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Pandora's Box
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At age 32, I've done about 80% of sexual things I ever want to try. Frankly, it's been epic. I've had highs that will give me a stiffy on my deathbed. However, I often wonder what the other extreme would have been like. Sometimes I wonder if the secret to happiness is low expectations. What if I'd married a virgin (whilst being a virgin), avoided porn and lived in ignorant bliss, could I have gotten the same high from seeing my wife in crotchless underwear?
About a year ago, I gave up sugar because i needed ever increasing quantities just to get that hit. Now i can eat a mango and it blows my taste buds away.
Do you think sex is like that for Mormons / amish and people that only ever fuck one person? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps it depends on the person they're fucking. With the right person they could blow your mind, even in a simple way.
It's sad when you find someone that opens Pandora's box but then you have to shut it again. |
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"Perhaps it depends on the person they're fucking. With the right person they could blow your mind, even in a simple way.
It's sad when you find someone that opens Pandora's box but then you have to shut it again. "
Oh my box is very much open. I'm more thinking about whether id advise other people (i.e. friends) to open theirs or not. For me personally, I don't think there ever was one person I could have fucked forever and never wanted swinging. But given an entire overhaul of my ideas (e.g. no porn, no wanking, no sex outside marriage) then i wonder if it could have been possible. Just a thought experiment. |
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I doubt that sex is that high on the agenda for those who spend their life only having it with one person . There’s only so much you can do and experience with the same person after all .
Unlike the op , I’ve experienced 100% of what I want to do sexually , hence the fact that we’ve pretty much given up swinging now . We are now finding that the sex we have together has become even more intense , a bit like the giving up sugar and eating a mango analogy !
I feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t get the sexual satisfaction they crave . It’s the one thing we get for free ( in most cases anyway ) that can really give us the most amazing buzz . |
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"I doubt that sex is that high on the agenda for those who spend their life only having it with one person . There’s only so much you can do and experience with the same person after all . "
The defensive side of me wants to say that the standard some of my relatives achieved (No porn, wanking or sex) was only really achieved by luck of biology and the fact that they are pure beta males that are mediocre (or less) in just about every aspect of life. It's just hard to be totally honest with yourself. Objectivly, their wives are not especially attractive either. They also got married much younger than me.
But there is a proven link between sexual energy and achievement in ones career etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What if's...
You know what ive been bought up with this- work hard play harder, enjoy life ride the rollercoaster, try everything once learn from mistakes and regret nothing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was that person.
Got with my husband at 14. Was the only person I had sex with until I was 39.
I played with myself sometimes and occasionally watched porn.
I knew there had to be more to sex than just fucking one person for the rest of my life so I went out and experienced it!
Oh and the comment about being sexually charged and being successful is a load of bollocks! |
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"I was that person.
Got with my husband at 14. Was the only person I had sex with until I was 39.
"
Would you say that was by design / choice or you just followed the default path of what was expected of you?
"
I played with myself sometimes and occasionally watched porn.
I knew there had to be more to sex than just fucking one person for the rest of my life so I went out and experienced it!
Oh and the comment about being sexually charged and being successful is a load of bollocks! "
As i say, it's a proven link. See "Sexual Transmutation" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was that person.
Got with my husband at 14. Was the only person I had sex with until I was 39.
Would you say that was by design / choice or you just followed the default path of what was expected of you?
I played with myself sometimes and occasionally watched porn.
I knew there had to be more to sex than just fucking one person for the rest of my life so I went out and experienced it!
Oh and the comment about being sexually charged and being successful is a load of bollocks!
As i say, it's a proven link. See "Sexual Transmutation""
It was kind of forced upon me!! Long story.
I still say it's bollocks  |
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"I doubt that sex is that high on the agenda for those who spend their life only having it with one person . There’s only so much you can do and experience with the same person after all .
The defensive side of me wants to say that the standard some of my relatives achieved (No porn, wanking or sex) was only really achieved by luck of biology and the fact that they are pure beta males that are mediocre (or less) in just about every aspect of life. It's just hard to be totally honest with yourself. Objectivly, their wives are not especially attractive either. They also got married much younger than me.
But there is a proven link between sexual energy and achievement in ones career etc. "
There is also a proven link between alpha males being sub to female dommes. Correlation however, is rarely causation. I would suggest the reason for the Alpha male wanting and sometimes needing a female domme to be more deep rooted, usually from childhood. Plenty of beta males are sub, dom or switch.
You assume you know what your relatives get up to in the bedroom. You dont. Some of the kinkiest fuckers were the straight laced victorians. |
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"I doubt that sex is that high on the agenda for those who spend their life only having it with one person . There’s only so much you can do and experience with the same person after all .
