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Fanny like a wizards sleeve
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If a guy doesn't measure up because his cock is smaller than advertised, it is easy to tell befire you actually start having sex. You can also tell him to fuck off for lying.
What about those women whose twats are that slack that it is like throwing a bratwurst through the Dartford tunnel? We don't find out until we bag up and pop the aul fella in.
Should a woman be more honest about her 'capacity'? Or will it still be the blokes fault for being too small. |
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Good point O.P. you know ....... i've never measured the capacity of mine...
Come to think of it ...... It's not how big it would go but how tight to start with .....
Do you have TightTwatTest I could make use of ..? |
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"I can't believe you've even asked this, of course its the guys fault, EVERYTHING is always the guys fault, even more so in fabland!    "
Never has a truer thing been said.
I love a well done Bratwurst. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it’s just me, but how would I know that I have one like the “Dartford Tunnel”, unless someone actually told me... 
Bad sex isn’t generally one persons fault alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s down to the lady and her honesty. Too small and I won’t feel it, too big and I cannot accommodate it.
That’s why I try to select the a man who I believe has the right size for me. |
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I'm tight infact I work my pelvic floor muscle for 8 hours a day,I'm tighter than a Yorkshire man's wallet me. Infact I can only get an Ikea pencil in my fanny nowadays.
Perhaps I should take it down to 5 hours a day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm tight infact I work my pelvic floor muscle for 8 hours a day,I'm tighter than a Yorkshire man's wallet me. Infact I can only get an Ikea pencil in my fanny nowadays.
Perhaps I should take it down to 5 hours a day."
What about an argos pen? Think that's a tad wider than an Ikea pencil!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How the feck do ya measure ya inside lady garden ffs
I'm 51 and wouldn't have a clue!
No one has ever fallen in and no search party was ever launched to rescue em
Scratches head and worries I've got another thing to worry about that I didn't even know was a thing that I should be worrying about
|
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"I'm tight infact I work my pelvic floor muscle for 8 hours a day,I'm tighter than a Yorkshire man's wallet me. Infact I can only get an Ikea pencil in my fanny nowadays.
Perhaps I should take it down to 5 hours a day.
What about an argos pen? Think that's a tad wider than an Ikea pencil!!"
Hmm good question...give me an hour. Anyone need anything for Argos? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm tight infact I work my pelvic floor muscle for 8 hours a day,I'm tighter than a Yorkshire man's wallet me. Infact I can only get an Ikea pencil in my fanny nowadays.
Perhaps I should take it down to 5 hours a day.
What about an argos pen? Think that's a tad wider than an Ikea pencil!!
Hmm good question...give me an hour. Anyone need anything for Argos?"
A pen please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good point O.P. you know ....... i've never measured the capacity of mine...
Come to think of it ...... It's not how big it would go but how tight to start with .....
Do you have TightTwatTest I could make use of ..?"
New thread needed "How tight is your twat?" C'mon ladies spill the beans. Do you still have grip down there ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good point O.P. you know ....... i've never measured the capacity of mine...
Come to think of it ...... It's not how big it would go but how tight to start with .....
Do you have TightTwatTest I could make use of ..?
New thread needed "How tight is your twat?" C'mon ladies spill the beans. Do you still have grip down there ? "
Isn't that a BeeGees song? Oh silly me, that's how deep is your love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think every guy should measure a woman’s vagina circumference before they have sex, if it’s higher than their desired circumference then they can leave.
Or, insecure guys can stop thinking that women who want big cocks are automatically slack. That’s not how it works. The vagina is like an elastic band and can accommodate very well, some vaginas can accommodate better than others.
Another tip, if you can’t get inside her because she’s “far too tight” and it’s painful for her, you haven’t aroused her enough.  |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
Being a problem solving kinda guy..this may take the lady and a friend ..
Lady who's foof were measuring does a headstand ..
