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christmas joke

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By *orphin OP   Couple  over a year ago

wirral

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde.

She asks "Santa, will you stay with me?"

Santa says, "Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!"

She takes off her nightgown, and wearing only a bra and panties, she asks

"Santa, now will you stay with me?"

Santa says, "Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!"

She takes off everything and asks "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

Santa replies "Hey Hey I gotta stay, gotta stay! I can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!

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By *orphin OP   Couple  over a year ago

wirral

He laid her on the table.

So white clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat.

He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast.

And then drooling felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set,

He gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide...he looked inside.

All was dark and murky.

He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...

And then he stuffed the turkey.

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By *orphin OP   Couple  over a year ago

wirral

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something "Christmassy".

The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in.

The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.

The third man pulls out a pair of panties.

Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"

The third man answered "They're Carol's."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

With jokes like that thank fook xmas is only once a year!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You think that's bad check these out....

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinsilitus!!

Or

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy!

HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA.......Beat that people!

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By *orphin OP   Couple  over a year ago

wirral

What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?

This will sleigh you

Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza.

The salesgirl asked him:-

'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?'

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