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Give me another option besides ghosting

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I’ve read on here that ghosting is pure cowardice...

So please good people of Fab give me another option....

Met a girl through a mutual friend.. She works with my friends wife... We went on 2 dates , but I didn’t feel a spark... I’ve kept communication pleasant because we socialize in the same circles...

Now for the past week she has been asking me to hangout.. I have told her I’m very busy with work and won’t be available until I come back from London....

I just got invited to dinner with my friends and surprise surprise, this woman is going to be there.....

So what options do I have but to block her?

Keep in mind no sex was involved nor talking about a relationship....

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Oh dear.....awkward!!

You obviously think she would like more than just friendship. You need to tell her you're not interested.

Did your mutual friends invite you both because they think you may become an item?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Oh dear.....awkward!!

You obviously think she would like more than just friendship. You need to tell her you're not interested.

Did your mutual friends invite you both because they think you may become an item?"

Yes they’re playing matchmaker and think we are perfect...

I also told her I’m not interested in a relationship and very busy with my career...

We never even kissed.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just be honest and tell her you don't feel like there is much there outside of maybe friendship.

In the long run it's going to be better than just ghosting her, I personally hate that whole practice - just have the balls to be honest and face the consequences. Otherwise it's taking the easy, and disrespectful way out.

She make taken it well, she may not. Ghosting from the sounds of it will be awkward due to the same social circle. If she can't handle the (polite) rejection then that's on her and you should not feel guilty for it.

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man  over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare


"Now for the past week she has been asking me to hangout.. I have told her I’m very busy with work and won’t be available until I come back from London...."

Here's the problem.

When you tell someone you're not available until after a certain date, there's a good chance they're gonna assume you are available after that date. You just need to say words to the effect of "no thanks, I'm not really interested". It's not the easiest thing to say to somebody, but sometimes it's necessary.

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By *ade and VanessaCouple  over a year ago

Central Scotland

Whatever happened to honesty and telling her you like her as part of your friend group but don't want anything more? Tell the mutual friends the same if they're trying to set you up so they back off.

V x

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By *litterbabeWoman  over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I would just say you don't feel you have that vibe together.

Somehow it feels less like rejection but still conveys your feelings.

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham

Agreed this is awkward but honesty is still the best policy.

It might also be worth telling your friends you're happy to socialise but that she's not your type. In case they think they are doing a great matchmaking job

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By *eal Deal PartiesWoman  over a year ago

x


"I’ve read on here that ghosting is pure cowardice...

So please good people of Fab give me another option....

Met a girl through a mutual friend.. She works with my friends wife... We went on 2 dates , but I didn’t feel a spark... I’ve kept communication pleasant because we socialize in the same circles...

Now for the past week she has been asking me to hangout.. I have told her I’m very busy with work and won’t be available until I come back from London....

I just got invited to dinner with my friends and surprise surprise, this woman is going to be there.....

So what options do I have but to block her?

Keep in mind no sex was involved nor talking about a relationship...."

Tell her yr not interested.. honesty is the best way

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By *aisyDDWoman  over a year ago

North West

You need to be a bit more specific. If you tell her you are busy she’ll wait till you are not busy. Just tell her you don’t see it going anywhere with her. It stings but it’s also way easier to move on than sitting waiting to hear from someone

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Tell your friends to butt out or ghost.

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By *inxy300Woman  over a year ago

nottinghamshire

I agree with all the rest of the postings.

Just tell her and ya mate

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ok she is attending dinner when your there.

Be civil, be polite throughout the evening. Towards the end or at the end I would just say can I have a word a minute.

Make it private, thank her for any interest shown in you and say gently that the attraction isn't mutual.

It can be done gently and privately. No need for any embarrassment or others to hear.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Used to get this a lot and got pressurized into meetings.

In the end i told my matchmaking friends to f#£k off. Told them straight that if they tried anymore of their nonsense i would bin them as well.

Never followed up on it, now stuck with their 'perfect' match, they are so happy woth themselves over it, my life sucks. Thanks for that.

So no, don't ghost.

Don't say you aren't available just now.

Just say you aren't interested.

Or better still, take a date of your own along with you. Makes it so socially awkward your 'friends' wont ever want to be in that position again, and leave you in peace.

Oops.

Didn't mean to go off on one.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Tell her straight. If you are ok with just hanging out in your group of friends, do that.

