FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is it racist?

Is it racist?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just putting it out there and realise by doing so this could be one of those divisive debates, as if we don't already have enough of them etc..

However in every walk of society, whether that be job description, employment generally, selling a house, advertising for a tenant , society has moved on from racial bars , and racial bias, albeit superficially in some cases.

You know where I'm going with this…. is it therefore racist for instance for a Black woman to say " Sorry no white men" Or for a white woman or couple to say " Sorry No Blacks or Asians " ? Because isn't this prejudging and therefore prejudicing every Black, white or asian, as a collective rather than as the individuals they are ? Often the people saying this have not actually had an experience with the people they've decided to bar, they just don't like them. Please discuss.. I won't judge I promise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When it comes to having sex , I don’t find it racist to not want to sleep with someone from a different race....

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By *lik and PaulCouple over a year ago

cahoots

No I don't think so...in every walk of life people use labels when they don't agree with something or someone...I wouldn't let it bother you.

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By *uttyandbeeCouple over a year ago

Leeds

It's down to personal choice on here. If you have preferences regarding race colour creed and gender it's up to you

But if Club or businesses advertised there would be restrictions regarding the aforementioned it would be illegal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s a massive topic.

It’s true there is a lot of prejudging which is sad.

What is worrying is that there are many events which have profiles which are extremely prejudicial. Which only exclude one race only.

I suspect this would cause resentment and frustration at being excluded.

Many people don’t understand the difference between preference and outright discrimination.

All I am saying is that we need more love in this world and less hate.

Maybe just maybe we can learn to truly inclusive community

Peace and love to all!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It’s a massive topic.

It’s true there is a lot of prejudging which is sad.

What is worrying is that there are many events which have profiles which are extremely prejudicial. Which only exclude one race only.

I suspect this would cause resentment and frustration at being excluded.

Many people don’t understand the difference between preference and outright discrimination.

All I am saying is that we need more love in this world and less hate.

Maybe just maybe we can learn to truly inclusive community

Peace and love to all! "

Brilliantly summarised. And thank you for your contribution to this debate

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No I don't think so...in every walk of life people use labels when they don't agree with something or someone...I wouldn't let it bother you."

It's not bothering me as such as I've yet to approach an asian or any other hue, and been turned away, however it does beg the question, is excluding anyone down to the colour of their skin, racist? Especially if you've never had any experience of dating/ having sex with, or possibly even having a conversation with .. the excluded ?

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By *humper9erMan over a year ago

Rocklin

Why is it prejudging when some one wants to only be with another person from their own race? How is that racist? Now, if a guy, or couple, say that Blacks or Mexicans, etc., are not welcomed, then there might be an issue. I've seen black women who wont give 2 seconds to any white guy. Why isn't she called a racist?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think people tend to misconstrue racism and discrimination..... I’ll try to help

If someone doesn’t want to sleep with me because I’m black doesn’t make them racist....

They will still live next to me , we can still work together, and our children can still play together.... they just choose to exclude me from their sex life....

Just in the same context if someone doesn’t want to eat Sushi, it doesn’t mean they hate all Japanese food....

I personally think racism gets banned around far to much on these forums... usually by black and asian men that feel excluded....

but what people don’t realize is for every ying there is a yang...

So if 50 couples say whites only , there will always be 50 couples that want black only...

So the universe is kept in balance....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not racist. If people don't want to fuck someone they don't have to. Whatever the reason.

If sex events are excluding groups of people that's ok. I see no issue with BMFC, BBW, Killing Kittens etc type events.

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By *am62Woman over a year ago

Bristol

Could someone please tell me the difference between black and white apart from colour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Could someone please tell me the difference between black and white apart from colour. "

Mainly facial features.

Not all cases but main majority.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No dnt think it’s racist at all... if you have a preference to who you want to be intimate with when having sex how can that be racist, it’s like me saying I prefer white toast over brown... it’s down to taste and what you want xx

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By *am62Woman over a year ago

Bristol

Facial features, but they have the same faces as white people. Don't understand that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Facial features, but they have the same faces as white people. Don't understand that. "

You might be over thinking this a little.....

Black people usually have broader noses , darker skin and darker eyes....

White people usually have liter skin , straighter noses , and lighter colored eyes....

If a person likes lighter features and green/blue eyes they tend to go for white or mixed raced guys....

If a person prefers darker features they will go for black guys...

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By *irty doggXXXMan over a year ago

Milton keynes

It's not racist for people to only want to be intimate with people of their own race is it!? No! So this is a stupid debate and should be deleted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's not racist for people to only want to be intimate with people of their own race is it!? No! So this is a stupid debate and should be deleted. "

No , it’s actually good to have a debate...

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By *ara JTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol East

Unless you know the motivation of the person, it is hard to tell (but easy to pre-judge).

On the face of it, it appears discriminatory based on racial characteristics.

On the other hand, if they only want straight sex, does that make them homophobic?

No, of course not.

Sex is such an up-close-and-personal thing that i do not think you can compare it with, say, selling cakes in a shop and refusing to serve people of this variety or that variety.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

As far as I can see when it comes to intimacy and the use of your body you should have complete authority, no body else. Neither should you be made to feel your wrong to control how you use your body or be pressured into doing something your not happy with. Maybe your reasons of attraction are based in some kind of racism but when it comes to your body I don't think you should have to answer to anyone.

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By *am62Woman over a year ago

Bristol

I've seen white people with huge noses lol freckled faces, I'm not saying it's a racist topic, just that we are all the same really, each to their own, but it should be the person you are and not looks or colour. It's like this title BBW or SSBBW it's rubbish, you're either small, built, medium or large.we all have our preferences, but couldn't they be described in a better way. I'm a big lady not a BBW lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've seen white people with huge noses lol freckled faces, I'm not saying it's a racist topic, just that we are all the same really, each to their own, but it should be the person you are and not looks or colour. It's like this title BBW or SSBBW it's rubbish, you're either small, built, medium or large.we all have our preferences, but couldn't they be described in a better way. I'm a big lady not a BBW lol. "

Yes you’re right.... but that is a perfect world... unfortunately Fab is not a perfect world...

