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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all,
I am looking for a master for my wife who could introduce her to the master and slave dynamic.
Not looking for extreme stuff but a erotic experience based around restraint and blindfold.
Happy for either male or female masters.
Also looking for general advice from you all!
Many thanks, |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
First I would suggest take your time there is no rush.
I would also suggest if you have not done so, go into more detail with your wife as to what she wants.
It is also worth your wife completing the online bdsm test (some people don't rate it, but it is a good starting place. There msy be terms you need to look up).
I terms of clarity as an example you say bondage, does her fantasy require rope,or steel handcuffs, leather cuffs, bondage tape etc. If they use rope they need at least basic skills to do rope and know about rope safety.
Is the restraint a required circumstance in itself or is it to enhance the submission?
If you don't go into detail people will use any excuse to push boundaries.
So you need to know hard limits and soft limits. Also which soft limits can be moved in a scene and which can't.
Although you are approaching it as a submissive it does not mean you should be walked over. You negotiate and discuss until your wife is happy and you as a supporter in her corner are happy.
Don't be afraid to ask for their references, would their previous subs recommend them if they play privately? Can you message or speak to the sub?
What does the 'Master' although I think they are more a top than a master want out of the situation? How would they plan the first meeting. Do they have checklists, what aftercare do they give?
I would doing suggest doing further research online and not just here. There are a number of websites dedicated to subs (as a newbie fetlife may be difficult to navigate). Luna K has an online submissive guide.
Don't accept anyone who automatically gives orders, harrases or won't answer reasonable questions.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would go to more specialist website. F life does have some good newbie groups for advice. Here is probably not the place for an experienced serious Master. Good luck  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Zensual, as usual, has covered the broad dynamics and necessities fairly well OP - you'd do well to follow his suggestions.
One question for you though, and it's as much out of curiosity as anything, why are you looking for a dominant for your wife, rather than taking on that role yourself? Could perhaps be a shared journey of discovery if you did, and one that would avoid the potential pitfalls, at least initially, of finding the wrong kind of dominant.
You may also find it easier if your wife took an active part in the looking, rather than you "finding a Master for her" as you suggest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"First I would suggest take your time there is no rush.
I would also suggest if you have not done so, go into more detail with your wife as to what she wants.
It is also worth your wife completing the online bdsm test (some people don't rate it, but it is a good starting place. There msy be terms you need to look up).
I terms of clarity as an example you say bondage, does her fantasy require rope,or steel handcuffs, leather cuffs, bondage tape etc. If they use rope they need at least basic skills to do rope and know about rope safety.
Is the restraint a required circumstance in itself or is it to enhance the submission?
If you don't go into detail people will use any excuse to push boundaries.
So you need to know hard limits and soft limits. Also which soft limits can be moved in a scene and which can't.
Although you are approaching it as a submissive it does not mean you should be walked over. You negotiate and discuss until your wife is happy and you as a supporter in her corner are happy.
Don't be afraid to ask for their references, would their previous subs recommend them if they play privately? Can you message or speak to the sub?
What does the 'Master' although I think they are more a top than a master want out of the situation? How would they plan the first meeting. Do they have checklists, what aftercare do they give?
I would doing suggest doing further research online and not just here. There are a number of websites dedicated to subs (as a newbie fetlife may be difficult to navigate). Luna K has an online submissive guide.
Don't accept anyone who automatically gives orders, harrases or won't answer reasonable questions.
Good luck"
OP may I just say, you should follow this guy's advice & guidance. He's clearly in the know". x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"First I would suggest take your time there is no rush.
I would also suggest if you have not done so, go into more detail with your wife as to what she wants.
It is also worth your wife completing the online bdsm test (some people don't rate it, but it is a good starting place. There msy be terms you need to look up).
I terms of clarity as an example you say bondage, does her fantasy require rope,or steel handcuffs, leather cuffs, bondage tape etc. If they use rope they need at least basic skills to do rope and know about rope safety.
Is the restraint a required circumstance in itself or is it to enhance the submission?
If you don't go into detail people will use any excuse to push boundaries.
So you need to know hard limits and soft limits. Also which soft limits can be moved in a scene and which can't.
Although you are approaching it as a submissive it does not mean you should be walked over. You negotiate and discuss until your wife is happy and you as a supporter in her corner are happy.
Don't be afraid to ask for their references, would their previous subs recommend them if they play privately? Can you message or speak to the sub?
What does the 'Master' although I think they are more a top than a master want out of the situation? How would they plan the first meeting. Do they have checklists, what aftercare do they give?
I would doing suggest doing further research online and not just here. There are a number of websites dedicated to subs (as a newbie fetlife may be difficult to navigate). Luna K has an online submissive guide.
Don't accept anyone who automatically gives orders, harrases or won't answer reasonable questions.
Good luck
OP may I just say, you should follow this guy's advice & guidance. He's clearly in the know". x"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"First I would suggest take your time there is no rush.
I would also suggest if you have not done so, go into more detail with your wife as to what she wants.
It is also worth your wife completing the online bdsm test (some people don't rate it, but it is a good starting place. There msy be terms you need to look up).
I terms of clarity as an example you say bondage, does her fantasy require rope,or steel handcuffs, leather cuffs, bondage tape etc. If they use rope they need at least basic skills to do rope and know about rope safety.
Is the restraint a required circumstance in itself or is it to enhance the submission?
If you don't go into detail people will use any excuse to push boundaries.
So you need to know hard limits and soft limits. Also which soft limits can be moved in a scene and which can't.
Although you are approaching it as a submissive it does not mean you should be walked over. You negotiate and discuss until your wife is happy and you as a supporter in her corner are happy.
Don't be afraid to ask for their references, would their previous subs recommend them if they play privately? Can you message or speak to the sub?
What does the 'Master' although I think they are more a top than a master want out of the situation? How would they plan the first meeting. Do they have checklists, what aftercare do they give?
I would doing suggest doing further research online and not just here. There are a number of websites dedicated to subs (as a newbie fetlife may be difficult to navigate). Luna K has an online submissive guide.
Don't accept anyone who automatically gives orders, harrases or won't answer reasonable questions.
Good luck
OP may I just say, you should follow this guy's advice & guidance. He's clearly in the know". x"
|
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