FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Men in clubs
Men in clubs
Jump to: Newest in thread
 | |||
Couldn’t agree more!
Natalie xx | |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"Must depend on the club because this hasn't been our experience at all. Most guys seem very polite, a few a little too pushy, but I have a great time with them. In fact we now only go to clubs on the nights when single guys are allowed - couples-only nights seem a bit cliquey in comparison." I have to agree; I’ve been to some clubs where people have deliberately blanked me, and answered my opening ‘Hi/hello’ with little more than a nod, then turned their head and walked in another direction. I’ve also received the cursory “We’re not interested in single guys”, which is fine. Every club is only ever as good as the people in on the night. For single guys, these places can be character-building | |||
I find that almost all my times when I’ve been at a club as a single and played, have been as a result of speaking in the smoking areas. The bar and public areas can be a bit loud for proper building of conversation and rapport.
I also crave more than just silent play. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of banter during play. Everyone having a laugh as well as great sex. It makes a good sexual liaison a great one. | |||
| |||
"Must depend on the club because this hasn't been our experience at all. Most guys seem very polite, a few a little too pushy, but I have a great time with them. In fact we now only go to clubs on the nights when single guys are allowed - couples-only nights seem a bit cliquey in comparison." Off topic (apologies) but you have an incredible photo gallery. Really tantalising. Love seeing shots that have a bit of effort in them. | |||
| |||
 | |||
"Sorry, it's going to be a little bit of a rant. But hopefully at least some men will take it to heart and make everyone's experience in a swingers club more pleasant. I go to clubs regularly and they can be a bit of a hit and miss, depending on the crowd there. Recently, I have decided that the art of conversation is dead in clubs, and particularly single men appear as if women/couples should be eternally grateful for them just being there, and allow them to play whenever they want. But they are not going to make any effort at all to get picked up, as it seems way too difficult to even just say 'hello'. No, it's much better just to sit there and stare, hoping their looks will attract others. And then moan when they do not get any 'action'. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but just staring without saying a word, not even old-fashioned 'hello' is not attractive, it's creepy. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like that. 'Helping yourselves' when the woman's/couple's guards are down is even worse! So piece of advise for all single guys going to clubs. Please be prepared to talk to people! It doesn't cost anything, and you never know, it might make your club experience (and theirs) so much better! Rant over "I agree that an effort needs to be made, and it counts, and it helps both parties. But that's the thing. There are 2 parties. It's not always the single guys that lack social manners. I have been to clubs and I do try and make the effort, but I am shy to start with, and sometimes find it hard to just walk up to a random group of couples and say hi. And I have been ignored by couples. So it works both ways, not just single guys. | |||
| |||
"Sorry, it's going to be a little bit of a rant. But hopefully at least some men will take it to heart and make everyone's experience in a swingers club more pleasant. I go to clubs regularly and they can be a bit of a hit and miss, depending on the crowd there. Recently, I have decided that the art of conversation is dead in clubs, and particularly single men appear as if women/couples should be eternally grateful for them just being there, and allow them to play whenever they want. But they are not going to make any effort at all to get picked up, as it seems way too difficult to even just say 'hello'. No, it's much better just to sit there and stare, hoping their looks will attract others. And then moan when they do not get any 'action'. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but just staring without saying a word, not even old-fashioned 'hello' is not attractive, it's creepy. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like that. 'Helping yourselves' when the woman's/couple's guards are down is even worse! So piece of advise for all single guys going to clubs. Please be prepared to talk to people! It doesn't cost anything, and you never know, it might make your club experience (and theirs) so much better! Rant over
I agree that an effort needs to be made, and it counts, and it helps both parties. But that's the thing. There are 2 parties. It's not always the single guys that lack social manners. I have been to clubs and I do try and make the effort, but I am shy to start with, and sometimes find it hard to just walk up to a random group of couples and say hi. And I have been ignored by couples.
