FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > HOTWIVES - The Truth?

HOTWIVES - The Truth?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have always had fantasies about my wife (if I had one), or very long term girlfriend that I loved and trusted, being shared with another man. Initially it would be minor, but building up to full Hotwife scenario.

My question is that I regularly see couples posting on the forum saying they love hotwife etc. But surely they are currently on this journey.... so what happens at the end? Can you go back to just your husband? How long can this lifestyle continue and what are the unspoken ramifications? Surely long term it becomes the norm and therefore no longer special...

I would like to hear from anyone who has seen it go wrong with couples they know, or actually experienced it themselves? I imagine if it goes wrong, those couples may not be on the site anymore, so cannot give an honest opinion. Therefore leaving a disjointed view on Hotwife (Hotwifery?).

Would be nice to hear from couples who are thinking about it and if they have worries too.

A fantasy too far for some? Is there a flip side? Is it best to keep somethings as a fantasy between a couple?

Not expecting many answers.... sorry if it's a negative thread

P.s you can private message me if you are in a hotwife couple with issues. I can (if you want) update the thread for others to learn from.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have had in the past a long term FB and it worked for us until he fell in love. Sadly, this is a regular thing that can happen if your having sex and seeing someone on a regular basis.

From a hottish wife

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

My fella was up for it until i told him i was ready to do it, then he got all possessive.

I wanted to act on my feelings anyway (cheat on him) but found talking to other people about this helped me see sense and i did not cheat.

You can change your mind on anything at any time, people don't own each other and may leave you anyway. Suppose you can only judge on what's going on at the time, and decide how happy/unhappy you're willing to be.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

I'm not that much experienced in it btw. Found doing it NSA was easier than doing it with a parner.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not that much experienced in it btw. Found doing it NSA was easier than doing it with a parner."

This

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By *empsey and hotpieceMan over a year ago

North west

I’ve wondered some of the points you’ve brought up OP.

I fully understand a man enjoying watching his partner being fucked, I love it myself, but I can’t get my head around what would be enjoyable for me if I wasn’t there, Kim isn’t interested anyway, but I think I’d question our whole relationship if she was.

I’ve seen a couple of profiles where the fem describes her partner as pathetic etc, is that just part of the fantasy, or do some couples actually live full time with the man being humiliated? If so, is he getting something from it or does he just accept it, and if so, does the woman feel any guilt for treating him that way?

Not judging, what ever floats a couples boat is non of my concern, just intrigued how it all work?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have had in the past a long term FB and it worked for us until he fell in love. Sadly, this is a regular thing that can happen if your having sex and seeing someone on a regular basis.

From a hottish wife

So you think it's best to not have sex with the same guy as feelings can develop. Good advice, thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not that much experienced in it btw. Found doing it NSA was easier than doing it with a parner."

Thanks for your honest answers.

How long were you with your partner before you thought about NSA with someone else?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had in the past a long term FB and it worked for us until he fell in love. Sadly, this is a regular thing that can happen if your having sex and seeing someone on a regular basis.

From a hottish wife

So you think it's best to not have sex with the same guy as feelings can develop. Good advice, thank you."

That is my personal opinion and was like it with him so we decided not to continue. Someone else I meet I might not develop feelings for. Depends on the person and something I wouldn’t risk my marriage over.

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple over a year ago

manchester

We do the hotwife /cuckold bull play thing about once a month then go about our daily life again (which is still technically a cuck/hotwife relationship as we are naturally sub and domme with permanent chastity and lots of physiological and teasing before our next meetings)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have had a hotwife scenario for the last 3 years and as long as the relationship is solid and you both get what you need out of it then go for it.

We have been together for almost 30 years so are very happy together and this is just an extra bit of fun we both love.

Mrs H can see guys on her own if she likes and often sends me pics of her being naughty and we visit clubs for mutual enjoyment with single guys and couples which is great.

She tends to only meet guys the once as weve had clingy guys before and it doesn't work for us.

Im sure it doesn't work for everyone though but if it does then enjoy the ride xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have had a hotwife scenario for the last 3 years and as long as the relationship is solid and you both get what you need out of it then go for it.

We have been together for almost 30 years so are very happy together and this is just an extra bit of fun we both love.

Mrs H can see guys on her own if she likes and often sends me pics of her being naughty and we visit clubs for mutual enjoyment with single guys and couples which is great.

She tends to only meet guys the once as weve had clingy guys before and it doesn't work for us.

Im sure it doesn't work for everyone though but if it does then enjoy the ride xx"

That’s the thing, guys and gals can get clingy. They think once you’ve slept together a few time you are there’s!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’ve wondered some of the points you’ve brought up OP.

