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BDSM Chat 3
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Please adhere to forum rules including no talking of any bruising or marking, no links or mentioned of other kinky sites (and apparently now recommending places to buy stuff too?). Otherwise tag in and keep the kinky convo going |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tagging in...
I actually write a kink blog.. but I can’t link to it obvs lol.
So message me if you want the details  "
Tagging in!
Would also love to read your blog  |
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By *ill74Man
over a year ago
New forest area |
"Tagging in...
I actually write a kink blog.. but I can’t link to it obvs lol.
So message me if you want the details "
I can't message you. Can you message me with the details please?
Thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So what BDSM is everyone into?
We only dabble on and off with the paddles and rope etc. More about the brat and tamer dynamic for us. I dont "play act" being a brat. Its a natural position for me.
Today i have been punished because i defied him. So instead of spanking me (he knows i like it) no sex for a whole week  . So im sulking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what BDSM is everyone into?
We only dabble on and off with the paddles and rope etc. More about the brat and tamer dynamic for us. I dont "play act" being a brat. Its a natural position for me.
Today i have been punished because i defied him. So instead of spanking me (he knows i like it) no sex for a whole week . So im sulking "
BD - Bondage and discipline
DS - domination and submission |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadomasochistic switch..
Domme with women switchable with men. Different type of sub with different people. Often bratty, sometimes more into DD/lg.
Bondage and S&M my favourite forms of play but involved in a lot of types of kink. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Tagging in before O&I later "
Enjoy O&I, I had planned to go as it is LAM on tour a lot of good people are going.
However as a last minute event, I was at Swish at Hellfire last night and have had to put my toys in the fridge to recover! Also I am not sure I can face the traffic travelling from West London to Fawkham.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All these lovley diffrent tastes and dynamics. Think its great people are becoming more open about it all. And its great to learn about all this stuff too i think
Mr gets it more than me. I just do wjat i enjoy and dont over think things hahaha
All about immediate gratification for me lmao  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
So lots of people tagging in but no real conversation so to speak - so a question for you all - what for you makes a perfect Dom or sub (obviously answer from your own perspective or if switchy or a couple) feel free to cover both angles.
For me as a natural submissive a Dom/me has to be the ying to my yang - someone that considers me an equal but knows how to take my control and use it wisely and with respect, who takes time to get to know my needs and desires as a submissive and who clearly communicates their own desires as a Dom/me - someone who fully understands (and demonstrates they do!!) the dynamic but doesn't necessarily have to be experienced. As with swinging chemistry and connection are important to me, without them I honestly don't think it would work - I can't define it clearly but I'd also need to "feel" submissive to a Dom/me for it to work and be something more than just "kink play".
Obviously there's a whole lot more to it than that which gets into specific elements and likes/dislikes but that in a nutshell would be my ideal Dom/me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So lots of people tagging in but no real conversation so to speak - so a question for you all - what for you makes a perfect Dom or sub (obviously answer from your own perspective or if switchy or a couple) feel free to cover both angles.
For me as a natural submissive a Dom/me has to be the ying to my yang - someone that considers me an equal but knows how to take my control and use it wisely and with respect, who takes time to get to know my needs and desires as a submissive and who clearly communicates their own desires as a Dom/me - someone who fully understands (and demonstrates they do!!) the dynamic but doesn't necessarily have to be experienced. As with swinging chemistry and connection are important to me, without them I honestly don't think it would work - I can't define it clearly but I'd also need to "feel" submissive to a Dom/me for it to work and be something more than just "kink play".
Obviously there's a whole lot more to it than that which gets into specific elements and likes/dislikes but that in a nutshell would be my ideal Dom/me"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So lots of people tagging in but no real conversation so to speak - so a question for you all - what for you makes a perfect Dom or sub (obviously answer from your own perspective or if switchy or a couple) feel free to cover both angles.
For me as a natural submissive a Dom/me has to be the ying to my yang - someone that considers me an equal but knows how to take my control and use it wisely and with respect, who takes time to get to know my needs and desires as a submissive and who clearly communicates their own desires as a Dom/me - someone who fully understands (and demonstrates they do!!) the dynamic but doesn't necessarily have to be experienced. As with swinging chemistry and connection are important to me, without them I honestly don't think it would work - I can't define it clearly but I'd also need to "feel" submissive to a Dom/me for it to work and be something more than just "kink play".