Friend takes ruler and inserts until cervix this gives length..friend removes ruler
Friend takes a measuring jug filled with water and pours in..when the fluid reaches the labia we have cubic capacity ..
Then it's simple maths to figure out the rest.
Bigger the volume bigger the vagina
Or you ladies could just start inserting sky remotes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think every guy should measure a woman’s vagina circumference before they have sex, if it’s higher than their desired circumference then they can leave.
Or, insecure guys can stop thinking that women who want big cocks are automatically slack. That’s not how it works. The vagina is like an elastic band and can accommodate very well, some vaginas can accommodate better than others.
Another tip, if you can’t get inside her because she’s “far too tight” and it’s painful for her, you haven’t aroused her enough. "
What about w/o men that can't feel 5" then ? |
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"I'm tight infact I work my pelvic floor muscle for 8 hours a day,I'm tighter than a Yorkshire man's wallet me. Infact I can only get an Ikea pencil in my fanny nowadays.
Perhaps I should take it down to 5 hours a day.
What about an argos pen? Think that's a tad wider than an Ikea pencil!!
Hmm good question...give me an hour. Anyone need anything for Argos?
A pen please "
You may have to retrieve it though... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good point O.P. you know ....... i've never measured the capacity of mine...
Come to think of it ...... It's not how big it would go but how tight to start with .....
Do you have TightTwatTest I could make use of ..?
New thread needed "How tight is your twat?" C'mon ladies spill the beans. Do you still have grip down there ?
Isn't that a BeeGees song? Oh silly me, that's how deep is your love "
Not for some by how this thread is turning out... seems not too be deep enough |
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By *aenMan
over a year ago
Here and There |
"Good point O.P. you know ....... i've never measured the capacity of mine...
Come to think of it ...... It's not how big it would go but how tight to start with .....
Do you have TightTwatTest I could make use of ..?"
Yay, another use for a Sky remote |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm tight infact I work my pelvic floor muscle for 8 hours a day,I'm tighter than a Yorkshire man's wallet me. Infact I can only get an Ikea pencil in my fanny nowadays.
Perhaps I should take it down to 5 hours a day.
What about an argos pen? Think that's a tad wider than an Ikea pencil!!
Hmm good question...give me an hour. Anyone need anything for Argos?
A pen please
You may have to retrieve it though..."
Can you not shoot it out like those women do with ping pong balls???!! |
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"I'm tight infact I work my pelvic floor muscle for 8 hours a day,I'm tighter than a Yorkshire man's wallet me. Infact I can only get an Ikea pencil in my fanny nowadays.
Perhaps I should take it down to 5 hours a day.
What about an argos pen? Think that's a tad wider than an Ikea pencil!!"
a pen is mightier than the sword |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm tight infact I work my pelvic floor muscle for 8 hours a day,I'm tighter than a Yorkshire man's wallet me. Infact I can only get an Ikea pencil in my fanny nowadays.
Perhaps I should take it down to 5 hours a day.
What about an argos pen? Think that's a tad wider than an Ikea pencil!! a pen is mightier than the sword "
Christ, don't put a sword up there!! |
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"I'm tight infact I work my pelvic floor muscle for 8 hours a day,I'm tighter than a Yorkshire man's wallet me. Infact I can only get an Ikea pencil in my fanny nowadays.
Perhaps I should take it down to 5 hours a day.
What about an argos pen? Think that's a tad wider than an Ikea pencil!!
Hmm good question...give me an hour. Anyone need anything for Argos?
A pen please
You may have to retrieve it though...
Can you not shoot it out like those women do with ping pong balls???!!"
Not really no,because I've been clenching in for up to 8 hours a day once something is in there it's in there for good. My release muscle has packed in unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good point O.P. you know ....... i've never measured the capacity of mine...
Come to think of it ...... It's not how big it would go but how tight to start with .....
Do you have TightTwatTest I could make use of ..?
