FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Poilteness

Poilteness

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

So I decided I would try and reply to them politely, but come on guys, really? How am I expected to reply to message such as 'let me cum over your tits' and 'bend over and I'll shove my cock up your arse'.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

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By *xhib12Man over a year ago

Blyth

Absolutely not. If someone can't be bothered to put at least a little effort into a message then why should you put any effort into a response?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you. Sorry but we're not compatible.

Hope you find someone nice. xx"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If the message is polite and indicates that they've bothered reading our profile I'll respond politely. Otherwise delete without response. If it's really rude - block on the spot.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option. "

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No if there inapropriat they deserve the same treatment

If we act like animals we should be treated the same way if they said it in the street they could be arrested

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?"

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've had the exact when filters have been dropped to chat with single guys. We tend to delete a d move on.

Chris

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By *isstinseltoesWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it "

Pmsl at giblets !

I was just saying this to jack

It depends how sarky or mardy I'm feeling that day,as to if they get a mouthful or a delete...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not harsh at all.

Messages should always be polite, especially opening ones. I like some naughty chat when in the mood, but after a few messages. When it's clearly acceptable to all involved! Then I'll happily chat about anything.

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By *inkyJamesMan over a year ago

80020 Broomfield

I'm so very sorry for desperate single guys that are so disrespectful rude crude & vulgar they do really make it tough for me to even get my foot in the door

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it "

Do you think that being on a bus is the same as having a profile on a swinging site looking for sex with her giblets hanging out?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think those types of guys don’t deserve a reply but the ones who send nice harmless messages could have a polite reply

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"

Sadly many.men on here regard fab ladies as cheap shags and slappers and have no respect for them. Hence the disgusting rhetoric that follows. That sums it up. Tanya

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I will usually draft a reply to someone who has sent me a thoughtful and polite message. The rude ones I just delete and block depending on the content. I am pretty useless at replying though (busy lady) and then you get the hectic guys who demand an immediate response. They go on the block list too. Respect works both ways.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?"

That’s along the same reasoning that women who go out in short skirts deserve unwanted attention.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?"

They could always say something nice about the picks, they do not need to be crude in a first message, we treat people how they treat us so no respect gets no respect and no response

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it

Do you think that being on a bus is the same as having a profile on a swinging site looking for sex with her giblets hanging out?"

I think that if you are wanting to meet someone ... you don't go straight to the "wanna fuck" stage regardless of it being a sex site.

Most want some sort of connection.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

That’s along the same reasoning that women who go out in short skirts deserve unwanted attention. "

Seriously??! It's a sex site not a high street.

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By *heeseandWineCouple over a year ago

Reading and Southampton

"If the message is polite and indicates that they've bothered reading our profile I'll respond politely. Otherwise delete without response. If it's really rude - block on the spot.

Mrs"
Same for us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

That’s along the same reasoning that women who go out in short skirts deserve unwanted attention.

Seriously??! It's a sex site not a high street. "

It doesn’t matter, Steel. Having your tits out on a swinging site doesn’t mean you can be devoid of being respectful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"
I think it depends on the person really,I’ve heard some guys are a total pain in the ass and some are nice guys but I’ve heard it’s more bad than good and at times very demanding.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?"

I agree. We have pictures of ourselves naked and me in various outfits and bits of gear. We can't complain if we receive messages that reflect how we present ourselves.

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

Would be so much easier.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"

I tend to reply to those with ‘ sorry, doing the ironing at the moment ‘ or ‘maybe when I’ve finished cleaning the bathroom ‘........

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

I agree. We have pictures of ourselves naked and me in various outfits and bits of gear. We can't complain if we receive messages that reflect how we present ourselves. "

It’s why I keep the naked pics for friends only. I don’t want to encourage those type of messages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/18 12:41:34]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whether we choose to put sexy, sensual, naked, in action or however we choose to portray our swinging personas, there is no excuse for ill mannored ill thought messages and rudeness. I always reply to messages even if it’s not my thing, unless it’s just crass, rude or just downright moronic. (Which believe it or not I get a few of these)

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By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

I agree. We have pictures of ourselves naked and me in various outfits and bits of gear. We can't complain if we receive messages that reflect how we present ourselves. "

I never had pictures of me on show and I still got messages like that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it

Pmsl at giblets !

I was just saying this to jack

It depends how sarky or mardy I'm feeling that day,as to if they get a mouthful or a delete..."

Lady - would you like to kiss my flower.

Man- no, I'd rather have a gob full of ya giblets

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

Would be so much easier. "

Exactly !

I state very clearly in my profile what I’m looking for and yet I still get messages like ‘I know I’m not what you are looking for but ....’

Annoying to say the least

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

I agree. We have pictures of ourselves naked and me in various outfits and bits of gear. We can't complain if we receive messages that reflect how we present ourselves.

I never had pictures of me on show and I still got messages like that."

Yes, that happens. I think those of us who do have pictures need to be aware of the nature of the site and how we present ourselves though. I also think the men who send the type of message the op is talking about need to be equally aware of how they're presenting themselves.

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By *an_WoodMan over a year ago

Stafford

If the message missed the mark then no it's not harsh to ignore.

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By *reamyBlackBullMan over a year ago

Bath

I don't think single guys have it that tough aside from the odd contradictions etc. It's unreasonably to be expected to reply to your messages and frankly a polite let down should be a boon rather than a expectation.

As with all dating it does skew but biggest obstacle is knowing what your doing and base decency goes a long way

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Personally I think it's perfectly fine to just delete messages that are not of interest regardless of the content - sure if a polite, well worded message has been sent it would be "nice" to get a reply even if it is a thanks but no thanks, but I totally understand why some people don't even take that step.

As for the suggestion made elsewhere about posting sexual pictures "inviting" disrespectful or abusive messages as described by the OP - I think that's missing the point completely - those of us that choose to post sexual pictures of ourselves do so to attract interest and find potential partners to meet NOT to attract lurid, graphical and abusive descriptions from complete strangers as to what they want to do to us!!

