FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > little rant
little rant
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
Answer fom the FAQ page
There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's rubbish. It takes seconds to reply not hours. No thanks takes 3 seconds to type so why not type it if they have taken the time to read the mail. Or why can't the admin team put a no thanks button like there is on there sister site, dogging.co.uk? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1) We got bored after writing "thanks, but no thanks" after the first 1000 times (guesstimate).
2) We are users of the message filters occasionally. We have found that we have had members that we have said "thanks, but no thanks" to have been able to message us again despite the message filters being applied.... refer to point 1) to understand our state of mind  |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz "
We will generally reply if people have taken the time to read our profile and sent us a nice message.
Don't reply to one liners or copy and paste emails or those outside our preferences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's rubbish. It takes seconds to reply not hours. No thanks takes 3 seconds to type so why not type it if they have taken the time to read the mail. Or why can't the admin team put a no thanks button like there is on there sister site, dogging.co.uk?"
Mainly because Its personal choice- try not to enforce your expectations of how to behave on others and it won't lead to fraustration/ disappointment. |
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"This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz "
Because we got tired of the abuse we got in return. Plus, if you message someone, you can't then block them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's rubbish. It takes seconds to reply not hours. No thanks takes 3 seconds to type so why not type it if they have taken the time to read the mail. Or why can't the admin team put a no thanks button like there is on there sister site, dogging.co.uk?"
Just because you decide to write does not mean we have to reply esp if we are not interested, to many emails and to little time to reply to everyone don't like it then lump it   |
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I just don't get why people complain about this. Sending a message isn't some precious gift that people should feel incredibly grateful for.
And I'd rather be rejected silently than log into my account, get excited because I have 10 messages, and then they're all "no thanks". How is that any better?
Another reason I suspect women/couples don't reply with "no thanks" to each of a 100 messages is they'd probably get 50 x "Why not?" back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz
Because we got tired of the abuse we got in return. Plus, if you message someone, you can't then block them."
Not true, you can block them, after you have messaged them- just click on the original message from them and next to the 'delete message' button is 'also block user' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just don't get why people complain about this. Sending a message isn't some precious gift that people should feel incredibly grateful for.
And I'd rather be rejected silently than log into my account, get excited because I have 10 messages, and then they're all "no thanks". How is that any better?
Another reason I suspect women/couples don't reply with "no thanks" to each of a 100 messages is they'd probably get 50 x "Why not?" back."
I think I  you  |
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"This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz
Because we got tired of the abuse we got in return. Plus, if you message someone, you can't then block them.
Not true, you can block them, after you have messaged them- just click on the original message from them and next to the 'delete message' button is 'also block user'"
Woo hoo, ta muchly!!! |
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"I just don't get why people complain about this. Sending a message isn't some precious gift that people should feel incredibly grateful for.
And I'd rather be rejected silently than log into my account, get excited because I have 10 messages, and then they're all "no thanks". How is that any better?
Another reason I suspect women/couples don't reply with "no thanks" to each of a 100 messages is they'd probably get 50 x "Why not?" back.
I think I you "
Hehe! Why thank you. Merry Xmas :D |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"That's rubbish. It takes seconds to reply not hours. No thanks takes 3 seconds to type so why not type it if they have taken the time to read the mail. Or why can't the admin team put a no thanks button like there is on there sister site, dogging.co.uk?"
Where did it say in my reply it takes hours?
It just takes time that some people don't want to and don't have to spend sending a "no thank-you" to someone they are not interested in. Easy Peasy to work out really! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz "
baz why not post here what you normally write in your initial mail and we can constructivly advise you on what you can do to perhaps improve it and hopefully improve your chance of replies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I believe that if you have no expections when you send a message then a reply is a bonus 
No reply = no thanks,no-one is under any obligation to reply at all
My reasons for not replying would be
I don't like the profile
I don't like the message
Im not looking for new guys at the moment
I don't have time and then I forget 
They're the other end of the country
They don't share the same interests as I do
I don't like the look of them
Im not in the mood to reply
Plenty of other reasons too,none of them personal to anyone just depends on how I feel at the time
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Please don't take it that I'm having a go at all couples some do reply but since I came back on here as a single guy it seems to be bad and most single guys have the same problem but never say anything.
It just annoys me when you can see that people have read your mail and not replied or done anything with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's rubbish. It takes seconds to reply not hours. No thanks takes 3 seconds to type so why not type it if they have taken the time to read the mail. Or why can't the admin team put a no thanks button like there is on there sister site, dogging.co.uk?