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By *am62Woman over a year ago

Bristol

And what a boring world it would be if we all looked the same.Black,white,thin,fat,ugly,pretty,big azz small azz, gay, not gay, us humans make the world go round. Imagine looking at someone and see yaself staring back at you lol

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman over a year ago

London

The person may well be racist. Or maybe just have a strong preference. Are we here to read minds?

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By *ablo minibar123Woman over a year ago

"Unless you know the motivation of the person, it is hard to tell (but easy to pre-judge).

On the face of it, it appears discriminatory based on racial characteristics.

On the other hand, if they only want straight sex, does that make them homophobic?

No, of course not.

Sex is such an up-close-and-personal thing that i do not think you can compare it with, say, selling cakes in a shop and refusing to serve people of this variety or that variety.

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By *.H.SMan over a year ago

London

nope every1 has there own preference its life!!

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By *pertureTV/TS over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies

I dont have any colour preferences so not sure i get why people do it, the only hard no for me is idiots, and they come in every colour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As far as I can see when it comes to intimacy and the use of your body you should have complete authority, no body else. Neither should you be made to feel your wrong to control how you use your body or be pressured into doing something your not happy with. Maybe your reasons of attraction are based in some kind of racism but when it comes to your body I don't think you should have to answer to anyone. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's called " personal choice"

Same as people have age ranges i.e 25-40.

Are they agesit?

Or people that don't meet people who are not the body type they find attractive.

Or people who state " people taller than me"

We are all attracted to differnt attributes for our own reasons.

As we said at the start of our post.

Personal choice is the right of every human being.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't know if it's racist but few times we get this from some cpls where the wife doesn't like me but the man likes my Mrs, purely based on our race.

Usual message we get " Sorry , my wife is not into Asian men but I love indian women and happy to meet them"

We just say sorry and my move on .

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Unless you know the motivation of the person, it is hard to tell (but easy to pre-judge).

On the face of it, it appears discriminatory based on racial characteristics.

On the other hand, if they only want straight sex, does that make them homophobic?

No, of course not.

Sex is such an up-close-and-personal thing that i do not think you can compare it with, say, selling cakes in a shop and refusing to serve people of this variety or that variety.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I dont have any colour preferences so not sure i get why people do it, the only hard no for me is idiots, and they come in every colour."

I also don't have any colour preferences but understand that others may and I think that's fine.

I couldn't agree more idiots come in every colour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This topic bores me. You will have no idea why someone puts up not wanting to sleep with a person of a specific skin colour it could be racially motivated or it could they aren't sexually attracted to people of x skin colour. You aren't going to fuck them so it doesn't matter. Unfab their pics and move on to another profile.

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By *abriellajackCouple over a year ago

Newport

I think people are looking for controversy where there really isn't any on this occasion.

As people have already said....personal preference is a right we all have when it comes to who we decide to have sex with.

It doesn't make you racist if you don't find people from a particular ethnic background attractive.

Just like the numerous profiles saying "BBC only" aren't racist either. It's just what they are looking for. The appeal of fab for many is that they can choose certain physical characteristics they find attractive and hone their search based on them.

Racism absolutely still exists in certain forms and there is no place for it....but this isn't an example of it. Society's need to feel outraged and challenge everything is actually what causes a lot of resentment and anger when there really doesn't need to be any.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think people are looking for controversy where there really isn't any on this occasion.

As people have already said....personal preference is a right we all have when it comes to who we decide to have sex with.

It doesn't make you racist if you don't find people from a particular ethnic background attractive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Often the people saying this have not actually had an experience with the people they've decided to bar, they just don't like them. Please discuss.. I won't judge I promise.

How do you know they have had no actual experience with persons of a certain colour or race?

Isn't that you judging already?

We can't all be attracted to everybody.Theres someone on fab for everyone,not everyone for someone.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I think people are looking for controversy where there really isn't any on this occasion.

As people have already said....personal preference is a right we all have when it comes to who we decide to have sex with.

It doesn't make you racist if you don't find people from a particular ethnic background attractive.

Well put

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it boils down to why they have the preference.

Have been fortunate enough to have had sex with people who are from different parts of the world and there have been differences: skin texture, smell, bone structure, size of different body parts, facial features. For me the differences were to be celebrated and enjoyed mutually, for others it may lead to not being attracted. That would be preference.

Others base their preferences on previous personal experiences and stories. This may also create genuine preferences. However some will undoubtedly be based on prejudice.

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By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

"This topic bores me. You will have no idea why someone puts up not wanting to sleep with a person of a specific skin colour it could be racially motivated or it could they aren't sexually attracted to people of x skin colour. You aren't going to fuck them so it doesn't matter. Unfab their pics and move on to another profile."

Why unfab their pics? They're just pics. We fab pics because we like them, their preferences of who to meet play zero part of that for us.

Personally we don't get it. We couldn't rule out a race as it's inconceivable to us that we wouldn't find someone attractive from a certain race, but that's just us.

We get a preference as that indicates there will be a majority of said race they play with, but we see many profiles that say preference when infact they mean entirely excluding, which is very different and their choice of course. Are they racist? No idea, unless it's blatantly obvious it's very hard to tell, either way we'll put our efforts into those we match up with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm sorry to say it, but there is a LOT of racism and many other isms on display here in Fab. Just a sad reflection of our society.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This has been done a million times on here, some think it is some think it isn't.

We aren't colour blind but we also think it's peoples preference not racism that decides who they fuck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah it’s racist. People say it’s preference. But explicitly writing that you don’t like a whole group of people isn’t preference.

Preference is all about what you PREFER. It’s meant to be a positive. Not about what you dislike or who you exclude.

For example - “I like Asian women” is a preference. “No black people” is racist.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah it’s racist. People say it’s preference. But explicitly writing that you don’t like a whole group of people isn’t preference.