The trouble is there are a lot of men (and it IS men I'm sad to say) that see "sex site" and automatically think it's an immediate pass to instant gratification of their own choosing and leave their brain at the door as a result.

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Whole heartedly agree

I’ve been told I’m up myself before because I won’t meet someone I’m not attracted to

Hello ??? It’s my choice thank you haha

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

They could always say something nice about the picks, they do not need to be crude in a first message, we treat people how they treat us so no respect gets no respect and no response

Some do get a response though (depending on how sarcastic I'm feeling) but it's not generally the one they were expecting.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

I wish there was face palm emoji here. The amount of times a bloke has messaged us a mini conversation has turned into a stalking /abuse/begathon is beyond belief.

Why? It's not clever, it impresses nobody, it's not attractive in our view it's fab suicide.

Guys, (and all others that fall in this catagory) don't do it. Be a good human being and don’t abuse the goodwill of those that will make your fab time that little bit better.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

I agree. We have pictures of ourselves naked and me in various outfits and bits of gear. We can't complain if we receive messages that reflect how we present ourselves.

I never had pictures of me on show and I still got messages like that.

(thunb) I don't have sexual pics but I still get sexual messages sometimes. I'm not surprised because of the site this is. It's not a baking site.

Some people are here for fuck n go- they like those immediate fuck messages. It also means they get immediate rejection if they're not compatible. Better than wasting time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out. "

I know you like to be the white knight for all men on Fab, but seriously, c’mon.

If I was in a swingers club and I had my tits out, I can guarantee most would realise that walking up to me and telling me they want to cum all over my tits would be disresptful. So then, why say it on an online platform!?

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By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out. "

so if a woman is wearing a short skirt or low cut top in public you wouldn't think it was disrespectful for someone to make graphic comments?

As someone said earlier, rather like the "what were you wearing?" Comments.

Doesn't matter what pictures someone has and "sex site" or not, it's polite to actually make conversation.

Another poster has said she gets those kinds of messages without having pictures up, so how do you defend that?

Just waiting for "not all men" now.

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By *inful xWoman over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out.

I know you like to be the white knight for all men on Fab, but seriously, c’mon.

Because they sadly think that's what ladies want to hear. They watch far too much porn and think instant dirty chat will get their dick wet

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out. "

I said disrespectful or abusive both of which it's been suggested in this thread at least once have been invited by the nature of pics posted - and both of which people have said they have received.

And telling someone "I want to sum on your tits" just because she happens to have a picture of them is hardly being respectful now is it? Ergo it's disrespectful

Just because this is a sex site doesn't mean that common decency has to go out the window, and in my book sending graphic and detailed descriptions of what you'd like to do to someone you've never conversed with shows a complete lack of common decency and a total misunderstanding of the nature of the site.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out.

I know you like to be the white knight for all men on Fab, but seriously, c’mon.

What the blue eyed girl said. What people choose to show isn't an invitation for abusive comments, however politely they are worded....

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By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Some women too judging by the replies to this thread.

Seems to be perfectly acceptable to be vile and disrespectful because it's a sex site and women shouldnt show pictures of themselves if they don't want disrespectful messages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out.

I know you like to be the white knight for all men on Fab, but seriously, c’mon.

You don't know me at all if you think I'm a white knight for men on these sites.

I explained in my other post.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out.

I know you like to be the white knight for all men on Fab, but seriously, c’mon.

It’s what I like about the clubs, so much more respect and people just don’t do stuff like that. There are also strict rules in place generally and it makes me feel safer.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

I pretended to be a man pretending to be a woman earlier when asked if it was me in my pics.

If someone thinks I'm committed enough to seeking out umpteen pictures of the same person and having 48 published veri's then they deserved to be wound up.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out.

I said disrespectful or abusive both of which it's been suggested in this thread at least once have been invited by the nature of pics posted - and both of which people have said they have received.

And telling someone "I want to sum on your tits" just because she happens to have a picture of them is hardly being respectful now is it? Ergo it's disrespectful

How many men have any clue at all what swinging is? How many men assume the women on here will fuck anyone that asks?

Of course it's a total misunderstanding.

However some people love the attention and crude messages. They are exhibitionists and get horny about sending and receiving those types of messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abrielle247Couple (FF) over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

Thank God for the delete button.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ficouldMan over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?"

Do the pictures displayed on a ladies profile make a difference to the type of messages received?

I know it makes a big difference to my thoughts.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

Do the pictures displayed on a ladies profile make a difference to the type of messages received?

I know it makes a big difference to my thoughts. "

I still get "wanna fuck" messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *xx90292Man over a year ago

London

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out.

I said disrespectful or abusive both of which it's been suggested in this thread at least once have been invited by the nature of pics posted - and both of which people have said they have received.

And telling someone "I want to sum on your tits" just because she happens to have a picture of them is hardly being respectful now is it? Ergo it's disrespectful

How many men have any clue at all what swinging is? How many men assume the women on here will fuck anyone that asks?

Of course it's a total misunderstanding.

However some people love the attention and crude messages. They are exhibitionists and get horny about sending and receiving those types of messages. "

I don’t assume anything. .

Infact I sent a message to someone who said they were in central london for a week who had been winking and fabbing my pics regularly to which I had reciprocated.

I wrote..hey I’m not assuming anything but if you’re in town would you like to hook up.

The reply was ‘I’ll assume to block you” which they did !

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?

I sometimes wish there was a button that could reply

- thank you for your message but not what I’m lookinb for .. hope you find loads of fun x

Easier than typing it out all the time

The only trouble with that would be it wouldn't deter the whiney "but why" or worse abusive follow ups and also by replying it then gets round any future filters that may be added.

Which post said that people with sexual pics were inviting abusive messages?

I don't see a comment like "I want to cum on your tits" as disrespectful if the woman has her tits out.

I said disrespectful or abusive both of which it's been suggested in this thread at least once have been invited by the nature of pics posted - and both of which people have said they have received.

And telling someone "I want to sum on your tits" just because she happens to have a picture of them is hardly being respectful now is it? Ergo it's disrespectful

How many men have any clue at all what swinging is? How many men assume the women on here will fuck anyone that asks?

