So here goes I met a girl a few months ago, not on here but out one night and we have had a few let's say dates since, the thing is when we get intimate and we get to foreplay, I'm not allowed to touch her vagina with my fingers, it's a very abrupt No!she says she doesn't like to be touched there I've never experienced this ever! I'm also only allowed to give oral when she's on all fours with me behind her while she plays with her clit, is this a control thing or body confidence? I've tried talking about it but she gets in a right huff saying that is just the way it is! Anyone else experience this any advice welcome, I like her but need a bit more  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ask her. I have things I don't like or can't do with just any one due to incidents in my past.
She could also be hyper sensitive but we aren't her... so don't really know x |
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"So here goes I met a girl a few months ago, not on here but out one night and we have had a few let's say dates since, the thing is when we get intimate and we get to foreplay, I'm not allowed to touch her vagina with my fingers, it's a very abrupt No!she says she doesn't like to be touched there I've never experienced this ever! I'm also only allowed to give oral when she's on all fours with me behind her while she plays with her clit, is this a control thing or body confidence? I've tried talking about it but she gets in a right huff saying that is just the way it is! Anyone else experience this any advice welcome, I like her but need a bit more "
It’s her body, her boundaries OP and if you’re not happy with what she is offering then find another  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Does she allow penetrative sex or is there no sex at all apart from the occasional oral? Does she touch you intimately?
Perhaps there's something in her past that has caused her to be averse to being touched there, the kind of thing she doesn't feel ready to discuss with someone she has only just met.
I suspect this may be a case of showing patience and respect for her wishes and in time perhaps she may be ready to discuss it further if you are still together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So here goes I met a girl a few months ago, not on here but out one night and we have had a few let's say dates since, the thing is when we get intimate and we get to foreplay, I'm not allowed to touch her vagina with my fingers, it's a very abrupt No!she says she doesn't like to be touched there I've never experienced this ever! I'm also only allowed to give oral when she's on all fours with me behind her while she plays with her clit, is this a control thing or body confidence? I've tried talking about it but she gets in a right huff saying that is just the way it is! Anyone else experience this any advice welcome, I like her but need a bit more
It’s her body, her boundaries OP and if you’re not happy with what she is offering then find another "
Absolutely, give her the elbow, er Douglas that's the Isle of Mann isn't it? |
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"Does she allow penetrative sex or is there no sex at all apart from the occasional oral? Does she touch you intimately?
Perhaps there's something in her past that has caused her to be averse to being touched there, the kind of thing she doesn't feel ready to discuss with someone she has only just met.
I suspect this may be a case of showing patience and respect for her wishes and in time perhaps she may be ready to discuss it further if you are still together."
That's about it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So here goes I met a girl a few months ago, not on here but out one night and we have had a few let's say dates since, the thing is when we get intimate and we get to foreplay, I'm not allowed to touch her vagina with my fingers, it's a very abrupt No!she says she doesn't like to be touched there I've never experienced this ever! I'm also only allowed to give oral when she's on all fours with me behind her while she plays with her clit, is this a control thing or body confidence? I've tried talking about it but she gets in a right huff saying that is just the way it is! Anyone else experience this any advice welcome, I like her but need a bit more
It’s her body, her boundaries OP and if you’re not happy with what she is offering then find another "
This.
Maybe she likes it that way, and isn’t keen on finger contact.
With the oral thing maybe that’s her favourite position and the only way to get her off.
