FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Are singles swingers?
Are singles swingers?
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"Having been heavily in the scene for over 12 years and always in a relationship I've always counted everybody we played with as fellow swingers. However this forum and a few comments made at clubs is making me start to believe otherwise. I started with my wife with the aim of us both having sexy fun with others, completely trusting and sharing each other. And whether we played with couples or singles of either sex thought we were playing with swingers. I've always stuck up for the singles of both sexes when other couples accuse them of bit really being swingers. It was a lifestyle choice, not just random sex but the liberation and freedom was intoxicating. However I see regularly posted on here, mainly in the lounge admittedly. That so many singles are waiting to meet their Mr or Mrs right before they leave the scene or they couldn't watch their partner having sex with somebody else, blah blah that I'm beginning to change my mind. I think the definition is quite easy really, if you love the swinging scene, clubs or meets or whatever and you are a couple or a single that would like to carry on once in a relationship then yes you're a swinger. If you are going to stop as soon as you have a partner and become monogamous then you're just in it for easy sex, not a swinger and actually missing out, imo, on a hell of a lot and we will now actively avoid playing with those people. Especially with some of the quite bizarre attitudes and statements I've seen posted on a swingers forum by people who would be better off at brothels or tinder. Not that we dislike them as people, but we don't want to share our swinging lifestyle with them. And I don't think this is restricted to single guys or women. But both. A little revelation that came to me today reading yet more judgemental comments about what single members wouldn't let their partners do once they eventually get them. Although maybe incredibly unlikely for some of them with the crazy attitudes, "True enough. Although i haven't come across that attitude within clubs (probably because i never asked). On fab id say is probably the rule rather than the exception. Goes with the tinder/pof attitude/vibe i guess. | |||
"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. " No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should  but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year | |||
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"Having been heavily in the scene for over 12 years and always in a relationship I've always counted everybody we played with as fellow swingers. However this forum and a few comments made at clubs is making me start to believe otherwise. I started with my wife with the aim of us both having sexy fun with others, completely trusting and sharing each other. And whether we played with couples or singles of either sex thought we were playing with swingers. I've always stuck up for the singles of both sexes when other couples accuse them of bit really being swingers. It was a lifestyle choice, not just random sex but the liberation and freedom was intoxicating. However I see regularly posted on here, mainly in the lounge admittedly. That so many singles are waiting to meet their Mr or Mrs right before they leave the scene or they couldn't watch their partner having sex with somebody else, blah blah that I'm beginning to change my mind. I think the definition is quite easy really, if you love the swinging scene, clubs or meets or whatever and you are a couple or a single that would like to carry on once in a relationship then yes you're a swinger. If you are going to stop as soon as you have a partner and become monogamous then you're just in it for easy sex, not a swinger and actually missing out, imo, on a hell of a lot and we will now actively avoid playing with those people. Especially with some of the quite bizarre attitudes and statements I've seen posted on a swingers forum by people who would be better off at brothels or tinder. Not that we dislike them as people, but we don't want to share our swinging lifestyle with them. And I don't think this is restricted to single guys or women. But both. A little revelation that came to me today reading yet more judgemental comments about what single members wouldn't let their partners do once they eventually get them. Although maybe incredibly unlikely for some of them with the crazy attitudes,
True enough. Although i haven't come across that attitude within clubs (probably because i never asked). On fab id say is probably the rule rather than the exception. Goes with the tinder/pof attitude/vibe i guess. "Not a lot in clubs, but I've heard one single guy say he only went because it was cheaper than a brothel, and another explain he only went as a single because he couldn't allow his wife to go to a place like that both did as well as you'd expect. | |||
"If they think they are, they are. If they think they are not, they are not. Either way you look at it, it’s a meaningless distinction. People are free to label themselves as they choose, and it’s really no-one else’s business." No not really, but fine if you feel like that. I don't and it is my business if we're expected to interact and maybe have sex with them, it's very much my business
If I think I'm rich I'm still not. | |||
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"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year "Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth. And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously. Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn. | |||
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"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn. "You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now. This post seems to have bothered you a bit. | |||
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"If they think they are, they are. If they think they are not, they are not. Either way you look at it, it’s a meaningless distinction. People are free to label themselves as they choose, and it’s really no-one else’s business. No not really, but fine if you feel like that. I don't and it is my business if we're expected to interact and maybe have sex with them, it's very much my business
If I think I'm rich I'm still not. "Except being ‘rich’ is easily measured against commonly accepted norms, and as such can be relatively clearly defined. Being a ‘swinger’, on the other hand, is open to as many different interpretations as people can be bothered to throw at it. Which is why the term is meaningless, other than for those who seek to label themselves or others, for whatever reason. | |||
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"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit. "And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between. Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking. | |||
"Having been heavily in the scene for over 12 years and always in a relationship I've always counted everybody we played with as fellow swingers. However this forum and a few comments made at clubs is making me start to believe otherwise. I started with my wife with the aim of us both having sexy fun with others, completely trusting and sharing each other. And whether we played with couples or singles of either sex thought we were playing with swingers. I've always stuck up for the singles of both sexes when other couples accuse them of bit really being swingers. It was a lifestyle choice, not just random sex but the liberation and freedom was intoxicating. However I see regularly posted on here, mainly in the lounge admittedly. That so many singles are waiting to meet their Mr or Mrs right before they leave the scene or they couldn't watch their partner having sex with somebody else, blah blah that I'm beginning to change my mind. I think the definition is quite easy really, if you love the swinging scene, clubs or meets or whatever and you are a couple or a single that would like to carry on once in a relationship then yes you're a swinger. If you are going to stop as soon as you have a partner and become monogamous then you're just in it for easy sex, not a swinger and actually missing out, imo, on a hell of a lot and we will now actively avoid playing with those people. Especially with some of the quite bizarre attitudes and statements I've seen posted on a swingers forum by people who would be better off at brothels or tinder. Not that we dislike them as people, but we don't want to share our swinging lifestyle with them. And I don't think this is restricted to single guys or women. But both. A little revelation that came to me today reading yet more judgemental comments about what single members wouldn't let their partners do once they eventually get them. Although maybe incredibly unlikely for some of them with the crazy attitudes, "I definitely class myself as a swinger. Single now but have had relationships come from here. Like BrokenBrilliance said ethical non-monogamy. I do believe in emotional monogamy with my partner but enjoy the thought of including others into our sex life. I've never just been here to pass time by till I get in a monogamous relationship, although I do enjoy all sorts of scenarios I do want a swinging relationship. | |||
" And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between. " Not you as well! What is it with people misusing that term on here!? Holier than thou means presumed moral superiority. If I say that mo salah is a footballer and serena Williams is not, that's not being holier than thou, it's just stating a fact based on widely accepted definitions. | |||
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" And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between. " Not you as well! What is it with people misusing that term on here!? Holier than thou means presumed moral superiority. If I say that mo salah is a footballer and serena Williams is not, that's not being holier than thou, it's just stating a fact based on widely accepted definitions. | |||
"I'm single and I consider myself a swinger. I enjoy the club scene and the lifestyle. I contribute to the Swinging Society in as much as I try to help and advise people where and when I can, and befriend newbies I chat too in venues on their first club night. I don't really mind how are other people see me in this topic, but that's how I see myself. " If you had a partner in future, would you seek a relationship where you consentually had sex with other people outside the relationship? | |||
