FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Familiarity breeding contempt?
Familiarity breeding contempt?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men."
yes a big up for single men, we keep swinging clubs open so that couples and women can enjoy the benefits we provide without us |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
It's the mentality of a lot of swingers. There is a hierarchy. Single men are the lowest of the low to some.
I don't know whether it's because a lot of profiles seem to be run by men. A lot have double standards when it comes to single lady unicorns though. |
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men."
I can speak from experience, that being a single guy in a swingers club can be a pretty tough gig, mostly because of the way couples treat you; curt replies, turning their heads to avoid eye contact, and generally ignoring you, it’s put me off visiting any others as a single guy  |
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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago
Merseyside |
"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men."
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me too
I try never to be rude to single guys, normally they are paying a wack of money to be in a club so the least the couples can do is be polite. Single guys however should know when a shake of the head or a no means exactly that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men."
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men."
Maybe couples see couples as swingers, and single guys as just being on pull for a jump  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single man friendly ere! omg really......... Hello
Shut up, you know I am! Lol  bi are you...... Pic or its not true"
Two soft 'fem' plays, doesn't class me as Bi - so no pic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single man friendly ere! omg really......... Hello
Shut up, you know I am! Lol bi are you...... Pic or its not true
Two soft 'fem' plays, doesn't class me as Bi - so no pic "
damn...... But if you don't ask you don't get........ Love that pic mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve also noticed this. Problem we have when searching for single guys though is that some can be very disrespectful when told they aren’t what we’re looking for.
For instance we ask for a specific title when they message. If they don’t put that then their message automatically gets deleted. We then get nasty and sarcastic comments ranging from “fuck you then” to “your mrs is too ugly anyway”.
It doesn’t do the decent single guys here any favours at all. We put a meet up yesterday morning and had 45 messages within the first 30 mins. Half of those were deleted as not the proper title. The rest we always reply to wether interested or not.
Luckily we found a really decent guy. We tend to select those who haven’t much experience with other couples or are new to the site as we ain’t the most experienced either.
So to all you decent single men, hang in there |
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It's nice to see from this thread that not every woman and couple is against single guys regardless.
Personally I refuse to attend clubs for multiple reasons. One being the astronomical price as a single guy especially compared to couples and single woman - it's not always economical for us either.
Secondly, the reception we receive the majority of the time is somewhat less than welcoming. (I've tried them a few times in the past).
Away from clubs and back on here, so many messages just get ignored. Even when including keywords to prove you read the profile, including requested pictures which I usually do as standard anyway or being a complete match to what they claim to be looking for, we still don't get given the time of day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men."
We agree, the guys on here do seem to get a bad rep, we have met a couple of really nice guys through fab and also in clubs, theirs always going to be a bad apple every now and then,but that also applies to single ladys and couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's nice to see from this thread that not every woman and couple is against single guys regardless.
Personally I refuse to attend clubs for multiple reasons. One being the astronomical price as a single guy especially compared to couples and single woman - it's not always economical for us either.
Secondly, the reception we receive the majority of the time is somewhat less than welcoming. (I've tried them a few times in the past).
Away from clubs and back on here, so many messages just get ignored. Even when including keywords to prove you read the profile, including requested pictures which I usually do as standard anyway or being a complete match to what they claim to be looking for, we still don't get given the time of day."
Some people do reply.
I don't know why single men go to clubs. Most get ignored or growled at. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men.
We agree, the guys on here do seem to get a bad rep, we have met a couple of really nice guys through fab and also in clubs, theirs always going to be a bad apple every now and then,but that also applies to single ladys and couples. "
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
Anyone with half a brain cell should soon work out whether they will be or are being treated with respect or not. Anyone who allows another party to treat them without respect has no self respect - that is where the problem starts. |
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men."
Hear hear
I think there is has been many changes with swinging ... there is a big single market out there that clubs forget (very silly and very unprofitable) and far more couples than people realise that want to meet single men (I’m in one of them)
Only a handful of clubs allow single guys on a Saturday - very outdated which makes it hard for couples to enjoy a Saturday night out at a swinging club with the intention of play
Single guys always have to jump thro hoops to get on the guest list for an event but the event organisers don’t mind charging them extra high prices allowing them to go or ‘carefully’ select them - what makes them god ?
