FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Abusive message
Abusive message
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Just scrolling through the status update pages local and the whole of Fab and I am surprised by the amount of abusive messages that seem to get sent. What is wrong with people, sure nobody likes to be regected but to then abuse someone it’s really quite sad.. I think that if someone says no then move along..Respect is the thing that seems to be lacking in all walks of life at the moment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well put OP 
"life is for living , because we are a long time dead"
So why get wound up over rejection
J  |
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We had one the other day totally out of the blue, have never spoken to the user and best of all it was a "couple" so thats testimony not all the"bad guys" on here are males!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got really thick skin (figuratively speaking, I'm not an actual rhinoceros) and some of the rejection messages I get are so rude, out of order and infuriating.
Still there's some diamonds in the mire of utter shite! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of them are despos with dubious accounts and verifications, they can't take no.
Asked a supposedly cpl to verify on Kik, he said Mrs not present. So I said ping us when you both present and we wil cam chat.
He started abusing lol
Needless to say we blocked him straight away.
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As I put in my original post I don’t get it.. I’ve had plenty of no thanks messages from couples and a polite ‘no problems thanks for replying’ message is all I’ll send.. |
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"As I put in my original post I don’t get it.. I’ve had plenty of no thanks messages from couples and a polite ‘no problems thanks for replying’ message is all I’ll send.."
Likewise. Especially when they've taken the trouble to reply, the least that can be done is to thank them for their response, which I do unless it's a rude or nasty response, then I just don't bother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Friend of mine deleted her account today because of an abusive message.
She had been on here before but this time I don't think she will return. Shame as she is lovely but thankfully I talk to her away from here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've got really thick skin (figuratively speaking, I'm not an actual rhinoceros) "
Genuinely gutted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree. No need to be rude and abusive.yes it's tough that people have types and sizes and you won't be what they are looking for.
It's life. No body owns anything or owes anyone a explanation if it's not working out any more. Yes it's understanding that it's hurts
But that is your ego that is wounded so don't lower yourself and then be the reason no one wants to meet up with you at all.
You are not responsible for How others think or how they feel,You are responsible for How you react.
It's meant to be fun to explore new possibilities and meet new people and become friends,maybe sometimes more. Some do end up getting together and marrying. It's what you make out it. |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
I find they're particularly worse atm. Could be a case if taking your January blues out on others  |
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I get a shit stream of abuse every day for not replying, or replying and often for just having a profile. I have searched every inch of my house and I don't have a single fuck left to give. I used to wonder whether these folk had nothing more productive to with their time but actually I don't care lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes it's embarassing being male the way some behave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is exactly why ive stopped responding saying no thank you. As a few times i have, i get replies like "didnt want to sleep with you anyways you ugly fat fuck". My confidence is pretty low as it is, people dont realise how much it can effect you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is exactly why ive stopped responding saying no thank you. As a few times i have, i get replies like "didnt want to sleep with you anyways you ugly fat fuck". My confidence is pretty low as it is, people dont realise how much it can effect you. "
Idiots i have never been rude on fab to a woman even when they have been nasty
Rise above it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is exactly why ive stopped responding saying no thank you. As a few times i have, i get replies like "didnt want to sleep with you anyways you ugly fat fuck". My confidence is pretty low as it is, people dont realise how much it can effect you. "
I think part of this is an unfortunate consequence of the techno world that we live in. Some think that they have the right to act with impunity from the other side of keyboard in a way that they wouldn't face to face. On the plus side, see it as confirmation of a lucky escape! It says everything about them and nothing about you. |
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"This is exactly why ive stopped responding saying no thank you. As a few times i have, i get replies like "didnt want to sleep with you anyways you ugly fat fuck". My confidence is pretty low as it is, people dont realise how much it can effect you.
I think part of this is an unfortunate consequence of the techno world that we live in. Some think that they have the right to act with impunity from the other side of keyboard in a way that they wouldn't face to face. On the plus side, see it as confirmation of a lucky escape! It says everything about them and nothing about you."