So it works both ways, not just single guys.
" | |||
| |||
"We will now only go to clubs on a cpls only night because of single men . Sorry to say it lads but a lot of you think paying the entrance fee gives you the right to play well it don’t lol" Anyone not looking for single male interaction, should stick to evenings when single males aren't invited | |||
| |||
"If you ignore the subtle overlay of lots of people naked and fucking in the open, instead treat it like a visit to a National Trust tea room or waiting for a train on the platform the way you interact will be fine "This. | |||
"Sorry, it's going to be a little bit of a rant. But hopefully at least some men will take it to heart and make everyone's experience in a swingers club more pleasant. I go to clubs regularly and they can be a bit of a hit and miss, depending on the crowd there. Recently, I have decided that the art of conversation is dead in clubs, and particularly single men appear as if women/couples should be eternally grateful for them just being there, and allow them to play whenever they want. But they are not going to make any effort at all to get picked up, as it seems way too difficult to even just say 'hello'. No, it's much better just to sit there and stare, hoping their looks will attract others. And then moan when they do not get any 'action'. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but just staring without saying a word, not even old-fashioned 'hello' is not attractive, it's creepy. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like that. 'Helping yourselves' when the woman's/couple's guards are down is even worse! So piece of advise for all single guys going to clubs. Please be prepared to talk to people! It doesn't cost anything, and you never know, it might make your club experience (and theirs) so much better! Rant over
I agree that an effort needs to be made, and it counts, and it helps both parties. But that's the thing. There are 2 parties. It's not always the single guys that lack social manners. I have been to clubs and I do try and make the effort, but I am shy to start with, and sometimes find it hard to just walk up to a random group of couples and say hi. And I have been ignored by couples.
So it works both ways, not just single guys.
" | |||
"The more I see if clubs (and I’m hardly an expert) the more I think it’s just like any other gathering. There’s people of all shapes and sizes, mostly they’re friendly if you’re friendly to them and they are out to have a good time. If you ignore the subtle overlay of lots of people naked and fucking in the open, instead treat it like a visit to a National Trust tea room or waiting for a train on the platform the way you interact will be fine "This made me lol, as one particular club night I attended, was EXACTLY like sitting in a train station waiting room, waiting for a train that never came. Having a Big Issue stand would have made me feel more wanted  | |||
 so I agree with the op, I know it can be scary to approach strangers, but it is worth it 100% | |||
| |||
"I assume it's best to find out first if they are there to play and who with, rather than what they enjoy doing. For example, if a couple are only looking for another couple or a single lady, what they enjoy doing isn't relevant to me as they won't be inviting me to play with them." Definitely save the "Are you here to play?" question until you've got to know them a bit better. Just keep it normal conversation, ask them about their night and then ask them that question. That way you're making new friends and it's all amicable. Will give you confidence too. | |||
" I assume it's best to find out first if they are there to play and who with, rather than what they enjoy doing. For example, if a couple are only looking for another couple or a single lady, what they enjoy doing isn't relevant to me as they won't be inviting me to play with them. Definitely save the "Are you here to play?" question until you've got to know them a bit better. Just keep it normal conversation, ask them about their night and then ask them that question. That way you're making new friends and it's all amicable. Will give you confidence too. " That's what I thought, thank you | |||
"Sorry, it's going to be a little bit of a rant. But hopefully at least some men will take it to heart and make everyone's experience in a swingers club more pleasant. I go to clubs regularly and they can be a bit of a hit and miss, depending on the crowd there. Recently, I have decided that the art of conversation is dead in clubs, and particularly single men appear as if women/couples should be eternally grateful for them just being there, and allow them to play whenever they want. But they are not going to make any effort at all to get picked up, as it seems way too difficult to even just say 'hello'. No, it's much better just to sit there and stare, hoping their looks will attract others. And then moan when they do not get any 'action'. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but just staring without saying a word, not even old-fashioned 'hello' is not attractive, it's creepy. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like that. 'Helping yourselves' when the woman's/couple's guards are down is even worse! So piece of advise for all single guys going to clubs. Please be prepared to talk to people! It doesn't cost anything, and you never know, it might make your club experience (and theirs) so much better! Rant over "we couldn’t have put it better ourselves xx | |||