Preference is all about what you PREFER. It’s meant to be a positive. Not about what you dislike or who you exclude.

For example - “I like Asian women” is a preference. “No black people” is racist."

Liked your point of view

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

I see two seperate arguments here that are being mixed:

Racism (however internallised) and ones right to have sex with whoever they want without having to answer or be judged.

And of course to what extent do we beat people for being a product of their enviroment and life experiance?

Someone earlier made a good point. To be straight and not want to have sex with someone of the same sex doesn't make you homophobic per se. I think when it comes to fab you should be able to decide who you want to sleep with based on your attraction without judgement or pressure. For me this is golden. We don't all have to agree or like the same things but a tollerance and respect for each other's sexual preferences and how they use their body for me is a cornerstone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just putting it out there and realise by doing so this could be one of those divisive debates, as if we don't already have enough of them etc..

The western idea of racism is simply cultural guilt left from imperialistic days. To say you are not attracted to a specific type is preference. I'm simply not attracted to Eskimos.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I respect people of different skin colour, more than happy to work with them or socialise. But when it comes to intimacy, I'm sorry, I don't want to be touched by them, same as I wouldn't want to be touched by white guys sporting a long beard, for example. If it makes me racist, so be it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I respect people of different skin colour, more than happy to work with them or socialise. But when it comes to intimacy, I'm sorry, I don't want to be touched by them, same as I wouldn't want to be touched by white guys sporting a long beard, for example. If it makes me racist, so be it!"

Beardist

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No a lot of couples and single ladies have a right to say who they want to meet. My experience with some Asian and Eastern European’s guys is they have no repect I know when I go to clubs so don’t understand no and don’t like it when a couple or single lady say no, I am not saying they are all like that but repect is a big part of swinging

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

No it's not racist, it's who you find sexually attractive

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By *dores blackmenWoman over a year ago

incognito mode ;-)

"Yeah it’s racist. People say it’s preference. But explicitly writing that you don’t like a whole group of people isn’t preference.

Preference is all about what you PREFER. It’s meant to be a positive. Not about what you dislike or who you exclude.

For example - “I like Asian women” is a preference. “No black people” is racist."

My profile name gives away the guys I like to meet,I've never felt the need to write no whitemen,it's all about my preference,not about who I exclude,so I'm always positive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Racism isn't always obvious either, sometimes it's disguised as a Fetish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes it does make you racist. Especially with wording like “happy to work with them” and “I don’t want to be touched by them”.

“Them” !? People with different colour skin aren’t aliens. I wholly agree that we all have types. And I respect yours and anyone else’s right to have a type. But to completely dismiss 60% of the world without consideration purely because of skin tone is deffo racist. And to state you’re “happy socialising with ‘them’ ” as if its any different to hanging out with anyone else?

Wow. Smh. I’m shocked. I don’t like being rude to women but you’re an idiot.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

It's not racist to have a preference, I just think it's a bit ignorant to have it emblazoned all over your profile, just delete messages from the people you're not into.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No its about desire i dont for example like a lot of the fetures of litino birds

So the likes of jlo and all that i just dont find attractive steriotype or not its not racist its about my personal wants same with most asian women

Its my preference to be able to choose who i want to gift the power of my presence and my mystical orgasmic powers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The motivation behind a particular preference and how it is articulated is the issue, rather than the preference itself.

Hypothetical scenario:

A white woman, states she will only meet black men. Not racist in the slightest.

However, what she doesn't say is that in her head she sees herself as a Colonial Lady that is deflowered by a slave. That is incredibly racist in motivation.

Another hypothetical scenario:

An Asian male will only meet white women. Not racist.

In his head is the notion that Asian women are pure and that white women are there to be used as prostitutes.

Before you slate me, these are hypothetical situations and I don't believe for one minute that people on Fab think that way.

Racists will be racists, but not every preference is racist.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not racist everybody has a type they fancy and that they dont be that fat thin black white asian just personal choice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not racist everybody has a type they fancy and that they dont be that fat thin black white asian just personal choice "

Personal choice is cool. But there’s a big difference between making a choice, and being offensive. That’s what annoys me.

I’m fairly lucky in some respects because I don’t experience much discrimination but it absolutely makes my blood boil when I see profiles with discriminatory statements against minorities (usually against Asian guys). And I see that really often.

You can have a “preference” without having to openly discriminate and offend. I’ve turned down many meets with couples I’ve found attractive because of “no Asians” written in they’re profile. I’m not Asian myself but I still think it’s a cuntish thing to write.

Also, definition of racism deffo applies to many in this thread

“the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ignore the typos. I’m tired

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's not racist for people to only want to be intimate with people of their own race is it!? No! So this is a stupid debate and should be deleted. "

Um yes that’s the definition of racism

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By *etite HandfulWoman over a year ago

Chester

If it is then is straight men not wanting to get ass fucked by another guy is homophobic?

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By *urhamlad1975Man over a year ago

Co.Durham

It's normally just ladies who ask for BBC

You don't see many men asking for a specific colour of genitals.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Ask Liam Neeson

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not racist everybody has a type they fancy and that they dont be that fat thin black white asian just personal choice

Personal choice is cool. But there’s a big difference between making a choice, and being offensive. That’s what annoys me.

Also, definition of racism deffo applies to many in this thread

Absolutely. Intelligent contribution. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Next time we down south and we hand over a scottish ten or twenty pound note and are told, "sorry we don't take them"

We straight on the phone to the cops screaming racist

And fyi scottish notes are legal tender in uk and also abroad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Next time we down south and we hand over a scottish ten or twenty pound note and are told, "sorry we don't take them"

We straight on the phone to the cops screaming racist

And fyi scottish notes are legal tender in uk and also abroad

Scottish (And N. Irish notes) are not legal tender, even in Scotland. However they are Legal Currency.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Next time we down south and we hand over a scottish ten or twenty pound note and are told, "sorry we don't take them"

We straight on the phone to the cops screaming racist

And fyi scottish notes are legal tender in uk and also abroad

Scottish (And N. Irish notes) are not legal tender, even in Scotland. However they are Legal Currency."