The defensive side of me wants to say that the standard some of my relatives achieved (No porn, wanking or sex) was only really achieved by luck of biology and the fact that they are pure beta males that are mediocre (or less) in just about every aspect of life. It's just hard to be totally honest with yourself. Objectivly, their wives are not especially attractive either. They also got married much younger than me.
But there is a proven link between sexual energy and achievement in ones career etc.
There is also a proven link between alpha males being sub to female dommes. Correlation however, is rarely causation. I would suggest the reason for the Alpha male wanting and sometimes needing a female domme to be more deep rooted, usually from childhood. Plenty of beta males are sub, dom or switch.
You assume you know what your relatives get up to in the bedroom. You dont. Some of the kinkiest fuckers were the straight laced victorians."
Not following your logic sorry. Are you suggesting that submission to a female domm is a contradiction for an alpha male? If so, I would strongly disagree. |
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"I doubt that sex is that high on the agenda for those who spend their life only having it with one person . There’s only so much you can do and experience with the same person after all .
The defensive side of me wants to say that the standard some of my relatives achieved (No porn, wanking or sex) was only really achieved by luck of biology and the fact that they are pure beta males that are mediocre (or less) in just about every aspect of life. It's just hard to be totally honest with yourself. Objectivly, their wives are not especially attractive either. They also got married much younger than me.
But there is a proven link between sexual energy and achievement in ones career etc.
There is also a proven link between alpha males being sub to female dommes. Correlation however, is rarely causation. I would suggest the reason for the Alpha male wanting and sometimes needing a female domme to be more deep rooted, usually from childhood. Plenty of beta males are sub, dom or switch.
You assume you know what your relatives get up to in the bedroom. You dont. Some of the kinkiest fuckers were the straight laced victorians.
Not following your logic sorry. Are you suggesting that submission to a female domm is a contradiction for an alpha male? If so, I would strongly disagree. "
Not a contradiction to someone who knows the psychology behind it. But its usually suprising to people who dont indulge in that behaviour. |
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"I doubt that sex is that high on the agenda for those who spend their life only having it with one person . There’s only so much you can do and experience with the same person after all .
The defensive side of me wants to say that the standard some of my relatives achieved (No porn, wanking or sex) was only really achieved by luck of biology and the fact that they are pure beta males that are mediocre (or less) in just about every aspect of life. It's just hard to be totally honest with yourself. Objectivly, their wives are not especially attractive either. They also got married much younger than me.
But there is a proven link between sexual energy and achievement in ones career etc.
There is also a proven link between alpha males being sub to female dommes. Correlation however, is rarely causation. I would suggest the reason for the Alpha male wanting and sometimes needing a female domme to be more deep rooted, usually from childhood. Plenty of beta males are sub, dom or switch.
You assume you know what your relatives get up to in the bedroom. You dont. Some of the kinkiest fuckers were the straight laced victorians.
Not following your logic sorry. Are you suggesting that submission to a female domm is a contradiction for an alpha male? If so, I would strongly disagree.
Not a contradiction to someone who knows the psychology behind it. But its usually suprising to people who dont indulge in that behaviour."
Yes, there's also a national shortage of remotely decent female domms. You generally have to pay for the privilege to get anyone capable. |
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"I doubt that sex is that high on the agenda for those who spend their life only having it with one person . There’s only so much you can do and experience with the same person after all .
The defensive side of me wants to say that the standard some of my relatives achieved (No porn, wanking or sex) was only really achieved by luck of biology and the fact that they are pure beta males that are mediocre (or less) in just about every aspect of life. It's just hard to be totally honest with yourself. Objectivly, their wives are not especially attractive either. They also got married much younger than me.
But there is a proven link between sexual energy and achievement in ones career etc.
There is also a proven link between alpha males being sub to female dommes. Correlation however, is rarely causation. I would suggest the reason for the Alpha male wanting and sometimes needing a female domme to be more deep rooted, usually from childhood. Plenty of beta males are sub, dom or switch.
You assume you know what your relatives get up to in the bedroom. You dont. Some of the kinkiest fuckers were the straight laced victorians.
Not following your logic sorry. Are you suggesting that submission to a female domm is a contradiction for an alpha male? If so, I would strongly disagree.
Not a contradiction to someone who knows the psychology behind it. But its usually suprising to people who dont indulge in that behaviour.
Yes, there's also a national shortage of remotely decent female domms. You generally have to pay for the privilege to get anyone capable. "
Perhaps we could get parliament to discuss getting a domme training scheme off the ground. The kinky fuckers would give it a unanimous yes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This may be slightly at a tangent, but..
for me the highs from adventurous sex - public in clubs, or in moresomes or sensation play, or..., in some ways substitute the high from expressing your love for someone through sex, but by God after such a long time without it I think experiencing that again would be a much more intense rush..
