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Dates from hell

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’m currently being held hostage in my apartment from the date from hell...

As I type this , a woman is sleeping in my bed snoring and drooling on my pillows...

I have no clue how I’m going to kick her out but I have to post this while these events are fresh in my mind....

Long story short... I met a woman on tinder had a great date then back to my place... we made out then when I’m about to have sex with her... she starts crying and starts telling me she is still in love with her ex....

Being a gentleman I listen to her and Offer her a ride home in a Uber... She says no I want you to cuddle with me ....

I cuddled with her until she fell asleep...now I’m stuck with a stranger in my house...

Please share your dates from hell , so I can feel better about myself....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Draw a penis on her head

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Travelled to a different town to meet someone for him not to turn up as he was working left waiting over an hour for his mate to be to me. Was took to his place of work before I even fully got through the door he came over and gave me a full on kiss then told me his family was their

bare in mind this was first time of seeing him.

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By *JWMan over a year ago

caerphilly

Long time ago a lady from Malvern visited after a series of online chats and making plans. Within 2 minutes of her arriving we were fucking doggy style on the stairs. After the initial deed was done we were more relaxed and settled down for a chat and a drink. That's where it went tits up as she was a raving alcoholic who got smashed out of her skull and ended up in a heap sleeping on.my kitchen floor.....bloody nightmare to get rid of her in the morning

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I kind of feel sorry for your emotionally unstable bed guest but order her a taxi and wake her and tell her your late for work or something came up or whatever. Hopefully in her sleepy state she'll not put up too much fuss. Then learn from your mistake!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I kind of feel sorry for your emotionally unstable bed guest but order her a taxi and wake her and tell her your late for work or something came up or whatever. Hopefully in her sleepy state she'll not put up too much fuss. Then learn from your mistake!"

I’m kinda d*unk, so I’ll try to get some sleep on my couch and kick her out before work...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lol good lad and at least your not sober yourself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Accidentally went on a date with a tory activist once, that didn't end well!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tell her to ask her ex to come and pick her up

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Tell her to ask her ex to come and pick her up

She is snoring as loud as a locomotive.....

If I could post voice notes , I would.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tell her to ask her ex to come and pick her up

She is snoring as loud as a locomotive.....

If I could post voice notes , I would....."

Try having sex again.. she might have forgotten what happened last night lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Tell her to ask her ex to come and pick her up

She is snoring as loud as a locomotive.....

If I could post voice notes , I would.....

Try having sex again.. she might have forgotten what happened last night lol"

No , that’s not my style.... she is too d*unk , she can’t consent to sex....

I’ll just hangout on Fab until I fall asleep....

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

throw a bucket of cold water over her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m reknowned at work for having disaster date stories. I’m on my phone in bed atm so I’ll type my epic first date failure in a bit.

Here’s another contender though. I’d had a fairly successful first date with a girl and had just lined up the second. Then I get a phone call from her in a panic as her dads had a car crash.

Cue second date of me taking her to addenbrooks hospital whilst her dad underwent brain surgery to keep him alive (the docs did good!).

I got to spend the night trying to console her dads girlfriend who was a complete mess because his family didn’t approve of her and wouldn’t talk to her.

It was not a great way to meet the family.

The whole thing eventually ended in a , now rather amusing, disaster several dates later. But that’s more of a terrible “dating” story than just a date.

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

When I was younger I met a man in a pub and invited him to my flat. He was much much much older than me at the time (I was about 20) and I decided I didn’t like him much so I asked him to nip to the corner store for something. It was pretty late about 11.30pm. As soon as he’d gone through the door I grabbed my coat and keys. Ran out the door. Locked up and headed in the opposite direction to a friends house. Never heard or saw him again.

Although that’s probably his worst date story

V x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This date keeps getting better and better.....

She ended up throwing up in my bed... so while I’ve been away from Fab ..... I’ve had to undress her , throw he in the shower, get her dressed and do a load of laundry..... plus clean up the vomit and change the bed.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all...

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all..."
Still behaving like a Gentleman though.

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

When does this go up on porn hub?

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all..."

Oh dear lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"When does this go up on porn hub?"

I’m not concerned at this moment about sex or recording her.....

She threw up on my chinchilla king size comforter and my Alpaca rugs.....

I’m trying to figure out if I should bring these items to the dry cleaners or the Fur store for cleaning....

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"When does this go up on porn hub?

I’m not concerned at this moment about sex or recording her.....

She threw up on my chinchilla king size comforter and my Alpaca rugs.....

I’m trying to figure out if I should bring these items to the dry cleaners or the Fur store for cleaning...."
Be sure to send her an invoice though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all..."

Oh my!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

And you thing uour date was awkward

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

And you thing uour date was awkward "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Accidentally went on a date with a tory activist once, that didn't end well!"

Ihatemay!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all... Still behaving like a Gentleman though.

Hardly a gentleman by posting this here. Is he?...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m currently being held hostage in my apartment from the date from hell...

As I type this , a woman is sleeping in my bed snoring and drooling on my pillows...

