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By *reokink OP Man
over a year ago
London |
I have a couple of questions for all you couples out there. Our profile states that we only meet people in clubs on a go with the flow basis. That is in part because my partner feels that with a private meet there is an unwritten rule of obligation and expectation. For her that's unwanted mood killing extra pressure.
So here's the question.. Have you ever met other couples, shared a bed but not each other and considered it a fun night or do you consider that a vision of hellish frustration? |
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We have met couples on the understanding that we only swap if everyone agrees and also where we didn't swap at all. Some turned out very well and others didn't. None were frustrating in the sexual sense because with one exception we all agreed beforehand. |
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By *reokink OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"We have met couples on the understanding that we only swap if everyone agrees and also where we didn't swap at all. Some turned out very well and others didn't. None were frustrating in the sexual sense because with one exception we all agreed beforehand."
That's encouraging. Our concern is that some might say they are happy to just go with the flow but are secretly very much expectant to go all the way on the night. |
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If they say one thing but secretly mean another any disappointment on their part is entirely down to them. As long as you make your intent clear before and during a meet you won't have anything to reproach yourselves for.
We always, without exception have a social only meet first. This doesn't always out people who misrepresent their intentions e.g. men in couples who just want to watch but don't say that until last minute or women in couples who really aren't keen but use various "tactics" to stop things going ahead but it does help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple we generally look for single guys, just our thing but we would love to meet a couple for same room fun, nothing more unless it happened in the moment and everyone wanted it. Just be open and talk about what you want from the meet, not what's expected. We wouldn't expect anyone to do anything they wouldn't want and that's how it should always be. It's not fun if it's a chore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We started swinging by visiting clubs, and did so for a long time before joining this site.
After some time however we realised meeting people at clubs was far less complicated and felt far more ‘natural’, so completely understand where you’re coming from.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We started swinging by visiting clubs, and did so for a long time before joining this site.
After some time however we realised meeting people at clubs was far less complicated and felt far more ‘natural’, so completely understand where you’re coming from.
Completely agree, if you meet someone in a club there is no real pressure to play. If everyone is not 100% have a social and move on....
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi OP,
We state the same on our profile and do pretty much share your wife’s opinion that there would be a certain level of expectation to play during a meet unless it’s purely an agreed social. Wouldn’t go as far as to say an obligation because clearly that’s never the case but given that an amount of “vetting” will have probably occurred prior, I would imagine most people would arrive anticipating some level of play.
That said, we would happily meet people again if we had already met them within a club and had struck up a rapport/attraction  |
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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago
village life, closest main town inverness |
In complete agreement with your other half oreo,
and you still have a fun night out in a club even if nothing happens 
Never shared a bed no, lol, but we've met up with other couples and had
some really great nights out where you were just meeting up as friends,
can't say we have ever felt pressured by anyone to go further than we
were ready for tbh, everyone says the same "take it at your own pace"  |
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By *reokink OP Man
over a year ago
London |
Thanks to you all for getting back to me with such great feedback. Food for thought indeed.
I'm not one for putting anyone under pressure so if we do eventually venture down this route too it will be done with caution and very clear communication with all concerned.
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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago
Germany / Manchester |
"Have you ever met other couples, shared a bed but not each other and considered it a fun night or do you consider that a vision of hellish frustration? "
We’ve never got to the bed stage unless we’ve had the initial ‘no expectations’ meet and greet, and this is clearly stated when messaging. Our philosophy is this, if people struggle to communicate out of bed, how will they perform in the bed? ~M
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