Of course it's a total misunderstanding.

However some people love the attention and crude messages. They are exhibitionists and get horny about sending and receiving those types of messages. "

Lots do, and even if they don't you would hope that the majority understand what "common decency" and "respect" are, and would know that no-one fucks just because they are asked - so not sure why they lose sight of all those things when they sign up here.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"

To those ones your not but to the nicer ones that put more thought and creativity too it like:

1.let me cum over your tits 'bad'

1.let me take the time to appreciate your pair of gorgeous breasts. Apart they are good when kissed, touched and caressed by my hands but when you put those beauties together they'll make me paint you better than leonardo da vinci.

Still very very bad but creative enough for you to reply and say thanks but no thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My experience is when I message someone here it’s usually because I’ve read something they’ve said in forums time has thought me not to expect a reply I don’t think I’ve ever been over graphic like to simmer with a glimmer when I receive message of crass intent as described just ignore what’s the point

Just my take on it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

That’s along the same reasoning that women who go out in short skirts deserve unwanted attention.

Seriously??! It's a sex site not a high street. "

This isn't a sex site, it's a swinging site. Swinging is a lifestyle for many people, not just a site to log onto for a random fuck. This is my opinion on it anyway.

Maybe many people do think it's a sex site and therefore saying 'let me fuck your pussy till it hurts' etc is acceptable by some. Maybe therein lies the problem that arises on here with communication.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

That’s along the same reasoning that women who go out in short skirts deserve unwanted attention.

Seriously??! It's a sex site not a high street.

This isn't a sex site, it's a swinging site. Swinging is a lifestyle for many people, not just a site to log onto for a random fuck. This is my opinion on it anyway.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?"

No they can admire them, and make a very nice respectable comment.

Would a man go uo to a woman in a bar, lob his cock out for her to see and say get on your knees and suck it? I doubt it. So why do that sort of thing online?

It's all about a little respect and common decency for the other person.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

We're on a swingers site showing pictures of our naked bodies in order to attract men to have sex with. We are going to get messages from men who don't understand that most women want a little chat before they allow them to cum on their tits or bend them over a table and fuck them. I don't say this is right or that we invite it. But I do say that we shouldn't be surprised. Our strategy for dealing with such messages is to delete them and block the guy or couple.

It's entirely different to walking down the street and being approached by a guy.

It's also interesting that a woman who recently said she wanted to ask a male colleague if she could rim him was encouraged to do so.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

That’s along the same reasoning that women who go out in short skirts deserve unwanted attention.

Seriously??! It's a sex site not a high street.

This isn't a sex site, it's a swinging site. Swinging is a lifestyle for many people, not just a site to log onto for a random fuck. This is my opinion on it anyway.

The majority of men think it's a sex site. They see a pussy and they want to fuck it so they say so. As I've explained in other posts, some do just want a random fuck.

I see the site the same as you have said.

I'm certainly not saying you- or any women with non-clothed pics- 'deserve abuse'. I'm just saying don't be surprised they want to fuck you and tell you that.

Different people use the site for different things.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All this social media sex site stuff is pretty new still finding its own sense of etiquette there are many versions of this

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF) over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

Do the pictures displayed on a ladies profile make a difference to the type of messages received?

I know it makes a big difference to my thoughts. "

Shouldn't make any difference to your manners though.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

No they can admire them, and make a very nice respectable comment.

Would a man go uo to a woman in a bar, lob his cock out for her to see and say get on your knees and suck it? I doubt it. So why do that sort of thing online?

It's all about a little respect and common decency for the other person."

What would be a nice respectable comment about a bare pussy pic?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?"

So it's unreasonable to expect someone to introduce themselves in the first instance?

If "can I stick my cock up your arse?" works for you, I'll send them your way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where’s your knickers

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So it's unreasonable to expect someone to introduce themselves in the first instance?

If "can I stick my cock up your arse?" works for you, I'll send them your way.

No, it isn't. You aren't dealing with reasonable when you receive such messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So it's unreasonable to expect someone to introduce themselves in the first instance?

If "can I stick my cock up your arse?" works for you, I'll send them your way.

No, it isn't. You aren't dealing with reasonable when you receive such messages. "

But I would also say is it reasonable for a woman's first contact with a man to be a picture of her genitals?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So it's unreasonable to expect someone to introduce themselves in the first instance?

If "can I stick my cock up your arse?" works for you, I'll send them your way.

If that worked for me I'd have pussy pics on my profile.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So it's unreasonable to expect someone to introduce themselves in the first instance?

If "can I stick my cock up your arse?" works for you, I'll send them your way.

If that worked for me I'd have pussy pics on my profile.

Do you get asked if they can do unspeakable things to your daffodil?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/18 14:37:17]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So it's unreasonable to expect someone to introduce themselves in the first instance?

If "can I stick my cock up your arse?" works for you, I'll send them your way.

If that worked for me I'd have pussy pics on my profile.

Do you get asked if they can do unspeakable things to your daffodil?

Never.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

No they can admire them, and make a very nice respectable comment.

Would a man go uo to a woman in a bar, lob his cock out for her to see and say get on your knees and suck it? I doubt it. So why do that sort of thing online?

It's all about a little respect and common decency for the other person."

No he wouldn't. But then would you be in the bar laid back semi naked on a chair with your hand hovering around your pussy?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So it's unreasonable to expect someone to introduce themselves in the first instance?

If "can I stick my cock up your arse?" works for you, I'll send them your way.

If that worked for me I'd have pussy pics on my profile.

Do you get asked if they can do unspeakable things to your daffodil?

Never.

Ms Heels. I want to sticky calyx in your stamen.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

No they can admire them, and make a very nice respectable comment.

Would a man go uo to a woman in a bar, lob his cock out for her to see and say get on your knees and suck it? I doubt it. So why do that sort of thing online?

It's all about a little respect and common decency for the other person.

No he wouldn't. But then would you be in the bar laid back semi naked on a chair with your hand hovering around your pussy? "

You may be like that in a swinging club and I still wouldn’t expect someone to say that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

No they can admire them, and make a very nice respectable comment.