Not judging, what ever floats a couples boat is non of my concern, just intrigued how it all work?"

I think the humiliation is just a route some couples enjoy. I don't understand it either tbh.

Tbe other route, I think it's an extension of what you have experienced yourself when you say you love watching your partner getting fucked. Just progression from that, really. You share the experience afterwards, that's what it's all about to me - the other guy may as well be a vibrator. The husband 'reclaims' his partner upon her return. More trust, love and wanting everything for her. Plus extra kinky.

For some couples, though, I think it's just part of a swinger lifestyle.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"I'm not that much experienced in it btw. Found doing it NSA was easier than doing it with a parner.

Thanks for your honest answers.

How long were you with your partner before you thought about NSA with someone else? "

Well...

Pretty much straight away.

I've got a way higher sex drive than he has. Thing is sex is just sex for me but for him it's somethingmore than that and so he got upset that i wanted to have sex with other people so soon. We did a lot of talking, i know it probably sounds cliche but talking always helps.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We do the hotwife /cuckold bull play thing about once a month then go about our daily life again (which is still technically a cuck/hotwife relationship as we are naturally sub and domme with permanent chastity and lots of physiological and teasing before our next meetings) "

Interesting reply. It's only part of your sex life, kind of an add on to your current situation then. In which case it sounds sustainable (and great fun).

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not that much experienced in it btw. Found doing it NSA was easier than doing it with a parner.

Thanks for your honest answers.

How long were you with your partner before you thought about NSA with someone else?

Well...

Pretty much straight away.

If you have completwly different sex drives hotwifing could keep your relationship going then?

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By *j48Man over a year ago

Wigan

It's just a way of dressing up the fact that

My wife likes fucking other people so I put up with it

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By *loudF7Man over a year ago

South East

"I have had in the past a long term FB and it worked for us until he fell in love. Sadly, this is a regular thing that can happen if your having sex and seeing someone on a regular basis.

From a hottish wife

A very hot wife

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We have had a hotwife scenario for the last 3 years and as long as the relationship is solid and you both get what you need out of it then go for it.

We have been together for almost 30 years so are very happy together and this is just an extra bit of fun we both love.

Mrs H can see guys on her own if she likes and often sends me pics of her being naughty and we visit clubs for mutual enjoyment with single guys and couples which is great.

She tends to only meet guys the once as weve had clingy guys before and it doesn't work for us.

Im sure it doesn't work for everyone though but if it does then enjoy the ride xx"

If she only spends time with a guy once, doesn't it seem a waste to be messaging and then social etc... just for the one time and then repeat? How often does she meet guys? Sorry to be personal, just trying to understand how it fits in your couple's routine.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"I'm not that much experienced in it btw. Found doing it NSA was easier than doing it with a parner.

Thanks for your honest answers.

How long were you with your partner before you thought about NSA with someone else?

Well...

Pretty much straight away.

If you have completwly different sex drives hotwifing could keep your relationship going then?"

Yeah i think it could for us. Although i reallylove the guy and it'd take a lot to split us up, but lack of sex has caused arguments previously.

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By *umpassion69Couple over a year ago

newark (not really) but thats not far

One very happy hot wife here. We have a very solid loving relationship and had been together well over 20 years before we started this lifestyle. Now it’s 11 years on and I’ve turned into a nymph ! We both love it though and I can’t imagine anything changing tbh. X

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By *m3232Man over a year ago

maidenhead

I have been seeing a lady for two years as a hw works well for both of us and always good fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whilst we aren’t that experienced, I think for us it’s really important for us to consider what we have got out of each meet, talk about it afterwards and each time we consider whether we would do it again with the same guy or even at all. That way we both check in with each other and that we are both comfortable.

We haven’t found an issue with feelings developing or going back to sex with just us. The sex after a meet has always been better than the actual meet, so we just treat hotwifing as an occasional treat to spice things up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have given ourselves 5 years time frame. After that we would end this lifestyle.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

From personal experience, I've only engaged in swinging with a partner and being a hotwife, when things were equally desired and it was appropriate. It was just another broadening/deepening of the relationship. Whilst none of us can change the past, it's also great to have actually lived your life just as you wanted to, so there's an enormously positive aspect to it. Tastes do change and it doesn't mean that just because I've enjoyed something in the past, with a particular partner, that I'd regret it, or want to do it forever. We evolve. The key is to ensure that each partner is 100% behind doing something and that your communication is fully open.

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple over a year ago

manchester

Interesting reply. It's only part of your sex life, kind of an add on to your current situation then. In which case it sounds sustainable (and great fun).

