FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do single guys go to clubs and are successful?
Do single guys go to clubs and are successful?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Save yourself the pain OP,
It's expensive and you will see more desperate men in the club than anything else. It can be cringing at times.
Only worth going if you've arranged a meet via Fab at a particular club, otherwise I would not recommend it  |
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By *hill44Man
over a year ago
hinckley |
I've been a few times now very nervous at 1st ,once you've been a few times ,you become comfortably & the fun will come to you , just be yourself be polite & use you manners ,if someone says no don't be grumpy about it, respect is the key  |
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"I've always wanted to go to a club but have been too nervous on my own "
I’d say a single guy would find it easier in a club than on Fab. Everyone is nervous going to a club for the first time and if you walk in and it’s not for you, just have a drink and leave.
Choose your event wisely. Some events are especially for newbies. Some have hosts that will introduce you to other people. If you pick a busy event then there is going to be lots going on to watch even if you don’t get to play.
The successful guys seem to be the ones that stand at the bar and chat or get in the hot tub and chat to people. Don’t sit in the corner because you’ll just stay there.
I wouldn’t bother arranging to meet someone there. Just brave it and go. Don’t expect play. It’s a great place to socialise too and that can get you some verifications on your Fab profile. If you’re feeling a bit lost in a club, pitch up at the bar and talk to the bar staff. That’s their job. To make you feel welcome.
I’ve not checked your location so don’t know where your nearest clubs are but check their websites for types of events. We have a newbie event that’s also got a live lounge open mic night too. So newbies have a social element and can watch or join in with the open mic. You’re definitely not sat in the corner alone then. |
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"I've always wanted to go to a club but have been too nervous on my own "
Depends a bit on what you're looking for.
Find a club you like the look of and read the reviews.
If you still like the look of it and the people who go, send the club a message, explain it's your first visit to any club and ask all of your questions.
A good club will go out of its way to make you feel relaxed and welcome. They'll probably give you a tour, explain the rules and introduce you to a few people.
Don't go with an expectation of playing, if you do it's a bonus.
Be smart, be well mannered and don't be a dick. And don't under any circumstances get d*unk.
It might take a few visits to get to know people, so don't rush or get disappointed. Sit at the bar and natter.
I've found a club I like, gotten to know a few people to chat to and have fun with.
It's worth the effort, it really is.
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It’s not unusual to see single guys walking aimlessly around so don’t be surprised if you do the same. Don’t take it too personally if you strike up a conversation with a couple or woman and she’s not interested, especially at the beginning of the night.
Good advice to stick around the bar, and go to newbies nights.
Clubs need new members or they go under, you may feel second best at times but you’re an important part of the scene |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've always wanted to go to a club but have been too nervous on my own "
Find a local social, meet some people, get some names then attend a club when they go. At least someone to break the ice with. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've always wanted to go to a club but have been too nervous on my own
Find a local social, meet some people, get some names then attend a club when they go. At least someone to break the ice with."
Where are the local socials? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"define success...
Chatting, getting to know people and having fun "
It's not easy for a single guy. It will help if you are a friendly sort of fellow. Just remember to respect boundaries and be prepared for the fact that paying to go into club doesn't always equal play. If you show your personality and a friendly attitude, You could end up having a good time and making connections. Good luck, if you do decide to go OP
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Guys I know say it's much easier in clubs. But there's no guarantee of play and the entry price can be hefty.
The ones who expect to play and lack social grace seem to be the ones ending up shuffling around and wanking. |
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I assume by successful you mean have sex/play? Simply the answer is yes. I did when single and as a couple we see/meet plenty of single men being "successful". But likewise some not. But then it depends what you mean by success? As long as you go with the right attitude and respect the rest will sort it's self out into a fun night whatever happens. Although to be fair certain nights/clubs may increase your chances of finding what you seek. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not easy and it can be very hit and miss but I had fun last week in La Chambre with a couple that invited me in - it was amazing!
But there have been a few times where nothing happened and I just watched.
IMO its great to go and interract with people ask if they are on fab make friends and try and get ''in'' with people that regulary swing then hopefully get invited to parties etc |
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I've been going to clubs on my own for years. The secret is don't be pushy, if you are you will just get one knock back after another.
Chat to people and be confident but definitely not pushy. Most couples and single ladies detest pushy men.
I would say I have had over 50% success by just chatting and let them invite you to join in. |
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"I've been going to clubs on my own for years. The secret is don't be pushy, if you are you will just get one knock back after another.
Chat to people and be confident but definitely not pushy. Most couples and single ladies detest pushy men.
I would say I have had over 50% success by just chatting and let them invite you to join in. "
very true and good instruction |
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We love single guys at clubs. D*unk guys or anyone d*unk is a big no for us.