If not, tell your friends to not invite you if she has been invited.

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If you go to the dinner you need to tell the lady in question and your other friends that there is nothing but friendship going on before you all have a cosy night in! Otherwise it could possibly be even more awkwarder

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok she is attending dinner when your there.

Be civil, be polite throughout the evening. Towards the end or at the end I would just say can I have a word a minute.

Make it private, thank her for any interest shown in you and say gently that the attraction isn't mutual.

It can be done gently and privately. No need for any embarrassment or others to hear.

"

spot on

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By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough

If it were me... i would decline the dinner invitation. It could be terribly awkward. You need to tell your friend honestly and then have a clear and kind conversation with the woman.

V x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

I think you should continue your rejection of any meeting with her via remote communication, so that you can speak in person, when you do get together, such as your friends' organised meeting.

Then privately and with full sensitivity, you can explain your situation. She may not be interested in anything other than friendship, so your thoughts may not reflect what her position is. But it's wise that you're not leading her on, which is good. When you're face to face, it's much easier and you're able to get feedback from someone else, that isn't available via text messages etc.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Use a rented house to take them back to always use a burner phone never carry id always pay by cash and never let them take a picture then when you don't like them ghost them burn your clothes make your self disappear.

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By *hrisUB3Man  over a year ago

Heathrow

Tell her if she keeps on stalking you, you will go to the police. That should stop it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

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By *r.BlondeMan  over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

"

Tell her you're a Swinger and watch her run a mile.

Other than that just put on your bigboy boots and tell her Straight.

Ghosting is cowardly and you're more of a man than that in my eyes.

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

"

Why are your friends doing this then?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

"

Is she maybe not just wanting to hang out as friends then? Entirely possible so long as you have been clear with her and she knows the deal.

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By *aughtybutniceBBWWoman  over a year ago

The County of Northamptonshire

Be honest.

"Sorry, but I just don't feel spark," maybe say you can remain friends to make it less awkward.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

Tell her you're a Swinger and watch her run a mile.

Other than that just put on your bigboy boots and tell her Straight.

Ghosting is cowardly and you're more of a man than that in my eyes."

You see I didn’t want to give away to much information but it looks like it has to be done....

The female in question is a nice person.. the only thing I didn’t like about her was the fact. I find her to be spoiled... at 28 her parents pay all her bills and she uses her money to take vacations and make sure she looks good...

I’m a self made man and I like self made women... I’m nouveau riche and I want to date and marry nouveau riche... I have dated old money women in the past and we are never going to match....

After our last date... I explained this to her explicitly and I also told her I’m not emotionally available due to the fact I’m focusing on my career....

I explained to my match making friends this fact also. but their retort was she is a very kind and nice girl... I should give her a chance... she really likes you...

Now I see everyone saying I should talk to her again... but why should I repeat myself?

If in 2019 you can’t take a hint, why shouldn’t you be ghosted?

I’m not a coward, if someone told me they are not interested in a relationship and I persisted on contacting them. I would be called a stalker...

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By *r.BlondeMan  over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

Tell her you're a Swinger and watch her run a mile.

Other than that just put on your bigboy boots and tell her Straight.

Ghosting is cowardly and you're more of a man than that in my eyes.

You see I didn’t want to give away to much information but it looks like it has to be done....

The female in question is a nice person.. the only thing I didn’t like about her was the fact. I find her to be spoiled... at 28 her parents pay all her bills and she uses her money to take vacations and make sure she looks good...

I’m a self made man and I like self made women... I’m nouveau riche and I want to date and marry nouveau riche... I have dated old money women in the past and we are never going to match....

After our last date... I explained this to her explicitly and I also told her I’m not emotionally available due to the fact I’m focusing on my career....

I explained to my match making friends this fact also. but their retort was she is a very kind and nice girl... I should give her a chance... she really likes you...

Now I see everyone saying I should talk to her again... but why should I repeat myself?

If in 2019 you can’t take a hint, why shouldn’t you be ghosted?

I’m not a coward, if someone told me they are not interested in a relationship and I persisted on contacting them. I would be called a stalker...

"

She might be an easy bang though.

People want what they can't have, you're too much of a catch you gotta play that shit down.

Girls kind of get away with it because they're not used to being fired by men.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

Tell her you're a Swinger and watch her run a mile.

Other than that just put on your bigboy boots and tell her Straight.

