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Do women really understand swinging?
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"Saying you’re okay with something then actually going through with it are two seperate beasts. She probably liked the idea then the reality of seeing you with someone else did nothing for her and just overwhelmed her. You did nothing wrong as far as I can make out though so don’t blame yourself "It’s tough... the whole night was ruined and no one had fun.... I can’t sleep | |||
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"Bin her. Drama queen looking for an exclusive relationship. This site and dating apps is full of them. " You’re correct but they seem to find me..... | |||
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"Saying you’re okay with something then actually going through with it are two seperate beasts. She probably liked the idea then the reality of seeing you with someone else did nothing for her and just overwhelmed her. You did nothing wrong as far as I can make out though so don’t blame yourself
It’s tough... the whole night was ruined and no one had fun....
I can’t sleep "Awwww....it’s not your fault. It really isn’t. You both need to sit down and have a chat about how she felt and why it was so strong. Sounds like she might be transferring a previous experience - if you guys have only gone on a few dates, I wouldn’t expect the bond to have developed so strongly as to precipitate this reaction. Sucks right now though - I just want to give you a hug! | |||
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"Yes....I understand swinging so do many women. One guy and two women wouldn't be for me. Swinging is about swapping to me. Sounds like a male want scenario, you having them both and him watching. Was that fully explained before to her ? " I love the sister hood..... you guys always defend each other no matter what.... I suggested a couple I know well because I didn’t want it to be arkward for her.... We agreed it will go as far as she liked and it was a no pressure situation .. the women spoke before hand and built a rapport....before play they tired on outfits for us guys and the night was going great. The women started playing first and there was no directing by me or the husband. She could have stop at anytime , which she did. The females were leading the playing.... There was nothing to explain before hand... she had control.... | |||
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"Yes....I understand swinging so do many women. One guy and two women wouldn't be for me. Swinging is about swapping to me. Sounds like a male want scenario, you having them both and him watching. Was that fully explained before to her ? I love the sister hood..... you guys always defend each other no matter what.... I suggested a couple I know well because I didn’t want it to be arkward for her.... We agreed it will go as far as she liked and it was a no pressure situation .. the women spoke before hand and built a rapport....before play they tired on outfits for us guys and the night was going great. The women started playing first and there was no directing by me or the husband. She could have stop at anytime , which she did. The females were leading the playing.... There was nothing to explain before hand... she had control.... " She stopped it. She said she didn't like it. What's the issue? She thought she'd be ok but in reality she wasn't. Swinging isn't compulsory. | |||
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"Yes....I understand swinging so do many women. One guy and two women wouldn't be for me. Swinging is about swapping to me. Sounds like a male want scenario, you having them both and him watching. Was that fully explained before to her ? I love the sister hood..... you guys always defend each other no matter what.... I suggested a couple I know well because I didn’t want it to be arkward for her.... We agreed it will go as far as she liked and it was a no pressure situation .. the women spoke before hand and built a rapport....before play they tired on outfits for us guys and the night was going great. The women started playing first and there was no directing by me or the husband. She could have stop at anytime , which she did. The females were leading the playing.... There was nothing to explain before hand... she had control.... " You have to decide do you want an exclusive relationship with her or continue swinging. She doesnt sound like a swinger. | |||
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"Long story short , met a girl on a dating app. Went on a few dates and we both decided to try swinging.... I didn’t pressure her and she told me she has swung in the past with other partners and was part of the Fetish/kink community.... We decide to meet a couple I know very well for our first time.. We go over to thier place everything is going fine until we start to play.... The husband doesn’t play . He just like to watch.... I started playing with both women and the minute I start to have sex with the wife.... she leaves the bedroom and starts crying in the living room... We all leave the bedroom to console her and she tells everyone she is ok ... leave her alone. On the Uber home she tells me “ I can’t watch you have sex with another woman “ So my question is.....What did I do wrong ? I feel like I just messed up a wet dream...." I have been upfront with Ben all along. I said at this time I would find it too hard seeing him have sex with another girl. I'm comfortable now seeing him kissing and soft play but thats my limit. The idea and the reality are so completely different. Maybe just soft play with her for a while, get her more comfortable with the idea. | |||
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"This situation isn’t to do with women understanding swinging, it’s to do with her feelings towards you. She doesn’t want you to have sex with another lady, that’s a valid feeling. Equally you enjoy swinging. You both need to discuss it and decide what you’re both willing to accept going forward. You met her on a dating app, not a swinging app. " Yup, people are way too harsh in their judgements - he was dating her, she has every right to find she feels wrong about swinging with him. Maybe she thought she was ok with it til she saw it. Maybe she actually only went along with it to try to please the OP. Maybe it would have been ok if the other guy had played. Sad that it got messy but give the poor girl a break, she's only having a normal human reaction to something the vast majority of people could not cope with. | |||
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"This situation isn’t to do with women understanding swinging, it’s to do with her feelings towards you. She doesn’t want you to have sex with another lady, that’s a valid feeling. Equally you enjoy swinging. You both need to discuss it and decide what you’re both willing to accept going forward. You met her on a dating app, not a swinging app. Yup, people are way too harsh in their judgements - he was dating her, she has every right to find she feels wrong about swinging with him. Maybe she thought she was ok with it til she saw it. Maybe she actually only went along with it to try to please the OP. Maybe it would have been ok if the other guy had played. Sad that it got messy but give the poor girl a break, she's only having a normal human reaction to something the vast majority of people could not cope with. " | |||
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"Saying you’re okay with something then actually going through with it are two seperate beasts. She probably liked the idea then the reality of seeing you with someone else did nothing for her and just overwhelmed her. You did nothing wrong as far as I can make out though so don’t blame yourself
It’s tough... the whole night was ruined and no one had fun....
I can’t sleep "You can’t akways jump into stuff like that. Trust needs to be build and lots of communication first. It still doesn’t guarantee that you will both be ok with it. Going to a club is your best bet as you are not required to do anything, you could just watch and socialise and ease in gently should you both choose to. | |||
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"Bin her. Drama queen looking for an exclusive relationship. This site and dating apps is full of them. " Errm, that’s usually what people on dating apps want... | |||
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"Long story short , met a girl on a dating app. Went on a few dates and we both decided to try swinging.... I didn’t pressure her and she told me she has swung in the past with other partners and was part of the Fetish/kink community.... We decide to meet a couple I know very well for our first time.. We go over to thier place everything is going fine until we start to play.... The husband doesn’t play . He just like to watch.... I started playing with both women and the minute I start to have sex with the wife.... she leaves the bedroom and starts crying in the living room... We all leave the bedroom to console her and she tells everyone she is ok ... leave her alone. On the Uber home she tells me “ I can’t watch you have sex with another woman “ So my question is.....What did I do wrong ? I feel like I just messed up a wet dream...." she's an actual human being and she has feelings for you and doesn't want to share you omg can you believe it  | |||
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"Bin her. Drama queen looking for an exclusive relationship. This site and dating apps is full of them. " Dating sites are specifically for people who are looking for exclusive relationships.. Well the ones who are serious about it are.. Not quite sure how the OP thought it would pan out but he only has himself to blame imo | |||
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"Bin her. Drama queen looking for an exclusive relationship. This site and dating apps is full of them. Dating sites are specifically for people who are looking for exclusive relationships.. Well the ones who are serious about it are.. Not quite sure how the OP thought it would pan out but he only has himself to blame imo" Couples who swing started off dating. The relationship has to start somewhere. How soon you become swingers depends on each relationship. | |||
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"The other couple didn't understand swinging and I would have asked why they didn't mention that the man only watched before we met. You should have said sorry, we're swingers, and left. " his woman didn't want to swing though she just wanted him | |||
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"Saying you’re okay with something then actually going through with it are two seperate beasts. She probably liked the idea then the reality of seeing you with someone else did nothing for her and just overwhelmed her. You did nothing wrong as far as I can make out though so don’t blame yourself
It’s tough... the whole night was ruined and no one had fun....