Obviously there's a whole lot more to it than that which gets into specific elements and likes/dislikes but that in a nutshell would be my ideal Dom/me"
Very well put. I feel whatever side you fall on, it's usually deep inside. I know you can learn and gain experience but most is already there. You just need the right other half to bring it out. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"So lots of people tagging in but no real conversation so to speak - so a question for you all - what for you makes a perfect Dom or sub (obviously answer from your own perspective or if switchy or a couple) feel free to cover both angles.
For me as a natural submissive a Dom/me has to be the ying to my yang - someone that considers me an equal but knows how to take my control and use it wisely and with respect, who takes time to get to know my needs and desires as a submissive and who clearly communicates their own desires as a Dom/me - someone who fully understands (and demonstrates they do!!) the dynamic but doesn't necessarily have to be experienced. As with swinging chemistry and connection are important to me, without them I honestly don't think it would work - I can't define it clearly but I'd also need to "feel" submissive to a Dom/me for it to work and be something more than just "kink play".
Obviously there's a whole lot more to it than that which gets into specific elements and likes/dislikes but that in a nutshell would be my ideal Dom/me
Very well put. I feel whatever side you fall on, it's usually deep inside. I know you can learn and gain experience but most is already there. You just need the right other half to bring it out."
Exactly that - finding the right "other piece of the jigsaw" is the key
Mind you, I can still remember back in the early days of the internet when I "discovered" and began to understand BDSM beyond the tabloid version of it, and had that Eureka moment where finally I could make sense of all those feelings I'd had for years but didn't really recognise for what they were |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So lots of people tagging in but no real conversation so to speak - so a question for you all - what for you makes a perfect Dom or sub (obviously answer from your own perspective or if switchy or a couple) feel free to cover both angles.
For me as a natural submissive a Dom/me has to be the ying to my yang - someone that considers me an equal but knows how to take my control and use it wisely and with respect, who takes time to get to know my needs and desires as a submissive and who clearly communicates their own desires as a Dom/me - someone who fully understands (and demonstrates they do!!) the dynamic but doesn't necessarily have to be experienced. As with swinging chemistry and connection are important to me, without them I honestly don't think it would work - I can't define it clearly but I'd also need to "feel" submissive to a Dom/me for it to work and be something more than just "kink play".
Obviously there's a whole lot more to it than that which gets into specific elements and likes/dislikes but that in a nutshell would be my ideal Dom/me
Very well put. I feel whatever side you fall on, it's usually deep inside. I know you can learn and gain experience but most is already there. You just need the right other half to bring it out.
Exactly that - finding the right "other piece of the jigsaw" is the key
Mind you, I can still remember back in the early days of the internet when I "discovered" and began to understand BDSM beyond the tabloid version of it, and had that Eureka moment where finally I could make sense of all those feelings I'd had for years but didn't really recognise for what they were "
That Eureka moment is certainly amazing |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
If a dom/me were to be inconsistent, uncooperative, and unreliable they would rightly be censured. However for many subs being bratty is worn as a badge of honour. Personally I have no time brats and I thought I was in a camp of one. However I read Midori's book 'Wild Side Sex'and she has no time for bratty behaviour. Also on a thread on the unmentionable site I found a thread where a number of dom/mes were of the same view as me.
So bratty behaviour is it just playful fun or an attempt to top from the bottom? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"If a dom/me were to be inconsistent, uncooperative, and unreliable they would rightly be censured. However for many subs being bratty is worn as a badge of honour. Personally I have no time brats and I thought I was in a camp of one. However I read Midori's book 'Wild Side Sex'and she has no time for bratty behaviour. Also on a thread on the unmentionable site I found a thread where a number of dom/mes were of the same view as me.
So bratty behaviour is it just playful fun or an attempt to top from the bottom?"