" One reason i have never gone to clubs -it reminds of being a teenager at school disco - lots of honey men... Conversation is done on phones now in a school disco every one has Bluetooth on thay just msg a name that like lol harder to talk face to face these days " This is exactly the reason i never go to clubs - one time i went years ago - thats all it was - guys getting horny and frustrated. Having said that am going to a club soon so hopefully my experience will be different... | |||
| |||
"Damned if you do dammed if you dont. Us guys are on a hiding to nothing most of the time. It just feels like what ever we do we'll be in the wrong. " Not at all, in fact you couldn’t be more wrong | |||
"Sorry, it's going to be a little bit of a rant. But hopefully at least some men will take it to heart and make everyone's experience in a swingers club more pleasant. I go to clubs regularly and they can be a bit of a hit and miss, depending on the crowd there. Recently, I have decided that the art of conversation is dead in clubs, and particularly single men appear as if women/couples should be eternally grateful for them just being there, and allow them to play whenever they want. But they are not going to make any effort at all to get picked up, as it seems way too difficult to even just say 'hello'. No, it's much better just to sit there and stare, hoping their looks will attract others. And then moan when they do not get any 'action'. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but just staring without saying a word, not even old-fashioned 'hello' is not attractive, it's creepy. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like that. 'Helping yourselves' when the woman's/couple's guards are down is even worse! So piece of advise for all single guys going to clubs. Please be prepared to talk to people! It doesn't cost anything, and you never know, it might make your club experience (and theirs) so much better! Rant over "Absolutely.
Sadly it's the same problem in the German and Spanish clubs.
The crazy thing is that Mrs H has fucked one or two guys that she wouldn't normally look at. Just because they have been one of the very rare few that actually do make the effort and chat her up at the bar.
To all the single guys that go to clubs. Trust us, making the effort does pay dividends. | |||
" I assume it's best to find out first if they are there to play and who with, rather than what they enjoy doing. For example, if a couple are only looking for another couple or a single lady, what they enjoy doing isn't relevant to me as they won't be inviting me to play with them. Definitely save the "Are you here to play?" question until you've got to know them a bit better. Just keep it normal conversation, ask them about their night and then ask them that question. That way you're making new friends and it's all amicable. Will give you confidence too. " This
Very well said. | |||
"Must depend on the club because this hasn't been our experience at all. Most guys seem very polite, a few a little too pushy, but I have a great time with them. In fact we now only go to clubs on the nights when single guys are allowed - couples-only nights seem a bit cliquey in comparison." We agree totally - we have found the majority of single men to be polite, chatty and respectful with just the odd twat but their are twats in all walks of life! We don't go to couples only nights as we feel that single men add to the dynamic | |||
"Damned if you do dammed if you dont. Us guys are on a hiding to nothing most of the time. It just feels like what ever we do we'll be in the wrong. Not at all, in fact you couldn’t be more wrong " Am I? if we attempt to engage in conversation then someone will rant about how overly friendly and annoying we are. If we dont then someone will rant about how arrogant we are and how we think they owe us something. | |||
"Sorry, it's going to be a little bit of a rant. But hopefully at least some men will take it to heart and make everyone's experience in a swingers club more pleasant. I go to clubs regularly and they can be a bit of a hit and miss, depending on the crowd there. Recently, I have decided that the art of conversation is dead in clubs, and particularly single men appear as if women/couples should be eternally grateful for them just being there, and allow them to play whenever they want. But they are not going to make any effort at all to get picked up, as it seems way too difficult to even just say 'hello'. No, it's much better just to sit there and stare, hoping their looks will attract others. And then moan when they do not get any 'action'. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but just staring without saying a word, not even old-fashioned 'hello' is not attractive, it's creepy. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like that. 'Helping yourselves' when the woman's/couple's guards are down is even worse! So piece of advise for all single guys going to clubs. Please be prepared to talk to people! It doesn't cost anything, and you never know, it might make your club experience (and theirs) so much better! Rant over "the catch 22 with this thread is that the people who will probably type back in this thread are probably the ones who do speak.... and the ones who most need this advice are the ones most likely not to read this.... there is one thing i would say about what you wrote.... it takes two!!!!!!!!! so they should speak to you...... but you should also speak to them!!! if you are waiting to be spoken to..... and they are waiting to be spoken to..... then no one is doing anything!!!! proactive, proactive, proactive | |||