As a couple with a greedy girl we go to play. Some go to socailise, but its an hour drive at least for us to get to a club. Somtimes, hotels, kid sitters, not to mention the " bath and makeup time". So we goto play. |
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Yes, go to a club with no expectations or agenda and you’ll never have a bad night. But you must mix and chat, rather than sit in a corner. If you then get some fun it’s a bonus. Now as the meet and greeter at Club SX Blackpool we have occasional times where there’s not enough decent single men, as a lot put them selves on the guest and don’t show up.
So checkout the forums, reviews and plan a weekend up north
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I've always wanted to go to a club but have been too nervous on my own
I’d say a single guy would find it easier in a club than on Fab. Everyone is nervous going to a club for the first time and if you walk in and it’s not for you, just have a drink and leave.
Choose your event wisely. Some events are especially for newbies. Some have hosts that will introduce you to other people. If you pick a busy event then there is going to be lots going on to watch even if you don’t get to play.
The successful guys seem to be the ones that stand at the bar and chat or get in the hot tub and chat to people. Don’t sit in the corner because you’ll just stay there.
I wouldn’t bother arranging to meet someone there. Just brave it and go. Don’t expect play. It’s a great place to socialise too and that can get you some verifications on your Fab profile. If you’re feeling a bit lost in a club, pitch up at the bar and talk to the bar staff. That’s their job. To make you feel welcome.
I’ve not checked your location so don’t know where your nearest clubs are but check their websites for types of events. We have a newbie event that’s also got a live lounge open mic night too. So newbies have a social element and can watch or join in with the open mic. You’re definitely not sat in the corner alone then. "
This advice is great.
I've been to clubs as a single and as part of a couple, it can be harder as a single guy to get involved socially but if you're friendly and sociable you will meet people on your wavelength.
As others have said; never expect play, you pay for entry and nothing more. Enjoy the atmosphere and go from there. |
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As a single woman who predominantly looks to meet single guys in clubs, I'd say plenty are successful - assuming you mean that they get to play!
I've seen plenty of sociable, respectful guys who return to clubs time after time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've always wanted to go to a club but have been too nervous on my own "
As a couple that goes to clubs many single men do and I'd say at least. 40% to 50% are successful, best thing is to just treat it like if you where out at a normal club, chat to them make conversation and don't be pushy and you should so fine and if couple or single female not interested move on. But there's always the chance that night you just not lucky.
Sadly you can get pushy and persistent pepole who just go want to go play that's not for everyone. obviously if some all ready been approached by some one like this they may have there guard up expecting the same but everyone diffrent so long as your treating them indaviduals and with couples acknowledge both the male and female you should be fine.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My personal advice would be to not bother, unless you can find one that charges you the same as women.
Go to a group social, organise your own, work on meeting a single woman to share the experience with.
Failing that.. if you do go, it may be worth going with a wingman. At least you'll have a laugh and have someone to talk to. People think the Forum can be Cliquey. Clubs seem to be the same in my experience.
Others say different, but that's my advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been going to clubs over many years.
Never had an issue with talking to people and have always played each night in some way.
Clubs have stamped down on nuisance guys following people so if guys still do it then those particular clubs are all about the money.
They are not scary or hairy
Success is the wrong term unless all you want is your dick wet. More to clubs than that. .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All depends on your personality, OP. Can you just be polite, friendly and chatty without expecting anything apart from, maybe, a bit of conversation? Or maybe watching but without playing?
I only go to clubs as couple, with my playmates, as I have seen what happens to a woman on her own in a club. I'm not brave enough to face that. I do like to play with respectful guys in a club though.
The worst thing you can do is either just stare at someone you are interested in, or keep coming to them when they're relaxing and asking 'are you playing?', without any other conversation.
To sum up- do try a club, but be prepared to spend quite a bit of money on your entry fee without the promise of sex. Be respectful, polite, let your personality shine and you should have a good time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been going to clubs over many years.
Never had an issue with talking to people and have always played each night in some way.
Clubs have stamped down on nuisance guys following people so if guys still do it then those particular clubs are all about the money.
They are not scary or hairy
Success is the wrong term unless all you want is your dick wet. More to clubs than thrat. .
"
That's the attitude at the club where you are more likely to be invited to play . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good news - Lots of them do, you won't stand out.
Bad news - Lots of them do, you won't stand out.
I'd have to second that it's a waste of time for single guys in clubs these days. Hell I'm pretty sure it's a waste of time for couples unless they are just utilising it as a venue for a pre-arranged meet. It is after all cheaper than a hotel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" 'are you playing?',"
This is annoying if it's not that one other one we have heared is "why you hear if your not playing".
These ones have just blown there chances, yes if we are there we probably. Looking to play but we got all night and only if someone takes our fancy  . Other wise we spend time with friends we met there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a single woman who predominantly looks to meet single guys in clubs, I'd say plenty are successful - assuming you mean that they get to play!
I've seen plenty of sociable, respectful guys who return to clubs time after time. "
What clubs do you go to |
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