FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Swingers: Mentally Healthier Then Their Monogamous Peers!?
Swingers: Mentally Healthier Then Their Monogamous Peers!?
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After 7 years SWINGING togther as a couple I think it may be true to say that both men and women who swing may have some important mental health strengths!
One of the traits that determines happiness and mental health is flexibility: the capacity for creativity, abstract thinking, and adapting to changing circumstances. When it comes to the sex lives of swingers that we have experinced, there’s no question that they are more flexible in their approach to sex than their monogamous counterparts. But the real question is more complex: Is flexibility toward sex a good thing or a bad thing?
Distinguishing characteristic we have found is that couples who swing have less fear than monogamous couples. What’s more, they cheat less!
In terms of the fear, monogamous couples often fall into the toxic jealousy trap, afraid that a particular behavior or gesture might lead to a full-fledged affair and the end of the relationship. Monogamous couples also often fear that their best days are behind them, that they lost the opportunity for sexual excitement in favor of settling down and getting married. On the other hand, swinging couples are often deeply in love and emotionally connected, but they don’t value sex in the same way their monogamous peers do.
When it comes down to the nitty-gritty, the dividing line is all about the values any couple holds toward sex.
In our experience we have found that monogamous couples are often judgmental about a sex life that is anything other than monogamous, while swinging couples often espouse more of a live-and-let-live attitude. In other words, they’re often less judgmental of couples who choose to live a monogamous lifestyle.
For us, not only has swinging greatly enriched our sex life, it has also helped us learn so much more about ourselves and human nature!!!
VIVA SWINGING FOLKS!
Mel xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a load of rubbish. The lack of understanding about mental health you see on this forums is shocking. People need to go do some research before spouting shite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s whatever you want to tell yourself. If it makes you happy then it’ll help your mental health but there’s a lot of insecurity out there and people on here exhibiting poor coping strategies... |
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I don't know if mental health is better in swingers. I tend to believe the opposite but I can't speak for all swingers.
Without having a representative sample but based entirely on personal experiences, I'd say a sense of void and the constant feeling that something is missing from one's life is much more common in swingers than in the general population.
Yes monogamous people have their own problems as well but different ones.
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I’d say swingers are at least as fucked up mentally as any other group in society .
Infact if you look at the forums it could be argued they are more fucked up than non swingers .
So sorry op , although couples who swing don’t generally have the same sexual hang ups as monogamous couples , it doesn’t follow that they are any more sane . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No more, no less. I think the site itself is prone to attract some of the most mentally vulnerable people. Swinging couples just as included in that sweeping statement I just made.
I think the happiest, most emotionally secure, strongest minds I've ever met have been part of a Swinging Couple, by no means all of them though.
I've seen relationships crumble because of Swinging, or more accurately, because of the relationship.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there are some very mentally well people on here and some not so. I think this lifestyle means we have to be more in tune with out mental and emotional well-being.
I think some need to be more aware of their own emotional hygiene as there are alot of damaged, insecure and emotionally insecure people on here.
Emotional hygiene refers to being mindful of our psychological health and adopting brief daily habits to monitor and address psychological wounds when we sustain them.
Currently, our general neglect of our emotional hygiene is profound, in a world where our minds are under constant information overload, stress levels at an all time high and depression on the increase. what daily activity do we do to maintain our psychological health?
I would argue the consequences of neglecting emotional hygiene can have a detrimental affect on any relationship or individual.
For example after cross words with partners or friends do we make sure their self-esteem recovers and rebounds back to where it should be. Are we aware of the ways negative self-talk impacts on their emotional resilience and how do they deal with it.
As an indivdual do you know how to break out of a cycle of ruminating and brooding about distressing events within your relationship. I.e loseing your temper, arguing, letting your partner down etc ?
Any of the above left unchecked can cause negative emotions that pick away at us and grow creating an psychological wound, that then can impact in all aspects of our lives.
So how do we start to tackle emotional hygiene.
Pay Attention to Emotional Pain
If you find yourself hurting emotionally for several days because of a rejection, a failure, a bad mood etc, this feeling needs to be brought under control so it reduces the damage it can do. Look at ways to compensate for these feelings. Meditation, mindfulness etc even just opening up and talking to your partner.
Stop Emotional Bleeding
Many psychological wounds launch vicious cycles that only make the pain worse. For example, failure can lead to a lack of confidence and feelings of helplessness that only make you more likely to fail again in the future. Having awareness of these consequences, catching these negative cycles, and stopping your emotional bleeding by correcting them is crucial in many such situations.
Protect Your Self-Esteem
Our self-esteem acts as an emotional immune system which can buffer us and lend us greater emotional resilience. Therefore, we should get in the habit of monitoring our self-esteem, boosting it when it is low, and avoiding negative self-talk of the kind that damages it further.
Battle Negative Thinking
It is natural to think about distressing events, but when our thinking becomes repetitive we are no longer problem-solving, we are ruminating. Ruminating can be very costly to our psychological health, as well as to our physical health, and can put us at risk for clinical depression. We have to battle negative thinking and avoid falling into the habit of over-focusing on distressing events.
When you learn how to treat psychological wounds—and teach those we love how to do so as well—you will not only build emotional resilience, you will thrive.
Once you are aware of emotional hygiene and how to spot it you can put your own emotional first aid kit together. Build brief interventions into your daily routine. Encourage those in your life to share emotional baggage with each other and simple talk. |
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By *innypopsCouple
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
This is a direct copy paste from a Web page. Ot sure why the OP is posting it as their own opinion/experience? Unless they wrote the original Web page?
I can see another viewpoint on this. Medication and personal experience. Medication can have all these effects along with personal experience. Maybe people that have been through tough times, have had experiences that make them question themselves and their relationships with others, who may or may not end up on medication for mental health issues (which can be a disinhibitor) are more honest with themselves and more open to non monogamy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d say swingers are at least as fucked up mentally as any other group in society .
Infact if you look at the forums it could be argued they are more fucked up than non swingers .
So sorry op , although couples who swing don’t generally have the same sexual hang ups as monogamous couples , it doesn’t follow that they are any more sane ."
I agree with this....  |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I would suggest that fab is just a reflection of the general population. You get swinging couple who are open minded and liberated but equally you get couples who are judgmental and narrow minded. You get men and women who are on here cheating and then you get the ones who are looking for love. All walks of life are on here and that is what makes it so interesting.
It is perhaps why Sidney University are always research on here.  |
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