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Persuading girlfriend
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how does one persuade his girlfriend to get into swinging, or meeting a girl for some mutual fun? or even do kinky stuff. she’s so vanilla and i’m way too kinky. don’t wanna break up with her so any other solutions? help |
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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago
from the womb and tryout to get back |
You can't persuade someone to do things they don't want to do have you ever had a conversation with her and actually asked what kind of fantasys she has and if she would actually like to try any of them this is more about what you want and nothing that she wants |
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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago
warwickshire |
You don't persuade her to do anything, maybe explain what you are after from the relationship but if she doesn't want to do anything then that's her choice and you can't change it |
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yeah i’ve spoken to her, she’s not into girls at all or guys. she’s vanilla and i don’t think she had experience in the kinky world like i did before. she’s around my age but i’ve been dating older women before meeting her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe you could find out what her fantasies are while she’s horny. Slowly start introducing a few toys.... and see where it leads? I used to be very vanilla and it was fear that kept me that way for a long time because I couldn’t mentally and emotionally separate love and sex. |
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"Maybe you could find out what her fantasies are while she’s horny. Slowly start introducing a few toys.... and see where it leads? I used to be very vanilla and it was fear that kept me that way for a long time because I couldn’t mentally and emotionally separate love and sex. "
thank you, think that’s the most helpful answer. i can relate to that |
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"If she's straight you can't make her bi. You might see if she has any kinky fantasies, but trying to force her to be bi will backfire. "
thing is she hasn’t even watched porn and she hates it. she doesn’t know i watch it either. so not sure how she will have developed any fantasies if she hasn’t seen what’s out there |
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"If she's straight you can't make her bi. You might see if she has any kinky fantasies, but trying to force her to be bi will backfire.
thing is she hasn’t even watched porn and she hates it. she doesn’t know i watch it either. so not sure how she will have developed any fantasies if she hasn’t seen what’s out there"
Then don't make her watch porn. She doesn't want to. |
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"If she's straight you can't make her bi. You might see if she has any kinky fantasies, but trying to force her to be bi will backfire.
thing is she hasn’t even watched porn and she hates it. she doesn’t know i watch it either. so not sure how she will have developed any fantasies if she hasn’t seen what’s out there"
Then leave well alone. |
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"If she's straight you can't make her bi. You might see if she has any kinky fantasies, but trying to force her to be bi will backfire.
thing is she hasn’t even watched porn and she hates it. she doesn’t know i watch it either. so not sure how she will have developed any fantasies if she hasn’t seen what’s out there
Then don't make her watch porn. She doesn't want to. "
thanks, what do the others think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pillow talk and float the subject during sexy time, see how she reacts to it as a fantasy but be prepared for her to hate the idea. I floated the idea with Sasha 5 years before we started. Left it for a couple of years and floated it again, then waited and focused on something I knew turned her on which was the exibishionist side. We progressed from there. If she had said no then that would of been an end of it but we would still be happily married. |
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"Pillow talk and float the subject during sexy time, see how she reacts to it as a fantasy but be prepared for her to hate the idea. I floated the idea with Sasha 5 years before we started. Left it for a couple of years and floated it again, then waited and focused on something I knew turned her on which was the exibishionist side. We progressed from there. If she had said no then that would of been an end of it but we would still be happily married."
thank you |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
Firstly just realise she's not an extension of you but someone with her own thoughts, ideas , likes and dislikes. Then talk too her -you'll never change her core values so either accept that or move on |
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"If she's straight you can't make her bi. You might see if she has any kinky fantasies, but trying to force her to be bi will backfire.
thing is she hasn’t even watched porn and she hates it. she doesn’t know i watch it either. so not sure how she will have developed any fantasies if she hasn’t seen what’s out there"
There's not much porn I like , I don't think you necessarily have to enjoy porn to get ideas for fantasies. Some people are very sexual and experimental some aren't.
Have a think if you can live within the boundaries of her sexuality for the rest of your life or not, if not it's not fair to either of you really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yeah i’ve spoken to her, she’s not into girls at all or guys. she’s vanilla and i don’t think she had experience in the kinky world like i did before. she’s around my age but i’ve been dating older women before meeting her. "
What has her age got to do with anything?
Some people just aren’t into ‘kinky’ things. It’s as simple as that.
If being ‘kinky’ is a deal breaker for you, then break up with her. |
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A gentle way of giving her an insight, would be to visit an adult party. Agree that there will be absolutely no playing. Let her see what happens and talk to other couples. At the very least you've just been to a nice party. At best you may both enjoy a new lifestyle. That's how it was for us 14 years ago. Not looked back since!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A gentle way of giving her an insight, would be to visit an adult party. Agree that there will be absolutely no playing. Let her see what happens and talk to other couples. At the very least you've just been to a nice party. At best you may both enjoy a new lifestyle. That's how it was for us 14 years ago. Not looked back since!!"
If my partner suggested an adult party randomly to me I’d be off like a shot.
Honestly OP have a conversation with her. Say you’re quite kinky, would she be willing to try something? If no, then drop it.
It really isn’t difficult at all. |
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"yeah i’ve spoken to her, she’s not into girls at all or guys. she’s vanilla and i don’t think she had experience in the kinky world like i did before. she’s around my age but i’ve been dating older women before meeting her. "
If you spoken to her and she not interested then that is the end of it persuading her is NOT the way forward  |
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