"Great post! When I get into a relationship I intend to their introduce them to the world of swinging or if they are already in it, do it with them. I do think a lot of couples who’ve been together for years would do well with spicing up their sex life swinging, I think it would help a lot of relationships so much. "Couldn't agree more, it's a awesome lifestyle. | |||
"I'm single and I consider myself a swinger. I enjoy the club scene and the lifestyle. I contribute to the Swinging Society in as much as I try to help and advise people where and when I can, and befriend newbies I chat too in venues on their first club night. I don't really mind how are other people see me in this topic, but that's how I see myself. If you had a partner in future, would you seek a relationship where you consentually had sex with other people outside the relationship? " Yes 100% | |||
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"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn. "No I don't intend to debate it. I didn't ask for a debate it was a statement. And if you've blocked me, thanks, don't ever quote me or rwy to me again, you are openly breaking site rules and you are not welcome on this thread. Next response I'm reporting you. | |||
"I'm single and I consider myself a swinger. I enjoy the club scene and the lifestyle. I contribute to the Swinging Society in as much as I try to help and advise people where and when I can, and befriend newbies I chat too in venues on their first club night. I don't really mind how are other people see me in this topic, but that's how I see myself. If you had a partner in future, would you seek a relationship where you consentually had sex with other people outside the relationship? Yes 100%" Then you put the geeer in swinger | |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers." Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. | |||
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"Hi OP, why have you been taking pictures inside chams couples changing room? "Because I wanted to, lol, why shouldn't I. If you knew the club well you'd know that's the place you're allowed to use the phone, assuming nobody else is in it
However if it bothers you for some odd reason I'll message Steve or Zoe or Tammy or Mark and let him know you want the rules changed. What a very strange point to try and make. | |||
"I think we all understand that a single who swings may find a partner who isn't ever going to want to swing, settle down, and that's it. And that's fine. Its the guys and gals that the OP has described showing no respect for the lifestyle. The "No way would i let my wife/husband do this" brigade. Showing a completely controlling attitude towards a partner they haven't even met yet! I don't let my wife have sex with other men, i encourage her to live life to the full. Part of that happens to be swinging. "I give my wife coupons to make sure she doesn't fuck more people than me | |||
"I think we all understand that a single who swings may find a partner who isn't ever going to want to swing, settle down, and that's it. And that's fine. Its the guys and gals that the OP has described showing no respect for the lifestyle. The "No way would i let my wife/husband do this" brigade. Showing a completely controlling attitude towards a partner they haven't even met yet! I don't let my wife have sex with other men, i encourage her to live life to the full. Part of that happens to be swinging. "100% and the point being so deliberately missed by so many on this forum. | |||
"I'm single and I consider myself a swinger. I enjoy the club scene and the lifestyle. I contribute to the Swinging Society in as much as I try to help and advise people where and when I can, and befriend newbies I chat too in venues on their first club night. I don't really mind how are other people see me in this topic, but that's how I see myself. If you had a partner in future, would you seek a relationship where you consentually had sex with other people outside the relationship? Yes 100%" Then you are very clearly as much of a swinger as any couple. It doesn't mean you won't meet somebody and give up to make the relationship work, but your ambition isn't to meet somebody and either hide your past or tell them they can't partake | |||
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"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. " Omg I remember that!! Talk about thrown in at the deep end.
Mrs | |||
"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking. ""If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking. "Aw a snowflake who has a little notes system on how long he’s blocked people. Sweet! Funnily enough I haven’t viewed your profile so wouldn’t have a clue if you had blocked me or not, I couldn’t care less quite frankly so there is absolutely no reason to tell me. But thanks for doing so, I won’t be addressing your posts from here on out as I wouldn’t like to break the rules or upset your sensitive soul anymore than it is! Bless you! | |||
" And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between. Not you as well! What is it with people misusing that term on here!? Holier than thou means presumed moral superiority. If I say that mo salah is a footballer and serena Williams is not, that's not being holier than thou, it's just stating a fact based on widely accepted definitions. " | |||
"See, we all agree. Let's daisy chain..." If I daisy chain with you will I turn into a swinger? | |||
"Hi OP, why have you been taking pictures inside chams couples changing room?
Because I wanted to, lol, why shouldn't I. If you knew the club well you'd know that's the place you're allowed to use the phone, assuming nobody else is in it
However if it bothers you for some odd reason I'll message Steve or Zoe or Tammy or Mark and let him know you want the rules changed. What a very strange point to try and make. "Well I know you can use your phone - the point in question was the use of photography but you obviously know the place well and have a great big fucking chip on your shoulder so I'll shut up now | |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. " How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? | |||
"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking. If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us?
I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs.
Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?".
Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't.
No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships.
I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit.
Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites.
I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking.
Aw a snowflake who has a little notes system on how long he’s blocked people. Sweet!
Funnily enough I haven’t viewed your profile so wouldn’t have a clue if you had blocked me or not, I couldn’t care less quite frankly so there is absolutely no reason to tell me.
But thanks for doing so, I won’t be addressing your posts from here on out as I wouldn’t like to break the rules or upset your sensitive soul anymore than it is!
Bless you! "Isn't it cute
To be fair can't have blocked many people, I don't have enough paper to hold that much info
I do hate it when you delete posts before I get to read them, I bet they were amazing
I think maybe I'm more like some people that annoy me on this forum than I realise
And I'm sure I'd annoy myself given the opportunity. But I genuinely believe my opening statement is 100% simple and clear and swinging vs sex is not hard to define at all.
| |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? " Enjoy the lifestyle, going out as a couple flirting and teasing with each other. Quite simple, swinging isn't just about sticking your cock in everybody, or vice versa, it's about enjoying a liberated lifestyle. Nothing wrong at all with not being one and just fucking every hole or dick you can, but thst doesn't make a swinger. | |||
"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking. If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us?
I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs.
Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?".
Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't.
No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships.
I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit.
Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites.
I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking.
Aw a snowflake who has a little notes system on how long he’s blocked people. Sweet!
Funnily enough I haven’t viewed your profile so wouldn’t have a clue if you had blocked me or not, I couldn’t care less quite frankly so there is absolutely no reason to tell me.
But thanks for doing so, I won’t be addressing your posts from here on out as I wouldn’t like to break the rules or upset your sensitive soul anymore than it is!
Bless you!
Isn't it cute
To be fair can't have blocked many people, I don't have enough paper to hold that much info
I do hate it when you delete posts before I get to read them, I bet they were amazing
I think maybe I'm more like some people that annoy me on this forum than I realise
And I'm sure I'd annoy myself given the opportunity. But I genuinely believe my opening statement is 100% simple and clear and swinging vs sex is not hard to define at all.
"Ha! My posts are duplicates, I’m on holiday with weak WiFi and noticed they posted several times so deleted them quickly lol! I agree your post was very clear, and something I agree with. Far too many on here look at forum posts from any member and see it as a personal attack, that says more about them and their insecurities than it does the forum poster! | |||
"See, we all agree. Let's daisy chain... If I daisy chain with you will I turn into a swinger?" Depends if you would, in principle, allow your future partner to also join the daisy chain? | |||
"Hi OP, why have you been taking pictures inside chams couples changing room?
Because I wanted to, lol, why shouldn't I. If you knew the club well you'd know that's the place you're allowed to use the phone, assuming nobody else is in it
However if it bothers you for some odd reason I'll message Steve or Zoe or Tammy or Mark and let him know you want the rules changed. What a very strange point to try and make.