Yay, another use for a Sky remote "
Do you know how many germs are on a remote...toilet seat is cleaner...although, don't think I'd fit the toilet seat up me hole.
LUBE!!!
FB |
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"Being a problem solving kinda guy..this may take the lady and a friend ..
Lady who's foof were measuring does a headstand ..
Friend takes ruler and inserts until cervix this gives length..friend removes ruler
Friend takes a measuring jug filled with water and pours in..when the fluid reaches the labia we have cubic capacity ..
Then it's simple maths to figure out the rest.
Bigger the volume bigger the vagina
Or you ladies could just start inserting sky remotes."
F'nell  that better be a round edged soft plastic ruler |
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"Being a problem solving kinda guy..this may take the lady and a friend ..
Lady who's foof were measuring does a headstand ..
Friend takes ruler and inserts until cervix this gives length..friend removes ruler
Friend takes a measuring jug filled with water and pours in..when the fluid reaches the labia we have cubic capacity ..
Then it's simple maths to figure out the rest.
Bigger the volume bigger the vagina
Or you ladies could just start inserting sky remotes.
F'nell that better be a round edged soft plastic ruler"
F'nell I'm more worried about doing the headband. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You do realise that the vagina balloons when you are very aroused and especially just before climax. I could sleep with 2 guys with identically sized cocks and one could say I’m tight and the other not so tight and that could be because one had turned me on more than the other. |
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"Being a problem solving kinda guy..this may take the lady and a friend ..
Lady who's foof were measuring does a headstand ..
Friend takes ruler and inserts until cervix this gives length..friend removes ruler
Friend takes a measuring jug filled with water and pours in..when the fluid reaches the labia we have cubic capacity ..
Then it's simple maths to figure out the rest.
Bigger the volume bigger the vagina
Or you ladies could just start inserting sky remotes.
F'nell that better be a round edged soft plastic ruler
F'nell I'm more worried about doing the headband."
Messed that up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good point O.P. you know ....... i've never measured the capacity of mine...
Come to think of it ...... It's not how big it would go but how tight to start with .....
Do you have TightTwatTest I could make use of ..?"
That made me spit my tea out lol
(I never spit) |
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"If a guy doesn't measure up because his cock is smaller than advertised, it is easy to tell befire you actually start having sex. You can also tell him to fuck off for lying.
What about those women whose twats are that slack that it is like throwing a bratwurst through the Dartford tunnel? We don't find out until we bag up and pop the aul fella in.
Should a woman be more honest about her 'capacity'? Or will it still be the blokes fault for being too small."
Have you had a complaint? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If a guy doesn't measure up because his cock is smaller than advertised, it is easy to tell befire you actually start having sex. You can also tell him to fuck off for lying.
What about those women whose twats are that slack that it is like throwing a bratwurst through the Dartford tunnel? We don't find out until we bag up and pop the aul fella in.
Should a woman be more honest about her 'capacity'? Or will it still be the blokes fault for being too small.
Have you had a complaint?"
No but need to make a few |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isn’t hippos yawn more appropriate?
I like the philosophy of the Kama Sutra -
MAN is divided into three classes, viz. the hare man, the bull man, and the horse man, according to the size of his lingam.
Woman also, according to the depth of her yoni, is either a female deer, a mare, or a female elephant.
There are thus three equal unions between persons of corresponding dimensions, and there are six unequal unions, when the dimensions do not correspond, or nine in all..
So in all we’re all different and have perfect partners to look out for.
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By *WKinkMan
over a year ago
Bury |
"
Not really no,because I've been clenching in for up to 8 hours a day once something is in there it's in there for good. My release muscle has packed in unfortunately."
Holy cow! You’ve a pit bull for a vagina! |
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"
Not really no,because I've been clenching in for up to 8 hours a day once something is in there it's in there for good. My release muscle has packed in unfortunately.