Yep totally agree with this  |
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And I thought this was an "adult" site where everyone is expected to behave like "adults"? |
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I got a message asking why i had diary and wrc ob my status as they didn't get it.
I think he was hoping it read naughty girl looking for a sexual evening of passion
Think I disappointed him |
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Some people will abuse you for saying thanks but no thanks, bye, not my type and any other polite rejection and then guys wonder why women straight delete! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get them all the time if Iv said no thank you...always reported and blocked...my block list is enormous hard to keep the faith on here sometimes when it’s every day |
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I never get these, in the 18 months I've been in here.
(Think I've had maybe 5)
Presume we are all fishing in the same pool, so not sure what I'm doing different to the people who get all the abuse. |
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By *corcherMan
over a year ago
Loughborough |
You know I never thought of it like that. It knocks your confidence when no-one replies to you, but it's got to be just as bad receiving a torrent of abuse.
Makes you wonder why we bother. But then you meet nice people... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have lots of popular friends on fab . Sometimes they can get 100's of messages a day.. It's really hard for them to respond to the nice ones.
After I've sent a message and they reply with a they're not interested in me I always reply with a "Thank you for your polite reply. Happy Fabbing"
I then move on .. We can't all like the same things in life
I then put a note next to their account to say I'm not for them.... Saves me resending another message at a later date when you can't remember what the conversation was about. That's what it's for. I use this great facility often x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some don't even send an abusive message when they've been rejected. Some will send it for no other reason than to make someone feel completely shit about themselves. |
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We have had a few people get rude about our age gap. It's really not difficult to just say sorry not our type
X |
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"Just scrolling through the status update pages local and the whole of Fab and I am surprised by the amount of abusive messages that seem to get sent. What is wrong with people, sure nobody likes to be regected but to then abuse someone it’s really quite sad.. I think that if someone says no then move along..Respect is the thing that seems to be lacking in all walks of life at the moment "
Sad keyboard warriors with no social skills.
I feel a little sorry for them really.
I wouldn't like to go through life with such unnecessary angst. |
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"I've got really thick skin (figuratively speaking, I'm not an actual rhinoceros) and some of the rejection messages I get are so rude, out of order and infuriating.
Still there's some diamonds in the mire of utter shite! "
I've looked at you profile and unless I'm missing something I can't why you'd get rude rejection messages, especially ones that are 'rude, out of order and infuriating.' Hey I've got a beard, you want to see how rejectable I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly this is why I never messaged people first....
I’d rather be hunted than hunter |
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By *amRod64Man
over a year ago
Gravesend |
Never ever had an abusive response in all the time I’ve been here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get them pretty much on daily basis, I'm quite used to it. Not nice of course but this is life. Not different to real life tbh as men cannot handle rejection everywhere. Block and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op. You don’t even need to reject someone to get abuse.
On my own account I’ve been in the middle of a conversation and it turned into a verbal assault from a woman.
On our couples account a guy turned nasty before we said no to him.
It’s certainly nothing to put me off, people give good vibes or bad vibes , it’s hanging around with the good ones that is important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you can't take being told no or being rejected (for want of a better word) you shouldn't be on here.
Grow up and treat people how you would like to be treated.
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It’s just the nature of the beast I’m afraid . The internet generally affords anonymity which certain individuals use as free license . I like to think I treat as I find . Sometimes it’s difficult not to get sucked in . |
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A dented male ego is a terrible thing. The Adonis effect kicks in. How dare they reject me, I'm not having this screeches through their tiny little mind. Their ego protection not coping with rejection defence mechanism chuggs into life, like a misfiring two stroke lawnmower engines first start up after a long cold winter. The end result? An abusive or insulting message. A limited thinking process produces limited low end replies. We just see it as a dodged bullet. |
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"A dented male ego is a terrible thing. The Adonis effect kicks in. How dare they reject me, I'm not having this screeches through their tiny little mind. Their ego protection not coping with rejection defence mechanism chuggs into life, like a misfiring two stroke lawnmower engines first start up after a long cold winter. The end result? An abusive or insulting message. A limited thinking process produces limited low end replies. We just see it as a dodged bullet."
