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How are you today?
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Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise
It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated. |
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"Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise
It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated. "
. How true I've always being polite in my messages but how do you start sometimes like you say when you are talking to a cock or gaping pussy mmmmm tough one  |
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Yep, if someone’s was to send that I’d respond, why not? No different that being asked that in the real world. Think it’s sad that people bypass mail with the most basic of introduction lines. Why wright a paragraph if you don’t if get a “I’m good, thanks for asking, how’s your day?” Back? I’m sure many users you demand other forms of introduction would actually freak if a guy walked up to them in a bar with a paragraph of intro before even knowing if the other party was interested or not. |
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If I did get a message like that I'd simply take a look at their profile and if something caught my eye then I'd see if a conversation could started.
Obviously it's different for everyone else especially with the amount of daily messages so it's each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I struggle with these personally because I ain't too great at the pleasantries so to speak. I'm polite and all that jazz however I'm likely to respond honestly. I'm not sure they wanna hear that I had a tough shift at work, or that my back aches. If I'm not feeling great I can't fake it.
P |
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"I struggle with these personally because I ain't too great at the pleasantries so to speak. I'm polite and all that jazz however I'm likely to respond honestly. I'm not sure they wanna hear that I had a tough shift at work, or that my back aches. If I'm not feeling great I can't fake it.
P"
well put  |
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"Yep, if someone’s was to send that I’d respond, why not? No different that being asked that in the real world. Think it’s sad that people bypass mail with the most basic of introduction lines. Why wright a paragraph if you don’t if get a “I’m good, thanks for asking, how’s your day?” Back? I’m sure many users you demand other forms of introduction would actually freak if a guy walked up to them in a bar with a paragraph of intro before even knowing if the other party was interested or not. "
But it's not a bar. And if the number of people who message me approached me in public, I'd hire a bodyguard. |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
I always (mostly) reply like for like, but get frustrated when it’s just hi, to which I’ll say hi back then how are you, and I reply to however I’m feeling, then mostly the ‘chat’ dries up... or follows the same way for a couple of days, the best one yet is when they complained I didn’t talk...  |
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"I always (mostly) reply like for like, but get frustrated when it’s just hi, to which I’ll say hi back then how are you, and I reply to however I’m feeling, then mostly the ‘chat’ dries up... or follows the same way for a couple of days, the best one yet is when they complained I didn’t talk... "
Occasionally if I like the look of the person I'll reply back, but put in the same amount of effort as they do. 90% of the time they get annoyed that I'm not facilitating meaningful conversation |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"I always (mostly) reply like for like, but get frustrated when it’s just hi, to which I’ll say hi back then how are you, and I reply to however I’m feeling, then mostly the ‘chat’ dries up... or follows the same way for a couple of days, the best one yet is when they complained I didn’t talk...
Occasionally if I like the look of the person I'll reply back, but put in the same amount of effort as they do. 90% of the time they get annoyed that I'm not facilitating meaningful conversation "
Omg we chat to the same people  |
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"I always (mostly) reply like for like, but get frustrated when it’s just hi, to which I’ll say hi back then how are you, and I reply to however I’m feeling, then mostly the ‘chat’ dries up... or follows the same way for a couple of days, the best one yet is when they complained I didn’t talk...
Occasionally if I like the look of the person I'll reply back, but put in the same amount of effort as they do. 90% of the time they get annoyed that I'm not facilitating meaningful conversation
Omg we chat to the same people "
It's such a common mindset. It drives me nuts. Yes, I'm looking for sex. No, your sexual abilities don't relate to your writing ability. But I use the distance here and written word to engage and try to work out if you're respectful and safe. If you can't do that, I assume the answer is no.
I don't care about your opinions on Chaucer necessarily, but I do need a proper conversation. Using sentences. And elaboration. That I can read into. |
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I’ll agree that some profiles simply give you nothing to go on, those with a couple of pictures and “Will fill this on later” or “Just seeing what this is about”.
The result? I don’t bother messaging them.
I always try to show that I’ve, in some way, read their profile and that I can say something which answers what they are looking for.
Doesn’t mean I get any more replies though  |
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We don't get too many messages, so something simple like "hi, how are you" is often good. Dryer than getting to the point too quickly (and too explicitly), and if there's no spark there it becomes obvious fairly quickly.
If we were inundated I can see how it might be nice to have something more interesting. |
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"We don't get too many messages, so something simple like "hi, how are you" is often good. Dryer than getting to the point too quickly (and too explicitly), and if there's no spark there it becomes obvious fairly quickly.