Holy cow! You’ve a pit bull for a vagina! "
Yep,it would take a brave penis to go anywhere near there nowadays. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How the feck do ya measure ya inside lady garden ffs
I'm 51 and wouldn't have a clue!
No one has ever fallen in and no search party was ever launched to rescue em
Scratches head and worries I've got another thing to worry about that I didn't even know was a thing that I should be worrying about
"
 |
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By *ymaleMan
over a year ago
nr Bradford |
"If a guy doesn't measure up because his cock is smaller than advertised, it is easy to tell befire you actually start having sex. You can also tell him to fuck off for lying.
What about those women whose twats are that slack that it is like throwing a bratwurst through the Dartford tunnel? We don't find out until we bag up and pop the aul fella in.
Should a woman be more honest about her 'capacity'? Or will it still be the blokes fault for being too small."
Fuck me, is this some sort of new extreme sport?! Marks for trying fella, assuming getting torn a new arsehole is the aim of the game! |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"Maybe it’s just me, but how would I know that I have one like the “Dartford Tunnel”, unless someone actually told me...
Bad sex isn’t generally one persons fault alone."
If there's a toll booth at the entrance then there a strong chance that it is; confirmed further by lorries driving out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I quite like the feeling of a well fucked baggy cunt. I sometimes use a really big toy on my FWB, then after she’s cum/gushed, it feels amazing to fuck. |
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"You do realise that the vagina balloons when you are very aroused and especially just before climax. I could sleep with 2 guys with identically sized cocks and one could say I’m tight and the other not so tight and that could be because one had turned me on more than the other. "
Aha I've heard this referred too as a widey before, v true |
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"I quite like the feeling of a well fucked baggy cunt. I sometimes use a really big toy on my FWB, then after she’s cum/gushed, it feels amazing to fuck. "
Baggy cunt,my don't you just love this place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a guy doesn't measure up because his cock is smaller than advertised, it is easy to tell befire you actually start having sex. You can also tell him to fuck off for lying.
What about those women whose twats are that slack that it is like throwing a bratwurst through the Dartford tunnel? We don't find out until we bag up and pop the aul fella in.
Should a woman be more honest about her 'capacity'? Or will it still be the blokes fault for being too small."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How the feck do ya measure ya inside lady garden ffs
I'm 51 and wouldn't have a clue!
No one has ever fallen in and no search party was ever launched to rescue em
Scratches head and worries I've got another thing to worry about that I didn't even know was a thing that I should be worrying about
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I quite like the feeling of a well fucked baggy cunt. I sometimes use a really big toy on my FWB, then after she’s cum/gushed, it feels amazing to fuck. "
You have a way with words ... “baggy cunt” lovely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I once met a woman on here with a twat like a magicians sleeve. She never told me before we met. To be honest I couldn’t even touch the sides. She later told me her ex use to fist her twat that’s why it was so slack. But didn’t spoil a good meet . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I quite like the feeling of a well fucked baggy cunt. I sometimes use a really big toy on my FWB, then after she’s cum/gushed, it feels amazing to fuck.
You have a way with words ... “baggy cunt” lovely "
How is baggy cunt any worse than anything anyone else has said on here?! I thought being crude was the general tone of this thread! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy doesn't measure up because his cock is smaller than advertised, it is easy to tell befire you actually start having sex. You can also tell him to fuck off for lying.
What about those women whose twats are that slack that it is like throwing a bratwurst through the Dartford tunnel? We don't find out until we bag up and pop the aul fella in.
Should a woman be more honest about her 'capacity'? Or will it still be the blokes fault for being too small."
Personally it’s about stimulating a woman’s mind, no way do I ever feel I could not measure up to a woman.......my cock is not the biggest but I know 80 + % of the work can be done without even touching a woman ..............
love the women with so called dartford tunnel pussys..........the ones men slag off an call shit bunk ups ..... coz they couldn’t stimulate the girls mind......... then slag her off for having a baggy pussy..........coz he couldn’t make her cum or she layed there an had to tell him where her clit was ...........
