FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do ladies make first contact
Do ladies make first contact
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It seems that the guys are the ones to make contact with ladies first, which is fine but I was wondering if you ladies do contact us guys first... Or maybe it's just me that doesn't get first contact lol |
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i have done very occasionally. The problem is thatby the time i've gone through my inbox and cleared out winks and friends invites, i've been online for ages and haven't had chance to peek at the forums! So i come over here for a natter and a giggle and then its time to log out. So its rare that i get a chance to browse. Though i have mailed a couple of forumites and had a very nice time thank you as a result... |
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Well I am always the one who send messages to guys as its usually me they wanna shag...lol
I am very selective in my choice so never leave it to hubby to choose
A lot of women make the first contact but dont always get proper replies as I find a lot of timewasters or guys who just chicken out at last minute
xxxx |
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"had a few ladies message me for a meet "
Yes Darling, I messaged you first to scrounge a lift to a Blackpool party we were both going to; that was before I actually knew where you lived. You still picked me up though Of course the rest is history with me moving in as soon as I get that elusive job! xxx |
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Yes, some women do make the first contact. Occasionally it's a really good email and very straight to the point, which I like.
However, not keen on single line/single word messages like "hello", "where do you live" for the obvious reasons!!
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"It seems that the guys are the ones to make contact with ladies first, which is fine but I was wondering if you ladies do contact us guys first... Or maybe it's just me that doesn't get first contact lol"
i can only comment on me...no,
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do occasionally but am always wary as I know I am not most mens cup of tea.
At least I know that I am what they are looking for if they make first contact x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do occasionally but am always wary as I know I am not most mens cup of tea.
At least I know that I am what they are looking for if they make first contact x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do it all the time
Saves deleting all the messages from men I am not interested in I just contact the ones that I like the profile of and are what I am looking for x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes they do, but more in relation to a forum post than from browsing profiles I think. "
no
i fi look at profiles and see one i am drawn to i message them and past 2 times i have made 1st contact and not been onthe forums |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just love these generalisation topics.... Of course SOME ladies make first contact, others probably don't and still more would except they have lots of existing mail's from males |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I very very rarely make 1st contact... ive probably only done it a handful of times and would only have done if the profile stated they liked BBW or larger women... |
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"I have been known to send the odd message to inform the gent how much I appreciate his pics. No need for that as I can FAB their pics now.
"
You mean its possible to fab single men's pics, oh no, now I'm going to get really depressed.....
Lol
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"Yes they do, but more in relation to a forum post than from browsing profiles I think. "
You have got to be joking right. Why fish in a small pond when there is a huge ocean out there.
I do my best to avoud male forumites as playmates...... the hens start to chuck too loud and oh the feckin' pecking.
There are 100's of funny, smart, totally lush guys out there, enjoying life under the radar. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Yes they do, but more in relation to a forum post than from browsing profiles I think.
You have got to be joking right. Why fish in a small pond when there is a huge ocean out there.
I do my best to avoud male forumites as playmates...... the hens start to chuck too loud and oh the feckin' pecking.
There are 100's of funny, smart, totally lush guys out there, enjoying life under the radar."
Very true. Although I have met because of getting to know people on the forum, I think the admin said the forum members are about 0.1% of all the members. Talk about restricting your choices! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I like the look of someone's profile and pics and they are in the area then yes do contact them, fabbing pics does make it easy to get their attention lol |
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"Yes they do, but more in relation to a forum post than from browsing profiles I think.
You have got to be joking right. Why fish in a small pond when there is a huge ocean out there.
I do my best to avoud male forumites as playmates...... the hens start to chuck too loud and oh the feckin' pecking.
There are 100's of funny, smart, totally lush guys out there, enjoying life under the radar.
Very true. Although I have met because of getting to know people on the forum, I think the admin said the forum members are about 0.1% of all the members. Talk about restricting your choices!"
I agree with you both, but what I wrote previously was just my experience so far: I've had more messages from forumites than from browsers.
Of course living in the arse end of nowhere might mean browsers are thin on the ground in my patch. The curse of living in a small pond! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been contacted by women lately I think women are quite specific in what they look for and so profile needs to be fairly specific and have good pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont as a rule make first contact, i get enough mail off here from guys without having the need to trall thro profiles and messaging guys first
I find it easier to just reply to guys i like that message me first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread is a good one, it highlights the guys dilemma (guys meaning girls and guys).