Well I know you can use your phone - the point in question was the use of photography but you obviously know the place well and have a great big fucking chip on your shoulder so I'll shut up now "So a bit of a silly point then wasn't it. And I'm not the one with a massive big chip on my shoulder, you're the one trying to pick an argument. How dare you start at me and then get all upset and defensive when I bite back, utterly pathetic. Please, please next time you go tell the staff you are reporting Trevor for taking a picture in the couples changing room when the club was closed, but make sure the cameras are on so I can see the reaction. | |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? Enjoy the lifestyle, going out as a couple flirting and teasing with each other. Quite simple, swinging isn't just about sticking your cock in everybody, or vice versa, it's about enjoying a liberated lifestyle. Nothing wrong at all with not being one and just fucking every hole or dick you can, but thst doesn't make a swinger. " That's socialising not swinging. Swinging is swapping partners and being sexually liberated. At best it makes them voyeurs, if they're watching people have sex. You can't sit in a swingers club and call yourself a swinger. | |||
"See, we all agree. Let's daisy chain... If I daisy chain with you will I turn into a swinger? Depends if you would, in principle, allow your future partner to also join the daisy chain? " He would love to, but I don't want to be a swinger so I'll pass. May I watch instead? | |||
| |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? Enjoy the lifestyle, going out as a couple flirting and teasing with each other. Quite simple, swinging isn't just about sticking your cock in everybody, or vice versa, it's about enjoying a liberated lifestyle. Nothing wrong at all with not being one and just fucking every hole or dick you can, but thst doesn't make a swinger. That's socialising not swinging. Swinging is swapping partners and being sexually liberated. At best it makes them voyeurs, if they're watching people have sex. You can't sit in a swingers club and call yourself a swinger. " Yeah my interpretation of Swingers is a traditional 1 being a couple swapping with another couple. | |||
" Ha! My posts are duplicates, I’m on holiday with weak WiFi and noticed they posted several times so deleted them quickly lol! I agree your post was very clear, and something I agree with. Far too many on here look at forum posts from any member and see it as a personal attack, that says more about them and their insecurities than it does the forum poster!" Haha
Sadly on this forum everything is a personal attack unless you agree with everybody, include everybody, even if they've excluded themselves with their own statements and join in the pity party every time somebody posts their woe is me drivel on a swinging site forum however ridiculous and pointless it is.
I've not even told people I disagree with their. Hoices, because as a swinger I'm not at all judgmental about other people's sexual choices if nobody is hurt by them, but just explained what I see as a swinger.
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"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? Enjoy the lifestyle, going out as a couple flirting and teasing with each other. Quite simple, swinging isn't just about sticking your cock in everybody, or vice versa, it's about enjoying a liberated lifestyle. Nothing wrong at all with not being one and just fucking every hole or dick you can, but thst doesn't make a swinger. That's socialising not swinging. Swinging is swapping partners and being sexually liberated. At best it makes them voyeurs, if they're watching people have sex. You can't sit in a swingers club and call yourself a swinger. " While I see your point I still disagree. They are more a swinger than the majority of the forum items who only use it to get sex until they get a partner. They don't judge the people having sex, and plenty of real swingers are soft swap only. I'm giving my interpretation which I think is right and I've lived by, maybe less awarely than now, for a number of years. You of course are under no obligation to agree
I'm not trying to convince anybody actually, just making a statement of my own views. | |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? Enjoy the lifestyle, going out as a couple flirting and teasing with each other. Quite simple, swinging isn't just about sticking your cock in everybody, or vice versa, it's about enjoying a liberated lifestyle. Nothing wrong at all with not being one and just fucking every hole or dick you can, but thst doesn't make a swinger. That's socialising not swinging. Swinging is swapping partners and being sexually liberated. At best it makes them voyeurs, if they're watching people have sex. You can't sit in a swingers club and call yourself a swinger. " I think its a mindset. When we first met, I didn't know what swinging even was and it was a new relationship. First date was in a swingers club. I didn't actually play with anyone else for a year and then only soft play for ages after that. In my opinion, and this is an opinion, it's the fact that even though I didn't have sex with anyone else in that time, I wasn't closed off to it happening. Mrs | |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? Enjoy the lifestyle, going out as a couple flirting and teasing with each other. Quite simple, swinging isn't just about sticking your cock in everybody, or vice versa, it's about enjoying a liberated lifestyle. Nothing wrong at all with not being one and just fucking every hole or dick you can, but thst doesn't make a swinger. That's socialising not swinging. Swinging is swapping partners and being sexually liberated. At best it makes them voyeurs, if they're watching people have sex. You can't sit in a swingers club and call yourself a swinger. While I see your point I still disagree. They are more a swinger than the majority of the forum items who only use it to get sex until they get a partner. They don't judge the people having sex, and plenty of real swingers are soft swap only. I'm giving my interpretation which I think is right and I've lived by, maybe less awarely than now, for a number of years. You of course are under no obligation to agree
I'm not trying to convince anybody actually, just making a statement of my own views. "Ok, so what if I say I'm looking for a man for a relationship and we will go to swingers clubs together but we aren't going to be having sex with anyone else but each other. What's the difference with someone saying they don't want their future partner having sex with anyone else? | |||
"Am I the only one who doesn't give a fuck about who is or isn't fitting the 'swingers' label? I have no clue what I am, just like everyone I am complex and don't fit into a tick box definition. Would I be in a swinging relationship? Maybe yes, maybe no. It all depends on the individual. However, could I give up this side of my sex life for the love of my life? Abso-fucking-lutely. I agree with the poster would said it is about growing the relationship on a one on one to start with. Trust for me is an important element here and that needs to be built first IMO. " I don't give a fuck either and I don't care for a label, even if I wouldn't stop a future partner from having sex with other people. Stick your labels where the sun don't shine
I do see people's point when they get told "There's no way I would let my partner do that". As if it's a bad thing for them to do. | |||
"See, we all agree. Let's daisy chain... If I daisy chain with you will I turn into a swinger? Depends if you would, in principle, allow your future partner to also join the daisy chain? He would love to, but I don't want to be a swinger so I'll pass. May I watch instead? " Only if you click your bean whilst you watch | |||
"Having been heavily in the scene for over 12 years and always in a relationship I've always counted everybody we played with as fellow swingers. However this forum and a few comments made at clubs is making me start to believe otherwise. I started with my wife with the aim of us both having sexy fun with others, completely trusting and sharing each other. And whether we played with couples or singles of either sex thought we were playing with swingers. I've always stuck up for the singles of both sexes when other couples accuse them of bit really being swingers. It was a lifestyle choice, not just random sex but the liberation and freedom was intoxicating. However I see regularly posted on here, mainly in the lounge admittedly. That so many singles are waiting to meet their Mr or Mrs right before they leave the scene or they couldn't watch their partner having sex with somebody else, blah blah that I'm beginning to change my mind. I think the definition is quite easy really, if you love the swinging scene, clubs or meets or whatever and you are a couple or a single that would like to carry on once in a relationship then yes you're a swinger. If you are going to stop as soon as you have a partner and become monogamous then you're just in it for easy sex, not a swinger and actually missing out, imo, on a hell of a lot and we will now actively avoid playing with those people. Especially with some of the quite bizarre attitudes and statements I've seen posted on a swingers forum by people who would be better off at brothels or tinder. Not that we dislike them as people, but we don't want to share our swinging lifestyle with them. And I don't think this is restricted to single guys or women. But both. A little revelation that came to me today reading yet more judgemental comments about what single members wouldn't let their partners do once they eventually get them. Although maybe incredibly unlikely for some of them with the crazy attitudes, "This so much this, the forums have garnered me the same revelation and we too played with singles presuming the same. It saddens me but we have now stopped looking for singles as i can't be bothered to try and figure out where everyone stands.  | |||
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but yeah I consider singles like myself swingers! | |||
"Why not live in the moment? Right now they are enjoying the swinging lifestyle. If things change for them in the future why does that have to affect the here and now? As long as they respect your relationship and understand swinging they are not judging your choices so why judge theirs? " You basically just repeated the great debate between the philosophers CM punk and Jeff Hardy that happened in 2009 | |||
"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. " I appreciate, understand and agree with much of what you are saying in the above post. Even if I met my future partner through a swingers club or via here, having met for casual sex, as a fwb so to say. I would want us to step back from sex with other people to build up our new relationship as long term partners. Then at a later date we would return to swingers clubs ect as a committed couple. | |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? Enjoy the lifestyle, going out as a couple flirting and teasing with each other. Quite simple, swinging isn't just about sticking your cock in everybody, or vice versa, it's about enjoying a liberated lifestyle. Nothing wrong at all with not being one and just fucking every hole or dick you can, but thst doesn't make a swinger. That's socialising not swinging. Swinging is swapping partners and being sexually liberated. At best it makes them voyeurs, if they're watching people have sex. You can't sit in a swingers club and call yourself a swinger. While I see your point I still disagree. They are more a swinger than the majority of the forum items who only use it to get sex until they get a partner. They don't judge the people having sex, and plenty of real swingers are soft swap only. I'm giving my interpretation which I think is right and I've lived by, maybe less awarely than now, for a number of years. You of course are under no obligation to agree
I'm not trying to convince anybody actually, just making a statement of my own views.