Would a man go uo to a woman in a bar, lob his cock out for her to see and say get on your knees and suck it? I doubt it. So why do that sort of thing online?

It's all about a little respect and common decency for the other person.

No he wouldn't. But then would you be in the bar laid back semi naked on a chair with your hand hovering around your pussy?

You may be like that in a swinging club and I still wouldn’t expect someone to say that. "

OK sound.

This thread isn't for me. Some women get what they order. Some men are pricks.

That's fab.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"
No they don't warrant a reply

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

No they can admire them, and make a very nice respectable comment.

Would a man go uo to a woman in a bar, lob his cock out for her to see and say get on your knees and suck it? I doubt it. So why do that sort of thing online?

It's all about a little respect and common decency for the other person.

What would be a nice respectable comment about a bare pussy pic?"

Hi - I noticed from your profile pics that you appear to prefer bareback? Or is that not semen dribbling down your delightful vagina? Now, at the risk of being a little bold, may I ask if it was multiple partners? Or was it just the one? I only ask, as according to your other photos, and the fifteen men sitting off in the background, you do like to participate in that sort of thing. Anyway, I digress, and back to the reason I write - I would like to take this opportunity, if I may, to state that it would be a privilege to participate in sexual intercourse with you. Over the back of that couch in the picture (I see it has a wipeable surface, which is nice). Does this sound agreeable? If not, I do wish you well in your endeavours.

Too much?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it

Do you think that being on a bus is the same as having a profile on a swinging site looking for sex with her giblets hanging out?"

No bud being rude is the same no matter where it is

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

No they can admire them, and make a very nice respectable comment.

Would a man go uo to a woman in a bar, lob his cock out for her to see and say get on your knees and suck it? I doubt it. So why do that sort of thing online?

It's all about a little respect and common decency for the other person.

No he wouldn't. But then would you be in the bar laid back semi naked on a chair with your hand hovering around your pussy?

You may be like that in a swinging club and I still wouldn’t expect someone to say that.

OK sound.

This thread isn't for me. Some women get what they order. Some men are pricks.

That's fab. "

Some women get what they order?

If their profile reads they want to receive messages of the manner that has been described then yes, other than that everyone deserves to be spoken to respectfully regardless of their pictures

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So iv got an arse pic does that mean its an open invite to fuck it no

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"So iv got an arse pic does that mean its an open invite to fuck it no"

According to some, it seems that way.

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF) over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

Surely it's common sense, but then that's seems sadly lacking in some.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"

No, if you get shit messages then they don’t deserve the time of day, us men get the odd shit message too tho you know, they’re not just limited to you girls.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I would hope that men who do send those kind of messages eventually learn it's not going to get them very far and a less crude message will get them alot further.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"

block the rude guys , reply to the polite ones

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By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"

No it’s not harsh at all it’s very fair.

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By *edgehogMan over a year ago

Swansea

I think you sound perfectly reasonable. I do wish more women would reply but can't blame anyone for not tolerating the kind of shit in the OP. It's tough when I'm polite and still ignored because I'm not pretending to be anyone's dream fantasy man but that's the nature of the site.

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF) over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

"I would hope that men who do send those kind of messages eventually learn it's not going to get them very far and a less crude message will get them alot further. "

We live in hope, but don't hold your breath darling.

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By *ykeymm8Man over a year ago

southampton

Its hard for single guys but we just have to work harder and smarter. Some girls have said they want us to engage their minds. Some want honesty. Its tricky because with sometimes very basic info you dont know if ypu should start with a bit about yourself (bragging lol) or ask a question (not another one) just introduce yourself and say hi (not another 1 liner) or give a load of info (not another life story!)

That being said you ladies and couples have FAR more admin to deal with. Spamming messages is easier than reading them all. I mean how many dicks a day do you see lol

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I would hope that men who do send those kind of messages eventually learn it's not going to get them very far and a less crude message will get them alot further.

We live in hope, but don't hold your breath darling.

I don't,I know what I wrote was complete and utter nonsense.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We all expect people to be polite to us and its not much effort to treat people nicely. However if they are unable to treat you with courtesy then they shouldnt expect you to be nice to them and vice versa.

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By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

Well to be honest decency and respect is almost dead as very small amount of people show it.

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By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

I agree. We have pictures of ourselves naked and me in various outfits and bits of gear. We can't complain if we receive messages that reflect how we present ourselves.

I never had pictures of me on show and I still got messages like that.

So that means it has nothing to do with the pictures and it does with the men. So you can complain about those type of messages. It's not acceptable.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't we all just get along

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Manners cost nothing no matter whats on show if u want to talk dirty you have to earn the right the flirting banter and inuendo not blirt shite out first message

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't we all just get along

What is this harmonious utopia you speak of? Never gonna happen.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You court the attention, you get it.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

How is it harsh. I wouldnt even entertain such messages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I once tried replying to messages but when I've said thanks but no thanks I got a load of abuse in reply, so no, I no longer reply to all for that reason.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"You court the attention, you get it."
absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I will say this post is definitely a great filter!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I once tried replying to messages but when I've said thanks but no thanks I got a load of abuse in reply, so no, I no longer reply to all for that reason."
if you had used your block button once you said no thanks you wouldnt have got abuse

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it "

That's entirely different and you know it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"I once tried replying to messages but when I've said thanks but no thanks I got a load of abuse in reply, so no, I no longer reply to all for that reason.if you had used your block button once you said no thanks you wouldnt have got abuse"

please tell me this is some attempt at sarcasm?

So you should be polite to others and say no thanks but if you don't block them you should then expect abuse back and if you get it, it's your own fault for not blocking them?

Jesus Christ. This thread is getting disappointing with the amount of women who seem to be defenfing this behaviour.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it"

Exactly what I have been saying on my little input on this thread. Alas being a single man my posts are met with negativity. Be interested in what certain women who have commented on my posts say about yours.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

People have bits of themselves hanging out all over a swingers site then complain about the messages they get

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By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it

That's entirely different and you know it."

How?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

please tell me this is some attempt at sarcasm?

