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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Howdy all,
I have (as I'm sure some/most women do) a bit of a think for hair pulling, biting and a bit of a spank. Myself and my husband already use restraints etc. I love the feeling of being dominated by my man. However, it hasn't really been his thing. He has told me he doesn't want to hurt me...I would just love him to see how it gets me, we have already tried a bit of domination/roughness in the bedroom, and it was good, but there isn't enough of it. I love the feeling of having my hair pulled and my neck bitten, it sends me into a quivering trance like state. (Anyone else had this?) Any help and advice from people who were new to this or are hardened to it would be greatly appreciated. im sure it is just a case of trial and error. Thanks again for any advice. Xx  |
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i gues it is hard for your hubby to want to hurt a person he loves.
i have a friend i met on here who has slowly come round to the idea of dominating me. We have become very close friends and he was raised to respect women and treat them nice at all times - even wen they are begging to be caned 
we have just always been open about what we want to try and how it makes us feel etc and so far we have tried some great things
as with most things in this game, communication is key |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi was going to reply privately but I can't as i'm outside your age range.
I'm domme mysef and devil si my lovely sub. There are some good websites you could join with lots of wonderfull practical advice. I can't mention them here however
good luck and have fun
Angel x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All in good time would be my view... Or would perhaps a separate person to explore that side with you be an option..
I have actually in the past asked my master if its hard for him when we play rougher because of how we love each other.... But his answer is that It's what we enjoy and we both get a great deal of pleasure from it... But it isn't for some.
Your certainly not uncommon.. I think as long as you show your husband how much you enjoy it, that he will relax... For many its the fact that hurting a loved one or raising a hand to a woman is so wrong to them that it takes a while for them to realise its not anywhere near the same as abuse.
That it is pleasure... It's a power swap... And can lead to amazing places.. my master is very against domestic abuse... And we will not play like that if we were arguing or stressed about something badly... And my well being is always his number one concern...
Just take time and explore slowly... Plenty of things you can do that aren't to extreme.. But very erotic.
Good luck...
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the replies guys. guess I'll need to work at it slowly, I know that there are pressure points on the scalp, I guess It's just finding it. It's not just a case of grabbing a chunk of hair and hoping for the best, same with biting I guess. We'll work on it.  |
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It was difficult for me (Mr) to get my head around and feel comfortable with the things that Mrs wanted, similar to the OP's desires.
Watching say a BDSM spanking video for example, seeing a guy canning a woman, I'd want to thumb the bloke!!! I like to think that is a perfectly natural response to such a thing.
However, we experimented and over time things developed. The thing is, whatever turns on Mrs turns me on too. Nowadays the prospect of 'giving the Mrs a session' so to speak gives me a hard-on, because what turns her on turns me on. Equally my prospective on something like a BDSM video has changed.
For most of us 'hurting' your loved one goes completely against the grain and so it should, but when you come to understand that is not causing pain its causing pleasure then that's quite a different matter.
Your partners feelings are as they should be just now, give it time and he might get his head around the idea but you might have to accept that is not for him. |
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"Howdy all,
I have (as I'm sure some/most women do) a bit of a think for hair pulling, biting and a bit of a spank. Myself and my husband already use restraints etc. I love the feeling of being dominated by my man. However, it hasn't really been his thing. He has told me he doesn't want to hurt me...I would just love him to see how it gets me, we have already tried a bit of domination/roughness in the bedroom, and it was good, but there isn't enough of it. I love the feeling of having my hair pulled and my neck bitten, it sends me into a quivering trance like state. (Anyone else had this?) Any help and advice from people who were new to this or are hardened to it would be greatly appreciated. im sure it is just a case of trial and error. Thanks again for any advice. Xx "
Kev feels exactly the same, which is why i used to visit a dundgeon to be beaten by the DM and then progressed into realising i wanted more. We talked and decided as a couple i could look for a Master.
i got to know experienced bdsm folk, joined sites, read ,learnt made friends and then bumped into the person i was looking for in a swinging chat room
i know other women who have sucessfully gone down the same route, and some who have found it to be a disaster...
Your partner has to be very secure, willing to share you, and your relationshio has to be rock solid. This isnt swining...there is a part of my life kev is not involved in, and he has to be ok with that.
