FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Swinging and the selective man
Swinging and the selective man
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I wonder if there's a push and pull between women's attraction to selective men and swinging. It strikes me that if you asked most women how selective their ideal man would be she'd say he's the kind of guy who walks into a room filled with relatively attractive women but totally blanks them all in his focused pursuit of only her. In short, he doesn't just fancy 1 in every 50 or 1 in every 100 women. He fancies 1 in a million. That's ridiculously highly selective. But that appears to be what women find attractive in a guy.
So how does that impact on women's views of swinging men? When your attractive man walks into a room with 50 women in and all of a sudden just coincidentally happens to find most of them desirable... does that take the sheen off him a little bit in your eyes? Maybe he's not so selective after all?
Apologies if this seems like a leading or loaded question. But I thought it was a curious paradox between one of the key components of attraction for women and swinging. I hope it makes for an interesting read  |
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"I wonder if there's a push and pull between women's attraction to selective men and swinging. It strikes me that if you asked most women how selective their ideal man would be she'd say he's the kind of guy who walks into a room filled with relatively attractive women but totally blanks them all in his focused pursuit of only her. In short, he doesn't just fancy 1 in every 50 or 1 in every 100 women. He fancies 1 in a million. That's ridiculously highly selective. But that appears to be what women find attractive in a guy.
So how does that impact on women's views of swinging men? When your attractive man walks into a room with 50 women in and all of a sudden just coincidentally happens to find most of them desirable... does that take the sheen off him a little bit in your eyes? "
Yup.
I like to be pursued, men who do that with one woman at a time reap the rewards I think. |
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For guys, being overly selective or focusing on one girl at a time is really ineffective. The competition (the number of other single guys) alone, stacks the odds against us. The average guy on an average dating site will only get a response to about 5-10% of the messages they send out, and most of those responses won't materialise to anything.
I think both men and women would want to be the sole focus of someone's lust, and I think equally, both men and women can find it somewhat of a turn off if someone seems to be approaching too many people, but for guys particularly, I think it's often necessary for them to approach more that one at a time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For guys, being overly selective or focusing on one girl at a time is really ineffective. The competition (the number of other single guys) alone, stacks the odds against us. The average guy on an average dating site will only get a response to about 5-10% of the messages they send out, and most of those responses won't materialise to anything.
I think both men and women would want to be the sole focus of someone's lust, and I think equally, both men and women can find it somewhat of a turn off if someone seems to be approaching too many people, but for guys particularly, I think it's often necessary for them to approach more that one at a time."
I think that argument is a false economy. When men aren't so true to themselves and selective it backfires on them and can make them less attractive in a woman's eyes. I think guys who enjoy greater success do so because they are more focused on one goal and achieving it than spreading their odds and playing the numbers game. But then I know a lot of guys would swear by the numbers game  |
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"For guys, being overly selective or focusing on one girl at a time is really ineffective. The competition (the number of other single guys) alone, stacks the odds against us. The average guy on an average dating site will only get a response to about 5-10% of the messages they send out, and most of those responses won't materialise to anything.
I think both men and women would want to be the sole focus of someone's lust, and I think equally, both men and women can find it somewhat of a turn off if someone seems to be approaching too many people, but for guys particularly, I think it's often necessary for them to approach more that one at a time.
I think that argument is a false economy. When men aren't so true to themselves and selective it backfires on them and can make them less attractive in a woman's eyes. I think guys who enjoy greater success do so because they are more focused on one goal and achieving it than spreading their odds and playing the numbers game. But then I know a lot of guys would swear by the numbers game "
You can still play the numbers game and be true to yourself. Unless there is only literally one profile one here that you're interested in. But before you can think about focusing on one person, you need to first start speaking to one person, and to do that, you might have to message quite a few others without responce first. Which is where the numbers game comes into play. Focusing your attention on one person is a good thing, but I wouldn't advise it from the outset, wait until you get some assurance that it's going somewhere first. |
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By *ait88Man
over a year ago
Plymouth |
It all may depend on what they’re looking for.