I have no clue how I’m going to kick her out but I have to post this while these events are fresh in my mind....

Being a gentleman I listen to her and Offer her a ride home in a Uber... She says no I want you to cuddle with me ....

I cuddled with her until she fell asleep...now I’m stuck with a stranger in my house...

Please share your dates from hell , so I can feel better about myself....

Its 10am now - must be kicking out time!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When does this go up on porn hub?

I’m not concerned at this moment about sex or recording her.....

She threw up on my chinchilla king size comforter and my Alpaca rugs.....

I’m trying to figure out if I should bring these items to the dry cleaners or the Fur store for cleaning...."

Ouch! when she is sober I hope she offers to pay for the cleaning

Trim

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Draw a penis on her head "

With a permenant marker ha

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

"
if you were choking why did you still have your head between her legs ?

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all... Still behaving like a Gentleman though.

Hardly a gentleman by posting this here. Is he?..."
He said the woman is a tinder date not a Fab meet. Doubt she is gonna see it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all... Still behaving like a Gentleman though.

Hardly a gentleman by posting this here. Is he?... He said the woman is a tinder date not a Fab meet. Doubt she is gonna see it."

Ah yes, I know that but still. Not something I would do.

I know he’s a nice guy. Seen him commenting in the forums lots. Just don’t see why he had to put it here. Tis all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When does this go up on porn hub?

I’m not concerned at this moment about sex or recording her.....

She threw up on my chinchilla king size comforter and my Alpaca rugs.....

I’m trying to figure out if I should bring these items to the dry cleaners or the Fur store for cleaning...."

Burn em!!!!

*waits for animal activists imput*

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all... Still behaving like a Gentleman though.

Exactly

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all... Still behaving like a Gentleman though.

Exactly

"
He's a keeper isn't he?

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By *hingy2Woman over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all..."

Omg you're really having a bad time x

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

No stories to tell but you do get yourself in a pickle OP.

Ps what so you mean 'made out' I thought that was 'had sex' but reading your post it seems not. Foreplay perhaps?

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"No stories to tell but you do get yourself in a pickle OP.

Ps what so you mean 'made out' I thought that was 'had sex' but reading your post it seems not. Foreplay perhaps? "
It's American for just kissing.

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By *empsey and hotpieceMan over a year ago

North west

"First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

if you were choking why did you still have your head between her legs ?"

I worked it out

She was on top so he couldn’t move, also, if he was on top the poop wouldn’t have landed on his head.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

if you were choking why did you still have your head between her legs ?

I worked it out

She was on top so he couldn’t move, also, if he was on top the poop wouldn’t have landed on his head."

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

I worked it out

She was on top so he couldn’t move, also, if he was on top the poop wouldn’t have landed on his head."

Thanks for spending time working this out for me

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"No stories to tell but you do get yourself in a pickle OP.

Ps what so you mean 'made out' I thought that was 'had sex' but reading your post it seems not. Foreplay perhaps? It's American for just kissing."

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Although it wasn't a date, I had a man cry about his ex after we had sex. I told him to stop meeting strangers for sex and try to sort out his relationship with her.

Then I went home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all... Still behaving like a Gentleman though.

Hardly a gentleman by posting this here. Is he?... He said the woman is a tinder date not a Fab meet. Doubt she is gonna see it.

Ah yes, I know that but still. Not something I would do.

I know he’s a nice guy. Seen him commenting in the forums lots. Just don’t see why he had to put it here. Tis all

You've seen his comments and still think he's a nice guy??

Only joking bud

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By *empsey and hotpieceMan over a year ago

North west

I worked it out

She was on top so he couldn’t move, also, if he was on top the poop wouldn’t have landed on his head.

Thanks for spending time working this out for me

Not a problem, I do enjoy solving laws of physics conundrums.

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"When does this go up on porn hub?

I’m not concerned at this moment about sex or recording her.....

She threw up on my chinchilla king size comforter and my Alpaca rugs.....

I’m trying to figure out if I should bring these items to the dry cleaners or the Fur store for cleaning...."

Consider that as payback from the Chinchillas...

Karma is a bitch lol

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

A guy once took me out for something to eat after work. We rocked up at the chip shop, he did offer me curry sauce though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No stories to tell but you do get yourself in a pickle OP.

Ps what so you mean 'made out' I thought that was 'had sex' but reading your post it seems not. Foreplay perhaps? It's American for just kissing."

You should of gone on that date with him...

Would of been a whole different thread!

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

She threw up on my chinchilla king size comforter and my Alpaca rugs.....

..."

Lost all the love for the OP right there. Karma was bound to fuck you in the arse eventually (and I’m not an animal rights activist)

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman over a year ago

Richmond

My worst:

Met a guy who I'd chatted with for quite a while, we had a drink at a pub, then headed to a club, which we'd been talking about, he was really excited as he'd never been to one.

He was really nervous, I am anything but pushy. After an hour of hot tubs and wandering around, I suggest a private room, which he was up for so we sat and talked for a while.

He wants to go ahead, so we start out with a bit of fondling. At which point he comes immediately.

