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Why do people do this???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
We chatted with a sexy woman on here, moved to talking on the phone and arranged a hot meet. Saturday we sorted kids, went into town brought there drink of choice, food as she said she would like to stay over. Cleaned house, got all dolled up only for her not to show. We texted snf called her phone rang n rang then went to voicemail. Were strangers to her apart from the obvious, why oh why would anyone do this? What can they possibly get out of it?.. Needless to say the stupid bitch got a lengthy and to the point text. Bloody idiots the people who do this. We get very few nights off to play as it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because they can......
There will always be people like this.
We had a simular one...... been sorting for months even put another meet off. sorted kids for weekend, pre bought train tickets booze etc went to walk out the door thought would send last message to say on our way and they had blocked us ![](/icons/s/eek.gif) |
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"We chatted with a sexy woman on here, moved to talking on the phone and arranged a hot meet. Saturday we sorted kids, went into town brought there drink of choice, food as she said she would like to stay over. Cleaned house, got all dolled up only for her not to show. We texted snf called her phone rang n rang then went to voicemail. Were strangers to her apart from the obvious, why oh why would anyone do this? What can they possibly get out of it?.. Needless to say the stupid bitch got a lengthy and to the point text. Bloody idiots the people who do this. We get very few nights off to play as it is. "
Its happend to the best of us its very frustrating but moaning about it here will only make her laugh more reading about it ..report her and block and move on to more genuine ppl ...and remember word does get around ...and also do yourself a fav meet social first less chance of it happening that way xxxx good luck xxxx ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
It happens. I've been let down by couples and blokes and been very cross about it, but the best thing to do is vent, then block, report her as a no show, and move on.
Shame you're not closer. Hope you get lots of naughty people in 2012. ![](/icons/s/wink.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For this very reason we only ever meet couples we have chatted to in clubs or who have been verified by people we know.... Cuts out the time wasters as unfortunately there are a lot of people out there that are all talk then when it comes down to it don't show! All you can do is move on and learn by your mistakes.... We have! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just out of interest if someone does this what happens ?
Are they reported and whats the consequence from it?
Appreciate you cant name and shame so to speak but I can imagine it being annoying especially with children who you have sorted to have a free evening. |
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"Just out of interest if someone does this what happens ?
Are they reported and whats the consequence from it?
Appreciate you cant name and shame so to speak but I can imagine it being annoying especially with children who you have sorted to have a free evening. "
You can click on the person profile and report them as a no show for a meet im sure if admin get enough complaints about someone them adaquate action is taken x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its terrible for single guys like myself when someone lets you down but is especially bad for those with kids who have wasted a night off.
I hope you have some great meets soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For this very reason we only ever meet couples we have chatted to in clubs or who have been verified by people we know.... Cuts out the time wasters as unfortunately there are a lot of people out there that are all talk then when it comes down to it don't show! All you can do is move on and learn by your mistakes.... We have! "
This is the best way.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened to me too recently, and its true all ya can do is 'block' and forget about it...once you've finished cleaning the foaming bile and spittal from your chin that is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i must be really odd cause things like this really do not bother me at all, if i arrange a meet and the person either cancels or dont show i just come on here and arrange another
its really no big deal ![](/icons/s/confused.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had it happen drove 45mins to a meet got to where i was suppost to meet and then got a text saying she cant make it as she was going to the local fair with a friend !!!!!! Would have been nice to let me know before i set off ![](/icons/s/twisted.gif) |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"i must be really odd cause things like this really do not bother me at all, if i arrange a meet and the person either cancels or dont show i just come on here and arrange another
its really no big deal "
It is easy for some people to rearrange but when child arrangements have to be made I think it's a bit off of the other party to just not turn up.
Also, us single woman probably find it quite easy to replace our meets (well you probably do, me not so much) but single guys and couples probably have a harder time of it. |
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"i must be really odd cause things like this really do not bother me at all, if i arrange a meet and the person either cancels or dont show i just come on here and arrange another
its really no big deal "
so ur saying if you had gone to the lengths the op had gone to ie food and drinks and sitters for the kids to be let down you would be bother ?... i find that very hard to believe ![](/icons/s/rolleyes.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why we like to meet at our place or theirs.. if they don't show up to ours.. no loss and we have all our stuff here to look for another meet or go out to a club... if they let us meet at theirs, likely not to be a timewaster.
its something we learned very early on when we started swinging after about 4 no shows in a row at public venues.