I’m here looking for two kinds of sexual activity. One is gangbangs/greedy girls events, and I’m completely unselective of the girls participating. The other is an FB relationship, and I send messages to maybe only one or two women per year.
But how can women on this site who receive a message from me, determine whether it’s part of an advertising campaign, or precisely targeted? And will they care? They may well have similar criteria to me. Hopefully we shall see.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want. "
You're right... there's something cranky here in that most women like to imagine the man interested in them is highly selective and yet the minute a guy walks in with lots of women hanging off his arm it seems they'd prefer him.
I wonder if this is a quantity or quality thing. Are women attracted to a guy simply because he's surrounded by women? Or is it because he's surrounded by attractive women?
Selection vs. competition hmmm curious |
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want. "
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for. |
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for."
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else. |
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I think men are more attracted to women who appear not to be attracted to them. If a guy is surrounded by women hanging off his every word he'll zero in on the woman sitting at the bar with her back to him, who refuses to give him her number the first time he asks for it and if she agrees to a date makes it for at least a week ahead.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just because a man finds more than one woman in a room, does that make him less selective?
I guess it depends what he's selecting them for. If it's purely for sex I expect a man to find many women that meet his selection criteria. If it's looking for a relationship I'd expect less so. As swinging is largely about the sex I have no issues with the guys I find attractive finding other women attractive. Why would I? |
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"I think men are more attracted to women who appear not to be attracted to them. If a guy is surrounded by women hanging off his every word he'll zero in on the woman sitting at the bar with her back to him, who refuses to give him her number the first time he asks for it and if she agrees to a date makes it for at least a week ahead.
"
I think you're close, if a woman shows zero interest then most men that aren't idiots will give up quickly. If a woman shows enough interest, but isn't overly keen then that's the sweet spot in the early days. |
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"Just because a man finds more than one woman in a room, does that make him less selective?
I guess it depends what he's selecting them for. If it's purely for sex I expect a man to find many women that meet his selection criteria. If it's looking for a relationship I'd expect less so. As swinging is largely about the sex I have no issues with the guys I find attractive finding other women attractive. Why would I? "
Yep 
Swinging and dating aren't the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my experience the successful men on here, and elsewhere, are those who know how to make a woman feel valued and special, whether we're talking swinging, NSA or dating, before, during and after the pursuit and conquest. It's natural for men to be attracted to a wide range of women; 1 in 50 or 100 would be very uncommon (that's about the number of men I find attractive and I think I am quite unusual in this scene). I would guess one in 5 or 10 would be nearer the mark for most men. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else. "
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I quite like it when ladies are attracted to the man I know I'm going to sleep with!! "
Would you prefer him to turn them down or fuck them? Or are you indifferent on that issue? |
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"I think men are more attracted to women who appear not to be attracted to them. If a guy is surrounded by women hanging off his every word he'll zero in on the woman sitting at the bar with her back to him, who refuses to give him her number the first time he asks for it and if she agrees to a date makes it for at least a week ahead.
I think you're close, if a woman shows zero interest then most men that aren't idiots will give up quickly. If a woman shows enough interest, but isn't overly keen then that's the sweet spot in the early days. "
I posted that kind of tongue in cheek. Maybe its me who's out of step. I genuinely don't go in for what I see as game playing. If I liked a guy, I liked him and if he seemed to like me just played it all by ear. If he gave any whiff of not being interested (genuinely or in a strategic way) I was off. It's possible that I'm too simple or straightforward in my approach to relationships.
I was the woman at the bar with my back to the guy it would either be because I didn't find him attractive or if I did because I was confident enough not to believe I needed to compete. If he asked for my number I'd give it to him first time if I wanted to meet him again.
Maybe I should cultivate a more complicated approach
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just because a man finds more than one woman in a room, does that make him less selective?