So you should be polite to others and say no thanks but if you don't block them you should then expect abuse back and if you get it, it's your own fault for not blocking them?

Jesus Christ. This thread is getting disappointing with the amount of women who seem to be defenfing this behaviour. "
noone should get abuse but theres a bloody simple way to stop it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it

That's entirely different and you know it."

Why is it different maybe she winked you as you looked does that mean its ok still no so its still out of order now if you were to let her know shes on show she says i did it for you or something that is when its different

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it

That's entirely different and you know it.

Don't be ridiculous.

If I get my tits out on here I expect to receive messages referring to them.

If I got them out in public I would expect to be arrested and have people look at them.

On here, you get what you ask for.

You'll get sexual messages amongst the polite ones.

You can still get sexual messages even without showing explicit photos, but you'll get more if you show more.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it"

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

please tell me this is some attempt at sarcasm?

So you should be polite to others and say no thanks but if you don't block them you should then expect abuse back and if you get it, it's your own fault for not blocking them?

Jesus Christ. This thread is getting disappointing with the amount of women who seem to be defenfing this behaviour. noone should get abuse but theres a bloody simple way to stop it"

Especially if you've been on here long enough to know what happens.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable."

I agree with you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable."

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content. "

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

I agree. We have pictures of ourselves naked and me in various outfits and bits of gear. We can't complain if we receive messages that reflect how we present ourselves.

I never had pictures of me on show and I still got messages like that.

So that means it has nothing to do with the pictures and it does with the men. So you can complain about those type of messages. It's not acceptable."

I don't think anyone is saying it's acceptable. They are saying that some men are unable to express themselves sexually other than in crude terms. This will happen on a swinging site and the best way to deal with it is to block the guy. Pictures will encourage this behaviour. Having no pictures won't stop it. However it behoves women to realise that presenting themselves in a certain way on a swinging site will attract the men who can only relate to females in crude terms. I don't condone it, I don't think it's ok, I don't think women deserve it. I'm merely acknowledging that it will happen and blocking and if abusive reporting is our main recourse.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable."
get a grip. Are you saying if someone has there fanny hanging out on a swimging site there not expecting messages to comment on that. And to relate a few messages on a swinging site to r*ape is downright ridiculous

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By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

To be honest some of us are more intelligent oh she has her tits out in a picture I would always message introducing myself and not comment on them because it’s the decent thing to do. Also I don’t agree with if you post provocative pictures that you should expect provocative messages because you should it’s just a lack of decency and being online you can’t see the persons reaction.

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By *ykeymm8Man over a year ago

southampton

Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

I’m glad you said it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

"
i dont. When my profile is on show i have fully clothed pictures. I dont want to recieve those kinds of messages so do my best to avoid it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No.

Messages like that deserve the file under trash option.

Why though? Some women have public pussy pics or their tits out or bare bums. Are the men supposed to ignore that and just talk about the weather?

So if i saw a lass on a bus with her giblets hanging out of her knickers or comando up her skirt is it ok for me to go ask to finger it

That's entirely different and you know it.

Don't be ridiculous.

If I get my tits out on here I expect to receive messages referring to them.

If I got them out in public I would expect to be arrested and have people look at them.

On here, you get what you ask for.

You'll get sexual messages amongst the polite ones.

You can still get sexual messages even without showing explicit photos, but you'll get more if you show more.

Theres a diference between refering to a particular pic and being gross rude nasty or crude why not just a compliment like you have a very sexy arse instead of id love to destroy your arse hole so you cant sit down or the like

Its just not nesesary unless it states thats what she wants in an update or profile

As for getting your bits out in public thes loads of pics of lasses flashing in public on here

And many times where a girl sits down or bends over in a very short skirt and bares all it may be inosent it may be with intent u still wouldnt go ask her some of the things people do annonymously online

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages. "

Very few profiles, even the longest, give people anything to message about. They usually just cover the same info about how they swing, like to have socials first, etc. They don't list what people's interests or hobbies are. So, unlike a dating site, there's rarely any insight into what might be a good conversation starter. But men are somehow expected to write interesting messages. Some guys, like me, do try to make an effort to pluck something interesting from the ether... perhaps from a comment in a status update. But you can't blame the vast swathe of guys saying "hi" to a blank profile or writing something about a woman's tits or pussy if the only thing to really go on are pictures of those. If you don't want those kinds of messages change your profile to attract the kind of interest you want to attract

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"So after chatting to a few single men on here, I decided that yes they do get a hard time of it, and it must be quite demoralising to send out loads of messages and then just get deleted or ignored.

These aren't actual messages (saying that as I don't want to be put oh the naughty step) but those words are along the lines of things some men will say.

I just can't bring myself to send a polite reply.

Am I harsh?"

No.

Those messages aren’t polite so do not expect a polite answer, however I would reply ‘you are not a suitable match for me good luck’ then block them so no chance of future communication.

These types of men just give the nicer men more opportunity to meet.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nor harsh at all. I love fabbing pics but never fab cocks. No need!

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By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

"Nor harsh at all. I love fabbing pics but never fab cocks. No need!"

It’s like once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abs..Woman over a year ago

Having good manners and being polite costs nothing therefore there is no excuse not to be that way.

We all know it’s a sex site but that doesn’t mean we lose our ability to have some common decency when communicating with people. I don’t understand why a person would send a crude first message.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

i dont. When my profile is on show i have fully clothed pictures. I dont want to recieve those kinds of messages so do my best to avoid it"

So, in your opinion do women who wear revealing clothes "ask for it"? Should they cover up in order to not inflame the desires of men.

Because it seems like you want web to take responsibility for the way men behave rather than men changing the way they behave.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nor harsh at all. I love fabbing pics but never fab cocks. No need!

It’s like once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. "

And some of them I’ve seen at more angles than I have of my husband in the ast 20

Years. And believe me. I look at his a LOT

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

i dont. When my profile is on show i have fully clothed pictures. I dont want to recieve those kinds of messages so do my best to avoid it

So, in your opinion do women who wear revealing clothes "ask for it"? Should they cover up in order to not inflame the desires of men.