Its why we mostly go to clubs now and play there, too many time waster and it is very annoying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i must be really odd cause things like this really do not bother me at all, if i arrange a meet and the person either cancels or dont show i just come on here and arrange another
its really no big deal
so ur saying if you had gone to the lengths the op had gone to ie food and drinks and sitters for the kids to be let down you would be bother ?... i find that very hard to believe "
ive had it befored, i had a guy coming to meet me, i booked and paid for the hotel myself, swapped night that my ex had the nipper so i could make the night he wanted to meet and then he didnt even show, even tho he knew id had to mess about swapping night for my child and that i had paid for the hotel
Thing is getting pissed off dont help matters, i just went on the laptop, mailed a guy i had been talking to, told him i had a room booked and did he want to join me and he came over
Im not saying its ok to let people down im just saying there are more constructive ways of dealing with it than getting upset, i had two choices, either sit and mope about it or sort something else, which, lets be honest isnt hard for women, so why let it bother you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i must be really odd cause things like this really do not bother me at all, if i arrange a meet and the person either cancels or dont show i just come on here and arrange another
its really no big deal
so ur saying if you had gone to the lengths the op had gone to ie food and drinks and sitters for the kids to be let down you would be bother ?... i find that very hard to believe
ive had it befored, i had a guy coming to meet me, i booked and paid for the hotel myself, swapped night that my ex had the nipper so i could make the night he wanted to meet and then he didnt even show, even tho he knew id had to mess about swapping night for my child and that i had paid for the hotel
Thing is getting pissed off dont help matters, i just went on the laptop, mailed a guy i had been talking to, told him i had a room booked and did he want to join me and he came over
Im not saying its ok to let people down im just saying there are more constructive ways of dealing with it than getting upset, i had two choices, either sit and mope about it or sort something else, which, lets be honest isnt hard for women, so why let it bother you? "
it is much easier for single women to do that though or people who want single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Guys n gals your all fabulous we appreciate your support. It has happened to us before rarely. As you can see from our verifications we have met fantastic people on here and still shall. We know theres lots of great people on here. Just very annoying and for no reason.
My other half has very few days off due to his work schedule n kids etc as said so we get very few nites to play as it is. We did try to arrange something else but having sat waiting till nr 10 to give the woman a chance, it was too late. Anyhow your a lovely bunch have fun and enjoy ty for the nice comments too. Xxxxx luisa n steve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a similar one....yep also a single fem....we both took day off work....valuable time we dont have to waste.....she didnt show....or bother to offer any excuse.
Tess and Mike xxx |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"These people get meets and some people get ignored because they have few or no verifications.
Not even POF has that! "
wotchootalkinabout willis?
question for the OP:
was the lady in question meet verified?
was she verified in any way shape or form? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a similar one....yep also a single fem....we both took day off work....valuable time we dont have to waste.....she didnt show....or bother to offer any excuse.
Tess and Mike xxx" i suppose embarassment might play a part, or change heart for whatever reason..but as long as they get in touch and make their excuses, i'd just take it on the chin |
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I really hate that OP you plan something and then they bottle it in some way! why bother. I have had it done to me and you do feel peed off.
That is why I have never stood any one up. If I plan to meet I will be there! ![](/icons/s/2/halo.gif) |
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"We chatted with a sexy woman on here, moved to talking on the phone and arranged a hot meet. Saturday we sorted kids, went into town brought there drink of choice, food as she said she would like to stay over. Cleaned house, got all dolled up only for her not to show. We texted snf called her phone rang n rang then went to voicemail. Were strangers to her apart from the obvious, why oh why would anyone do this? What can they possibly get out of it?.. Needless to say the stupid bitch got a lengthy and to the point text. Bloody idiots the people who do this. We get very few nights off to play as it is. "
You did everything possible to confirm she was real...sorry to hear you had such a crap let down ![](/icons/s/sad.gif) |
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As a guy who's also been let down, it saddens me everytime i hear someone's been stood up. I do have a theory why but it is probably more relevant to the men. I think because it's hard for a guy to get a meet due to so much competition, a lot of guys are arranging meets at every opportunity and only when they have something confirmed that they then try and make themselves available. If its true it's sad because it's ruining it for the rest of us. As for why the women are backing out... I can only imagine that they get cold feet or are worried about their own safety.
