FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What's stopping you meeting?
What's stopping you meeting?
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My wife and i were chatting at the weekend, and for us it's essentially lazyness. Plenty of offers but nothing quality within an evenings travel/meet time. So we've got into the habit of not bothering, and now not even sure how we'd start meeting again, kids have got older and stay up longer, and ask more questions, so we just kinda don't. Not really stopped, just kinda don't know how to carry on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Grandkids staying over, working shifts and just general "stuff"...its probably why most of our meets now are weekends away when we can get them and holidays |
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"Grandkids staying over, working shifts and just general "stuff"...its probably why most of our meets now are weekends away when we can get them and holidays "
I can certainly see why fab is more popular with singletons. Lucky buggers.  |
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"My wife and i were chatting at the weekend, and for us it's essentially lazyness. Plenty of offers but nothing quality within an evenings travel/meet time. So we've got into the habit of not bothering, and now not even sure how we'd start meeting again, kids have got older and stay up longer, and ask more questions, so we just kinda don't. Not really stopped, just kinda don't know how to carry on! "
Wow
Word for word what we were saying just this week |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A higher power seemingly! (No,not serious)
Although I was supposed to see someone tonight and my car decided this morning that it no longer wanted to be a car, I think it just wants to be a potato, and I can’t drive a potato 30 Miles unfortunately |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Work. Fractured foot. Family life. It's quite difficult syncing as well at times. And also, maybe for some time I just hadn't wanted to, I was taking time sorting out my fitness and health. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A mixture of laziness, erratic libido, and usually being at work seven days a week.
I hear from a lot of people who seem nice enough but very rarely anyone who lights my fire sufficiently to get off my backside and actually meet them, especially if they're more than a short bus ride away.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Laziness family commitment nights watching ice hockey and early morning starts for him to go shooting at silly o’clock,and big lack of decent offers and being letdown so many times knocks confidence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My wife and i were chatting at the weekend, and for us it's essentially lazyness. Plenty of offers but nothing quality within an evenings travel/meet time. So we've got into the habit of not bothering, and now not even sure how we'd start meeting again, kids have got older and stay up longer, and ask more questions, so we just kinda don't. Not really stopped, just kinda don't know how to carry on! "
Work and personal commitments and of late certain people’s attitudes with entitlement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Too much effort, laziness, lack of decent people around to meet. I'm enjoying my fifteen months worth of celibacy too much to break it for just anyone. And that isn't even sarcasm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even though I created my profile a year ago I have only just started using it so don't know anyone yet. I do have more free time now than I used to have but like anyone else time and meets need to be planned for can't always do instant meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Work, family and social life all tend to stop me from making any plans.
Of course, the other ‘minor’ factor is lack of opportunity. I can’t remember when I last received a response (not even a courteous “No thank you”) on this site. Either it is going to the dogs, or I am?!  C’est la vie... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being male, unable to accommodate and severe lack of ladies in my area that match my tastes.
Thats just made me think of a thread
Threadbare? "
Accommodating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same for us, work life commitments, and most often being lazy not putting the effort in, and we primarily meet during the day.
Wow think we should just give up 
X storm x"
daytime meets are good , i'd book a hotel near you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"daytime meets are good , i'd book a hotel near you "
I agree, daytime meets work best for me because I’m my own boss. I can slot a day off into my work time without conflicting with my busy evenings, feeling tired, etc and weekends...
Daytime gets my vote, every time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mixture of laziness, erratic libido, and usually being at work seven days a week.
I hear from a lot of people who seem nice enough but very rarely anyone who lights my fire sufficiently to get off my backside and actually meet them, especially if they're more than a short bus ride away.
"
This for me too
I don't work at weekends but the majority of men on Fab are attatched so .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being male, unable to accommodate and severe lack of ladies in my area that match my tastes.
Then travel  "
shit I never considered that! What was I thinking!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wife lives in a different country to me, and travels a lot for work. We only meet as a couple so now we seldom swing at all though occasionally can be found at some of the Berlin clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it’s boredom of the same old same , the excitement has gone out of it for us .. hopefully it will come back .
Also we both feel like we have put weight on so feel a bit too self conscious .. |
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"For us it’s boredom of the same old same , the excitement has gone out of it for us .. hopefully it will come back .
Also we both feel like we have put weight on so feel a bit too self conscious .. "
No way, your pics are very sexy x storm x |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
For me
Sometimes it’s a general lack of enthusiasm for anything other than a yummy red, pjs and a movie (even if I’m on a child free evening)
My daughter lives with me so that limits my free time.
Sometimes i want to but can’t find an event that inspires me.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mostly down to the kids. 2 teenage daughters and a 4yr old son make things tricky.
The girls generally at home on evening and not yet ready to babysit. Lack of babysitter means we're generally home too.
