter how good the fun.. how much I may have just snogged the face off someone.. After the sex.. its time for me to be with my partner...

I know some people want the touching before and after.. but even if it was a long way.. I cant see why you would go without your partner.. why not both book into the hotel.. then meet up after..

I would miss the reclaim sex to much for a start.. lol

cali

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I would miss the reclaim sex to much for a start.. lol

cali "

I might add that the whole night away from each other can intensify the whole reclaim sex pmsl

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By *nnie2009Couple  over a year ago

Blackpool

sooner sleep all nite with hubby

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By *innamon!Woman  over a year ago

no matter

I have slept alone for 18 years ..I would LOVE to wake up in someones arms.. would love to sleep with someone cuddled up. Not all marriages are perfect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

I would miss the reclaim sex to much for a start.. lol

cali

I might add that the whole night away from each other can intensify the whole reclaim sex pmsl "

I spend most of my week away from the man I love.. I know how it can enhance it.. I just mean actually sharing the bed with another for the whole night..

I have said to a regular that he could stop over but he would get the sofa.. not in my bed..

Same as if I went to a couples house I would always make sure I could get back.. even at 2am

I know its each to their own but for me.. if I ever wanted to spend a whole night with another.. I would think that my relationship was breaking.. because I can not imagine anything worse than waking up and the man next to me isnt my Master.

Cali

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By *nnie2009Couple  over a year ago

Blackpool

+1

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If they fart less than Kate, I'd be up for it

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"If they fart less than Kate, I'd be up for it "

hahaha.. just made me laugh out loud

bless ya Jack

cali

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have been known to have sex most the night .. untill morning a very little sleep .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I see a guy regularly and i always wanted more than the couple of hours i got with him but when i got the chance to spend a night with him, it totally freaked me out, i spent all night nearly falling off the bed, wide awake and gave up at 5am and decided to go home. It just felt totally alien not to be asleep next to my hubby and cuddled up, and even though i have good sex with him I just couldn't relax enough to fall asleep next to him. Was a very odd experience, one i won't be repeating with anyone

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple  over a year ago

horwich

You got me thinking there Cali. I feel the same for us though we swing as a couple so it would never arise in a couple situ.

I am looking for just some girl on girl only meets and that throws a different angle on it. It wouldn't bother me sharing a bed overnight with a woman though if that happened. And I don't think Rhett would mind as long as I told him all about it when I got back

Scarlett

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My favourite FWB and I normally catch up for a pleasant 90mins - 2 hours and then one of us goes home. One night I ended up staying over due to circumstances. It was horrible.

He's still my fave but I'll never spend the night with him again.

Others I have and it's been lovely, and others it's been horrible.

If I really enjoy the company of the person then I don't mind it.


"I see a guy regularly and i always wanted more than the couple of hours i got with him but when i got the chance to spend a night with him, it totally freaked me out, i spent all night nearly falling off the bed, wide awake and gave up at 5am and decided to go home. It just felt totally alien not to be asleep next to my hubby and cuddled up, and even though i have good sex with him I just couldn't relax enough to fall asleep next to him. Was a very odd experience, one i won't be repeating with anyone "

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By *uckscouple2007Couple  over a year ago

Bucks


"So those for and against and on the fence..

"

against, but each to their own as they say lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

im spending the night friday night with someone. why? because i can

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I know of a cuckold couple where the wife brings her playmates home, relegates her husband to the spare room for the night and sleeps in the marital bed.

I'm surprised, given the ops lifestyle that she finds what other couples do "odd".

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Master posting

Im spending tonight on my own, why because I can ( and im working away from my Mrs )

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I know of a cuckold couple where the wife brings her playmates home, relegates her husband to the spare room for the night and sleeps in the marital bed.