| |||
"Damned if you do dammed if you dont. Us guys are on a hiding to nothing most of the time. It just feels like what ever we do we'll be in the wrong. Not at all, in fact you couldn’t be more wrong Am I? if we attempt to engage in conversation then someone will rant about how overly friendly and annoying we are. If we dont then someone will rant about how arrogant we are and how we think they owe us something. " I don’t think anyone would rant about being friendly, but if someone says no then just move on. I think you’re carrying a lot of your own baggage into conversations, you certainly are with this one. Maybe that’s not helping? | |||
"Damned if you do dammed if you dont. Us guys are on a hiding to nothing most of the time. It just feels like what ever we do we'll be in the wrong. Not at all, in fact you couldn’t be more wrong Am I? if we attempt to engage in conversation then someone will rant about how overly friendly and annoying we are. If we dont then someone will rant about how arrogant we are and how we think they owe us something. " i'd rather talk and been seen as a gobshite then not and be seen as a lurker... if you are talking to people will no m.o and others read something into that, thats them, not you!!!! the best way to put your best foot forward is to open your mouth and let sound come out.... as its tough for people to gage your personality thru the art of "mime"...... | |||
"Damned if you do dammed if you dont. Us guys are on a hiding to nothing most of the time. It just feels like what ever we do we'll be in the wrong. Not at all, in fact you couldn’t be more wrong Am I? if we attempt to engage in conversation then someone will rant about how overly friendly and annoying we are. If we dont then someone will rant about how arrogant we are and how we think they owe us something. i'd rather talk and been seen as a gobshite then not and be seen as a lurker... if you are talking to people will no m.o and others read something into that, thats them, not you!!!! the best way to put your best foot forward is to open your mouth and let sound come out.... as its tough for people to gage your personality thru the art of "mime"...... "Love that - “the art of mime” S | |||
"Damned if you do dammed if you dont. Us guys are on a hiding to nothing most of the time. It just feels like what ever we do we'll be in the wrong. Not at all, in fact you couldn’t be more wrong Am I? if we attempt to engage in conversation then someone will rant about how overly friendly and annoying we are. If we dont then someone will rant about how arrogant we are and how we think they owe us something. i'd rather talk and been seen as a gobshite then not and be seen as a lurker... if you are talking to people will no m.o and others read something into that, thats them, not you!!!! the best way to put your best foot forward is to open your mouth and let sound come out.... as its tough for people to gage your personality thru the art of "mime"...... "Best way to move forward fabs is to avoid the ranters | |||
"Sorry, it's going to be a little bit of a rant. But hopefully at least some men will take it to heart and make everyone's experience in a swingers club more pleasant. I go to clubs regularly and they can be a bit of a hit and miss, depending on the crowd there. Recently, I have decided that the art of conversation is dead in clubs, and particularly single men appear as if women/couples should be eternally grateful for them just being there, and allow them to play whenever they want. But they are not going to make any effort at all to get picked up, as it seems way too difficult to even just say 'hello'. No, it's much better just to sit there and stare, hoping their looks will attract others. And then moan when they do not get any 'action'. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but just staring without saying a word, not even old-fashioned 'hello' is not attractive, it's creepy. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like that. 'Helping yourselves' when the woman's/couple's guards are down is even worse! So piece of advise for all single guys going to clubs. Please be prepared to talk to people! It doesn't cost anything, and you never know, it might make your club experience (and theirs) so much better! Rant over
the catch 22 with this thread is that the people who will probably type back in this thread are probably the ones who do speak.... and the ones who most need this advice are the ones most likely not to read this....