We scottish, we call everything tender

and yep we know its legal currency,pity 80% of english shops don't

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Next time we down south and we hand over a scottish ten or twenty pound note and are told, "sorry we don't take them"

We straight on the phone to the cops screaming racist

And fyi scottish notes are legal tender in uk and also abroad

Scottish (And N. Irish notes) are not legal tender, even in Scotland. However they are Legal Currency.

We scottish, we call everything tender

and yep we know its legal currency,pity 80% of english shops don't

I purposely stockpile Danske Bank notes and always allow an extra 30 minutes at the till to allow for the Duty Manager to ring head office for confirmation I'm not printing them at home

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman over a year ago

London

"It's not racist to have a preference, I just think it's a bit ignorant to have it emblazoned all over your profile, just delete messages from the people you're not into. "

Believe me, those you are not into will still chance it even if it is stamped across each one of your pictures. However, there will thankfully be fewer of them if you are clear about your preferences.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

An addon to our scottish notes is.

That,english notes are not legal tender in scotland, although we have never saw any scottish shops refusing to accept them as the shops in england do.

Is that cos we scottish and don't care, just give us the money.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"An addon to our scottish notes is.

That,english notes are not legal tender in scotland, although we have never saw any scottish shops refusing to accept them as the shops in england do.

Is that cos we scottish and don't care, just give us the money.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not racist just preference!

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By *ohn Wilson96Man over a year ago

from inside your wardrobe

My favourite jelly babies are the black ones, I love chocolate and liquorice but I hate white chocolate...... does that make me racist too

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Just putting it out there and realise by doing so this could be one of those divisive debates, as if we don't already have enough of them etc..

The real question would be WHY certain ethnic types are dismissed instead of using attractiveness or preference as a get out clause

Because a cock is a cock weather white or brown, same for a vagina.

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By *orthyorkypairCouple over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"No I don't think so...in every walk of life people use labels when they don't agree with something or someone...I wouldn't let it bother you.

No its not racist its personal choice just the same as saying no smokers, only straight people etc, the "racist card" tends to get played in here too much, and usually these forum posts descend into a slagging match with admin having to step in

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By *orthyorkypairCouple over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"My favourite jelly babies are the black ones, I love chocolate and liquorice but I hate white chocolate...... does that make me racist too"

no it makes you same as mrnorthy lol

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By *imited 3EditionCouple over a year ago

Live in Scotland Play in England

"I see two seperate arguments here that are being mixed:

Racism (however internallised) and ones right to have sex with whoever they want without having to answer or be judged.

And of course to what extent do we beat people for being a product of their enviroment and life experiance?

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple over a year ago

manchester

Watch a great film the other day called 'the green book' set in 40s America based on a true story I'd highly recommend it. Now as for racism here on fab I'd say its one the the places black guys do really well as its high up on the fantasy list for couples and females and let's face it we are all here to tick some fantasys off.

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By *ood girl2010Couple over a year ago

crewe

"It’s a massive topic.

It’s true there is a lot of prejudging which is sad.

What is worrying is that there are many events which have profiles which are extremely prejudicial. Which only exclude one race only.

I suspect this would cause resentment and frustration at being excluded.

Many people don’t understand the difference between preference and outright discrimination.

All I am saying is that we need more love in this world and less hate.

Maybe just maybe we can learn to truly inclusive community

Peace and love to all!

Brilliantly summarised. And thank you for your contribution to this debate

there is a lot of things you cant say as you will be raciest but yet every one can say bbc that's not but call some one black while out and you are can some one work this one out for me

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"Not racist everybody has a type they fancy and that they dont be that fat thin black white asian just personal choice

Personal choice is cool. But there’s a big difference between making a choice, and being offensive. That’s what annoys me.

Also, definition of racism deffo applies to many in this thread

What always gets me is that people don't seem to grasp that a "personal choice" or "preference" can be racist.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Not racist everybody has a type they fancy and that they dont be that fat thin black white asian just personal choice

Personal choice is cool. But there’s a big difference between making a choice, and being offensive. That’s what annoys me.

Also, definition of racism deffo applies to many in this thread

What always gets me is that people don't seem to grasp that a "personal choice" or "preference" can be racist.

Everyone is entitled to refuse sex with anyone on whatever ground. You can be as racist as you like when it comes to deciding who you have sex with, but let's not deny that there is often racism involved. "
So I would fuck a black woman and Latino etc but I don't find Asian women attractive. That is racist?

Even if I have no problem with them etc. You can't help what you're attracted to.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"Not racist everybody has a type they fancy and that they dont be that fat thin black white asian just personal choice

Personal choice is cool. But there’s a big difference between making a choice, and being offensive. That’s what annoys me.

Also, definition of racism deffo applies to many in this thread

What always gets me is that people don't seem to grasp that a "personal choice" or "preference" can be racist.

Everyone is entitled to refuse sex with anyone on whatever ground. You can be as racist as you like when it comes to deciding who you have sex with, but let's not deny that there is often racism involved. So I would fuck a black woman and Latino etc but I don't find Asian women attractive. That is racist?

Even if I have no problem with them etc. You can't help what you're attracted to."

It may be. It's entirely possible to have racist attitudes to one racial group and not others.

See the definition of racism quoted above.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Not racist everybody has a type they fancy and that they dont be that fat thin black white asian just personal choice

Personal choice is cool. But there’s a big difference between making a choice, and being offensive. That’s what annoys me.

Also, definition of racism deffo applies to many in this thread

What always gets me is that people don't seem to grasp that a "personal choice" or "preference" can be racist.

Everyone is entitled to refuse sex with anyone on whatever ground. You can be as racist as you like when it comes to deciding who you have sex with, but let's not deny that there is often racism involved. So I would fuck a black woman and Latino etc but I don't find Asian women attractive. That is racist?

Even if I have no problem with them etc. You can't help what you're attracted to.

