FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > whats tge strangest thing you had up your fanny?
whats tge strangest thing you had up your fanny?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so one summer when I was at uni I was temping in a office in the city and ended up having a fling with one of the women who worked there. One night we both ended up staying late working in a project and as the night went in we got friskier and friskier. Emma had talked about how she really liked to be stretched and this night I suggested we give it a try 
I grabbed a couple of boxes if vix biros and started to insert them one at a time till she could take no more (can't remember the number now lol, old age setting in lol). The funniest part was seeing certain members if staff chewing on the ends of them the next day lol.
So what's the strangest thing you have had up your fanny/bum? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Donr think ive ever had anything strange
Mind you what i call not strange other may lol"
LOL well as a medical professional why don't you tell me and I'll let you know what is strange or not lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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mmmmm an alien..... warm pulses soft at 1st but once you touch it which is funny it goes hard. The wierd thing is its only got one eye and spits through it!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe the OP should of used another word apart from Fanny, just for the American users of the site  with it pertaining to a different part of the body in the states. The answers would still be worth looking at.
Perhaps Clunge the word of the moment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"an old ex of mine once sent me a pic when i was at work of her with a torch inside herself then laater on that morning a frying pan handle.."
I's only start to worry if she had the entire pan up there, complete with egg, bacon and beans ...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got stuck on a bedpost once. Middle of a party and I was clearly just trying to show off. It was an old fashioned kind of bed with a big round knob on the end of the post. Charlie bet me that I couldn't fit it in. I could, just, but then someone made me laugh and I tensed up around the damn thing. That was it, I was stuck, everyone started trying to help me off it but i couldn't stop laughing long enough to relax the muscles. Then I started panicking which didn't help either, funnily enough. Took me over an hour to relax enough to be able to ease myself back round it. Can you imagine having to call the paramedics to that scene! Needless to say i had a very sore foof for the next few weeks. Damn that exhibitionist in me!! Thank god it was in our own home too. It's one thing get stuck on your own bedpost but getting stuck on the end of someone elses bed would have been embarrassing lol!! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got stuck on a bedpost once. Middle of a party and I was clearly just trying to show off. It was an old fashioned kind of bed with a big round knob on the end of the post. Charlie bet me that I couldn't fit it in. I could, just, but then someone made me laugh and I tensed up around the damn thing. That was it, I was stuck, everyone started trying to help me off it but i couldn't stop laughing long enough to relax the muscles. Then I started panicking which didn't help either, funnily enough. Took me over an hour to relax enough to be able to ease myself back round it. Can you imagine having to call the paramedics to that scene! Needless to say i had a very sore foof for the next few weeks. Damn that exhibitionist in me!! Thank god it was in our own home too. It's one thing get stuck on your own bedpost but getting stuck on the end of someone elses bed would have been embarrassing lol!! xx"
Brilliant, I can't stop laughing, sorry  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"I got stuck on a bedpost once. Middle of a party and I was clearly just trying to show off. It was an old fashioned kind of bed with a big round knob on the end of the post. Charlie bet me that I couldn't fit it in. I could, just, but then someone made me laugh and I tensed up around the damn thing. That was it, I was stuck, everyone started trying to help me off it but i couldn't stop laughing long enough to relax the muscles. Then I started panicking which didn't help either, funnily enough. Took me over an hour to relax enough to be able to ease myself back round it. Can you imagine having to call the paramedics to that scene! Needless to say i had a very sore foof for the next few weeks. Damn that exhibitionist in me!! Thank god it was in our own home too. It's one thing get stuck on your own bedpost but getting stuck on the end of someone elses bed would have been embarrassing lol!! xx"
Thats a brilliant story  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"saw a piece in a lads mag years ago about strange objects in bodily orifices..
one guy had a light bulb up his arse, another a glass jar..
"
Smashing ................ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"was an a and e nurse in the 1980s and we had to removed a tennis ball that was so high up it was almost in her womb."