Ok, so what if I say I'm looking for a man for a relationship and we will go to swingers clubs together but we aren't going to be having sex with anyone else but each other. What's the difference with someone saying they don't want their future partner having sex with anyone else? "Because your mind is closed to the possibility, I guess that's how I feel anyway. | |||
"Why not live in the moment? Right now they are enjoying the swinging lifestyle. If things change for them in the future why does that have to affect the here and now? As long as they respect your relationship and understand swinging they are not judging your choices so why judge theirs? " But from the very many posts on this forum they dont understand it at all other than as easy access to sex, zero comprehension, that really is my whole point! | |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? Enjoy the lifestyle, going out as a couple flirting and teasing with each other. Quite simple, swinging isn't just about sticking your cock in everybody, or vice versa, it's about enjoying a liberated lifestyle. Nothing wrong at all with not being one and just fucking every hole or dick you can, but thst doesn't make a swinger. That's socialising not swinging. Swinging is swapping partners and being sexually liberated. At best it makes them voyeurs, if they're watching people have sex. You can't sit in a swingers club and call yourself a swinger. While I see your point I still disagree. They are more a swinger than the majority of the forum items who only use it to get sex until they get a partner. They don't judge the people having sex, and plenty of real swingers are soft swap only. I'm giving my interpretation which I think is right and I've lived by, maybe less awarely than now, for a number of years. You of course are under no obligation to agree
I'm not trying to convince anybody actually, just making a statement of my own views.
Ok, so what if I say I'm looking for a man for a relationship and we will go to swingers clubs together but we aren't going to be having sex with anyone else but each other. What's the difference with someone saying they don't want their future partner having sex with anyone else?
Because your mind is closed to the possibility, I guess that's how I feel anyway. "So are the people just going to swingers clubs to flirt and socialise, and not have sex. | |||
"I've read of couples who will only allow the woman to meet other women. Couples where only the woman meets other men. They still consider themselves swingers. Yes but they don't hide it from them or look for a new partner thst. Want to be monogamous with. There are swingers who don't swap at all, but still love the lifestyle. But they aren't aiming to run away from it either. How can they be swingers if they don't have sex with other people? Enjoy the lifestyle, going out as a couple flirting and teasing with each other. Quite simple, swinging isn't just about sticking your cock in everybody, or vice versa, it's about enjoying a liberated lifestyle. Nothing wrong at all with not being one and just fucking every hole or dick you can, but thst doesn't make a swinger. That's socialising not swinging. Swinging is swapping partners and being sexually liberated. At best it makes them voyeurs, if they're watching people have sex. You can't sit in a swingers club and call yourself a swinger. While I see your point I still disagree. They are more a swinger than the majority of the forum items who only use it to get sex until they get a partner. They don't judge the people having sex, and plenty of real swingers are soft swap only. I'm giving my interpretation which I think is right and I've lived by, maybe less awarely than now, for a number of years. You of course are under no obligation to agree
I'm not trying to convince anybody actually, just making a statement of my own views.
Ok, so what if I say I'm looking for a man for a relationship and we will go to swingers clubs together but we aren't going to be having sex with anyone else but each other. What's the difference with someone saying they don't want their future partner having sex with anyone else?
Because your mind is closed to the possibility, I guess that's how I feel anyway.
So are the people just going to swingers clubs to flirt and socialise, and not have sex. "Not the ones I've talked to, they are just waiting until it feels right. Of course I'm sure some are, but then not everybody in a club is a swinger either. | |||
"Im single and have been on the scene for about 8 yrs and in all that time i have never classed myself as a swinger, and I am not looking for someone to start a swinging relationship with either ..I'm just here for the sex "good girl x x | |||
"Great post! When I get into a relationship I intend to their introduce them to the world of swinging or if they are already in it, do it with them. I do think a lot of couples who’ve been together for years would do well with spicing up their sex life swinging, I think it would help a lot of relationships so much. Ummm perfect I’m looking for a companion to meet in here and share this lifestyle together X x " | |||
"Having been heavily in the scene for over 12 years and always in a relationship I've always counted everybody we played with as fellow swingers. However this forum and a few comments made at clubs is making me start to believe otherwise. I started with my wife with the aim of us both having sexy fun with others, completely trusting and sharing each other. And whether we played with couples or singles of either sex thought we were playing with swingers. I've always stuck up for the singles of both sexes when other couples accuse them of bit really being swingers. It was a lifestyle choice, not just random sex but the liberation and freedom was intoxicating. However I see regularly posted on here, mainly in the lounge admittedly. That so many singles are waiting to meet their Mr or Mrs right before they leave the scene or they couldn't watch their partner having sex with somebody else, blah blah that I'm beginning to change my mind. I think the definition is quite easy really, if you love the swinging scene, clubs or meets or whatever and you are a couple or a single that would like to carry on once in a relationship then yes you're a swinger. If you are going to stop as soon as you have a partner and become monogamous then you're just in it for easy sex, not a swinger and actually missing out, imo, on a hell of a lot and we will now actively avoid playing with those people. Especially with some of the quite bizarre attitudes and statements I've seen posted on a swingers forum by people who would be better off at brothels or tinder. Not that we dislike them as people, but we don't want to share our swinging lifestyle with them. And I don't think this is restricted to single guys or women. But both. A little revelation that came to me today reading yet more judgemental comments about what single members wouldn't let their partners do once they eventually get them. Although maybe incredibly unlikely for some of them with the crazy attitudes,
I definitely class myself as a swinger. Single now but have had relationships come from here. Like BrokenBrilliance said ethical non-monogamy.
I do believe in emotional monogamy with my partner but enjoy the thought of including others into our sex life.