Whatever the reason, its still very disappointing.
Paul ![](/icons/s/sad.gif) |
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im a single guy and yes i had that happen to me with a couple had arranged to come to mine , took my son home early as he visits on a sat ,went got some drinks from offlicence as its polite to av some and same no show tryed ringing nothing try to contact them on here and wud u beleive it they had blocked me unbeleiveable some people |
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Sorry for you OP, but it is the same old story about time wasters. Just block and move on, is the best you can do. Don't bother to ask your self WHY because every time they will find a reasonable reason to motivate why. Some time happens to be a genuine reason, some time they will just invoke something or just not saying something at all. Anyway you will never know and also it doesn't matter why, because doesn't change anything. For you what matters is that you loose your time and maybe other opportunity. That's why, at least for the fist time, we prefer a swingers club for meetings. If they get cold feet we still can have our good time in there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first ever meet from the Internet I had been chatting to the guy for weeks, been on cam to each other etc. I booked a hotel and drove over 100 miles to meet up. He never showed. I went to the hotel bar for a few drinks, got chatting to a group of girls had a night out with them. Came back to the hotel for a night cap and ended up having a hot night with the bar man. Best no show I have ever had ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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"No not verified joined recently , now left. But, we had, as always do, spoken various times on the phone etc. "
Maybe she got cold feet?? Anyhow, I think it's unfair for you to call her a 'bitch'. |
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By *itty .Woman
over a year ago
Brighton |
I have had to cancel mets at short notice because unfortunely I suffer with IBS. People haven't always been to nice sometimes and think I'm lying to why I cant meet.
I now try to arrange meets on spur of the moment as its better for me with my health, as yet I've been ok
But I don't like to let people down and had some great meets with lovely Verifications |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not verified joined recently , now left. But, we had, as always do, spoken various times on the phone etc.
Maybe she got cold feet?? Anyhow, I think it's unfair for you to call her a 'bitch'."
I dont think its unfair at all.. she was disrespectful, rude and tbh just plain out of order which is unfair of her to do to the OP, doesnt matter how much or little effort they had to go to, standing someone up and not even picking up the phone is just plain rude, cold feet or not just pick up your phone and/or text them, how hard is that..
or alternatively if your the kind of person who gets cold feet how about you dont make a bloody meet in the first place?!?! then no1 will call you a bitch.( not in a you as in you the poster but you as in you the kind of person who gets cold feet just to clarify as i know how some people can get on here) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Bummer!
Assume nothing is my only advice, if it happens it's a bonus but I think you always have to prepare for a no show (as sad as it sounds).
I've had several let downs from single guys as a single lady, I just forget about them and move on. Even on our joint profile we had one couple text the day before and say that the wife was only doing it to please her husband and she didn't fancy my partner - who sad and pathetic is that - still at least they bothered texting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has happened to my partner and me, although luckily we hadn't gone to the amount of trouble you did, so it wasn't quite so aggravating. We were just stood up by someone. It's bloody annoying, but as others have said, it happens, and all you can do is dust yourself down and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Seems like some people on this post have had a real rough ride on this subject. I feel for the person who travels for miles an then no one turns up or hotels being booked etc thats awful.
We do do what we can to limit these occurences with social meets whenever poss etc. We do move on but we did get annoyed. As said we meet lovely people on here and yet to a have a bad meet and you guys are really cool. Have lots of fun one and all, who knows, some together with us or others lol.
I will say that if someone gets cold feet or a situation arises it only takes a phone call preferably, or a text or e mail to let people know.
Still Luisa got a bloody good fucking as she looked amazing so not all was lost lol. Xxxx
Have fun. |
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Absolutely agree with the above. If you have to let someone down, try and give as much notice as you can. It's only polite and may, if you're lucky, give you a second chance. There's just no excuse for not contacting, it shows bad manners and rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sorry you got let down had similar thing happen to us as friends of ours have partys every month. we thought we would ask a few people of are friends list to come. after talking about the up and coming party a few people had said yes defo be there. so the week before another message to them all to confirm all defo coming on the day of the party a quick message with the address and can you confirm. which we didnt get a reply which they had been on-line after message had been sent but nothing didnt show or give a reason for not attending. so have been removed from are friends list. and now know how hard it must be for are friends to organise a party as always there are about 14cpls and a great night all the time. dont let it put you off swinging we have all been in the same boat or will be in the future lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear about your experience.
