 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
For me, it's all about quality rather than quantity. I would rather no person than the wrong person. So getting to know someone, developing rapport nd feeling safe are all good. However, during that time, with life getting in the way and people being fickle as they are, contact can stop/fizzle for a great many reasons, none of which need to be taking personally, so you end up feeling let down.
Spontaneity on the the other hand feels less like military operation, striking while the iron is hot and all that jazz. BUT reduces your pool of potentials and possibly attracts the wrong person who just has a hard-on and is indiscriminate about using it. Also has the potential to make you feel like a prize cow at the market - up for the highest bidder.
Thoughts and experiences on both please. Ta. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me, it's all about quality rather than quantity. I would rather no person than the wrong person. So getting to know someone, developing rapport nd feeling safe are all good. However, during that time, with life getting in the way and people being fickle as they are, contact can stop/fizzle for a great many reasons, none of which need to be taking personally, so you end up feeling let down.
Spontaneity on the the other hand feels less like military operation, striking while the iron is hot and all that jazz. BUT reduces your pool of potentials and possibly attracts the wrong person who just has a hard-on and is indiscriminate about using it. Also has the potential to make you feel like a prize cow at the market - up for the highest bidder.
Thoughts and experiences on both please. Ta."
My husband meets as a single guy as well so we see things from both sides. Quality is important but unfortunately, a fair number of couples play games, cancel at short notice or for fickle reasons (e.g. misinterpretation of something written in a text) and frequently don't give the respect TO the single guy that they demand FROM the single guy. A lot of couples are all talk, no action, and a colossal waste of time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I think with a couple, you've almost double the chance of a let down as there's 2 of them to potentially change their minds or have a dispute about something. Single guys are perhaps more.well known for deliberately being all mouth and no trousers but at least there's only one of them to let you down |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We joined the site to meet and have fun with like minded folk .
Pretty soon we realised that there are at least as many time wasters as genuine people on here , so we went down the spontaneous route . Strike while the iron is hot as you put it . And that worked out well . The only let downs were the meets that were on the back burner , the ones that took loads of planning etc.... so we didn’t bother with that after a while . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We joined the site to meet and have fun with like minded folk .
Pretty soon we realised that there are at least as many time wasters as genuine people on here , so we went down the spontaneous route . Strike while the iron is hot as you put it . And that worked out well . The only let downs were the meets that were on the back burner , the ones that took loads of planning etc.... so we didn’t bother with that after a while ."
Thanks for that, I'm glad it's working out for you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I struggle with Quick meets. I know next to nothing about the person. They may be beautiful on the outside, but what I consider a monster on the inside.
Went on a date on PoF with someone who turned out to be what I'd consider verging on Right wing extremism. Never seen a beautiful woman turn ugly so fast.
I'd be mortified if I gave pleasure to someone like that.
May sound like a load of bollocks to paint myself in a positive light. It's the truth though. That's why I'm prepared to put in the ground work with the right people. Risk that fizzle out.. it may sizzle back on again at a later date. If not, no harm done. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I struggle with Quick meets. I know next to nothing about the person. They may be beautiful on the outside, but what I consider a monster on the inside.
Went on a date on PoF with someone who turned out to be what I'd consider verging on Right wing extremism. Never seen a beautiful woman turn ugly so fast.
I'd be mortified if I gave pleasure to someone like that.
May sound like a load of bollocks to paint myself in a positive light. It's the truth though. That's why I'm prepared to put in the ground work with the right people. Risk that fizzle out.. it may sizzle back on again at a later date. If not, no harm done."
I think this is why we are eternally glad we have only ever swung as a couple .
We don’t care if the people we play with are right wing , left wing , centre or any leaning at all . What’s more we don’t know from all our meets what they were politically , what jobs they did , how many kids etc.....
For us it was always about meeting people with a similar sexual outlook , and only about the sex . We have all the rest outside swinging . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I struggle with Quick meets. I know next to nothing about the person. They may be beautiful on the outside, but what I consider a monster on the inside.
Went on a date on PoF with someone who turned out to be what I'd consider verging on Right wing extremism. Never seen a beautiful woman turn ugly so fast.
I'd be mortified if I gave pleasure to someone like that.
May sound like a load of bollocks to paint myself in a positive light. It's the truth though. That's why I'm prepared to put in the ground work with the right people. Risk that fizzle out.. it may sizzle back on again at a later date. If not, no harm done.
I think this is why we are eternally glad we have only ever swung as a couple .
We don’t care if the people we play with are right wing , left wing , centre or any leaning at all . What’s more we don’t know from all our meets what they were politically , what jobs they did , how many kids etc.....
For us it was always about meeting people with a similar sexual outlook , and only about the sex . We have all the rest outside swinging ."
I'd feel exactly the same way in a couple. It's nice we're all different though, it'd be boring if we were all the same.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I struggle with Quick meets. I know next to nothing about the person. They may be beautiful on the outside, but what I consider a monster on the inside.
Went on a date on PoF with someone who turned out to be what I'd consider verging on Right wing extremism. Never seen a beautiful woman turn ugly so fast.
I'd be mortified if I gave pleasure to someone like that.
May sound like a load of bollocks to paint myself in a positive light. It's the truth though. That's why I'm prepared to put in the ground work with the right people. Risk that fizzle out.. it may sizzle back on again at a later date. If not, no harm done.
I think this is why we are eternally glad we have only ever swung as a couple .
We don’t care if the people we play with are right wing , left wing , centre or any leaning at all . What’s more we don’t know from all our meets what they were politically , what jobs they did , how many kids etc.....
For us it was always about meeting people with a similar sexual outlook , and only about the sex . We have all the rest outside swinging .
I'd feel exactly the same way in a couple. It's nice we're all different though, it'd be boring if we were all the same. "
Absolutely agree with that  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If spontaneous meets are what all parties want its all good.
If getting in to a mini relationship is what all parties want its all good.
Ultimately most encounters on here are between people who only know each other on a fairly shallow level. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