I've never just been here to pass time by till I get in a monogamous relationship, although I do enjoy all sorts of scenarios I do want a swinging relationship."I be hearing ya me too X x | |||
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"There doesn’t seem to be any recognition in this rather testy thread that swinging may be something that an individual can enjoy whole heartedly at one point in their life but be willing to put aside at another. There could be all sorts of reasons for leaving ‘the lifestyle’: a new partner and a developing relationship; a partner that has no interest in swinging; young kids; troublesome kids; illness; career; just...life. None of that means that the person changes their views on swinging and non-monogamous sex or ethical non-monogamy. " I was just about to make this point,but taken the last 15 minutes catching all sides of the label argument, picture queries etc. Though in fairness to the op he wasn't talking about people who put aside swinging if they meet a partner who is not interested in that lifestyle or need to put it on hold for personal reasons . He was pointing out that there are singles that have no intention of letting future partners 'swing' but are happy to engage as a single. All comes down to your view or definition of swinging - is a swinger at heart someone who is happy to share their partner with either selected playmates or a person who has sex with other couples regardless of their views or prohibitions placed on current or future partners? | |||
"There doesn’t seem to be any recognition in this rather testy thread that swinging may be something that an individual can enjoy whole heartedly at one point in their life but be willing to put aside at another. There could be all sorts of reasons for leaving ‘the lifestyle’: a new partner and a developing relationship; a partner that has no interest in swinging; young kids; troublesome kids; illness; career; just...life. None of that means that the person changes their views on swinging and non-monogamous sex or ethical non-monogamy. " But wouldn't they just be an inactive swinger? There's no fucking quota you have to fill each year to retain your status | |||
"There doesn’t seem to be any recognition in this rather testy thread that swinging may be something that an individual can enjoy whole heartedly at one point in their life but be willing to put aside at another. There could be all sorts of reasons for leaving ‘the lifestyle’: a new partner and a developing relationship; a partner that has no interest in swinging; young kids; troublesome kids; illness; career; just...life. None of that means that the person changes their views on swinging and non-monogamous sex or ethical non-monogamy. But wouldn't they just be an inactive swinger? There's no fucking quota you have to fill each year to retain your status "It's a shame though, maybe this should be introduced? . December visits to clubs etc would go nuts, everyone trying to cram in their quota | |||
"Am I the only one who doesn't give a fuck about who is or isn't fitting the 'swingers' label? I have no clue what I am, just like everyone I am complex and don't fit into a tick box definition. Would I be in a swinging relationship? Maybe yes, maybe no. It all depends on the individual. However, could I give up this side of my sex life for the love of my life? Abso-fucking-lutely. I agree with the poster would said it is about growing the relationship on a one on one to start with. Trust for me is an important element here and that needs to be built first IMO. " Who cares anyway...so bloody serious...it’s supposed to be fun. | |||
"I think we all understand that a single who swings may find a partner who isn't ever going to want to swing, settle down, and that's it. And that's fine. Its the guys and gals that the OP has described showing no respect for the lifestyle. The "No way would i let my wife/husband do this" brigade. Showing a completely controlling attitude towards a partner they haven't even met yet! I don't let my wife have sex with other men, i encourage her to live life to the full. Part of that happens to be swinging. "That's all reasonable. | |||
"There doesn’t seem to be any recognition in this rather testy thread that swinging may be something that an individual can enjoy whole heartedly at one point in their life but be willing to put aside at another. There could be all sorts of reasons for leaving ‘the lifestyle’: a new partner and a developing relationship; a partner that has no interest in swinging; young kids; troublesome kids; illness; career; just...life. None of that means that the person changes their views on swinging and non-monogamous sex or ethical non-monogamy. But wouldn't they just be an inactive swinger? There's no fucking quota you have to fill each year to retain your status "There's so many conflicting statements on this thread. Swingers don't have to fuck anyone else they can just watch. But people fucking around aren't swingers. I'm a swinger then. | |||
"Amen to that. Haters are gonna hate but who cares lol. Ed" PREACH!!!  | |||
"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. I appreciate, understand and agree with much of what you are saying in the above post. Even if I met my future partner through a swingers club or via here, having met for casual sex, as a fwb so to say. I would want us to step back from sex with other people to build up our new relationship as long term partners. Then at a later date we would return to swingers clubs ect as a committed couple." Good Post. I've met people in here, carried on swinging with no 1-1 time first. It's ended badly. If I do meet someone else from here, yes I do want to continue swinging, but have a break first to establish a relationship. Fab is actually a perfect place for me to find someone more permanent as (hopefully) they will have the same values as me. If they didn't want to continue swinging then I probably wouldn't want to have them as a long term partner. | |||
"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn. "He was quite clear in his OP that it was referring to single men and women. You don't need to try and make this a single man bashing thread, there are plenty of those without creating them out of nothing. | |||
" And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between. Not you as well! What is it with people misusing that term on here!? Holier than thou means presumed moral superiority. If I say that mo salah is a footballer and serena Williams is not, that's not being holier than thou, it's just stating a fact based on widely accepted definitions. " People use that phrase as an alternative to 'your shit don't stink all the time, everywhere. Not just on here. Serena may not be a footballer but she is a sports person, some may view football as a more superior sport than tennis and so view mo as superior to her. That's the analogy bring played out here. I couldn't give a flying one if you think singles are swingers or not. If you want to fuck them you will fuck them regardless of their motives when they eventually get into a relationship. I understand the 'bedding in' period for a new relationship. Especially one formed on here. You want to be sure what you have is real and not just a trick to meet more people (it happens). | |||
"There doesn’t seem to be any recognition in this rather testy thread that swinging may be something that an individual can enjoy whole heartedly at one point in their life but be willing to put aside at another. There could be all sorts of reasons for leaving ‘the lifestyle’: a new partner and a developing relationship; a partner that has no interest in swinging; young kids; troublesome kids; illness; career; just...life. None of that means that the person changes their views on swinging and non-monogamous sex or ethical non-monogamy. I was just about to make this point,but taken the last 15 minutes catching all sides of the label argument, picture queries etc. Though in fairness to the op he wasn't talking about people who put aside swinging if they meet a partner who is not interested in that lifestyle or need to put it on hold for personal reasons . He was pointing out that there are singles that have no intention of letting future partners 'swing' but are happy to engage as a single. All comes down to your view or definition of swinging - is a swinger at heart someone who is happy to share their partner with either selected playmates or a person who has sex with other couples regardless of their views or prohibitions placed on current or future partners? "For those trying to take offence, this is exactly the point I made, and very clearly in a way that your attempt to twist it are quite sad. If you partake while you're single but actually have disdain for those that share their partners then you aren't a swinger, and there are 100s of those on this forum alone. | |||
"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking. "Haha, brilliant. No comeback to this. | |||
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"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking.
Haha, brilliant. No comeback to this."Except that's not the rules.....you can comment and quote someone you've blocked as long as you don't ask why they've blocked you etc. | |||
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"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking.
Haha, brilliant. No comeback to this.
Except that's not the rules.....you can comment and quote someone you've blocked as long as you don't ask why they've blocked you etc. "Hey, what am I, admin?! No comeback ! | |||
"We receive messages from guys saying if Flik was their partner they would never allow her to swing and wouldn't even like her going out without them. I try to explain that it wouldn't be their choice as swinging, at least for us, is a joint decision but they struggle to understand this." I really wouldn't bother trying to explain to people like that. They won't understand. However they may just be trying to be complimentary. But have no idea. | |||
"If I get into a new relationship surely you must expect that me and my partner would want some monogamy time together first to build up our bond and trust, before even bringing up the issue of inviting someone else or a couple into the bedroom to have fun with both of us? I don't think it's anything less than a generally accepted thing that relationships and trust takes time to build, and is primarily something that has to be done with minimal interference from outside people until such time when things are strong and stable enough to handle external participation in bedroom affairs. Furthermore, in my own personal case, if I got attached I wouldn't want to have my new relationship immediately start within the auspices of swinging as a common activity between me and my new partner. That being said, if in future once we've been together long enough my partner expresses wishes to me or fantasies about group sex or swinging, I wouldn't be averse to it if I felt that our relationship was strong and stable enough to handle the swinging dynamic, and yes I'd do it. If I were a man newly into a relationship and I expected my partner to immediately jump into swinging with me still, how much respect do you think that shows from me to my new partner when I'm saying "oh I want a relationship with you, with the status of boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife between us, but no I still want us to sleep with other people at the same time, so let's just swing right off the bat shall we?". Try thinking from such a perspective. Singles saying they wouldn't swing if they got attached aren't necessarily all selfish or hypocritical. Some of us just want to do things the right way. And hey, if you don't want to play with singles who think like that, there's the block and exclusion button for all singles. I expect you to use it equally against both single men AND women. Would you do it? Something tells me you won't. No I don't have to accept you want to do that. If thats how you feel then you haven't accepted what swinging is, it doesn't harm relationships. I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to be mOnogamous with her, but you aren't a swinger if that's how you feel. My first 'date' with my new wife was at chameleons and her first ever visit. Quite why you felt the need to get the snide little poor single guy me jibe in the end about blocking single women I don't really know seems to be the way of all the self pity forumites. I guess you'll just have to accept thst we will block who we want to, not who you tell me I should but I do apply this thought process equally to all sees, including all the new ones announced this year
Self-pity single male forumites? I see now, you've no interest in discussing or debating anything on here, just announcing your prejudices, slinging ad-hominem name-calling stuff, and your views out here like it's your loudspeaker. Don't worry, you won't get the pleasure to block me, because I already did that three weeks ago on some other thread whereby your comments left a poor taste in my mouth.