Because it seems like you want web to take responsibility for the way men behave rather than men changing the way they behave. "

They should do whatever they want, but be aware that what they do may incite unwanted attention. There isn't a "polite" filter on here, so we have to ignore what we aren't interested in.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

"Nor harsh at all. I love fabbing pics but never fab cocks. No need!

It’s like once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.

And some of them I’ve seen at more angles than I have of my husband in the ast 20

Years. And believe me. I look at his a LOT

Yeah I understand that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!"
im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

i dont. When my profile is on show i have fully clothed pictures. I dont want to recieve those kinds of messages so do my best to avoid it

So, in your opinion do women who wear revealing clothes "ask for it"? Should they cover up in order to not inflame the desires of men.

Because it seems like you want web to take responsibility for the way men behave rather than men changing the way they behave. "

Why should they change their behaviour? It doesn't bother me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.get a grip. Are you saying if someone has there fanny hanging out on a swimging site there not expecting messages to comment on that. And to relate a few messages on a swinging site to r*ape is downright ridiculous"

Actually, what a few of you are doing is the exact definition of victim shaming.

You’re basically saying that if you have certain pictures on your profile, that you rightly attract a certain type of attention.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages. "

Not all men are idiotic there are a rare few intelligent ones.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reading this thread makes me realise once again that it is true.....we really do get the politicians we deserve

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

Actually, what a few of you are doing is the exact definition of victim shaming.

You’re basically saying that if you have certain pictures on your profile, that you rightly attract a certain type of attention. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages. "

Your lucky I’ve been on for 3 months and have had quite a few.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

i dont. When my profile is on show i have fully clothed pictures. I dont want to recieve those kinds of messages so do my best to avoid it

So, in your opinion do women who wear revealing clothes "ask for it"? Should they cover up in order to not inflame the desires of men.

Because it seems like you want web to take responsibility for the way men behave rather than men changing the way they behave.

They should do whatever they want, but be aware that what they do may incite unwanted attention. There isn't a "polite" filter on here, so we have to ignore what we aren't interested in. "

yes it may. But there are far too many people on here defending it. Rather than agreeing that messages like that are acceptable it's a case of 'well men can't help themselves so you must change your behaviour' which is the most ridiculous thing.

And yes, it is very similar to victim blaming and saying that women who wear short and revealing clothes are asking to be assulted.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages. "

No, I wouldn't call them idiotic or stupid. Maybe women are naive and stupid to think their provocative photos, that they deliberately took and posted in public, to arouse men, would not attract sexual messages?

It could be a useful filter for some.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

Actually, what a few of you are doing is the exact definition of victim shaming.

You’re basically saying that if you have certain pictures on your profile, that you rightly attract a certain type of attention. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages. "

Oh so because it doesn't happen to you it can't possibly be an issue for others?

Yes it is simple to ignore them. But that doesn't actually do anything. Ignoring behaviour doesn't make it change.

If it's not an issue you face, then why weigh in?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

i dont. When my profile is on show i have fully clothed pictures. I dont want to recieve those kinds of messages so do my best to avoid it

So, in your opinion do women who wear revealing clothes "ask for it"? Should they cover up in order to not inflame the desires of men.

Because it seems like you want web to take responsibility for the way men behave rather than men changing the way they behave.

They should do whatever they want, but be aware that what they do may incite unwanted attention. There isn't a "polite" filter on here, so we have to ignore what we aren't interested in.

And yes, it is very similar to victim blaming and saying that women who wear short and revealing clothes are asking to be assulted. "

I didn't say they were acceptable. I said they were to be expected on here. Open a jar of jam and you'll get wasps with the bees. It's the nature of the beast and nothing will change it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages.

It could be a useful filter for some. "

Oh so men sending vulgar messages aren't stupid but women are stupid for daring to show skin and wanting respect?

The 1950s called, they want you back.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages.

Oh so because it doesn't happen to you it can't possibly be an issue for others?

Yes it is simple to ignore them. But that doesn't actually do anything. Ignoring behaviour doesn't make it change.

If it's not an issue you face, then why weigh in? "

How do you propose to change men's behaviour on here? Ask men politely to not become aroused by sexually explicit photos and send polite messages? Get them booted off the site because they have upset some women?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages. "

Yes, it is simple to block them and report them, but why should you have to?

I've been here 6 months (the last 2 months hidden) and I've had literally hundreds of crass messages. And as I keep pointing out, I don't have any pictures on display.

So exactly how do I deserve some of those messages?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

i dont. When my profile is on show i have fully clothed pictures. I dont want to recieve those kinds of messages so do my best to avoid it

So, in your opinion do women who wear revealing clothes "ask for it"? Should they cover up in order to not inflame the desires of men.

Because it seems like you want web to take responsibility for the way men behave rather than men changing the way they behave.

They should do whatever they want, but be aware that what they do may incite unwanted attention. There isn't a "polite" filter on here, so we have to ignore what we aren't interested in.

And yes, it is very similar to victim blaming and saying that women who wear short and revealing clothes are asking to be assulted. "
im not saying anyone should change their behaviour. But its a swimgers site. You have to take the good with the bad. Everyone knows some men cant stop themselves from being vulgar. But its easily stopped. Just ignore the messages and press the block button

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages.

It could be a useful filter for some.

Oh so men sending vulgar messages aren't stupid but women are stupid for daring to show skin and wanting respect?

The 1950s called, they want you back. "

You show your cunt to all and sundry, some won't respect you.

Stop flinging out ridiculous cliches. On here you will get what you ask for. If you don't like what you get, either change or leave. You're not going to change anyone's attitude towards sexually explicit profiles.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/18 16:58:55]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

i dont. When my profile is on show i have fully clothed pictures. I dont want to recieve those kinds of messages so do my best to avoid it

So, in your opinion do women who wear revealing clothes "ask for it"? Should they cover up in order to not inflame the desires of men.

Because it seems like you want web to take responsibility for the way men behave rather than men changing the way they behave.