I guess it depends what he's selecting them for. If it's purely for sex I expect a man to find many women that meet his selection criteria. If it's looking for a relationship I'd expect less so. As swinging is largely about the sex I have no issues with the guys I find attractive finding other women attractive. Why would I?
Yep
Swinging and dating aren't the same. "
I like this as it feels true to me. But I wonder how many people would like the idea of being good enough to fuck but not good enough to date? So maybe it's a view that's best not admitting to too much  |
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy "
I really don't find that - I usually totally write off men that are with other women. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think men are more attracted to women who appear not to be attracted to them. If a guy is surrounded by women hanging off his every word he'll zero in on the woman sitting at the bar with her back to him, who refuses to give him her number the first time he asks for it and if she agrees to a date makes it for at least a week ahead.
I think you're close, if a woman shows zero interest then most men that aren't idiots will give up quickly. If a woman shows enough interest, but isn't overly keen then that's the sweet spot in the early days.
I posted that kind of tongue in cheek. Maybe its me who's out of step. I genuinely don't go in for what I see as game playing. If I liked a guy, I liked him and if he seemed to like me just played it all by ear. If he gave any whiff of not being interested (genuinely or in a strategic way) I was off. It's possible that I'm too simple or straightforward in my approach to relationships.
I was the woman at the bar with my back to the guy it would either be because I didn't find him attractive or if I did because I was confident enough not to believe I needed to compete. If he asked for my number I'd give it to him first time if I wanted to meet him again.
Maybe I should cultivate a more complicated approach
"
Thank goodness it was tongue in cheek because it didn't ring true to me at all |
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy "
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont really understand the post. Surely if your in a swinging club your looking to find a variety of people attractive if not whats the point in being there"
It's about the paradox... if women find selective men more attractive than indiscriminate men... what happens when they go to a swinging club and find maybe their man isn't really all that selective after all? Do they find their man less attractive? I don't know. I'm just asking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The way I can put it is, I don't mind if a man I plan to meet is talking to other women on here as that's the nature of this site, but when we meet I want his attention to be on me, not wandering off to other women he talks to.
Though if I talk to someone and we're planning an intimate meet, odds are that they're currently the only person I plan to have that kind of meet with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont really understand the post. Surely if your in a swinging club your looking to find a variety of people attractive if not whats the point in being there
It's about the paradox... if women find selective men more attractive than indiscriminate men... what happens when they go to a swinging club and find maybe their man isn't really all that selective after all? Do they find their man less attractive? I don't know. I'm just asking "
It's all about the man's attitude. Some rare men have the skill of making you feel unique and wildly desirable even in a club environment |
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"I dont really understand the post. Surely if your in a swinging club your looking to find a variety of people attractive if not whats the point in being there
It's about the paradox... if women find selective men more attractive than indiscriminate men... what happens when they go to a swinging club and find maybe their man isn't really all that selective after all? Do they find their man less attractive? I don't know. I'm just asking "
no i wouldnt find him less attractive if he found more people attractive. I really dont follow unless someone is expected to go to a swingers club and sit by the womans side all night and not shag anyone else |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them. "
You me and frisky all seem to disagree haha I just think happy people are naturally attractive. Last night I was out in town practicing good eye contact and I couldn't believe the amount of really quite flirtatious eye contact I was getting off women who were with a man. Hmm maybe that's a different topic there haha Oh well I'm just improvising as I go along here |
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them.
You me and frisky all seem to disagree haha I just think happy people are naturally attractive. Last night I was out in town practicing good eye contact and I couldn't believe the amount of really quite flirtatious eye contact I was getting off women who were with a man. Hmm maybe that's a different topic there haha Oh well I'm just improvising as I go along here "
Dude if i catch you doing that to my wife then shits gonna get ugly  |
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"Just because a man finds more than one woman in a room, does that make him less selective?
I guess it depends what he's selecting them for. If it's purely for sex I expect a man to find many women that meet his selection criteria. If it's looking for a relationship I'd expect less so. As swinging is largely about the sex I have no issues with the guys I find attractive finding other women attractive. Why would I?