If we were inundated I can see how it might be nice to have something more interesting. "
Fair enough! I just don't see what's so hard about, I like x on your interests, y that you said interests me, etc. There's a lot of space between "hi u sexy bbe" and "I'm gonna rip your knickers off with my teeth". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise
It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated. "
I reply to EVERY message even if it’s an eye-roll unless it’s hi
Just hi
Delete |
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"Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise
It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated.
I reply to EVERY message even if it’s an eye-roll unless it’s hi
Just hi
Delete "
Guess we all draw the line. Just feels like many are copy paste sends. Like something to show msg is to us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We filter single guys out so it would be a couple asking us so we would answer, rude not too. We would answer single guys too if we didn't have to work lol. Male  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I honestly think there's an "it depends" answer to this - sometimes a short one liner can be effective at breaking the ice, sometimes a little more detail can spark a conversation.
There's no exact science or magic formula to it, it may depend on the profile of the other person, may depend on level of interest in messaging/meeting new people at the time the message is sent, and a whole host of other things besides.
I've replied to quick one liners and gone on to have great conversations and even meets, similarly I've replied to lengthy opening messages and the conversation has fizzled out after two or three messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi I presume that good manners are a thing of the past . What dose it take to say no thanks. That’s all it takes instead of nothing hat ho at least I was brought up with manners !!!!! |
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"Hi I presume that good manners are a thing of the past . What dose it take to say no thanks. That’s all it takes instead of nothing hat ho at least I was brought up with manners !!!!! "
Good manners include knowing the norms of the place you are in. On Fab, delete without reply means no thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is the hard bit... Trying to gleen enough information from the profile to get a response and start a conversation... Like playing darts in the dark.
I appreciate that there has to be a attraction but I would prefer a sorry no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you’ve got to make a bit more of an effort than that, but I guess it comes entirely down to the profile and person, I structure any message I send based round the profile of the person, I have sent short messages similar to “how are you today” With great success in terms of a decent enough reply but I’ve also had it where there is no response at all. I think everyone should be well mannered and polite enough to respond to any well meaning message but with the amount of messages women get incomparison with men I doubt replying to everyone of them is feasible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is the hard bit... Trying to gleen enough information from the profile to get a response and start a conversation... Like playing darts in the dark.
I appreciate that there has to be a attraction but I would prefer a sorry no thanks. "
It's a fine line. Sometimes a polite "No thank you" opens up a stream of abusive messages. |
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"This is the hard bit... Trying to gleen enough information from the profile to get a response and start a conversation... Like playing darts in the dark.
I appreciate that there has to be a attraction but I would prefer a sorry no thanks.
It's a fine line. Sometimes a polite "No thank you" opens up a stream of abusive messages."
Or let's be friends and I'll try to change your mind, or let's chat, or they can get around message filters in future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always struggle to reply to ‘how are you’ messages
I doubt the sender wants to know I’ve had a crap day at work, a row with my daughter, or a I’ve got a headache. A standard ‘good thanks’ reply doesn’t really help the sender either.
I’d much prefer a slightly more personal message that gives me something to work with,
It doesn’t have to be war and peace, just a couple of lines to help break the ice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a polite, not up my arse person and I reply to all messages. I’m not one of these types who insist on an “interesting “ opening message otherwise you will be ignored, blocked , blackballed etc. Wouldn’t want to meet people who get on like that especially those over 22 stone |
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By *oyRoy06Man
over a year ago
leighton buzzard |
"I honestly think there's an "it depends" answer to this - sometimes a short one liner can be effective at breaking the ice, sometimes a little more detail can spark a conversation.
There's no exact science or magic formula to it, it may depend on the profile of the other person, may depend on level of interest in messaging/meeting new people at the time the message is sent, and a whole host of other things besides.
I've replied to quick one liners and gone on to have great conversations and even meets, similarly I've replied to lengthy opening messages and the conversation has fizzled out after two or three messages."
Nailed it on the head |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m a polite, not up my arse person and I reply to all messages. I’m not one of these types who insist on an “interesting “ opening message otherwise you will be ignored, blocked , blackballed etc. Wouldn’t want to meet people who get on like that especially those over 22 stone "
You sound like a keeper |
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By *oyRoy06Man
over a year ago
leighton buzzard |
"I always struggle to reply to ‘how are you’ messages
I doubt the sender wants to know I’ve had a crap day at work, a row with my daughter, or a I’ve got a headache. A standard ‘good thanks’ reply doesn’t really help the sender either.
