FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is our inexperience putting people off?
Is our inexperience putting people off?
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We’ve been here for a few months now and we did say that we would be taking our time rather than jumping in at the deep end. We had the usual barrage of messages in the first few weeks that newbies obviously get but that has now dwindled down to hardly any. Is this normal or does our profile put people off because of our lack of experience? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are new and haven't had too many problems. We are soft swap only but have still met plenty of great couples. We actually make most of our contacts through club nights and then use fab to stay in touch.
Plenty on here want full swap or nothing but the people we meet in clubs are far more relaxed, and if they want to play are happy to play by our rules.
Have you attended any clubs? Couples and single fem nights are best for newbies dipping a toe in, especially dress down clubs as you don't have the nerves of waiting to get semi clad. You can walk around, gauge the atmosphere and watch the action. Never any pressure to play but always people happy to chat in the social areas. |
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We’ve been to Chameleons. We deliberately went on a quiet night just so we could see what it was like. We have met some great couples and hopefully have another few meetings lined up with people who we have been chatting with on here. It was a general question about how the influx of messages goes from an unsustainable amount to a trickle in a matter of a few months. Most of the messages we receive now are probably in relation to forum posts or from people we are already chatting with. We often hear about couples being inundated with messages so can’t help wondering if our beginners status is off putting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have the same, a surge of activity and now it has slowed down which we quite like. Although we enjoy the spontaneity of the club which is a thrill, we prefer to get to know people a little first so the slower pace is great as we can focus our attentions on them without trying to keep 10 conversations going at the same time. |
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To be honest with you I know what you mean. We tend to have better conversations with the couples we are regularly chatting to and are learning more about each other so that when we do meet the ice is already broken to a certain extent. As I said it’s just curiosity really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im finding it difficult as a newbie guy ,everyone assumes I want to dive in and fuck everything ,but I would love to start with soft swing or watching ,but couples are hard to find . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally the lack of experience doesn’t bother me, we all have to start somewhere on here. I think your profile text is amazing, really well thought out profile.
Some folks will be put off as they want you to drop your knickers once they message you!!
I’d stick to going to clubs if I was you and making friends via there and you’ll probably find they are on here too.
Just take your time and enjoy the experience.
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been here for a few months now and we did say that we would be taking our time rather than jumping in at the deep end. We had the usual barrage of messages in the first few weeks that newbies obviously get but that has now dwindled down to hardly any. Is this normal or does our profile put people off because of our lack of experience? "
I think it might be bazza
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been here for a few months now and we did say that we would be taking our time rather than jumping in at the deep end. We had the usual barrage of messages in the first few weeks that newbies obviously get but that has now dwindled down to hardly any. Is this normal or does our profile put people off because of our lack of experience? "
Try an experiment. Hide your veris and veri summary. Delete any reference in your profile text that may sound like you're inexperienced. Change your profile pic to something bright and colourful. Like something with red. See if that makes a difference.  |
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Its usual for that to happen. We meet people and play with them at clubs and spas. Its so much easier than arranging meets on here. I find it way more relaxed and you have none of the stressy ping pong messages trying to arrange times and dates that suit 4 people. The way we play its simple. Go out, chat and connect to people and play. Easy peasy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Basically you need to get out to more clubs and if possible outside the West Midlands. Since we've been doing that then we have a steady stream of mail and not really that much from people we don't want to meet. Try event only nights as they tend to be busier. Lexi |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Hello everyone, this is my first post here; so be kind.
From my own experience I have been on a certain dating website that has been on the telly. Anyway 2 years on and off, two potential dates (3 emails each) and still no dates.
I'm the sort of bloke who finds breaking the ice almost impossible. So after discovering (read uncovering) the delights of naturism, then visiting 3 naturist camps in as many weeks. I have never met and chatted to so many genuine people, who have nothing to hide are the most open.
I made my first visit to a swingers club last Saturday and it was the best thing ever...being naked is so wonderful, especially when sitting in a massive hot tub, more like pool; just talking to a naked couple of strangers M & F and telling them that I've got an erection and I'm perfectly happy just to chat to her.
She was really friendly and pretty!
No pressure, no expectations just lay back and let the world outside vanish.
Later on I wandered around naked and sat and chatted to various people, watched loads of people licking, kissing, whipping etc. So after saying Hi a lot and (here's the key point) Smiling! I eventually got invited into a bit of long awaited action. Shame it was 30 mins before closing, but I finally got my happy ending.
What you need is a club that welcomes you with open doors (cos your money is as good as anyones).
Visitors with open minds and later on open legs and on the next visit open arms.
I owe a lot to my hostess, who was an absolute angel and was there all night if I needed someone to talk to. Which I did!
So give or take the night's dress code, you decide how far to go and how much to show. Be comfortable and be nice to others...that's it. The perfect club!
So in a nutshell (or ballbag), drop the online expectations and meet in the flesh. Your questions will be answered on the spot and a welcoming smile and come hither gesture between all parties removes all doubt and a fair bit of clothing.
Good luck |
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"Wait until you've been here for over a year and never receive messages  x storm x"
Ahem  LOL. We complimented your BnW pics a short while ago.
We seem to get plenty of attention but not much other than profile views. The messages we get are from couples are from the men who seem keen enough, we have a laugh and good conversation but that stops as soon as he introduces his wife or partner  It's getting boring and we're fighting cynicism. |
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"It would put us off, as we don't do soft swing.