"
I think it would cause issues if it was something constant I mean we still actually like love each other and the sex when it does happen

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve wondered some of the points you’ve brought up OP.

Not judging, what ever floats a couples boat is non of my concern, just intrigued how it all work?"

That’s cuckold not hotwifing x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We’re on our journey with the whole hotwife thing. As you can see by our profile we met here and progressed from that.

Willing to answer any questions OP

Gem x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have given ourselves 5 years time frame. After that we would end this lifestyle. "

We’ll stop when no one what’s me lol

Gem x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I haven’t met since June. I miss it a little bit cause it’s fun, and I’m only not meeting because I’m so ill/fragile. If my husband didn’t feel comfortable anymore, I’d stop in a heartbeat

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By *orthyorkypairCouple over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"I’ve wondered some of the points you’ve brought up OP.

Not judging, what ever floats a couples boat is non of my concern, just intrigued how it all work?"

thats cuckolding and often the guy actually "gets off" on the humiliation, not our scene but we are all different after all

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By *orthyorkypairCouple over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"I haven’t met since June. I miss it a little bit cause it’s fun, and I’m only not meeting because I’m so ill/fragile. If my husband didn’t feel comfortable anymore, I’d stop in a heartbeat "

Awww get well soon hun! xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It really confuses me. Me and my hubby are in this scenario. It was strictly his idea and took a while to convince me. I keep asking him why he likes seeing another man having sex me because the other way round I would 1000000% not allow it. He says it's exciting. We both love and trust each other very much but I can't see how he doesn't get angry seeing another bloke all over me. I'm very possessive so would never ever let a woman into the equation which does not bother him he doesn't want other women, just wants to see me get fucked by other men. So far it's worked out OK no hassle no arguments. Just thought I would share our experience

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It really confuses me. Me and my hubby are in this scenario. It was strictly his idea and took a while to convince me. I keep asking him why he likes seeing another man having sex me because the other way round I would 1000000% not allow it. He says it's exciting. We both love and trust each other very much but I can't see how he doesn't get angry seeing another bloke all over me. I'm very possessive so would never ever let a woman into the equation which does not bother him he doesn't want other women, just wants to see me get fucked by other men. So far it's worked out OK no hassle no arguments. Just thought I would share our experience

That’s the whole hotwife kink. Lots of people don’t get it but as long as you two are happy and content that’s all that matters x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I personally think you’re gorgeous. Show confidence and sexiness.

at your status Queen x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Lerfect answer, thank you. I hope you are feeling better soon. Best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We enjoy the HW scenario and mr misty is ok with it for a few reasons he is quite ill and it frustrates him as he cannot do things at the moment but he loves me going out and enjoying myself but we are in contact at all times and loves it we we go out and leaves me to get chatted too but if it ever changes him would stop in a heartbeat as our relationship is solid and we both have to agree, if one says yes and one no then it’s a no. He. Does scrutinise the guys though which is fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Still waiting for some negatives or examples of others who have got it wrong....

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By *ardiffCoupleNJCouple over a year ago

Pontypridd/Rhyfelin

So what do you get from it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

swingers to hotwife to now cuckold all starting over 20yrs ago .. all 3 we have done because of each other and all 3 have worked because its for each other the day it become one of us is starting to lose interest in the day we will give up.

we do this because we love each other and trust each other we talk very open to each other and neither of us are afraid to say no to something,we are very openminded...i do belive that not everyone is cut out for this.

as for for clingyness and other guys falling for me erm it aint going to happen i know this and i trust my self not to fall for anyone running off with someone is a 2 way thing if some one starts to get clingy in anyway shape or form its goodbye simple and as cold as that i love my man nothing is going to shift that for a silly mistake.

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple over a year ago

manchester

That’s the whole hotwife kink. Lots of people don’t get it but as long as you two are happy and content that’s all that matters x"
my personal reason (we are more cuckold but could develop into more hotwife stuff one day) is that's yes I like the humiliation side (naturally sub) and I still think my partner is stunning even after 12 years together so it's like watching the hottest person ever doing porn and what girl doesn't deserve the treat of a huge cock now and then. We all have fantasies but some couples cheat to explore these as they can't communicate as a couple

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By *m3232Man over a year ago

maidenhead

He is a lucky man.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So what do you get from it?"

Its given me so much more confidence! In previous relationships I've been strictly monogamous this is the first time EVER a partner has been more than happy to "share" me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"swingers to hotwife to now cuckold all starting over 20yrs ago .. all 3 we have done because of each other and all 3 have worked because its for each other the day it become one of us is starting to lose interest in the day we will give up.

You are a lucky couple (like most of them on this thread), I am jealous of your relationship(s).