Some site users complain of full inboxes, some like that as it gives a broad choice. Some people dont make the first move whilst others do. Very interesting, I shall dash of an email to Sydney straight away.
Seriously though, I dont know why I dont message first, I think its down to, not enjoying waiting for a message to be read, or it being instadeleted.....
I sent a message yesterday though (ooo'er, broken personal rule), but the lady in question is damn, well just damn..... (and yes I know I wasnt meeting, but come on, I'm a man, I have needs!)
I think I shall stick to my approach, might mean I miss out on a lot of wonderful folks, but occasionally I have a browse and let my halo slip....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I like the look of someone's profile and pics and they are in the area then yes do contact them, fabbing pics does make it easy to get their attention lol "
some guys think just looking at their profile is you making contact lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I like the look of someone's profile and pics and they are in the area then yes do contact them, fabbing pics does make it easy to get their attention lol
some guys think just looking at their profile is you making contact lol"
Oh the joys of stealth mode |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I'm just guessing then that none of you lovely ladies are bothered about me x"
oh bloody hell i'll meet you at chams on the 16th stop moaning ffs lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be totally honest the main reason i dont contact guys is because i work on the theory that if they liked me they would have contacted me and the reson they havnt is because im not their type, so i see no point in mailing them |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Well I'm just guessing then that none of you lovely ladies are bothered about me x
oh bloody hell i'll meet you at chams on the 16th stop moaning ffs lol "
Give him a good spanking for being such a big baby while you're there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be totally honest the main reason i dont contact guys is because i work on the theory that if they liked me they would have contacted me and the reson they havnt is because im not their type, so i see no point in mailing them " good point i work on same thing , lol x I let them mail me x |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"To be totally honest the main reason i dont contact guys is because i work on the theory that if they liked me they would have contacted me and the reson they havnt is because im not their type, so i see no point in mailing them "
I do this 90% of the time but I get messaged a lot by people far too far away for me to meet. So sometimes I go on advanced search to find single men in my area who can accommodate. I'll probably start being more pro-active about it in 2012 as waiting for a guy who ticks all my boxes to message me mught take some time! |
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"To be totally honest the main reason i dont contact guys is because i work on the theory that if they liked me they would have contacted me and the reson they havnt is because im not their type, so i see no point in mailing them " tbf if everyone adopted that attitude then no one would msg anyone. If you like the look of someone whats the worst that could happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I'm just guessing then that none of you lovely ladies are bothered about me x
oh bloody hell i'll meet you at chams on the 16th stop moaning ffs lol "
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"To be totally honest the main reason i dont contact guys is because i work on the theory that if they liked me they would have contacted me and the reson they havnt is because im not their type, so i see no point in mailing them tbf if everyone adopted that attitude then no one would msg anyone. If you like the look of someone whats the worst that could happen"
They don't reply. Hurts my feelings. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"It seems that the guys are the ones to make contact with ladies first, which is fine but I was wondering if you ladies do contact us guys first... Or maybe it's just me that doesn't get first contact lol"
It's rare but I have contacted one or two single guys.
One didn't reply and the other one we have now met a few times. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"To be totally honest the main reason i dont contact guys is because i work on the theory that if they liked me they would have contacted me and the reson they havnt is because im not their type, so i see no point in mailing them tbf if everyone adopted that attitude then no one would msg anyone. If you like the look of someone whats the worst that could happen
They don't reply. Hurts my feelings. checks profile and pics. Comes back dubious to above statement. Pull the other one "
Actually, some don't! Everyone has different tastes. |
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"To be totally honest the main reason i dont contact guys is because i work on the theory that if they liked me they would have contacted me and the reson they havnt is because im not their type, so i see no point in mailing them tbf if everyone adopted that attitude then no one would msg anyone. If you like the look of someone whats the worst that could happen
They don't reply. Hurts my feelings. checks profile and pics. Comes back dubious to above statement. Pull the other one
Actually, some don't! Everyone has different tastes." hmm there is my first omg moment today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have done a few times, usually when I think they are waaaaay out of my league lol! in for a penny eh? I've always had replies, always polite and friendly and even the odd success
I don't do at the minute really, cos I'm not in a position to meet right now, but once I'm feeling up to it, why not? you don't get if ya don't ask
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... i get enough mail off here from guys without having the need to trall thro profiles and messaging guys first "
Therein lies the reason I DO search. I think I must be one of the only ladies on the site who seldom gets a message |
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"... i get enough mail off here from guys without having the need to trall thro profiles and messaging guys first
Therein lies the reason I DO search. I think I must be one of the only ladies on the site who seldom gets a message " really ! Or im being gullible maybe because you have not meeting at moment, and guys cant be arsed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lol! no really, it's true... you might be right though, maybe it is to do with the timing .... hey, does that mean most guys DO read profiles after all?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Id say prob about half of my meets have been people that Ive messaged first.