Why do people do this ... because they get off on it! ... and because they can get away with it!
What happens to a timewaster on Fab? Definition of timewaster is a moot point.
I've never had a meet on Fab but I've had 4 'no shows'. Subsequent communication hasn't been possible due to message and mobile blocking.
The only thing getting wet with me is that little spot behind my ears!
Hey but do you hear me complaining? ![](/icons/s/rolleyes.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just for a moment before you condemn all time wasters and slag them off, put yourself in their shoes for a moment. I takes no thought to agree to meet someone on line and via text messaging or what ever, especially if you are warm and comfortable in your own space, but it takes a hell of a lot of balls to actually go through the act of getting in the car and going to the meet. Even more so if you are a single woman. If you are having a lot of time wasters, perhaps your levels of communication have not been as effective and as reassuring as they could be. We don't usually get a lot of time wasters, but we are and do go the extra bit to ensure that who we meet aren't being taken too far from their own comfort zone, and also why we tend to stick to more experienced swingers. Just a thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just for a moment before you condemn all time wasters and slag them off, put yourself in their shoes for a moment. I takes no thought to agree to meet someone on line and via text messaging or what ever, especially if you are warm and comfortable in your own space, but it takes a hell of a lot of balls to actually go through the act of getting in the car and going to the meet. Even more so if you are a single woman. If you are having a lot of time wasters, perhaps your levels of communication have not been as effective and as reassuring as they could be. We don't usually get a lot of time wasters, but we are and do go the extra bit to ensure that who we meet aren't being taken too far from their own comfort zone, and also why we tend to stick to more experienced swingers. Just a thought. "
Very well put, and my thoughts exactly x ![](/icons/thumb_up.png) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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mmmmmmmmm arranged to meet someone, first meet so a drink at lunchtime, we both turned up, but he and I were in different ferry terminals 20 miles apart......... We both assumed without asking which ferry terminal................ duh!!! ![](/icons/s/redface.gif) |
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I've taken afternoons/days off or made other arrangements only to have a no show.
At the time you feel gutted. But you just have to get over it and try again. And hope there might be a 'next' time with someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mmmmmmmmm arranged to meet someone, first meet so a drink at lunchtime, we both turned up, but he and I were in different ferry terminals 20 miles apart......... We both assumed without asking which ferry terminal................ duh!!! "
I've done that with a meet in Asda; I was in Gloucester and they were in Bristol's Walmart never met again |
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"mmmmmmmmm arranged to meet someone, first meet so a drink at lunchtime, we both turned up, but he and I were in different ferry terminals 20 miles apart......... We both assumed without asking which ferry terminal................ duh!!! " I've been in the wrong town a couple of times (once was my fault, once it wasn't). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mmmmmmmmm arranged to meet someone, first meet so a drink at lunchtime, we both turned up, but he and I were in different ferry terminals 20 miles apart......... We both assumed without asking which ferry terminal................ duh!!!
I've done that with a meet in Asda; I was in Gloucester and they were in Bristol's Walmart never met again"
We did give it a second chance and got on great lol!![](/icons/s/wink.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Shame that this happens so often, and no body is immune it seems, i know only a few people who have never had it happen. having experienced it on more than one occasion,you do learn warning signs, but it is a risk that it could happen every time you arrange a meet sadly.
I took a break from meeting the last couple of months of last year after a string of no shows with me out of pocket and feeling like a chump.
Allowed the jaded feeling to pass and entered 2012 wiser,and once again optimistic, the good meets more than make up for time wasters, and life is to short to let others tear you down. |
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"Just for a moment before you condemn all time wasters and slag them off, put yourself in their shoes for a moment. I takes no thought to agree to meet someone on line and via text messaging or what ever, especially if you are warm and comfortable in your own space, but it takes a hell of a lot of balls to actually go through the act of getting in the car and going to the meet. Even more so if you are a single woman. If you are having a lot of time wasters, perhaps your levels of communication have not been as effective and as reassuring as they could be. We don't usually get a lot of time wasters, but we are and do go the extra bit to ensure that who we meet aren't being taken too far from their own comfort zone, and also why we tend to stick to more experienced swingers. Just a thought.