So one day it will stop? Won't sex be boring without the lifestyle?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That’s the whole hotwife kink. Lots of people don’t get it but as long as you two are happy and content that’s all that matters x"

He is more than happy haha!! We sit down with the other bloke and explain rules (and anything goes apart from anal, don't judge me lol!) and go from there. It's quite exciting to be honest, it feels naughty and I love that my husband is proud of me and proud to share what is his.

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By *andkCouple over a year ago

Wisbech

I don't know if this counts as Hot wife but k will occasionally meet guys while Iam at work but I watch them fucking on the internal CCTV, I love hearing her cum as she's very vocal and seeing the sly smirk on the face just before the first thrust

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

That’s the whole hotwife kink. Lots of people don’t get it but as long as you two are happy and content that’s all that matters x

'Proud' yes that's a good way to describe it. Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't know if this counts as Hot wife but k will occasionally meet guys while Iam at work but I watch them fucking on the internal CCTV, I love hearing her cum as she's very vocal and seeing the sly smirk on the face just before the first thrust"

Yes Hotwife. Little bit sneaky if the guy doesn't know.... but a little bit sexy as well! Ha ha!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have given ourselves 5 years time frame. After that we would end this lifestyle.

We’ll stop when no one what’s me lol

Gem x"

So that will be never then gem x

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By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

Just deducing, op. It seems you cannot get your head around the idea of a man sharing the love of his life with another man, being intimate and the idea of full sex with his blessing? Fully understandable.

Can only speak from personal experience. We very rarely play and for us we're fulfilling what each other want to see. Our sex life is sound, life sound, secure etc., etc., and sex is where we can live out an idea or two. We deliberately play rarely to keep things fresh and new forbmeeting, enjoying the nerves and the like plus, we don't want it to become mundane, too familiar. We don't allow it to take over, it's our sexual deviation from normal life from time to time.

We'll often speak about ideas and fantasies we'd like each other to see and fab provides this, then act upon it, returning to everyday life pretty seamlessly, no jealousy, no issues, nothing as agreed and, NEVER using it as a tool in any disagreement, that's 100% off limits.

It can work, op, but you have to be absolutely solid and know each other ever so well in our book. Twenty plus years and we know who, what and where we are and importantly what's to lose which we wouldn't jeopardise for the lifestyle.

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By *omvampmMan over a year ago

gillingham

"Just deducing, op. It seems you cannot get your head around the idea of a man sharing the love of his life with another man, being intimate and the idea of full sex with his blessing? Fully understandable.

Wise words x

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By *aughty_Nat69Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

Some really wise words on here, that don’t just relate to hot wife, but swinging in general.

I don’t know if you would class me as a hot wife as my relationship with Mr is more that just this.

The vast majority of the time we play together and it’s what we enjoy the most. But we both have some other fantasies, like being the “guest” in a 3sum with another couple. We both also enjoy the odd solo, one on one, with someone new.

We have recently created this challenge page for me, push the boundaries a bit.

But for us it’s about trust, communication and honesty. We get the difference between sex and love. So on Fab we “fuck” but together off fab we “make love”. It’s a different kind of sex. Hope that makes sense. Finally, there is a lot more to our relationship that sex, sex is only a small part of it for us. So I think that’s why it works for us personally xxx

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By *omvampmMan over a year ago

gillingham

"Some really wise words on here, that don’t just relate to hot wife, but swinging in general.

I don’t know if you would class me as a hot wife as my relationship with Mr is more that just this.

We have recently created this challenge page for me, push the boundaries a bit.

Makes total sense x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had in the past a long term FB and it worked for us until he fell in love. Sadly, this is a regular thing that can happen if your having sex and seeing someone on a regular basis.

From a hottish wife

That's why we never meet the same people twice..plus it would be boring doing so..swinging is about variety.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

No, completely understand the desire to see the love of my life with another guy. To be honest it is my only fantasy. Consumes me! Ha ha! I genuinely get it.

I just wanted to hear any negatives really to help make a future decision, for me or anyone else. Seems like on all threads on this subject, there are only positive messages regarding this lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

UPDATED

I have recieved several messages from members. I am now of the opinion that Hotwife is split into two groups. The first more common group, uses it occasionally. The second group is smaller, but more secretive and go far beyond sex. They have real boyfriends and go for meals, sleepover regularly etc.. do things as a seperate couple. One group has constraints, the other seems to have few.

No one has said anything negative at all!!!!!

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By *ddyansianCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"UPDATED

No one has said anything negative at all!!!!! "

Would you expect them too? It's the decision of both and as most say, couples relationship first additional guys second.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"UPDATED

No one has said anything negative at all!!!!!