My suggestion would be you visit a dundgeon together and he watch you be restrained, spanked ect by someone. It will teach you both how you react. Kev for example learnt it bored him senseless
Ohh and the sensation you mention sounds like subspace...it can take me days to come down, especially after a hard caning and fucking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have to admit that the pain/pleasure things gives me problems too.
As has been said here, no decent guy would get pleasure from causing pain to a woman, and upbringing and general beliefs are hard to fight against.
Trying to get to grips at the moment with a lady gagging on a cock, maybe not the most painful of experiences, but trying to understand the concept!!   |
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"Have to admit that the pain/pleasure things gives me problems too.
As has been said here, no decent guy would get pleasure from causing pain to a woman, and upbringing and general beliefs are hard to fight against.
Trying to get to grips at the moment with a lady gagging on a cock, maybe not the most painful of experiences, but trying to understand the concept!! "
oh plenty of "decent guys love it"
And as for gagging, its almost instant orgasm territory for me |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Not all BDSM is pain. There is a lot to be said for the bondage/control/submission part of it too. I am a colossal wuss and cry like a girl if I get caned or paddled. I prefer the submission and control part so make it very clear to play partners I don't wish to be hurt. There are plenty of doms out there who are fine with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
oh plenty of "decent guys love it"
And as for gagging, its almost instant orgasm territory for me"
I like it... If It's with a play partner I only gag if I want to.... However I get so turned on when master does it and i have no choice.... I get so wet add to that a nice slap and I will be in heaven.
Those struggling have to remember that your not hurting us... Your giving us the releases we crave.
Cali |
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"Not all BDSM is pain. There is a lot to be said for the bondage/control/submission part of it too. I am a colossal wuss and cry like a girl if I get caned or paddled. I prefer the submission and control part so make it very clear to play partners I don't wish to be hurt. There are plenty of doms out there who are fine with that."
Very true...i am always being told off by a Domme friend of mine for forgetting this, she only uses pain with her partner cos like me he is a pain slut, with her other subs she prefers other techniques of domination. |
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"
oh plenty of "decent guys love it"
And as for gagging, its almost instant orgasm territory for me
I like it... If It's with a play partner I only gag if I want to.... However I get so turned on when master does it and i have no choice.... I get so wet add to that a nice slap and I will be in heaven.
Those struggling have to remember that your not hurting us... Your giving us the releases we crave.
Cali "
well put...and replace slap with punch and heaven arrives  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Not all BDSM is pain. There is a lot to be said for the bondage/control/submission part of it too. I am a colossal wuss and cry like a girl if I get caned or paddled. I prefer the submission and control part so make it very clear to play partners I don't wish to be hurt. There are plenty of doms out there who are fine with that.
Very true...i am always being told off by a Domme friend of mine for forgetting this, she only uses pain with her partner cos like me he is a pain slut, with her other subs she prefers other techniques of domination."
Kink should be enjoyable, whatever it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Very true...i am always being told off by a Domme friend of mine for forgetting this, she only uses pain with her partner cos like me he is a pain slut, with her other subs she prefers other techniques of domination."
I get a mix of both... And get huge amounts from both.. in some ways I'm a pain slut.. but other ways I'm not.. I've never been caned for instance but I love being over my masters knee for a spanking..
However majority of our relationship is using techniques other than pain.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have to admit that the pain/pleasure things gives me problems too.
As has been said here, no decent guy would get pleasure from causing pain to a woman, and upbringing and general beliefs are hard to fight against.
Trying to get to grips at the moment with a lady gagging on a cock, maybe not the most painful of experiences, but trying to understand the concept!!
oh plenty of "decent guys love it"
And as for gagging, its almost instant orgasm territory for me"
I guess I'll just have to keep obliging then!! |
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"What other techniques would you wonderful people like to share with us, other then pain? I would love to hear. Xx  "
Its individual to the sub/Dom couple really, Sir doesnt use pain for anything but our mutual pleasure...how he gets into that space that made me his, thats unique to him and me...
Not being deliberately obtuse but there isnt a simple answer ! The end result is being in a state of mind where your dom/masters pleasure is your pleasure, and that is its own reward. |
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