And come now, you don't need to be so snide and self-righteous in your reply. I must have got under your skin. Or did I? Only you know. Till I see that your verifications are entirely missing single female ones, which last I checked you had several, I won't take your words seriously.
Feel free to accord me the same disdain. Like I give a damn.
You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now.
This post seems to have bothered you a bit.
And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between.
Also, you've been on my block list for three weeks as well. Suggest you stop addressing your forum posts on here to me as well, because you're violating the very rule you're accusing me of breaking.
Haha, brilliant. No comeback to this."I think maybe you missed her quite superb comeback | |||
"There doesn’t seem to be any recognition in this rather testy thread that swinging may be something that an individual can enjoy whole heartedly at one point in their life but be willing to put aside at another. There could be all sorts of reasons for leaving ‘the lifestyle’: a new partner and a developing relationship; a partner that has no interest in swinging; young kids; troublesome kids; illness; career; just...life. None of that means that the person changes their views on swinging and non-monogamous sex or ethical non-monogamy. But wouldn't they just be an inactive swinger? There's no fucking quota you have to fill each year to retain your status
There's so many conflicting statements on this thread. Swingers don't have to fuck anyone else they can just watch. But people fucking around aren't swingers.
I'm a swinger then. "I've sat with swingers and flirted with them, that makes me a swinger. | |||
"I'm single and I consider myself a swinger. I enjoy the club scene and the lifestyle. I contribute to the Swinging Society in as much as I try to help and advise people where and when I can, and befriend newbies I chat too in venues on their first club night. I don't really mind how are other people see me in this topic, but that's how I see myself. " Great legs x x | |||
"I'm single and I consider myself a swinger. I enjoy the club scene and the lifestyle. I contribute to the Swinging Society in as much as I try to help and advise people where and when I can, and befriend newbies I chat too in venues on their first club night. I don't really mind how are other people see me in this topic, but that's how I see myself. If you had a partner in future, would you seek a relationship where you consentually had sex with other people outside the relationship? Yes 100%" I’m up for that x x | |||
"Im single and have been on the scene for about 8 yrs and in all that time i have never classed myself as a swinger, and I am not looking for someone to start a swinging relationship with either ..I'm just here for the sex "This for me too. I'm not looking for any sort of relationship - I don't really care how others choose to define me either. I'm here to meet like minded people I want to fuck. | |||
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"As I am currently single I do not really consider myself a swinger. Its more a case of having casual sex with multiple people and possibly at the same time. I consider myself a potential future swinger since I am looking for a long term relationship with a man but I want us to still have sex with other people. Together, not as individuals though. I don't think playing separately would be for me. Its something we would do together as part of our sex life. Well that's the plan anyway. Now I just have to find the right man......which is the difficult bit!" Yes exactly what I’m looking for too X x | |||
"Great post! When I get into a relationship I intend to their introduce them to the world of swinging or if they are already in it, do it with them. I do think a lot of couples who’ve been together for years would do well with spicing up their sex life swinging, I think it would help a lot of relationships so much. "This is possibly an argument why singles are not swinger's! Your rationale is completely flawed. Couples can only be successful in swinging if they are already in a strong relationship with a good sex life. Swinging is NOT a solution to save a relationship! | |||
"Dunno what one is but im not" What made you decide to become a member of Fabswingers? | |||
" And why wouldn't it? This post is the classic example of the holier-than-thou exclusionary attitude that couple swingers hold on here almost exclusively against single men, rarely directed against single women or anything else in between. Not you as well! What is it with people misusing that term on here!? Holier than thou means presumed moral superiority. If I say that mo salah is a footballer and serena Williams is not, that's not being holier than thou, it's just stating a fact based on widely accepted definitions. People use that phrase as an alternative to 'your shit don't stink all the time, everywhere. Not just on here. Serena may not be a footballer but she is a sports person, some may view football as a more superior sport than tennis and so view mo as superior to her. That's the analogy bring played out here. " Are you a post modernist? | |||
" You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now. " This is not true... but if what you said was true then you are missing out that the people he has blocked ( you and another poster )answered him first. To clarify the blocking rule again...anyone can answer anyone else's posts. Mods wouldn't know who was blocked from each other and most people wouldn't know they were blocked from someone on the forum if they don't click on their profiles. What you can't do is ask a person to unblock you/ ask why you are blocked/ ask them to drop their filters etc. | |||
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"To the OP... I wouldn't call singles who look to meet other singles on a swinging site swingers.Swinging for me is group sex, normally with couples swopping. The attitude you describe in clubs is more widespread than people think from our experience and we have turned down men in the past because of attitudes like that. However, I don't think everyone can watch their OH have sex with someone else an I wouldn't say they have to just because they were on a swinging site looking for sex. If a man had the attitude of liking group sex and is respectful of the wives he is playing with and would love to be able to watch a future wife do it but don't think he could then I don't think that is a problem." Agreed completely. It is the lack of respect for the relationship and the disdain for the couple sharing that is coming across so much at the moment. A point deliberately missed by a large number of posters on this thread. | |||
"I don't know why folk get their underwear in a twist over things like this" . | |||
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"Dunno what one is but im not What made you decide to become a member of Fabswingers? " For me I was with a trusted fwb. We joined up as a couple, he left, I stayed. I'd love to have a proper relationship and someone to swing with. | |||
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"Dunno what one is but im not What made you decide to become a member of Fabswingers? " Originally to get laid then went unlos after getting it Then came back to fuck about on the forum to pass boring days ended up getting laid anyway Happy bonus | |||
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"One question. Why the underlying assumption that people actually care about how anyone defines them? " I don't see anyone making that assumption. The definition of words exists whether or not people care about it. | |||
"To the OP... I wouldn't call singles who look to meet other singles on a swinging site swingers.Swinging for me is group sex, normally with couples swopping. The attitude you describe in clubs is more widespread than people think from our experience and we have turned down men in the past because of attitudes like that. However, I don't think everyone can watch their OH have sex with someone else an I wouldn't say they have to just because they were on a swinging site looking for sex. If a man had the attitude of liking group sex and is respectful of the wives he is playing with and would love to be able to watch a future wife do it but don't think he could then I don't think that is a problem. Agreed completely. It is the lack of respect for the relationship and the disdain for the couple sharing that is coming across so much at the moment. A point deliberately missed by a large number of posters on this thread. " I completely agree | |||
"Im single and have been on the scene for about 8 yrs and in all that time i have never classed myself as a swinger, and I am not looking for someone to start a swinging relationship with either ..I'm just here for the sex "I was exactly the same out of a long term relationship and with at the time 2 young boy.I found the selfishness of it suited me and stil does as you can opt in or out without offending anyone That said I ended up embracing the lifestyle when it suited and would class myself now as a swinger | |||
"Great post! When I get into a relationship I intend to their introduce them to the world of swinging or if they are already in it, do it with them. I do think a lot of couples who’ve been together for years would do well with spicing up their sex life swinging, I think it would help a lot of relationships so much.