You would still get John Mcenroe saying it was on the line  |
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"saw a piece in a lads mag years ago about strange objects in bodily orifices..
one guy had a light bulb up his arse, another a glass jar..
"
Saw on TV the guy who shoved thermometers up his backside and sat down in a hurry!!!*OUCH*
Died of mercury poisoning.... |
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A dinasors tail it was mine from when I was young a big soft toy but a plastic face and tail.
Hubby is boring on this front but I love having different things up me, spay canisters hair brushes, torches, bottles food anything. I would love to go to a meet of people like minded. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A dinasors tail it was mine from when I was young a big soft toy but a plastic face and tail.
Hubby is boring on this front but I love having different things up me, spay canisters hair brushes, torches, bottles food anything. I would love to go to a meet of people like minded."
Shame your not closer I can think of a few things to insert into you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My ex tried to put a butternut squash in....??
I take it it didn't fit? LOL nope was mahoosive. Like a babies head! Ow ow ow ow......got him back though. Little finger...japs eye hahahahaha"
You should be locked up for that! That is just wrong! LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met a man and he was pretending to be my fanny doctor, he put a big but plug in my pussy, he said it would stretch it so he could put his hand in there, only it didnt and it hurt a lot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a man and he was pretending to be my fanny doctor, he put a big but plug in my pussy, he said it would stretch it so he could put his hand in there, only it didnt and it hurt a lot."
oh dear, not a very good bedside manner then...
Inflatable dildo on prescription for you for next time...
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got stuck on a bedpost once. Middle of a party and I was clearly just trying to show off. It was an old fashioned kind of bed with a big round knob on the end of the post. Charlie bet me that I couldn't fit it in. I could, just, but then someone made me laugh and I tensed up around the damn thing. That was it, I was stuck, everyone started trying to help me off it but i couldn't stop laughing long enough to relax the muscles. Then I started panicking which didn't help either, funnily enough. Took me over an hour to relax enough to be able to ease myself back round it. Can you imagine having to call the paramedics to that scene! Needless to say i had a very sore foof for the next few weeks. Damn that exhibitionist in me!! Thank god it was in our own home too. It's one thing get stuck on your own bedpost but getting stuck on the end of someone elses bed would have been embarrassing lol!! xx"
BedKNOBS and Broomsticks....and then some |
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"I got stuck on a bedpost once. Middle of a party and I was clearly just trying to show off. It was an old fashioned kind of bed with a big round knob on the end of the post. Charlie bet me that I couldn't fit it in. I could, just, but then someone made me laugh and I tensed up around the damn thing. That was it, I was stuck, everyone started trying to help me off it but i couldn't stop laughing long enough to relax the muscles. Then I started panicking which didn't help either, funnily enough. Took me over an hour to relax enough to be able to ease myself back round it. Can you imagine having to call the paramedics to that scene! Needless to say i had a very sore foof for the next few weeks. Damn that exhibitionist in me!! Thank god it was in our own home too. It's one thing get stuck on your own bedpost but getting stuck on the end of someone elses bed would have been embarrassing lol!! xx"
Jes an hour, hope someone got you some nice pillows to rest on, or where you stuck doing a horse stance for an hour.
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I got stuck on a bedpost once. Middle of a party and I was clearly just trying to show off. It was an old fashioned kind of bed with a big round knob on the end of the post. Charlie bet me that I couldn't fit it in. I could, just, but then someone made me laugh and I tensed up around the damn thing. That was it, I was stuck, everyone started trying to help me off it but i couldn't stop laughing long enough to relax the muscles. Then I started panicking which didn't help either, funnily enough. Took me over an hour to relax enough to be able to ease myself back round it. Can you imagine having to call the paramedics to that scene! Needless to say i had a very sore foof for the next few weeks. Damn that exhibitionist in me!! Thank god it was in our own home too. It's one thing get stuck on your own bedpost but getting stuck on the end of someone elses bed would have been embarrassing lol!! xx"
We thought of you while out bed shopping this afternoon...we saw the biggest knob on the end of the bed you have ever seen....do you want us to tell you which shop it is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a girlfriend at Uni, who could only cum if she had 3 or 4 ice cubes inserted into her as I had sex.