Yep
Swinging and dating aren't the same.
I like this as it feels true to me. But I wonder how many people would like the idea of being good enough to fuck but not good enough to date? So maybe it's a view that's best not admitting to too much "
I think that some are unable to realise that having sex without dating or being in love doesn't in any way lessen one as a person. If someone thinks I am somehow not suitable as a long term or social partner because I enjoy casual sex I feel the problem is all theirs. I would say that though wouldn't I, my experience of love and dating is the opposite. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont really understand the post. Surely if your in a swinging club your looking to find a variety of people attractive if not whats the point in being there
It's about the paradox... if women find selective men more attractive than indiscriminate men... what happens when they go to a swinging club and find maybe their man isn't really all that selective after all? Do they find their man less attractive? I don't know. I'm just asking
It's all about the man's attitude. Some rare men have the skill of making you feel unique and wildly desirable even in a club environment "
I think that's by far the best approach to clubs and (pulling on my suggestion that happy couples exude a degree of natural attractiveness) I find that very attractive in others too |
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All im concerned with when i meet a man is that we give each other our undived attention and makes me feel special
Couldnt care less what he does when he leaves here. In a swinging club i couldnt care less what he does as long as he checks in with me once in awhile.
Dont know if that answers your question |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them.
You me and frisky all seem to disagree haha I just think happy people are naturally attractive. Last night I was out in town practicing good eye contact and I couldn't believe the amount of really quite flirtatious eye contact I was getting off women who were with a man. Hmm maybe that's a different topic there haha Oh well I'm just improvising as I go along here
Dude if i catch you doing that to my wife then shits gonna get ugly "
Sometimes you lock eyes with a girl in passing and genuinely don't notice the partner until you know you've been caught.
It's all innocent  |
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them.
You me and frisky all seem to disagree haha "
Actually not quite - because I think I may be in the minority, I've noticed a lot of women have no compunction when trying to steal someone else's fella. I do believe other people's relationships should be respected, but in addition to that I have an aversion to men who belong to someone else, so it's easy for me to just not be interested.
Funnily enough I was the one who just sat at the bar and let the fellas do all the work lol! I got hit on by a lot of bartenders meanwhile haha.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them.
You me and frisky all seem to disagree haha I just think happy people are naturally attractive. Last night I was out in town practicing good eye contact and I couldn't believe the amount of really quite flirtatious eye contact I was getting off women who were with a man. Hmm maybe that's a different topic there haha Oh well I'm just improvising as I go along here
Dude if i catch you doing that to my wife then shits gonna get ugly "
Some women get hypnotised and just stare and stare... and their man is right there with them, assuming she's just staring off into space when she's actually having an oddly intimate moment with me half way across the room, smiling knowingly at each other. I can imagine Ada would be good at it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is a different world. I don’t mind how many ladies a gentleman is chatting too. How would I know? None of my business either really!
But, I do get guys who ask me those questions! Want to know how many people I’ve slept with. Ask if I’d be his gf after one night together etc. It’s happened lots. Believe it or not 
If after we met, he takes his time saying hello again or asking to see me I decline though. I’d have partially forgotten any conversation etc we had and don’t fancy starting over. The moment has passed.
A regular would be amazing! But when I’ve had that in the past we saw each other mostly every week. Sometimes 2 times a week! Seems hard to find anymore :/ |
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"All im concerned with when i meet a man is that we give each other our undived attention and makes me feel special
Couldnt care less what he does when he leaves here. In a swinging club i couldnt care less what he does as long as he checks in with me once in awhile.
Dont know if that answers your question"
Same.
Though I had to dump a so-called submissive after he begged me to take him to a club, went to get us drinks but disappeared. Found him while later in the middle of an orgy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have you ever been to a swinging club with a woman op and if so what did you do"
I went with my ex but that was different. I may go to one soon with a lovely friend I'm making on here. Personally, I'd let the woman drive. Does that answer anything for you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because a man finds more than one woman in a room, does that make him less selective?