I understand that, but still not had a plausible explanation why some people seem to get loads of abusive messages while some of us get none.
I get hundreds of messages a week (probably around the 400 mark on a slow week), reject the majority with a " nice but not for me" message but never get abuse.
I very very rarely have to block either.
Any thoughts on why that might be? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why surprised?
Women are often attacked with acid, murdered, sexually assaulted for rejecting men.
It often starts with words, messages, verbal abuse.
More importantly the sense of entitlement to women's bodies starts before this. If you grow up believing women's bodies are yours for the taking, your beliefs will become your actions.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people are just shits, in real life and online, so just move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A dented male ego is a terrible thing. The Adonis effect kicks in. How dare they reject me, I'm not having this screeches through their tiny little mind. Their ego protection not coping with rejection defence mechanism chuggs into life, like a misfiring two stroke lawnmower engines first start up after a long cold winter. The end result? An abusive or insulting message. A limited thinking process produces limited low end replies. We just see it as a dodged bullet.
I understand that, but still not had a plausible explanation why some people seem to get loads of abusive messages while some of us get none.
I get hundreds of messages a week (probably around the 400 mark on a slow week), reject the majority with a " nice but not for me" message but never get abuse.
I very very rarely have to block either.
Any thoughts on why that might be?"
Count yourself lucky. What happens is that there is enough of it to be a problem to other women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get more abusive messages than we do nice ones.
Usually when we reply with a " no thanks,not for us but good luck".
Of course,once they are abusive,we straight away change our mind and say "of course we will meet you"
So now,we very rarely reply back.
The actions of the many affect the few  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get more abusive messages than we do nice ones.
So now,we very rarely reply back.
The actions of the many affect the few "
And these facts for people in here are a shame. |
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"We get more abusive messages than we do nice ones.
Usually when we reply with a " no thanks,not for us but good luck".
Of course,once they are abusive,we straight away change our mind and say "of course we will meet you"
So now,we very rarely reply back.
The actions of the many affect the few "
Without exception we've found them to be absolute cowards. They send an abusive message then block so we can't reply (Not that we would). They're that special kind of coward that won't say anything to your face in the street, but they'll issue threats when they're running away on the other side of the road. |
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"This is exactly why ive stopped responding saying no thank you. As a few times i have, i get replies like "didnt want to sleep with you anyways you ugly fat fuck". My confidence is pretty low as it is, people dont realise how much it can effect you. "
You're better than anyone who abuses strangers online. I'm not damning you with faint praise, although abusing strangers online is pond scum level.
You are beautiful and valuable just as you are. Fab is incredibly difficult for confidence. I've grown a thick skin, and I take the genuine compliments (and criticism) from those who know me, and reject the rest as so much noise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Without exception we've found them to be absolute cowards. They send an abusive message then block so we can't reply (Not that we would). They're that special kind of coward that won't say anything to your face in the street, but they'll issue threats when they're running away on the other side of the road."
We block them straight back so if they unblock us to perve, they can't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've never had an abusive msg on here! Even on my single profile with hundreds of msgs, I never received any abuse.....just lucky I guess but then who would want to get abusive to little ole me?
The only 'abuse' rooted in fab was from an aggrieved partner so we stay well clear of attached couples unless they have a joint profile now |
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I had a sudden increase of them, I questioned one in particular the other day because I have quite thick skin and they don't really both me in general, but the message was so degrading about women. It was nasty.
The most random ones I get are when I haven't even talked to the person or recieved even a message from them before and they just send all sorts of abuse.
Any attention, be it positive or the negative kind is just attention all the same to them. |
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Its the saddest fact about fab that frustrated people get nasty when declined. A pointless thing to do and gets you a bad reputation on here as people do talk and pass on who is nasty and best avoided. |
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"I had a sudden increase of them, I questioned one in particular the other day because I have quite thick skin and they don't really both me in general, but the message was so degrading about women. It was nasty.
The most random ones I get are when I haven't even talked to the person or recieved even a message from them before and they just send all sorts of abuse.