I'm surprised, given the ops lifestyle that she finds what other couples do "odd". "

but thats a lifestyle thing and part of his kink... Actually to be fair the guy on the other thread actually went on to expand that he was a cuck husband which then made sense.

and I can still find things odd.. not wrong.. wrong for my relationship yes... but I ask things to expand my knowledge mostly

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

we are a loving couple and enjoy a very good sexlife together - we enjoy swappping with couples and singles, but we also get excitement when wife spends a whole night away with a stud - she gets to be a free person for a night - and not be a mother or a wife - we share her story of what happened and whet she did when she gets home in the morning and it makes for some very exciting sex and lovemaking beteen us. I am a voyeur and possibly a little cuckold so yes it excites me - but she doesn't do it with anyone - she has to be comfortable meeting them - and has only ever done it 3 times as one offs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ive stayed out

Shes stayed out

We stayed together after a three with the other person

Not really an issue here xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We all do what we do for very different reasons. What turns me on might not turn you on. The scenario the op describes does nothing for me whatsoever, but then again, the way she plays does nothing for me also.

As long as you enjoy what you do, ENJOY it & sod whatever anybody else thinks.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ive stayed out

Shes stayed out

We stayed together after a three with the other person

Not really an issue here xx "

You make it sound like the hokey y

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"

I'm surprised, given the ops lifestyle that she finds what other couples do "odd". "

I have to admit, you are not alone in that thought.

I was in two minds as to whether to post the following, but here goes and I hope it is taken in the spirit it is intended.

I can understand one half of a couple spending the night with a playmate. I can understand it on practical and physical levels, just as much as I can understand it making some couples feel uneasy to say the least.

I’ll be really honest Cali, I can understand it far more than I can understand some of the things you do in the name of obeying your master. I have tried, believe me I have, but I can only relate to them (or rather the motivation behind some of the activities) if I think of them in terms of variations on self harming. So I guess it just goes beyond my understanding.

Baring in mind the (what some would call) extremes you find perfectly normal in terms of sexual indulgence, it makes it all the more surprising you can’t manage to get your head around this one.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Master posting

I understand perfectly where you are cming from Cali, the thought of spending the night with some women is enough to make me 100% faithful

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do we have the right to question when we each as individuals have freedom of choice?

What is good for you may not be so good for others....

Each to their own

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

Baring in mind the (what some would call) extremes you find perfectly normal in terms of sexual indulgence, it makes it all the more surprising you can’t manage to get your head around this one.

"

ahhh but you see on this.. a lot of perfectly "normal" people are in agreement with me

Dear god.. does that mean I have some normal thoughts..

Think I need to sit down for a bit..

To be honest as I said.. I can understand spending the night if its not in the same room.. just not spending the night with someone your not in love with..

but then.. neither would I spend hours having sex with someone I wasnt in love with.. so I keep my fucks quicker and save the all night romps for the man that I love..

Cali

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple  over a year ago

North Cornwall

We only add one and when they are completely spent oh kicks them out or we leave. This would therefore never arise or be something we were comfortable with.

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"

ahhh but you see on this.. a lot of perfectly "normal" people are in agreement with me

"

And you also realise many (if not most) of those "normal" people will not understand the point of having sex with other people if it is just in, out, done, next.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ive stayed out

Shes stayed out

We stayed together after a three with the other person

Not really an issue here xx

You make it sound like the hokey y "

And thats what its all about xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

And you also realise many (if not most) of those "normal" people will not understand the point of having sex with other people if it is just in, out, done, next. "

and also a hell of a lot do.. but we are not discussing my kinks.. we are discussing spending the night with someone not your partner..

and many are in agreement..

So please stay on topic and dont make it personal.

cali

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Its strange this post as the nights i have stayed out never really got sleep . Maybe just a bit of a rest untill we had sex again in diffrent ways and morning come shower or bath then home ... maybe to be in bed with john all day him getting off on me telling him about my evening and night. Yes i know we are not the same here .. but it works for us and even at clubs we may have family room have a single back .. and never much time for sleep .So sleeping is the last thing on my mind . Maybe if the men i have meet could not cope i would go home or sleep .

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I honestly don't judge others behaviour. If either party stays out with the others consent, what does it matter?

