FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Safe sex and check ups
Safe sex and check ups
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Now we all know that where you site on this is your own business but following up from a comment on another thread I just wanted to say this.
PLEASE.. for the love of god and respect for yourself and others.. DONT THINK that playing safe means you dont need regular check ups..
The comment was if your careful why do you need regular check ups..
THAT TO ME.. is more dangerous than the likes of myself that admit that at times we play bare... but we are regulary checked.
Please how ever you play.. get checked as often as your health service recomends..
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be honest it depends on how often I play had my first meet in a few months last Saturday and had my first check up of the year last week. And always tend to go for check up after I have been to chams or tease. I go about 4 times a year and that suits me. If I played more I would go more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They tell you all that when you go there, they say come every 6 months or if a man didnt use a condom, go there two weeks after having sex. "
Mine tell me that if a condom breaks, to wait for 12 weeks before I go, because some things don't show up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love check ups, kinda like a meet to me... a guy or lady doctor touching my cock.
happy days....."
Lol see peeps, those of you who moan about not getting meets, there's always a silver lining.
I agree Cali, you are responsible for health checks and its excellent advice, people always think it will never happen to them, they wouldn't possibly catch anything. Its always best to be sure  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I only posted this as I was shocked at the venom towards those that play bare.. but then the ignorance of thinking that if you are careful you dont need regular check ups.
Because I play how I do.. I do go more often than most.. I also think that most of the time I have More meets than most..but I take great responsibility for my sexual health..
I think that those that arent going because they think that using a condom means they are being careful... well that is where the real danger lies.
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I would hazard a guess that if you asked who went for check ups and there was data available to who actually did go.... there would be a difference.
just a gut feel... no data to support... no offence to anyone and most certainly not pointed at anyone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I only posted this as I was shocked at the venom towards those that play bare.. but then the ignorance of thinking that if you are careful you dont need regular check ups.
Because I play how I do.. I do go more often than most.. I also think that most of the time I have More meets than most..but I take great responsibility for my sexual health..
I think that those that arent going because they think that using a condom means they are being careful... well that is where the real danger lies.
Cali "
Condoms are not 100% safe only true sfe sex is no sex plus they can split or break well said Cali.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Cali.
please may i ask a question??
please don't take it that i am judging anyone or am for or against how people play be it bareback or safe, it IS just a question.
If, after a checkup, you found that you have got some sort of std that meant, basically, you were going to die from it, what would you do/how would you feel, and, would you regret your decision to play bareback?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Cali.
please may i ask a question??
please don't take it that i am judging anyone or am for or against how people play be it bareback or safe, it IS just a question.
If, after a checkup, you found that you have got some sort of std that meant, basically, you were going to die from it, what would you do/how would you feel, and, would you regret your decision to play bareback??"
no.. I wouldnt regret it.. same as if I had a crash from the fact I like to drive highspeed cars... Its a risk we are prepared to take...
Lets face it you can die from eating the wrong food.. there are so many things.. I would just hope that due to my frequent check ups and sensible safety measures that no one else would be effected.
We are all going to die.. only thing certain in life.. so I intend to live my life to the full..
It by the way is something my Master and I talk about Lots and constantly reevaluate..
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cali.
please may i ask a question??
please don't take it that i am judging anyone or am for or against how people play be it bareback or safe, it IS just a question.
If, after a checkup, you found that you have got some sort of std that meant, basically, you were going to die from it, what would you do/how would you feel, and, would you regret your decision to play bareback??
no.. I wouldnt regret it.. same as if I had a crash from the fact I like to drive highspeed cars... Its a risk we are prepared to take...
Lets face it you can die from eating the wrong food.. there are so many things.. I would just hope that due to my frequent check ups and sensible safety measures that no one else would be effected.
We are all going to die.. only thing certain in life.. so I intend to live my life to the full..
It by the way is something my Master and I talk about Lots and constantly reevaluate..
Cali"
thank you for a polite answer,
if i may ask one more question??
how do you evaluate who you are playing with, whether they are "clean" or not? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
thank you for a polite answer,
if i may ask one more question??
how do you evaluate who you are playing with, whether they are "clean" or not?"
it tends to be regular partners.. So not going to go to a club and play bare so to speak..
We just tend to use common sense and gut feelings.. of course I know just being clean doenst mean you are clean.. but.. more likely lol
To be fair.. how many hear got their regular partner screened before bareback sex. 
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
thank you for a polite answer,
if i may ask one more question??
how do you evaluate who you are playing with, whether they are "clean" or not?
it tends to be regular partners.. So not going to go to a club and play bare so to speak..
We just tend to use common sense and gut feelings.. of course I know just being clean doenst mean you are clean.. but.. more likely lol
To be fair.. how many hear got their regular partner screened before bareback sex.