I agree with you, its a very unique cool feeling, not least as the ice melts.... but the damp sheets did put me off a little. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You no I asked a recent meet this very question and her reply was erm to be honest you Timbers my lad. lol cheeky bugger I dont no if that was a compliment or not, maybe it had something to do with the little love note I had left for her the day before lol pen ran out so I wrote it in my own shit on the back of the door haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You no I asked a recent meet this very question and her reply was erm to be honest you Timbers my lad. lol cheeky bugger I dont no if that was a compliment or not, maybe it had something to do with the little love note I had left for her the day before lol pen ran out so I wrote it in my own shit on the back of the door haha "
was that the very same shit that you traipsed into your car when you were dumping in the woods |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my wife is a nurse,and has some very funny stories,the most dangerous one was ,one lady had being inserting the handle of a crystel bell inside her bum and the shaft broke just as it was into the hilt, it took more than a houre to get it out as it had worked its way right in,so be carfull.for some reason pingpong balls , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a full family packed of cadbury's mini egs one at a time and then fucked with them inside = was OK and horny till they started to melt and the hard shells broke up and made it feel like was fucking broken glass - ouch - took ages to clean all the melted choc out of her pussy too- lol.
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
Well where to start!!! I have quite an extensive list of bizarre things, including the butternut squash
Cucumbers, corn on the cob, heels of shoes, my personal favourite............ Ma's fist!! :D
As for my ass, I think the steel candle holders were the best, they still sit on my shelf now!! lol Always makes me giggle if someone picks them up |
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By *ibrosMan
over a year ago
harrow |
"Hubby is boring on this front but I love having different things up me, spay canisters hair brushes, torches, bottles food anything. I would love to go to a meet of people like minded."
Is this a variation on a byob party? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We thought of you while out bed shopping this afternoon...we saw the biggest knob on the end of the bed you have ever seen....do you want us to tell you which shop it is? "
lmao! Nooooo, I've learned my lesson from that little escapade! I can't even look at a bedpost now without crossing my legs lol |
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Tried a variety of things up my bum over the years :-
bedpost, various toys designed for the job, fist, bottle, jar, can, apple, orange, lemon, ice dildo, cucumber, metal bar from weights, swizzel cocktail stick.
The one thing I learnt is the best ones are the ones designed for the job.
Just watched one man, one jar, cautionary tale if ever there was one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my wife is a nurse,and has some very funny stories,the most dangerous one was ,one lady had being inserting the handle of a crystel bell inside her bum and the shaft broke just as it was into the hilt, it took more than a houre to get it out as it had worked its way right in,so be carfull.for some reason pingpong balls ,"
my first ex hubby  worked in A&E and some of the stories he used to come home with was great
There was once a guy with the little digital clock you used to get on gear sticks stuck up his arse
The funniest bits was the stories they came out with of how they got there rather than the fact they was there in the first place |
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
"Well where to start!!! I have quite an extensive list of bizarre things, including the butternut squash
Cucumbers, corn on the cob, heels of shoes, my personal favourite............ Ma's fist!! :D
As for my ass, I think the steel candle holders were the best, they still sit on my shelf now!! lol Always makes me giggle if someone picks them up "
Now have to add screw driver handle to the list |
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"It's not a strange item but we put ice cubes up mrs2 fanny , then we have sex before they melt.
mmmmmmmmmmmm fantastic feeling "
We've done that too!
Felt very strange for both of us, plus when he pulled out it propelled a jet of still-quite-cold water everywhere!
Worth a try for the sensation, but would recommend taking care on the exit.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A carrot in my bottom was fun.
Once eased a wooden spoon handle into an ex's pussy. On another occasion, I shagged the same ex while she had her tampon in. Retrieving it afterwards was eye-watering. |
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its not good is it 