FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How long do you give.
How long do you give.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So today I arranged a meet planned for weeks due to time restraints.
The scheduled time was 12. I got a message at around 20 past saying they were running late. I replied saying fine. ,After 12:30 I got a message saying the male (FB couple) was having a shower. Ok. But I was leaving at 4 anyway. I replied saying I will leave at 1 if you're not here.
At 55 I got a message saying Uber says 20 minutes so I left.
I then received a torrent of abuse about my behaviour which I skimmed over before removing myself from Kik group.
The couple concerned struggle for a bi fem meet. If this is the behaviour I'm unsurprised.
So I pose the question. How long would you wait to meet someone and what are your views on the scenario?
I personally think if people value their time more than yours it's not of equal level.
I'd kept them informed my whole journey. I was expecting a 20 minute delay.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"no more than 30mins....we always have a Plan B..usually go to a club...the evening is never lost then"
I think 30 minutes is polite. Quest is open X X  |
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It really depends how much you wanted to meet them, and how many other options you have?
As a single male I feel I have to put up with a lot of crap to get anywhere. I imagine the situation is very different for ladies... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It really depends how much you wanted to meet them, and how many other options you have?
As a single male I feel I have to put up with a lot of crap to get anywhere. I imagine the situation is very different for ladies..."
I'd have left after 30 usually but factored in my delay. X
For anyone it's 30. Except friend's X And they wouldn't do that X |
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"It really depends how much you wanted to meet them, and how many other options you have?
As a single male I feel I have to put up with a lot of crap to get anywhere. I imagine the situation is very different for ladies..."
Different crap but probably a similar amount.
Plus, I don't have Plan B people lined up, I can't come at that even if I had offers. So if someone wasted my evening, then that evening is likely lost for Fab time. |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
I'd give 15 mins for a social to turn up, 30 for a meet. I would only consider longer if they contacted me and I was happy with the reason. I can't abide poor time keeping so quickly move on
I think you were more than fair OP. If they were that excited to meet you, they would of made an effort  |
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The attitude to not bothering about timekeeping is shocking these days . We wouldn’t dream if ever being late for anything , it’s just simple manners .
We would allow ten minutes , fifteen at a push . Any more than that and we would either go and sort something else out , or if is a pub or somewhere we can stay comfortably , hang around and tell the person in no uncertain terms how rude we think they are . Which we have done on a few occasions . |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
If they'd contacted me in advance to let me know they were running late then however long they'd said they'd be would be fine - so long as they didn't keep pushing it further and further out with spurious excuses - in which case I'd do exactly as you did OP.
If there was no notification they were running late then probably no longer than 30 mins or so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they'd contacted me in advance to let me know they were running late then however long they'd said they'd be would be fine - so long as they didn't keep pushing it further and further out with spurious excuses - in which case I'd do exactly as you did OP.
If there was no notification they were running late then probably no longer than 30 mins or so."
This |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"The attitude to not bothering about timekeeping is shocking these days . We wouldn’t dream if ever being late for anything , it’s just simple manners .
We would allow ten minutes , fifteen at a push . Any more than that and we would either go and sort something else out , or if is a pub or somewhere we can stay comfortably , hang around and tell the person in no uncertain terms how rude we think they are . Which we have done on a few occasions . "
Exactly the same as us. We are never late, always plan on being early so if something happens we are, at the worst, on time. We have no problems telling folk if we think they are rude.
First impressions are paramount we think. If they were running late and we got the message they were just getting into the shower we would tell them not to bother turning up, its just rude and ignorant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on gut feelings and whether you are being messed about which clearly you were. I had an arranged meet last summer and waited 50 mins with messaging saying he was running late due to traffic then got lost. Gave up at 50 mins and went home. He completely understood and no abuse...we therefore met a few days later, was fantastic and have been having lots of fun ever since. Some are worth persevering others aren’t worth 10 minutes. Good luck, you deserve better x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The attitude to not bothering about timekeeping is shocking these days . We wouldn’t dream if ever being late for anything , it’s just simple manners .
We would allow ten minutes , fifteen at a push . Any more than that and we would either go and sort something else out , or if is a pub or somewhere we can stay comfortably , hang around and tell the person in no uncertain terms how rude we think they are . Which we have done on a few occasions .