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

As I said I was in two minds about posting and I hoped it was taken in the spirit it was intended... that is to use actual examples you would hopefully better relate to.... and nothing which you hadn't chosen to share on the forum.

The thing which is confusing me now is this comment about people areeing with you... I don't get why that's so important.

It's either somwthing which works for a couple or it doesn't, much like swinging clubs, 3somes with single guys, soft swing and many more variations.

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By *oxy_minxWoman  over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I will be honest, I wasn't going to post on this one as maybe a bit personal to me, but I am not a hello, shag and leave kinda of girl, I like to have a connection with someone, regardless if they are single or have permission (married/attached) But I enjoy the social side as well. And if that means sharing my bed due to a three hour drive home then so be it. And yes I can understand why you think the closeness can be mis-construed, but the opposite of someone insisting sleeping on my sofa after having sex with me? Now that would seem cold to me, plus yes, as a single, it is nice to have a kiss and a cuddle in the morning but no, it does not mean disrespecting the wife/partner, if anything I have more respect for them!

But then that is my _iew and my _iew only

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By *atisfy janeWoman  over a year ago

Torquay


"I know of a cuckold couple where the wife brings her playmates home, relegates her husband to the spare room for the night and sleeps in the marital bed.

I'm surprised, given the ops lifestyle that she finds what other couples do "odd". "

To be honest Sassy I've given up being surprised.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

my husband knows how much of the bed he is allowed, if i slept the night with someone else i would have to forcefully explain it to them

we do not do all night swaps, because we prefer not to, just like we prefer not to do anal with other people or swing with singles.

however we dont find it hard to understand, its just something that we choose not to do.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I know of a cuckold couple where the wife brings her playmates home, relegates her husband to the spare room for the night and sleeps in the marital bed.

I'm surprised, given the ops lifestyle that she finds what other couples do "odd".

To be honest Sassy I've given up being surprised....."

lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We are all on here with different dreams, different ideas and different personal lives. I have experience of spending overnights with one regular playmate - the experience - fabulous. Just like one of the people who posted before, it's my _iew and my enjoyment.

Sometimes you have to look at yourself outside your own box to enable you to look inside other boxes and understand and respect other _iewpoints.

I like high heels and my sister likes flat shoes....... I can see why she likes her flat pumps and she can see why I like my high heels...........each to their own as long as people are happy and enjoy what they do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"As I said I was in two minds about posting and I hoped it was taken in the spirit it was intended... that is to use actual examples you would hopefully better relate to.... and nothing which you hadn't chosen to share on the forum.

The thing which is confusing me now is this comment about people areeing with you... I don't get why that's so important.

It's either somwthing which works for a couple or it doesn't, much like swinging clubs, 3somes with single guys, soft swing and many more variations."

the comment about people agreeing was in direct response to yours saying people wouldnt understand my kinks.. It was meant in humour.. that omg.. people were in agreement with me ..

It is each to their own.. I enjoy things that a) I cant mention on here but b) neither would I want to as its personal to me and my Master.

I can share any part of my life, except that one thing.. and I think that is why.. It does not seem I am alone but I have appreciated hearing others _iews..

And its always nice to see why people do or dont do things..

The difference with people saying they cant understand why I dont get something.. is I can get that people dont like/get/understand my choices.. but doesnt mean I can think the way they can...

I am always happy to look at how someone else thinks... and have on some things even come to realise that actually maybe I was wrong to think like that.. or act like that..

Sometimes someone can say something and you think actually.. they have a good point..and other times I think.. thats fine for you but not for me..

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am sure people sleep over not to lay in a mans arms but shagged out .. after lots of sex .