I can’t sleep "Was she aware that her role would be watching you and another woman together. I thought swinging or the base line definition of it was two couples having sex with each others partner. | |||
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"Saying you’re okay with something then actually going through with it are two seperate beasts. She probably liked the idea then the reality of seeing you with someone else did nothing for her and just overwhelmed her. You did nothing wrong as far as I can make out though so don’t blame yourself
It’s tough... the whole night was ruined and no one had fun....
I can’t sleep
Was she aware that her role would be watching you and another woman together. I thought swinging or the base line definition of it was two couples having sex with each others partner."
This is one of the reasons I dislike the term 'Swinger'. Swingers (with a capital S) seem to think people should fuck anyone, and if they don't then they are jealous/ vanilla/ lesser evolved humans than they are.
swingers (no capital ) embrace, welcome, respect and understand all the different nuances within the community.
Some people only want 3somes, some only soft play, some have gangbangs. As long as the people involved are happy and it's consensual then surely all those are ok. | |||
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"It’s not a matter of understanding swinging. It’s a case of (lack of) open communication. If you don’t talk beforehand about your “rules, wants, needs” then you will always run the risk of getting it wrong. Everyone has their own “thing” V x " Gotta agree with that... | |||
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"It probably happend because you didn't discuss what would go on (did you tell her it would be same room and the other man wasn't going to get involved ) she probably thinks you just tricked her into you having a threesom "You may have a point. Didn't think of that, when I made my comment. | |||
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"It probably happend because you didn't discuss what would go on (did you tell her it would be same room and the other man wasn't going to get involved ) she probably thinks you just tricked her into you having a threesom
You may have a point. Didn't think of that, when I made my comment." | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool" I'm confused. How is her getting upset and crying, childish games?  | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool" If she led you on then that's not cool and has clearly backfired on her. But I do think you're being a bit naive about women op. Women develop feelings for guys and want to be seen as cool and hip in their eyes. No point having an opinion on that. That's just how they are. So any move towards swinging with a new woman needs to be navigated really really carefully and tentatively. Sure... she may have never had a problem watching her previous guys fuck other women. But maybe she just didn't have the feelings for them that have swollen inside her for you. If that doesn't work for you fair enough. Just move on. But I personally wouldn't blame her. You were just in different places from each other | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool" There clearly was something to discuss beforehand because neither of you were aware of the others boundaries. | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool If she led you on then that's not cool and has clearly backfired on her. But I do think you're being a bit naive about women op. Women develop feelings for guys and want to be seen as cool and hip in their eyes. No point having an opinion on that. That's just how they are. So any move towards swinging with a new woman needs to be navigated really really carefully and tentatively. Sure... she may have never had a problem watching her previous guys fuck other women. But maybe she just didn't have the feelings for them that have swollen inside her for you. If that doesn't work for you fair enough. Just move on. But I personally wouldn't blame her. You were just in different places from each other " You missed the "some" before "women develop feeling" etc  | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool If she led you on then that's not cool and has clearly backfired on her. But I do think you're being a bit naive about women op. Women develop feelings for guys and want to be seen as cool and hip in their eyes. No point having an opinion on that. That's just how they are. So any move towards swinging with a new woman needs to be navigated really really carefully and tentatively. Sure... she may have never had a problem watching her previous guys fuck other women. But maybe she just didn't have the feelings for them that have swollen inside her for you. If that doesn't work for you fair enough. Just move on. But I personally wouldn't blame her. You were just in different places from each other You missed the "some" before "women develop feeling" etc "Shhh  I don't think anyone noticed 
To be honest I think guys develop feelings too. The op dated the woman several times. I think lots of people, men or women, could easily begin to develop feelings in that time. Women do seem to be more wired towards it imo. But us guys aren't always the detached cool heads we sometimes portray ourselves as | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool" Similar things have happened to me before. I've long been upfront about the fact that I wanted an ethnically non-mongamous relationship before dating anyone. Multiple women realised that there was a correct set of words they needed to say to get me into a relationship and then try and talk me out of it
One was constantly ill / getting headaches / on her period whenever the day came that we'd arranged to go to clubs. After months of this nonsense she said "I can't think of anything worse than seeing the person you love fuck someone else".
In summary, bitches be trippin' | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool If she led you on then that's not cool and has clearly backfired on her. But I do think you're being a bit naive about women op. Women develop feelings for guys and want to be seen as cool and hip in their eyes. No point having an opinion on that. That's just how they are. So any move towards swinging with a new woman needs to be navigated really really carefully and tentatively. Sure... she may have never had a problem watching her previous guys fuck other women. But maybe she just didn't have the feelings for them that have swollen inside her for you. If that doesn't work for you fair enough. Just move on. But I personally wouldn't blame her. You were just in different places from each other You missed the "some" before "women develop feeling" etc
Shhh I don't think anyone noticed
To be honest I think guys develop feelings too. The op dated the woman several times. I think lots of people, men or women, could easily begin to develop feelings in that time. Women do seem to be more wired towards it imo. But us guys aren't always the detached cool heads we sometimes portray ourselves as "Yeah men and women get premature attachment syndrome in my experience. As is so often the case we don't have all the information here. Is it poor communication, is it her trying to manipulate him, is it him trying to manipulate us...we just don't know. Sometimes we want to try things and they don't turn out the way we thought. I really wanted to try having sex with an audience (as in being watched by an audience, I wasn't thinking of turning up during the interval of Swan Lake and fucking my way through the cheap seats ). We duly arranged for this to happen and I didn't like it one bit. Physically I enjoyed it, mentally I didn't. Maybe this lady experienced the same feeling. | |||
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"It happens, not just to women. Sometimes the fantasy becoming reality doesn't work in the emotional department, and shocks them back out of the zone." exactly can happen to guys to just shows you're human with human emotions | |||
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"It happens, not just to women. Sometimes the fantasy becoming reality doesn't work in the emotional department, and shocks them back out of the zone." But she claimed she was already a swinger / had done it in the past. If that's true, she knew what to expect. | |||
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"It happens, not just to women. Sometimes the fantasy becoming reality doesn't work in the emotional department, and shocks them back out of the zone. But she claimed she was already a swinger / had done it in the past. If that's true, she knew what to expect. " I think it's a bit naive to think it's as simple as that. Feelings are complicated and often surprisingly irrational | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool If she led you on then that's not cool and has clearly backfired on her. But I do think you're being a bit naive about women op. Women develop feelings for guys and want to be seen as cool and hip in their eyes. No point having an opinion on that. That's just how they are. So any move towards swinging with a new woman needs to be navigated really really carefully and tentatively. Sure... she may have never had a problem watching her previous guys fuck other women. But maybe she just didn't have the feelings for them that have swollen inside her for you. If that doesn't work for you fair enough. Just move on. But I personally wouldn't blame her. You were just in different places from each other " hope your not speaking for all women  | |||
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"It happens, not just to women. Sometimes the fantasy becoming reality doesn't work in the emotional department, and shocks them back out of the zone. But she claimed she was already a swinger / had done it in the past. If that's true, she knew what to expect. I think it's a bit naive to think it's as simple as that. Feelings are complicated and often surprisingly irrational " It's naive to think there aren't men and woman who will tell a potential partner whatever they want to hear in order to form a relationship. | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool" So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! | |||
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"It happens, not just to women. Sometimes the fantasy becoming reality doesn't work in the emotional department, and shocks them back out of the zone. But she claimed she was already a swinger / had done it in the past. If that's true, she knew what to expect. I think it's a bit naive to think it's as simple as that. Feelings are complicated and often surprisingly irrational It's naive to think there aren't men and woman who will tell a potential partner whatever they want to hear in order to form a relationship. " Agreed. That's what I was inferring when I talked about wanting to be cool and hip in the eyes of your date. I guess I just see that as a two to tango type of thing. The op could really easily have weighed heavy on the swinging stuff and made her feel that she had to do that to appear cool in his eyes. It would better explain what happened if it was like that. If it all came from her then her reaction was a bit weird | |||