Excuse the crappy syntax. |
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"
Perhaps we could get parliament to discuss getting a domme training scheme off the ground. The kinky fuckers would give it a unanimous yes!"
Not sure we're there yet as a nation. Brighton university got into trouble for allowing a sex workers group to have a stand at their freshers fair. |
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"This may be slightly at a tangent, but..
for me the highs from adventurous sex - public in clubs, or in moresomes or sensation play, or..., in some ways substitute the high from expressing your love for someone through sex, but by God after such a long time without it I think experiencing that again would be a much more intense rush..
Excuse the crappy syntax."
Not a tangent. To be honest, I can't really relate love and sex together. I lost my virginity young and have had epic sex with people whose name I didn't know. I do understand how some other people need a link or overlap with them. I just personally don't and therefore can't relate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This may be slightly at a tangent, but..
for me the highs from adventurous sex - public in clubs, or in moresomes or sensation play, or..., in some ways substitute the high from expressing your love for someone through sex, but by God after such a long time without it I think experiencing that again would be a much more intense rush..
Excuse the crappy syntax.
Not a tangent. To be honest, I can't really relate love and sex together. I lost my virginity young and have had epic sex with people whose name I didn't know. I do understand how some other people need a link or overlap with them. I just personally don't and therefore can't relate. "
A fair point regarding your feelings, but you’ve assumed that I didn’t lose my virginity early and that I haven’t had epic sex with people I don’t love. Neither of those are true. |
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"This may be slightly at a tangent, but..
for me the highs from adventurous sex - public in clubs, or in moresomes or sensation play, or..., in some ways substitute the high from expressing your love for someone through sex, but by God after such a long time without it I think experiencing that again would be a much more intense rush..
Excuse the crappy syntax.
Not a tangent. To be honest, I can't really relate love and sex together. I lost my virginity young and have had epic sex with people whose name I didn't know. I do understand how some other people need a link or overlap with them. I just personally don't and therefore can't relate.
A fair point regarding your feelings, but you’ve assumed that I didn’t lose my virginity early and that I haven’t had epic sex with people I don’t love. Neither of those are true."
I wasn't really assuming that, more that personally I would use different words to describe the different emotions / experiences of swinging vrs sex with a life partner. In the same way that getting high off alcohol is a different experience to getting high off exercise. By definition, an often repeated experience cannot be as exciting as a novel one, since humans naturally adjust to repeated sensations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This may be slightly at a tangent, but..
for me the highs from adventurous sex - public in clubs, or in moresomes or sensation play, or..., in some ways substitute the high from expressing your love for someone through sex, but by God after such a long time without it I think experiencing that again would be a much more intense rush..
Excuse the crappy syntax.
Not a tangent. To be honest, I can't really relate love and sex together. I lost my virginity young and have had epic sex with people whose name I didn't know. I do understand how some other people need a link or overlap with them. I just personally don't and therefore can't relate.
A fair point regarding your feelings, but you’ve assumed that I didn’t lose my virginity early and that I haven’t had epic sex with people I don’t love. Neither of those are true.
I wasn't really assuming that, more that personally I would use different words to describe the different emotions / experiences of swinging vrs sex with a life partner. In the same way that getting high off alcohol is a different experience to getting high off exercise. By definition, an often repeated experience cannot be as exciting as a novel one, since humans naturally adjust to repeated sensations. "
Ah, OK. Crossed wires. I imagine there are couples who still have an amazing sex life after a lengthy marriage, but I can’t speak to that. |
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"This may be slightly at a tangent, but..
for me the highs from adventurous sex - public in clubs, or in moresomes or sensation play, or..., in some ways substitute the high from expressing your love for someone through sex, but by God after such a long time without it I think experiencing that again would be a much more intense rush..
Excuse the crappy syntax.
Not a tangent. To be honest, I can't really relate love and sex together. I lost my virginity young and have had epic sex with people whose name I didn't know. I do understand how some other people need a link or overlap with them. I just personally don't and therefore can't relate.
A fair point regarding your feelings, but you’ve assumed that I didn’t lose my virginity early and that I haven’t had epic sex with people I don’t love. Neither of those are true.
I wasn't really assuming that, more that personally I would use different words to describe the different emotions / experiences of swinging vrs sex with a life partner. In the same way that getting high off alcohol is a different experience to getting high off exercise. By definition, an often repeated experience cannot be as exciting as a novel one, since humans naturally adjust to repeated sensations.
Ah, OK. Crossed wires. I imagine there are couples who still have an amazing sex life after a lengthy marriage, but I can’t speak to that."
I wouldn't dispute that, I would argue that it's amazing because of deep emotions of affection, comfort, mutual respect etc as opposed to adrenaline pumping excitement. |
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