Cali "
good answers cali
thanks for indulging me lol xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
good answers cali
thanks for indulging me lol xx"
Your welcome.. I know that safe sex has been done to death.. I just felt that someone kicking off about Bareback on a thread that was actually about with your partner not others..and then stating that if you were careful that why did you need regular checks, just made me think OMG...
Are there still people that think that.
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
a question I have always wondered is:
and I am not pointing fingers at anyone and not judging, just wondering.
does it make a difference if you play bareback as a single person with no responsibility versus a person who has children. Surely as a parent, people would minimise all potential risks to their well being to ensure they are here to raise their loved ones. I often read people say their number one priority in life is their kids and don't doubt that is fact. Do they consider the potential impact to their kids. God forbid anything happens.
again, not pointing, just asking
and refer to my previous bareback answers... have always said, it is personal choice, am just interested as a single guy with ZERO responsibility. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
good answers cali
thanks for indulging me lol xx
Your welcome.. I know that safe sex has been done to death.. I just felt that someone kicking off about Bareback on a thread that was actually about with your partner not others..and then stating that if you were careful that why did you need regular checks, just made me think OMG...
Are there still people that think that.
Cali "
strange thing was also .... all the ranting about being safe in everything ... they are both smokers  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I have 6 kids.. I do many things that people would say are a risk.. yet I have also given up riding a motorbike due to a few near miss's.
Yes there is a risk with BB sex.. but the fact is I am very unlikely to catch something life threatening.. and I know someone that in the height of aids becoming known that transmitted it during a blood transfusion.. now that was a long time ago.. and they are still around today.. Even managed to have a child who does not have hiv ( it is possible.. )
So I see it as no worse than the fact I could get cancer from eating or drinking things.. or having a mobile phone..
I as a hobby like to go and take a fast car flat out on a track.. and yes its safeish... but people still die on tracks..
The thing is.. I could catch these things from just meeting someone new romantically... unless I stopped having sex all together would I not be at risk..
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I have 6 kids.. I do many things that people would say are a risk.. yet I have also given up riding a motorbike due to a few near miss's.
Yes there is a risk with BB sex.. but the fact is I am very unlikely to catch something life threatening.. and I know someone that in the height of aids becoming known that transmitted it during a blood transfusion.. now that was a long time ago.. and they are still around today.. Even managed to have a child who does not have hiv ( it is possible.. )
So I see it as no worse than the fact I could get cancer from eating or drinking things.. or having a mobile phone..
I as a hobby like to go and take a fast car flat out on a track.. and yes its safeish... but people still die on tracks..
The thing is.. I could catch these things from just meeting someone new romantically... unless I stopped having sex all together would I not be at risk..
Cali "
cool, thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I would hazard a guess that if you asked who went for check ups and there was data available to who actually did go.... there would be a difference.
just a gut feel... no data to support... no offence to anyone and most certainly not pointed at anyone."
I totally agree View, anyone can claim that they visit clinics, but until people start turning up with results for meets it means very little....again not aimed at anyone in particular and not wanting to cause offence but it means very little..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would hazard a guess that if you asked who went for check ups and there was data available to who actually did go.... there would be a difference.
just a gut feel... no data to support... no offence to anyone and most certainly not pointed at anyone.
I totally agree View, anyone can claim that they visit clinics, but until people start turning up with results for meets it means very little....again not aimed at anyone in particular and not wanting to cause offence but it means very little....."
That's true. The only person you can trust is you and take care of your own safety with use of condoms and regular checks. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I would hazard a guess that if you asked who went for check ups and there was data available to who actually did go.... there would be a difference.
just a gut feel... no data to support... no offence to anyone and most certainly not pointed at anyone.
I totally agree View, anyone can claim that they visit clinics, but until people start turning up with results for meets it means very little....again not aimed at anyone in particular and not wanting to cause offence but it means very little....."
To be honest.. most places to cut costs.. only contact you again if there is a problem.. because its my doctors I use mostly.. The nurse rings me and I pop down for my results.
I will be honest and admit the first time they called me and said....
" we need you to come in to discuss your test results" I about crapped myself.. lol
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I would hazard a guess that if you asked who went for check ups and there was data available to who actually did go.... there would be a difference.
just a gut feel... no data to support... no offence to anyone and most certainly not pointed at anyone.
I totally agree View, anyone can claim that they visit clinics, but until people start turning up with results for meets it means very little....again not aimed at anyone in particular and not wanting to cause offence but it means very little.....
To be honest.. most places to cut costs.. only contact you again if there is a problem.. because its my doctors I use mostly.. The nurse rings me and I pop down for my results.
