FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is it wrong?
Is it wrong?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it wrong when someone sends you a message asking to meet you, if you ask them what type of work they do, only someone got annoyed with me for asking, thats after they had told me what they did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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unless you have been deliberately rude towards someone in a message i can see little reason to be annoyed with them.
however, i would be perplexed if someone wanted to know what line of work i was in as a pre-cursor to arranging a meet |
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By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"Is it wrong when someone sends you a message asking to meet you, if you ask them what type of work they do, only someone got annoyed with me for asking, thats after they had told me what they did."
Isn't this just the 'professionals only' thread in a new form?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"not sure what they did for a living factors in any decision to meet.
if he told ya, why did you ask ? or maybe I read that wrong."
No i asked him , then he told me, we spoke on the phone, but its obvious we werent compatible so we decided not to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't mind people knowing what we do for a living and if it crops up in the social chit chat then thats fine. I'd wonder why someone was asking if they asked at the messaging stage though and would more than likely tell them to mind their own business!! |
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I was asked the other day if i worked but told him it was none of his business - it clearly states on my profile when i can meet i dont think i need to go into any more details esp at the messaging stage ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"why would you want to no?  "
Our neighbour works on a building site, if he did as well then they might know each other. Or if you met a plumber, he could be doing work at sometime down your road.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't mind people knowing what we do for a living and if it crops up in the social chit chat then thats fine. I'd wonder why someone was asking if they asked at the messaging stage though and would more than likely tell them to mind their own business!!"
Definitely this.
On a meet people do have general chitchat and information is exchanged, nothing indepth, but a general discussion may occur about the line of work you do. I think this is fairly acceptable.
However asking for that information at the sussing out if you want to meet stage is, in my opinion, not acceptable in terms of discretion. If someone asked me and I felt my profession was a factor in the meet going ahead I would tell them to fuc, err go away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it wrong when someone sends you a message asking to meet you, if you ask them what type of work they do, only someone got annoyed with me for asking, thats after they had told me what they did."
Depends on context, but IMO it's one of those conversation tools we all use at some point when getting to know someone.
Actually it is being polite to a shy'ish person as it by its very nature puts them on familiar territory and in verbal conversation often moved from the stilted one word / short phrase q&a type conversation into a flow of word exchange which is far better.
BUT if you were to say what do you do for a living cos I couldn’t possibly shag a tradesman…. Well that may annoy people  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it wrong when someone sends you a message asking to meet you, if you ask them what type of work they do, only someone got annoyed with me for asking, thats after they had told me what they did.
Depends on context, but IMO it's one of those conversation tools we all use at some point when getting to know someone.
Actually it is being polite to a shy'ish person as it by its very nature puts them on familiar territory and in verbal conversation often moved from the stilted one word / short phrase q&a type conversation into a flow of word exchange which is far better.
BUT if you were to say what do you do for a living cos I couldn’t possibly shag a tradesman…. Well that may annoy people "
Pretty much this. It takes time for me to decide if I want to play and during conversation work crops up.
At the end of the day you answer the questions you feel comfortable with, you don't have to assume it's the Spanish Inquisition! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't mind people knowing what we do for a living and if it crops up in the social chit chat then thats fine. I'd wonder why someone was asking if they asked at the messaging stage though and would more than likely tell them to mind their own business!!"
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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why would you ask someone what they do for a living?
ive had this asked me a few times never understood why someone would want to know, its not something id ever ask anyone on here
When i chat to someone one here i dont only want to talk about sex and yes normal conversation is a good way of getting to know someone but without going into their personal life and i just think asking what someone does for a living or if they have kids etc is not someting you ask
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I often ask people what they do for a living during the messaging stage.
I don't want to know who they work for and the type of job they do will not be a deal breaker or maker.... I'm just interestested in the people I meet (generally). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bollox! I just clicked the delete reply button by accident and my reply was a fairly lengthy one 
I used to ask people what they did for a living when arranging meets when I was on here as a couple. I didn't ask everyone just people I thought might be from my work. I don't understand why people are getting irrate about it. Of course it's your perogative to not answer the question but why not answer it politely? Why not say "sorry I'd prefer not to say, it's private", instead of "fuck off, it's got nothing to do with you"? 
It was only single males I used to ask because I knew the couples we met weren't anything to do with my work. I always asked politely and after they replied I would give an explenation of why I asked.
So to answer the Ops question, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with asking. I had my reasons for asking, I assume you did to.
