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If all messages were honest...

By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Hi I live the other side of the country but I saw you online late at night so I thought you must be gagging to chat to someone. Lucky you it’s little old me who’s chosen to help you! While I’m at it fancy talking dirty while I wank off?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi I live the other side of the country but I saw you online late at night so I thought you must be gagging to chat to someone. Lucky you it’s little old me who’s chosen to help you! While I’m at it fancy talking dirty while I wank off?

You had me at Hi

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just had 3 of those come through "just this minute"

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Hi I know I'm far away but I'm moving to your area soon. Can we get to know each other? Well im not really moving but I really need some new wank material from someone safely hundreds of miles away.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi, I just want to fuck you, if you're not interested I'm just going to jerk off to your pictures.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well I can't say I've ever received one off these messages now I'm feeling left out

You ladies have literally got the rough end of the stick

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Last night I got 'I'm wanking over your pics'.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your profile is as barren as the sahara in the high of summer and I'm trying to figure out a witty way of breaking the ice without being generic

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By *ySweetLadyWoman over a year ago

London

I must add that I quite like it when I get a truly honest message like that.

It makes for a refreshing change from the “I'd like to know you better. Can you send more pics please?” that often populate my inbox.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me, it would mostly be:

Hi, you have an interesting profile or pictures. Hope you are as interesting in person and we can work something out which I would of course like to end in a shag

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By *iSTARessWoman over a year ago

London

I'm currently in a hotel near you. I'm married but we don't have sex anymore. I've no interest in pleasing you or chatting, I just need my balls emptying and too tight to pay for an escort.

Please peruse the six knob pics attached.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm currently in a hotel near you. I'm married but we don't have sex anymore. I've no interest in pleasing you or chatting, I just need my balls emptying and too tight to pay for an escort.

Please peruse the six knob pics attached."

I don't know why you would complain at that! 6 is more than ample fare, I wouldn't give 2.

Don't get me started on pretending to be an escort, offer of real life experience too

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By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I’m desperate to get laid. You’re not my type but I’ll make do. How lucky are you?!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi I know I'm far away but I'm moving to your area soon. Can we get to know each other? Well im not really moving but I really need some new wank material from someone safely hundreds of miles away. "

Damn it i was getting excited then

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By *VBethTV/TS over a year ago

Chester

I've always wanted to meet a TV and you look hot. I've no intention of actually meeting you but will set a time and date for this fictitious meet while I wank myself silly then block you or go UNLOS.

This will help to lower your chances of a proper meet with a genuine person. Can't wait to hear from you babe. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I read your profile. Not really, I'm just hoping that you're stupid enough for me to blag it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hey there what have you got planned for today? Maybe we can come up with something fun

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By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I read your profile. Not really, I'm just hoping that you're stupid enough for me to blag it. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't give a shit how you are nor care how you feel about the current hot weather spell we are having.

Do you have pictures I could toss off to?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have my own office. Actually I have the keys to my mate's lock up but I'm not telling you that until we get there

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Do we have to have a social, can't we just fuck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have my own office. Actually I have the keys to my mate's lock up but I'm not telling you that until we get there "

This just has to be true

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had one this morning just saying "I'm Horny"

Could not think I a good reply . And even if I said no . I just get back "you know this is a sex site"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My love doll has a puncture. I want to ruin you instead. This means I will be balls deep in 5 seconds and emptying my sack load in 10.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My love doll has a puncture. I want to ruin you instead. This means I will be balls deep in 5 seconds and emptying my sack load in 10.

Is that including fourplay?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My love doll has a puncture. I want to ruin you instead. This means I will be balls deep in 5 seconds and emptying my sack load in 10.

Is that including fourplay?

Think they’d like Four people playing

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By *reenleavesCouple over a year ago

North Wales

I'm hastily bashing out this message whilst my partner is having a poo. I won't be able to reply until they've gone to sleep. Nice tits, check out my cock.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m desperate to get laid. You’re not my type but I’ll make do. How lucky are you?!!"

Once got would love to fuck you but don't find you attractive enough to lick your pussy! What a bellend! Hit the block button x

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By *etLikeMan over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

"Your profile is as barren as the sahara in the high of summer and I'm trying to figure out a witty way of breaking the ice without being generic"

I’m very tempted to use this one

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By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I really don’t give a toss who you are or what you look like as long as I can stick my cock in ya. Up for it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m desperate to get laid. You’re not my type but I’ll make do. How lucky are you?!!

Once got would love to fuck you but don't find you attractive enough to lick your pussy! What a bellend! Hit the block button x"

OMG wow that's so bad.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

You're old and I wouldn't normally even consider someone your age but I suspect you'll be grateful that a younger bloke has even looked at you. You'll do until a younger woman agrees to meet me.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You're female, verified and have a pulse so your pussy is probably warm. Here's a generic meaningless compliment. Can you put yourself significantly out of your way so I can gratify myself? Nothing in it for you. You're a slag either way and I'll lose my shit if you don't do what I say.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

'I like dirty chat'

I feel like replying 'no one cares'

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By *anillastickMan over a year ago

Sutton

I'm currently stroking one out over your pictures... want to meet? If you say yes I'll get so excited I'll shoot my load all over my keyboard and you'll never hear from me again. If you say no I'll shoot my load all over the keyboard anyway and then tell you how rude it is to refuse me.