It may be. It's entirely possible to have racist attitudes to one racial group and not others.

See the definition of racism quoted above. "
Well it's not, I know the definition of racism.

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By *cottish guy 555Man over a year ago

London

There is only one race, the human race

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes it does make you racist. Especially with wording like “happy to work with them” and “I don’t want to be touched by them”.

Wow. Smh. I’m shocked. I don’t like being rude to women but you’re an idiot.

Thank you for totally slaughtering me for expressing my opinion and my racial preference when it comes to intimacy.

'Them' was not used in derogatory meaning, like you read it, it was just a pronoun used to avoid repeatedly using the expression 'people of different skin colour'.

Any bearded white men want to call me an idiot just because I wouldn't meet them intimately?

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By *arkmanMan over a year ago

hounslow

I don’t think it is all racist, rather personal preference. Some people are just not attracted to difference, or feel safe with what they know, or may have had a bad experience that has put them off.

Admittedly, some of it may be racist, but these days I believe we are generally more experimental sexually than ever before.

If I said ‘no men’ in my profile, would that make me or anyone else expressing the same preference homophobic?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This has been done a million times on here, some think it is some think it isn't.

We aren't colour blind but we also think it's peoples preference not racism that decides who they fuck."

Very well said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't live in a post racial society.

Racial preferences, even and especially sexual, are informed by racial bias. People choose not to acknowledge that - that is privilege.

White men seeking Asian women is on par with White women seeking Black men - it's racist. Black men seeking non Black women is racist. Whether you're fetishising or excluding, it is racism. A White woman only seeking Black men, and refusing to speak to White men is racist towards Black men.

You have to look at the power balance and systematic oppression here.

And racist is not a slur. It's a chance for you to challenge your beliefs and prejudices.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"We don't live in a post racial society.

Racial preferences, even and especially sexual, are informed by racial bias. People choose not to acknowledge that - that is privilege.

You have to look at the power balance and systematic oppression here.

And racist is not a slur. It's a chance for you to challenge your beliefs and prejudices.

"
That shit doesn't add up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah it’s racist. People say it’s preference. But explicitly writing that you don’t like a whole group of people isn’t preference.

Preference is all about what you PREFER. It’s meant to be a positive. Not about what you dislike or who you exclude.

For example - “I like Asian women” is a preference. “No black people” is racist."

Totally agree.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are thousands of profiles that state "no single males" and not just couples either but both male and female have the abive statment.

What do we call them?

We think it's to easy nowadays to "play the racist card" because some one or something has upset them.

As we have said before it's every human being's right to have a freedom of choice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We don't live in a post racial society.

Racial preferences, even and especially sexual, are informed by racial bias. People choose not to acknowledge that - that is privilege.

You have to look at the power balance and systematic oppression here.

And racist is not a slur. It's a chance for you to challenge your beliefs and prejudices.

That shit doesn't add up."

White man doesn't understand racism, but is the actual cause of racism. You actually just don't want to understand it. The whole world is dealing with the effects of White supremacy.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"We don't live in a post racial society.

Racial preferences, even and especially sexual, are informed by racial bias. People choose not to acknowledge that - that is privilege.

You have to look at the power balance and systematic oppression here.

And racist is not a slur. It's a chance for you to challenge your beliefs and prejudices.

That shit doesn't add up.

White man doesn't understand racism, but is the actual cause of racism. You actually just don't want to understand it. The whole world is dealing with the effects of White supremacy."
That sounds like reverse racism to me. Big Donald Trump fan then?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We don't live in a post racial society.

Racial preferences, even and especially sexual, are informed by racial bias. People choose not to acknowledge that - that is privilege.

You have to look at the power balance and systematic oppression here.

And racist is not a slur. It's a chance for you to challenge your beliefs and prejudices.

That shit doesn't add up.

White man doesn't understand racism, but is the actual cause of racism. You actually just don't want to understand it. The whole world is dealing with the effects of White supremacy. That sounds like reverse racism to me. Big Donald Trump fan then?

Oh dear, reverse racism. There is no such thing. There is either racism or their isn't. I'm not taking cues from White men. Kindly go and educate yourself because you seem kind of fragile.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"We don't live in a post racial society.

Racial preferences, even and especially sexual, are informed by racial bias. People choose not to acknowledge that - that is privilege.

You have to look at the power balance and systematic oppression here.

And racist is not a slur. It's a chance for you to challenge your beliefs and prejudices.

That shit doesn't add up.

White man doesn't understand racism, but is the actual cause of racism. You actually just don't want to understand it. The whole world is dealing with the effects of White supremacy. That sounds like reverse racism to me. Big Donald Trump fan then?

Oh dear, reverse racism. There is no such thing. There is either racism or their isn't. I'm not taking cues from White men. Kindly go and educate yourself because you seem kind of fragile."

You are a perfect example of it. Moi fragile?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No I don’t think so we all have our preferences why should not wanting to shag someone be racist imagine having the police at your door saying that you’ve got to shag someone or else you’ll get done

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"No I don’t think so we all have our preferences why should not wanting to shag someone be racist imagine having the police at your door saying that you’ve got to shag someone or else you’ll get done "
These radical left wingers will want that as legislation soon.

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By *orksCouple25Couple over a year ago

Leeds

The general view in the comments above is that a sexual preference isn’t racism but when that guy Max Mosley ( head of the motorsports governing organisation) had a sexual preference ie dressing up as a Nazi while having sex he was called a racist as well as a pervert.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I dont have any colour preferences so not sure i get why people do it, the only hard no for me is idiots, and they come in every colour."

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By *orthyorkypairCouple over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"The general view in the comments above is that a sexual preference isn’t racism but when that guy Max Mosley ( head of the motorsports governing organisation) had a sexual preference ie dressing up as a Nazi while having sex he was called a racist as well as a pervert."

There was of course more to mr Mosleys background regarding his far right wing views though!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seem to remember prince harry dressing up as a nazi, but he wasn't called a racist i don't think?