I will be honest and admit the first time they called me and said....
" we need you to come in to discuss your test results" I about crapped myself.. lol
Cali "
You can have printed results if you wish to purchase them, under the freedom of information act.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
You can have printed results if you wish to purchase them, under the freedom of information act.
"
I am not going to pay for results lol
If I use the GUM clinic they text you the results.. but its like a car mot. it was only valid at that moment.
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
good answers cali
thanks for indulging me lol xx
Your welcome.. I know that safe sex has been done to death.. I just felt that someone kicking off about Bareback on a thread that was actually about with your partner not others..and then stating that if you were careful that why did you need regular checks, just made me think OMG...
Are there still people that think that.
Cali
strange thing was also .... all the ranting about being safe in everything ... they are both smokers "
Lol! Go figure!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I certainly agree with View that I think a lot of people talk the talk but do not actually go and have regular sexual health screenings. Its obvious from some statements people come out with and they have no idea of the procedure etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
lots of swingers clubs have mobile STI clinics now, i know 3 clubs that hold STIs clinics once a month, theres really no excuse for not going, chameleons have one every month on a monday, you dont have to pay to go in if your just going for the clinic you can just go, get tested and leave |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have been twice to Newport! As I am having a fling and here with lover not hubby and was honest about it at the clinic, I felt the glare of the nurse! She was very disapproving! Am not looking forward to another visit! May swap and go to Cardiff! Maybe there I should lie and say its hubby I play with! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah, I admitted I swing and had to really down play the amount of people I had met in 3 months because there was definitely some judging going on with the Dr! Very offputting. Now I just fib but insist on a full screen every 3-4 months. And I am scary safe too. But you never know. I have always gone for screenings when entering into a new relationship too if having unprotected sex and insist my partner does the same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Can I ask, is a GUM clinic anonymous or do they report on your medical file?
I'm thinking about life insurance risk etc. and having the same Dr as other family members |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Can I ask, is a GUM clinic anonymous or do they report on your medical file?
I'm thinking about life insurance risk etc. and having the same Dr as other family members"
anonymous |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yeah, I admitted I swing and had to really down play the amount of people I had met in 3 months because there was definitely some judging going on with the Dr! Very offputting. Now I just fib but insist on a full screen every 3-4 months. And I am scary safe too. But you never know. I have always gone for screenings when entering into a new relationship too if having unprotected sex and insist my partner does the same."
thats a shame.. my doctor I think is not sure how serious I am being.. I told her one month that we were having a slow month as I only just hit double figures and she just laughed..
THe clinic are great.. but then they see a lot of working girls there too... and they I guess are not there to judge.
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If a condom splits and you're not using any other form of contraceptive it's important to see a GP straight away for the morning after pill. Waiting longer may result in an unwanted pregnancy.
Just a warning as earlier posts say wait 2 weeks or 12 weeks before being checked! Not just STIs that are unwanted. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If a condom splits and you're not using any other form of contraceptive it's important to see a GP straight away for the morning after pill. Waiting longer may result in an unwanted pregnancy.
Just a warning as earlier posts say wait 2 weeks or 12 weeks before being checked! Not just STIs that are unwanted."
good point.. I have mine covered with pill and implant hahaha..
cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am waiting to hear back, longest 2 weeks Ever! Slightly off point but relevant too i think. I was talking to my ex (aka shithead) about him being a man whore.....at nearly 34 years of age has never been checked for s.t.i's and i asked why and he replied " i always relied on your tests" id not had a s.t.i test until we split up cos we were together for over twelve years and I never thought i needed to due to me being faithful, but by admitting he relied on my tests confirmed he had cheated! Anyway only tests i had were the ones you have while pregnant. Dunno if they are even checking for s.t.i's |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago
south staffs |
"
I know that safe sex has been done to death.. I just felt that someone kicking off about Bareback on a thread that was actually about with your partner not others..and then stating that if you were careful that why did you need regular checks, just made me think OMG...
Are there still people that think that.
Cali "
To answer your question, Cali; Yes there are. I speak to lots of men on here and every one gets the same question.
The number of guys who answer exactly that "but I always play safe . . " !! I would say it is near 60%. One told me that having a check-up just for the peace of mind of someone on this site was not a good enough reason. He last had one 18m ago and had met a number of people.
I get a fair bit of flack for asking guys directly, but the question is important and if it makes at least one more young guy go to the clinic, it is a positive.
Jane x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been twice to Newport! As I am having a fling and here with lover not hubby and was honest about it at the clinic, I felt the glare of the nurse! She was very disapproving! Am not looking forward to another visit! May swap and go to Cardiff! Maybe there I should lie and say its hubby I play with! "
i got the same attitude from my local clinic , very judgemental as i am married , she even gave me a lecture on the morals of my persuits ,
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago
south staffs |
GUM clinic staff is not there to sit in any kind of judgement of anyone. Their job is to take care of the people who go to get checked, whatever the reason for them going.