This is possibly an argument why singles are not swinger's! Your rationale is completely flawed. Couples can only be successful in swinging if they are already in a strong relationship with a good sex life. Swinging is NOT a solution to save a relationship!"Thanks for your post. I never said swinging was a solution to save a relationship so I suggest you read my post again, as I’d love to see where I used those words? To elaborate there are a lot of relationships that have gone stale sexually, but are perfect in other ways and spicing up a sex life whether it be using toys, going to clubs or trying swinging could really help some people in regards to their sex life. Some on here have mentioned they have great relationships with their other hald, and the only issue is the lack of sex, if their partners were open minded to things such as swinging it could help, although I don’t condone cheating, and think communication is a huge issues for many couples, I know it helped two of my friends in their early 30s, who got into swinging and clubs so it’s not exactly stupid to think communication and exploring with your partner could improve a sex life, NOT save a relationship. Probably best for you not to make wild assumptions from someone’s posts. Hope that clarifies. | |||
" You’re not supposed to be using the forum to contact people on your block list or people who have blocked you, so probably best you stop now. This is not true... but if what you said was true then you are missing out that the people he has blocked ( you and another poster )answered him first. To clarify the blocking rule again...anyone can answer anyone else's posts. Mods wouldn't know who was blocked from each other and most people wouldn't know they were blocked from someone on the forum if they don't click on their profiles. What you can't do is ask a person to unblock you/ ask why you are blocked/ ask them to drop their filters etc." Strange. When I contacted someone who I didn’t know had blocked me via the forums until after they posted, I was told the forums should not be used to contact people who have blocked you, or you’ve blocked. Seems the “mod” who told me that has got the rules wrong then. | |||
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"Great post! When I get into a relationship I intend to their introduce them to the world of swinging or if they are already in it, do it with them. I do think a lot of couples who’ve been together for years would do well with spicing up their sex life swinging, I think it would help a lot of relationships so much.
This is possibly an argument why singles are not swinger's! Your rationale is completely flawed. Couples can only be successful in swinging if they are already in a strong relationship with a good sex life. Swinging is NOT a solution to save a relationship!
Thanks for your post.
I never said swinging was a solution to save a relationship so I suggest you read my post again, as I’d love to see where I used those words?
To elaborate there are a lot of relationships that have gone stale sexually, but are perfect in other ways and spicing up a sex life whether it be using toys, going to clubs or trying swinging could really help some people in regards to their sex life.
Some on here have mentioned they have great relationships with their other hald, and the only issue is the lack of sex, if their partners were open minded to things such as swinging it could help, although I don’t condone cheating, and think communication is a huge issues for many couples, I know it helped two of my friends in their early 30s, who got into swinging and clubs so it’s not exactly stupid to think communication and exploring with your partner could improve a sex life, NOT save a relationship.
Probably best for you not to make wild assumptions from someone’s posts.
Hope that clarifies.
"* half (I know how you like to correct typos) | |||
"Great post! When I get into a relationship I intend to their introduce them to the world of swinging or if they are already in it, do it with them. I do think a lot of couples who’ve been together for years would do well with spicing up their sex life swinging, I think it would help a lot of relationships so much.
This is possibly an argument why singles are not swinger's! Your rationale is completely flawed. Couples can only be successful in swinging if they are already in a strong relationship with a good sex life. Swinging is NOT a solution to save a relationship!
Thanks for your post.
I never said swinging was a solution to save a relationship so I suggest you read my post again, as I’d love to see where I used those words?
To elaborate there are a lot of relationships that have gone stale sexually, but are perfect in other ways and spicing up a sex life whether it be using toys, going to clubs or trying swinging could really help some people in regards to their sex life.
Some on here have mentioned they have great relationships with their other hald, and the only issue is the lack of sex, if their partners were open minded to things such as swinging it could help, although I don’t condone cheating, and think communication is a huge issues for many couples, I know it helped two of my friends in their early 30s, who got into swinging and clubs so it’s not exactly stupid to think communication and exploring with your partner could improve a sex life, NOT save a relationship.
Probably best for you not to make wild assumptions from someone’s posts.
Hope that clarifies.
* half
(I know how you like to correct typos) "Thank you! My little helper. | |||
"Or you misunderstood what they said/ or the way you worded your post at the time broke forum rules" Or they got it wrong. The post was pretty clear. | |||
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"Having been heavily in the scene for over 12 years and always in a relationship I've always counted everybody we played with as fellow swingers. However this forum and a few comments made at clubs is making me start to believe otherwise. I started with my wife with the aim of us both having sexy fun with others, completely trusting and sharing each other. And whether we played with couples or singles of either sex thought we were playing with swingers. I've always stuck up for the singles of both sexes when other couples accuse them of bit really being swingers. It was a lifestyle choice, not just random sex but the liberation and freedom was intoxicating. However I see regularly posted on here, mainly in the lounge admittedly. That so many singles are waiting to meet their Mr or Mrs right before they leave the scene or they couldn't watch their partner having sex with somebody else, blah blah that I'm beginning to change my mind. I think the definition is quite easy really, if you love the swinging scene, clubs or meets or whatever and you are a couple or a single that would like to carry on once in a relationship then yes you're a swinger. If you are going to stop as soon as you have a partner and become monogamous then you're just in it for easy sex, not a swinger and actually missing out, imo, on a hell of a lot and we will now actively avoid playing with those people. Especially with some of the quite bizarre attitudes and statements I've seen posted on a swingers forum by people who would be better off at brothels or tinder. Not that we dislike them as people, but we don't want to share our swinging lifestyle with them. And I don't think this is restricted to single guys or women. But both. A little revelation that came to me today reading yet more judgemental comments about what single members wouldn't let their partners do once they eventually get them. Although maybe incredibly unlikely for some of them with the crazy attitudes, "Love this | |||
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"Having been heavily in the scene for over 12 years and always in a relationship I've always counted everybody we played with as fellow swingers. However this forum and a few comments made at clubs is making me start to believe otherwise. I started with my wife with the aim of us both having sexy fun with others, completely trusting and sharing each other. And whether we played with couples or singles of either sex thought we were playing with swingers. I've always stuck up for the singles of both sexes when other couples accuse them of bit really being swingers. It was a lifestyle choice, not just random sex but the liberation and freedom was intoxicating. However I see regularly posted on here, mainly in the lounge admittedly. That so many singles are waiting to meet their Mr or Mrs right before they leave the scene or they couldn't watch their partner having sex with somebody else, blah blah that I'm beginning to change my mind. I think the definition is quite easy really, if you love the swinging scene, clubs or meets or whatever and you are a couple or a single that would like to carry on once in a relationship then yes you're a swinger. If you are going to stop as soon as you have a partner and become monogamous then you're just in it for easy sex, not a swinger and actually missing out, imo, on a hell of a lot and we will now actively avoid playing with those people. Especially with some of the quite bizarre attitudes and statements I've seen posted on a swingers forum by people who would be better off at brothels or tinder. Not that we dislike them as people, but we don't want to share our swinging lifestyle with them. And I don't think this is restricted to single guys or women. But both. A little revelation that came to me today reading yet more judgemental comments about what single members wouldn't let their partners do once they eventually get them. Although maybe incredibly unlikely for some of them with the crazy attitudes, "Personally op I really can't understand the whole singles thing on here. One single arranging a sexual encounter with another single no club's, parties or others involved is in my humble opinion is not swinging. However I guess that it's the whole " swinger's by association" thing by meeting from here it adds a naughty twist to the encounter that would probably not be present on tinder for example. But this also goes for people couples included who are involved in the scene socially but don't play "swinger's by association" adds a naughty twist to thing's and gives people the opportunity to talk to like minded people openly. But singles meeting singles only in Lue of finding a partner really isn't swinging it's just dating but cutting out alot of the bullshit that goes along with it and jumping straight to the sex part. Dangerous ground if you ask me basing a relationship on sex before actually getting to know someone. I'm not going to lose any sleep over it all,an interesting talking point tho. | |||