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"It happens, not just to women. Sometimes the fantasy becoming reality doesn't work in the emotional department, and shocks them back out of the zone. But she claimed she was already a swinger / had done it in the past. If that's true, she knew what to expect. I think it's a bit naive to think it's as simple as that. Feelings are complicated and often surprisingly irrational It's naive to think there aren't men and woman who will tell a potential partner whatever they want to hear in order to form a relationship. Agreed. That's what I was inferring when I talked about wanting to be cool and hip in the eyes of your date. I guess I just see that as a two to tango type of thing. The op could really easily have weighed heavy on the swinging stuff and made her feel that she had to do that to appear cool in his eyes. It would better explain what happened if it was like that. If it all came from her then her reaction was a bit weird " i think you have an odd view of womem | |||
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"i think you have an odd view of womem" I'm happy to listen and learn | |||
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"i think you have an odd view of womem I'm happy to listen and learn "its just like when you type stuff its like youve been reading a text book and clumped all women in to the same catogary. Its just what i get from reading your posts | |||
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"It happens, not just to women. Sometimes the fantasy becoming reality doesn't work in the emotional department, and shocks them back out of the zone. But she claimed she was already a swinger / had done it in the past. If that's true, she knew what to expect. I think it's a bit naive to think it's as simple as that. Feelings are complicated and often surprisingly irrational " Exactly!! | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool If she led you on then that's not cool and has clearly backfired on her. But I do think you're being a bit naive about women op. Women develop feelings for guys and want to be seen as cool and hip in their eyes. No point having an opinion on that. That's just how they are. So any move towards swinging with a new woman needs to be navigated really really carefully and tentatively. Sure... she may have never had a problem watching her previous guys fuck other women. But maybe she just didn't have the feelings for them that have swollen inside her for you. If that doesn't work for you fair enough. Just move on. But I personally wouldn't blame her. You were just in different places from each other You missed the "some" before "women develop feeling" etc "Def missed out the ‘some’ I only have feelings for Mr Badcherry and don’t even have to be attracted to the guy im playing with. Its all about the kink and enjoying it with my hubby  | |||
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"i think you have an odd view of womem I'm happy to listen and learn its just like when you type stuff its like youve been reading a text book and clumped all women in to the same catogary. Its just what i get from reading your posts"You do know I lived with a woman for 20 years? But yes... I get what you're saying. I've been dropping words like "some" and "most" from a few of my posts recently. I don't think I've been particularly asserting "all" though. But I guess the inference is there. To be honest, with developing feelings, I'm not so sure it doesn't apply to all people. We're all capable of developing feelings for someone quite quickly, certainly after a few dates or fucks. So maybe that's why I was a bit bold and left those words out | |||
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"Long story short , met a girl on a dating app. Went on a few dates and we both decided to try swinging.... I didn’t pressure her and she told me she has swung in the past with other partners and was part of the Fetish/kink community.... We decide to meet a couple I know very well for our first time.. We go over to thier place everything is going fine until we start to play.... The husband doesn’t play . He just like to watch.... I started playing with both women and the minute I start to have sex with the wife.... she leaves the bedroom and starts crying in the living room... We all leave the bedroom to console her and she tells everyone she is ok ... leave her alone. On the Uber home she tells me “ I can’t watch you have sex with another woman “ So my question is.....What did I do wrong ? I feel like I just messed up a wet dream...." Maybe she was ok with the idea but in reality maybe she liked you a little more than she had realised | |||
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"Bin her. Drama queen looking for an exclusive relationship. This site and dating apps is full of them. You’re correct but they seem to find me..... " Me too the amount of men I’ve had to stop seeing on fabs because they’ve declare quite literally their love is crazy | |||
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"i think you have an odd view of womem I'm happy to listen and learn its just like when you type stuff its like youve been reading a text book and clumped all women in to the same catogary. Its just what i get from reading your posts
You do know I lived with a woman for 20 years? But yes... I get what you're saying. I've been dropping words like "some" and "most" from a few of my posts recently. I don't think I've been particularly asserting "all" though. But I guess the inference is there.
To be honest, with developing feelings, I'm not so sure it doesn't apply to all people. We're all capable of developing feelings for someone quite quickly, certainly after a few dates or fucks. So maybe that's why I was a bit bold and left those words out "but you wouldnt go into your next relationship basing it on your last would you? | |||
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"i think you have an odd view of womem I'm happy to listen and learn its just like when you type stuff its like youve been reading a text book and clumped all women in to the same catogary. Its just what i get from reading your posts
You do know I lived with a woman for 20 years? But yes... I get what you're saying. I've been dropping words like "some" and "most" from a few of my posts recently. I don't think I've been particularly asserting "all" though. But I guess the inference is there.
To be honest, with developing feelings, I'm not so sure it doesn't apply to all people. We're all capable of developing feelings for someone quite quickly, certainly after a few dates or fucks. So maybe that's why I was a bit bold and left those words out but you wouldnt go into your next relationship basing it on your last would you?"All I'm saying is that women aren't a theoretical entity to me. I'm not just some online nerd forming my opinions on women from books. I'm more than comfortable navigating relationships with real nuanced and complicated women in all their glory. In my experience, my limited experience agreeably, the women I've met have all been relatively quick at bringing feelings into it. But maybe that's because I'm quite open to that | |||
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"i think you have an odd view of womem I'm happy to listen and learn its just like when you type stuff its like youve been reading a text book and clumped all women in to the same catogary. Its just what i get from reading your posts
You do know I lived with a woman for 20 years? But yes... I get what you're saying. I've been dropping words like "some" and "most" from a few of my posts recently. I don't think I've been particularly asserting "all" though. But I guess the inference is there.
To be honest, with developing feelings, I'm not so sure it doesn't apply to all people. We're all capable of developing feelings for someone quite quickly, certainly after a few dates or fucks. So maybe that's why I was a bit bold and left those words out but you wouldnt go into your next relationship basing it on your last would you?
All I'm saying is that women aren't a theoretical entity to me. I'm not just some online nerd forming my opinions on women from books. I'm more than comfortable navigating relationships with real nuanced and complicated women in all their glory. In my experience, my limited experience agreeably, the women I've met have all been relatively quick at bringing feelings into it. But maybe that's because I'm quite open to that "so how long would it normally take a woman to show her feelings | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! " Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! | |||
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Reality is an odd thing in so many ways. | |||
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"i think you have an odd view of womem I'm happy to listen and learn its just like when you type stuff its like youve been reading a text book and clumped all women in to the same catogary. Its just what i get from reading your posts
You do know I lived with a woman for 20 years? But yes... I get what you're saying. I've been dropping words like "some" and "most" from a few of my posts recently. I don't think I've been particularly asserting "all" though. But I guess the inference is there.
To be honest, with developing feelings, I'm not so sure it doesn't apply to all people. We're all capable of developing feelings for someone quite quickly, certainly after a few dates or fucks. So maybe that's why I was a bit bold and left those words out but you wouldnt go into your next relationship basing it on your last would you?
All I'm saying is that women aren't a theoretical entity to me. I'm not just some online nerd forming my opinions on women from books. I'm more than comfortable navigating relationships with real nuanced and complicated women in all their glory. In my experience, my limited experience agreeably, the women I've met have all been relatively quick at bringing feelings into it. But maybe that's because I'm quite open to that so how long would it normally take a woman to show her feelings"Trick question alert! Of course there's no average time you can apply to all women. It can take weeks or the fastest I've experienced is after one date | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!!" It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that! | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that! "Not at all, I think (and I know I'm not always right) from the way things have been described that she possibly liked him more than they both realised. Her feelings took her by surprise and instead of having an adult conversation about what happened, he's on here bitching calling her feelings nonsense. If we all went on our past, then we would never move forward. Each relationship is different, and I don't think that was taken into consideration by either party. There doesn't seem to have been any "checking in" (reading the signs to see if all involved are comfortable) which could be from lack of knowing each others signals. I'm not saying either of them are to blame, I do think he's brushing off any responsibility that may lie with him though. | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
Not at all, I think (and I know I'm not always right) from the way things have been described that she possibly liked him more than they both realised. Her feelings took her by surprise and instead of having an adult conversation about what happened, he's on here bitching calling her feelings nonsense.