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By *ucilleWoman over a year ago

Newcastle Upon Tyne

"I'm currently stroking one out over your pictures... want to meet? If you say yes I'll get so excited I'll shoot my load all over my keyboard and you'll never hear from me again. If you say no I'll shoot my load all over the keyboard anyway and then tell you how rude it is to refuse me."

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Reading is hard and I'm lazy, but I like pictures and you seem to be female and have a pulse. Here's a generic message. I expect you to be falling all over me in half an hour.

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By *icassolifelikeMan over a year ago

Luton

Your fat and your boobs are in shit state and, if I’m being honest you’d be 5/10 normally. Even the birds in the Falklands are a 7/10 after a 4 month stint and you wouldn’t make that. But I’d really like to get to know you as I think there’s chemistry. I feel that “spark” you mention..............fancy a fuck?

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By *icassolifelikeMan over a year ago

Luton

"Last night I got 'I'm wanking over your pics'. "

And? Least I told you!

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"Your fat and your boobs are in shit state and, if I’m being honest you’d be 5/10 normally. Even the birds in the Falklands are a 7/10 after a 4 month stint and you wouldn’t make that. But I’d really like to get to know you as I think there’s chemistry. I feel that “spark” you mention..............fancy a fuck?

Well it’s nice to be noticed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuck me you are gorgeous . Even though you are just a silloette and you have no public pics .

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

Hi, I'm going to ask you to meet now, not understanding that TVs can't meet at the drop of a hat. I also haven't attached a face photo and I have a blank profile.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple over a year ago

Planet Ork

We have heard worse

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was going to have a wank but I'm feeling knackered so I'm looking for someone, anyone, to come round and do the work for me. I won't need you for long

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm a Dom, well I say Dom, I've read that book and seen the films and therefore must qualify as one. Now get on your knees bitch and suck me dry while I spank your backside without any due care and attention other than to leave as many bruises as I can. Oh and if you don't swallow you can't be a "true" sub - I read that bit on the internet and it must be right as a "true" Dom wrote it. And don't forget to call me Sir while I face fuck you without asking if you like it.

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By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I'm a Dom, well I say Dom, I've read that book and seen the films and therefore must qualify as one. Now get on your knees bitch and suck me dry while I spank your backside without any due care and attention other than to leave as many bruises as I can. Oh and if you don't swallow you can't be a "true" sub - I read that bit on the internet and it must be right as a "true" Dom wrote it. And don't forget to call me Sir while I face fuck you without asking if you like it."

I’ve had so many of these I can’t believe how true you made it

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

So what if I've just come out the pub pissed up, it's your duty, as a slut (you're on this site so you must be) what was I saying?

Oh yeah, it's your duty as a slut to meet me, at mine, so I don't have to move or make any effort, and enjoy my beer breath and sack emptying. I couldn't give a fuck if you enjoy it or not, but you must do, that's why you're on this site right.

My mate can join in too coz we're too lazy and pissed to try and get 2 sluts here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like to think im honest with what i send as im not gonna chase hard so i dont need to chat shit

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Ouch, too close to real messages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So what if I've just come out the pub pissed up, it's your duty, as a slut (you're on this site so you must be) what was I saying?

My mate can join in too coz we're too lazy and pissed to try and get 2 sluts here."
have you just copied and pasted my last message to a lady

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By *arge Hardon ColliderMan over a year ago

Not far away

Hi, I've seriously had to lower my sights due to the sheer numbers of guys on here that'll fuck anything that moves.

I really can't be arsed to go out and and try to pull a fit bird and saw you on here and thought "you'd do".

.....This is not me, by the way!

I'm lovely

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I need a girlfriend. By girlfriend I mean someone who does as I tell her, I shag her sometimes, and have my normal life the rest. She's going to be at my beck and call always. I'm going to pretend to have read your profile but suggest something crass you specifically say you'll never do. If I use frilly language you can't possibly turn my irresistible offer down, right?

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"So what if I've just come out the pub pissed up, it's your duty, as a slut (you're on this site so you must be) what was I saying?

My mate can join in too coz we're too lazy and pissed to try and get 2 sluts here. have you just copied and pasted my last message to a lady

I merely read your mind

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So what if I've just come out the pub pissed up, it's your duty, as a slut (you're on this site so you must be) what was I saying?

My mate can join in too coz we're too lazy and pissed to try and get 2 sluts here. have you just copied and pasted my last message to a lady

I merely read your mind

"
if you could read my mind it would make your eyes water

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"So what if I've just come out the pub pissed up, it's your duty, as a slut (you're on this site so you must be) what was I saying?

My mate can join in too coz we're too lazy and pissed to try and get 2 sluts here. have you just copied and pasted my last message to a lady

I merely read your mind

if you could read my mind it would make your eyes water

Like I've bumped my nose or like I'm full on crying?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So what if I've just come out the pub pissed up, it's your duty, as a slut (you're on this site so you must be) what was I saying?

My mate can join in too coz we're too lazy and pissed to try and get 2 sluts here. have you just copied and pasted my last message to a lady

I merely read your mind

if you could read my mind it would make your eyes water

Like I've bumped my nose or like I'm full on crying?"
No we are talking weeping here

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"So what if I've just come out the pub pissed up, it's your duty, as a slut (you're on this site so you must be) what was I saying?

My mate can join in too coz we're too lazy and pissed to try and get 2 sluts here. have you just copied and pasted my last message to a lady

I merely read your mind

if you could read my mind it would make your eyes water

Like I've bumped my nose or like I'm full on crying? No we are talking weeping here "

Shall I change my name to willow?

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