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How you really feel watching your man
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Ouples....newly converted to the possible joys of swinging , but am really struugggling wither the thought of watching the man I love fuck another woman does work or will it affect our relationship, realise I am going to have to Long with it but what is the reality |
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Sounds like a slow moving cat crash. I've dated a girl who felt the same (I wanted to swing). Nothing but years of frustration resulted. Assuming you arent married and don't have kids then abandon ship. |
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Firstly you don’t ever have to go along with anything, if one part of the couple ever feels uncomfortable about anything it stops without any guilt being placed. If that is not something that would happen you both aren’t ready for this.
If you feel you are ready try taking it slowly, go to a social, see how you feel about potentially another lady flirting with your partner, find out if it excited you or made you feel sick with worry. Possibly try a club with no expectations to play, see how you feel about that environment. Or meet on a soft swap basis first?
You can really ever tell how you will feel until it’s happening, so go with the agreement if you don’t like it, it stops and same for him, we also chatted about it before hand and agreed with each other if we didn’t like it we would put it behind us, it was something we both wanted to try, it didn’t work but it’s not going to affect our relationship. Good luck xx |
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"He expects me to join in is this likely, what do I do...nervous and will be first time tonight"
What do you want to do?
I think you should cancel this meet then discuss this with your partner.
How any of us felt is irrelevant really |
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" Ouples....newly converted to the possible joys of swinging , but am really struugggling wither the thought of watching the man I love fuck another woman does work or will it affect our relationship, realise I am going to have to Long with it but what is the reality"
Around 30% of the population are hardwired for monogamy and swinging will do nothing but make their lives miserable. Everything you have said suggests you're in that 30%. |
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If you are not happy then believe me it will show during your meet and make everyone feel awkward and probably deflate you even more.
Best advice i can give is to start soft swinging first and see how it progresses. Slowly slowly catchy monkey.
It's a marathon not a sprint. Good luck. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"If you are not happy then believe me it will show during your meet and make everyone feel awkward and probably deflate you even more.
Best advice i can give is to start soft swinging first and see how it progresses. Slowly slowly catchy monkey.
It's a marathon not a sprint. Good luck. "
I can honestly say I just loved it when I was here as a couple. I loved it in so many different ways. Watching him physically looked good, watching how he treated the person was great, watching him fuck quite close up was explicit and very horny especially if it was a guy but women too. I felt pride that he was my boyfriend, excited that we could be this naughty. I loved to watch him doing something he liked doing. I enjoyed the sex we would have alone later.
Very different to FWBs fucking others. I don’t get the emotional high I got with a man I was in love with. If I’m out with an FWB then fucking someone else is fun and horny still but I’m
Not buzzing quite so much.
V x |
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" Ouples....newly converted to the possible joys of swinging , but am really struugggling wither the thought of watching the man I love fuck another woman does work or will it affect our relationship, realise I am going to have to Long with it but what is the reality"
Absolutely LOVE it.. Not jealous at all, we're together 20yrs, the way I look at it we both have fun.... Love seeing another woman finding him attractive |
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Of course you will have niggley doubts, it's gonna be the first time you watch your man fuck another woman but that's all it is 'a fuck'.... he makes love to you !!!
But like others have said i would do it at a club where if you want to call time on it, there will be other people present for the other party so not a waste of time or as embarrassing, that's how we did our first time !! and take it slow !!
good luck however you decide |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always had the fantasy of seeing my man have sex with another woman. He didn't like the thought to begin with because he thought as a woman, I'd feel insecure. When he finally done it he saw exactly how turned on I was. It took meeting a few women for him to get there but bless him he soon found out how much I liked it!
If you're ready to open up your relationship- take it at your pace. That's not to say leave your man out though otherwise he'll feel like a spectator. No one wants that. Try strapon fun? Both you girls pleasuring him together.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My man isn't everyone's cuppa tea and the usual response from women is that they'd Fuck him to have me... complete no no and a turn off. So when a woman does actually join after seeing if we are all on mutual terms - seeing her want him is a huge turn on. Not as much as me though as I still get a major buzz when I'm around him or he gets it on with me  never had this connection before grrr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It sounds like you are not ready for this step yet....we started playing with a female earlier on this year and maybe had about 6 meets...I think I was 99.9% ready but as time has gone by and complications from a health issue I have...we are taking a break...how does it feel watching him?...incredibly indescribably hot and horny...like your mind exploding...however I must admit there is also a little pain...I think this negative element for me may not have arose if my health issue hadn't arrived & complicated things but I really needed a break from it to figure out what I'm happy with...so I'm just a bit confused at the moment about what I want x |
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Look at it like compulsive shopping...... In the Instant... You need/want/must buy the item here and now..... On the other hand the item will still be in the shop next week, next month, next year... Do you realy need it???? |
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We joined here because i wanted to watch my man be used by other women. So far it works well for us. I love to watch but i don't have to be present to enjoy iy. I also like hearing stories of his meets and see some pics and vids if some are taken. And i sometimes play with other girls too.  |
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I don't think you can really be sure until you try.
We talked a lot about swinging and what we were and weren't open to trying before dipping our toes in.
As it turned out, it was more of a jump in at the deep end with full swap and it was great.