I think it can be both to be honest - horses for courses and all that - can understand why people would have no time for it, but can also see why it might appeal to others - as usual it's about two people with similar views finding each other and that connection and chemistry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a dom/me were to be inconsistent, uncooperative, and unreliable they would rightly be censured. However for many subs being bratty is worn as a badge of honour. Personally I have no time brats and I thought I was in a camp of one. However I read Midori's book 'Wild Side Sex'and she has no time for bratty behaviour. Also on a thread on the unmentionable site I found a thread where a number of dom/mes were of the same view as me.
So bratty behaviour is it just playful fun or an attempt to top from the bottom?"
I agree that it's a combination of the two. For me personally brat like behaviour is something I'd only exhibit in private because I find other peoples brattish behaviour annoying.
I suppose it depends on the relationship with their Dom/me. I do like up be indulged every once in a while. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"If a dom/me were to be inconsistent, uncooperative, and unreliable they would rightly be censured. However for many subs being bratty is worn as a badge of honour. Personally I have no time brats and I thought I was in a camp of one. However I read Midori's book 'Wild Side Sex'and she has no time for bratty behaviour. Also on a thread on the unmentionable site I found a thread where a number of dom/mes were of the same view as me.
So bratty behaviour is it just playful fun or an attempt to top from the bottom?
I agree that it's a combination of the two. For me personally brat like behaviour is something I'd only exhibit in private because I find other peoples brattish behaviour annoying.
I suppose it depends on the relationship with their Dom/me. I do like up be indulged every once in a while. "
I suppose it is a "where and when" balance?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a dom/me were to be inconsistent, uncooperative, and unreliable they would rightly be censured. However for many subs being bratty is worn as a badge of honour. Personally I have no time brats and I thought I was in a camp of one. However I read Midori's book 'Wild Side Sex'and she has no time for bratty behaviour. Also on a thread on the unmentionable site I found a thread where a number of dom/mes were of the same view as me.
So bratty behaviour is it just playful fun or an attempt to top from the bottom?
I agree that it's a combination of the two. For me personally brat like behaviour is something I'd only exhibit in private because I find other peoples brattish behaviour annoying.
I suppose it depends on the relationship with their Dom/me. I do like up be indulged every once in a while.
I suppose it is a "where and when" balance?
"
Exactly. For me I represent my Dom and he represents me when we're in public. Therefore I should be the best reflection of him and behave myself. A whole day of behaving though could result in a lot of pent up silliness and brattishness as soon as we got behind closed doors.. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"If a dom/me were to be inconsistent, uncooperative, and unreliable they would rightly be censured. However for many subs being bratty is worn as a badge of honour. Personally I have no time brats and I thought I was in a camp of one. However I read Midori's book 'Wild Side Sex'and she has no time for bratty behaviour. Also on a thread on the unmentionable site I found a thread where a number of dom/mes were of the same view as me.
So bratty behaviour is it just playful fun or an attempt to top from the bottom?
I agree that it's a combination of the two. For me personally brat like behaviour is something I'd only exhibit in private because I find other peoples brattish behaviour annoying.
I suppose it depends on the relationship with their Dom/me. I do like up be indulged every once in a while.
I suppose it is a "where and when" balance?
Exactly. For me I represent my Dom and he represents me when we're in public. Therefore I should be the best reflection of him and behave myself. A whole day of behaving though could result in a lot of pent up silliness and brattishness as soon as we got behind closed doors.. "
As Gemini Man said earlier if you are in a relationship and both accept the pattern, then it may be acceptable. However if two people are trying to form a relationship or if it is a behaviour that comes out of the blue it may not be so acceptable.
Thanks. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"If a dom/me were to be inconsistent, uncooperative, and unreliable they would rightly be censured. However for many subs being bratty is worn as a badge of honour. Personally I have no time brats and I thought I was in a camp of one. However I read Midori's book 'Wild Side Sex'and she has no time for bratty behaviour. Also on a thread on the unmentionable site I found a thread where a number of dom/mes were of the same view as me.
So bratty behaviour is it just playful fun or an attempt to top from the bottom?
I agree that it's a combination of the two. For me personally brat like behaviour is something I'd only exhibit in private because I find other peoples brattish behaviour annoying.