Then the panic starts in. He freaks out on me.

He tells me he's married, this is the first time he's ever done anything like this and WHAT IF HE'S NOW CAUGHT AN STI?????

I end up spending the next 20 minutes assuring him 1-I'm 100% clean, had just been tested for everything and no sexual contact with anyone since the tests; 2-we hadn't actually DONE anything!

Finally ended it by telling him to go to a clinic when he gets home, as nothing reassured him.

I would've been highly offended if I could've got beyond thinking WTF.

To be fair, he did pay for my cab ride home.

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By *weeetOneWoman over a year ago

Nottingham

I have so many bad date stories haha without going into detail, I've had dates turn into stalkers, lose wallets, travel to see me for a date and for some reason expecting to stay at my house so when the date came to an end they had nowhere to stay and called me a bitch for not letting them (realistically a stranger) into my home.

There's so so many

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well she finally left and my head is spinning...

The good news is I don’t have to bring the comforter and rugs to the fur store... the dry cleaners can clean them... but he wouldn’t give me a price over the phone.....

The bad news is I think I have Stockholm syndrome....

This chick is drop dead gorgeous... she woke up and looked stunning with no makeup...

She cleaned up the bathroom, when to the supermarket , bought groceries, and made me breakfast....

Then offered to pay the cleaning bill....

I’m really not sure how to feel.... on one hand I found her to be crazy. On the other hand I kinda want to see her again.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have never had a date so it's all good here!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"My worst:

Met a guy who I'd chatted with for quite a while, we had a drink at a pub, then headed to a club, which we'd been talking about, he was really excited as he'd never been to one.

He was really nervous, I am anything but pushy. After an hour of hot tubs and wandering around, I suggest a private room, which he was up for so we sat and talked for a while.

He wants to go ahead, so we start out with a bit of fondling. At which point he comes immediately.

Then the panic starts in. He freaks out on me.

He tells me he's married, this is the first time he's ever done anything like this and WHAT IF HE'S NOW CAUGHT AN STI?????

I end up spending the next 20 minutes assuring him 1-I'm 100% clean, had just been tested for everything and no sexual contact with anyone since the tests; 2-we hadn't actually DONE anything!

Finally ended it by telling him to go to a clinic when he gets home, as nothing reassured him.

I would've been highly offended if I could've got beyond thinking WTF.

To be fair, he did pay for my cab ride home."

Oh lord!

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By *racknell SexMan over a year ago

Bracknell

Bad hygiene and/or d*unkenness has been my experience of dates from hell.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Well she finally left and my head is spinning...

The good news is I don’t have to bring the comforter and rugs to the fur store... the dry cleaners can clean them... but he wouldn’t give me a price over the phone.....

The bad news is I think I have Stockholm syndrome....

This chick is drop dead gorgeous... she woke up and looked stunning with no makeup...

She cleaned up the bathroom, when to the supermarket , bought groceries, and made me breakfast....

Then offered to pay the cleaning bill....

I’m really not sure how to feel.... on one hand I found her to be crazy. On the other hand I kinda want to see her again....."

Hopefully if you do it won't be a repeat of this lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well she finally left and my head is spinning...

The good news is I don’t have to bring the comforter and rugs to the fur store... the dry cleaners can clean them... but he wouldn’t give me a price over the phone.....

The bad news is I think I have Stockholm syndrome....

This chick is drop dead gorgeous... she woke up and looked stunning with no makeup...

She cleaned up the bathroom, when to the supermarket , bought groceries, and made me breakfast....

Then offered to pay the cleaning bill....

I’m really not sure how to feel.... on one hand I found her to be crazy. On the other hand I kinda want to see her again.....

Hopefully if you do it won't be a repeat of this lol.

I don’t think so.... she told me , she has a lot of respect for me because I took good care of her....

Honestly I have no clue if this is a love or horror story.....

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"No stories to tell but you do get yourself in a pickle OP.

Ps what so you mean 'made out' I thought that was 'had sex' but reading your post it seems not. Foreplay perhaps? It's American for just kissing.

You should of gone on that date with him...

Would of been a whole different thread! "

Yeah, I'd make him my bitch.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Well she finally left and my head is spinning...

The good news is I don’t have to bring the comforter and rugs to the fur store... the dry cleaners can clean them... but he wouldn’t give me a price over the phone.....

The bad news is I think I have Stockholm syndrome....

This chick is drop dead gorgeous... she woke up and looked stunning with no makeup...

She cleaned up the bathroom, when to the supermarket , bought groceries, and made me breakfast....

Then offered to pay the cleaning bill....

I’m really not sure how to feel.... on one hand I found her to be crazy. On the other hand I kinda want to see her again.....

Hopefully if you do it won't be a repeat of this lol.

I don’t think so.... she told me , she has a lot of respect for me because I took good care of her....

Honestly I have no clue if this is a love or horror story.....