Very well put, and my thoughts exactly x "
Valid points, it does take a lot to actually go ahead. But there is still no excuse for not letting people know with a call or, if you haven't got the guts to to that, a text at the very least. It is the most basic of good manners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some people get annoyed if you are not prepared to travel more than 25 miles or 45 mins drive. This is precicely why I state local people only"
45 mins by car is a long way for a simple meet.
They might be one of those who dont turn up either. ![](/icons/s/rolleyes.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lost their nerve perhaps? I'm just putting it out there.
I'm sorry you got let down but it's still their choice whether they want to show or not.
They had their chance, they blew it. Next! ![](/icons/s/wink.gif) |
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"We chatted with a sexy woman on here, moved to talking on the phone and arranged a hot meet. Saturday we sorted kids, went into town brought there drink of choice, food as she said she would like to stay over. Cleaned house, got all dolled up only for her not to show. We texted snf called her phone rang n rang then went to voicemail. Were strangers to her apart from the obvious, why oh why would anyone do this? What can they possibly get out of it?.. Needless to say the stupid bitch got a lengthy and to the point text. Bloody idiots the people who do this. We get very few nights off to play as it is. "
I feel for you on this I hate being let down or no shows so haven't done it to anyone myself. Though do tend to stay in club now. still play with a couple from another site occasionally.
Glad she had the sense to leave site, nerves do play a big part when you first start out, but how you handle them defines whether your a swinger or a fantisist (think that's how you spell it) lmao.
Steve x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mmmmmmmmm arranged to meet someone, first meet so a drink at lunchtime, we both turned up, but he and I were in different ferry terminals 20 miles apart......... We both assumed without asking which ferry terminal................ duh!!!
I've done that with a meet in Asda; I was in Gloucester and they were in Bristol's Walmart never met again
We did give it a second chance and got on great lol! "
Ah fantastic![](/icons/s/wink.gif) |
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This has been the theme to so many posts etc on here..it obviously bothers people enough..you rarely read posts stating that someone has stated another is a timewaster for no reason..
Surely admin can monitor complaints about certain people and if they get enough about the same offender from different people kick the offender of the site? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just for a moment before you condemn all time wasters and slag them off, put yourself in their shoes for a moment. I takes no thought to agree to meet someone on line and via text messaging or what ever, especially if you are warm and comfortable in your own space, but it takes a hell of a lot of balls to actually go through the act of getting in the car and going to the meet. Even more so if you are a single woman. If you are having a lot of time wasters, perhaps your levels of communication have not been as effective and as reassuring as they could be. We don't usually get a lot of time wasters, but we are and do go the extra bit to ensure that who we meet aren't being taken too far from their own comfort zone, and also why we tend to stick to more experienced swingers. Just a thought.
Very well put, and my thoughts exactly x
Valid points, it does take a lot to actually go ahead. But there is still no excuse for not letting people know with a call or, if you haven't got the guts to to that, a text at the very least. It is the most basic of good manners." MY thoughts exactly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My theory is that some people (men and women) get a kick out of timewasting. There are nutters in all walks of life, it's not surprising that there are some nutters on here! They should be pitied really, but they do spoil it for the genuine folks on here.
Mark
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Were experienced swingers also take time talking to people specially single women and newbies we have met quite a few of both.,
Im not going to throw myself of a bridge because it happened but its very annoying as we dont see the point of doing it to people and as been said on here, even a text sometime before to cancel would be poor but adequate.
Seems that theres a lot of these people on site doing this from seeing on this post what has happened to people. Oh and she was localish yo us 20minutes away. X |
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I think some of us have had a similar experience in one way, shape, or form. I ended up standing outside a train station looking like a prized twat! Not once but twice. How annoying is that?
Can't see the point but some see it as a bit of a power trip, some think it's funny, and some are on some weird revenge kick against the rest of the world.
Shame! It just wastes time, including their's. |
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