I guess it depends what he's selecting them for. If it's purely for sex I expect a man to find many women that meet his selection criteria. If it's looking for a relationship I'd expect less so. As swinging is largely about the sex I have no issues with the guys I find attractive finding other women attractive. Why would I?
Yep
Swinging and dating aren't the same.
I like this as it feels true to me. But I wonder how many people would like the idea of being good enough to fuck but not good enough to date? So maybe it's a view that's best not admitting to too much "
But isn't that what swinging is? There's a hell of a lot of fuck worthy guys. The beauty of swinging is I don't have to worry about whether they are relationship material. I don't see anything wrong with that viewpoint personally and certainly wouldn't be offended if guys I meet think the same. In fact I don't want them to want a relationship with me. I think your question more applies to those singles looking for more than swinging offers. |
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"Just because a man finds more than one woman in a room, does that make him less selective?
I guess it depends what he's selecting them for. If it's purely for sex I expect a man to find many women that meet his selection criteria. If it's looking for a relationship I'd expect less so. As swinging is largely about the sex I have no issues with the guys I find attractive finding other women attractive. Why would I?
Yep
Swinging and dating aren't the same.
I like this as it feels true to me. But I wonder how many people would like the idea of being good enough to fuck but not good enough to date? So maybe it's a view that's best not admitting to too much
But isn't that what swinging is? There's a hell of a lot of fuck worthy guys. The beauty of swinging is I don't have to worry about whether they are relationship material. I don't see anything wrong with that viewpoint personally and certainly wouldn't be offended if guys I meet think the same. In fact I don't want them to want a relationship with me. I think your question more applies to those singles looking for more than swinging offers. "
someone who gets it. I thought i was alone then |
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"Have you ever been to a swinging club with a woman op and if so what did you do
I went with my ex but that was different. I may go to one soon with a lovely friend I'm making on here. Personally, I'd let the woman drive. Does that answer anything for you? "
and what are you planning on doing when you go |
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them.
You me and frisky all seem to disagree haha I just think happy people are naturally attractive. Last night I was out in town practicing good eye contact and I couldn't believe the amount of really quite flirtatious eye contact I was getting off women who were with a man. Hmm maybe that's a different topic there haha Oh well I'm just improvising as I go along here
Dude if i catch you doing that to my wife then shits gonna get ugly
Some women get hypnotised and just stare and stare... and their man is right there with them, assuming she's just staring off into space when she's actually having an oddly intimate moment with me half way across the room, smiling knowingly at each other. I can imagine Ada would be good at it "
Alright biggie  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them.
You me and frisky all seem to disagree haha I just think happy people are naturally attractive. Last night I was out in town practicing good eye contact and I couldn't believe the amount of really quite flirtatious eye contact I was getting off women who were with a man. Hmm maybe that's a different topic there haha Oh well I'm just improvising as I go along here
Dude if i catch you doing that to my wife then shits gonna get ugly
Some women get hypnotised and just stare and stare... and their man is right there with them, assuming she's just staring off into space when she's actually having an oddly intimate moment with me half way across the room, smiling knowingly at each other. I can imagine Ada would be good at it
Alright biggie "
.
Staring competition! |
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them.
You me and frisky all seem to disagree haha I just think happy people are naturally attractive. Last night I was out in town practicing good eye contact and I couldn't believe the amount of really quite flirtatious eye contact I was getting off women who were with a man. Hmm maybe that's a different topic there haha Oh well I'm just improvising as I go along here
Dude if i catch you doing that to my wife then shits gonna get ugly
Some women get hypnotised and just stare and stare... and their man is right there with them, assuming she's just staring off into space when she's actually having an oddly intimate moment with me half way across the room, smiling knowingly at each other. I can imagine Ada would be good at it
Alright biggie
.