Exactly the same as us. We are never late, always plan on being early so if something happens we are, at the worst, on time. We have no problems telling folk if we think they are rude.
First impressions are paramount we think. If they were running late and we got the message they were just getting into the shower we would tell them not to bother turning up, its just rude and ignorant"
Exactly my thoughts. Then it spoils your mood. So the meet would've started out bad. With the short time remaining there was no winning in this situation X |
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I've had situations where I've allowed myself double the travel time and things have gone disastrously wrong (outside my control). That's not rude, that's just unfortunate. (and I of course keep anyone I'm leaving waiting updated on where I am etc)
Of course the OP is a different thing, but I can't come at all lateness being rudeness. |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"I've had situations where I've allowed myself double the travel time and things have gone disastrously wrong (outside my control). That's not rude, that's just unfortunate. (and I of course keep anyone I'm leaving waiting updated on where I am etc)
Of course the OP is a different thing, but I can't come at all lateness being rudeness. "
Agree. If we had been told things had gone wrong out of their control. Getting in a shower after the time you had arranged to meet???. We always like to swap numbers so folk can get in touch if running late. Like you said not all lateness is rude, circumstances and all that jazz, anyone can be 15 or 20 mins late due to unforeseen circumstances. Unless you claim to be a clairvoyant then there's no excuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a bit of a nightmare for running late but I'm always really upfront if I'm going to be. They would know a good half an hour before we are due to meet- not after the time so they wouldn't set off either.
Like I see someone regular who's a hour drive from me so I'm usually later than we plan(because I'm useless) but I drop him a message as I'm leaving so he knows he has a hour from then.
Had someone not informed me by the time we are due to meet then I would probably leave straight away |
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The fact that the male was having a shower at 1230 but you were supposed to meet at 12 is so disrespectful to me. Unless there was a very good reason, I'd have left at that point, blocked and deleted.
Mrs |
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"The fact that the male was having a shower at 1230 but you were supposed to meet at 12 is so disrespectful to me. Unless there was a very good reason, I'd have left at that point, blocked and deleted.
Mrs"
Yeah. I had one planned meet where after the arranged time they were over ten miles away, oops I forgot condoms, oh can I have proof you're real?
You can join my block list... |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Cheers.
The abusive messages continued but I just deleted
Then block. "
Bloody cheek of them to give you abuse for their tardiness. No wonder couples struggle to meet single ladies. I would have given them the time it takes to finish my drink before letting them know I'm not waiting any longer. I certainly don't give people a second chance anymore. If they cancel last minute, ghost or no show, their loss, I'm happy to move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cheers.
The abusive messages continued but I just deleted
Then block.
Bloody cheek of them to give you abuse for their tardiness. No wonder couples struggle to meet single ladies. I would have given them the time it takes to finish my drink before letting them know I'm not waiting any longer. I certainly don't give people a second chance anymore. If they cancel last minute, ghost or no show, their loss, I'm happy to move on. "
Yeah. I got another message accusing me of no show and timewasting. The fem was more polite but both blocked. The barrage of abuse from him over his decisions has made me firm I did the right thing. X |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Cheers.
The abusive messages continued but I just deleted
Then block.
Bloody cheek of them to give you abuse for their tardiness. No wonder couples struggle to meet single ladies. I would have given them the time it takes to finish my drink before letting them know I'm not waiting any longer. I certainly don't give people a second chance anymore. If they cancel last minute, ghost or no show, their loss, I'm happy to move on.
Yeah. I got another message accusing me of no show and timewasting. The fem was more polite but both blocked. The barrage of abuse from him over his decisions has made me firm I did the right thing. X "
I do hope you reported them for abuse and a no show. X |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I always used to turn up early. Occasionally meant hanging around in the car or in a bar, but that was no biggie.
Saves coming up with bad traffic/wardrobe malfunction/dog ate my condoms excuses for being late too.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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15 mins for a social if they haven't said that they would be late. You know in advance if you're not going to be on time, so the decent thing is to tell me.
If I get a text to tell me they'll be late then I'll wait, if it's within reason.
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"
So today I arranged a meet planned for weeks due to time restraints.