Thankfully, we both discovered that we enjoy watching each other pleasuring others.
Nita |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"Firstly you don’t ever have to go along with anything, if one part of the couple ever feels uncomfortable about anything it stops without any guilt being placed. If that is not something that would happen you both aren’t ready for this.
If you feel you are ready try taking it slowly, go to a social, see how you feel about potentially another lady flirting with your partner, find out if it excited you or made you feel sick with worry. Possibly try a club with no expectations to play, see how you feel about that environment. Or meet on a soft swap basis first?
You can really ever tell how you will feel until it’s happening, so go with the agreement if you don’t like it, it stops and same for him, we also chatted about it before hand and agreed with each other if we didn’t like it we would put it behind us, it was something we both wanted to try, it didn’t work but it’s not going to affect our relationship. Good luck xx"
Great advice. Exactly the advice we would give |
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"He expects me to join in is this likely, what do I do...nervous and will be first time tonight"
First time watching him ?
Or first time swinging ?
And I’m not sure how you join in when you’re straight if it’s him and another woman . There’s bound to be a bit of closeness and she may feel awkward , especially if she senses you’re not really into it .
Sounds like you don’t really want to do it , so if that’s the case , walk away . Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with . |
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You both have to be 100% on board with it. It sounds like you are not ready to go that next step. Communication is the key, you need to talk and be honest with each other, and then talk some more. You should never feel pressured into doing anything you are not comfortable with.
When we first started my hubby was more enthusiastic than I was, I was scared, not sure how I would feel, and tons of other emotions and thoughts. We talked and talked and promised that if either of us felt it was not right or we were not comfortable we would stop.
Having taken that step, we have both played with others sometimes together sometimes with one of us playing and the other watching. Whne my hubby is playing with another woman I feel so turned on and love that he is giving this woman a good time and a glimpse of what I live with everyday. It has brought us much closer together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Ouples....newly converted to the possible joys of swinging , but am really struugggling wither the thought of watching the man I love fuck another woman does work or will it affect our relationship, realise I am going to have to Long with it but what is the reality"
it affects many women, so the fact you've started this thread says to me maybe this isn't for you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has the potential for someone getting upset mid play and storming out of the room crying.....
I’m not wishing bad on you Op but I think I have seen this movie before.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Firstly you don’t ever have to go along with anything, if one part of the couple ever feels uncomfortable about anything it stops without any guilt being placed. If that is not something that would happen you both aren’t ready for this.
If you feel you are ready try taking it slowly, go to a social, see how you feel about potentially another lady flirting with your partner, find out if it excited you or made you feel sick with worry. Possibly try a club with no expectations to play, see how you feel about that environment. Or meet on a soft swap basis first?
You can really ever tell how you will feel until it’s happening, so go with the agreement if you don’t like it, it stops and same for him, we also chatted about it before hand and agreed with each other if we didn’t like it we would put it behind us, it was something we both wanted to try, it didn’t work but it’s not going to affect our relationship. Good luck xx"
Fantastic advice  |
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" Ouples....newly converted to the possible joys of swinging , but am really struugggling wither the thought of watching the man I love fuck another woman does work or will it affect our relationship, realise I am going to have to Long with it but what is the reality"
I have found that as long as I am involved somehow (hands on, not just standing back and watching) then I am fine with it. It's just sex after all, not love. It all comes down to trust x |
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"You both have to be 100% on board with it. It sounds like you are not ready to go that next step. Communication is the key, you need to talk and be honest with each other, and then talk some more. You should never feel pressured into doing anything you are not comfortable with.
When we first started my hubby was more enthusiastic than I was, I was scared, not sure how I would feel, and tons of other emotions and thoughts. We talked and talked and promised that if either of us felt it was not right or we were not comfortable we would stop.
Having taken that step, we have both played with others sometimes together sometimes with one of us playing and the other watching. Whne my hubby is playing with another woman I feel so turned on and love that he is giving this woman a good time and a glimpse of what I live with everyday. It has brought us much closer together"
Great advice. If you are uncertain, talk. Try a club to get a feel for how others are, see how you feel then. Maybe play in front of others and if and when you feel like it, invite others to join you. At any time you feel uncomfortable, just politely say you’d like to stop or slow down. You should never feel you have to do something for someone else. It is about enjoyment and having great sex  |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"Sounds like you are not quite ready. Make boundaries that you know you are comfortable with, see how you feel after that then extend the boundaries when you feel you are ready. "
Exactly this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I felt like this at first but went ahead with a ffm meet and I loved watching her with my man it was a turn on and now I want to see more it's strange because it scared the crap out of me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally. I love it! But it seems to me you are not really ready for this yet. Take it steady. Swinging will still be around in 100 years from now! Try clubs, parties or same room fun with others. And have safe word which means 'I want this to stop. NOW' no questions. No pressure. It will make you feel safer. Trust me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isn’t it all about exploring and finding your boundaries? Don’t agree with the car crash comments above .... take your time to see what works for both of you. |
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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon tyne |
"Feels like car crash already "
In that case I really wouldn't do it. You have to be absolutely sure you want to do something like this or it can just blow your whole relationship up.
Gem x |
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