That and we've been out the game a while and a little rusty. Need to get in shape and get back on it. Both a little body conscious too we guess. |
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Laziness here too. Have met old meets a couple of times but I can't be bothered investing in new contacts much.
Before my last relationship I met very prolifically, often multiple meets in a day but now I'm more concerned of twitchy neighbours curtains |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Work, work and more work!
Mr is a dj, so most weekends are now booked up well in advance, and if,on the rare occasion we are free, either mother nature ruins it, or we just dont feel like it.
Having said that, we went to our first party this year, last weekend, and cant wait to have some more spare time
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me!
I stop my meetings because I think
I'm too fat
I'm not good looking enough
I'm too old
Lol
Believe it or not I really love sex
What is wrong with me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My wife and i were chatting at the weekend, and for us it's essentially lazyness. Plenty of offers but nothing quality within an evenings travel/meet time. So we've got into the habit of not bothering, and now not even sure how we'd start meeting again, kids have got older and stay up longer, and ask more questions, so we just kinda don't. Not really stopped, just kinda don't know how to carry on! "
Nothing at clubs, the abysmal lack of effort and time wasters on fabs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My wife and i were chatting at the weekend, and for us it's essentially lazyness. Plenty of offers but nothing quality within an evenings travel/meet time. So we've got into the habit of not bothering, and now not even sure how we'd start meeting again, kids have got older and stay up longer, and ask more questions, so we just kinda don't. Not really stopped, just kinda don't know how to carry on!
Wow
Word for word what we were saying just this week"
Sane here. No-one that really makes us tempted. We tend to stick to clubs now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly on here never meet anybody off here (but do know people on here)
But I reguarlly do through friends or social media.
Tbh find fab abit of a waste of time for sex. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Cancer unfortunately "
Hope you're getting plenty of support online and offline, it's now when your real friends make themselves known.
I was there for my workmate last year, when he needed, taking home from the hospital, a drive in my car to discover my favourite chippy, a drive for the sake of it, some new PJs and slippers, someone not to mention cancer for change, a 2nd wheelchair, a pusher rounder to and from his nursing home room.
Sadly his cancer was terminal and he died last Spring. It was mercifully quick for him weeks, not years.
So take all the help on offer and be greedy with their time. Pride is well and good, but cancer is a tag team event...don't fight it alone.
All the best |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Maybe I'm not her type?
She likes my jokes, but doesn't fancy me.
I got put in the friendzone
I've messaged a few times and the chat ran out of steam.
I'm still waiting for a reply.
Won't answer non veris.
Had a better offer.
I've only been on FAB for a few weeks.
Geography |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us it’s boredom of the same old same , the excitement has gone out of it for us .. hopefully it will come back .
Also we both feel like we have put weight on so feel a bit too self conscious ..
No way, your pics are very sexy x storm x"
 thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A very scary meet and poor health."
I hope you are ok now. Maybe meet socially first somewhere public although I know that doesn’t guarantee safety.
OP - I’m just feeling a bit bleurgh and trying to sort my weight out. Plus my job is madly busy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being scared they won't like me in real life compared to my photos...  "
Your young and believe me beautiful (even though I can’t see your face fully) don’t put yourself down. I’m nearly 40 and if I could give my 30 yr old self some advice it would be. “Embrace yourself as believe me if you think these things now when your 40 you will kick yourself and look back and go DAMN I WAS HOT”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s easy to get meets and fun on here and in clubs, if you are making excuses, don’t have the time etc etc then really you are not that into it, accept that and find a new hobby maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Single male living in a cave up a hill in a place far far away battered with the fugly stick and those I want to meet would rather unlos than take a chance that I only need one bag on my head...ok a full body bag then....
Apart from that I'm pretty much perfect |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"It’s easy to get meets and fun on here and in clubs, if you are making excuses, don’t have the time etc etc then really you are not that into it, accept that and find a new hobby maybe? "
Meeting in clubs is about the only way we do meet. How easy it is to meet on here really depends how particular you are about who you meet. |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"Being scared they won't like me in real life compared to my photos...
Your young and believe me beautiful (even though I can’t see your face fully) don’t put yourself down. I’m nearly 40 and if I could give my 30 yr old self some advice it would be. “Embrace yourself as believe me if you think these things now when your 40 you will kick yourself and look back and go DAMN I WAS HOT”. "
This is so true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being scared they won't like me in real life compared to my photos... "
you look really nice in your photos and I’m sure there isn’t much difference and a lot of people look even better in real life than photos unless it’s been filtered haha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s easy to get meets and fun on here and in clubs, if you are making excuses, don’t have the time etc etc then really you are not that into it, accept that and find a new hobby maybe?
Meeting in clubs is about the only way we do meet. How easy it is to meet on here really depends how particular you are about who you meet."