The scheduled time was 12. I got a message at around 20 past saying they were running late. I replied saying fine. ,After 12:30 I got a message saying the male (FB couple) was having a shower. Ok. But I was leaving at 4 anyway. I replied saying I will leave at 1 if you're not here.
At 55 I got a message saying Uber says 20 minutes so I left.
I then received a torrent of abuse about my behaviour which I skimmed over before removing myself from Kik group.
The couple concerned struggle for a bi fem meet. If this is the behaviour I'm unsurprised.
So I pose the question. How long would you wait to meet someone and what are your views on the scenario?
I personally think if people value their time more than yours it's not of equal level.
I'd kept them informed my whole journey. I was expecting a 20 minute delay.
"
If you are meeting, be it a social or something more, surely - and i say this from a personal point of view - i would be leaving to meet with plenty of time (including a check of the roads/public transport). I would rather be there early and have to kill time, than be late! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheers.
The abusive messages continued but I just deleted
Then block. "
This is just unacceptable and you did the right thing by blocking too. If they have a profile on here I would report to admin too. If they have been doing same to others it might get them removed and save putting anyone else through same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm early for everything (well not everything   ). In fact I have a verification on here commenting on me being early for a meeting.. I think it's only fair that if someone is taking time out of their schedule to meet me then I should not waste their time. |
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They obviously didn’t have the respect for you as you deserve. There loss to be honest.
We would never stand anyone up, least of all a single female.
We would wait 30 mins the send a message saying goodbye and then block them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always used to turn up early. Occasionally meant hanging around in the car or in a bar, but that was no biggie.
Saves coming up with bad traffic/wardrobe malfunction/dog ate my condoms excuses for being late too.
A"
One of my recent socials the dog started puking  . I was 20 mins late but did message him as soon as it happened. So he wasn't sat waiting. |
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There are people who think 30mins late is on time
We'll wait for half an hour,having messaged them after 10mins past the meeting time. If we don't hear back then we'll leave. If they're genuinely running late and give us an ETA within the hour then we'll hang around. It does depend on how much we want to meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We give 10 minutes. If we get a message about them running late then 20 minutes from the time the meet was scheduled at. Anything else is just disrespectful in our view.
Mrs |
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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago
Germany / Manchester |
Thirty minutes is more than enough to give people on waiting. We respect events can happen out of anyone's control, and all it requires is a little communication.
Time is too valuable to be given to people who don't respect their own space, let alone anyone else's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As most said about half hour even as a single guy I'd be off think you was quite honest with them tbh if I'd had a text saying just getting a shower and they were late already I'd have left at that moment Total piss take |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I stay in communication with them right upto the minute if i dont get anything back after 20 mins im off unless given heads up
I was late for you too "
but we were talking activly and you gave me heads up thats never an issue |
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For me is all about comms. If someone is late but has a genuine good reason and keep me posted, I’d be inclined to wait as long as I have time. If someone tells me their showering 20mins after we were supposed to meet, i’d leave straight away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Where I live, if you're travelling across London, it's easy to be held up for over 30 minutes.
Someone, not from here, waited an hour for me at Barking station once, and when I got there said he had never waited that long for anyone, ever.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So today I arranged a meet planned for weeks due to time restraints.
The scheduled time was 12. I got a message at around 20 past saying they were running late. I replied saying fine. ,After 12:30 I got a message saying the male (FB couple) was having a shower. Ok. But I was leaving at 4 anyway. I replied saying I will leave at 1 if you're not here.
At 55 I got a message saying Uber says 20 minutes so I left.
I then received a torrent of abuse about my behaviour which I skimmed over before removing myself from Kik group.
The couple concerned struggle for a bi fem meet. If this is the behaviour I'm unsurprised.
So I pose the question. How long would you wait to meet someone and what are your views on the scenario?
I personally think if people value their time more than yours it's not of equal level.
I'd kept them informed my whole journey. I was expecting a 20 minute delay.
"
I would have said about 30 min. Sounds like they were out of order and not concerned with your time. I don’t understand why people are so flippant with people they are intending to meeting. As a single guy on here it’s very hard getting meets .... so why go to all that effort if they have no intention meeting or being rude about it?
X |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
I always message the person if I think I might be late and I always let them know when I'm leaving and give them an ETA.