And before people reply with so what if the people you work with come to a meet, or surely you'd recognise someone from work. I'm in the army and there's about 300 people in my Battalion and I don't know all of them but they would know me and I guarentee if one of the younger lads came to a meet and had shagged my now ex it would have been all around work by the end of the week! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't mind people knowing what we do for a living and if it crops up in the social chit chat then thats fine. I'd wonder why someone was asking if they asked at the messaging stage though and would more than likely tell them to mind their own business!!
Definitely this.
On a meet people do have general chitchat and information is exchanged, nothing indepth, but a general discussion may occur about the line of work you do. I think this is fairly acceptable.
However asking for that information at the sussing out if you want to meet stage is, in my opinion, not acceptable in terms of discretion. If someone asked me and I felt my profession was a factor in the meet going ahead I would tell them to fuc, err go away. "
and so would i, i would like to think someone met me because they liked me as a person not because of the job i do
If i had chatted to someone and we got on i wouldnt dream of turning them down because i didnt approve of their job, unless they work for inland revenue of course and would to be honest feel quite offended if i was judged on my job
of course we all want to meet people who are compatible, i met a guy last week for a drink in a pub and he was, to be honest, gastly, every other word was fucking this, wanker that, then he started talking about his mate who was a drug dealer and just not my type of person at all, but i dont see that as anyting to do with a job, anyone can me loud and crass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are assuming that they're being asked what job they do to find out if their social standing is good enough to warrant meeting. There are other reasons why someone would ask that question
It's a very negative assumption if you ask me. Besides that what is assumption???? 
People may have their own reasons for asking certain questions. I always find it's better to seek clarification before jumping to conclusions and getting the wrong end of the stick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"of course we all want to meet people who are compatible, i met a guy last week for a drink in a pub and he was, to be honest, gastly, every other word was fucking this, wanker that, then he started talking about his mate who was a drug dealer and just not my type of person at all, but i dont see that as anyting to do with a job, anyone can me loud and crass "
Well if you'd asked him his job and he said drug dealer and football hooligan it may have give you a heads up |
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.... evenings and weekends are best for me.
I'd say the same but this week and next week I'm up and down the country with work and not back home until Saturday morning, then out again Sunday night which won't leave me much of the weekend to get things done.
That's OK, I have weeks like that... what do you do by the way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People are assuming that they're being asked what job they do to find out if their social standing is good enough to warrant meeting. There are other reasons why someone would ask that question
It's a very negative assumption if you ask me. Besides that what is assumption????
People may have their own reasons for asking certain questions. I always find it's better to seek clarification before jumping to conclusions and getting the wrong end of the stick "
But jumping to conclusions and flying off the handles the only exercise i get lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People often ask what I do for a living as I've two jobs and i tell them but I don't tell them the name of the pub because I don't want them turning up. And I don't think they need to know the whole caboodle either. In turn I ask them what they do and sometimes I ask them first especially if they work nights etc. So no I don't see a problem with asking at all though it's often after we've exchanged a few messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't actually say fuck off to anyone who asked me, I wouldn't say that to anyone in a message, it was a flippant remark on a post, I'm sorry if its offended.
Asking people about what line of work they are in is fair enough, we do it all the time, if its in context with the conversation we are having and if its not specific or could identify someone. If someone said to us 'whereabouts do you work then, where exactly is that, what specifically do you do, I would be vague and not give details. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why would you want to know what someone does for a living?
How does that effect how they shag?
Just out of interest, what profesions would you meet and what wouldn't you? |
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By *abe1200Couple
over a year ago
belfast |
"Is it wrong when someone sends you a message asking to meet you, if you ask them what type of work they do, only someone got annoyed with me for asking, thats after they had told me what they did."
well i personally dont like ppl asking me anything abt my private life as i like to keep it separate frm this world.So if someone ask me where do i work n stuff they tend to put me off big time.we r not here 2 make friends 4 life we do have enough friends i guess.I dont even like asking ppl them sort of questions its their business.but then again thats just my opinion
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you want to know what someone does for a living?
How does that effect how they shag?
Just out of interest, what profesions would you meet and what wouldn't you?"