Then I think you should meet her again then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You deserve bad luck if you think it’s okay to decorate your house with poor innocent dead animals !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You deserve bad luck if you think it’s okay to decorate your house with poor innocent dead animals ! "

I’m sorry..... I find the hemp shoes , belts , and jackets you wear to be quite itchy.....

I also like to eat poor innocent dead animals also.....

I know, I know. I’m going to hell

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m currently being held hostage in my apartment from the date from hell...

As I type this , a woman is sleeping in my bed snoring and drooling on my pillows...

I have no clue how I’m going to kick her out but I have to post this while these events are fresh in my mind....

Being a gentleman I listen to her and Offer her a ride home in a Uber... She says no I want you to cuddle with me ....

I cuddled with her until she fell asleep...now I’m stuck with a stranger in my house...

Please share your dates from hell , so I can feel better about myself....

A guy I was on a date with once stormed out of the pub after a WC game because I had to explain the offside rule......

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m currently being held hostage in my apartment from the date from hell...

As I type this , a woman is sleeping in my bed snoring and drooling on my pillows...

I have no clue how I’m going to kick her out but I have to post this while these events are fresh in my mind....

Being a gentleman I listen to her and Offer her a ride home in a Uber... She says no I want you to cuddle with me ....

I cuddled with her until she fell asleep...now I’m stuck with a stranger in my house...

Please share your dates from hell , so I can feel better about myself....

A guy I was on a date with once stormed out of the pub after a WC game because I had to explain the offside rule......"

That is horrible..... he must have been a American......

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

what i dont understand is how you let her get so d*unk if you where planning on having sex with her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP - interesting

Bad date: after meeting him in a pub, it turned out I was sat in his wife’s ‘chair’, he was a lot older then his photos and he was four pints in! As I tried to leave (after the obligatory one drink) he asked why I didn’t fancy him and sobbed. The bartender’s face said it all. Finally escaping, he caught up with me and jumped in my car with the offer of his ‘services’. Apparently, lots of ladies regularly call him up for his sexual prowess - I declined

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"what i dont understand is how you let her get so d*unk if you where planning on having sex with her"

I really wasn’t trying to get her......I DON’T HAVE SEX WITH DRUNK WOMEN... this metoo thing has me very careful... we shared one bottle of wine at dinner.....

Then back at my place, we kinda forgot about time while drinking , talking and getting comfortable.....

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"what i dont understand is how you let her get so d*unk if you where planning on having sex with her

I really wasn’t trying to get her......I DON’T HAVE SEX WITH DRUNK WOMEN... this metoo thing has me very careful... we shared one bottle of wine at dinner.....

Then back at my place, we kinda forgot about time while drinking , talking and getting comfortable....."
Yeah you can't blame her for having a bit of dutch courage to meet you big boy.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

ive never really had a bad date

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"ive never really had a bad date"
Me neither i'm too shrewd.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"ive never really had a bad date Me neither i'm too shrewd."
im just wondering if i have had one so bad ive deleted.it from my memory

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

See I'd drag her over to the carpet , roll it up , find my keys to the Capri and Chuck her and the mangy carpet out somewhere dark and quiet a few miles away before shooting into town for a Kentucky

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I didn't just say that out loud did I ??

Woopsie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She threw up on my chinchilla king size comforter and my Alpaca rugs.....

...

Lost all the love for the OP right there. Karma was bound to fuck you in the arse eventually (and I’m not an animal rights activist)

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I think it would constitute quite a bad date for me if I was sick in someone's house and then found they'd spent hours bitching about me online...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

And you thing uour date was awkward "

now this is funny as fuck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She's still in love with her ex. Can you make her forget him?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m currently being held hostage in my apartment from the date from hell...

As I type this , a woman is sleeping in my bed snoring and drooling on my pillows...

I have no clue how I’m going to kick her out but I have to post this while these events are fresh in my mind....

Being a gentleman I listen to her and Offer her a ride home in a Uber... She says no I want you to cuddle with me ....

I cuddled with her until she fell asleep...now I’m stuck with a stranger in my house...

Please share your dates from hell , so I can feel better about myself....

You are a good person. I'm glad to hear this woman is safe with you. I'm sorry she did this to you though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most of my dates are good.

One of my most random dates was my first tinder date that ended up in a foursome

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think it would constitute quite a bad date for me if I was sick in someone's house and then found they'd spent hours bitching about me online..."

I’m surprised at you.....

You didn’t read the whole thread..... the date turned out great.... she made me breakfast and cleaned up the bathroom.....

She has offered to pay for the cleaning of the rugs and comforter, but I’ll decline .....

So my d*unk bitching turned into sober morning admiration.....,

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Most of my dates are good.

One of my most random dates was my first tinder date that ended up in a foursome

I’m honestly jealous.....

I heard Tinder started as a NSA sex app....

In my experience it is a dating app....

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

[Removed by poster at 16/01/19 00:19:11]

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"I’m currently being held hostage in my apartment from the date from hell...

As I type this , a woman is sleeping in my bed snoring and drooling on my pillows...

I have no clue how I’m going to kick her out but I have to post this while these events are fresh in my mind....