I also find your profile, too long and too drtailed. Have you also put your address in profile?
- my opinion."
52 Festive Road was where Mr Benn lived.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It would put us off, as we don't do soft swing.
I also find your profile, too long and too drtailed. Have you also put your address in profile?
- my opinion.
52 Festive Road was where Mr Benn lived. "
nigel or Wedgwood? |
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"Wait until you've been here for over a year and never receive messages x storm x
Ahem LOL. We complimented your BnW pics a short while ago.
We seem to get plenty of attention but not much other than profile views. The messages we get are from couples are from the men who seem keen enough, we have a laugh and good conversation but that stops as soon as he introduces his wife or partner It's getting boring and we're fighting cynicism."
Yes you did, thank you x storm x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"52 Festive Road was where Mr Benn lived.
nigel or Wedgwood?
Just "Mister" as far as I remember .
"As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared.""
a football quote no doubt |
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Mr Benn is a character created by David McKee who appears in several children's books, and an animated television series of the same name originally transmitted by the BBC in 1971 and 1972.
Whether in a book, or on television, Mr Benn's adventures take on a similar pattern. Mr Benn, a man wearing a black suit and bowler hat, leaves his house at 52 Festive Road and visits a fancy-dress costume shop where he is invited by the moustachioed, fez-wearing shopkeeper to try on a particular outfit. He leaves the shop through a magic door at the back of the changing room and enters a world appropriate to his costume, where he has an adventure (which usually contains a moral) before the shopkeeper reappears to lead him back to the changing room, and the story comes to an end. Mr Benn returns to his normal life, but is left with a small souvenir of his magical adventure. Additionally, scenes before and after his adventure usually have some connection to it, such as the games the children are playing in the street as he passes.
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
I had the DVD, book with the story of the prisoner and the ceramic shop front diorama by Robert Harrop. Has anybody realised that he likes to dress up; so what about doing an adult series? With episodes linked to a kink or fetish...
The Drag Queen
The Gimp
The Sub
The Dom
The Porn Star
The Porn Director
The Fake Taxi Driver
The Cuckold
The Swinger
The Naturist (first episode perhaps?)
The Voyeur
The Exhibitionist
The Bi-curious
The Sex Toy Tales Rep
The Lingerie Sales Rep
The Milkman
The Plumber
All this at the local sex shop ...
As if by magic; the shop keeper comes out of the closet!
Just needs the right narrator. |
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"Wait until you've been here for over a year and never receive messages x storm x
Ahem LOL. We complimented your BnW pics a short while ago.
We seem to get plenty of attention but not much other than profile views. The messages we get are from couples are from the men who seem keen enough, we have a laugh and good conversation but that stops as soon as he introduces his wife or partner It's getting boring and we're fighting cynicism."
Always speak to the lady first.  |
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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago
Lincoln |
I wouldn’t say it’s the newness that is the problem, that alone wouldn’t put us off a couple anyway, as long as there is pics of both and a decent profile.
Things are very up and down for everyone I think, we have influxes (especially after cam sessions, unsurprisingly!) but then nothing for a while. Just how it goes I think
TB |
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"Wait until you've been here for over a year and never receive messages x storm x
Ahem LOL. We complimented your BnW pics a short while ago.
We seem to get plenty of attention but not much other than profile views. The messages we get are from couples are from the men who seem keen enough, we have a laugh and good conversation but that stops as soon as he introduces his wife or partner It's getting boring and we're fighting cynicism.
Always speak to the lady first. "
How do you make that happen? If he instigates the conversation we rather hope we can trust them enough to know their wife or partners tastes. So when she comes on line, nothing should be a surprise or awkward, let alone wasting time and emotion. Let us in to your trick of speaking to the lady (on line where it's impossible to know) first, please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think.for guys like myself... without veri's but genuine... but the amount guys on here is hard... clubs are prob best option which im gonna try next i reckon! |
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"I think.for guys like myself... without veri's but genuine... but the amount guys on here is hard... clubs are prob best option which im gonna try next i reckon!"
Unlos!
Another one bites the dust!  |
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Hey Mork & Mindy!
You sound a lot like us, really. We've been on the site for over 3 years but we still feel like we're newbies fumbling our way around
We've had a fair few fun experiences. Mostly they've essentially been naked socials in clubs. We have a loose idea as to what we want to try but mostly we just turn up to a club and see where the night takes us. We love socialising and having long chats online.
Obviously that's not what everyone is looking for so most of our chats fade out once the other party realise we're not going to meet them imminently That's fine though. We try to be straight with people early on.
If we sign up to a club event thread then we'll usually get a message or two from other attendees. We'll be open with them about what we're likely to do and not do and then leave it up to them to decide if we're for them.
We've found that the more time you spend planning a meet, the more likely you are to be disappointed. So we just go with the flow. We try and visit clubs when we're travelling around the country. We've made some great friends that way and they're the ones who we keep in touch with and arrange casual club dates with most often
So ultimately - try not to force your fab experience. Try different club nights and see who you click with. You won't be everyone's cup of tea but you might be someone's shot of tequila  |
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We've had a profile for about 6 months and had similar experiences to those already mentioned in terms of an initial flurry of activity then nothing. A lot of that is down to us being caught up with stuff going on with real life at the moment and not really being as proactive as we could be in terms of sending out message replies, winks etc. Hopefully we will be able to jump back on top of things soon though and get the experiences we joined for. Well it's either that our profile is shit and we're fugly!!!! |
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