so i've always been interested in BDSM. seem to end up on bdsm videos if watching porn and explore bdsm clothing sites when a slow night at home
I've recently bought some leather hotpants with frontal zip on from lovehoney and i love the feeling of them on me.
Thing is i have no experience of this with a woman. What is the best way of getting this experience as girls i've come across so far (not on here) aren't interested. Are there clubs that specialize in this? As i've never done it and not 100% sure it's what i actually want or just a fantasy, i'm a bit aprehensive to go to a club on my own.
Any advice would be very welcome 
Thanks
R x |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
You've not said whether you think you are a Dom or sub, but my advice to you would be the same as to anyone contemplating taking steps in that direction.
First up, forget about the majority of the BDSM you see in porn, it's not necessarily representative and often comes right out of the "whips and chains" pathetic little worm/slut book.
There is of course no right way to BDSM, but there are plenty of wrong ways, and in the wrong hands it can be a dangerous thing - so before even considering submitting or Dominating someone, think long and hard about what kind of Dom/submissive you think you would be, and likewise what kind of Dom/submissive you would be looking for.
I'd suggest reading as much as you can find about the lifestyle, and when you think you are done reading, read some more - two very good and readily available books to recommend are Screw The Roses Bring Me The Thorns and SM101 both of which are to be recommended.
Consider getting along to a local munch (social for the BDSM world) and chatting to other likeminded people there, some may even be willing to mentor you, once they get to know you and if you are serious about your interest.
There are also some very good BDSM questionnaires on-line that you'd do well to complete, they'll help shape your thoughts about where your interests lie.
Once you've done all that, read some more, you can never learn too much.
I also note that you've not got SM ticked on your list of interests, which may be deliberate until you know what you're looking for.
Please, please, please though, don't consider playing with anyone in that way until you really have given some thought to your role in all this and feel knowledgeable enough to put that knowledge into practice. Being a Dom or sub comes from within and is not just a case of picking up a paddle or a clamp or buying fetish wear etc and hey presto you're a Dom or sub  |
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"You've not said whether you think you are a Dom or sub, but my advice to you would be the same as to anyone contemplating taking steps in that direction.
First up, forget about the majority of the BDSM you see in porn, it's not necessarily representative and often comes right out of the "whips and chains" pathetic little worm/slut book.
There is of course no right way to BDSM, but there are plenty of wrong ways, and in the wrong hands it can be a dangerous thing - so before even considering submitting or Dominating someone, think long and hard about what kind of Dom/submissive you think you would be, and likewise what kind of Dom/submissive you would be looking for.
I'd suggest reading as much as you can find about the lifestyle, and when you think you are done reading, read some more - two very good and readily available books to recommend are Screw The Roses Bring Me The Thorns and SM101 both of which are to be recommended.
Consider getting along to a local munch (social for the BDSM world) and chatting to other likeminded people there, some may even be willing to mentor you, once they get to know you and if you are serious about your interest.
There are also some very good BDSM questionnaires on-line that you'd do well to complete, they'll help shape your thoughts about where your interests lie.
Once you've done all that, read some more, you can never learn too much.
I also note that you've not got SM ticked on your list of interests, which may be deliberate until you know what you're looking for.
Please, please, please though, don't consider playing with anyone in that way until you really have given some thought to your role in all this and feel knowledgeable enough to put that knowledge into practice. Being a Dom or sub comes from within and is not just a case of picking up a paddle or a clamp or buying fetish wear etc and hey presto you're a Dom or sub "
Thanks for that reply Gemini, totally appreciate it can be dangerous in the wrong hands which is why I'm a bit hesitant on how to proceed
I have done some reading and a couple of online questionnaires and feel i sway more towards being a sub than a dom. I'll have a look at those books for a bit more info
As for the munch meets, I live on the Isle of Man and i've searched high and low for these but can never find any on (if you don't know, the Isle of Man is a place where everyone knows everyone elses business... and i don't get to the UK often enough)
I'll keep reading though and see where i get too.
Thanks very much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think what Gemini is saying is that you can cause a lot of physical and mental pain to yourself and others if you go down that path unprepared. Especially if you THINK you know what you're doing.
There's S&D is Submission and Domination, definately something you shouldn't really fuck about with too much, if you have fragile minds, or unprepared.
You don't necessarily need the whips and chains for S&D either. As victims to most mentally abusive relationships can attest to. Hence the reason behind Geminis thorough advice, I suggest you follow it to the letter. |
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