Variety is the spice of life and what their idea of carefully selected is normally very different to mine
(That’s based on experience)
Personally I have had more unwanted advances from the male half of couples than any single guy at a club.
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I've stopped bothering to go to clubs completely as it stands for exactly these reasons. Doing all I can to be respectful when attending a club, never 'touchy feely', never making assumptions or doing anything to have myself lumped in with the guys who give us all a bad name, I still got this, including from women who thought it acceptable to approach me and be immediately scathing about my presence. I'm better than that and am unlikely to put myself in that position going forward. Hope I don't see complaints on here about clubs closing due to lack of support if other single guys also end up voting with their feet. In the meantime I'll continue to attend socials that have been successful in allowing me to show myself to be a decent and respectful guy who might just be worth getting to know for those who I fit the requirements. I can strongly recommend the Gloucester Social in this respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men."
Lots of couples like that as well as singles its pretty sad really people can't respect their fellow humans more but it say a lot about them and let you know they are best avoided. |
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"We’ve also noticed this. Problem we have when searching for single guys though is that some can be very disrespectful when told they aren’t what we’re looking for.
For instance we ask for a specific title when they message. If they don’t put that then their message automatically gets deleted. We then get nasty and sarcastic comments ranging from “fuck you then” to “your mrs is too ugly anyway”.
It doesn’t do the decent single guys here any favours at all. We put a meet up yesterday morning and had 45 messages within the first 30 mins. Half of those were deleted as not the proper title. The rest we always reply to wether interested or not.
Luckily we found a really decent guy. We tend to select those who haven’t much experience with other couples or are new to the site as we ain’t the most experienced either.
So to all you decent single men, hang in there "
Love that! Gives some hope going forward. Ty! |
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As a couple who have no interest in single men we really wouldn't lose any sleep if this was a site for couples and single fems only (same for clubs - would happily pay more for this). However when we encounter single men in clubs we are polite, if they are respectful. On here we used to remove our filters if we were going to a club night, to enable anyone who was going to chat before hand as we are v sociable, but that gives some men the impression we will play (we dont tick looking for men cos we aren't), so filters back on. So this respect thing cuts both ways. Single guys there are people looking for you. Focus on them. |
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"As a couple who have no interest in single men we really wouldn't lose any sleep if this was a site for couples and single fems only (same for clubs - would happily pay more for this). However when we encounter single men in clubs we are polite, if they are respectful. On here we used to remove our filters if we were going to a club night, to enable anyone who was going to chat before hand as we are v sociable, but that gives some men the impression we will play (we dont tick looking for men cos we aren't), so filters back on. So this respect thing cuts both ways. Single guys there are people looking for you. Focus on them. "
Tbf clubs are mainly aimed at what you are looking for - couples and single fems .... very rarely do clubs allow single guys especially on a Saturday (mores thd pity)
I’m in a couple and try to find club nights where we can meet single guys
Aside from couples wanting to meet guys there is a massive ‘single swinging’ scene that these clubs should be tapping into too |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"As a couple who have no interest in single men we really wouldn't lose any sleep if this was a site for couples and single fems only (same for clubs - would happily pay more for this). However when we encounter single men in clubs we are polite, if they are respectful. On here we used to remove our filters if we were going to a club night, to enable anyone who was going to chat before hand as we are v sociable, but that gives some men the impression we will play (we dont tick looking for men cos we aren't), so filters back on. So this respect thing cuts both ways. Single guys there are people looking for you. Focus on them.
Tbf clubs are mainly aimed at what you are looking for - couples and single fems .... very rarely do clubs allow single guys especially on a Saturday (mores thd pity)
I’m in a couple and try to find club nights where we can meet single guys
Aside from couples wanting to meet guys there is a massive ‘single swinging’ scene that these clubs should be tapping into too "
Double standards for single women though you see. |
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"It's nice to see from this thread that not every woman and couple is against single guys regardless.
