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Drifted or dissed JW's
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"Interesting topic.
I spent many years in a very strict Brethren church.
In contrast I feel no shame whatsoever."
I was bought up around them, not in them (i.e. extended family). Even from a very young age, I was never going to be following their ideas. I remember debating sex before marriage with them when I was about 12 and being distinctly unimpressed with their logic, not a feeling that has dissolved over time. |
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"Interesting topic.
I spent many years in a very strict Brethren church.
In contrast I feel no shame whatsoever."
Wouldn't say I feel shame. More of a question in my mind, should we be doing this? Something like that. |
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"Interesting topic.
I spent many years in a very strict Brethren church.
In contrast I feel no shame whatsoever.
Wouldn't say I feel shame. More of a question in my mind, should we be doing this? Something like that. "
Shame was maybe the wrong word to use but I think I understand what you mean. |
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"Interesting topic.
I spent many years in a very strict Brethren church.
In contrast I feel no shame whatsoever.
Wouldn't say I feel shame. More of a question in my mind, should we be doing this? Something like that. "
I think it's a fact that the majority of humans are not naturally monogamous. You can find highly valid reasons why human societies turned to monogamy. Most those reasons became OBSOLETE when birth control became sophisticated. Cultures change at the pace that continents move, so we have a culture that demands monogamy whilst most peoples neurobiology wants non-monogamy. |
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"Interesting topic.
I spent many years in a very strict Brethren church.
In contrast I feel no shame whatsoever.
Wouldn't say I feel shame. More of a question in my mind, should we be doing this? Something like that.
I think it's a fact that the majority of humans are not naturally monogamous. You can find highly valid reasons why human societies turned to monogamy. Most those reasons became OBSOLETE when birth control became sophisticated. Cultures change at the pace that continents move, so we have a culture that demands monogamy whilst most peoples neurobiology wants non-monogamy. "
True |
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My mum converted when I was very young and I was dragged along on door knocking expeditions, Tuesday night bible readings and church twice a week. I hated it. I was a very stubborn child and openly displayed my distaste. I was already deaf. I didn’t need my childhood completely ruining. It ended with her being excommunicated after an incident in church (which was absolutely bloody aces) when I was 13. All the old JW dears still to this day think I’m the devil and pray for my poor mother. I don’t regret a thing. |
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"Any ex JW's on here. I was brought up as one, drifted away in my late 20's. Frustratingly still get the occasional twinge of guilt. "
What exactly do you feel guilty about if you don't mind me asking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was bought up in a very religious family....
I was considered a very bad child because I asked my Bible school teacher if Adam and Eve practiced having sex with their children to populate the earth.......
I was thrown out of church when I bought in a article on carbon dating of dinosaur fossils to Bible school....
I was such an embarrassment to my family... I never had to go to church since the age of 7.... |
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"Any ex JW's on here. I was brought up as one, drifted away in my late 20's. Frustratingly still get the occasional twinge of guilt.
What exactly do you feel guilty about if you don't mind me asking."
Not so much guilt. Have recently started to understand how being brought up in a cult telling me that you should be monogamous makes me at times question if being swingers is healthy for our marriage ( it is btw these are just momentary thoughts) looking to connect with others in the lifestyle that have been through the same. |
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"Interesting topic.
I spent many years in a very strict Brethren church.
In contrast I feel no shame whatsoever.
Wouldn't say I feel shame. More of a question in my mind, should we be doing this? Something like that.
I think it's a fact that the majority of humans are not naturally monogamous. You can find highly valid reasons why human societies turned to monogamy. Most those reasons became OBSOLETE when birth control became sophisticated. Cultures change at the pace that continents move, so we have a culture that demands monogamy whilst most peoples neurobiology wants non-monogamy. "
This! If it was natural to be monogamous then why do so many have affairs! Monogamy is only a recent practice in human history and it is based on religious beliefs. |
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"Any ex JW's on here. I was brought up as one, drifted away in my late 20's. Frustratingly still get the occasional twinge of guilt.
