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Polite decline
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What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline? |
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By *bandAbCouple
over a year ago
lanarkshire. |
"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline? "
We would just say sorry we font feel your for us and leave it at that. |
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"Of they delete my message I take that as a no thanks. "
We use that approach if the initial contact is just a few words or is crass, however this is a nice message from people who seem really lovely but just don't "float our boat" and to delete or ignore just seems boorish. |
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"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite. "
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us. |
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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago
Stafford |
"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite.
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us. "
It would be worse to be rude or to lead them on knowing it's not going anywhere though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline? "
We thank them for their message and then say along the lines of "sorry, but we're not a match". And wish them luck in finding what they're looking for.
Mrs |
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"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite.
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us.
It would be worse to be rude or to lead them on knowing it's not going anywhere though. "
Oh of course it would. In a way it's much easier to say no after a bit of a chat as that can be based on interests that aren't shared etc whereas this was a more primal level of We just didn't find them attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of they delete my message I take that as a no thanks.
We use that approach if the initial contact is just a few words or is crass, however this is a nice message from people who seem really lovely but just don't "float our boat" and to delete or ignore just seems boorish.
"
I put a bit of effort into my messages and would much prefer what you have said "cheers but you not for us" but also a realist and know that ladies and couples will receive a lot of messages, so I take it as it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline? "
As a guy I would be overjoyed at receiving a reply “sorry your not our type” than simply message delete.
However I think that’s pretty much a simple reply that answers any message if you do not fancy the message sender. I believe there has to be a little attraction to want to meet, even a social meet. |
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I always appreciate a polite, “thanks for your lovely message, but feel we aren’t compatible, but I wish you all the best in your search” type message.
Anyone sensible understands that we can’t expect everyone to find us attractive, so there will be knock backs, but you just move on
Shows you care and are lovely people to feel a little awkward when letting someone down gently, wish there were more like you guys on fab.
HG |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline? "
Thank you for your lovely email. However we are fine at this time. Take care x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have a type, so I can't say that.
Sometimes I've liked the look of them but they are you far, or don't accommodate, or smoke, or there's something on the profile putting me off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep it short. Overexplaining invites questions and extends the discomfort for both sides. Personally I’m not a great fan of a rejection followed by ‘Happy fabbing!’. I’ve been guilty of using it but it comes across as smug and glib. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite.
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us. "
This reply would be perfect for us. Please don't feel uneasy for this reply. It's direct but respectful.
If they get arsey after that, the very fact they are being arsey after you gave such a polite 'no thanks' should automatically remove the uneasy feeling because they're pushy idiots. |
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"Keep it short. Overexplaining invites questions and extends the discomfort for both sides. Personally I’m not a great fan of a rejection followed by ‘Happy fabbing!’. I’ve been guilty of using it but it comes across as smug and glib."
We NEVER use "happy fabbing" or similar as we feel it does come over a bit smug, we usually just say a simple "sorry but no thanks" maybe thats abrupt but going on too much explaining often can offend even more lol   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline? "
We are always polite and message as follows...
Thank you for taking the time to message us, however, we are not a match..
Have fun and play safe..
It works for us.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone who has been rejected way too often on here, no rejection is good however you dress it up.
I find the delete immediately response to be arrogant and the read but not reply or delete to be odd. The ‘no thanks’ stuff comes across as smug and dismissive.
So no good answer really.
When I see who people are prepared to meet up with, it makes it harder to take.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless it's something glaringly obviously the polar opposite of what we're clear we're looking for, we say 'Thanks for the message. You're not for us. We hope you find what you're looking for. Take care.' Only had a few flouncy comebacks... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who has been rejected way too often on here, no rejection is good however you dress it up.
I find the delete immediately response to be arrogant and the read but not reply or delete to be odd. The ‘no thanks’ stuff comes across as smug and dismissive.
So no good answer really.
When I see who people are prepared to meet up with, it makes it harder to take.
"
So what is it that you want? It seems that nobody can win with you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who has been rejected way too often on here, no rejection is good however you dress it up.
I find the delete immediately response to be arrogant and the read but not reply or delete to be odd. The ‘no thanks’ stuff comes across as smug and dismissive.
So no good answer really.
When I see who people are prepared to meet up with, it makes it harder to take.
So what is it that you want? It seems that nobody can win with you..."
Just expressing my view - it’s not nice to be rejected |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who has been rejected way too often on here, no rejection is good however you dress it up.
I find the delete immediately response to be arrogant and the read but not reply or delete to be odd. The ‘no thanks’ stuff comes across as smug and dismissive.
So no good answer really.
When I see who people are prepared to meet up with, it makes it harder to take.
So what is it that you want? It seems that nobody can win with you...
Just expressing my view - it’s not nice to be rejected "
It isn't but you surely can't expect everyone to find you attractive? It's a reality of a site like this, that for many people, you won't be what they're looking for...as will many of the people you look at, not be for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who has been rejected way too often on here, no rejection is good however you dress it up.