Any attention, be it positive or the negative kind is just attention all the same to them. "
I see all sorts of statuses degrading women (from people looking for women). I don't get it. I do block them on sight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A friend of mine recieved an abusive message on here yesterday...so i could see what was said it was C & Pd and posted on kik... to say I was shocked was an understatement  it was disgusting!
My friend is a man who responded politely to the message from a woman but got a load of abuse for his trouble, which i think is really sad |
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"I had a sudden increase of them, I questioned one in particular the other day because I have quite thick skin and they don't really both me in general, but the message was so degrading about women. It was nasty.
The most random ones I get are when I haven't even talked to the person or recieved even a message from them before and they just send all sorts of abuse.
Any attention, be it positive or the negative kind is just attention all the same to them. "
They're not sad lonely men for no reason. Chances are their foul view of women on here carries through subconsciously into the real world. |
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"I had a sudden increase of them, I questioned one in particular the other day because I have quite thick skin and they don't really both me in general, but the message was so degrading about women. It was nasty.
The most random ones I get are when I haven't even talked to the person or recieved even a message from them before and they just send all sorts of abuse.
Any attention, be it positive or the negative kind is just attention all the same to them.
They're not sad lonely men for no reason. Chances are their foul view of women on here carries through subconsciously into the real world."
Oh for sure. There's definitely a subset of men who want the world handed to them on a plate, don't help themselves, and blame everyone else when the world doesn't work like that.
When I was a gawky teenager and no one was interested in me, I blamed myself. That's not right either, but a degree of introspection is the right place to start. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just scrolling through the status update pages local and the whole of Fab and I am surprised by the amount of abusive messages that seem to get sent. What is wrong with people, sure nobody likes to be regected but to then abuse someone it’s really quite sad.. I think that if someone says no then move along..Respect is the thing that seems to be lacking in all walks of life at the moment "
We had an absolute horror yesterday from a new black guy aimed at my wife for letting dirty white men put their dirty dicks in her embarrassment to the black race of a face. Not the exact message as we aren't allowed but close enough.
Thankfully the admins made him vanish faulty quickly. |
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"I had a sudden increase of them, I questioned one in particular the other day because I have quite thick skin and they don't really both me in general, but the message was so degrading about women. It was nasty.
The most random ones I get are when I haven't even talked to the person or recieved even a message from them before and they just send all sorts of abuse.
Any attention, be it positive or the negative kind is just attention all the same to them.
I see all sorts of statuses degrading women (from people looking for women). I don't get it. I do block them on sight. "
Never had one of those before, usually aimed at me, my sexual interests, how I look, abusive names as I enjoy sex (it's ok for them to be on here but not us women).
I think you have to have a fairly thick skinned to be on here in the beginning, 5 years ago It maybe would of got to me but I don't care now.
If you're effected by what's said (and I've seen female profiles that take it quite badly) then it's not good for you mentally as it could make you quite low in confidence. |
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On this profile I get quite a few.... On our couples profile... None! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A friend of mine recieved an abusive message on here yesterday...so i could see what was said it was C & Pd and posted on kik... to say I was shocked was an understatement it was disgusting!
My friend is a man who responded politely to the message from a woman but got a load of abuse for his trouble, which i think is really sad "
Please don’t bring up men getting abuse from couples and females after declining them.....
It’s a subject that is unwanted in a man bashing thread..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is exactly why ive stopped responding saying no thank you. As a few times i have, i get replies like "didnt want to sleep with you anyways you ugly fat fuck". My confidence is pretty low as it is, people dont realise how much it can effect you. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a few nasty messages when I was number one on hot pics, basically telling me I have no right to be there and threatening to smash my face in. It’s horrible receiving them, I try not to take it to heart but when you’re putting yourself out there, that’s the risk you take I guess. I block and move on, disgusting behaviour = disgusting people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a few nasty messages when I was number one on hot pics, basically telling me I have no right to be there and threatening to smash my face in. It’s horrible receiving them, I try not to take it to heart but when you’re putting yourself out there, that’s the risk you take I guess. I block and move on, disgusting behaviour = disgusting people "
That seems a bit extreme I hope you reported them to admin
By the way your photos are really good especially the outdoors ones |
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