Being a gentleman I listen to her and Offer her a ride home in a Uber... She says no I want you to cuddle with me ....

I cuddled with her until she fell asleep...now I’m stuck with a stranger in my house...

Please share your dates from hell , so I can feel better about myself....

You are a good person. I'm glad to hear this woman is safe with you. I'm sorry she did this to you though."
Here, here, he's only gone up in my estimation. Proud of my homie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Most of my dates are good.

One of my most random dates was my first tinder date that ended up in a foursome

I’m honestly jealous.....

I heard Tinder started as a NSA sex app....

In my experience it is a dating app...."

I use it for dating. But this happened.... Lol.

It was hot.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m currently being held hostage in my apartment from the date from hell...

As I type this , a woman is sleeping in my bed snoring and drooling on my pillows...

I have no clue how I’m going to kick her out but I have to post this while these events are fresh in my mind....

Being a gentleman I listen to her and Offer her a ride home in a Uber... She says no I want you to cuddle with me ....

I cuddled with her until she fell asleep...now I’m stuck with a stranger in my house...

Please share your dates from hell , so I can feel better about myself....

You are a good person. I'm glad to hear this woman is safe with you. I'm sorry she did this to you though. Here, here, he's only gone up in my estimation. Proud of my homie

Hey it’s only two musketeers now.... someone has to take the lead.....

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"I’m currently being held hostage in my apartment from the date from hell...

As I type this , a woman is sleeping in my bed snoring and drooling on my pillows...

I have no clue how I’m going to kick her out but I have to post this while these events are fresh in my mind....

Being a gentleman I listen to her and Offer her a ride home in a Uber... She says no I want you to cuddle with me ....

I cuddled with her until she fell asleep...now I’m stuck with a stranger in my house...

Please share your dates from hell , so I can feel better about myself....

You are a good person. I'm glad to hear this woman is safe with you. I'm sorry she did this to you though. Here, here, he's only gone up in my estimation. Proud of my homie

Hey it’s only two musketeers now.... someone has to take the lead....."
Yeah,just back to me and you again. We going Sizzler Sidney?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

if you were choking why did you still have your head between her legs ?"

She was sat on my head i had only just started choking

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I’m currently being held hostage in my apartment from the date from hell...

As I type this , a woman is sleeping in my bed snoring and drooling on my pillows...

I have no clue how I’m going to kick her out but I have to post this while these events are fresh in my mind....

Being a gentleman I listen to her and Offer her a ride home in a Uber... She says no I want you to cuddle with me ....

I cuddled with her until she fell asleep...now I’m stuck with a stranger in my house...

Please share your dates from hell , so I can feel better about myself....

I did that on a meet once hahaha, just the bursting into tears, not the snoring and drooling...... but then we had some more great sex and he didn't hold it against me....

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all..."

Eeew, that's not nice....she drank too much to go to bed with you in the first place sounds like!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

And you thing uour date was awkward

now this is funny as fuck

It wasn't funny i was choking and trying to heaving at the same time the bastard nearly killed me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A) Shout fire until she runs out of the house.

B) If that doesnt work... Light a fire and then start from A.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This date keeps getting better and better.....

Boy I’ll tell you, if it wasn’t for bad luck... I’d have no luck at all...

Eeew, that's not nice....she drank too much to go to bed with you in the first place sounds like!"

Honestly I think it was the champagne that did her in.... I had a few bottles in the house from Christmas......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gotta leave a mark to come back to this..

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By *inkyPixelMan over a year ago

Cranford

OP you are a legend. Props for looking after the lady. I remember having to do the same once. Fortunately no vomit happened it was at her place so I tucked her into bed (left her clothes on) and left the house and left a text message for her.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Gotta leave a mark to come back to this.. "

agreed, intrigued to see how date 2 goes!

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

You MUST see her again.

She's the fab celeb of 2019.

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By *abulously curiousCouple over a year ago

manchester

Has she gone yet haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ive never really had a bad date Me neither i'm too shrewd.im just wondering if i have had one so bad ive deleted.it from my memory

That's me....

Best to forget

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really "
actually i couldnt agree more with this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really actually i couldnt agree more with this"

It all sounds like a load of bollocks, just a white knight advertising

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By *iliciousCouple over a year ago

Sussex/Surrey

"Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really actually i couldnt agree more with this

It all sounds like a load of bollocks, just a white knight advertising "

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really actually i couldnt agree more with this

It all sounds like a load of bollocks, just a white knight advertising "
i believe what he says but despite all the warning signs because shes attractive and he wants to get a shag hes prepared to forgive all

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"what i dont understand is how you let her get so d*unk if you where planning on having sex with her"

He let her get d*unk? Do women not have their own mind anymore?