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By *ebjonnsonMan over a year ago

Maldon

"I think people tend to misconstrue racism and discrimination..... I’ll try to help

If someone doesn’t want to sleep with me because I’m black doesn’t make them racist....

They will still live next to me , we can still work together, and our children can still play together.... they just choose to exclude me from their sex life....

Just in the same context if someone doesn’t want to eat Sushi, it doesn’t mean they hate all Japanese food....

I personally think racism gets banned around far to much on these forums... usually by black and asian men that feel excluded....

but what people don’t realize is for every ying there is a yang...

So if 50 couples say whites only , there will always be 50 couples that want black only...

So the universe is kept in balance...."

Brilliant. Well said. I think it probably gets bandied around more by pretentious white people thinking they are doing good.

I am available and willing to date women of any race, colour, religion, age. Even white women, despite having met a few dodgy ones along the way.

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By *ornylittlesubWoman over a year ago

Grangemouth

Some of the utter crap said in these threads(the racism v preference ones) is just beyond belief.

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By *uracell-DannyMan over a year ago

Leicester

Might be better to class it as discrimination...rather than racist...discrimination can be positive and negative.

Some people's taste change and evolve...some do not

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By *hortieWoman over a year ago

Northampton

No.

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By *opinovMan over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

Oh god, this one again.

No more so than it might be sexist of me to say 'no men' because I'm straight... it's just personal preference, nothing more - no need to load it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it’s not a slur it’s purely preference. I don’t like massively hairy bushes.....or green cars.

Lock me up

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By *uracell-DannyMan over a year ago

Leicester

Yes...but what is the foundation of this preference? Ever asked yourself that question?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Must everyone be into everything at the same time and be the same as everyone else? Aren’t we allowed a choice or a ‘type’?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's not racist to have a preference, I just think it's a bit ignorant to have it emblazoned all over your profile, just delete messages from the people you're not into. "

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By *atcoupleCouple over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

"It's not racist to have a preference, I just think it's a bit ignorant to have it emblazoned all over your profile, just delete messages from the people you're not into.

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By *oul BrothaMan over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

"Could someone please tell me the difference between black and white apart from colour. "

Google melanin

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By *oul BrothaMan over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

OP I think you need to understand the quite considerable differences between preference and prejudice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes...but what is the foundation of this preference? Ever asked yourself that question? "
I attempted to address hypothetical situations earlier on but no matter...

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By *exyCouple999Couple over a year ago

South Bucks

"Yes...but what is the foundation of this preference? Ever asked yourself that question? "

The foundation is the human psyche. Next question ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love a good debate and I thank everyone for contributing in this thread without it becoming nasty....

But I can’t get my head around why this topic bothers people so much....

When I see a profile that states , white only or exceptional males only....

I’m very happy because I can block them and never waste my time interacting with them.

I just personally wish people would put this at the beginning of their profiles so people can save time reading...

So the only good thing that can out of this thread is people will put their racial preferences at the beginning of their profiles, to save them from unwanted attention....

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By *OXO2018Couple over a year ago

Norfolk

Personally no, you have to be attracted to the person your gonna play with. We’ve had people say no because I’m fat, but we just think it’s there loss (lol) and move on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been told by a few men on here that I'm a racist. They are obviously those I'm not attracted to.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

When I see a profile that states , white only or exceptional males only....

I’m very happy because I can block them and never waste my time interacting with them.

.."

You are nothing but exceptional in my eyes homie!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t think it is racist to not want to sleep with someone of a particular race, maybe the attraction isn’t there! If it’s deemed as racist then we shouldn’t be allowed to have an age preference because that would be ageist, wouldn’t it ? Or sexist if we block a certain sex?! .........

I believe attraction is a big part of sex/swinging, it’s just preference and we’re entitled to choose what type of person we enjoy some fun with. Without being labelled racist

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think there is an old phrase “ there is no accounting for peoples taste”

And yes people are naturally provocative over race as more than likely its a turn on for them to be so.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When it comes to sex, i see it as preference rather than being racist. People have different attractions. It doesnt mean they wouldn't be friends or have family members who they adore of a different colour. More that they just don't have a sexual attraction.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. It’s not racist

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"When it comes to sex, i see it as preference rather than being racist. People have different attractions. It doesnt mean they wouldn't be friends or have family members who they adore of a different colour. More that they just don't have a sexual attraction. "

Exactly this

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By *hetalkingstoveMan over a year ago

London

Deciding whether something is or isn't racist is far too black and white, excuse the pun.

Some people won't sleep with people of a different skin colour because of purely aesthetic reasons. Some won't do so because of racist reasons.

There isn't a blanket answer.

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By *lceeWoman over a year ago

Leeds

For me, people are either attractive or not - skin colour and gender play no part in it. So I find it difficult to understand how other people feel when faced with a gender or colour that they are not attracted to.

So my gut instinct is to move on from those who have such statements in their profiles as I’m not sure they would get me anyway.

Whether it’s racism? I don’t know. Nobody knows but them. I’ve spoken to several who feel that way that have made derogatory comments about their excluded race and to others for whom, they’ve never met someone of that race that they’ve been sexually attracted to so they would rather reduce the amount of incoming mail.

It’s a case by case basis. I’m not sure we should be worrying about it as they certainly aren’t.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Like anything there are those that will exclude meeting others due to their core beliefs and some of those would be seen as racists. And it all depends on the context behind their choices.

If their reasoning is I will not meet with .......... (Insert) because they are all ........(insert derogatory statement)

Then yep that's racist.

But then there are those that do have a sexual preference.

The issue is that the concept of sexual preference is all ways going to be a minefield of opinions.

If we consider basically itindicates the type of person and/or type of activity with that person that is most likely to provoke sexual interest and arousal.

It is an uneasy concept partly because it is interpreted by some people as implying choice, when in fact we do not choose what we find most sexually arousing.

These preferences can include height size colour gender the list goes on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We need to get the MP's on it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What if it *is* for true racist reasons? So what?