If somebody is travelling to me it would be a maximum of 20-30 minutes if they hadn't contacted me. |
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When we’re meeting, especially a woman on her own, we’re always early.
We don’t think it’s fair for somebody to be sat alone waiting for us, plus if we’re already there she gets the chance to check us and the situation out and make sure she’s comfortable, always like to give people the option to run if we turn out not to be us!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a massive problem with lateness. In my opinion it shows a lack of planning and perhaps worst of all a lack of care.
I always arrive everywhere before the time agreed. I am meticulous in many aspects of my life and time keeping is part of that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To be honest throughout the course of the messages I got the idea he was full of his own self importance. I believe she wanted more from him after asking what he'd said.
He said he was skeptical I would show as he needed this. It was his fantasy. Then the night before he expected everyone to be available day and night cause his own plans were cancelled. Then when I explained I had evening plans he accused me of backing out
Frankly I was dubious but because I know how shit it is when people flake I decided to stick with it. Lesson learned.
I've just come back after an eight month break. This was my first planned no club meet. It's just unnecessary drama. It's supposed to be fun. X
Thanks for all your comments. X X
Merry Christmas |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
Courtesy goes a long way. If they messaged you at 12 saying they'll be late, then I'd have waited.
Sh1t in life happens and people do get late...
For me, More often, the closer to a meet occurs, I'm suddenly blocked  Single guys have to put up with a lot of crap/fakes eh. |
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"
So today I arranged a meet planned for weeks due to time restraints.
The scheduled time was 12. I got a message at around 20 past saying they were running late. I replied saying fine. ,After 12:30 I got a message saying the male (FB couple) was having a shower. Ok. But I was leaving at 4 anyway. I replied saying I will leave at 1 if you're not here.
At 55 I got a message saying Uber says 20 minutes so I left.
I then received a torrent of abuse about my behaviour which I skimmed over before removing myself from Kik group.
The couple concerned struggle for a bi fem meet. If this is the behaviour I'm unsurprised.
So I pose the question. How long would you wait to meet someone and what are your views on the scenario?
I personally think if people value their time more than yours it's not of equal level.
I'd kept them informed my whole journey. I was expecting a 20 minute delay.
"
If someone was just having a shower 30 minutes after we'd planned to meet, I'd have had a lot to say to them! And not at all pleasant. I certainly wouldn't have waited around.
I give people 30 minutes, more if there is a really plausible excuse (traffic is horrendous, train has broken down, etc). Things happen, I understand, but this couple sounds a nightmare. Best avoided, you were more than patient. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a big issue with being late. I think it’s the hight of bad manners. But I also know that there is unforseen events that can happen to delay or even prevent people managing to make appointments. If I have arranged to meet someone then if something was to come up then I’d certainly be in contact with them and keep them informed. And would expect the same in return |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone we were due to meet was only just getting in the shower a full 30 minutes after the scheduled meet time, We'd call it off then and there...shit happens but that's just ridiculous... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So today I arranged a meet planned for weeks due to time restraints.
The scheduled time was 12. I got a message at around 20 past saying they were running late. I replied saying fine. ,After 12:30 I got a message saying the male (FB couple) was having a shower. Ok. But I was leaving at 4 anyway. I replied saying I will leave at 1 if you're not here.
At 55 I got a message saying Uber says 20 minutes so I left.
I then received a torrent of abuse about my behaviour which I skimmed over before removing myself from Kik group.
The couple concerned struggle for a bi fem meet. If this is the behaviour I'm unsurprised.
So I pose the question. How long would you wait to meet someone and what are your views on the scenario?
I personally think if people value their time more than yours it's not of equal level.
I'd kept them informed my whole journey. I was expecting a 20 minute delay.
"
you did the right thing, it happened to us the only redeeming factor was the meet was at a club, they were two hours late, his wife was still getting ready at an hour late, its just shit really.
Good for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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30 mins is about it unless they have a really good excuse I would however be calling them if they were running later as I want to hear what they have to say in person not in a text. |
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"
So today I arranged a meet planned for weeks due to time restraints.
The scheduled time was 12. I got a message at around 20 past saying they were running late. I replied saying fine. ,After 12:30 I got a message saying the male (FB couple) was having a shower. Ok. But I was leaving at 4 anyway. I replied saying I will leave at 1 if you're not here.