If we all went on our past, then we would never move forward. Each relationship is different, and I don't think that was taken into consideration by either party.
There doesn't seem to have been any "checking in" (reading the signs to see if all involved are comfortable) which could be from lack of knowing each others signals.
I'm not saying either of them are to blame, I do think he's brushing off any responsibility that may lie with him though."He's more pissed off that his swinging fun was spoiled than concerned about her feelings. That's a relationship going nowhere. | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
Not at all, I think (and I know I'm not always right) from the way things have been described that she possibly liked him more than they both realised. Her feelings took her by surprise and instead of having an adult conversation about what happened, he's on here bitching calling her feelings nonsense.
If we all went on our past, then we would never move forward. Each relationship is different, and I don't think that was taken into consideration by either party.
There doesn't seem to have been any "checking in" (reading the signs to see if all involved are comfortable) which could be from lack of knowing each others signals.
I'm not saying either of them are to blame, I do think he's brushing off any responsibility that may lie with him though.
He's more pissed off that his swinging fun was spoiled than concerned about her feelings. That's a relationship going nowhere. ""The whole night was ruined and nobody had any fun" kinda gave that bit away.
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"Long story short , met a girl on a dating app. Went on a few dates and we both decided to try swinging.... I didn’t pressure her and she told me she has swung in the past with other partners and was part of the Fetish/kink community.... We decide to meet a couple I know very well for our first time.. We go over to thier place everything is going fine until we start to play.... The husband doesn’t play . He just like to watch.... I started playing with both women and the minute I start to have sex with the wife.... she leaves the bedroom and starts crying in the living room... We all leave the bedroom to console her and she tells everyone she is ok ... leave her alone. On the Uber home she tells me “ I can’t watch you have sex with another woman “ So my question is.....What did I do wrong ? I feel like I just messed up a wet dream...." so did you carry on with the wife as the woman you went with cried in the other room or was whole thing totally ruined ny the woman with feelings? | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
Not at all, I think (and I know I'm not always right) from the way things have been described that she possibly liked him more than they both realised. Her feelings took her by surprise and instead of having an adult conversation about what happened, he's on here bitching calling her feelings nonsense.
If we all went on our past, then we would never move forward. Each relationship is different, and I don't think that was taken into consideration by either party.
There doesn't seem to have been any "checking in" (reading the signs to see if all involved are comfortable) which could be from lack of knowing each others signals.
I'm not saying either of them are to blame, I do think he's brushing off any responsibility that may lie with him though.
He's more pissed off that his swinging fun was spoiled than concerned about her feelings. That's a relationship going nowhere. "More likely is that she lied from the start and that's why it's going nowhere. Everyone seems to ignore that she said she was a swinger and had been part of the scene!!! | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
Not at all, I think (and I know I'm not always right) from the way things have been described that she possibly liked him more than they both realised. Her feelings took her by surprise and instead of having an adult conversation about what happened, he's on here bitching calling her feelings nonsense.
If we all went on our past, then we would never move forward. Each relationship is different, and I don't think that was taken into consideration by either party.
There doesn't seem to have been any "checking in" (reading the signs to see if all involved are comfortable) which could be from lack of knowing each others signals.
I'm not saying either of them are to blame, I do think he's brushing off any responsibility that may lie with him though.
He's more pissed off that his swinging fun was spoiled than concerned about her feelings. That's a relationship going nowhere.
"The whole night was ruined and nobody had any fun" kinda gave that bit away.
"That’s a bad thing to say tbh. I went with a guy I had been dating but nothing serious. We agreed when we went to the club that if either felt uncomfortable or wanted to leave then we will both be ok to leave. I would hate it if I had had a wobble and he told me I had ruined his night. I guess I had build up more trust with him and knew he had my back no matter what. | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that! "It was when he insulted her for having a normal human reaction and so revealed a really bad attitude.  | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
Not at all, I think (and I know I'm not always right) from the way things have been described that she possibly liked him more than they both realised. Her feelings took her by surprise and instead of having an adult conversation about what happened, he's on here bitching calling her feelings nonsense.
If we all went on our past, then we would never move forward. Each relationship is different, and I don't think that was taken into consideration by either party.
There doesn't seem to have been any "checking in" (reading the signs to see if all involved are comfortable) which could be from lack of knowing each others signals.
I'm not saying either of them are to blame, I do think he's brushing off any responsibility that may lie with him though.
He's more pissed off that his swinging fun was spoiled than concerned about her feelings. That's a relationship going nowhere.
More likely is that she lied from the start and that's why it's going nowhere. Everyone seems to ignore that she said she was a swinger and had been part of the scene!!! "I think after the time you've spent on here you must know that swinger means different things to people. For instance if a guy asked me if I wanted to swing with another couple I wouldn't imagine I was going to sit with the husband and watch my partner fuck his wife. | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
It was when he insulted her for having a normal human reaction and so revealed a really bad attitude. "But it's not a normal reaction for swingers. Do you really believe she was as experienced as she made out? | |||
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"Long story short , met a girl on a dating app. Went on a few dates and we both decided to try swinging.... I didn’t pressure her and she told me she has swung in the past with other partners and was part of the Fetish/kink community.... We decide to meet a couple I know very well for our first time.. We go over to thier place everything is going fine until we start to play.... The husband doesn’t play . He just like to watch.... I started playing with both women and the minute I start to have sex with the wife.... she leaves the bedroom and starts crying in the living room... We all leave the bedroom to console her and she tells everyone she is ok ... leave her alone. On the Uber home she tells me “ I can’t watch you have sex with another woman “ So my question is.....What did I do wrong ? I feel like I just messed up a wet dream...." It's not about understanding swinging but more about understanding each other. If you're a swinging couple it's probably wise to set out boundarys for each other that you're both comfortable with. x | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
Not at all, I think (and I know I'm not always right) from the way things have been described that she possibly liked him more than they both realised. Her feelings took her by surprise and instead of having an adult conversation about what happened, he's on here bitching calling her feelings nonsense.
If we all went on our past, then we would never move forward. Each relationship is different, and I don't think that was taken into consideration by either party.
There doesn't seem to have been any "checking in" (reading the signs to see if all involved are comfortable) which could be from lack of knowing each others signals.
I'm not saying either of them are to blame, I do think he's brushing off any responsibility that may lie with him though.
He's more pissed off that his swinging fun was spoiled than concerned about her feelings. That's a relationship going nowhere.
More likely is that she lied from the start and that's why it's going nowhere. Everyone seems to ignore that she said she was a swinger and had been part of the scene!!!
I think after the time you've spent on here you must know that swinger means different things to people. For instance if a guy asked me if I wanted to swing with another couple I wouldn't imagine I was going to sit with the husband and watch my partner fuck his wife."Fair comment. I don't know why they arranged that... | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
It was when he insulted her for having a normal human reaction and so revealed a really bad attitude.