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By *atisfy janeWoman  over a year ago

Torquay


"I am sure people sleep over not to lay in a mans arms but shagged out .. after lots of sex . "

Like your thinking Jo!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

some may think that just needing to have sex with others in your marrage means your lacking something in your relationship

Me personally i think its whatever works for you

If that means a quicky with someone else or a whole night with someone else, so long as thew couple has set their boundaries and are happy i cant see a problem

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By *nsatiable firebirdWoman  over a year ago

LEEDS

When in a relationship and the couple are close enough to communicate their boundaries when they want to play outside their own circle i feel it important to discuss where those boundaries stop. One partner may feel he wants his gf, wife to stop all night with a guy and come home to tell him or her all about it. Some fantasies and couples play that way. I think aslong as when you both chat together on fantasies and sexual needs that your both happy with what ever comes your way. Its a two way thing. Ones unhappy then dont dont do it but then we have the argument that what if one partner wants to do something the partner disagrees on then you are restricting that persons sexual needs and desires so fantasy stays in the head. God, I babble lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If I was a couple, I wouldn't want my other half staying anywhere other than for work, think staying with someone would be wrong and I wouldn't like it and don't agree with it so I am with you on this one

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"some may think that just needing to have sex with others in your marrage means your lacking something in your relationship

Me personally i think its whatever works for you

If that means a quicky with someone else or a whole night with someone else, so long as thew couple has set their boundaries and are happy i cant see a problem "

When like us married over 25 years we know each other well ..... and like good friends too .... I am lucky as i am free .. married but free and thats how i love living no one own me not even john .. yes we love each other and its a deep love and happy here with our family .. If ever i stay out ... john and i have good sex days after getting off on the things i have done ... it turns him on , Together and apart we play. May not be for everyone but thats how its worked years for us. xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I never spend a night with anyone other than Mrs Bus or my fb.

All meets go home at certain o'clock and if I travel, I always leave before sleepy time.

For me, it alters the dynamics from a sexual encounter to a more emotional encounter.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Two important words have been used boundaries and freedom. As long as boundaries have been agreed on and everyone is happy with those and there is no issuse. What follows next is freedom, no one is asking you to from an emotional bond by falling asleep in each others arms. It allows you to be free with a sexual partner in ways that you might not be with your own wife/husband.

I started swinging without my wife and to those who knew about it she always said "He comes home the next morning so I don't have a problem besides means I get a quiet night to watch tv."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Okay seeing as I got told that if I had an issue with it that I should start my own post.. Here I am..

I found the idea of a wife going out and having fun with a man in a hotel room and spending the night without her husband odd.. I pretty much if I felt the need to do that, my relationship would be seriously missing something. ( please note I said if it were me)

"

Just change the line 'spending the night without her husband' to 'having sex with another man' and this could have been written by the most unliberated vanillas (I do dislike that phrase) in our society today.

I would suggest that given the 'hobsons choice' a majority of the general public would opt for their partner sharing a bed with someone rather than having intercourse.

Please don't get me wrong, I am in no way suggesting couples should do anything that is outside of their boundaries and I do understand why some partners would not be comfortable with their other half waking up in somebody elses arms, but I feel uncomfortable that so called liberated people would label those who are comfortable and secure enough in their relationship to do this as odd!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been out all night with a sexual partner and my wife was going to until the meet was cancelled. If you are confident enough of your relationship to let someone have sex with your partner in front of you then you should be confident enough to let them have sex without you there. "

Don't agree with that at all.

Why does it have to be about confidence in the relationship? Our biggest enjoyment with swinging is visual, we love seeing each other playing with other people together. So for us playing separate is a big no as we wouldn't get enjoyment out of it.

Confidence is not an issue at all for us. We simply feel some things are meant just for us, which includes spending a full night in bed with someone else.

kat x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been out all night with a sexual partner and my wife was going to until the meet was cancelled. If you are confident enough of your relationship to let someone have sex with your partner in front of you then you should be confident enough to let them have sex without you there.