What exactly do you feel guilty about if you don't mind me asking.
Not so much guilt. Have recently started to understand how being brought up in a cult telling me that you should be monogamous makes me at times question if being swingers is healthy for our marriage ( it is btw these are just momentary thoughts) looking to connect with others in the lifestyle that have been through the same. "
Well I'm not religious and never have been so I can't offer an opinion from that perspective, but the fact that you refer to the JW's as a cult seems to indicate just how little you think of them and their teachings. Think the best thing to do is remind yourself that just because your parents believed it that doesn't mean your obliged to. As for whats healthy for your marriage I would say if it makes you both happy then it's healthy.
I appreciate this advice was unsolicited so if it's unwelcome I apologise. |
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By *bwitchedWoman
over a year ago
Batley, West Yorkshire |
"Any ex JW's on here. I was brought up as one, drifted away in my late 20's. Frustratingly still get the occasional twinge of guilt. "
Yes, me. I was brought up as one also but started drifting in my late teens when I started questioning certain things and then finally quit at 21. Wasn't an easy decision at the time as i was aware I caused a lot of hurt for my parents, but I haven't regretted that decision. We may not be monogamous but we don't lie and we don't cheat, so I don't think that there is anything to feel guilty about x |
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"Interesting topic.
I spent many years in a very strict Brethren church.
In contrast I feel no shame whatsoever.
Wouldn't say I feel shame. More of a question in my mind, should we be doing this? Something like that.
I think it's a fact that the majority of humans are not naturally monogamous. You can find highly valid reasons why human societies turned to monogamy. Most those reasons became OBSOLETE when birth control became sophisticated. Cultures change at the pace that continents move, so we have a culture that demands monogamy whilst most peoples neurobiology wants non-monogamy. This! If it was natural to be monogamous then why do so many have affairs! Monogamy is only a recent practice in human history and it is based on religious beliefs."
I wouldn't even say it's based on religious beliefs as polygamy is the dominant social structure in history and endorsed by most religions at some point in time. Monogamy was a practical necessity when birth control wasn't available / reliable since property rights and inheretence are really high priority issues in society. |
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"Any ex JW's on here. I was brought up as one, drifted away in my late 20's. Frustratingly still get the occasional twinge of guilt.
What exactly do you feel guilty about if you don't mind me asking.
Not so much guilt. Have recently started to understand how being brought up in a cult telling me that you should be monogamous makes me at times question if being swingers is healthy for our marriage ( it is btw these are just momentary thoughts) looking to connect with others in the lifestyle that have been through the same.
Well I'm not religious and never have been so I can't offer an opinion from that perspective, but the fact that you refer to the JW's as a cult seems to indicate just how little you think of them and their teachings. Think the best thing to do is remind yourself that just because your parents believed it that doesn't mean your obliged to. As for whats healthy for your marriage I would say if it makes you both happy then it's healthy.
I appreciate this advice was unsolicited so if it's unwelcome I apologise. "
Advice appreciated, thank you. Yes it makes us happy! I was indoctrinated for so long. It casts it's shadow over me occasionally and I'm trying to shake it off by talking with others who have been through similar. |
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"Any ex JW's on here. I was brought up as one, drifted away in my late 20's. Frustratingly still get the occasional twinge of guilt.
Yes, me. I was brought up as one also but started drifting in my late teens when I started questioning certain things and then finally quit at 21. Wasn't an easy decision at the time as i was aware I caused a lot of hurt for my parents, but I haven't regretted that decision. We may not be monogamous but we don't lie and we don't cheat, so I don't think that there is anything to feel guilty about x "
We are both so open and honest with each other. No regrets at all. I was in it for longer, it's not guilt so much. More about beleiving something for so long that despite knowing better now it still, occasionally makes me question myself. |
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