But it's not a normal reaction for swingers. Do you really believe she was as experienced as she made out?"She has probably dabbled like I have but still kind of new to it. I know very experienced swingers and has had the odd off moment. I don’t get jealous watching a partner with someone else usually but one day I may feel differently with someone else. | |||
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"Long story short , met a girl on a dating app. Went on a few dates and we both decided to try swinging.... I didn’t pressure her and she told me she has swung in the past with other partners and was part of the Fetish/kink community.... We decide to meet a couple I know very well for our first time.. We go over to thier place everything is going fine until we start to play.... The husband doesn’t play . He just like to watch.... I started playing with both women and the minute I start to have sex with the wife.... she leaves the bedroom and starts crying in the living room... We all leave the bedroom to console her and she tells everyone she is ok ... leave her alone. On the Uber home she tells me “ I can’t watch you have sex with another woman “ So my question is.....What did I do wrong ? I feel like I just messed up a wet dream.... It's not about understanding swinging but more about understanding each other. If you're a swinging couple it's probably wise to set out boundarys for each other that you're both comfortable with. x " Communication is key and a set of boundaries beforehand absolutely. I doubt they had really talked properly after a few dates. | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
It was when he insulted her for having a normal human reaction and so revealed a really bad attitude.
But it's not a normal reaction for swingers. Do you really believe she was as experienced as she made out?"We don’t know the level of experience or the boundaries / scenarios they discussed prior to the meeting. It’s a reaction of a person regardless of whether they’re a swinger or not. I’d bet there are plenty of “bona fide swingers” who would react the same. Yes it’s a let down but his sour reaction paints a not so pretty picture imo. | |||
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"I don't think anyone's at fault here. I think they both needed to talk a bit more beforehand." And afterwards. | |||
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"I don't think anyone's at fault here. I think they both needed to talk a bit more beforehand. And afterwards. " Does running down the road after her shouting "get back here woman and put this strap-on back on!" count? | |||
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"I don't think anyone's at fault here. I think they both needed to talk a bit more beforehand. And afterwards. Does running down the road after her shouting "get back here woman and put this strap-on back on!" count? "I have consulted the big handbook of swinging and as long as you said "please" it counts. | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
It was when he insulted her for having a normal human reaction and so revealed a really bad attitude.
But it's not a normal reaction for swingers. Do you really believe she was as experienced as she made out?"They were dating, off a dating site! A friend of mine who co-hosted swinging parties for years said she always had wives in tears in the ladies room, because they were being 'persuaded' to participate by their partners. Swinging is an emotional minefield and even seasoned swingers fall foul of that, those who deny it are deluding themselves IMO. | |||
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"Saying you’re okay with something then actually going through with it are two seperate beasts. She probably liked the idea then the reality of seeing you with someone else did nothing for her and just overwhelmed her. You did nothing wrong as far as I can make out though so don’t blame yourself
It’s tough... the whole night was ruined and no one had fun....
I can’t sleep
Was she aware that her role would be watching you and another woman together. I thought swinging or the base line definition of it was two couples having sex with each others partner."Also perhaps you should have included her in your play with the other woman rather than just left her to watch. Men are more visual then women and she may have felt abandoned by you. | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now..." Well your tone has totally changed from the first post to the last, its very revealing comparing the two posts. Your friend simply became emotional in what sounds like a ghastly, one sided meet, and if you cannot handle that like a gentleman then I think she is better off with someone else anyway, so all's well. | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now..." It’s a sorry tale and I hope you both have learnt something from it about relationships & communication. Also, I don’t think it’s ingrained to blame the man in the forums all the time, however people will call you out on what they perceive to be an unfair reaction. | |||
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"Setting boundaries beforehand also means one person doesn't feel under pressure of stopping everyone else's fun if they are not comfortable with something. Instead they would feel less anxious and more secure knowing their partner understood their boundaries " This | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now..." So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore." It's hard to shake off the scene | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore." So you are saying that swingers are not in a good happy relationship? That’s ridiculous. | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore." | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now..." I think you were quite naive to this and don’t really have a proper understanding of what swinging entails. | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore." A lot of singles think that way. Fair enough, everyone's different. | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do.. But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now..." That was just beautiful man  I'm so touched I thought I'd give it the honour of translating it into a Shakespearian ode to love
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Thou posters hast the look of blame, me thinks, upon the man in your mind have thee not?
Yet twas not a word spoke to wit what yonder boundaries we should afford the tother. And hers was the reigns of my heart.
Nay! If twas not the blessed bosom to her delicate being then, with alarm, she could upon the night call "tis a matter most urgent I must report to thee in utmost privacy"... as is the want of adults
But alas she dideth rage outwards from that place crying cheerlessly. We did fly to her to soften her spirit but she poured upon us a great storm and soon a donkey she became
To which all thoughts of frivolity did stopeth short and the merriment twas spirited to another's shore
Since, for many a night, her burning soul has flown to me to tell tales of depth and woe. But I'm over her now. Who wanteth fucking next ladies! | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore. So you are saying that swingers are not in a good happy relationship? That’s ridiculous. " no one said that,I said that if I was in a happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene,I know there’s loads of good happy couples on here I’ve met loads. | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore. " | |||
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"Saying you’re okay with something then actually going through with it are two seperate beasts. She probably liked the idea then the reality of seeing you with someone else did nothing for her and just overwhelmed her. You did nothing wrong as far as I can make out though so don’t blame yourself
It’s tough... the whole night was ruined and no one had fun....
I can’t sleep
Was she aware that her role would be watching you and another woman together. I thought swinging or the base line definition of it was two couples having sex with each others partner.
This is one of the reasons I dislike the term 'Swinger'. Swingers (with a capital S) seem to think people should fuck anyone, and if they don't then they are jealous/ vanilla/ lesser evolved humans than they are.
swingers (no capital ) embrace, welcome, respect and understand all the different nuances within the community.
Some people only want 3somes, some only soft play, some have gangbangs. As long as the people involved are happy and it's consensual then surely all those are ok. " | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore." If that's how you think then you're not actually in it now. | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... I think you were quite naive to this and don’t really have a proper understanding of what swinging entails. " Or relationships | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore. If that's how you think then you're not actually in it now." I know what suits me and what doesn’t and what means more. | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do.. But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... That was just beautiful man I'm so touched I thought I'd give it the honour of translating it into a Shakespearian ode to love
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Thou posters hast the look of blame, me thinks, upon the man in your mind have thee not?
Yet twas not a word spoke to wit what yonder boundaries we should afford the tother. And hers was the reigns of my heart.
Nay! If twas not the blessed bosom to her delicate being then, with alarm, she could upon the night call "tis a matter most urgent I must report to thee in utmost privacy"... as is the want of adults
But alas she dideth rage outwards from that place crying cheerlessly. We did fly to her to soften her spirit but she poured upon us a great storm and soon a donkey she became
To which all thoughts of frivolity did stopeth short and the merriment twas spirited to another's shore
Since, for many a night, her burning soul has flown to me to tell tales of depth and woe. But I'm over her now. Who wanteth fucking next ladies! " brilliant | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore. So you are saying that swingers are not in a good happy relationship? That’s ridiculous. no one said that,I said that if I was in a happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene,I know there’s loads of good happy couples on here I’ve met loads." I just wondered what relevance it had to this thread. | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore. So you are saying that swingers are not in a good happy relationship? That’s ridiculous. no one said that,I said that if I was in a happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene,I know there’s loads of good happy couples on here I’ve met loads. I just wondered what relevance it had to this thread. " There is bits that other members that have added to the thread which I feel it relevant to,if it’s of any intrest. | |||
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"I think this thread should be renamed 'do men understand women' "I respectfully refer you to my first reply on this thread xx | |||
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"To be honest if I was in a good happy relationship I wouldn’t be in the scene anymore. If that's how you think then you're not actually in it now. I know what suits me and what doesn’t and what means more." Being a swinger is about adding something to what is already a very strong & committed relationship...it’s not a stop-gap | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... I think you were quite naive to this and don’t really have a proper understanding of what swinging entails. " I respectfully disagree with you.... I understand swinging very well... I’ve been doing it for 10 years.... What I don’t like is dishonesty...... Don’t lie to me and say you’re a experienced swinger , then act like a child in the moment... I respect her feelings, if she would have stopped play and said to me “ I don’t feel comfortable watching you with another woman “ I would have said “ Fine “ we could have all continued our night without this drama.... | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that???" Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday...." You are truly an Adult and a Swinger. Ghost her. Refuse to communicate. Don't care about her feelings. Dismiss her because you didn't get the fuck you wanted. Exactly the opposite of what swinging should be. But hey what do I know. I'm just a single woman. I don't understand Swinging. | |||
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"This is why i don’t swing, i know i’d turn into the Hulk the moment another woman encroached on my cock! But i’d say it was too soon. Maybe she overplayed her past experiences to you, thinking she could wing it, but the reality was too much? Or maybe she felt excluded as he wasn’t fucking her but you got to fuck the other woman? Had her nose put out? If i were to swing i’d want to ensure that everyone would be playing before the meet took place." | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool So her feelings are nonsense? Ouch! Yeah right...and this was someone supposedly wanting to build a proper relationship with her? Girl dodges bullet methinks!! It boggles my mind how the OP has been turned into the villain here. I know women have an in-group bias, but this thread really pushed the boundaries of that!