Read all the threads and your questions are already answered |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i think the main thing that puts me off telling people is i remember a few years ago when i was with the ex we had met a couple and cause we knew them maybe got a little laps in our conversation and used to talk about stuff maybe you should talk about with people off here, by that i dont mean really personal stuff but just normal chat like you would none swinging friends, anyway to cut a long story short they knew where my ex worked because the guy needed his laptop fixing and cause my ex is in that line of work he offered to do it for him so then they got onto talking about work etc
anyway we didnt see them for ages and in the mean time we had split up and then i saw this couple in chat room and the guy said hi..hows ****** (exs name lol) is he still working at ********* in ****** and actually put his comany name and where it was in a open chat room which to be honest i thought was very off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think the main thing that puts me off telling people is i remember a few years ago when i was with the ex we had met a couple and cause we knew them maybe got a little laps in our conversation and used to talk about stuff maybe you should talk about with people off here, by that i dont mean really personal stuff but just normal chat like you would none swinging friends, anyway to cut a long story short they knew where my ex worked because the guy needed his laptop fixing and cause my ex is in that line of work he offered to do it for him so then they got onto talking about work etc
anyway we didnt see them for ages and in the mean time we had split up and then i saw this couple in chat room and the guy said hi..hows ****** (exs name lol) is he still working at ********* in ****** and actually put his comany name and where it was in a open chat room which to be honest i thought was very off "
Yea that is off and he should have been told so! I think its against chat rules too if I remember correctly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i was messaged and ask what we did for a living then sorry but you wouldnt get a reply from us.
Saying that it does get bought up at parties but then i think that just general banter.
Would you be any better at having sex just cos your a lawyer?
Nope dont think so xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If i was messaged and ask what we did for a living then sorry but you wouldnt get a reply from us.
Saying that it does get bought up at parties but then i think that just general banter.
Would you be any better at having sex just cos your a lawyer?
Nope dont think so xxx"
Again, read all the responses. Your jumping to the conclusion that people are asking what you do to gauge your social standing There are many reasons why someone may ask you the question. To be friendly or like I said in my previous post to ensure that you didn't work with the person. There probably are people who would get off on having sex with people in certain jobs but I doubt there's many that actually ask the question for that sole reason |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Is it wrong when someone sends you a message asking to meet you, if you ask them what type of work they do, only someone got annoyed with me for asking, thats after they had told me what they did."
We wouldn't tell...so although not wrong, it is just a question that some people won't answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We wouldn't tell...so although not wrong, it is just a question that some people won't answer."
Which is fair enough. I just don't understand why people would be put off from meeting someone if they did ask the question Each to their own I guess  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"We wouldn't tell...so although not wrong, it is just a question that some people won't answer.
Which is fair enough. I just don't understand why people would be put off from meeting someone if they did ask the question Each to their own I guess "
Maybe people think they are not suited as they like discretion at all times.
PS, you keep telling people to read the whole thread before answering....most people answer the first post, they are allowed to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"PS, you keep telling people to read the whole thread before answering....most people answer the first post, they are allowed to."
Ha ha yes they are. But instead of typing out the answer to their questions in full I was just advising them that their questions have already been answered earlier. I wasn't being funny |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"We wouldn't tell...so although not wrong, it is just a question that some people won't answer.
Which is fair enough. I just don't understand why people would be put off from meeting someone if they did ask the question Each to their own I guess "
Actually I might change my answer.
Maybe people think others are not suited to their way of thinking if they ask personal questions.
It wouldn't be a deal breaker for us if someone asks, but if they kept asking for personal info then that would be a deal breaker. |
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"Only in a screwed up world is it OK to ask what size tits someone has but not their occupation ... I'm chuckling here."
So true!!!
I ask the question in general chit chat, when someone out of my area says he, "works in my area a lot!" So I ask "So what you do for a living then?"
I also always say, I'm a nosy cow and they dont have to answer any of my questions!! lol
Never have anyone refuse to answer, so far  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Only in a screwed up world is it OK to ask what size tits someone has but not their occupation ... I'm chuckling here."
That's why it is surreal at times, and gets mixed up in real life at times and I have to watch what I am saying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually I might change my answer.
Maybe people think others are not suited to their way of thinking if they ask personal questions.
It wouldn't be a deal breaker for us if someone asks, but if they kept asking for personal info then that would be a deal breaker."
 +1 I can totally understand that |
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"Only in a screwed up world is it OK to ask what size tits someone has but not their occupation ... I'm chuckling here.