I suppose it depends on the relationship with their Dom/me. I do like up be indulged every once in a while.
I suppose it is a "where and when" balance?
Exactly. For me I represent my Dom and he represents me when we're in public. Therefore I should be the best reflection of him and behave myself. A whole day of behaving though could result in a lot of pent up silliness and brattishness as soon as we got behind closed doors..
As Gemini Man said earlier if you are in a relationship and both accept the pattern, then it may be acceptable. However if two people are trying to form a relationship or if it is a behaviour that comes out of the blue it may not be so acceptable.
Thanks."
That's why it's of paramount importance to discuss things like styles and expectations up front and not be afraid to be completely open and honest.
There is no single definition of a D/s relationship other than the one agreed between two (or more) consenting adults - the key being what may work for one relationship may not necessarily work for another |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"Tagging in...
I actually write a kink blog.. but I can’t link to it obvs lol.
So message me if you want the details
Wpuld love to read it "
I can’t message you... message me if you want the link |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"
There is no single definition of a D/s relationship other than the one agreed between two (or more) consenting adults - the key being what may work for one relationship may not necessarily work for another "
This is very true...clearly setting out the boundaries and the type of dynamic that works for you is so important.
I’m not a brat, could never be, as that dynamic almost challenges the Dom to discipline you on a regular basis as you act out. Discipline equals disappointment in you and that makes my chest literally quiver in sadness.
I’m primal though, which for me is about being dominant...but willing to acquiesce to someone more dominant than myself. If you have the stones to come up against me and win, then I’ll happily pass control to you but there’s conflict beforehand and plenty of it. This rubs a lot of traditional master/mentor-type Doms up the wrong way as they assume I’m being bratty and/or trying to top from the bottom - which couldn’t be further from the truth.
The issue I’ve found by being up front with all this from the get go is Doms assuming that either a) I’ve not met the right Dom yet to make me their perfect little sub (and of course they’re the right Dom for the job) or b) that being sub, I should just shut up and behave like a good girl because that’s how it’s *supposed* to be or they’ll punish me until I break  .
We all have to be true to ourselves at the end of the day. Find out what works for you, recognise it and seek out its companion in others. For me, it is someone who celebrates my strength while challenging me on a daily basis to be faster/stronger/smarter. For others it will be a desire to be guided or tamed or protected.
|
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
There is no single definition of a D/s relationship other than the one agreed between two (or more) consenting adults - the key being what may work for one relationship may not necessarily work for another
This is very true...clearly setting out the boundaries and the type of dynamic that works for you is so important.
I’m not a brat, could never be, as that dynamic almost challenges the Dom to discipline you on a regular basis as you act out. Discipline equals disappointment in you and that makes my chest literally quiver in sadness.
I’m primal though, which for me is about being dominant...but willing to acquiesce to someone more dominant than myself. If you have the stones to come up against me and win, then I’ll happily pass control to you but there’s conflict beforehand and plenty of it. This rubs a lot of traditional master/mentor-type Doms up the wrong way as they assume I’m being bratty and/or trying to top from the bottom - which couldn’t be further from the truth.
The issue I’ve found by being up front with all this from the get go is Doms assuming that either a) I’ve not met the right Dom yet to make me their perfect little sub (and of course they’re the right Dom for the job) or b) that being sub, I should just shut up and behave like a good girl because that’s how it’s *supposed* to be or they’ll punish me until I break .
We all have to be true to ourselves at the end of the day. Find out what works for you, recognise it and seek out its companion in others. For me, it is someone who celebrates my strength while challenging me on a daily basis to be faster/stronger/smarter. For others it will be a desire to be guided or tamed or protected.
"
Wise words indeed |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"
There is no single definition of a D/s relationship other than the one agreed between two (or more) consenting adults - the key being what may work for one relationship may not necessarily work for another
This is very true...clearly setting out the boundaries and the type of dynamic that works for you is so important.
I’m not a brat, could never be, as that dynamic almost challenges the Dom to discipline you on a regular basis as you act out. Discipline equals disappointment in you and that makes my chest literally quiver in sadness.