Personally I refuse to attend clubs for multiple reasons. One being the astronomical price as a single guy especially compared to couples and single woman - it's not always economical for us either.
Secondly, the reception we receive the majority of the time is somewhat less than welcoming. (I've tried them a few times in the past).
Away from clubs and back on here, so many messages just get ignored. Even when including keywords to prove you read the profile, including requested pictures which I usually do as standard anyway or being a complete match to what they claim to be looking for, we still don't get given the time of day.
Some people do reply.
I don't know why single men go to clubs. Most get ignored or growled at. "
Not me. I obviously just go to decent clubs. |
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"Anyone with half a brain cell should soon work out whether they will be or are being treated with respect or not. Anyone who allows another party to treat them without respect has no self respect - that is where the problem starts."
When you can see your own reflection in the glassy eyed stare of ‘Oh no, it’s another single guy in a club  ’, you know you’re pissing in to the wind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men.
Lots of couples like that as well as singles its pretty sad really people can't respect their fellow humans more but it say a lot about them and let you know they are best avoided. "
|
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men.yes a big up for single men, we keep swinging clubs open so that couples and women can enjoy the benefits we provide without us "
Couldn't have put it better myself! |
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"A couple of posts today have made me really think. Both from couples directed at single men and seeming to be quite proud of how they view and treat single men.
It’s almost as though they are looked down upon within the swinging community.
A lot of us need to realise that firstly these are human beings deserving of basic respect and secondly that many clubs and websites would be uneconomic without the input of single men.
Maybe couples see couples as swingers, and single guys as just being on pull for a jump "
......or maybe they just assume it and treat them like scum without bothering to find out. It happens quite a lot, though not from everyone to be fair. |
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"We’ve also noticed this. Problem we have when searching for single guys though is that some can be very disrespectful when told they aren’t what we’re looking for.
For instance we ask for a specific title when they message. If they don’t put that then their message automatically gets deleted. We then get nasty and sarcastic comments ranging from “fuck you then” to “your mrs is too ugly anyway”.
It doesn’t do the decent single guys here any favours at all. We put a meet up yesterday morning and had 45 messages within the first 30 mins. Half of those were deleted as not the proper title. The rest we always reply to wether interested or not.
Luckily we found a really decent guy. We tend to select those who haven’t much experience with other couples or are new to the site as we ain’t the most experienced either.
So to all you decent single men, hang in there "
I have to admit I cringe when I read of (and hear about) some of the vile comments from guys who get a 'no' - always hoped that would help the good guys to stand out, but generally it just gets those of us who are respectful even less respect or response. |
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"It's nice to see from this thread that not every woman and couple is against single guys regardless.
Personally I refuse to attend clubs for multiple reasons. One being the astronomical price as a single guy especially compared to couples and single woman - it's not always economical for us either.
Secondly, the reception we receive the majority of the time is somewhat less than welcoming. (I've tried them a few times in the past).
Away from clubs and back on here, so many messages just get ignored. Even when including keywords to prove you read the profile, including requested pictures which I usually do as standard anyway or being a complete match to what they claim to be looking for, we still don't get given the time of day."
Yep, 100% correct. It does tend to be disappointing when you take the trouble to ensure you tick all the boxes before you message, then they aren't even read. |
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.......and from a personal perspective it does make me scratch my head when I read a female or couples profile that complains about all the things the guys who give us the bad reputation do, especially when they're asking where the 'genuine' guys are, then ensure I jump through all the hoops in my message, taking time over it, only for them to not even bother reading it. I get that some people get a lot, but if you want something, but can't be bothered to give it the slightest chance, how can you complain when it waves it's hands in front of your eyes? Just saying. |
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We are on here specifically looking for single men but from the huge numbers on here, very few appear to be putting any effort into their profiles. This might be because of the way they are treated but unfortunately, black silhouette profiles with cock only shots and no profile description are quite common. |
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"We are on here specifically looking for single men but from the huge numbers on here, very few appear to be putting any effort into their profiles. This might be because of the way they are treated but unfortunately, black silhouette profiles with cock only shots and no profile description are quite common."
They are beautifully done it's true! Bravo! |
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