+1 "

0nly a strong relationship could handle that

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By * n SCouple  over a year ago

dundee

Ive often lay in bed at night when Js late home from a girlie night out and wondered if she was shagging and found the idea extremely arousing...........for a while. But then the longer it goes without her coming home then I start worrying about her safety(Shes not the best at answering phone whilst out). Shes always said isnt interested in sex without me there anyway but I think the fantasy the OP speaks of would cause me too much worry. I also kinda think its going beyond the fun swinging side of things and kind of becoming more like an affair.

each to their own tho but not for us.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been out all night with a sexual partner and my wife was going to until the meet was cancelled. If you are confident enough of your relationship to let someone have sex with your partner in front of you then you should be confident enough to let them have sex without you there.

Don't agree with that at all.

Why does it have to be about confidence in the relationship? Our biggest enjoyment with swinging is visual, we love seeing each other playing with other people together. So for us playing separate is a big no as we wouldn't get enjoyment out of it.

Confidence is not an issue at all for us. We simply feel some things are meant just for us, which includes spending a full night in bed with someone else.

kat x"

I agree, I don't believe it's necessarily about confidence, it's primarily about choice and importantly respecting the choices of others without them having to be 'odd'.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

right i have been thinking about this, hence why i didn't post a reply straight away.

I meet alone as a single as my partner isn't sexed up as me and he said long as its not thrown in his face he's happy with the occasional meet.

i have met playmates for overnighters, the 1st one was sexy hot and great fun but waking up with someone who inst your partner isn't the same, just feels strange.

the thought of going to a hotel opening the door to someone and dragging them in the room is great but the expatiations arent the b all and end all

hence why i decided to start meeting at chameleons i can have my cake and eat it and go home at the end of the night

i hope this makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I know of a cuckold couple where the wife brings her playmates home, relegates her husband to the spare room for the night and sleeps in the marital bed.

I'm surprised, given the ops lifestyle that she finds what other couples do "odd". "

+1... horses for courses!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I see a guy regularly and i always wanted more than the couple of hours i got with him but when i got the chance to spend a night with him, it totally freaked me out, i spent all night nearly falling off the bed, wide awake and gave up at 5am and decided to go home. It just felt totally alien not to be asleep next to my hubby and cuddled up, and even though i have good sex with him I just couldn't relax enough to fall asleep next to him. Was a very odd experience, one i won't be repeating with anyone "

Im totally with u there, i havent got a hubby but a really close FB who i totally adore and hes the only person i want to wake up next too, i cant relax with anyone else to be able to go to sleep

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been out all night with a sexual partner and my wife was going to until the meet was cancelled. If you are confident enough of your relationship to let someone have sex with your partner in front of you then you should be confident enough to let them have sex without you there.

+1

0nly a strong relationship could handle that"

That implies that if its 'not your thing' then your relationship is not very strong, which is clap trap IMO

It simply boils down to preference and personal choice, what floats one boat wont float another

Kat x

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"I don't get that either to be honest...

each to their own tho but I find that a little strange."

I often post, then reflect... and there are a few posters whose contributions have my complete respect, Blackspice being one. His comments above did just that.

I should have waited until posters who do stay over give their rationale for doing so, become more informed and then posted.

I am a single guy who has no idea why committed people would do so, labelling it as 'strange' may have come across judgemental.

apologies.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

well everyones different arnt they, what works for some dont work for everyone else.

but if ur not wanting feelings to get involved its usually best to avoid, ive played with 2 couples where the female was allowed to stay the night on their own after they got to know me and hubby wasnt bothered about playing, but to be fair both couples split up not long after they decided to play alone also.

so does take something special to make it work i think.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've been out all night with a sexual partner and my wife was going to until the meet was cancelled. If you are confident enough of your relationship to let someone have sex with your partner in front of you then you should be confident enough to let them have sex without you there.

+1

0nly a strong relationship could handle that

That implies that if its 'not your thing' then your relationship is not very strong, which is clap trap IMO

It simply boils down to preference and personal choice, what floats one boat wont float another

Kat x"

+1

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By *bbandflowCouple  over a year ago

South Devon


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it"

Cali what have you started.lol..plenty of couples appear to be comfortable to stay away.. yet here is a guy on a swingers forum..a swingers forum !! telling them, like some unreconstructed agony aunt, exactly what is wrong with their relationships..hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it"

Why??