Ghosting is cowardly and you're more of a man than that in my eyes.

You see I didn’t want to give away to much information but it looks like it has to be done....

The female in question is a nice person.. the only thing I didn’t like about her was the fact. I find her to be spoiled... at 28 her parents pay all her bills and she uses her money to take vacations and make sure she looks good...

I’m a self made man and I like self made women... I’m nouveau riche and I want to date and marry nouveau riche... I have dated old money women in the past and we are never going to match....

After our last date... I explained this to her explicitly and I also told her I’m not emotionally available due to the fact I’m focusing on my career....

I explained to my match making friends this fact also. but their retort was she is a very kind and nice girl... I should give her a chance... she really likes you...

Now I see everyone saying I should talk to her again... but why should I repeat myself?

If in 2019 you can’t take a hint, why shouldn’t you be ghosted?

I’m not a coward, if someone told me they are not interested in a relationship and I persisted on contacting them. I would be called a stalker...

"

dated old money"who are you Henry the 8th tell go on anougher date and tell her you think she is a spoilt brat she will dump you problem solved

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By *olfAndKittenCouple  over a year ago

Bristol

Considering all the good advice on here, time for some silly bits...

1) tell her you are gay and in the closet

2) show her your fab profile and see if she fancys a 3sum

3) take her clubbing... Any local swing club will do

4) tell her your last STI check came back and it's gonna take more than a course of penicillin

5) at the dinner, each time she sits scream "MY CHAIR!" eat food off her plate, slop it about before shoving the plate back at her and go "pig swill"

6) if all else fails just call the host of the party and say "sorry bud, can't make it cause I died this morning... See you in 2 days time"

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By *_BelleRose_xCouple  over a year ago

worcester

Well ur not exclusive so send a message to your friends and ask if you able to bring someone ? Then answer them accordingly - so

Our friends coming as ur date - oh I’m sorry we are just friends I don’t see her that way

Why would you want to when (insertname of friend here) is coming - well because we are just friend I don’t see her that way

Or just say fuck it and tell them u can’t go cuz u have a date

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By *_BelleRose_xCouple  over a year ago

worcester


"Use a rented house to take them back to always use a burner phone never carry id always pay by cash and never let them take a picture then when you don't like them ghost them burn your clothes make your self disappear."

This

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

Tell her you're a Swinger and watch her run a mile.

Other than that just put on your bigboy boots and tell her Straight.

Ghosting is cowardly and you're more of a man than that in my eyes.

You see I didn’t want to give away to much information but it looks like it has to be done....

The female in question is a nice person.. the only thing I didn’t like about her was the fact. I find her to be spoiled... at 28 her parents pay all her bills and she uses her money to take vacations and make sure she looks good...

I’m a self made man and I like self made women... I’m nouveau riche and I want to date and marry nouveau riche... I have dated old money women in the past and we are never going to match....

After our last date... I explained this to her explicitly and I also told her I’m not emotionally available due to the fact I’m focusing on my career....

I explained to my match making friends this fact also. but their retort was she is a very kind and nice girl... I should give her a chance... she really likes you...

Now I see everyone saying I should talk to her again... but why should I repeat myself?

If in 2019 you can’t take a hint, why shouldn’t you be ghosted?

I’m not a coward, if someone told me they are not interested in a relationship and I persisted on contacting them. I would be called a stalker...

"

See now if you were a woman writing that everyone would tell you to cut all contact, don't respond to messages and would call the guy pushy.

I believe the same should apply to you. You don't want anything to do with her, you've told her and the people who claim to be your friends this. In my opinion you have no option but to ignore all further contact from this lady and have a very serious conversation with your friends who seem to be encouraging this.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Personally I think the best suggestion so far is take a date to the dinner

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

To late to get a date for dinner.....

I just canceled on them... told them I’m coming down with the flu....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

Tell her you're a Swinger and watch her run a mile.

Other than that just put on your bigboy boots and tell her Straight.

Ghosting is cowardly and you're more of a man than that in my eyes.

You see I didn’t want to give away to much information but it looks like it has to be done....

The female in question is a nice person.. the only thing I didn’t like about her was the fact. I find her to be spoiled... at 28 her parents pay all her bills and she uses her money to take vacations and make sure she looks good...

I’m a self made man and I like self made women... I’m nouveau riche and I want to date and marry nouveau riche... I have dated old money women in the past and we are never going to match....