Just because you decide to write does not mean we have to reply esp if we are not interested, to many emails and to little time to reply to everyone don't like it then lump it "
...and therein is the reality, as hard as it sounds...time to grow that thicker skin, methinks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just don't get why people complain about this. Sending a message isn't some precious gift that people should feel incredibly grateful for.
And I'd rather be rejected silently than log into my account, get excited because I have 10 messages, and then they're all "no thanks". How is that any better?
Another reason I suspect women/couples don't reply with "no thanks" to each of a 100 messages is they'd probably get 50 x "Why not?" back.
I think I you
Hehe! Why thank you. Merry Xmas :D"
You are very welcome Merry Christmas to you too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came back on here as a single guy it seems to be bad and most single guys have the same problem but never say anything.
"
I beg to differ the forum is full of single guys having a little rant about lack of replies, hence my initial comment of incomming !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"bootielicious I don't have a standard message I read the profile and try and write something that relates to the couple but thanks for thinking "
Big....
You need to learn only one thing-
No One is OBLIGED to reply to you, end of!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Honeypot if you put on your profile no reply=not interested then that's fair enough cos you have put it in writing. But I wouldn't say it was taken as written |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz "
My two penneth,
I receive spam, junk mail, and numerous text and phone calls a week .. all of this mail / communication is unsolicited, I read not a lot, I reply only to the communication that interests me,... I can't imagine you reply to all of your unsolicited mail, ?
when you chose to message the couples singles etc , you were selective, you didn't mail every profile, however your mail was unsolicited, the people you're messaging are using the same process selecting some or none to reply to...I'd be concentrateing on the next message make it better more pertinent, concentrate on your inbox not your outbox,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honeypot if you put on your profile no reply=not interested then that's fair enough cos you have put it in writing. But I wouldn't say it was taken as written "
Why do they 'have to' write that on 'their' profile?
You just need to start 'assuming' a no reply = not interested. No offence. |
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"1) We got bored after writing "thanks, but no thanks" after the first 1000 times (guesstimate).
2) We are users of the message filters occasionally. We have found that we have had members that we have said "thanks, but no thanks" to have been able to message us again despite the message filters being applied.... refer to point 1) to understand our state of mind "
+1 |
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Although we would love to claim a 100% response rate, in reality we don't respond to every message for one of many reasons:
1. They clearly haven't read our profile.
2. They're asking for an immediate meet.
3. Their profile isn't informative enough.
4. No photo supplied, or it isn't clear enough.
5. They appear desperate with offers of cash or holidays.
6. They couldn't be bothered to use more than 3 words (& sometimes just 1).
7. We've replied to the same guys previously.
8. Not all guys can accept a kind refusal.
9. Their message does not refer to us personally (copy & paste maybe?)
10. They use their status in a negative manner.
11. We suspect they're married guys playing away from home.
And finally, spending just 2 minutes responding to each message would require over an hour each day. Quite honestly we would rather be doing it than apologising for not doing it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just don't get why people complain about this. Sending a message isn't some precious gift that people should feel incredibly grateful for.
And I'd rather be rejected silently than log into my account, get excited because I have 10 messages, and then they're all "no thanks". How is that any better?
Another reason I suspect women/couples don't reply with "no thanks" to each of a 100 messages is they'd probably get 50 x "Why not?" back."
Spot on and I love you too even tho frock got in first!!
Another reason many people don't reply is because of the abuse that a polite refusal is often met with. Ms |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"I just don't get why people complain about this. Sending a message isn't some precious gift that people should feel incredibly grateful for.
And I'd rather be rejected silently than log into my account, get excited because I have 10 messages, and then they're all "no thanks". How is that any better?
Another reason I suspect women/couples don't reply with "no thanks" to each of a 100 messages is they'd probably get 50 x "Why not?" back.
Spot on and I love you too even tho frock got in first!!
Another reason many people don't reply is because of the abuse that a polite refusal is often met with. Ms"
yep have often replied with 'Thanks but no thanks' only to get abuse hurled at us - have to say on very rare occassions we do also get 'thanks for the reply and good luck' but they are far outweighed by the abusive responses - the block button really does work wonders though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just don't get why people complain about this. Sending a message isn't some precious gift that people should feel incredibly grateful for.
And I'd rather be rejected silently than log into my account, get excited because I have 10 messages, and then they're all "no thanks". How is that any better?
Another reason I suspect women/couples don't reply with "no thanks" to each of a 100 messages is they'd probably get 50 x "Why not?" back.
Spot on and I love you too even tho frock got in first!!