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By *andare63Man over a year ago

oldham

Totally agree. My choices are borne from preference not prejudice or racism

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By *andare63Man over a year ago

oldham

We need to get the MP's on it. "

Ohh please !! And you’d get a straight answer?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it *is* for true racist reasons? So what?"

Exactly, are we gonna start forcing women to have sex with men they don't want to now? If they e not into you then move on

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Interesting points of view so far. Let me ask a question. If your neighbour had their house for sale and you didn't want your new neighbours to be Black or asian, would that then be a preference, or a racist thought?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Interesting points of view so far. Let me ask a question. If your neighbour had their house for sale and you didn't want your new neighbours to be Black or asian, would that then be a preference, or a racist thought? "

That would be racist in my book

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't mind if my neighbours would be black or Asian as I wouldn't have sex with them. That is my preference or a choice if you like. I have friends amongst other races, I just don't get intimate with them as I don't fancy them. Not sure how else to explain it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No because you are not obliged to have sex with someone. A person of race has equal opportunities in law to be offered the same as everybody else. When it comes down to sex it is the individuals body and choices.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I mean in relation to work, healthcare etc.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't mind if my neighbours would be black or Asian as I wouldn't have sex with them. That is my preference or a choice if you like. I have friends amongst other races, I just don't get intimate with them as I don't fancy them. Not sure how else to explain it."

Exactly. No way is it racist. That’s just the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve never found myself attracted to an Asian man and I don’t think I would. Would I go out for a drink and have a coffee? Of course i bloody would. If I ever did find myself attracted to an Asian man would I not bother because he was Asian? Of I’d meet him again. This comes up a lot and it’s ridiculous. I don’t find myself attractive bald men either. As it happens there is one now I’m quite attracted to. It’s my choice!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry didn’t check my grammar and spelling there but you get the gist!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thank lord we can make that choice

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

Is only having sex with one gender sexist?

Stating that not wanting to have sex with someone of a particular skin colour assumes that everybody would have sex with everybody. Start discriminating against others for various reasons, then choose your ‘ist’ but that would be just rediculous.

I don’t meet smokers, the attached or the short. Is that discriminatory or my preference?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Amazes me that this debate is still around and in truth it should be a non-subject. At the end of the day you are attracted to someone or not. If the chemistry isn't there it ain't going to happen. There are beautiful people out there and alas some not so beautiful people. That beauty can be in looks, mind, character etc. I have a preference for beautiful people, simple really unless you want to complicate with prejudices.

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By *iker boy 69Man over a year ago

midlands

"Just putting it out there and realise by doing so this could be one of those divisive debates, as if we don't already have enough of them etc..

How is it racist to have preferences. Some folk dont like large people, some dont like short people. If youre not sexually attracted to a certain colour size or even hair colour then thats that

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Setting upper age limits has got to be ageist. As for saying no 420 is definitely biased. I don't like chavs, just waiting for the forum ban/trolling/snowflake responses.

Don't forget to take your pinch of salt...

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By *idnightxBrownCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

This is so true, people forget that people are on here to satisfy their own needs not other people's. Think of it like this if you prefer cat's and someone offers you a dog your not gonna take it because it's not what you want.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion. "

So you would rather send a message and get rejected/blocked?

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion.

So you would rather send a message and get rejected/blocked?

I would rather act like two adults and have a civilised conversation, but each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion.

So you would rather send a message and get rejected/blocked?

Yeah my ego isn’t fragile.

In regards to this topic - I’m not saying this for myself - the majority of these statements I see are about Asian men and I think it’s disgusting. I’ve seen the effect it has on these guys.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion.

So you would rather send a message and get rejected/blocked?

I would rather act like two adults and have a civilised conversation, but each to their own."

Ok I’m lost.....

Please explain your post

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion.

So you would rather send a message and get rejected/blocked?

Yeah my ego isn’t fragile.

In regards to this topic - I’m not saying this for myself - the majority of these statements I see are about Asian men and I think it’s disgusting. I’ve seen the effect it has on these guys."

Ok so how can we go about changing this?

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By *ud and BryanCouple over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion. "

If having a preference (not being attracted to black/Asian/white folks) makes a person racist, surely saying "no single men", is homophobic and/or sexist.

Nobody is attracted to ALL types of people, get over it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion.

If having a preference (not being attracted to black/Asian/white folks) makes a person racist, surely saying "no single men", is homophobic and/or sexist.

Nobody is attracted to ALL types of people, get over it!"

*face palm*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Preference is not prejudice.

However, slapping it up like signpost is at the very least insensitive.

If someone messages you and they aren't to your preference then a polite no thank you reads better than a an all caps "NO BLACK GUYS" on your profile.

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We have no colour or race preferences but accept that others do.

This is not in itself racist, in my opinion.

However, the way a person expresses their preference, will make a difference to our response to their profile.

We prefer *** is fine and positive no *** is negative and I find negativity in general a turn off.

Nita

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By *idnightxBrownCouple over a year ago

Birmingham

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion. "

You need to see a single female's inbox and you'll change that statement. I've seen guys get ignored and still constantly send msgs, a polite no thanks isn't good enough they then wanna know why?

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Is saying a white model can't have corn rows in her her racist or just culturally inappropriate?

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By *nowy and the GruffaloCouple over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

People stating their preferences isn’t racist, we are all attracted to different things.

Saying a certain race aren’t allowed to attend an event, now that would be racist.

We’ve never seen a profile that says no blacks or Asians, plenty that are looking for BBC though, which is completely prejudicial to non well endowed white guys!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/02/19 20:21:38]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never seen a man's profile that says no blacks, Asians etc. only women's. Is there reason other than skin colour for women not wanting to meet black or Asian men?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Preference is not prejudice.

However, slapping it up like signpost is at the very least insensitive.

If someone messages you and they aren't to your preference then a polite no thank you reads better than a an all caps "NO BLACK GUYS" on your profile."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah it’s racist. People say it’s preference. But explicitly writing that you don’t like a whole group of people isn’t preference.