I’d much prefer a slightly more personal message that gives me something to work with,
It doesn’t have to be war and peace, just a couple of lines to help break the ice "
There are likely some guys out there who genuinely are interested. Everyone makes connections and build rapport in their own way ... just that so many don't make any effort that the genuine "how are you's" are lost in masses |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I’m a polite, not up my arse person and I reply to all messages. I’m not one of these types who insist on an “interesting “ opening message otherwise you will be ignored, blocked , blackballed etc. Wouldn’t want to meet people who get on like that especially those over 22 stone "
Yeah but you're a bloke as Joe Jackson once sang "It's Different For Girls" and on here it truly is - I'm guessing you get no more than a handful of unsolicited messages a week, or even month, from people you're not already in conversation with/know already - most ladies here, even with the use of filters, can get 30 or 40 (or more) of that type of message a day - so deleting/ignoring etc are part of what they do to manage that load.
Add to that that there *are* those that get abusive for being turned down and you start to understand why the ladies adopt some of the approaches they do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always struggle to reply to ‘how are you’ messages
I doubt the sender wants to know I’ve had a crap day at work, a row with my daughter, or a I’ve got a headache. A standard ‘good thanks’ reply doesn’t really help the sender either.
I’d much prefer a slightly more personal message that gives me something to work with,
It doesn’t have to be war and peace, just a couple of lines to help break the ice
There are likely some guys out there who genuinely are interested. Everyone makes connections and build rapport in their own way ... just that so many don't make any effort that the genuine "how are you's" are lost in masses"
I’m sure you’re right. There are some lovely men on here.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"It must be hard for men particularly to write original first messages. Most are deleted. I know I’m rubbish at first messages. "
It's not easy, but it's also very easy to send the wrong kind of message - I don't often send completely cold unsolicited messages, but when I do it tends to be a short introduction, and explanation why I'm writing, add a bit about why I like the person's profile and why I think we'd be matched and invite them to take a look at mine and get back to me if my interest is matched - has got me a reply on all but one occassion |
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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago
Stafford |
I pretty much reply to everyone politely unless they're the really shitty (fancy a fuck) posts then they won't get a nice reply or a reply atall. I'm always happy to chat to people but just don't be dickhead |
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"Does anyone reply to this or are we being unfair by just deleting them. Realise
It’s not easy to break the ice when you are communicating for the first time with a short profile and pics of genetalia but a little more thought/ effort is appreciated. "
I think it's completely upto you where you set the bar for required effort.
I for example would ask by opening with a statement like "I hope you've had a day nothing short of spectacular" along with other things so I'm not directly asking the same mundane questions but opening it up for further conversation.
I also do genuinely hope everyone has had a spectacular day!
Much love
Mr Playful |
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"I’m a polite, not up my arse person and I reply to all messages. I’m not one of these types who insist on an “interesting “ opening message otherwise you will be ignored, blocked , blackballed etc. Wouldn’t want to meet people who get on like that especially those over 22 stone
Yeah but you're a bloke as Joe Jackson once sang "It's Different For Girls" and on here it truly is - I'm guessing you get no more than a handful of unsolicited messages a week, or even month, from people you're not already in conversation with/know already - most ladies here, even with the use of filters, can get 30 or 40 (or more) of that type of message a day - so deleting/ignoring etc are part of what they do to manage that load.
Add to that that there *are* those that get abusive for being turned down and you start to understand why the ladies adopt some of the approaches they do "
Indeed. I didn't come on here with the mission of being mean or whatever. My approach is an adaptation to my experience of my inbox. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m a polite, not up my arse person and I reply to all messages. I’m not one of these types who insist on an “interesting “ opening message otherwise you will be ignored, blocked , blackballed etc. Wouldn’t want to meet people who get on like that especially those over 22 stone
Yeah but you're a bloke as Joe Jackson once sang "It's Different For Girls" and on here it truly is - I'm guessing you get no more than a handful of unsolicited messages a week, or even month, from people you're not already in conversation with/know already - most ladies here, even with the use of filters, can get 30 or 40 (or more) of that type of message a day - so deleting/ignoring etc are part of what they do to manage that load.
Add to that that there *are* those that get abusive for being turned down and you start to understand why the ladies adopt some of the approaches they do "
agreed and not just women. Those who put effort in get a reply one way or another. Only if I have time do I respond to all messages. Abusive replies just get blocked, I'm here for fun not grief. |
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