I find the delete immediately response to be arrogant and the read but not reply or delete to be odd. The ‘no thanks’ stuff comes across as smug and dismissive.
So no good answer really.
When I see who people are prepared to meet up with, it makes it harder to take.
So what is it that you want? It seems that nobody can win with you...
Just expressing my view - it’s not nice to be rejected
It isn't but you surely can't expect everyone to find you attractive? It's a reality of a site like this, that for many people, you won't be what they're looking for...as will many of the people you look at, not be for you"
Lol - I don’t expect anyone to find me attractive.
I accept it, but I don’t have to like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who has been rejected way too often on here, no rejection is good however you dress it up.
I find the delete immediately response to be arrogant and the read but not reply or delete to be odd. The ‘no thanks’ stuff comes across as smug and dismissive.
So no good answer really.
When I see who people are prepared to meet up with, it makes it harder to take.
So what is it that you want? It seems that nobody can win with you...
Just expressing my view - it’s not nice to be rejected
It isn't but you surely can't expect everyone to find you attractive? It's a reality of a site like this, that for many people, you won't be what they're looking for...as will many of the people you look at, not be for you
Lol - I don’t expect anyone to find me attractive.
I accept it, but I don’t have to like it "
so, my question again would be...what do you actually want, because it seems like people can't win with you no matter what they do...
what would you do to people who approached you if they weren't for you? |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite.
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us.
It would be worse to be rude or to lead them on knowing it's not going anywhere though.
Oh of course it would. In a way it's much easier to say no after a bit of a chat as that can be based on interests that aren't shared etc whereas this was a more primal level of We just didn't find them attractive. "
They were probably happy with what you said in your message as not everyone is for everyone. They might now feel a bit worse if they have seen this post saying they are not attractive.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who has been rejected way too often on here, no rejection is good however you dress it up.
I find the delete immediately response to be arrogant and the read but not reply or delete to be odd. The ‘no thanks’ stuff comes across as smug and dismissive.
So no good answer really.
When I see who people are prepared to meet up with, it makes it harder to take.
So what is it that you want? It seems that nobody can win with you...
Just expressing my view - it’s not nice to be rejected
It isn't but you surely can't expect everyone to find you attractive? It's a reality of a site like this, that for many people, you won't be what they're looking for...as will many of the people you look at, not be for you
Lol - I don’t expect anyone to find me attractive.
I accept it, but I don’t have to like it
so, my question again would be...what do you actually want, because it seems like people can't win with you no matter what they do...
what would you do to people who approached you if they weren't for you?"
I’ve answered your question once and you’ve just asked it again.
Are you Theresa May?
I’ve never been approached |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite.
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us.
It would be worse to be rude or to lead them on knowing it's not going anywhere though.
Oh of course it would. In a way it's much easier to say no after a bit of a chat as that can be based on interests that aren't shared etc whereas this was a more primal level of We just didn't find them attractive.
They were probably happy with what you said in your message as not everyone is for everyone. They might now feel a bit worse if they have seen this post saying they are not attractive. "
Good point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As someone who has been rejected way too often on here, no rejection is good however you dress it up.
I find the delete immediately response to be arrogant and the read but not reply or delete to be odd. The ‘no thanks’ stuff comes across as smug and dismissive.
So no good answer really.
When I see who people are prepared to meet up with, it makes it harder to take.
So what is it that you want? It seems that nobody can win with you...
Just expressing my view - it’s not nice to be rejected
It isn't but you surely can't expect everyone to find you attractive? It's a reality of a site like this, that for many people, you won't be what they're looking for...as will many of the people you look at, not be for you
Lol - I don’t expect anyone to find me attractive.
I accept it, but I don’t have to like it
so, my question again would be...what do you actually want, because it seems like people can't win with you no matter what they do...
what would you do to people who approached you if they weren't for you?"
Btw, if you are Theresa May and her husband...
Thanks, but you’re not for me but happy fabbing |
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Thank you for dropping me a message, but I don’t think you’re quite right for me x
I usually get a thanks for responding message back.
I don’t bother responding to shit messages at all. The ‘wanna suck my cock tonight ‘ kinda ones. |
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"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite.
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us.
It would be worse to be rude or to lead them on knowing it's not going anywhere though.
Oh of course it would. In a way it's much easier to say no after a bit of a chat as that can be based on interests that aren't shared etc whereas this was a more primal level of We just didn't find them attractive.
They were probably happy with what you said in your message as not everyone is for everyone. They might now feel a bit worse if they have seen this post saying they are not attractive. "
Checked before posting and they don't seem to use the forum. Additionally we didn't say they weren't attractive, just that we weren't attracted to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can’t float everyone’s boat so a polite reply saying sorry you are not the cpl for us but good luck in your search should sit comfortable it’s an honest reply
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone has gone to the trouble of sending us a really nice message we will always reply thanking them and explaining that unfortunately we don’t feel they’re right for us at the moment.