Preference is all about what you PREFER. It’s meant to be a positive. Not about what you dislike or who you exclude.

For example - “I like Asian women” is a preference. “No black people” is racist."

So putting "I prefer white guys" is OK!

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By *ain n MableWoman over a year ago

Milton Keynes

There are so many white females & white couple's profiles who won't, under any circumstances, meet with white guys. They are solely looking for black guys. So are they being racist to their own race?

Come on people, it's a preference. Don't try and create something that isn't there.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"There are so many white females & white couple's profiles who won't, under any circumstances, meet with white guys. They are solely looking for black guys. So are they being racist to their own race?

Come on people, it's a preference. Don't try and create something that isn't there. "
Actually, I think that could be a little racist that example. The guy in the couple is white so he sees the black guys as no threat to his relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, personal choice is not racist and in my view the race card gets played far too often these days.

Just because someone doesn't want to have sex with you doesn't make them racist, it just means they don't fancy you...

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By *nowy and the GruffaloCouple over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Dictionary result for racism

noun

"prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior"

Not wanting to have sex with members of any race, simply because that is not your preference is not racism. The word "racism" gets thrown around so much people sometimes forget what it actually means.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sorry to say it, but there is a LOT of racism and many other isms on display here in Fab. Just a sad reflection of our society.

Absolutely agree. This isn't a very intelligent discussion on race at all either and not many understand it here. How sad. I should add a book list for interested parties.

Racism comes in all forms, from the overt to the subtle and unconscious. Get out, mix and educate yourselves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm sorry to say it, but there is a LOT of racism and many other isms on display here in Fab. Just a sad reflection of our society.

Absolutely agree. This isn't a very intelligent discussion on race at all either and not many understand it here. How sad. I should add a book list for interested parties.

Racism comes in all forms, from the overt to the subtle and unconscious. Get out, mix and educate yourselves. "

Absolutely .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Im sure a lot of people in this thread are missing the point. Nobody cares if you don’t fancy someone. I certainly don’t give a shit.

However, I do believe that’s it’s everyone’s responsibility to act like a decent human and not write bollocks like “no blacks” in 2019.

Once again, preference is cool - but it’s easier and more positive to ignore messages, rather than spreading a message of negativity and exclusion. "

V intelligently put.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here's a very simple start...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/50bf662a-c48c-4201-b2de-c575b14f6645

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By *r-hungwell999Man over a year ago

bradford

"Why is it prejudging when some one wants to only be with another person from their own race? How is that racist? Now, if a guy, or couple, say that Blacks or Mexicans, etc., are not welcomed, then there might be an issue. I've seen black women who wont give 2 seconds to any white guy. Why isn't she called a racist?"

You are right but at the same time forgetting to flip the coin the other way , sure if a woman or man wants to stick to their own race fine , but....

what the op is saying is if a person says “no Asians” yet is happy to meet all other backgrounds , and is ,let’s say a white woman, isn’t that then possibly racist ?, as where all humans and the only real difference is physical features and more obviously skin colour !! And I can assure you that anyone, esp on here who hv singled a race out in their preferences is NOT doing so because they are religious or want to stick to their own as they are only mostly singling one “type “but yet happy to see anyone else ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Here's a very simple start...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/50bf662a-c48c-4201-b2de-c575b14f6645"

Thank you for sharing.

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By *otTonite1Man over a year ago

Falkirk

[Removed by poster at 14/02/19 01:20:33]

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By *otTonite1Man over a year ago

Falkirk

I don't wish to meet single men or sleep with them, it doesn't mean I am homophobic though.

Some like big butts, or red heads or whatever it's preferences that is all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Here's a very simple start...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/50bf662a-c48c-4201-b2de-c575b14f6645"

I’ve read this article and maybe because I’m a guy I don’t agree with her.... but thank you for sharing... it was interesting...

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By *pertureTV/TS over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies

"Just putting it out there and realise by doing so this could be one of those divisive debates, as if we don't already have enough of them etc..

The western idea of racism is simply cultural guilt left from imperialistic days. To say you are not attracted to a specific type is preference. I'm simply not attracted to Eskimos. "

Surely you mean Inuit and Yupik people

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By *ab_SparklesWoman over a year ago

sparkle Surprised

I've only ever slept with British men white males and I doubt that i would change that...

However day to day i talk to most people but I do find when unable to understand it presents a difficult situation..

I even struggle to understand some British accents as well, and the lingo.

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By *riskynriskyCouple over a year ago

Essex.

Culture also plays a part in this.

Frisky is not attracted to Asian or Oriental guys.

Now I fully admit we haven't met any Oriental guys in a club but we have met 5 or 6 Asian guys and every one of them has left a bad impression, I know 5 or 6 guys are only a tiny percentage of the Asian guys that play but it has been a 100% failure rate.

This is likely down to their culture.

We have met a similar amount of Eastern European men and they have been pretty much the same.

White English guys have been a mix of good, bad and indifferent.

Black guys, we have met loads of black guys as that's our preference.

Out of the 100's of black guys we have met over the years, I can only think of 2 bad experiences.

Overall we have found black guys the most respectful and fun to be around.

That's our experience and obviously different from other people.

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By *iss LovelyWoman over a year ago

Here and There

You can’t help who/what you find attractive. How you communicate that preference is the tricky part.

In the past few years I’ve found myself only really attracted to black men, so that’s what I’m looking for here. I state that on my profile. I didn’t initially and spent too much time politely replying to non-black males who had messaged me. That’s not how I want to spend my time here on Fab, so now I make my preference clear (for all the good it does - tut).

I expect that that’s what other people do too, to try and minimise wasted time. Maybe they don’t do it in the politest way I.e. ‘no blacks or asians’ but that makes them rude, still not necessarily racist.

We should be able to make our sexual preference clear on Fab without it being a problem. A big part of life is realising that not everyone will like you/find you attractive, just as you won’t like or be attracted to everyone you meet. It’s just life isn’t it?

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