They should do whatever they want, but be aware that what they do may incite unwanted attention. There isn't a "polite" filter on here, so we have to ignore what we aren't interested in.

And yes, it is very similar to victim blaming and saying that women who wear short and revealing clothes are asking to be assulted.

I didn't say they were acceptable. I said they were to be expected on here. Open a jar of jam and you'll get wasps with the bees. It's the nature of the beast and nothing will change it."

By saying it is to be expected, you are saying it's acceptable.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The victim blaming stuff is ridiculous. You're making an absolute mockery of real victims.

It's a site where people are looking for sex. Having sexual pics but complaining about sexual messages is beyond naïve.

Many women and couples want crude messages about their sexual pics- that's exactly why they have them public!

If you don't want men to comment on your genitals/ tits etc.... hmmm let me think what the answer might be..........

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages. "

Most men, not all, on here have the mentality ‘it’s a sex site ffs’ so they think it’s ok to send crude messages or think cos women have signed up to the site that women are what they say ‘up for it’. It’s us, the women, who need to educate these fools

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages.

Yes, it is simple to block them and report them, but why should you have to?

I've been here 6 months (the last 2 months hidden) and I've had literally hundreds of crass messages. And as I keep pointing out, I don't have any pictures on display.

So exactly how do I deserve some of those messages?"
you shouldnt have to do anything but surely if something is going to make your time on the site easier then you would do it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages.

It could be a useful filter for some. "

There are sexual messages and there are disgustingly perverted messages. I just delete any that are inappropriate as wouldn’t be the type of guy I would be interested in anyway. Then we get guys moaning that we ignore their messages, I wonder why??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oelDorianMan over a year ago

vanaheim

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages.

It could be a useful filter for some.

Oh so men sending vulgar messages aren't stupid but women are stupid for daring to show skin and wanting respect?

The 1950s called, they want you back.

You show your cunt to all and sundry, some won't respect you.

There is no need for that language talking about vulgar and each person is different so respect their opinions

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyway, to answer the OP's question, no you're not being harsh. But, if you told them that you find those kinds of messages disrespectful, it may make them think before they message someone else.

Although, some women might respond positively to sexually graphic messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages.

Yes, it is simple to block them and report them, but why should you have to?

I've been here 6 months (the last 2 months hidden) and I've had literally hundreds of crass messages. And as I keep pointing out, I don't have any pictures on display.

So exactly how do I deserve some of those messages?you shouldnt have to do anything but surely if something is going to make your time on the site easier then you would do it"

I notice that you missed the whole second part of my comment in your reply.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Who on this site doesn't have their junk out somewhere lol. Skip passed it and talk to the person not the pictures.

i dont. When my profile is on show i have fully clothed pictures. I dont want to recieve those kinds of messages so do my best to avoid it

So, in your opinion do women who wear revealing clothes "ask for it"? Should they cover up in order to not inflame the desires of men.

Because it seems like you want web to take responsibility for the way men behave rather than men changing the way they behave.

They should do whatever they want, but be aware that what they do may incite unwanted attention. There isn't a "polite" filter on here, so we have to ignore what we aren't interested in.

And yes, it is very similar to victim blaming and saying that women who wear short and revealing clothes are asking to be assulted.

I didn't say they were acceptable. I said they were to be expected on here. Open a jar of jam and you'll get wasps with the bees. It's the nature of the beast and nothing will change it.

By saying it is to be expected, you are saying it's acceptable."
im not at all. I dont think its exeptable but what do you expect on a site like this

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages.

It could be a useful filter for some.

Oh so men sending vulgar messages aren't stupid but women are stupid for daring to show skin and wanting respect?

The 1950s called, they want you back.

You show your cunt to all and sundry, some won't respect you.

There is no need for that language talking about vulgar and each person is different so respect their opinions "

I do respect people's opinions. I use the word cunt quite often, respect my choice of wording please.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The victim blaming stuff is ridiculous. You're making an absolute mockery of real victims.

It's a site where people are looking for sex. Having sexual pics but complaining about sexual messages is beyond naïve.

Many women and couples want crude messages about their sexual pics- that's exactly why they have them public!

If you don't want men to comment on your genitals/ tits etc.... hmmm let me think what the answer might be.........."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages.

Yes, it is simple to block them and report them, but why should you have to?

I've been here 6 months (the last 2 months hidden) and I've had literally hundreds of crass messages. And as I keep pointing out, I don't have any pictures on display.

So exactly how do I deserve some of those messages?you shouldnt have to do anything but surely if something is going to make your time on the site easier then you would do it

I notice that you missed the whole second part of my comment in your reply."
what comment have i missed out?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages.

It could be a useful filter for some.

Women also ignore polite, week thought out messages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages.

Yes, it is simple to block them and report them, but why should you have to?

I've been here 6 months (the last 2 months hidden) and I've had literally hundreds of crass messages. And as I keep pointing out, I don't have any pictures on display.

So exactly how do I deserve some of those messages?you shouldnt have to do anything but surely if something is going to make your time on the site easier then you would do it

I notice that you missed the whole second part of my comment in your reply.what comment have i missed out?"

Apparently, even though I don't have pictures on my profile, I deserve to get crass messages. Because it's a sex site.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The victim blaming stuff is ridiculous. You're making an absolute mockery of real victims.

It's a site where people are looking for sex. Having sexual pics but complaining about sexual messages is beyond naïve.

Many women and couples want crude messages about their sexual pics- that's exactly why they have them public!

If you don't want men to comment on your genitals/ tits etc.... hmmm let me think what the answer might be..........

That isn't relevant to messages on this website though is it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

It is exactly the same as victim shaming r*pe victims - not acceptable.

It's not victim shaming. She isn't a victim; they've only sent a bloody message. It's knowing your audience and the reaction you get from your profile.

Actually she is.

Anyone who receives a message like that is a victim.

You are saying "it's her fault" because of the pictures. I still get those messages and I don't have pictures on display. It is the men at fault, who cannot message in an appropriate way, who is at fault!im sorry but anyone who sees themselves as a victim because they get a cras message on a swingers site should.maybe think if this is the right place for them. I absolutly dont think anyone should get abuse but this kind of site attracts all sorts. Its simple to ignore such messages. And block after a no thanks. Ive been here 12 years and had three abusive messages.