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

And you thing uour date was awkward

now this is funny as fuck

It wasn't funny i was choking and trying to heaving at the same time the bastard nearly killed me

It is funny

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"what i dont understand is how you let her get so d*unk if you where planning on having sex with her

He let her get d*unk? Do women not have their own mind anymore?"
yes but if i was in a situation with someone male or female id make it clear things wouldnt progress if they drank anymore

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First date having a 69 with no warning she gushed (first gusher i had met) i started choking while i was choking she was still having a orgasm and lost control and shit on my head

And you thing uour date was awkward

now this is funny as fuck

It wasn't funny i was choking and trying to heaving at the same time the bastard nearly killed me

It is funny

Sorry pal but I'm in full agreement r does mfm

This is the funniest post in a while

And I'm glad your still with us

But if you weren't what a way to go

Like waterboarding

But not

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really actually i couldnt agree more with this

It all sounds like a load of bollocks, just a white knight advertising "

Wow I didn’t know a lite hearted post could turn into me being a white knight....

Ok I’ll bite , I have never white knighted nor will I ever be a white knight...You can check my green arrow for evidence...

Now as for being desperate... you’re grossly misinformed... I get more ass than a toilet seat.. I don’t need to kiss ass on the internet to get sex... I get approached by women in the real world and I’m constantly being set up by friends and family....

So please do not class me with these desperate men you see on sex sites trying to have sex with anyone... I’m a cut above...

Now about this woman I went on a date with...

She is absolutely drop dead gorgeous... not Fab hot pics gorgeous.. But real world... no make up gorgeous..... and she can cook...

So you’re all are damn right, I’m going to see her again.... She has to pay my cleaning bill ....

I got the quote from the dry cleaner......

Chinchilla and Alpaca fur ain’t cheap to clean....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really actually i couldnt agree more with this

It all sounds like a load of bollocks, just a white knight advertising

Wow I didn’t know a lite hearted post could turn into me being a white knight....

Ok I’ll bite , I have never white knighted nor will I ever be a white knight...You can check my green arrow for evidence...

So please do not class me with these desperate men you see on sex sites trying to have sex with anyone... I’m a cut above...

Now about this woman I went on a date with...

She is absolutely drop dead gorgeous... not Fab hot pics gorgeous.. But real world... no make up gorgeous..... and she can cook...

So you’re all are damn right, I’m going to see her again.... She has to pay my cleaning bill ....

I got the quote from the dry cleaner......

Chinchilla and Alpaca fur ain’t cheap to clean...."

Always so modest aren't you lovely

Lol

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By *eavenscentitCouple over a year ago

barnstaple

I worked it out

She was on top so he couldn’t move, also, if he was on top the poop wouldn’t have landed on his head.

Thanks for spending time working this out for me

Very funny all the same

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By *inkycreamCouple over a year ago

manchester

"Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really actually i couldnt agree more with this

It all sounds like a load of bollocks, just a white knight advertising

Wow I didn’t know a lite hearted post could turn into me being a white knight....

Ok I’ll bite , I have never white knighted nor will I ever be a white knight...You can check my green arrow for evidence...

So please do not class me with these desperate men you see on sex sites trying to have sex with anyone... I’m a cut above...

Now about this woman I went on a date with...

She is absolutely drop dead gorgeous... not Fab hot pics gorgeous.. But real world... no make up gorgeous..... and she can cook...

So you’re all are damn right, I’m going to see her again.... She has to pay my cleaning bill ....

I got the quote from the dry cleaner......

Chinchilla and Alpaca fur ain’t cheap to clean....

Always so modest aren't you lovely

Lol

Ow and desperate

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really actually i couldnt agree more with this

It all sounds like a load of bollocks, just a white knight advertising

Wow I didn’t know a lite hearted post could turn into me being a white knight....

Ok I’ll bite , I have never white knighted nor will I ever be a white knight...You can check my green arrow for evidence...

So please do not class me with these desperate men you see on sex sites trying to have sex with anyone... I’m a cut above...

Now about this woman I went on a date with...

She is absolutely drop dead gorgeous... not Fab hot pics gorgeous.. But real world... no make up gorgeous..... and she can cook...

So you’re all are damn right, I’m going to see her again.... She has to pay my cleaning bill ....

I got the quote from the dry cleaner......

Chinchilla and Alpaca fur ain’t cheap to clean...."
Damn straight brother!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Who honestly wants a crying wreck that wants her ex that can't handle booze and throws up leaving her scent ... cue the op who despite it all knows there's a shag.

Bit desperate really actually i couldnt agree more with this

It all sounds like a load of bollocks, just a white knight advertising

Wow I didn’t know a lite hearted post could turn into me being a white knight....

Ok I’ll bite , I have never white knighted nor will I ever be a white knight...You can check my green arrow for evidence...

So please do not class me with these desperate men you see on sex sites trying to have sex with anyone... I’m a cut above...

Now about this woman I went on a date with...

She is absolutely drop dead gorgeous... not Fab hot pics gorgeous.. But real world... no make up gorgeous..... and she can cook...

So you’re all are damn right, I’m going to see her again.... She has to pay my cleaning bill ....

I got the quote from the dry cleaner......