It was when he insulted her for having a normal human reaction and so revealed a really bad attitude.
But it's not a normal reaction for swingers. Do you really believe she was as experienced as she made out?
They were dating, off a dating site! A friend of mine who co-hosted swinging parties for years said she always had wives in tears in the ladies room, because they were being 'persuaded' to participate by their partners. Swinging is an emotional minefield and even seasoned swingers fall foul of that, those who deny it are deluding themselves IMO."this | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... You are truly an Adult and a Swinger. Ghost her. Refuse to communicate. Don't care about her feelings. Dismiss her because you didn't get the fuck you wanted. Exactly the opposite of what swinging should be. But hey what do I know. I'm just a single woman. I don't understand Swinging. " Please don’t be offended..... I’m being honest.... I’m not interested in a relationship with her... so why drag this out? I’m trying to be an adult by telling her. I will talk to her when I’m ready... | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... You are truly an Adult and a Swinger. Ghost her. Refuse to communicate. Don't care about her feelings. Dismiss her because you didn't get the fuck you wanted. Exactly the opposite of what swinging should be. But hey what do I know. I'm just a single woman. I don't understand Swinging. Please don’t be offended..... I’m being honest.... I’m not interested in a relationship with her... so why drag this out? I’m trying to be an adult by telling her. I will talk to her when I’m ready... " I'm not offended, you want to be single........ She's far too emotional maybe she chopped onions before you went out | |||
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"Yes....I understand swinging so do many women. One guy and two women wouldn't be for me. Swinging is about swapping to me. Sounds like a male want scenario, you having them both and him watching. Was that fully explained before to her ? I love the sister hood..... you guys always defend each other no matter what.... I suggested a couple I know well because I didn’t want it to be arkward for her.... We agreed it will go as far as she liked and it was a no pressure situation .. the women spoke before hand and built a rapport....before play they tired on outfits for us guys and the night was going great. The women started playing first and there was no directing by me or the husband. She could have stop at anytime , which she did. The females were leading the playing.... There was nothing to explain before hand... she had control.... She stopped it. She said she didn't like it. What's the issue? She thought she'd be ok but in reality she wasn't. Swinging isn't compulsory. " This says it perfectly. No one can know exactly how they are going to feel about something that hasn’t happened yet and people change their minds. That’s fine. | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... You are truly an Adult and a Swinger. Ghost her. Refuse to communicate. Don't care about her feelings. Dismiss her because you didn't get the fuck you wanted. Exactly the opposite of what swinging should be. But hey what do I know. I'm just a single woman. I don't understand Swinging. Please don’t be offended..... I’m being honest.... I’m not interested in a relationship with her... so why drag this out? I’m trying to be an adult by telling her. I will talk to her when I’m ready... " Oh ffs if you don't want a relationship with her, tell her immediately you know like an adult!! You're playing games with people in my opinion, what a car crash. | |||
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"Long story short , met a girl on a dating app. Went on a few dates and we both decided to try swinging.... I didn’t pressure her and she told me she has swung in the past with other partners and was part of the Fetish/kink community.... We decide to meet a couple I know very well for our first time.. We go over to thier place everything is going fine until we start to play.... The husband doesn’t play . He just like to watch.... I started playing with both women and the minute I start to have sex with the wife.... she leaves the bedroom and starts crying in the living room... We all leave the bedroom to console her and she tells everyone she is ok ... leave her alone. On the Uber home she tells me “ I can’t watch you have sex with another woman “ So my question is.....What did I do wrong ? I feel like I just messed up a wet dream...." ... Can I ask.. did you discuss all your bounderies with her as the bounderies of the other couple | |||
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" She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday...." Ghost her, really?! Such mature behaviour - with an attitude like that she’s dodged a massive fuck-off bullet IMO. | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... I think you were quite naive to this and don’t really have a proper understanding of what swinging entails. I respectfully disagree with you.... I understand swinging very well... I’ve been doing it for 10 years.... What I don’t like is dishonesty...... Don’t lie to me and say you’re a experienced swinger , then act like a child in the moment... I respect her feelings, if she would have stopped play and said to me “ I don’t feel comfortable watching you with another woman “ I would have said “ Fine “ we could have all continued our night without this drama.... " If you were an experienced swinger within a couple then you would have discussed boundaries and talked things over a lot more than you did. | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... You are truly an Adult and a Swinger. Ghost her. Refuse to communicate. Don't care about her feelings. Dismiss her because you didn't get the fuck you wanted. Exactly the opposite of what swinging should be. But hey what do I know. I'm just a single woman. I don't understand Swinging. " Nor does he, maybe as a single swinger (if you can call it that) but not as a proper couple. | |||
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"Buy her something pretty and she'll be fine." Oi, you know better than that! | |||
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" She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... Ghost her, really?! Such mature behaviour - with an attitude like that she’s dodged a massive fuck-off bullet IMO." Honest question..... did you read what I posted? I said “ I will ghost her for the weekend, then talk to her on Wednesday/Thursday “ Talking to her now serves no purpose...... I accepted her apology and will talk to her... when I’m ready...... I did nothing wrong... So why should I break my neck to communicate? I’m going to enjoy my weekend , and by Wednesday/Thursday. I’m going to decide if I want to see her again .... but it would be strictly as a fuck buddy..... Now I noticed some people get offended when someone speaks the truth on the forums...... I’m sorry if you’re offended..... But not ever guy online is a galant gentleman that will say everything you want to hear.... I made this post looking to get some incite from people who have been in this similar situation... The consensus advice has been to talk to your partner to set boundaries before a meet.... My question to all who have given me this advice...... How do you know what boundaries you have until you start playing? I’m not naive or crazy... I just never have a plan when meeting people... I just go with the flow | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool" Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
"She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple. | |||
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"I'm confused. You arranged to meet a couple to swing with and then had an FFM. Where's the communication there? " She had control of all aspects of play... This is a couple I’ve known for a long time... If she wanted the husband to play... she could have involved him... If she wanted just girl play, she could have said so , if she wanted to just play with me , that would have been fine also.... WHATEVER SHE WANTED TO HAPPEN, WOULD HAVE HAPPENED The way the night played out... the two women started playing, males watched... I jumped in played with both women, husband watched. I started have sex with the wife for 30 seconds... She jumps up and leaves the room.... | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple. "Agree | |||
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" She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... Ghost her, really?! Such mature behaviour - with an attitude like that she’s dodged a massive fuck-off bullet IMO. Honest question..... did you read what I posted? I said “ I will ghost her for the weekend, then talk to her on Wednesday/Thursday “ Talking to her now serves no purpose...... I accepted her apology and will talk to her... when I’m ready...... I did nothing wrong... So why should I break my neck to communicate? I’m going to enjoy my weekend , and by Wednesday/Thursday. I’m going to decide if I want to see her again .... but it would be strictly as a fuck buddy..... Now I noticed some people get offended when someone speaks the truth on the forums...... I’m sorry if you’re offended..... But not ever guy online is a galant gentleman that will say everything you want to hear.... I made this post looking to get some incite from people who have been in this similar situation... The consensus advice has been to talk to your partner to set boundaries before a meet.... My question to all who have given me this advice...... How do you know what boundaries you have until you start playing? I’m not naive or crazy... I just never have a plan when meeting people... I just go with the flow " Have you read what people have replied to you? Some aren't interested in the husband of another couple watching, that's a boundary. Not discussing likes/dislikes and things that are big no's or big yes's before a meet shows you're not as experienced as you think. If you didn't discuss with her beforehand that the husband wouldn't be joining in, how is that fair to her? Plenty of experienced swingers would be pissed off to get to a meet with a couple and find out it's actually a threesome. And ghosting her over the weekend is a pathetic move. This all seems to be about you. What you want out of a relationship with her, what you want sexually. Talk when you want, regardless of her feelings or needs. I hope the poor girl has the sense to tell you to fuck off. | |||
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"I think blaming the man of the relationship is ingrained in some of the posters mind..... There were no boundaries to discuss before hand.... she had total control of the situation... If she didn’t feel comfortable, she could have stopped play and said “ I need to talk to you in private “ This is what adults do... But she storms out the room , starts crying and when we try to console her. She gets mad... to me that’s childish..... All play stopped the minute she left and the night was over..... She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday...." Omg she was d*unk. Have you not seen women on the town d*unk? Emotional messes no offence ladies.