Staring competition! "
Sometimes your words do hypnotize me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you ever been to a swinging club with a woman op and if so what did you do
I went with my ex but that was different. I may go to one soon with a lovely friend I'm making on here. Personally, I'd let the woman drive. Does that answer anything for you? and what are you planning on doing when you go"
I'm not planning on going. It's not really my idea of a date... taking a woman I fancy to a place where she can get fucked by other guys. It doesn't strike me as particularly engendering romantic feelings... to state the obvious
But if I date a woman who wants to take me to one I'd go in very much a supportive role. I certainly don't think I'd want to test her by fucking another woman in front of her at that early stage in a relationship. But if she was bi I'd happily join in. I guess I'd just be really careful to put her at the centre of the experience |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth - it puts me off if women are buzzing round a man like flies on shit lol, I think it is simply that he has traits they're all looking for.
In my early twenties i might go 3 months single, 3 month relationship, eat, sleep, fuck and repeat. Women's interest in me were like buses. When I was single, I had to chase them to the moon and back. The only times women have ever come onto me are when I've been in a relationship with someone else.
I think both sexes find happiness an aphrodisiac. When we see a couple in love they often glow with an allure that's deeply attractive. What we actually want is that love. But we can get easily led into thinking it's the person who we're attracted to and not simply their state of beautiful vibrancy
I think there's a massive gender difference here though. I've never known many men who look at a woman in a relationship and think they can steal her away, the fall out is very unattractive. Women seem less put off by it. Probably because it's unlikely to end in a physical fight for them.
You me and frisky all seem to disagree haha I just think happy people are naturally attractive. Last night I was out in town practicing good eye contact and I couldn't believe the amount of really quite flirtatious eye contact I was getting off women who were with a man. Hmm maybe that's a different topic there haha Oh well I'm just improvising as I go along here
Dude if i catch you doing that to my wife then shits gonna get ugly
Some women get hypnotised and just stare and stare... and their man is right there with them, assuming she's just staring off into space when she's actually having an oddly intimate moment with me half way across the room, smiling knowingly at each other. I can imagine Ada would be good at it
Alright biggie
.
Staring competition!
Sometimes your words do hypnotize me"
Is this Chris or Ada? Because if it's Chris I'm going to have to take a long hot shower just to scrub all that bi flirting off me |
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"Have you ever been to a swinging club with a woman op and if so what did you do
I went with my ex but that was different. I may go to one soon with a lovely friend I'm making on here. Personally, I'd let the woman drive. Does that answer anything for you? and what are you planning on doing when you go
I'm not planning on going. It's not really my idea of a date... taking a woman I fancy to a place where she can get fucked by other guys. It doesn't strike me as particularly engendering romantic feelings... to state the obvious
But if I date a woman who wants to take me to one I'd go in very much a supportive role. I certainly don't think I'd want to test her by fucking another woman in front of her at that early stage in a relationship. But if she was bi I'd happily join in. I guess I'd just be really careful to put her at the centre of the experience "
so your on here to date then and not swing? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you ever been to a swinging club with a woman op and if so what did you do
I went with my ex but that was different. I may go to one soon with a lovely friend I'm making on here. Personally, I'd let the woman drive. Does that answer anything for you? and what are you planning on doing when you go
I'm not planning on going. It's not really my idea of a date... taking a woman I fancy to a place where she can get fucked by other guys. It doesn't strike me as particularly engendering romantic feelings... to state the obvious
But if I date a woman who wants to take me to one I'd go in very much a supportive role. I certainly don't think I'd want to test her by fucking another woman in front of her at that early stage in a relationship. But if she was bi I'd happily join in. I guess I'd just be really careful to put her at the centre of the experience so your on here to date then and not swing?"
Yeah I think I am now. I'm still open to maybe meeting a couple or hotwife and giving that a try and I'm also open to meeting a married woman for something short term. But I'm pretty much using Fab now in the same way I'd use a dating site... a dating site for women who see sex as an important part of a relationship, whether that be monogamous or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want. "
I think that's a myth. Maybe with teenagers, but I had my own taste that was completely different to all my friends. Still don't hanker for the popular boys. |
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"The more relevant factor is how many of the other women in the room fancy him. Most women are neurologically programmed to want what other women want.