I’m primal though, which for me is about being dominant...but willing to acquiesce to someone more dominant than myself. If you have the stones to come up against me and win, then I’ll happily pass control to you but there’s conflict beforehand and plenty of it. This rubs a lot of traditional master/mentor-type Doms up the wrong way as they assume I’m being bratty and/or trying to top from the bottom - which couldn’t be further from the truth.
The issue I’ve found by being up front with all this from the get go is Doms assuming that either a) I’ve not met the right Dom yet to make me their perfect little sub (and of course they’re the right Dom for the job) or b) that being sub, I should just shut up and behave like a good girl because that’s how it’s *supposed* to be or they’ll punish me until I break .
We all have to be true to ourselves at the end of the day. Find out what works for you, recognise it and seek out its companion in others. For me, it is someone who celebrates my strength while challenging me on a daily basis to be faster/stronger/smarter. For others it will be a desire to be guided or tamed or protected.
"
Again, I would not disagree.
However my original point was why is brattiness seen as something to be celebrated where the same behaviour in a dom would be criticised.
It is one position for a sub to say upfront if you want my submission you have to prove your dominance. It is different position for the sub to misbehave and be unco-operative.
I can accept that as a fundamental principle of kink different couples have a different a dynamic. I accept brattiness works for some people.
But I am still not convinced that bad behaviour should be accepted generally as a positive.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Without butting in and having not read all this thread but as a Bratt i just want to say from my veiw point - being a bratt isnt always about "acting out" i dont act out to be punished at all.
Its about fun and challanging not only your Dom but also yourself to keep things fun and be creative in how you grab his attention.
There is a time and a place to be a bratt. I would never be a bratt in a club or dungeon as a lot of people dont "get it" and dont understand the dynamic behind it. |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"
There is no single definition of a D/s relationship other than the one agreed between two (or more) consenting adults - the key being what may work for one relationship may not necessarily work for another
This is very true...clearly setting out the boundaries and the type of dynamic that works for you is so important.
I’m not a brat, could never be, as that dynamic almost challenges the Dom to discipline you on a regular basis as you act out. Discipline equals disappointment in you and that makes my chest literally quiver in sadness.
I’m primal though, which for me is about being dominant...but willing to acquiesce to someone more dominant than myself. If you have the stones to come up against me and win, then I’ll happily pass control to you but there’s conflict beforehand and plenty of it. This rubs a lot of traditional master/mentor-type Doms up the wrong way as they assume I’m being bratty and/or trying to top from the bottom - which couldn’t be further from the truth.
The issue I’ve found by being up front with all this from the get go is Doms assuming that either a) I’ve not met the right Dom yet to make me their perfect little sub (and of course they’re the right Dom for the job) or b) that being sub, I should just shut up and behave like a good girl because that’s how it’s *supposed* to be or they’ll punish me until I break .
We all have to be true to ourselves at the end of the day. Find out what works for you, recognise it and seek out its companion in others. For me, it is someone who celebrates my strength while challenging me on a daily basis to be faster/stronger/smarter. For others it will be a desire to be guided or tamed or protected.
Again, I would not disagree.
However my original point was why is brattiness seen as something to be celebrated where the same behaviour in a dom would be criticised.
It is one position for a sub to say upfront if you want my submission you have to prove your dominance. It is different position for the sub to misbehave and be unco-operative.
I can accept that as a fundamental principle of kink different couples have a different a dynamic. I accept brattiness works for some people.
But I am still not convinced that bad behaviour should be accepted generally as a positive.
"
Completely agree, Zen! Apologies, I was adressing Gem’s point about communication being key...I generally see brattiness as quite a destructive behavioural pattern...repeatedly forcing someone to take corrective action for the sake of being disciplined seems like a waste of energy from the outside.
A friend of mine who’s a little brat once hid a handful of sparkle glitter in her hand before a blowjob at a party and at the crucial moment pulled away and threw it over her Dom’s cock.
The look on his face did make me cackle, I’m not going to deny it . Then again, the look on her face when she got a hiding also made me laugh.