Sorry but i find that way of thinking naive and it seems (IMO) that you have not grasped what swinging is about.

People have preferences, is it so hard to understand that some people get turned on by there partner playing alone, spending the night then going home and telling the experience to there partner.

We couldn't do it, because for us the visual is important, but i can fully understand why it turns others on and by no means people that do are in a rocky relationship.

kat x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Okay seeing as I got told that if I had an issue with it that I should start my own post.. Here I am..

I found the idea of a wife going out and having fun with a man in a hotel room and spending the night without her husband odd.. I pretty much if I felt the need to do that, my relationship would be seriously missing something. ( please note I said if it were me)

Now I get the going out and having fun without the person physically present..As I guess what we do some of the time is like that although its 99% on cam live to my Master, its the then spending the whole night with someone not your partner..

waking up in someone elses arms.. I just dont get that...

I can just about understand if your a couple and you stay all together.. ie as a 3sum in a bed.. or 2 couples all together.. but not a attached person spending the whole night with another while their partner waits at home..

So those for and against and on the fence.. what do you think..

cali

"

One persons strange is another’s norm and its how society works from Muslims abhorring Christianity, to zealots condoning homosexuality at one extreme to people loving or disliking marmite the other.

The sleeping the night out is for some a form dom/sub behaviour and to others its a cuckold must. Fe is complicated and you won’t ever get to the stage where you understand it all.

I have to point out after asking this as a question you seem to push your point of _iew and almost glory what you find sexually thrilling and this doesn’t really prompt a favourable response but many do this so you are not on your own.

I think what you need to address is that some are extremely confident in their relationship so as to spend the whole night with someone and it not become an issue. People have different boundaries from those who are monogamous to those who enjoy gangbangs. Everyone’s boundary is different as you should already know so is it so difficult to understand people have different stimulus’s for excitement. Some its the bareback risk, others its multiple partners and to others its sleeping the night with someone else.

Its not important to understand someone’s psyche its important to understand people have differences and you can’t fully understand them all.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it"

what a pile of absolute tosh...

do you also deduct that there is something wrong with cpl's who either play in seperate rooms?

or same room in a 4..

or in a 3?

we have not stayed over as the op described, if we did it would be our choice after discussing it..

it may not be for everyone but for those whom it works thats fine..

how you deduct what you have said is a tad puzzling..

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By *atisfy janeWoman  over a year ago

Torquay


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it"

What a ridiculous conclusion to come to, I'd give up that career of an amateur marriage councillor if I were you mate!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it"

I was bored and needed a good laugh today. You come and tell my beloved that our relationship is rocky or one of us isnt getting the attention we want. For US our relationship is perfect in everyway, it might not be or suit the next person but it took me 41 years to find the closest thing to perfect.

I see your a single guy

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By *adja_lazloCouple  over a year ago

Solihull


"

I'm surprised, given the ops lifestyle that she finds what other couples do "odd".

I have to admit, you are not alone in that thought.

I was in two minds as to whether to post the following, but here goes and I hope it is taken in the spirit it is intended.

I can understand one half of a couple spending the night with a playmate. I can understand it on practical and physical levels, just as much as I can understand it making some couples feel uneasy to say the least.

I’ll be really honest Cali, I can understand it far more than I can understand some of the things you do in the name of obeying your master. I have tried, believe me I have, but I can only relate to them (or rather the motivation behind some of the activities) if I think of them in terms of variations on self harming. So I guess it just goes beyond my understanding.

Baring in mind the (what some would call) extremes you find perfectly normal in terms of sexual indulgence, it makes it all the more surprising you can’t manage to get your head around this one.

"

and us x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it"

What a bizarre statement to make.

Following your train of thought, do you also assume the couples you are seeking/meet have something missing and you're there to help the husband out as he can't fulfill his wife?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"well everyones different arnt they, what works for some dont work for everyone else.

but if ur not wanting feelings to get involved its usually best to avoid, ive played with 2 couples where the female was allowed to stay the night on their own after they got to know me and hubby wasnt bothered about playing, but to be fair both couples split up not long after they decided to play alone also.

so does take something special to make it work i think."