Another reason many people don't reply is because of the abuse that a polite refusal is often met with. Ms"
Psssstttt! I don't mind sharing |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz "
and do you answer EVERY piece of junk that comes thru your door as well... every takeaway ad... every double glazing flyer....
if you do i know a nigerian prince who's interesting in putting money into your bank account.. all you have to do is give him your sort code apparently... 
and if you don't... my thats awfully rude of you!!!!
as the others have said... I think you need to grow a thicker skin... and if something as trivial as not getting a reply back in giving you this kind of grief.... i wonder if swinging is really for you...
someone had to be blunt.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's rubbish. It takes seconds to reply not hours. No thanks takes 3 seconds to type so why not type it if they have taken the time to read the mail. Or why can't the admin team put a no thanks button like there is on there sister site, dogging.co.uk?"
Why is it rubbish ?
Cause you don't agree with it?
Some couples and single fems get over 100 mails a day
Why people think they have a right to an answer to an unsolicited ( yes I know some dispute unsolicited but they are) mail I will NEVER understand
If someone don't reply to my mail I couldn't give a flying fuck to be truthful let alone lose sleep over it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Takes second really you get 50 messages to reply to and log on for half too look yourself
3 seconds you say please
and why does someone have to answer right then and there they may want to weight up the profile message
Not aimed at the OP but I really do wish people would think about these thing be fore getting the hump
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we keep it simple stick a add up on end of add and in status no crap short replys we still get them or even a reply that has nothing in it what we have asked for or we state a time then get the cant do that time can only ,,,,,ect them are the ones we dont bother replying to as shows they aint bother or seem to have took what we wrote in them we dont reply to, if its we aint into them we will ansa with a polite no thanks ,end of day why worry and complain it only draws users to think its a twist post ,move on no trply nothing lost. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"That's rubbish. It takes seconds to reply not hours. No thanks takes 3 seconds to type so why not type it if they have taken the time to read the mail. Or why can't the admin team put a no thanks button like there is on there sister site, dogging.co.uk?"
If you know about the auto mail you also know people have complained about getting one of them as it is not personal enough.
Instead of letting it bother you, just accept some people don't answer and move onto the next one. |
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sorry op but where does it say on the site that if you recieve a mail from someone you MUST answer ?
lets use some common sense here ..if the persons interested they WILL get back to you wont they .if they dont then you arent for what ever reason what they are looking for. now you can choose to continue to seeth and rant over something you cant possible control or change .OR .... you can accept no one gets an answer to every mail they send and if people dont replie THEY JUSY AINT INTERESTED ENOUGH ,and just focus on the ones who DO replie ! the fact you are getting replies is putting you ahead of the curve already ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honeypot if you put on your profile no reply=not interested then that's fair enough cos you have put it in writing. But I wouldn't say it was taken as written "
Errrrr.......actually, it IS written in the site FAQ. Frankly, stamping your foot while throwing your toys out of your pram and shouting "me, me, me, me" is hardly conducive to changing peoples mind.
Frankly, we find these threads useful as we always block the OP on principal, in case he ever decides to contact us. No doubt you feel that is rude, however to us it just makes sense! |
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"I just don't get why people complain about this. Sending a message isn't some precious gift that people should feel incredibly grateful for.
And I'd rather be rejected silently than log into my account, get excited because I have 10 messages, and then they're all "no thanks". How is that any better?
Another reason I suspect women/couples don't reply with "no thanks" to each of a 100 messages is they'd probably get 50 x "Why not?" back.
Spot on and I love you too even tho frock got in first!!
Another reason many people don't reply is because of the abuse that a polite refusal is often met with. Ms
Psssstttt! I don't mind sharing "
Happy to be shared!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just don't get why people complain about this. Sending a message isn't some precious gift that people should feel incredibly grateful for.
And I'd rather be rejected silently than log into my account, get excited because I have 10 messages, and then they're all "no thanks". How is that any better?
Another reason I suspect women/couples don't reply with "no thanks" to each of a 100 messages is they'd probably get 50 x "Why not?" back.
Spot on and I love you too even tho frock got in first!!
Another reason many people don't reply is because of the abuse that a polite refusal is often met with. Ms
Psssstttt! I don't mind sharing
Happy to be shared! "
you should post on this one http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/81408
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for everyones replies and answers. I'm not throwing my toys or teddys or anything else I was just having a rant aren't I allowed? "
Of course you are but if you do you have to expect straight replies |
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"Thanks for everyones replies and answers. I'm not throwing my toys or teddys or anything else I was just having a rant aren't I allowed? "
no one has said you cant rant..just pointing out the futility of it !
as for toys out the pram .... well you asked people reason then blasted persons straight anwer as "utter rubbish " ..how do you really think that portrays you ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi,
First of all I I agree that it is frustrating that not all mails are replied however now I am far more selective of who I message in the first place. If you read peoples profiles you tend to get a feeling if you expect a reply. If you dont think you will get a reply their is obviously a reason for this.