At 55 I got a message saying Uber says 20 minutes so I left.
I then received a torrent of abuse about my behaviour which I skimmed over before removing myself from Kik group.
The couple concerned struggle for a bi fem meet. If this is the behaviour I'm unsurprised.
So I pose the question. How long would you wait to meet someone and what are your views on the scenario?
I personally think if people value their time more than yours it's not of equal level.
I'd kept them informed my whole journey. I was expecting a 20 minute delay.
"
If someone really wants to meet you they'll be on time.
Their behaviour was disrespectful.
You did the right thing to cancel the meet.
|
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"
So today I arranged a meet planned for weeks due to time restraints.
The scheduled time was 12. I got a message at around 20 past saying they were running late. I replied saying fine. ,After 12:30 I got a message saying the male (FB couple) was having a shower. Ok. But I was leaving at 4 anyway. I replied saying I will leave at 1 if you're not here.
At 55 I got a message saying Uber says 20 minutes so I left.
I then received a torrent of abuse about my behaviour which I skimmed over before removing myself from Kik group.
The couple concerned struggle for a bi fem meet. If this is the behaviour I'm unsurprised.
So I pose the question. How long would you wait to meet someone and what are your views on the scenario?
I personally think if people value their time more than yours it's not of equal level.
I'd kept them informed my whole journey. I was expecting a 20 minute delay.
"
Can't stand lateness, it's so rude people who think they are cool being late are just plain ignorant and rude.
I am always early.
The amount of times Mrs has sat waiting for a meet to turn up is ridiculous.
I have told her 30 mins max.
OP you did nothing wrong and the people in question are rude and ignorant.
It's bad manners and certainly not cricket. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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30 minutes. Then end of. Any more is taking the proverbial. Why was he having a shower?? Could have done that with you! If he is running late - tough! Learn to prioritise effectively. Or he can have a wank. Simples! |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"
So today I arranged a meet planned for weeks due to time restraints.
The scheduled time was 12. I got a message at around 20 past saying they were running late. I replied saying fine. ,After 12:30 I got a message saying the male (FB couple) was having a shower. Ok. But I was leaving at 4 anyway. I replied saying I will leave at 1 if you're not here.
At 55 I got a message saying Uber says 20 minutes so I left.
I then received a torrent of abuse about my behaviour which I skimmed over before removing myself from Kik group.
The couple concerned struggle for a bi fem meet. If this is the behaviour I'm unsurprised.
So I pose the question. How long would you wait to meet someone and what are your views on the scenario?
I personally think if people value their time more than yours it's not of equal level.
I'd kept them informed my whole journey. I was expecting a 20 minute delay.
"
The power of a couple over a single lady.
At least your not single male you would just be told to move on and deal with it. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Come on your Stiflers mum!! Nobody keeps Stiflers mum waiting!
Depends on the contact for how long waiting, Wills got less tolerance than me so he would say probably 30 mins but I’m more laid back so would go 35  lol but depends on circumstance, if anyone turned abusive though they would be blocked in every way and forgotten about in a minute, so forget about them and hopefully somebody nice will be messaging you soon. |
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It depends on the situation. If I know in advance that they are running late, I will wait until 10 after they say they expect to be there. If I have had no contact andvit is a meet 15 mins max. A good friend up to 30 mins maybe more.
OP I would have been gone before the notification the guy was in the shower...if I was still waiting at that point, I would have told them not to bother. They clearly have no respect for you.
Nita |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
Poor time keeping annoys me and I find it rude. Things do happen on occasions, but leave plenty of time, at least they contacted however far to late to make a difference and weren't upfront about why they were running late either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first meet I turned up 15 minutes early and then waited till the time we agreed.
To early is rude as might not be ready. Too late is worse, even by 5 minutes.
Plan to be there early and you'll never be left disappointed.
Sorry to hear OP but if day you did the right thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP you were more than considerate and with a first meet I’m always on time and expect people to be the same or as close to the time as possible,hopefully your next meet is a lot better and rise above the abuse as you don’t deserve it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the time I would wait would depend on the person I am meeting.
have they got recent verifications
and things like that
plus phone contact is a must
been on here that long now you tend to smell the bull shit
ha ha
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