After our last date... I explained this to her explicitly and I also told her I’m not emotionally available due to the fact I’m focusing on my career....

I explained to my match making friends this fact also. but their retort was she is a very kind and nice girl... I should give her a chance... she really likes you...

Now I see everyone saying I should talk to her again... but why should I repeat myself?

If in 2019 you can’t take a hint, why shouldn’t you be ghosted?

I’m not a coward, if someone told me they are not interested in a relationship and I persisted on contacting them. I would be called a stalker...

She might be an easy bang though.

People want what they can't have, you're too much of a catch you gotta play that shit down.

Girls kind of get away with it because they're not used to being fired by men. "

I would never have sex with her if I have no intention of being in a relationship...

Then I become known as the selfish jerk that uses women for sex at all party’s and social events in the future.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

Tell her you're a Swinger and watch her run a mile.

Other than that just put on your bigboy boots and tell her Straight.

Ghosting is cowardly and you're more of a man than that in my eyes.

You see I didn’t want to give away to much information but it looks like it has to be done....

The female in question is a nice person.. the only thing I didn’t like about her was the fact. I find her to be spoiled... at 28 her parents pay all her bills and she uses her money to take vacations and make sure she looks good...

I’m a self made man and I like self made women... I’m nouveau riche and I want to date and marry nouveau riche... I have dated old money women in the past and we are never going to match....

After our last date... I explained this to her explicitly and I also told her I’m not emotionally available due to the fact I’m focusing on my career....

I explained to my match making friends this fact also. but their retort was she is a very kind and nice girl... I should give her a chance... she really likes you...

Now I see everyone saying I should talk to her again... but why should I repeat myself?

If in 2019 you can’t take a hint, why shouldn’t you be ghosted?

I’m not a coward, if someone told me they are not interested in a relationship and I persisted on contacting them. I would be called a stalker...

dated old money"who are you Henry the 8th tell go on anougher date and tell her you think she is a spoilt brat she will dump you problem solved"

So I should take her on a third date to insult her? Ok

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By *eneral HysteriaMan  over a year ago

Newcastle

I'd rather no tell her anything that has a negative vibe - i.e. she's not for you, you don't like her old money (LOL @Henry VIII) etc.

Simply focus on the positives in your life, which will not include her. Tell her the kind of person you do like, the places you like to go (include some swinger clubs/resorts that she'd have to research). Big up some stuff you know she doesn't like - sports, fast cars, hot women - I dunno, there'll be something.

But stay positive or you'll think negative!

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By *eddonistikMan  over a year ago

Manchester

When it comes to relationships, ones you want or don't, honesty is the best path, I learned that the hard way.

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By *pider-WomanWoman  over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I just hope your right and dont make yourself look a cm tall

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By *_BelleRose_xCouple  over a year ago

worcester


"To late to get a date for dinner.....

I just canceled on them... told them I’m coming down with the flu...."

Believe me it’s the best option ! Get a date on dial for the next meet - good luck

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

Tell her you're a Swinger and watch her run a mile.

Other than that just put on your bigboy boots and tell her Straight.

Ghosting is cowardly and you're more of a man than that in my eyes.

You see I didn’t want to give away to much information but it looks like it has to be done....

The female in question is a nice person.. the only thing I didn’t like about her was the fact. I find her to be spoiled... at 28 her parents pay all her bills and she uses her money to take vacations and make sure she looks good...

I’m a self made man and I like self made women... I’m nouveau riche and I want to date and marry nouveau riche... I have dated old money women in the past and we are never going to match....

After our last date... I explained this to her explicitly and I also told her I’m not emotionally available due to the fact I’m focusing on my career....

I explained to my match making friends this fact also. but their retort was she is a very kind and nice girl... I should give her a chance... she really likes you...

Now I see everyone saying I should talk to her again... but why should I repeat myself?

If in 2019 you can’t take a hint, why shouldn’t you be ghosted?

I’m not a coward, if someone told me they are not interested in a relationship and I persisted on contacting them. I would be called a stalker...

"

Tell them all again politely that you're not interested in her. No spark etc.

If they persist with ignoring your wishes they are very disrespectful and then I'd agree with MrsNice- cut contact with all of them. They're not your friends if they make you feel uncomfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldn't find that I had an emotional attachment after 2 dates so ghosting wouldn't be possible but I have been in this situation a few times and I just friend zone them .... then there are no worries, awkwardness or difficult conversations necessary

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Professionals time is precious, I'm sure she would prefer an honest direct but tactful approach.