I can say that I probably get reply from 50 percent of my messages but that's because I don't send millions out, I see this site a means to talk to people who are like minded an if we click more. Not I might get a "fuck" out of this I will send them a message.
OP I am not saying that you are like this as I dont know you I am saying that probably 90 percent or more single males are probably like this and this is bound to annoy people who get this kind of attention. Could you imagine having your inbox full of 100 messages from the dreaded "(M)" mark next to their name and having to reply to them all, the frustration of doing that alone is enough to put couples off any single males.
Just my ten pennies lol |
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"This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz
Because we got tired of the abuse we got in return. Plus, if you message someone, you can't then block them."
Yes you can |
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Ive seen couples put on their profile please reply if only to say no thanks as it's rude not to, and then they don't reply.
Also, they say no one liners so you take the time to write a polite and lengthy message and they still can't be bothered to reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Honeypot if you put on your profile no reply=not interested then that's fair enough cos you have put it in writing. But I wouldn't say it was taken as written "
I should have made that a bit clearer
If I send a message and I get no reply I assume that theres no interest,I don't feel that it needs to be made clear on a profile,its obvious to me,no reply means they're not interested,I never expect a no thank you,no-one has any obligation to respond
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personallly if a mail I send is read and there is no reply, I take it upon myself to assume its a no.
whilst I like to get mails, I would hate to be bombarded with mails from people who have not read my profile, or even know where I live in the country.
the site needs to somehow deal with the men that Chase women like animals, which would leave the genuine guys and gals to get to know each other. |
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why the fuck should we reply to such stimulating and enticing attempts from SOME single guys eg.
'i want to lick you till you cream', from an 18 year old!
or, 'wow come to my hotel room now' from a 'professional'!
we do reply to the vast majority as we choose to do so, respect others who feel different..
its sadly not uncommon to receive such crap in an email..
perhaps a 'filter' on the site which spots such drivel and deletes the profiles of such people... |
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"This is mainly aimed at couples. Why don't they ever reply? I have posted countless mail to couples and get very few replies. Why is that? I'm not rude & I don't send the "fancy a fuck" mail.
It only takes 2 seconds to send a no thanks big lad. If they have read the mail why not answer?
I was a couple upto last year and we always answered our mail. I know many other single guys have the same problem but cos we are single guys and there's loads of us on here then its over looked and it really does piss me off.
Could a couple please answer why they don't answer please.
Baz "
You get a pizza delivery leaflet through the door...you like pizza, you have eaten pizza before,but tonight you dont want pizza,do you...
A)throw the leaflet in the bin
B)call the company,telling them they are not what you are looking for right now,but thank you for the leaflet,and you will call them should you have pizza related desires...
i dont answer random messages cos i dont have to, i didnt ask you to message me,and life is too short. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Exactly the same here, I love the block button, it does save people like the OP sending a message that I mist give you a precious 30 seconds to reply to...maybe if you type slowly that could be 3 minutes, or your kids ask you something ' sorry kids I can't listen right now, I must reply to this random message from someone who hasn't bothered to read our profile'
"Frankly, we find these threads useful as we always block the OP on principal, in case he ever decides to contact us. No doubt you feel that is rude, however to us it just makes sense!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have actually tried both ie sending no thanks etc or just deleting if not interested, of 100 messages just deleted we had two further messages ranting that its rude just to delete etc,
Of 100 messages replied to no thanks, we got 11 messages back 8 were pretty bad. So thats why most of the time we just delete if not interested, if someone seems genuine but is not quite what we looking for ie not bi/top far away etc we will say so but no reply is quicker and gets us less hassle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have actually tried both ie sending no thanks etc or just deleting if not interested, of 100 messages just deleted we had two further messages ranting that its rude just to delete etc,
Of 100 messages replied to no thanks, we got 11 messages back 8 were pretty bad. So thats why most of the time we just delete if not interested, if someone seems genuine but is not quite what we looking for ie not bi/top far away etc we will say so but no reply is quicker and gets us less hassle."
What makes me laugh is the ones who then send another message saying that's just rude, merely show me how rude they are for not having read my profile when it not hidden of course. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's rubbish. It takes seconds to reply not hours. No thanks takes 3 seconds to type so why not type it if they have taken the time to read the mail. Or why can't the admin team put a no thanks button like there is on there sister site, dogging.co.uk?"
can you not accept the non reply as no thanks?? |
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