It is her body and if she likes things that way she is entitled to say so, if you like her enough maybe you’ll learn to understand or if not, move on. |
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"So here goes I met a girl a few months ago, not on here but out one night and we have had a few let's say dates since, the thing is when we get intimate and we get to foreplay, I'm not allowed to touch her vagina with my fingers, it's a very abrupt No!she says she doesn't like to be touched there I've never experienced this ever! I'm also only allowed to give oral when she's on all fours with me behind her while she plays with her clit, is this a control thing or body confidence? I've tried talking about it but she gets in a right huff saying that is just the way it is! Anyone else experience this any advice welcome, I like her but need a bit more
It’s her body, her boundaries OP and if you’re not happy with what she is offering then find another
Absolutely, give her the elbow, er Douglas that's the Isle of Mann isn't it? "
Who is Douglas?  |
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Douglas, Isle of Man is where I live lol
Some really good advice people think I'll be patient she's great not going to fuck her of over a bit of fingering  your right her body totally respect that.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So here goes I met a girl a few months ago, not on here but out one night and we have had a few let's say dates since, the thing is when we get intimate and we get to foreplay, I'm not allowed to touch her vagina with my fingers, it's a very abrupt No!she says she doesn't like to be touched there I've never experienced this ever! I'm also only allowed to give oral when she's on all fours with me behind her while she plays with her clit, is this a control thing or body confidence? I've tried talking about it but she gets in a right huff saying that is just the way it is! Anyone else experience this any advice welcome, I like her but need a bit more
It’s her body, her boundaries OP and if you’re not happy with what she is offering then find another
Absolutely, give her the elbow, er Douglas that's the Isle of Mann isn't it?
Who is Douglas? "
He's a spider with no legs! |
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Could be so many things ,maybe someone made her squirt once but made her feel bad about it , or she has had a bad experience with unkempt fingery pokeyness or maybe she just plain doesn't like the sensation.
She's the only one that can give you her reasons x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a bad relationship for ten years X sex was bad, non existent, the only person that touched me was myself..
When we did have sex I was never touched!
Now Iam in a great relationship but if she tries to get me hard by touching me or a BJ I just can't rise! Mentally scared! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So here goes I met a girl a few months ago, not on here but out one night and we have had a few let's say dates since, the thing is when we get intimate and we get to foreplay, I'm not allowed to touch her vagina with my fingers, it's a very abrupt No!she says she doesn't like to be touched there I've never experienced this ever! I'm also only allowed to give oral when she's on all fours with me behind her while she plays with her clit, is this a control thing or body confidence? I've tried talking about it but she gets in a right huff saying that is just the way it is! Anyone else experience this any advice welcome, I like her but need a bit more "
Jane here-as others have pointed out, it’s likely she’s had a bad experience. I was like that for a while. It takes trust to allow such things to happen between a new partner and if there’s no relationship beyond meets, you need to respect her boundaries x |
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Thanks Jane hearing this from someone with an experience of this puts my mind at rest, I thought I was doing something wrong, with a bit of time and chat we'll get there don't want to push it and make a massive issue of it.
Slowly Slowly and all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks Jane hearing this from someone with an experience of this puts my mind at rest, I thought I was doing something wrong, with a bit of time and chat we'll get there don't want to push it and make a massive issue of it.
Slowly Slowly and all that "
Sounds like you’re willing to be patient - that’s good to see. I hope it works out for you both x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you ever do decide to bring it up again I would make sure it’s not during/before/after anything sexual is happening. Best to talk about things like that when there’s no pressure.
Though maybe waiting until she’s ready to explain is the best way forward, if you like her then you’ll find a way to accept that and be patient |
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I met a couple where the F was not into receiving oral (fingers or toungue). When she mentioned this I was totally thrown - and tried to discuss why? Past experiences (as suggested above)?
She said no - just she wasn’t into it (in the end I think maybe due to a hyper-hygiene perspective).
But she was quite happy to take each of us in turn - one in her mouth and one in her pussy, alternating. So a good time was had. Just felt rather strange to me - made me realise how much I enjoyed giving oral pleasure!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex wife would never allow me to finger her, she said it was unnatural, disgusting and only a sick person would want to do such a thing, she also had that attitude towards oral - receiving, she'd never give, again refer back to her attitude to fingering, and full sex was considered debasing.
All this came out after we were married, in fact we never actually consummated our marriage. I suggested help, but again she refused.
Little wonder we didn't stay married long.  |
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"My ex wife would never allow me to finger her, she said it was unnatural, disgusting and only a sick person would want to do such a thing, she also had that attitude towards oral - receiving, she'd never give, again refer back to her attitude to fingering, and full sex was considered debasing.
All this came out after we were married, in fact we never actually consummated our marriage. I suggested help, but again she refused.
Little wonder we didn't stay married long. "
That’s really quite sad you couldn’t work it out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ask her. She's the only person who can actually answer your question. If you like her, be patient but just be prepared for the whole possibility of a massive can of worms being opened if she does answer.
Good luck OP |
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