If it works for them, I suppose it’s all gravy. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Without butting in and having not read all this thread but as a Bratt i just want to say from my veiw point - being a bratt isnt always about "acting out" i dont act out to be punished at all.
Its about fun and challanging not only your Dom but also yourself to keep things fun and be creative in how you grab his attention.
There is a time and a place to be a bratt. I would never be a bratt in a club or dungeon as a lot of people dont "get it" and dont understand the dynamic behind it. "
Thank you for responding.
So similar to KeishaNWE you are saying that when people say they are brats, within that is they give respect outside when they are representing there dom/me, but are a bit of cheekie chappie at home.
They see themselves more as hi jinks jokers rather than a malevolent force.
In which case I can see why people would be proud to call themselves brats (although they are still not my cup of Oolong). |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Hi LisaB
Hello 
A quiet night for deviants here!
Gag works then
Lol too much tying and gags being used for people to comment.
Tied, you say? "
I am always up for doing some tying. I always bring rope and my mini poi floggers when I go to a club.
There are quite a few knotty people here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For anyone interested in learning rope based in the north you might be interested in this https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/785200
Good Luck! "
Meep ! Much excite for this ! |
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"For anyone interested in learning rope based in the north you might be interested in this https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/785200
Good Luck! "
Thank you! Much needed in Hull - even if only for my own sanity! But lots seem interested and got interest from far afield |
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"For anyone interested in learning rope based in the north you might be interested in this https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/785200
Good Luck!
Meep ! Much excite for this !"
Me too squeee! Would be great if you can come down for this |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"For anyone interested in learning rope based in the north you might be interested in this https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/785200
Good Luck!
Thank you! Much needed in Hull - even if only for my own sanity! But lots seem interested and got interest from far afield "
I saw on the other side a lot of interest. Well done, the country needs more rope based activities  |
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"For anyone interested in learning rope based in the north you might be interested in this https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/785200
Good Luck!
Thank you! Much needed in Hull - even if only for my own sanity! But lots seem interested and got interest from far afield
I saw on the other side a lot of interest. Well done, the country needs more rope based activities "
Thank you. I didn’t quite realise how much interest it would get but people are wanting to travel from north west and South Yorkshire to Hull so it’s blown me away. Very happy with it - just need to have the confidence to teach now!! |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"For anyone interested in learning rope based in the north you might be interested in this https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/785200
Good Luck!
Thank you! Much needed in Hull - even if only for my own sanity! But lots seem interested and got interest from far afield
I saw on the other side a lot of interest. Well done, the country needs more rope based activities
Thank you. I didn’t quite realise how much interest it would get but people are wanting to travel from north west and South Yorkshire to Hull so it’s blown me away. Very happy with it - just need to have the confidence to teach now!! "
Fake it until you feel I was taught.
You are an excellent rigger and a great communicator. Go for it! |
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"For anyone interested in learning rope based in the north you might be interested in this https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/785200
Good Luck!
Thank you! Much needed in Hull - even if only for my own sanity! But lots seem interested and got interest from far afield
I saw on the other side a lot of interest. Well done, the country needs more rope based activities
Thank you. I didn’t quite realise how much interest it would get but people are wanting to travel from north west and South Yorkshire to Hull so it’s blown me away. Very happy with it - just need to have the confidence to teach now!!
Fake it until you feel I was taught.
You are an excellent rigger and a great communicator. Go for it! "
Thank you |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Hi LisaB
Hello
A quiet night for deviants here!
Gag works then
Lol too much tying and gags being used for people to comment.
Tied, you say?
I am always up for doing some tying. I always bring rope and my mini poi floggers when I go to a club.
There are quite a few knotty people here!"
Me included.. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Hi LisaB
Hello
A quiet night for deviants here!
Gag works then
Lol too much tying and gags being used for people to comment.
Tied, you say?
I am always up for doing some tying. I always bring rope and my mini poi floggers when I go to a club.
There are quite a few knotty people here!
Me included.. "
Positively ropey! Do you get to any rope events?
|
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Hi LisaB
Hello
A quiet night for deviants here!
Gag works then
Lol too much tying and gags being used for people to comment.
Tied, you say?
