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Am I being unreasonable?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi
I don't really get the opportunity to meet as much as I'd like due to being married and my wife not knowing about this part of my life. I have been lucky enough to have had a bit of interest here and have arranged a few "to be confirmed" dates with some men who appear to be the sort of nice people I'm looking for. The hang up being that they can't accommodate so we're looking at hotels when we both can make it hence the not confirmed. I do want to meet these people and they me so as far as I'm concerned it's a deal.
My problem lies in new people contacting me wanting to meet but as soon as I say there is a bit of a wait all I get is "Have fun!". Am I being unreasonable or wrong to say it's going to be a while? It's not like I'm some untouched flower or anything, we are all here for the same thing. I don't want to drop my life and run around there, as I said I have limited time and if I take them up then the people I promised first get delayed.
I suppose the truth is if they're like that then they aren't the people for me and I should be a little less sensitive about it but still  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's unreasonable at all, I don't meet people straight away either. It might just be that they use the site differently and message at the time they're trying to meet. Or perhaps they're taking it as you turning them down, that would be my guess? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi
I don't really get the opportunity to meet as much as I'd like due to being married and my wife not knowing about this part of my life. I have been lucky enough to have had a bit of interest here and have arranged a few "to be confirmed" dates with some men who appear to be the sort of nice people I'm looking for. The hang up being that they can't accommodate so we're looking at hotels when we both can make it hence the not confirmed. I do want to meet these people and they me so as far as I'm concerned it's a deal.
My problem lies in new people contacting me wanting to meet but as soon as I say there is a bit of a wait all I get is "Have fun!". Am I being unreasonable or wrong to say it's going to be a while? It's not like I'm some untouched flower or anything, we are all here for the same thing. I don't want to drop my life and run around there, as I said I have limited time and if I take them up then the people I promised first get delayed.
I suppose the truth is if they're like that then they aren't the people for me and I should be a little less sensitive about it but still "
They're politely wishing you well because it's become apparent through your conversation that you're no longer what they're looking for...I don't see what they're doing wrong... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi
I don't really get the opportunity to meet as much as I'd like due to being married and my wife not knowing about this part of my life. I have been lucky enough to have had a bit of interest here and have arranged a few "to be confirmed" dates with some men who appear to be the sort of nice people I'm looking for. The hang up being that they can't accommodate so we're looking at hotels when we both can make it hence the not confirmed. I do want to meet these people and they me so as far as I'm concerned it's a deal.
My problem lies in new people contacting me wanting to meet but as soon as I say there is a bit of a wait all I get is "Have fun!". Am I being unreasonable or wrong to say it's going to be a while? It's not like I'm some untouched flower or anything, we are all here for the same thing. I don't want to drop my life and run around there, as I said I have limited time and if I take them up then the people I promised first get delayed.
I suppose the truth is if they're like that then they aren't the people for me and I should be a little less sensitive about it but still
They're politely wishing you well because it's become apparent through your conversation that you're no longer what they're looking for...I don't see what they're doing wrong..."
They're not doing anything wrong apart from making me feel a bit cheap and unreasonable. |
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"Hi
I don't really get the opportunity to meet as much as I'd like due to being married and my wife not knowing about this part of my life. I have been lucky enough to have had a bit of interest here and have arranged a few "to be confirmed" dates with some men who appear to be the sort of nice people I'm looking for. The hang up being that they can't accommodate so we're looking at hotels when we both can make it hence the not confirmed. I do want to meet these people and they me so as far as I'm concerned it's a deal.
My problem lies in new people contacting me wanting to meet but as soon as I say there is a bit of a wait all I get is "Have fun!". Am I being unreasonable or wrong to say it's going to be a while? It's not like I'm some untouched flower or anything, we are all here for the same thing. I don't want to drop my life and run around there, as I said I have limited time and if I take them up then the people I promised first get delayed.