Well said. Time is also a major factor for those of us who work hard and have other commitments such as children, or perhaps elderly parents. Family comes first for the majority of people, |
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Recently seems because I'm young and I like more maturer women an couples most well 95% say they don't believe that someone my age an look like I do would be interested in them. Why though everyone likes what they like at the end of the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Work, 6pm to 2am shift Monday to Saturday nights. And have my children on a Sunday. Can meet daytimes, but everyone is at work. The biggest problem I have is convincing people that I’m not cheating because of my availability they never seem to believe me when I mention work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mostly the coldness now.Id much rather be snuggled up at home with pjs and fluffy socks on watching a film with a milky coffee.Im going into hybernation mode i think lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So. Looking at this thread it seems a club meet is out for most folks, alongside various insecurities.
Perhaps suggest a pyjama party at a Toby Carvery somewhere before 9pm ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being scared they won't like me in real life compared to my photos...
Your young and believe me beautiful (even though I can’t see your face fully) don’t put yourself down. I’m nearly 40 and if I could give my 30 yr old self some advice it would be. “Embrace yourself as believe me if you think these things now when your 40 you will kick yourself and look back and go DAMN I WAS HOT”.
This is so true "
Yes so true!
I wish I hadn't wasted so much time hating my younger much hotter self
I missed out on a lot of things because of it.
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"Mostly the coldness now.Id much rather be snuggled up at home with pjs and fluffy socks on watching a film with a milky coffee.Im going into hybernation mode i think lol "
Wow it's not even cold yet! You are going to really hate January. |
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On this profile,lack of people that tickle my fancy tbh
On our couple one,many of couples seem to just want a bi fem and getting 4 way attraction /availibility isn't easy,so we used a club if we want to meet up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On this profile,lack of people that tickle my fancy tbh
On our couple one,many of couples seem to just want a bi fem and getting 4 way attraction /availibility isn't easy,so we used a club if we want to meet up."
I've got a really nice feather to tickle you with (male) xx  |
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"no idea. im single. can accom.have been verfi by meet. nice cock. long considerate stayer.nice guy. likes to have fun.
must be just butt fuck ugly then. "
It's your modesty that puts people off... |
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"On this profile,lack of people that tickle my fancy tbh
On our couple one,many of couples seem to just want a bi fem and getting 4 way attraction /availibility isn't easy,so we used a club if we want to meet up.
I've got a really nice feather to tickle you with (male) xx "
Ha ha i bet you have xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As part of a couple, I get the OP. Completely.
Also other halves health has been completely garbage the last 12 months, which has stopped us meeting as a couple.
Our eldest now is allowed to stop up till 11 at weekends and school holidays (not my decision!), and I find some times I struggle to stay up to send her to bed (sad but true) as other half is frequently asleep by the time 11 comes round, and I know the little bigger will stop up till 3am if not sent to bed, then complain she can't go to school as she "poorly" - see "too tired".
OH has given me a "free pass" to meet on my own, and I do try to make this clear, but as an "attached" single guy women just aren't interested. It's as if women (a lot, not all) assume that because I'm attached but on here that I must be cheating...
Occasionally meet a friend who is part of a couple her self, but she's like 2 hours drive away.
Wow, that went on longer than I thought. Sorry about that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi again, its been really interesting following this thread. The general theme seems to be that many members aren't actually "swinging" due to an amazing number of reasons. I'm doing ok, to the point of being pretty exhausted much of the time. With my existing swinging partners, they put it down to their being attracted to confidence, empathy, conversation, honesty, appeal, intellect, the power of the smile .... rather than just stamina and physical attraction (oops, I have those too). Have I missed anything that others who are having a great swinging time have found to be attractive to their swinging partners (121 and MMF). If so, I'd love to know, out of curiosity. Good luck everyone. Mike |
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Work and family. Finding a babysitter. We have found couple's we want to meet, after lots of messages, trying to organise a mutually convenient time it falls flat. Plus we like a social first. Dont usually do spur of the moment.So then it's potentially two evenings needed... |
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I think this sort of thing is a lot more fun when it just happens. Planing it all takes 75% of the fun out of it. Don't get me wrong had a few meetings so far and was all good fun but not the same as when you just go to town get hammered and just end up in the situation. Well not for me anyway
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For me its working full time and trying to be the best Mum I can to my two amazing little people.
I do meet when they are with their dad but that means meets have to be planned and may mean its some way off. Most are good and willing to wait but I get a lot who think im a timewaster - thats up to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My wife and i were chatting at the weekend, and for us it's essentially lazyness. Plenty of offers but nothing quality within an evenings travel/meet time. So we've got into the habit of not bothering, and now not even sure how we'd start meeting again, kids have got older and stay up longer, and ask more questions, so we just kinda don't. Not really stopped, just kinda don't know how to carry on! "
Ditto! x |
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