I am always up for doing some tying. I always bring rope and my mini poi floggers when I go to a club.
There are quite a few knotty people here!
Me included..
Positively ropey! Do you get to any rope events?
"
Never been; not sure there are any near me.. |
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"Hi LisaB
Hello
A quiet night for deviants here!
Gag works then
Lol too much tying and gags being used for people to comment.
Tied, you say?
I am always up for doing some tying. I always bring rope and my mini poi floggers when I go to a club.
There are quite a few knotty people here!
Me included..
Positively ropey! Do you get to any rope events?
Never been; not sure there are any near me.."
There’s a lot in the south east. Where exactly are you? |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"You beat me to it. I was thinking South Coast Shibari, Surrey Rope and a new one starting in Kent.
Is Sutton still going too? "
Yes it still is, it has moved to a new venue nearer the station, and so it is no longer sharing the building with the loud Christian worshipers. But it is still every second Sunday of the month. |
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"
There is no single definition of a D/s relationship other than the one agreed between two (or more) consenting adults - the key being what may work for one relationship may not necessarily work for another
This is very true...clearly setting out the boundaries and the type of dynamic that works for you is so important.
I’m not a brat, could never be, as that dynamic almost challenges the Dom to discipline you on a regular basis as you act out. Discipline equals disappointment in you and that makes my chest literally quiver in sadness.
I’m primal though, which for me is about being dominant...but willing to acquiesce to someone more dominant than myself. If you have the stones to come up against me and win, then I’ll happily pass control to you but there’s conflict beforehand and plenty of it. This rubs a lot of traditional master/mentor-type Doms up the wrong way as they assume I’m being bratty and/or trying to top from the bottom - which couldn’t be further from the truth.
The issue I’ve found by being up front with all this from the get go is Doms assuming that either a) I’ve not met the right Dom yet to make me their perfect little sub (and of course they’re the right Dom for the job) or b) that being sub, I should just shut up and behave like a good girl because that’s how it’s *supposed* to be or they’ll punish me until I break .
We all have to be true to ourselves at the end of the day. Find out what works for you, recognise it and seek out its companion in others. For me, it is someone who celebrates my strength while challenging me on a daily basis to be faster/stronger/smarter. For others it will be a desire to be guided or tamed or protected.
"
Very well said young lady! |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
This is a plea for people to support their local fetish events and club nights.
Yesterday I was at Peer Rope Sutton and had a great time as did the number of newbies.
We live in a time when more and more venues are being closed. Yes, I know you can (like we do on Fab) interact online or find information on the internet but personal interaction, in my view, is so much better. I know there are private kinksters but honestly there is fun and learning in meeting others.
So whether it is a workshop, a munch, a club night or event. Try it and see. Don't be like those who said they always wanted to go to Kestrels or meant to go to Kestrels only to find out it has now closed.
Your local kink event needs you! |
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"This is a plea for people to support their local fetish events and club nights.
Yesterday I was at Peer Rope Sutton and had a great time as did the number of newbies.
We live in a time when more and more venues are being closed. Yes, I know you can (like we do on Fab) interact online or find information on the internet but personal interaction, in my view, is so much better. I know there are private kinksters but honestly there is fun and learning in meeting others.
So whether it is a workshop, a munch, a club night or event. Try it and see. Don't be like those who said they always wanted to go to Kestrels or meant to go to Kestrels only to find out it has now closed.
Your local kink event needs you!"
Well said. Every event and club is in a use it or lose it situation. Don’t support it and you’ll find it can’t be sustained financially |
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What are people’s thoughts of calling women on the BDSM scene ‘young lady’? I’ve been called it recently by someone who until then had only known me as Domme and never called me it. Once he found out I was switch he started calling me young lady and it just felt quite patronising. I’m sure it’s not meant that way.
I guess I also felt it when mind candy called someone young lady above - I know him and know he’s not a patronising man at all but I find the phrase itself patronising. What do you think? Do you use it? What do other women feel about being called it? |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"What are people’s thoughts of calling women on the BDSM scene ‘young lady’? I’ve been called it recently by someone who until then had only known me as Domme and never called me it. Once he found out I was switch he started calling me young lady and it just felt quite patronising. I’m sure it’s not meant that way.