Ghosting is very much like Snapchat filters, both belong to the teenage population

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Professionals time is precious, I'm sure she would prefer an honest direct but tactful approach.

Ghosting is very much like Snapchat filters, both belong to the teenage population "

So does setting your friends up with people they aren't interested in

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Professionals time is precious, I'm sure she would prefer an honest direct but tactful approach.

Ghosting is very much like Snapchat filters, both belong to the teenage population

So does setting your friends up with people they aren't interested in"

Setting up dates isn't a waste. Just one of those things isn't it that he felt no spark. It's how he deals with it now

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Professionals time is precious, I'm sure she would prefer an honest direct but tactful approach.

Ghosting is very much like Snapchat filters, both belong to the teenage population

So does setting your friends up with people they aren't interested in

Setting up dates isn't a waste. Just one of those things isn't it that he felt no spark. It's how he deals with it now "

He's explained to the woman and his friends that he's not interested, he's explained why he's not interested. Yet they persist. To me that's a waste and inconsiderate. As I said above if the situation was reversed and a woman's friends were setting her up with a guy she had explained she wasn't interested in people would be calling it wrong

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By *r.BlondeMan  over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

Tell her you're a Swinger and watch her run a mile.

Other than that just put on your bigboy boots and tell her Straight.

Ghosting is cowardly and you're more of a man than that in my eyes.

You see I didn’t want to give away to much information but it looks like it has to be done....

The female in question is a nice person.. the only thing I didn’t like about her was the fact. I find her to be spoiled... at 28 her parents pay all her bills and she uses her money to take vacations and make sure she looks good...

I’m a self made man and I like self made women... I’m nouveau riche and I want to date and marry nouveau riche... I have dated old money women in the past and we are never going to match....

After our last date... I explained this to her explicitly and I also told her I’m not emotionally available due to the fact I’m focusing on my career....

I explained to my match making friends this fact also. but their retort was she is a very kind and nice girl... I should give her a chance... she really likes you...

Now I see everyone saying I should talk to her again... but why should I repeat myself?

If in 2019 you can’t take a hint, why shouldn’t you be ghosted?

I’m not a coward, if someone told me they are not interested in a relationship and I persisted on contacting them. I would be called a stalker...

She might be an easy bang though.

People want what they can't have, you're too much of a catch you gotta play that shit down.

Girls kind of get away with it because they're not used to being fired by men.

I would never have sex with her if I have no intention of being in a relationship...

Then I become known as the selfish jerk that uses women for sex at all party’s and social events in the future....."

I get ya, that's a reason why I'm on here really. No point in doing all the dates etc when you only want to have sex and they get hurt.

Women like a challenge though so that might lead to more sex.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Professionals time is precious, I'm sure she would prefer an honest direct but tactful approach.

Ghosting is very much like Snapchat filters, both belong to the teenage population

So does setting your friends up with people they aren't interested in

Setting up dates isn't a waste. Just one of those things isn't it that he felt no spark. It's how he deals with it now

He's explained to the woman and his friends that he's not interested, he's explained why he's not interested. Yet they persist. To me that's a waste and inconsiderate. As I said above if the situation was reversed and a woman's friends were setting her up with a guy she had explained she wasn't interested in people would be calling it wrong"

I've not read all the thread just the OP opening comment (hot guys too talk to I'm bound to miss things!). Indeed if he has expressed lack of interest already then job done. If they are persisting then I would consider if they are really my friends

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d tell them both one more time that you are not interested and if they persist in trying to coerce you into a relationship they have jeopardised the friendship be cause you don’t feel you are being heard and your wishes being respected.

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By *ickygirl41Woman  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I’ve read on here that ghosting is pure cowardice...

So please good people of Fab give me another option....

Met a girl through a mutual friend.. She works with my friends wife... We went on 2 dates , but I didn’t feel a spark... I’ve kept communication pleasant because we socialize in the same circles...

Now for the past week she has been asking me to hangout.. I have told her I’m very busy with work and won’t be available until I come back from London....

I just got invited to dinner with my friends and surprise surprise, this woman is going to be there.....

So what options do I have but to block her?

Keep in mind no sex was involved nor talking about a relationship...."

To her..."Hi, you're nice but I'm not feeling it."