I think that's a myth. Maybe with teenagers, but I had my own taste that was completely different to all my friends. Still don't hanker for the popular boys."
when we started secondary school if a lad asked you out you would seek your friends approval. A lad asked me out and they didnt like him and i went out with him anyway they took the piss for abit and that was the last time i gave a flying fuck what anyone else thought
I was 12 |
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"
Alright biggie
.
Staring competition!
Sometimes your words do hypnotize me
Is this Chris or Ada? Because if it's Chris I'm going to have to take a long hot shower just to scrub all that bi flirting off me "
It's Chris but don't worry, it's references to 90's hip hop rather than flirting |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Alright biggie
.
Staring competition!
Sometimes your words do hypnotize me
Is this Chris or Ada? Because if it's Chris I'm going to have to take a long hot shower just to scrub all that bi flirting off me
It's Chris but don't worry, it's references to 90's hip hop rather than flirting "
Well in that case I'm happy to go cold lampin' with you at the crib with the homies Boyyeeeee! (downward arms crossed emoji) |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"
Alright biggie
.
Staring competition!
Sometimes your words do hypnotize me
Is this Chris or Ada? Because if it's Chris I'm going to have to take a long hot shower just to scrub all that bi flirting off me
It's Chris but don't worry, it's references to 90's hip hop rather than flirting
Well in that case I'm happy to go cold lampin' with you at the crib with the homies Boyyeeeee! (downward arms crossed emoji) "
Hey OP, you have it right, scarcity is a stunning marketing tool.
How many want what they cannot have.
P.s please don’t let others know, it’s giving the ladies an edge in general. However, reversed... Mmm |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I quite like it when ladies are attracted to the man I know I'm going to sleep with!!
Would you prefer him to turn them down or fuck them? Or are you indifferent on that issue? "
Well that would depend on where we had gone for the evening. If it was to a swinging club it would of been discussed prior and if he wanted to go off with another woman that would be ok with me so long as it worked for me to.
If it was a 'normal' night out of be miffed!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a different world. I don’t mind how many ladies a gentleman is chatting too. How would I know? None of my business either really!
But, I do get guys who ask me those questions! Want to know how many people I’ve slept with. Ask if I’d be his gf after one night together etc. It’s happened lots. Believe it or not
If after we met, he takes his time saying hello again or asking to see me I decline though. I’d have partially forgotten any conversation etc we had and don’t fancy starting over. The moment has passed.
A regular would be amazing! But when I’ve had that in the past we saw each other mostly every week. Sometimes 2 times a week! Seems hard to find anymore :/"
It is hard to find! Apparently there's always someone better just around the corner |
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By *opaz12Woman
over a year ago
Buckinghamshire |
Not cranky, bilogical. A man's success used to be based on two factors: his ability to provide and his ability to breed.
So the gent who already has the attention of women surely has done something right to get that attention. Hence making them more attractive.
But the same can be said for you gents who are aroused by photos of women sucking and fucking other men or covered in they're cum. Show you gents a pic/vid of women in a gangbang and a large number of you want to join in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder if there's a push and pull between women's attraction to selective men and swinging. It strikes me that if you asked most women how selective their ideal man would be she'd say he's the kind of guy who walks into a room filled with relatively attractive women but totally blanks them all in his focused pursuit of only her. In short, he doesn't just fancy 1 in every 50 or 1 in every 100 women. He fancies 1 in a million. That's ridiculously highly selective. But that appears to be what women find attractive in a guy.
So how does that impact on women's views of swinging men? When your attractive man walks into a room with 50 women in and all of a sudden just coincidentally happens to find most of them desirable... does that take the sheen off him a little bit in your eyes?
Yup.
I like to be pursued, men who do that with one woman at a time reap the rewards I think."
on horseback? |
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