I suppose the truth is if they're like that then they aren't the people for me and I should be a little less sensitive about it but still
They're politely wishing you well because it's become apparent through your conversation that you're no longer what they're looking for...I don't see what they're doing wrong...
They're not doing anything wrong apart from making me feel a bit cheap and unreasonable."
You're responsible for how you feel about yourself not them. You're not cheap or unreasonable, you know that |
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"Hi
I don't really get the opportunity to meet as much as I'd like due to being married and my wife not knowing about this part of my life. I have been lucky enough to have had a bit of interest here and have arranged a few "to be confirmed" dates with some men who appear to be the sort of nice people I'm looking for. The hang up being that they can't accommodate so we're looking at hotels when we both can make it hence the not confirmed. I do want to meet these people and they me so as far as I'm concerned it's a deal.
My problem lies in new people contacting me wanting to meet but as soon as I say there is a bit of a wait all I get is "Have fun!". Am I being unreasonable or wrong to say it's going to be a while? It's not like I'm some untouched flower or anything, we are all here for the same thing. I don't want to drop my life and run around there, as I said I have limited time and if I take them up then the people I promised first get delayed.
I suppose the truth is if they're like that then they aren't the people for me and I should be a little less sensitive about it but still
No your not unreasonable at all. The type of guys you want to meet would understand and go along with your requests while the wankers, arseholes and shitheads won't.
Seems like your doing bloody well in filtering and avoiding the latter.
Keep it up the good work and youll meet what you want in time  "
They aren't wankers, arse holes and shit heads because they want to meet sooner than someone else does  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
You're responsible for how you feel about yourself not them. You're not cheap or unreasonable, you know that "
I know, I am over sensitive about these things, I do need to toughen up. I just feel if they want to meet and I do but in a few weeks then it would be nice to say, ah sorry I'm after someone now, or love to, let me know when instead of some cheap shot or other. See, over sensitive, I should just delete and move on and put it down to experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What Afterhrs and Nice Couple said. You’re by far not the only one who has to book things in advance. You’re just filtering out the impulse meeters. I have a strong suspicion that they tend to be the text wankers and nut jobs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi
I don't really get the opportunity to meet as much as I'd like due to being married and my wife not knowing about this part of my life. I have been lucky enough to have had a bit of interest here and have arranged a few "to be confirmed" dates with some men who appear to be the sort of nice people I'm looking for. The hang up being that they can't accommodate so we're looking at hotels when we both can make it hence the not confirmed. I do want to meet these people and they me so as far as I'm concerned it's a deal.
My problem lies in new people contacting me wanting to meet but as soon as I say there is a bit of a wait all I get is "Have fun!". Am I being unreasonable or wrong to say it's going to be a while? It's not like I'm some untouched flower or anything, we are all here for the same thing. I don't want to drop my life and run around there, as I said I have limited time and if I take them up then the people I promised first get delayed.
I suppose the truth is if they're like that then they aren't the people for me and I should be a little less sensitive about it but still
No your not unreasonable at all. The type of guys you want to meet would understand and go along with your requests while the wankers, arseholes and shitheads won't.
Seems like your doing bloody well in filtering and avoiding the latter.
Keep it up the good work and youll meet what you want in time
They aren't wankers, arse holes and shit heads because they want to meet sooner than someone else does "
Sorry, misread so deleted ooops.. my little faux pas, (before you posted it out  Lol)
. No op, your not cheap and unreasonable.
You'll meet someone eventually
Now ill feck off n side step out of this thread  |
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"
You're responsible for how you feel about yourself not them. You're not cheap or unreasonable, you know that
I know, I am over sensitive about these things, I do need to toughen up. I just feel if they want to meet and I do but in a few weeks then it would be nice to say, ah sorry I'm after someone now, or love to, let me know when instead of some cheap shot or other. See, over sensitive, I should just delete and move on and put it down to experience. "
If they're saying have fun it isn't a cheap shot. I agree that you need to toughen up (in the nicest possible way) or your experience here will be less than joyful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi
I don't really get the opportunity to meet as much as I'd like due to being married and my wife not knowing about this part of my life. I have been lucky enough to have had a bit of interest here and have arranged a few "to be confirmed" dates with some men who appear to be the sort of nice people I'm looking for. The hang up being that they can't accommodate so we're looking at hotels when we both can make it hence the not confirmed. I do want to meet these people and they me so as far as I'm concerned it's a deal.