To your Friends..."fuck off with the matchmaking I'm not into your taste for me"

Life is WAY too short to fib,lie or hide feelings. Honesty is simpler.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve read on here that ghosting is pure cowardice...

So please good people of Fab give me another option....

Met a girl through a mutual friend.. She works with my friends wife... We went on 2 dates , but I didn’t feel a spark... I’ve kept communication pleasant because we socialize in the same circles...

Now for the past week she has been asking me to hangout.. I have told her I’m very busy with work and won’t be available until I come back from London....

I just got invited to dinner with my friends and surprise surprise, this woman is going to be there.....

So what options do I have but to block her?

Keep in mind no sex was involved nor talking about a relationship....

To her..."Hi, you're nice but I'm not feeling it."

To your Friends..."fuck off with the matchmaking I'm not into your taste for me"

Life is WAY too short to fib,lie or hide feelings. Honesty is simpler."

Beautifully put, say this

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is the big problem......

I have communicated with her and my friends I’m not interested in a relationship....

"

Then, go to the meal and talk to her as if she is nothing but a friend. She, and your friends, know you're not interested in her so they won't be surprised if you are indifferent to her.

If she gets flirty with you, ignore it or tell her, in front of your friends, you aren't interested.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just tell her that you are not the type to stick to one woman and ae looking to shag around for a few years

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By *orticiaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral


"To late to get a date for dinner.....

I just canceled on them... told them I’m coming down with the flu...."

The trick is not to lie your way out of the situation.

If you tell them the real reason you’ve cancelled (ie, I’m not interested in her or in your matchmaking) they should get the message!

Otherwise they’ll reschedule for when your over the ‘flu!

Alternatively, give them a story that’ll make it clear you’re not interested - like you can’t come, you have a date ... with twins

The other option is to go, treat it like dinner with a group of mates, don’t flirt, talk about football, the hot girl at the gym, cars etc. Even ask their advice on a dating issue (is it ok to ask out a girl who used to date your boss etc) ... that way, it makes it very plain that you see her as a platonic relationship & nothing more.

If it’s a group of friends & not just 4 of you, then you could go, chat to other people & leaveearly without really interacting with her.

You’ve told them you’re not interested in her, so none of that is inappropriate

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman  over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Don't get why people need an instant spark with someone they don't even know?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Don't get why people need an instant spark with someone they don't even know?"

It’s not so much about a spark... it’s about things that are deal breakers in a relationship...

I have dated spoiled rich women in the past and it’s something I won’t ever do again...

So For instance if a person chooses not to date someone with children.....

How can they form a spark with a single parent?

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham


"To late to get a date for dinner.....

I just canceled on them... told them I’m coming down with the flu...."

From what I’ve read it seems that you’ve been straight with her and your friends already. They are the ones trying to force it along.

Ghosting means disappearing and leaving someone wondering. You’d not actually be doing that as you have said your reasons.

The question now is how do you feel about potentially not seeing your friends anymore? If they insist on pushing you together with people you’re not keen on are they really friends?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"To late to get a date for dinner.....

I just canceled on them... told them I’m coming down with the flu....

From what I’ve read it seems that you’ve been straight with her and your friends already. They are the ones trying to force it along.

Ghosting means disappearing and leaving someone wondering. You’d not actually be doing that as you have said your reasons.

The question now is how do you feel about potentially not seeing your friends anymore? If they insist on pushing you together with people you’re not keen on are they really friends?"

I really don’t think it will get to the extreme of not seeing them again....

When I spoke to the male half it’s more a case of the female nagging his wife to set us up... So once she gets the hint and stops nagging her... We should be good to go for summer party’s...

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

I don't understand this spark thing and why people have to go out to dinner to check for a spark, my experience is mainly swinging clubs, if I talk to a lady and I don't feel a hard on while talking to her and looking in her eyes in a swingers club environment, I don't bother, I don't think I need dinner to check that.

If I have a social, it is mainly the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I don't understand this spark thing and why people have to go out to dinner to check for a spark, my experience is mainly swinging clubs, if I talk to a lady and I don't feel a hard on while talking to her and looking in her eyes in a swingers club environment, I don't bother, I don't think I need dinner to check that.

If I have a social, it is mainly the same thing."

This is totally vanilla life...... this has nothing to do with swinging....

I date in real life.... I don’t date in the swinging world....

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