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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I may be the worst kind of 'swinger' here for some of you hardened guys but what in your opinion has been the best ways of raising the idea with your partner?
My Mrs actually suggests a few things when a bit d*unk and during the 'Act' but it's very few and far between.   |
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"Yes communication maybe list each other fantasies and talk to each other. And if the sex is so great why cheat."
Swinging as a couple is about exploring your fantasies and sexual boundaries, she has to feel safe and secure with you in order to do this. |
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By *d4janeCouple
over a year ago
HOVE |
"So I may be the worst kind of 'swinger' here for some of you hardened guys but what in your opinion has been the best ways of raising the idea with your partner?
My Mrs actually suggests a few things when a bit d*unk and during the 'Act' but it's very few and far between. "
Give her a few glasses of wine, relax her a bit, get the conversation around to what her fantasies are and take it from there...if you can genuinely accommodate what she is into then you are halfway there.
Make her feel secure and that you are not going to run off with the 1st woman/couple you meet and be respectful of her boundaries, as she should be respectful of yours.
As everyone else has said, talk, talk and talk some more and hopefully it will be something that is a joint venture for both of you. At the end of the day it's all about having fun together as a couple.
Good luck!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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...and when you talk, explore the possibilities and don't lead her into doing anything she doesn't want to do. You both have to be very comfortable with what you're going to do. We've met couples where the female partner hasn't full realised what she's about to do, having been egged on into it by her hubby - and we've just sat there and chatted with her without it going anywhere further because it would have been wrong.
Wolf |
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By *d4janeCouple
over a year ago
HOVE |
"...and when you talk, explore the possibilities and don't lead her into doing anything she doesn't want to do. You both have to be very comfortable with what you're going to do. We've met couples where the female partner hasn't full realised what she's about to do, having been egged on into it by her hubby - and we've just sat there and chatted with her without it going anywhere further because it would have been wrong.
Wolf "
Completely agree 100%. She has to be fully up to speed and happy with everything. Well said wolfy!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So you are mainly on here as an observer rather than a player at the mo that's good try and talk to other couples and see how they got into swinging. Each story is different. And let your wife lead the way. Maybe show her fabs and see if she likes what she see's. |
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"So you are mainly on here as an observer rather than a player at the mo that's good try and talk to other couples and see how they got into swinging. Each story is different. And let your wife lead the way. Maybe show her fabs and see if she likes what she see's."
Though i have to say i would have been very annoyed if kev had joined and kept me in the dark...i never understand why ppl dont man up and suggest it, rather than having a secret life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally would talk to her, and be honest that you have joined a site to find out more about the scene because if i was her and you started asking questions about swinging and the like the first thing i would do is think why is he bringing this up all of a sudden and check your history see you have signed up as a single male to a site and you would be out on your rag *unless* you were honest with me when you bought it up.
as everyone else has said, talk talk talk! for us it was a very different situation to yours so i cant give you any specific advice but to be honest and talk! and also not throw a massive hissy fit if she doesnt want to! just let her know she is loved and you wouldnt compromise your relationship for a shag |
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Do not push her into anything. Talk it over loads,set out rules and limits and discuss them thoroughly. How would you feel if your partner ended up doing something against her will? Any doubts or lack of trust - DON'T DO IT. Just my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As you have a profile, why don't you delete it and speak to her about it? Show her fab and you can see if you can make a couples page together, gives her access to the site when she's got time on her own? Also, why don't you go along to a social together? Get to speak to other swing fans in person and take it slowly from there? Xx |
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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago
central scotland |
Among other fantasies swapping was one off the things we talked about for yrs and in the end very nervously decided to give it a go and so glad we did.
Have to say there was just a little pang of jealousy at the start but not enough to put us off and even that is no longer with us now. We still get a little nervous when meeting new cpls but I guess that adds to the excitement.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks guys, much appreciated. I do feel guilty of being on here behind her back but wanted to find out more and too be honest enjoyed watching / chatting to a few.
I'm not full of the s**t some peeps come out with but will certainly take almost 100% of that said above and hope to 'see' you soon.
Once again thanks xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks guys, much appreciated. I do feel guilty of being on here behind her back but wanted to find out more and too be honest enjoyed watching / chatting to a few.
I'm not full of the s**t some peeps come out with but will certainly take almost 100% of that said above and hope to 'see' you soon.
Once again thanks xx"
Mate ya playing with fire
As others have said communication is paramount to any relationship
But trust is the main ingredient in most swinging relationships and on that score you haven't made a very good start
The truth always outs mate and if you do manage to persaude her then make sure you NEVER slip up about how long you have been doing it
Good luck I'm so glad I ain't in your shoes though |
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