My problem lies in new people contacting me wanting to meet but as soon as I say there is a bit of a wait all I get is "Have fun!". Am I being unreasonable or wrong to say it's going to be a while? It's not like I'm some untouched flower or anything, we are all here for the same thing. I don't want to drop my life and run around there, as I said I have limited time and if I take them up then the people I promised first get delayed.
I suppose the truth is if they're like that then they aren't the people for me and I should be a little less sensitive about it but still
No your not unreasonable at all. The type of guys you want to meet would understand and go along with your requests while the wankers, arseholes and shitheads won't.
Seems like your doing bloody well in filtering and avoiding the latter.
Keep it up the good work and youll meet what you want in time
They aren't wankers, arse holes and shit heads because they want to meet sooner than someone else does
Sorry, misread so deleted ooops.. my little faux pas, (before you posted it out Lol)
. No op, your not cheap and unreasonable.
You'll meet someone eventually
Now ill feck off n side step out of this thread "
LOL all advice gratefully received, no need to feck off on my behalf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You're responsible for how you feel about yourself not them. You're not cheap or unreasonable, you know that
I know, I am over sensitive about these things, I do need to toughen up. I just feel if they want to meet and I do but in a few weeks then it would be nice to say, ah sorry I'm after someone now, or love to, let me know when instead of some cheap shot or other. See, over sensitive, I should just delete and move on and put it down to experience.
If they're saying have fun it isn't a cheap shot. I agree that you need to toughen up (in the nicest possible way) or your experience here will be less than joyful. "
I agree, its not a cheap shot at you at all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
You're responsible for how you feel about yourself not them. You're not cheap or unreasonable, you know that
I know, I am over sensitive about these things, I do need to toughen up. I just feel if they want to meet and I do but in a few weeks then it would be nice to say, ah sorry I'm after someone now, or love to, let me know when instead of some cheap shot or other. See, over sensitive, I should just delete and move on and put it down to experience.
If they're saying have fun it isn't a cheap shot. I agree that you need to toughen up (in the nicest possible way) or your experience here will be less than joyful. "
Have fun is one of the more polite but I' sure you get the jist of what is said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi
I don't really get the opportunity to meet as much as I'd like due to being married and my wife not knowing about this part of my life. I have been lucky enough to have had a bit of interest here and have arranged a few "to be confirmed" dates with some men who appear to be the sort of nice people I'm looking for. The hang up being that they can't accommodate so we're looking at hotels when we both can make it hence the not confirmed. I do want to meet these people and they me so as far as I'm concerned it's a deal.
My problem lies in new people contacting me wanting to meet but as soon as I say there is a bit of a wait all I get is "Have fun!". Am I being unreasonable or wrong to say it's going to be a while? It's not like I'm some untouched flower or anything, we are all here for the same thing. I don't want to drop my life and run around there, as I said I have limited time and if I take them up then the people I promised first get delayed.
I suppose the truth is if they're like that then they aren't the people for me and I should be a little less sensitive about it but still
No your not unreasonable at all. The type of guys you want to meet would understand and go along with your requests while the wankers, arseholes and shitheads won't.
Seems like your doing bloody well in filtering and avoiding the latter.
Keep it up the good work and youll meet what you want in time
They aren't wankers, arse holes and shit heads because they want to meet sooner than someone else does
Sorry, misread so deleted ooops.. my little faux pas, (before you posted it out Lol)
. No op, your not cheap and unreasonable.