"I have been on the scene since I was 20 and since then, anyone I meet in the 'vanilla' world and feel a connection with, I let them kno that I am bi and I swing and go to swinging clubs. Its upto them to accept it or not. If accepted, then do it together, if they dont then I say bye. It is part of who I am and what I am about. I have been asked many times if I would ever giv it up.. My answer.. If I was in a relationship, content and getting enough to fulfil my sex drive, then maybe yes but not completely. I would like to go a club now and again or bring in a MF Couple of Bi-Fem in to join. I am greedy yes but its being honest and truthful to all. There is no reason to cheat on anybody as both given a 'free pass' so to speak when swinging together. I wouldnt like my partner to meet behind my back so works both ways...tag team is more fun xx"Hope I get to meet someone like you very soon x x | |||
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"Let's flip this around... What about couples that want to meet with a single male or single female? It seems quite hypocritical for couples to take advantage of singles when you want them for sex then complain about their presence in the scene and berate them just because they may not have the same relationship goals as yourself. Have you considered that there are many singles who would not agree to be a third wheel in a couple's bed or relationship which means that those who are willing obviously have a different set of values which allows them to be with a couple even if it's only for the encounter. Surely they are a swinger or at the very least swing-friendly. " Absolutely agree. I also agree that singles meeting singles aren’t swingers, and most of us don’t call ourselves that anyway. It seems some couples actually have more of an issue with it than us singles who don’t care for the “swingers” label. If this site was to become a “strictly swinger only” site a hefty amount of singles like myself wouldn’t be here and couples who are looking for singles would find it very hard if not harder to get meets, unless they’re only seeking couples that is. | |||
"Let's flip this around... What about couples that want to meet with a single male or single female? It seems quite hypocritical for couples to take advantage of singles when you want them for sex then complain about their presence in the scene and berate them just because they may not have the same relationship goals as yourself. Have you considered that there are many singles who would not agree to be a third wheel in a couple's bed or relationship which means that those who are willing obviously have a different set of values which allows them to be with a couple even if it's only for the encounter. Surely they are a swinger or at the very least swing-friendly. " Of course you are right. It certainly does cut both ways. As others have said we don't really see singles seeking singles for a relationship as swingers. Whether on here or not. We also don't see married or attached guys (and sometimes women) who are just looking for extra marital sex as swingers either. That is deceitful and we would want no part of it. To be fair we nearly always meet in clubs these days so we can never be sure, but on the odd occasion that we do meet privately a married or attached guy just looking for a quick shag would always get the red card. However genuine singles who embrace the lifestyle and take it for what it is are more than welcome. | |||
"Let's flip this around... What about couples that want to meet with a single male or single female? It seems quite hypocritical for couples to take advantage of singles when you want them for sex then complain about their presence in the scene and berate them just because they may not have the same relationship goals as yourself. Have you considered that there are many singles who would not agree to be a third wheel in a couple's bed or relationship which means that those who are willing obviously have a different set of values which allows them to be with a couple even if it's only for the encounter. Surely they are a swinger or at the very least swing-friendly. Of course you are right. It certainly does cut both ways. As others have said we don't really see singles seeking singles for a relationship as swingers. Whether on here or not. We also don't see married or attached guys (and sometimes women) who are just looking for extra marital sex as swingers either. That is deceitful and we would want no part of it. To be fair we nearly always meet in clubs these days so we can never be sure, but on the odd occasion that we do meet privately a married or attached guy just looking for a quick shag would always get the red card. However genuine singles who embrace the lifestyle and take it for what it is are more than welcome." Thanks, and in the interest of eliminating hierarchy I wish to extend you a warm welcome as well. | |||
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"Imagine if a gay walked into a gay bar and started talking to another gay. They were having a nice, seemingly gay conversation when they overhear a loud group talking about how gays are sinful and going straight to hell. The first gay politely tells the group that, whilst they can have their own opinion, this is a gay bar and such conversation is not really appropriate. He returns to the previous guy person he was talking to who suddenly tells him that he was rude and bigoted! "I thought you'd back me" he says. "Nah I'm straight, I just come here for the cheap drinks". The gay suddenly realises that he's the only gay in the gay bar and everyone else is just taking advantage of the cheap drink prices. That's what it often feels like being an actual swinger on this forum. " The only swingers in the village | |||
"Imagine if a gay walked into a gay bar and started talking to another gay. They were having a nice, seemingly gay conversation when they overhear a loud group talking about how gays are sinful and going straight to hell. The first gay politely tells the group that, whilst they can have their own opinion, this is a gay bar and such conversation is not really appropriate. He returns to the previous guy person he was talking to who suddenly tells him that he was rude and bigoted! "I thought you'd back me" he says. "Nah I'm straight, I just come here for the cheap drinks". The gay suddenly realises that he's the only gay in the gay bar and everyone else is just taking advantage of the cheap drink prices. That's what it often feels like being an actual swinger on this forum. The only swingers in the village " | |||
"Imagine if a gay walked into a gay bar and started talking to another gay. They were having a nice, seemingly gay conversation when they overhear a loud group talking about how gays are sinful and going straight to hell. The first gay politely tells the group that, whilst they can have their own opinion, this is a gay bar and such conversation is not really appropriate. He returns to the previous guy person he was talking to who suddenly tells him that he was rude and bigoted! "I thought you'd back me" he says. "Nah I'm straight, I just come here for the cheap drinks". The gay suddenly realises that he's the only gay in the gay bar and everyone else is just taking advantage of the cheap drink prices. That's what it often feels like being an actual swinger on this forum. The only swingers in the village
"So for all the people who love to post threads about how they will leave this site when they have a "proper" partner and want a serious relationship... this is a local shop for local people and there's nothing for you here | |||
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"On my couple profile we wouldn't knowingly meet a man whining with a girl friend wouldn't share her " Whining what is that . I meant when with | |||
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"This is a good point and I’m a single guy but there is no site like this for singles you have fab guys for the guys who like well guys but no site for singles so come on fab give us fab singles " There's loads already out there. Very popular free ones such as pof etc. They seem to be exactly the same as here. | |||
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"I have been on the scene since I was 20 and since then, anyone I meet in the 'vanilla' world and feel a connection with, I let them kno that I am bi and I swing and go to swinging clubs. Its upto them to accept it or not. If accepted, then do it together, if they dont then I say bye. It is part of who I am and what I am about. I have been asked many times if I would ever giv it up.. My answer.. If I was in a relationship, content and getting enough to fulfil my sex drive, then maybe yes but not completely. I would like to go a club now and again or bring in a MF Couple of Bi-Fem in to join. I am greedy yes but its being honest and truthful to all. There is no reason to cheat on anybody as both given a 'free pass' so to speak when swinging together. I wouldnt like my partner to meet behind my back so works both ways...tag team is more fun xx
Hope I get to meet someone like you very soon x x"Plenty out there like myself xx | |||
"Swinging is a state of mind it does not matter if your are in a relationship or single it is how you approach sharing a sexual partner that makes you a swinger." | |||
