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Explicit messages
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I just wondered if there's any ladies on here who enjoy a very explicit first message. I seem to get a lot of them, and although I have it listed in my profile that I don't want to receive them, nobody reads that.
They often describe exactly what they would like to do to me on seeing me for the first time, and some of the stuff they describe is extremely full on, aggressive and not at all what I'd like ever even somebody I knew very well.
I just wondered if maybe other people do enjoy these kinds of messages, as why would I receive so many, if some of them didn't get a positive response from other profiles?
I prefer the kind of message that would be the same kind of introductory chat should I be in a pub or night club, where somebody wouldn't walk up to me and say eg...
" I'd like to throw you over this desk and slap your ass until you're nearly crying and then pound you until your back doors are broken, before holding your arms down and coming deep in your pussy as you feel my load explode."
What is that all about, and does it actually work for anybody? |
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I don't like it either, there's always a lot of assumptions and sometimes really offputting scenarios.
There's time for imagining and describing meetings after you've got to know someone and you know their likes and wants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree explicit is not the way to go first up but I guess the challenge is to try and stand out from the hundreds of other messages that you must receive "
But surely you'd prefer to stand out in a good way? ie treating the woman as an individual and not as some anonymous porn-style fantasy? Perhaps some women do like explicit messages but I would imagine they are in the minority |
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Some might say "What do you expect? It's a sex site", but I don't believe that excuses the behaviour.
It you explicitly state you don't wish to receive messages like that, then people should respect that.
They surely can't imagine it will be successful can they?! |
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I delete those or at most reply with a WOW yeah hello nice to meet you.
Generally in my experience messages like that have been followed by an abusive one from the sender when they see you’ve deleted it. |
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"I agree explicit is not the way to go first up but I guess the challenge is to try and stand out from the hundreds of other messages that you must receive
But surely you'd prefer to stand out in a good way? ie treating the woman as an individual and not as some anonymous porn-style fantasy? Perhaps some women do like explicit messages but I would imagine they are in the minority "
I fully agree with you and that's what I try to do. Selfishly whilst I am sure it's really frustrating for someone to receive, it helps my messages hopefully stand out from all the creeps and weirdos |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
Some profiles state how they are so bored of the usual 'Hi, how are you?' type messages and request people type something interesting or intrigue me. Some have sparse profiles with 'fill in later'. I have never dived in with messages of that nature but I have considered it to see if it piques people's interest more. |
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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago
Sussex/Surrey |
Absolutely wrong and unpleasant. They are just getting off on it, and more so as you have specifically mentioned you don’t want those kinds of messages (who would?).
The answer must be to just just block single men from messaging you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree. It's the idiots and dreamers that spoil it for the good guys like me. It's tacky and gives the perception that your nothing more than a tracksuit wearing chav..  |
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"I agree. It's the idiots and dreamers that spoil it for the good guys like me. It's tacky and gives the perception that your nothing more than a tracksuit wearing chav.. "
In my opinion though, nobody spoils it for anybody else, they just make you look better if you know how to behave.
I feel they spoil it for themselves, not for others. |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
I normally just roll my eyes at such messages, but occasionally one might catch my eye, if it’s well written, engaging, also covers normal topics of conversation and close to my own interests.
There’s a great difference between those messages and the former wank fodder ones in my book. |
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Ooh I hate it. So often they're violent and creepy, too.
And yes, this is a sex site (ish). What do I expect? Someone I can develop trust in over time who respects my humanity. Where I feel comfortable being alone and entirely vulnerable with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am lucky that I don't receive messages like that, or hardly ever. The senders make very far-fetched assumptions about people they send this kind of messages to, as not every single woman is into rough sex. Some fantasies should be kept private, if I'm honest. |
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"I suspect the message isn't for your benefit but theirs. They don't actually want to meet just talk dirty."