I think you are being quite naive.
You take a woman you don’t know to a meet, no discussion an expect it to be all hunky dory. It didn’t go well. I don’t think either of you are to blame.
It’s a lesson learned.
Prior, preparation prevents poor performance | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple. "I wouldn’t of been happy, but I personally would of asked more questions first hand. As I like to know what I’m getting myself into | |||
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" She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... Ghost her, really?! Such mature behaviour - with an attitude like that she’s dodged a massive fuck-off bullet IMO. Honest question..... did you read what I posted? I said “ I will ghost her for the weekend, then talk to her on Wednesday/Thursday “ Talking to her now serves no purpose...... I accepted her apology and will talk to her... when I’m ready...... I did nothing wrong... So why should I break my neck to communicate? I’m going to enjoy my weekend , and by Wednesday/Thursday. I’m going to decide if I want to see her again .... but it would be strictly as a fuck buddy..... Now I noticed some people get offended when someone speaks the truth on the forums...... I’m sorry if you’re offended..... But not ever guy online is a galant gentleman that will say everything you want to hear.... I made this post looking to get some incite from people who have been in this similar situation... The consensus advice has been to talk to your partner to set boundaries before a meet.... My question to all who have given me this advice...... How do you know what boundaries you have until you start playing? I’m not naive or crazy... I just never have a plan when meeting people... I just go with the flow Have you read what people have replied to you? Some aren't interested in the husband of another couple watching, that's a boundary. Not discussing likes/dislikes and things that are big no's or big yes's before a meet shows you're not as experienced as you think. If you didn't discuss with her beforehand that the husband wouldn't be joining in, how is that fair to her? Plenty of experienced swingers would be pissed off to get to a meet with a couple and find out it's actually a threesome. And ghosting her over the weekend is a pathetic move. This all seems to be about you. What you want out of a relationship with her, what you want sexually. Talk when you want, regardless of her feelings or needs. I hope the poor girl has the sense to tell you to fuck off. " | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
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"I'm confused. You arranged to meet a couple to swing with and then had an FFM. Where's the communication there? She had control of all aspects of play... This is a couple I’ve known for a long time... If she wanted the husband to play... she could have involved him... If she wanted just girl play, she could have said so , if she wanted to just play with me , that would have been fine also.... WHATEVER SHE WANTED TO HAPPEN, WOULD HAVE HAPPENED The way the night played out... the two women started playing, males watched... I jumped in played with both women, husband watched. I started have sex with the wife for 30 seconds... She jumps up and leaves the room...." Exactly. You've known them for a long time and they are strangers to her. Can you not see how difficult she might have found the situation? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'm confused. You arranged to meet a couple to swing with and then had an FFM. Where's the communication there? She had control of all aspects of play... This is a couple I’ve known for a long time... If she wanted the husband to play... she could have involved him... If she wanted just girl play, she could have said so , if she wanted to just play with me , that would have been fine also.... WHATEVER SHE WANTED TO HAPPEN, WOULD HAVE HAPPENED The way the night played out... the two women started playing, males watched... I jumped in played with both women, husband watched. I started have sex with the wife for 30 seconds... She jumps up and leaves the room.... Exactly. You've known them for a long time and they are strangers to her. Can you not see how difficult she might have found the situation? " Well it depends if she's an outward going person, if she is then it should have been tears off a ducks back | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple. "This is why... I will never understand some women... I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “ Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet.... Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “ Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “ In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way? I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused.... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'm confused. You arranged to meet a couple to swing with and then had an FFM. Where's the communication there? She had control of all aspects of play... This is a couple I’ve known for a long time... If she wanted the husband to play... she could have involved him... If she wanted just girl play, she could have said so , if she wanted to just play with me , that would have been fine also.... WHATEVER SHE WANTED TO HAPPEN, WOULD HAVE HAPPENED The way the night played out... the two women started playing, males watched... I jumped in played with both women, husband watched. I started have sex with the wife for 30 seconds... She jumps up and leaves the room.... Exactly. You've known them for a long time and they are strangers to her. Can you not see how difficult she might have found the situation? Well it depends if she's an outward going person, if she is then it should have been tears off a ducks back" Well she obviously wasn't and found it a very difficult situation. In which case a decent person would have spoken to her and reassured her, and not whinged about the fact he didn't get to fuck another woman. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
"She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens. What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens.
What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend. "Why do you exclude the possibility that she knew how she'd feel and lied anyway? That might even explain why she got d*unk. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... Ghost her, really?! Such mature behaviour - with an attitude like that she’s dodged a massive fuck-off bullet IMO. Honest question..... did you read what I posted? I said “ I will ghost her for the weekend, then talk to her on Wednesday/Thursday “ Talking to her now serves no purpose...... I accepted her apology and will talk to her... when I’m ready...... I did nothing wrong... So why should I break my neck to communicate? I’m going to enjoy my weekend , and by Wednesday/Thursday. I’m going to decide if I want to see her again .... but it would be strictly as a fuck buddy..... Now I noticed some people get offended when someone speaks the truth on the forums...... I’m sorry if you’re offended..... But not ever guy online is a galant gentleman that will say everything you want to hear.... I made this post looking to get some incite from people who have been in this similar situation... The consensus advice has been to talk to your partner to set boundaries before a meet.... My question to all who have given me this advice...... How do you know what boundaries you have until you start playing? I’m not naive or crazy... I just never have a plan when meeting people... I just go with the flow " Then surely this whole sorry mess is down to you not her.. Imo i think it should be you doing the apologising.. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens.
What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend. "I’m bothered that she didn’t talk to me like a adult and not acted like a child and start crying... If she spoke to me and said she was not comfortable.. play would have stop and we could have ended the night politely.... But with her crying , it just left everyone involved feeling unnerved and the night ended badly.... Can you not see the sex didn’t matter that much to me? Can you not see ...It’s her not being a adult , that I’m upset about | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens.
What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend.