You'll meet someone eventually
Now ill feck off n side step out of this thread
LOL all advice gratefully received, no need to feck off on my behalf"
Ok i'll tiptoe back in lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Possibly their interpretation of "a bit of a wait" means your busy meeting other guys and so your not looking?
Just my opinion.
I say "have fun" when rejected as i bear no animosity to being turned down.
Remember this is all text, so the inflection of the spoken language is missing, making it easy to mis interpretation |
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"
You're responsible for how you feel about yourself not them. You're not cheap or unreasonable, you know that
I know, I am over sensitive about these things, I do need to toughen up. I just feel if they want to meet and I do but in a few weeks then it would be nice to say, ah sorry I'm after someone now, or love to, let me know when instead of some cheap shot or other. See, over sensitive, I should just delete and move on and put it down to experience.
If they're saying have fun it isn't a cheap shot. I agree that you need to toughen up (in the nicest possible way) or your experience here will be less than joyful.
Have fun is one of the more polite but I' sure you get the jist of what is said."
I do get the gist. Its not nice of people to send rude messages. If they're abusive, report them. But remember other people's bitterness isn't a reflection on you.
|
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"
You're responsible for how you feel about yourself not them. You're not cheap or unreasonable, you know that
I know, I am over sensitive about these things, I do need to toughen up. I just feel if they want to meet and I do but in a few weeks then it would be nice to say, ah sorry I'm after someone now, or love to, let me know when instead of some cheap shot or other. See, over sensitive, I should just delete and move on and put it down to experience.
If they're saying have fun it isn't a cheap shot. I agree that you need to toughen up (in the nicest possible way) or your experience here will be less than joyful.
Have fun is one of the more polite but I' sure you get the jist of what is said.
I do get the gist. Its not nice of people to send rude messages. If they're abusive, report them. But remember other people's bitterness isn't a reflection on you.
"
Exactly. It says more about them than it does you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You're responsible for how you feel about yourself not them. You're not cheap or unreasonable, you know that
I know, I am over sensitive about these things, I do need to toughen up. I just feel if they want to meet and I do but in a few weeks then it would be nice to say, ah sorry I'm after someone now, or love to, let me know when instead of some cheap shot or other. See, over sensitive, I should just delete and move on and put it down to experience.
If they're saying have fun it isn't a cheap shot. I agree that you need to toughen up (in the nicest possible way) or your experience here will be less than joyful.
Have fun is one of the more polite but I' sure you get the jist of what is said.
I do get the gist. Its not nice of people to send rude messages. If they're abusive, report them. But remember other people's bitterness isn't a reflection on you.
"
I wouldn't worry about it.
Get a glass of your favourite tipple, kick back n watch a film. Tomorrow's a new day |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I wouldn't worry about it.
Get a glass of your favourite tipple, kick back n watch a film. Tomorrow's a new day "
Yes today is a new day and I'm feeling better.
Thank you everyone for your input, it all helped XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi
I don't really get the opportunity to meet as much as I'd like due to being married and my wife not knowing about this part of my life. I have been lucky enough to have had a bit of interest here and have arranged a few "to be confirmed" dates with some men who appear to be the sort of nice people I'm looking for. The hang up being that they can't accommodate so we're looking at hotels when we both can make it hence the not confirmed. I do want to meet these people and they me so as far as I'm concerned it's a deal.
My problem lies in new people contacting me wanting to meet but as soon as I say there is a bit of a wait all I get is "Have fun!". Am I being unreasonable or wrong to say it's going to be a while? It's not like I'm some untouched flower or anything, we are all here for the same thing. I don't want to drop my life and run around there, as I said I have limited time and if I take them up then the people I promised first get delayed.
I suppose the truth is if they're like that then they aren't the people for me and I should be a little less sensitive about it but still "
Not really its your choice your time-scale if it bothers someone else then they are best avoided well thats how I see it anyway. |
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