We always like to receive a reply, even if it’s a knock back. |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"The reply I usually send is;
‘Thanks for the message but I’m not into men, good luck though’"
Got tired of those ones as some will come back trying to "convince you" so I just stopped men messaging me. |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite.
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us.
It would be worse to be rude or to lead them on knowing it's not going anywhere though.
Oh of course it would. In a way it's much easier to say no after a bit of a chat as that can be based on interests that aren't shared etc whereas this was a more primal level of We just didn't find them attractive.
They were probably happy with what you said in your message as not everyone is for everyone. They might now feel a bit worse if they have seen this post saying they are not attractive.
Checked before posting and they don't seem to use the forum. Additionally we didn't say they weren't attractive, just that we weren't attracted to them."
How can you know they don't use the forums. ? As far as I am aware there is no indication on a members profile . |
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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
Always use:
“Thanks for your message. We/I wouldn’t be interested in meeting, but hope you continue to enjoy fab!  ”
Standard reply that’s polite without skirting around it 
At the end of the day if someone is butthurt that you’re not interested then they should probably re-evaluate why they’re here |
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Why don't you just be honest.
Thank you for the lovely message. We appreciate the effort you went to. But you aren't really what we are looking for.
I would personally say sorry I'm not attracted to you. Might sounds harsh but if its true.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline? "
If someone or persons have messaged me with a original message and took time to add photos. i will respond with a polite no thanks you arent for me.
if its a hey you fancy meeting etc (straight delete) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline?
We would just say sorry we font feel your for us and leave it at that. "
That is an adequate response in my opinion. I just want older gay tops generally, get alot of bicurious wanting to meet, Fumbling around with a bi curious just isnt my think. |
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"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite.
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us.
It would be worse to be rude or to lead them on knowing it's not going anywhere though.
Oh of course it would. In a way it's much easier to say no after a bit of a chat as that can be based on interests that aren't shared etc whereas this was a more primal level of We just didn't find them attractive.
They were probably happy with what you said in your message as not everyone is for everyone. They might now feel a bit worse if they have seen this post saying they are not attractive.
Checked before posting and they don't seem to use the forum. Additionally we didn't say they weren't attractive, just that we weren't attracted to them.
How can you know they don't use the forums. ? As far as I am aware there is no indication on a members profile . "
Use your own green arrow and substitute their user name for yours. |
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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline? "
What ever you say no matter hope polite some just take offence when frustrated. I often put thanks but no thanks but you will still get the why nots. In reality its best just to delete and move on if you are not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Too many people head straight for the block button "
What’s wrong with that? I need to start doing that because I keep getting messages off guys I’ve said no to many times over the last few months. They can’t remember themselves that they have done so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline? "
I appreciate a “not for us thank you but good luck” |
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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
I find that the politest way is to be as honest as you can do and usually I say
“ fuck off you cunt, can you not read my fucking profile and save me the fucking time of replying to you Arsewipe !”
Only being honest |
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"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline?
What ever you say no matter hope polite some just take offence when frustrated. I often put thanks but no thanks but you will still get the why nots. In reality its best just to delete and move on if you are not interested. "
Indeed. I actually find no reply, preferable to an explicit rejection. |
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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago
portsmouth |
"What is the polite way to decline people that have messaged you without coming across as conceited or arrogant? We've had a lovely message from a couple that are interested in us but we just don't fancy them. Is there a polite way to decline?
Thank you for your lovely email. However we are fine at this time. Take care x
"
Think this could be misconceived as meaning not at this moment in time but maybe on another occasion we might change our minds? |
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By *unscot44Man
over a year ago
Stepps (Glasgow) |
Speaking as a single guy who has had his fair share of rejections on here , i take it on the chin.
However i do appreciate if the person says something along the lines of thanks for your message but your not my type. It gets their point across without being arrogant or rude. |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"A simple thank you but no thank you and hope you find what you're looking for happy fabbing kinda message. You're being polite.
That was along the lines of what we sent in the end but it still sat uneasy with us.
It would be worse to be rude or to lead them on knowing it's not going anywhere though.
Oh of course it would. In a way it's much easier to say no after a bit of a chat as that can be based on interests that aren't shared etc whereas this was a more primal level of We just didn't find them attractive.
They were probably happy with what you said in your message as not everyone is for everyone. They might now feel a bit worse if they have seen this post saying they are not attractive.
Checked before posting and they don't seem to use the forum. Additionally we didn't say they weren't attractive, just that we weren't attracted to them.
How can you know they don't use the forums. ? As far as I am aware there is no indication on a members profile .
Use your own green arrow and substitute their user name for yours."
It must be me because I still can't see how to do this (using green arrow and substituting user name) . I can't ask you directly because of filters unfortunately. |
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I always like to say thanks but no thanks & then wish them good luck. I think it’s polite way of doing things. I’d be much happier if they would do the same for us instead of just leaving it unread or just delete it. |
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