Personally Id rather look for what I want than wait to see what Im offered..."
My sentiments exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mailed a guy once, he sent me a nice reply, but turned me down, so have never sent another one since "
I mailed a guy on another site, his reply was "lol, what a whale" havnt made 1st contact since |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We can't, at first...but u need a few kicks and gut punches, if the knock backs don't floor u permenantly, they serve as a lesson 2 tread more carefully and not take things 2 much 4 granted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be totally honest the main reason i dont contact guys is because i work on the theory that if they liked me they would have contacted me and the reson they havnt is because im not their type, so i see no point in mailing them tbf if everyone adopted that attitude then no one would msg anyone. If you like the look of someone whats the worst that could happen"
they could say no lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no problem messaging guys that I like the look of.
Makes me smile the statements of 'I don't need to message', as if all the confident go getting women on the site need to either, I should imagine they have more messages than they can deal with.
The only reason I don't do it more often is that my OH has a demanding job with erratic working hours and I don't like to message without a specific timescale in mind. I am certainly not bothered about being told no or have my message ignored.
I've asked guys in clubs to play too. I've even been in the orgy room at chams lying on my back being licked by a guy, who wasn't doing it to my liking particularly, so I called another guy over to take his place. Be proactive not reactive |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"I try not to contact first as I usually don't get a reply... so I wait. lol."
I'm done waiting... hoping someone makes the first contact (shameless "look a tme!" plug, lol!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yep i have sent messages if a profile really catches my eye .sometimes i get a replie ,sometimes not . the few time i have had replies have been alot of fun !!!!!! mmmmmm!!!!!! "
Me too |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
The only guys I've made first contact with (excuse the Star Trek ref) have been folk who've made me laugh out loud when I've read their posts in the forum - had a couple of brilliant meets as a result. Other than that, haven't bothered as yet... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And 'they' say a lot of single guys can't handle rejection."
An interesting point. Why risk rejection when there's a constant flow of inbound messages. Single men, on the other hand, generally have no choice but to make the first move. God bless em! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mailed a guy once, he sent me a nice reply, but turned me down, so have never sent another one since "
And that one rejection which was well-crafted and tactful put you off? Jesus.
But to answer the OP lots of women message first. Like single guys a lot of the emails I receive are of the "I want you to fuck me" variety, whilst a lot are also well thought out and written which proves that message writing isn't a skill which favours any one gender.... |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"And 'they' say a lot of single guys can't handle rejection.
An interesting point. Why risk rejection when there's a constant flow of inbound messages. Single men, on the other hand, generally have no choice but to make the first move. God bless em! "
Saying that, I was contacted this morning by 2 couples who clearly don't know how to approach soemone - not unless they have one approach for other couples, and their approach for single guys goes with "he should be grateful!". lol |
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I keep saying im going to mail people first, i dont know why i dont. Its not fear of rejection as we all get it at sometime, im convinced it was the way i was brought up. I had it drummed into me never to ask so dont know if thats spilt over or not.
The one time i decided to, i got down the first page of guys and lost interest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I'd never stop messaging poeple that take my fancy though as though you know in advance with inbound messages that the other party is interested, you get to pick and choose those that appeal to you the most.
Plus once your message has been sent there's that lovely thrill of anticipation before they reply.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope.
usually get winks which I send a message too but the sea of other men just puts it down so by the time they get to it its either "cant be bothered" or "got something better".
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