This too. I, surprisingly regularly, get messages involving destroying my things, injuring me, or humiliating me in front of a large group of people (in the region of half a dozen a week, it's not a massive number). I can't imagine there are that many people who are so delusional as to think that that might actually get them a positive response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had the odd one I’ve read out to hubby and we’ve pissed ourselves Laughing. He’s like when I was a single guy on there I never would send a message like that. Do they think in their minds this actually works?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with the OP, another thing that bugs me is you send a polite message saying hello ect and all profile Related (cos I read before I message!) and get told for F**koff!    "
I wouldn’t say that but id say a polite not for me x |
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By *entSWMan
over a year ago
South West and Tenerife |
I must say I don't actually think it's that difficult to write a polite coherent introductory message. It just takes a bit of thought and effort. Of course there are so many single guys on here most of them never even get read. But you just have to accept that is just part of being a single guy on fab. What amazes me are the number of profiles that early state they will simply delete one line messages or rude messages yet apparently there are so many single guys that continue to send them. I just don't get it. So they all really think they are going to get any success at all? |
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"I must say I don't actually think it's that difficult to write a polite coherent introductory message. It just takes a bit of thought and effort. Of course there are so many single guys on here most of them never even get read. But you just have to accept that is just part of being a single guy on fab. What amazes me are the number of profiles that early state they will simply delete one line messages or rude messages yet apparently there are so many single guys that continue to send them. I just don't get it. So they all really think they are going to get any success at all? "
I read, back when online dating (etc) was in its infancy, that many men take a scattergun approach. If you send "hi bb howz u fancy a fukk" to 1000 women, you've increased your exposure to the available pool, and odds are one will say yes, so it succeeds. I have no idea if that's true, because I'm part of the 999 that delete, but it seems to be a decent explanation for what's going on. |
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"I must say I don't actually think it's that difficult to write a polite coherent introductory message. It just takes a bit of thought and effort. Of course there are so many single guys on here most of them never even get read. But you just have to accept that is just part of being a single guy on fab. What amazes me are the number of profiles that early state they will simply delete one line messages or rude messages yet apparently there are so many single guys that continue to send them. I just don't get it. So they all really think they are going to get any success at all?
I read, back when online dating (etc) was in its infancy, that many men take a scattergun approach. If you send "hi bb howz u fancy a fukk" to 1000 women, you've increased your exposure to the available pool, and odds are one will say yes, so it succeeds. I have no idea if that's true, because I'm part of the 999 that delete, but it seems to be a decent explanation for what's going on.
"
The same basis on which email spam and phishing attacks are sent. |
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"I must say I don't actually think it's that difficult to write a polite coherent introductory message. It just takes a bit of thought and effort. Of course there are so many single guys on here most of them never even get read. But you just have to accept that is just part of being a single guy on fab. What amazes me are the number of profiles that early state they will simply delete one line messages or rude messages yet apparently there are so many single guys that continue to send them. I just don't get it. So they all really think they are going to get any success at all?
I read, back when online dating (etc) was in its infancy, that many men take a scattergun approach. If you send "hi bb howz u fancy a fukk" to 1000 women, you've increased your exposure to the available pool, and odds are one will say yes, so it succeeds. I have no idea if that's true, because I'm part of the 999 that delete, but it seems to be a decent explanation for what's going on. "
I think the scattergun approach is a viable strategy for the guy who just wants a fuck, with the proviso that you do need to draft a reasonable message. Copy and paste that message to a hundred women and you'll probably get one or two replies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I don't like it but it's never a surprise. It's a site full of sex pics, sex veris, descriptions of fucking every which way.
I don't see it as an issue at all. I'm not what they're looking for so I wish them well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must say I don't actually think it's that difficult to write a polite coherent introductory message. It just takes a bit of thought and effort. Of course there are so many single guys on here most of them never even get read. But you just have to accept that is just part of being a single guy on fab. What amazes me are the number of profiles that early state they will simply delete one line messages or rude messages yet apparently there are so many single guys that continue to send them. I just don't get it. So they all really think they are going to get any success at all? "
They probably don't bother reading the profiles until they actually get a reply. I wouldn't bother either!
Most women and couples delete without reply so why bother wasting time reading the profile or writing any length of message.
If they can be arsed to reply, then is the time to read the profile and see if there's any attraction. |
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