I feel you have lots to learn about how different people are and not all the same .. why are you here in hope of helping some of the couples find somthing special , lol

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it"

Definitely worded wrong in my opinion and overly generalised....

but...

in some cases, I agree that some partners are in swinging, on the net, behave a certain way in clubs because their partner doesn't give them the attention they may crave.

No offence

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By *ENDAROOSCouple  over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Not something that I would do, if I'm honest.

But don't find others odd, who do.

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it

Definitely worded wrong in my opinion and overly generalised....

but...

in some cases, I agree that some partners are in swinging, on the net, behave a certain way in clubs because their partner doesn't give them the attention they may crave.

No offence"

but I don't think exclusive to the original point

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By *stwoforfun2Couple  over a year ago

South Suffolk Area


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of itCali what have you started.lol..plenty of couples appear to be comfortable to stay away.. yet here is a guy on a swingers forum..a swingers forum !! telling them, like some unreconstructed agony aunt, exactly what is wrong with their relationships..hilarious"

+1 well said

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it

Definitely worded wrong in my opinion and overly generalised....

but...

in some cases, I agree that some partners are in swinging, on the net, behave a certain way in clubs because their partner doesn't give them the attention they may crave.

No offence"

people let there hair down at clubs have fun .. alot go with out there partners too .. we meet loads who are there alone . Swinging you get to meet all sorts and no ones the same .. some have partners who are ill some have partners that are just not into having sex you get to meet all sorts .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree, I don't believe it's necessarily about confidence, it's primarily about choice and importantly respecting the choices of others without them having to be 'odd'. "

what on here?

heaven forbit the day will come when the 'elite' swingers wont look down their noses at the rest of us

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree, I don't believe it's necessarily about confidence, it's primarily about choice and importantly respecting the choices of others without them having to be 'odd'.

what on here?

heaven forbit the day will come when the 'elite' swingers wont look down their noses at the rest of us "

i don't give a shit what people think about me as after all they don't know me

as for the "elite swingers" some are so up their own arses and think they are so god damm perfect yet they arent

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree, I don't believe it's necessarily about confidence, it's primarily about choice and importantly respecting the choices of others without them having to be 'odd'.

what on here?

heaven forbit the day will come when the 'elite' swingers wont look down their noses at the rest of us "

we are to wild to fit in that group , lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it"

but you could say that about couples on here in general

As a single person i could sit here and say i dont see why married couples need to swing at all

I could say they are lacking something in their marrage to make them want to fuck other

I could say that they should stop coming on here and focus on sorting their marrage out

I dont beleive ay of the above to be honest

I think lots of happy married couples can swing together, i also think lots of happy married couple can meet alone

Im not here to judge peoples relationships and i will put a pound to a penny if a married lady offered to meet you for the night you wouldnt turn her down

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"definetally something wrong,

a couple who probs acts like that is definetally missing something, i'd imagine they either are arguing quite a lot or she not getting the attention she craves at home, either way i think they either got a rocky relationship or are close to the end of it

but you could say that about couples on here in general

As a single person i could sit here and say i dont see why married couples need to swing at all

I could say they are lacking something in their marrage to make them want to fuck other

I could say that they should stop coming on here and focus on sorting their marrage out

I dont beleive ay of the above to be honest

I think lots of happy married couples can swing together, i also think lots of happy married couple can meet alone

Im not here to judge peoples relationships and i will put a pound to a penny if a married lady offered to meet you for the night you wouldnt turn her down "

fuck NN

speak as you find

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"fuck NN

speak as you find "

well no point beating about the bush

well depending on whos bush it is

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"fuck NN

speak as you find

well no point beating about the bush

well depending on whos bush it is "

dont change as i love you xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"fuck NN

speak as you find

well no point beating about the bush

well depending on whos bush it is "

lol true and we love you for it.

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