Would you expect them too? It's the decision of both and as most say, couples relationship first additional guys second. "

I don't think the additional guy is a threat to the marriage, or anything like that. I wondered if couples found it hard to go back to non-hotwife or if it changed the dynamics long term (obviously it is amazing at the time). Other issues could be the husband feeling inferior to a guy 20 years younger and 3" longer? Think I'm grasping at straws.... love is key in a Hotwife relationship

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have given ourselves 5 years time frame. After that we would end this lifestyle.

We’ll stop when no one what’s me lol

Gem x

So that will be never then gem x

Awww bless you!

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By *layourcardsrightCouple over a year ago

Chester

We are loving the Hot wife scene so much that Hubby is only allowed to fuck Angela after she has played with her young bull

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By *layourcardsrightCouple over a year ago

Chester

Absolutely the most erotic fantasy scenario ever !!

Nothing like your hubby watching from the corner or listening from the spare room darling xx

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By *tirluvMan over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

You either gethotwifing or you don't -if you are thinking it's a phase that ends in something else or a developmental process, then perhaps you're not fully on board with the hotwifing dynamic? granted it's different for everyone, but for me it's the knowing that she will fuck me after that does it -that and watchingothers fuck her and how much pleasure that gives her. For hotwifing to really be successful, you have to be secure enough in your relationship to know that it is you she wants not them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have done the hotwife thing for years nothing but fun and our love for each is as strong as the day we met 40 years ago.

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By *omvampmMan over a year ago

gillingham

"Have done the hotwife thing for years nothing but fun and our love for each is as strong as the day we met 40 years ago."

Well Jim , Jane is most clearly a hot wife yer a lucky man and so nice to see a couple together for so long see swinging lifestyle is good for us more people shud do it x

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By *tirluvMan over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

"Have done the hotwife thing for years nothing but fun and our love for each is as strong as the day we met 40 years ago.

Well Jim , Jane is most clearly a hot wife yer a lucky man and so nice to see a couple together for so long see swinging lifestyle is good for us more people shud do it x "

Is it just me imagining that being said by a CNN reporter in the street outside said persons home on the 6 o@clock news

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have just started out with exploring this - lots of fun so far

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have always had fantasies about my wife (if I had one), or very long term girlfriend that I loved and trusted, being shared with another man. Initially it would be minor, but building up to full Hotwife scenario.

I’m ignoring the rest, because yes, the rest is looking for the bad stuff.

I like the idea, fantasise? maybe. I think it’s kinky, sexy and all the other stuff that turns me on. I can only see it fit the sexy fun it can and could be.

But it’s interesting you say it could become the norm. We’ve both spoke about how things are referred to as vanilla, and it’s normally to try to say something Is boring. Hotwife might be vanilla to some, where it’s exiting to us.

But our vanilla is still exciting... just us two together is what makes us solid with each other, not sharing something with someone else. You know?

Swinging is not a replacement to what we have is what I’m trying to say I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have had a hotwife scenario for the last 3 years and as long as the relationship is solid and you both get what you need out of it then go for it.

We have been together for almost 30 years so are very happy together and this is just an extra bit of fun we both love.

Mrs H can see guys on her own if she likes and often sends me pics of her being naughty and we visit clubs for mutual enjoyment with single guys and couples which is great.

She tends to only meet guys the once as weve had clingy guys before and it doesn't work for us.

Im sure it doesn't work for everyone though but if it does then enjoy the ride xx

That’s the thing, guys and gals can get clingy. They think once you’ve slept together a few time you are there’s! "
Correct! Some people can get clingy and attached and if your already taken and they know that...it’s not good!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You either gethotwifing or you don't -if you are thinking it's a phase that ends in something else or a developmental process, then perhaps you're not fully on board with the hotwifing dynamic? granted it's different for everyone, but for me it's the knowing that she will fuck me after that does it -that and watchingothers fuck her and how much pleasure that gives her. For hotwifing to really be successful, you have to be secure enough in your relationship to know that it is you she wants not them."

It clearly is developmental. Beginning with fantasy, then swinging and on to Hotwife. Then some couples go 'Full Hotwife' (TM)????. I am sure that many couples stay in the fantasy realm, others progress further...yes it is different for everyone ??

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple over a year ago

Manchester

Knew there was a reason we liked you pair

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By *andkCouple over a year ago

Wisbech

Yes Hotwife. Little bit sneaky if the guy doesn't know.... but a little bit sexy as well! Ha ha!"

The other party always knows L is watching, told beforehand that's our thing, if they're not happy then we wouldn't meet.... Had no one refuse

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