Chinchilla and Alpaca fur ain’t cheap to clean...."
well at least your prepared now for what the conscequences might be for meeting her again and wont be so shocked. Hope she doesnt up her game and piss the bed next time

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

Whatever the envious/jealous/jaded (insert your own adjective) neigh-sayers say... this was fucking hilarious.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"what i dont understand is how you let her get so d*unk if you where planning on having sex with her

He let her get d*unk? Do women not have their own mind anymore?yes but if i was in a situation with someone male or female id make it clear things wouldnt progress if they drank anymore"

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"what i dont understand is how you let her get so d*unk if you where planning on having sex with her

He let her get d*unk? Do women not have their own mind anymore?yes but if i was in a situation with someone male or female id make it clear things wouldnt progress if they drank anymore

It was more the " how you let her" comment that I was referring to though. There are two people there..just because one is female doesn't mean she shouldn't take responsibility for her own actions , surely it isn't about a man "letting" her get d*unk, they could have been both drinking the same amount and were both happy to carry on."
yes i worded it wrong but surely if she was so d*unk to the point of throwing up and passing out you would think there would be signs of slurred speech and other signs. Its not the fact shes a woman its the fact shes the one that cant handle her drink. If i was with a guy showing signs of being d*unk id ask if he thought he needed anymore and that things wouldnt go any further. I dont drink alcohol or offer it first time someone is at my house i dont trust any d*unk person i dont know but thats down to my bad experience over the years i know there are plenty of people that can have a few drinks on a first meet at someones house and be perfectly fine but this wasnt the case with the op hence him being so shocked

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

but surely if she was so d*unk to the point of throwing up and passing out you would think there would be signs of slurred speech and other signs. Its not the fact shes a woman its the fact shes the one that cant handle her drink. If i was with a guy showing signs of being d*unk id ask if he thought he needed anymore and that things wouldnt go any further.

They just cuddled and then slept, not sure he said she passed out. If they were both a bit d*unk which is how this sounds then I am not sure what each would notice.

I can count on the one hand how many times I have been d*unk in my life as I am not a drinker, but those times I was I didn't notice if the person I was with was d*unk too

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

They just cuddled and then slept, not sure he said she passed out. If they were both a bit d*unk which is how this sounds then I am not sure what each would notice.

I can count on the one hand how many times I have been d*unk in my life as I am not a drinker, but those times I was I didn't notice if the person I was with was d*unk too"
oh i read it as she got emotional and upset by her ex didnt want a taxi wanted to be cuddled then went to sleep and through up everywhere while the op came on here telling us about it. Maybe i read it wrong. I go out and get d*unk and am happy around d*unk friends i just wouldnt trust anyone i didnt know to be alone in my house to drink if i didnt know them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I worked it out

She was on top so he couldn’t move, also, if he was on top the poop wouldn’t have landed on his head.

Thanks for spending time working this out for me

Very funny all the same"

Could have been a floater

I can't believe I've just said that on an open forum

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

i just wouldnt trust anyone i didnt know to be alone in my house to drink if i didnt know them. "

You and me both, or the other way round, ie go to a strangers house

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do hope your bed sheets aren't made from unicorn skin

Else I think your fab career might just be over

On a more serious note is your rug actually made from alpaca skins

I wouldn't answer that one if I was you btw

Just saying

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

i just wouldnt trust anyone i didnt know to be alone in my house to drink if i didnt know them.

You and me both, or the other way round, ie go to a strangers house"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

They just cuddled and then slept, not sure he said she passed out. If they were both a bit d*unk which is how this sounds then I am not sure what each would notice.

I can count on the one hand how many times I have been d*unk in my life as I am not a drinker, but those times I was I didn't notice if the person I was with was d*unk toooh i read it as she got emotional and upset by her ex didnt want a taxi wanted to be cuddled then went to sleep and through up everywhere while the op came on here telling us about it. Maybe i read it wrong. I go out and get d*unk and am happy around d*unk friends i just wouldnt trust anyone i didnt know to be alone in my house to drink if i didnt know them. "

Ok let me clear things up for you.....

We had dinner first and at dinner we shared 1 bottle of wine.... we had great banter and decided to go back to my place for a night cap...

At My place I had a few bottles of champagne that were given to me as Christmas gifts from clients and colleagues....

So we decided to open 2 bottles..... we drank equally amounts but she admitted she hasn’t had champagne in a long time....

During our drinking we moved to the bedroom.... we started kissing and undressing each other in a rush to fulfill our carnal desires....

We she got undressed only to her thongs , she halted all action .... she then proceeded to tell me all about her ex and their relationship... Me being in a very precarious situation... I sat and listened to her and she began to cry....

I told her it’s okay... I understand, would she like me to call her a Uber..

She replied “ No , can you please just hold me “

So I held her until she fell asleep.....

Me being horny and not wanting to waste a half a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.... I went into my living room and decided to post on the forums and finish the bottle.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Op

Do hope your bed sheets aren't made from unicorn skin

Else I think your fab career might just be over

On a more serious note is your rug actually made from alpaca skins

I wouldn't answer that one if I was you btw

Just saying "

No my bedsheets are made from Egyptian cotton . I only buy 80 thread count or higher....