Why do you exclude the possibility that she knew how she'd feel and lied anyway? That might even explain why she got d*unk."Im not excluding the possibility. She may have lied because she wanted to impress the OP, was curious and thought she would be ok with it. It's makes no sense to say she might have lied, knew she hated it and met anyway. If that was the case she would have had a diplomatic illness on the day. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" She has texted me constantly to apologize, but I’m over her now... So what's the logic of the apology? For example; A) I just didn't like the scenario B) I really like you but i don't want to swing C) I haven't ever been in a scenario like that??? Her text are basically “ I’m sorry, I drank way too much “. She wants to talk to me in person and wants to apologize to the couple... I’ve just replied “ everything is ok , I’ll talk to you later “ I think I will just ghost her for the weekend , then text her Wednesday or Thursday.... Ghost her, really?! Such mature behaviour - with an attitude like that she’s dodged a massive fuck-off bullet IMO. Honest question..... did you read what I posted? I said “ I will ghost her for the weekend, then talk to her on Wednesday/Thursday “ Talking to her now serves no purpose...... I accepted her apology and will talk to her... when I’m ready...... I did nothing wrong... So why should I break my neck to communicate? I’m going to enjoy my weekend , and by Wednesday/Thursday. I’m going to decide if I want to see her again .... but it would be strictly as a fuck buddy..... Now I noticed some people get offended when someone speaks the truth on the forums...... I’m sorry if you’re offended..... But not ever guy online is a galant gentleman that will say everything you want to hear.... I made this post looking to get some incite from people who have been in this similar situation... The consensus advice has been to talk to your partner to set boundaries before a meet.... My question to all who have given me this advice...... How do you know what boundaries you have until you start playing? I’m not naive or crazy... I just never have a plan when meeting people... I just go with the flow Then surely this whole sorry mess is down to you not her.. Imo i think it should be you doing the apologising.. " I think I found the problem..... let’s switch the gender...... Should a woman have to apologize to me .... If I got d*unk and caused a scene at the house of her swinger friends? Try to be honest | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens.
What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend.
I’m bothered that she didn’t talk to me like a adult and not acted like a child and start crying...
If she spoke to me and said she was not comfortable.. play would have stop and we could have ended the night politely....
But with her crying , it just left everyone involved feeling unnerved and the night ended badly....
Can you not see the sex didn’t matter that much to me?
Can you not see ...It’s her not being a adult , that I’m upset about "The impression I got was that you were pissed off your evening of fun was ruined. However, if your objection is that it is wrong to have strong emotional reactions, I'm not sure that's any better | |||
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"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens.
What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend.
I’m bothered that she didn’t talk to me like a adult and not acted like a child and start crying...
If she spoke to me and said she was not comfortable.. play would have stop and we could have ended the night politely....
But with her crying , it just left everyone involved feeling unnerved and the night ended badly....
Can you not see the sex didn’t matter that much to me?
Can you not see ...It’s her not being a adult , that I’m upset about "Why do you want to phone her an stay in contact with her? If this is how she’s made you feel? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens.
What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend.
Why do you exclude the possibility that she knew how she'd feel and lied anyway? That might even explain why she got d*unk.
Im not excluding the possibility. She may have lied because she wanted to impress the OP, was curious and thought she would be ok with it.
It's makes no sense to say she might have lied, knew she hated it and met anyway. If that was the case she would have had a diplomatic illness on the day. "It happens! It makes no sense to me that some single guys will try and talk like a woman on the phone to apparently verify their status as a single female - It happens. I understand it's possible there's a version of events different to what the OP says, but most people don't really seem to be going with the information we have. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'm confused. You arranged to meet a couple to swing with and then had an FFM. Where's the communication there? She had control of all aspects of play... This is a couple I’ve known for a long time... If she wanted the husband to play... she could have involved him... If she wanted just girl play, she could have said so , if she wanted to just play with me , that would have been fine also.... WHATEVER SHE WANTED TO HAPPEN, WOULD HAVE HAPPENED The way the night played out... the two women started playing, males watched... I jumped in played with both women, husband watched. I started have sex with the wife for 30 seconds... She jumps up and leaves the room...." Other than play with the other bloke. That was never going to happen... But as she was meeting a couple I do wonder if she assumed that was the deal. Also maintaining that anything she wanted could of happened would have suggests you have no real understanding of boundaries | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens.
What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend.
Why do you exclude the possibility that she knew how she'd feel and lied anyway? That might even explain why she got d*unk.
Im not excluding the possibility. She may have lied because she wanted to impress the OP, was curious and thought she would be ok with it.
It's makes no sense to say she might have lied, knew she hated it and met anyway. If that was the case she would have had a diplomatic illness on the day.
It happens! It makes no sense to me that some single guys will try and talk like a woman on the phone to apparently verify their status as a single female - It happens. I understand it's possible there's a version of events different to what the OP says, but most people don't really seem to be going with the information we have. "Whatever the exact background,she was clearly very upset by the situation . Coming on here moaning about her rather than seeking to reassure her and discuss the issue with her does not put the OP in a good light. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens.
What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend.
I’m bothered that she didn’t talk to me like a adult and not acted like a child and start crying...
If she spoke to me and said she was not comfortable.. play would have stop and we could have ended the night politely....
But with her crying , it just left everyone involved feeling unnerved and the night ended badly....
Can you not see the sex didn’t matter that much to me?
Can you not see ...It’s her not being a adult , that I’m upset about "Some of us can see it, most will just blame you because you are the man in this situation, it’s not fair but that is how they roll. I think you have explained it very well personally and it sounds like she is into you more than either of you thought, she may not have realised herself until that moment that she didn’t want to see you in a sexual situation with the wife, and I can imagine how uncomfortable it was for everyone as I have seen that at a few house parties where one half of the couple had been jealous of the attention the other half was getting and arguments and tears flowed. Words obviously need to happen between you and the lady to see where you go from here | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think some posters are missing the point There was nothing to discuss beforehand.... Because She had all the power...... the night was all about her pleasure... I didn’t trick her into anything.... I’ve been nothing but honest with her from the start... I’m a adult and hate childish games.... I feel duped because this woman told me about her swinging and Fetish pass relationships, then pulls this non sense..... not cool Wow nothing to discuss before hand?
You a swinger, yep right you’ll do lol
I don’t get why you keep saying she had all the power? Surely if she did she would of picked another man to play with.
She had zero power. The night was hand picked by the OP, it turned into a 3some which probably threw her. I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t told the full story and the dynamics of the other couple.
This is why... I will never understand some women...
I meet a girl... go on a few dates ... great banter and sexual chemistry... Have a conversation about having a non monogamous relationship... Girl says “ I have been in many non monogamous relationships in the past, attended many swingers parties and Fetish events around the world “
Boy thinks I hit the jackpot.. Let’s try this swinging as a couple thing .... so boy wants to make this first couples experience great... So boy organize a Wednesday meet with a couple he knows she will like by the discussions they have had...boy then introduces girl to Couple by then all chatting on the phone... then wife and girl continue communicating online until the night of the meet....
Boy talks to girl daily telling her “ Don’t be nervous, we will go at your pace “ Girl meets Couple on Wednesday night... everyone is having drinks... boy says to girl “ are you ok “
Girl says to boy “ This Couple is so nice , great people “
In what way was I being nefarious and putting her in harms way?
I fucked her and the wife a few times.... I didn’t need this drama she caused....
She thought she would be ok with it and she wasn't. It happens.
What people object to is you being more bothered about getting a fuck than the feelings of your girlfriend.
I’m bothered that she didn’t talk to me like a adult and not acted like a child and start crying...
If she spoke to me and said she was not comfortable.. play would have stop and we could have ended the night politely....
But with her crying , it just left everyone involved feeling unnerved and the night ended badly....
Can you not see the sex didn’t matter that much to me?
Can you not see ...It’s her not being a adult , that I’m upset about "Adults cry. I don't think either of you are particularly at fault but I wasn't actually there and I haven't heard the woman's side of the story though. However a person experienced in swinging would have known to stop as soon as things got too much for them surely. This kind of thing happens. We've met couples socially with a view to swinging at a later date. During the course of chatting it becomes obvious that one or the other isn't keen. Twice we've ignored the tells, twice we've regretted it. It's quite depressing to drive home feeling somehow as if you were in the wrong for taking part in an activity that had been agreed to. If I were you I'd put this down to experience and move on. What comes out of somebody's mouth isn't always what's going on inside their head or necessarily the truth. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