That's why it is surreal at times, and gets mixed up in real life at times and I have to watch what I am saying. "
Actually I do have that very problem at family events, when your uncle's second wife's brother or whoever asks the more detailed question of 'who are you working for now'.... I find myself pausing whilst I mentally check if it is OK to answer. Luckily I have managed to refrain from blurting out "fuck off and mind your own.... 40F if it's a M&S bra" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People are assuming that they're being asked what job they do to find out if their social standing is good enough to warrant meeting. There are other reasons why someone would ask that question
It's a very negative assumption if you ask me. Besides that what is assumption????
People may have their own reasons for asking certain questions. I always find it's better to seek clarification before jumping to conclusions and getting the wrong end of the stick "
It does however make me feel uncomfortable when they tell me they are in an extremely well paid job and drive the latest porsche, and I turn up in a battered 1996 proton, as a lowly admin worker thats all I can afford. But it wouldn't stop me meeting them though the porsche guy did park two spaces away from mine leaving an empty space between us, now that kind of did put me off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No offence intended, but sounds as if there's some reverse snobbery going on here!!
If swinging to you is simply turning up, shagging, then leaving, then fine. But many folk on here also say they enjoy the social side of it too, so I would have thought that, "so what do you do for a living?" would be quite a normal part of general conversation! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't mind people knowing what we do for a living and if it crops up in the social chit chat then thats fine. I'd wonder why someone was asking if they asked at the messaging stage though and would more than likely tell them to mind their own business!!"
+1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive been asked what football team I support as it appears this person has an aversion to fans of certain teams "
i know someone like that too - the nose is instantly turned up if they support anyone other than her team !
utter madness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Telling someonme my jobtitle would be akin to giving out my works direct line as my job is somewhat unusual. I wouldn't be offended, if someone asked but I would be offended if they didn't understand why I didn't tell them. |
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"Telling someonme my jobtitle would be akin to giving out my works direct line as my job is somewhat unusual. I wouldn't be offended, if someone asked but I would be offended if they didn't understand why I didn't tell them. "
OMG... are you the prime minister?!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People are assuming that they're being asked what job they do to find out if their social standing is good enough to warrant meeting. There are other reasons why someone would ask that question
It's a very negative assumption if you ask me. Besides that what is assumption????
People may have their own reasons for asking certain questions. I always find it's better to seek clarification before jumping to conclusions and getting the wrong end of the stick
It does however make me feel uncomfortable when they tell me they are in an extremely well paid job and drive the latest porsche, and I turn up in a battered 1996 proton, as a lowly admin worker thats all I can afford. But it wouldn't stop me meeting them though the porsche guy did park two spaces away from mine leaving an empty space between us, now that kind of did put me off "
Probably over the car parking spaces so no one parked next to him to avoid dents and scratches. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally, I don't think it's anybody's buisness what line of work people are in during there 'vanilla' world."
People disclosure that information at their leisure. it's not mandatory for a meet. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"No offence intended, but sounds as if there's some reverse snobbery going on here!!
If swinging to you is simply turning up, shagging, then leaving, then fine. But many folk on here also say they enjoy the social side of it too, so I would have thought that, "so what do you do for a living?" would be quite a normal part of general conversation!"
You can have a social side to swinging without knowing the ins and outs of a cats arse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No offence intended, but sounds as if there's some reverse snobbery going on here!!
If swinging to you is simply turning up, shagging, then leaving, then fine. But many folk on here also say they enjoy the social side of it too, so I would have thought that, "so what do you do for a living?" would be quite a normal part of general conversation!
You can have a social side to swinging without knowing the ins and outs of a cats arse "
lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To be honest, im not that interested in what people do, although i have never really wanted to have sex with a fireman because the ones i knew where i live were annoying types.  |
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"wher people work......really....does it matter...prob not "
It probably doesn't.... but if people haven't got a sufficient amount of functioning grey matter to respond with even the vaguest of generalised descriptions for the sake of keeping the conversation going on a friendly note (examples… I’m an office bod in the public sector, I work in engineering, I work in retail, I do repair work for manufacturing equipment) … then quite frankly they are more likely to choke on a dog shit sandwich than get into my knickers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What on earth does it matter what a potential meet does for a job?"
Maybe it's a vetting process to ensure its not someone you know.
Don't piss on your own doorstep and all that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No offence intended, but sounds as if there's some reverse snobbery going on here!!
If swinging to you is simply turning up, shagging, then leaving, then fine. But many folk on here also say they enjoy the social side of it too, so I would have thought that, "so what do you do for a living?" would be quite a normal part of general conversation!
You can have a social side to swinging without knowing the ins and outs of a cats arse "
Just worked out that Rugby must be a vet!!! |
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