If they give a person grief they should be told the above, and a note should be passed to the manager of that clinic, or directly to the management of the hospital responsible for the clinic.
It is in the interest of the Healthcare Trust and of public health to make a visit to the GUM clinic as nice an experience as possible. If a nurse sniffs or looks down her nose at you, you will not rush to return, even if you needed to ! Bad news !!
Jane x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Think what an amazing place this would be if we all had tests at the same time and could some how prove/post the results. There would be no need to worry about safe sex because that would be all there is. There could be some sort of intake policy with current test results to keep everyone else safe. In an ideal world I know!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Think what an amazing place this would be if we all had tests at the same time and could some how prove/post the results. There would be no need to worry about safe sex because that would be all there is. There could be some sort of intake policy with current test results to keep everyone else safe. In an ideal world I know!! "
Thing is the test results are only at that moment... you could be developing something that wont show till the next test.. and you could get something a few hours after the test.
Actually I am typing this while waiting to go in for mine lol.. already had my blood tests done though.
I am sure my doctor thinks I make it up..
cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otbodiesCouple
over a year ago
Berlin, germany |
we get tested every 6 months - that was the decision we took before starting this.
We also never do bareback, or knowingly meet people who have bareback with non regular partners.
We used condoms with each other too until we got our first all clear test results |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They tell you all that when you go there, they say come every 6 months or if a man didnt use a condom, go there two weeks after having sex. "
Going two weeks after is no good. There is the risk of H.I.V so going to the clinic next day and taking the 3 tablets to kill any infection is a must for H.I.V and STD's. Two weeks is too late after bareback especially for H.I.V infection. Best off never going bareback. Its too dangerous. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
My doctor and clinic always says to come back again when its been two weeks if I go in after BB sex..
Never ever been offered tablets.. asked about contraception and if I need morning afterpill .. but I am well covered on that.
Cali |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"They tell you all that when you go there, they say come every 6 months or if a man didnt use a condom, go there two weeks after having sex.
Going two weeks after is no good. There is the risk of H.I.V so going to the clinic next day and taking the 3 tablets to kill any infection is a must for H.I.V and STD's. Two weeks is too late after bareback especially for H.I.V infection. Best off never going bareback. Its too dangerous."
3 tablets to kill infection?????Never heard of that - morning after pill is usually 3 tablets isn't it??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have been twice to Newport! As I am having a fling and here with lover not hubby and was honest about it at the clinic, I felt the glare of the nurse! She was very disapproving! Am not looking forward to another visit! May swap and go to Cardiff! Maybe there I should lie and say its hubby I play with! "
Just either dont tell them or make something up if your bothered about how they will judge you...and if someone does judge you then look down your nose at them...the pox knows no social barriers anyway..
I would have thought it was safer to get checked after every encounter..its worthless someone saving it up for three months if they are playing every week/other week etc
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"lots of swingers clubs have mobile STI clinics now, i know 3 clubs that hold STIs clinics once a month, theres really no excuse for not going, chameleons have one every month on a monday, you dont have to pay to go in if your just going for the clinic you can just go, get tested and leave"
can i ask which clubs do this...i go to the gum clinic every 3 months, but have to take time off work to do it cos they only open during the day. been trying to find somewhere out of hours, but they only offer that to under 25's...anyone would thing you can't get an sti once you're older!!
also...just out of interest. have any of you been caught out, and have you told the people you have had sex with!! i play safe all the time, but have been caught once with chlamydia (all clear now!!)...i texted everyone who's number i still have and messaged all those with a profile and they all seemed surprised that i had told them! i was surprised at how many i prompted to get tested though...most of them came back and told me they were all clear fortunately, only one didn't reply so i'm guessing he was the source (or someone fibbed!!) x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My friend who was married got a std of her husband he cheated on her on hols so sometimes it doesn't matter if u urself use condoms coz u partner might not, at end of day were all adults n using condoms doesn't stop spread of pubic lice, herpes , and crabs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *scottMan
over a year ago
Uttoxeter |
"Now we all know that where you site on this is your own business but following up from a comment on another thread I just wanted to say this.
PLEASE.. for the love of god and respect for yourself and others.. DONT THINK that playing safe means you dont need regular check ups..
The comment was if your careful why do you need regular check ups..
THAT TO ME.. is more dangerous than the likes of myself that admit that at times we play bare... but we are regulary checked.
Please how ever you play.. get checked as often as your health service recomends..
Cali "
Here here. Well said. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