Yes my rugs are made from Alpaca fur/wool , I also have a Fur coat.... I don’t wear it anymore because I honestly look like a silver back gorilla in pictures when I used to wear it...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

They just cuddled and then slept, not sure he said she passed out. If they were both a bit d*unk which is how this sounds then I am not sure what each would notice.

Ok let me clear things up for you.....

We had dinner first and at dinner we shared 1 bottle of wine.... we had great banter and decided to go back to my place for a night cap...

At My place I had a few bottles of champagne that were given to me as Christmas gifts from clients and colleagues....

So we decided to open 2 bottles..... we drank equally amounts but she admitted she hasn’t had champagne in a long time....

During our drinking we moved to the bedroom.... we started kissing and undressing each other in a rush to fulfill our carnal desires....

I told her it’s okay... I understand, would she like me to call her a Uber..

She replied “ No , can you please just hold me “

So I held her until she fell asleep.....

Me being horny and not wanting to waste a half a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.... I went into my living room and decided to post on the forums and finish the bottle.....

"
you described it as the date from hell and being held hostage your not now going to tell us you over played the whole thing. Anyway she might be an amazing girl but at least if she does a repeat performance you already know how much its going to cost to get your alpacs cleaned.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

They just cuddled and then slept, not sure he said she passed out. If they were both a bit d*unk which is how this sounds then I am not sure what each would notice.

Ok let me clear things up for you.....

We had dinner first and at dinner we shared 1 bottle of wine.... we had great banter and decided to go back to my place for a night cap...

At My place I had a few bottles of champagne that were given to me as Christmas gifts from clients and colleagues....

So we decided to open 2 bottles..... we drank equally amounts but she admitted she hasn’t had champagne in a long time....

During our drinking we moved to the bedroom.... we started kissing and undressing each other in a rush to fulfill our carnal desires....

I told her it’s okay... I understand, would she like me to call her a Uber..

She replied “ No , can you please just hold me “

So I held her until she fell asleep.....

Me being horny and not wanting to waste a half a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.... I went into my living room and decided to post on the forums and finish the bottle.....

you described it as the date from hell and being held hostage your not now going to tell us you over played the whole thing. Anyway she might be an amazing girl but at least if she does a repeat performance you already know how much its going to cost to get your alpacs cleaned.

Well honestly it started out as the date from hell... I had a stranger sick in my house, but she redeemed herself in the morning....

Honestly I made this thread to kill some time while I finished drinking...

This was supposed to be just for laughs but like everything in the forums... instead of people sharing their experiences , it turns into people having a dig....

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

They just cuddled and then slept, not sure he said she passed out. If they were both a bit d*unk which is how this sounds then I am not sure what each would notice.

Ok let me clear things up for you.....

We had dinner first and at dinner we shared 1 bottle of wine.... we had great banter and decided to go back to my place for a night cap...

At My place I had a few bottles of champagne that were given to me as Christmas gifts from clients and colleagues....

So we decided to open 2 bottles..... we drank equally amounts but she admitted she hasn’t had champagne in a long time....

During our drinking we moved to the bedroom.... we started kissing and undressing each other in a rush to fulfill our carnal desires....

I told her it’s okay... I understand, would she like me to call her a Uber..

She replied “ No , can you please just hold me “

So I held her until she fell asleep.....

Me being horny and not wanting to waste a half a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.... I went into my living room and decided to post on the forums and finish the bottle.....

Well honestly it started out as the date from hell... I had a stranger sick in my house, but she redeemed herself in the morning....

Honestly I made this thread to kill some time while I finished drinking...

This was supposed to be just for laughs but like everything in the forums... instead of people sharing their experiences , it turns into people having a dig...."
people can only base there answers on information given anyway look on the positive side

You wont be shocked if it happens again

your alpacos got mentioned on the forums and the next time someone throws up on them you will already know how much they cost to be cleaned. However if it was me id be hiding the alpacos before having vizitors

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They just cuddled and then slept, not sure he said she passed out. If they were both a bit d*unk which is how this sounds then I am not sure what each would notice.

Ok let me clear things up for you.....

We had dinner first and at dinner we shared 1 bottle of wine.... we had great banter and decided to go back to my place for a night cap...

At My place I had a few bottles of champagne that were given to me as Christmas gifts from clients and colleagues....

So we decided to open 2 bottles..... we drank equally amounts but she admitted she hasn’t had champagne in a long time....

During our drinking we moved to the bedroom.... we started kissing and undressing each other in a rush to fulfill our carnal desires....

I told her it’s okay... I understand, would she like me to call her a Uber..

She replied “ No , can you please just hold me “

So I held her until she fell asleep.....

Me being horny and not wanting to waste a half a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.... I went into my living room and decided to post on the forums and finish the bottle.....

Well honestly it started out as the date from hell... I had a stranger sick in my house, but she redeemed herself in the morning....

Honestly I made this thread to kill some time while I finished drinking...

This was supposed to be just for laughs but like everything in the forums... instead of people sharing their experiences , it turns into people having a dig...."

I found this thread most amusing ... Keep them coming loololol

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