Yes, it is simple to block them and report them, but why should you have to?

I've been here 6 months (the last 2 months hidden) and I've had literally hundreds of crass messages. And as I keep pointing out, I don't have any pictures on display.

So exactly how do I deserve some of those messages?you shouldnt have to do anything but surely if something is going to make your time on the site easier then you would do it

I notice that you missed the whole second part of my comment in your reply.what comment have i missed out?

Apparently, even though I don't have pictures on my profile, I deserve to get crass messages. Because it's a sex site."

Maybe you got caught up in the scatter gun message firing.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *FFB69Woman over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages.

Have you seen some of the replies from women on this thread?

It's those women who give men a defence. "yeah well they like it/think it's ok so why don't you"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *alking DisasterWoman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"The victim blaming stuff is ridiculous. You're making an absolute mockery of real victims.

It's a site where people are looking for sex. Having sexual pics but complaining about sexual messages is beyond naïve.

Many women and couples want crude messages about their sexual pics- that's exactly why they have them public!

If you don't want men to comment on your genitals/ tits etc.... hmmm let me think what the answer might be..........

That isn't relevant to messages on this website though is it. "

It could be

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The victim blaming stuff is ridiculous. You're making an absolute mockery of real victims.

It's a site where people are looking for sex. Having sexual pics but complaining about sexual messages is beyond naïve.

Many women and couples want crude messages about their sexual pics- that's exactly why they have them public!

If you don't want men to comment on your genitals/ tits etc.... hmmm let me think what the answer might be..........

That isn't relevant to messages on this website though is it. "

It’s completely relevant to the attitude to you and others on here.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"The victim blaming stuff is ridiculous. You're making an absolute mockery of real victims.

It's a site where people are looking for sex. Having sexual pics but complaining about sexual messages is beyond naïve.

Many women and couples want crude messages about their sexual pics- that's exactly why they have them public!

If you don't want men to comment on your genitals/ tits etc.... hmmm let me think what the answer might be..........

I’m a victim of sexual assault. I 100% believe we should be having this conversation. Saying “Well, you have your tits out, what do you expect” is exactly the same as someone who said “Well, you got d*unk, what did you expect”. "
ive been the victim of sexual.assault numerous times. I do not equate it to getting a few crass messages on a swingers site. I think it belittles sexual assault

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You court the attention, you get it.absolfuckinglutly then complain when they get it

It's not the attention that's being complained about, it's the content of the attention.

The content of some will reflect how you go about gaining the attention. I've had many different profiles, to see who and what it attracts. It changes with my profile content.

And yet you can still have a blank profile and receive those messages.

Ah yes. Of course.

So you agree that men are so idiotic and stupid that upon seeing a revealing picture of the female form all common sense and cognitive abilities go out the window.

Would you walk up to a woman in a bar, who happens to be in a short dress, and say "hey fancy a fuck" whereas if she was in trousers you'd ask about the weather? No? Same on fab.

Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages.

And you can only educate them by messaging them back. Some might learn, some might not.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Anyway, to answer the OP's question, no you're not being harsh. But, if you told them that you find those kinds of messages disrespectful, it may make them think before they message someone else.

Although, some women might respond positively to sexually graphic messages. "

I've told many men that their message was disrespectful and almost all have apologised. Some make some comment about it being a sex site - their attitude will never change.

I'm not bothered when I get rude messages because some people like them. Who the heck am I to tell the men of the site to chat about the weather when all they want is a fuck and go? I don't want that so I say no thank you and they usually reply wishing me well.

The majority aren't animals. They see sex pics and they respond to them in a sexual way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It doesn’t make a mockery of sexual assault victims. You’re missing the whole point. The attitude that you have, is the attitude shared by those who victim shame in the first place. I’m not equating a few messages on a swinging site to sexual assault, I’m saying the attitudes are the same.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chatting a woman up in a bar comes with zero information. I'm sure many of the men on here can think of something to talk about then so they are more than capable of doing the same in messages. "

Opening to a woman in a bar is actually quite difficult as there's similarly nothing to go on... Hence why cheesey chat up lines exist. It's much easier to chat up a woman when there's more context to go on. In a real life setting you could pull on a range of things. I could tease her over a pair of shoes she's wearing. Online this just wouldn't work as A) if you didn't take a photo of them I wouldn't know to tease you over them and B) if I did you might take it the wrong way because you wouldn't have my body language to go on to tell you that I'm actually being flirtatious and am attracted to you.

Look back through your own profile and ask yourself... If that's absolutely everything you had to go on about a person what would you start a conversation with them about. If you've got a one liner profile with 59 pics of your pussy then it's pretty much got to be a conversation about your pussy right?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have had enough of the victim shaming posts on this thread. Just because you post provocative pictures, it does not mean you should expect or deserve explicit first messages.

Actually, what a few of you are doing is the exact definition of victim shaming.

You’re basically saying that if you have certain pictures on your profile, that you rightly attract a certain type of attention. "

I haven't read it like that. Nobody has said anyone "rightly attracts certain types of attention". I don't think anyone is saying it's all right. I think the general consensus is that this is a swinger's site, and unfortunately, not everybody is on the same page. Certain types will send certain types of messages, whether or not you have certain types of pictures on display. Unfortunately, the same certain types of pictures will do even more to attract certain types of messages from certain types of guys. No one is defending it, but maybe they are saying that it goes with the territory.

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By *laymates7Woman over a year ago

Isle of Wight

Ive had to reply to a few today with a few harsh words.

Yes I’m looking to meet, yes I have intimate pictures on my profile BUT I still stand by my preference so feel perfectly at ease rejecting or deleting messages from guys who don’t tick any of my boxes, only for them to get shirty saying ‘well you put a meet up so why won’t you meet me’

I always reply politely to any compliments from anyone but then they expect to meet me yet haven’t bothered to read my profile. I just can’t win !

No wonder you guys get bad press.

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