there is one thing i would say about what you wrote....
it takes two!!!!!!!!!
so they should speak to you...... but you should also speak to them!!!
if you are waiting to be spoken to..... and they are waiting to be spoken to..... then no one is doing anything!!!!
proactive, proactive, proactive"Of course but with reservations. We/she regularly make the first move if she sees a guy she likes. However that is part of the problem "if she sees a guy she likes" It's the guys who are a bit (to put it politely) middle of the road that she normally wouldn't make the first move on, but if they made a bit of an effort it would reap rewards. Remember that in a swinger club a woman doesn't often have any difficulty finding fun, but it's the complete opposite for the vast majority of single guys. Also remember that in the vanilla world men have chatted up women for years, it isn't really the natural thing for a woman to chat up a guy. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Sorry, it's going to be a little bit of a rant. But hopefully at least some men will take it to heart and make everyone's experience in a swingers club more pleasant. I go to clubs regularly and they can be a bit of a hit and miss, depending on the crowd there. Recently, I have decided that the art of conversation is dead in clubs, and particularly single men appear as if women/couples should be eternally grateful for them just being there, and allow them to play whenever they want. But they are not going to make any effort at all to get picked up, as it seems way too difficult to even just say 'hello'. No, it's much better just to sit there and stare, hoping their looks will attract others. And then moan when they do not get any 'action'. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but just staring without saying a word, not even old-fashioned 'hello' is not attractive, it's creepy. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like that. 'Helping yourselves' when the woman's/couple's guards are down is even worse! So piece of advise for all single guys going to clubs. Please be prepared to talk to people! It doesn't cost anything, and you never know, it might make your club experience (and theirs) so much better! Rant over
the catch 22 with this thread is that the people who will probably type back in this thread are probably the ones who do speak.... and the ones who most need this advice are the ones most likely not to read this....
there is one thing i would say about what you wrote....
it takes two!!!!!!!!!
so they should speak to you...... but you should also speak to them!!!
if you are waiting to be spoken to..... and they are waiting to be spoken to..... then no one is doing anything!!!!
proactive, proactive, proactive
Of course but with reservations.
We/she regularly make the first move if she sees a guy she likes.
However that is part of the problem "if she sees a guy she likes"
It's the guys who are a bit (to put it politely) middle of the road that she normally wouldn't make the first move on, but if they made a bit of an effort it would reap rewards.
Remember that in a swinger club a woman doesn't often have any difficulty finding fun, but it's the complete opposite for the vast majority of single guys.
Also remember that in the vanilla world men have chatted up women for years, it isn't really the natural thing for a woman to chat up a guy."A female friend of mine was just talking about this only yesterday! She has only been to one club, and had a whale of a time, playing with four different guys over the course of the afternoon. As she was getting changed to leave (worn out lol), a single guy was in there, and commented “No luck for me again”. She felt sorry to be leaving, as she would have brightened his day, but time for her was short. She was one of few ladies in there, among a good selection of guys. | |||
"Ive been as a single male for the last 2 weeks to Atlantis, cracking club and met some amazing people there, even got to play both times too. But I would totally agree, don't isolate yourself, get to the bar, be sociable and interact, people are so friendly when you do. " Haha! Yep, I remember being at the bar in Atlantis, being sociable and interacting with others. Admittedly, it was a quiet night when I was there | |||
| |||