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"I once met a woman on here with a twat like a magicians sleeve. She never told me before we met. To be honest I couldn’t even touch the sides. She later told me her ex use to fist her twat that’s why it was so slack. But didn’t spoil a good meet ."
You have a small penis don't you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once met a woman on here with a twat like a magicians sleeve. She never told me before we met. To be honest I couldn’t even touch the sides. She later told me her ex use to fist her twat that’s why it was so slack. But didn’t spoil a good meet ."
Surprised all her insides didnt fall out. God should have invented elastic twats.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I quite like the feeling of a well fucked baggy cunt. I sometimes use a really big toy on my FWB, then after she’s cum/gushed, it feels amazing to fuck.
You have a way with words ... “baggy cunt” lovely
How is baggy cunt any worse than anything anyone else has said on here?! I thought being crude was the general tone of this thread! "
You’re was the only one that stood out to me  It doesn’t have the same humourous undertones as the other references, could just be me though |
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By *nestWoman
over a year ago
Okehampton |
"How the feck do ya measure ya inside lady garden ffs
I'm 51 and wouldn't have a clue!
No one has ever fallen in and no search party was ever launched to rescue em
Scratches head and worries I've got another thing to worry about that I didn't even know was a thing that I should be worrying about
"
Don’t let this ridiculous post make you doubt yourself. |
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"If a guy doesn't measure up because his cock is smaller than advertised, it is easy to tell befire you actually start having sex. You can also tell him to fuck off for lying.
What about those women whose twats are that slack that it is like throwing a bratwurst through the Dartford tunnel? We don't find out until we bag up and pop the aul fella in.
Should a woman be more honest about her 'capacity'? Or will it still be the blokes fault for being too small."
This man needs to get out more ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m average size thank you, not my fault her twat was like the Mersey tunnel lol
Yeah yeah we believe ya.
Couldn’t care less if you do or don’t .
Ooh don't be touchy now."
Not touching at all , just stating a fact darlin |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m average size thank you, not my fault her twat was like the Mersey tunnel lol
Yeah yeah we believe ya.
Couldn’t care less if you do or don’t .
Ooh don't be touchy now.
Not touching the sides at all , just stating a fact darlin"
FTFY |
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"I’m average size thank you, not my fault her twat was like the Mersey tunnel lol
Yeah yeah we believe ya.
Couldn’t care less if you do or don’t .
Ooh don't be touchy now.
Not touching at all , just stating a fact darlin"
Alright sweetcheeks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If a guy doesn't measure up because his cock is smaller than advertised, it is easy to tell befire you actually start having sex. You can also tell him to fuck off for lying.
What about those women whose twats are that slack that it is like throwing a bratwurst through the Dartford tunnel? We don't find out until we bag up and pop the aul fella in.
Should a woman be more honest about her 'capacity'? Or will it still be the blokes fault for being too small.
This man needs to get out more ha ha "
You know I'm a twat from my vanilla profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best way to test how tight you are ladies is by listening to how he moans as he puts it in if he does moan rather loudly btw enjoy the next 2 minutes hahaha xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You guys realise a vagina is a muscle. Designed to open and retract ?"
Didn’t you know? This isn’t the place to try and speak sense!
I tried it, they somehow don’t understand this.
I think it makes feel some better (the ones who get all uptight about women wanting VWE) trying to convince themselves that any woman who fucks a VWE gets a wizards sleeve overnight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You guys realise a vagina is a muscle. Designed to open and retract ?
Didn’t you know? This isn’t the place to try and speak sense!
I tried it, they somehow don’t understand this.
I think it makes feel some better (the ones who get all uptight about women wanting VWE) trying to convince themselves that any woman who fucks a VWE gets a wizards sleeve overnight. "
Agree. They’ve obviously missed the point that some women also like to slowly wank and deepthroat a large cock before fucking. Can’t to that with a little one can you lol |
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