I guess I also felt it when mind candy called someone young lady above - I know him and know he’s not a patronising man at all but I find the phrase itself patronising. What do you think? Do you use it? What do other women feel about being called it? "
It is the type of phrase you would imagine being used by Victorian school teachers in relation to misbehaving school girls. However its use may have been a misguided attempt at courtly charm. Was "forsooth" used in tandem? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are people’s thoughts of calling women on the BDSM scene ‘young lady’? I’ve been called it recently by someone who until then had only known me as Domme and never called me it. Once he found out I was switch he started calling me young lady and it just felt quite patronising. I’m sure it’s not meant that way.
I guess I also felt it when mind candy called someone young lady above - I know him and know he’s not a patronising man at all but I find the phrase itself patronising. What do you think? Do you use it? What do other women feel about being called it? "
I really dislike the phrase. It does feel patronising and actually even when used in a non patronising manner feels overly familiar. I personally dislike any kind of endearing term being used by anyone I don't have a personal relationship with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What are people’s thoughts of calling women on the BDSM scene ‘young lady’? I’ve been called it recently by someone who until then had only known me as Domme and never called me it. Once he found out I was switch he started calling me young lady and it just felt quite patronising. I’m sure it’s not meant that way.
I guess I also felt it when mind candy called someone young lady above - I know him and know he’s not a patronising man at all but I find the phrase itself patronising. What do you think? Do you use it? What do other women feel about being called it?
It is the type of phrase you would imagine being used by Victorian school teachers in relation to misbehaving school girls. However its use may have been a misguided attempt at courtly charm. Was "forsooth" used in tandem?"
I agree that some people may find it charming,flattering even. |
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"What are people’s thoughts of calling women on the BDSM scene ‘young lady’? I’ve been called it recently by someone who until then had only known me as Domme and never called me it. Once he found out I was switch he started calling me young lady and it just felt quite patronising. I’m sure it’s not meant that way.
I guess I also felt it when mind candy called someone young lady above - I know him and know he’s not a patronising man at all but I find the phrase itself patronising. What do you think? Do you use it? What do other women feel about being called it?
It is the type of phrase you would imagine being used by Victorian school teachers in relation to misbehaving school girls. However its use may have been a misguided attempt at courtly charm. Was "forsooth" used in tandem?
I agree that some people may find it charming,flattering even. "
I’m sure it’s meant well but it never feels charming or flattering to me. And no forsooth wasn’t uttered in tandem lol. |
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"
So bratty behaviour is it just playful fun or an attempt to top from the bottom?"
For me there is a thin line between disrespectful and bratty.
Bratty is asking to be put in place, it can be very hot to be made to do as you are told as opposed to just doing it. |
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"So what BDSM is everyone into?
"
I could be here all day. Some of the unmentionables.
A good connection with a Dominant who wants to mind fuck as well as actually play.
Hair pulling, collars, restraints.
Orgasm denial and forced orgasms.
Lots more! |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
The Inherent Dignity of BDSM is the great title of a section in an article that I skimmed today.
Here is an extract from the section.
"The glue that holds the BDSM session or relationship together is, however ironic it may sound, this mutual respect for the subjectivity of the other. This is what separates the practiced dominator from the local sex offender: consent. The dominant uses one’s own self-consciousness to empathize with the domination of the other, and so to bring about a double domination: the domination of the submissive, and the dominant’s self-domination. The dominance/submission relationship is grounded in trust, which consists of a circular self-consciousness and a mutual trust: the submissive trusts the dominant not to overstep her boundaries, and the dominant trusts the submissive to demand what she wants and object to what she doesn’t want. "
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I am a switch but only sub to women and my subs are precious to me
If i accept you our relationship is taylor made to your darker desires
Respect n trust are my 2 key words and our relationship is allowed to organicly grow change and expand to fit and fullfil both our needs
1 of my favorite subs calls me his his no drama mistress wifey which i find really sweet and in a strange way quite a compliment as it shows the depth of our mutual connection |
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