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The primacy of body shape in sexual attraction
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's the first thing we see about a person; their shape. When asked what most attracts them, men often pick something about the body and women often pick something about the face. Yet, if this is so, why do women always swoon when some bland dude with a rugby body enters the room while a good looking guy largely goes unnoticed?
I think, whether we like it or not, body shape is the key thing we are attracted to and everything else comes after that. What do you think? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Face every time for me followed by body. "
Thanks for replying. I think I'm too scary for everyone else 
If you saw a guy with a very good looking face who was morbidly obese or disturbingly thin would you still be attracted to him? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me."
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A pretty body does not override a face I do not find attractive! Girls who care about fashion will be about the body of baywatch, face of crimewatch types....is also why alot of them are covered in beards I think! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic? "
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat |
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat "
i dont know. Some people just have that something |
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"A pretty body does not override a face I do not find attractive! Girls who care about fashion will be about the body of baywatch, face of crimewatch types....is also why alot of them are covered in beards I think!"
There are definitely guys who have a beard as a substitute for a personality |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A pretty body does not override a face I do not find attractive! Girls who care about fashion will be about the body of baywatch, face of crimewatch types....is also why alot of them are covered in beards I think!
There are definitely guys who have a beard as a substitute for a personality "
Hahahaha  I hope for your sake none of the beardies on here read that. Haha Love it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something"
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha |
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha "
havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it"
I'm just wondering how the heck to give off that I'm "pure filth" I think I come across as nice and fun and maybe a bit heady. I'm a bit of a dark horse in that way |
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I'm just wondering how the heck to give off that I'm "pure filth" I think I come across as nice and fun and maybe a bit heady. I'm a bit of a dark horse in that way "
i think youve either got it or you havent. Dont think its a learnt behaviour |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I'm just wondering how the heck to give off that I'm "pure filth" I think I come across as nice and fun and maybe a bit heady. I'm a bit of a dark horse in that way i think youve either got it or you havent. Dont think its a learnt behaviour"
But I am actually pure filth haha. So I've definitely got it. I just don't think I've got the look. If I'm going to attract a suitable mate I'm quite keen to start coming across the right way. So pointers would be useful  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think your right. Im attracted to someones body shape mostly. A good looking skinny small guy wouldnt do it for me. "
Well I'm 6ft so there's still hope for me yet |
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"Face every time for me followed by body.
Thanks for replying. I think I'm too scary for everyone else
If you saw a guy with a very good looking face who was morbidly obese or disturbingly thin would you still be attracted to him? "
No. I like a man to have an attractive face and a body that is on the average range ie ranging from very slim to carrying a bit of timber. However if the face ain't doing it for me he could have the body of an average adonis and I wouldn't be interested.
I don't think people are scared of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I'm just wondering how the heck to give off that I'm "pure filth" I think I come across as nice and fun and maybe a bit heady. I'm a bit of a dark horse in that way i think youve either got it or you havent. Dont think its a learnt behaviour"
Exactly.
The folk who have it are also mostly unaware they have it. But i guess it doesn’t have a universal effect on everyone either.
For example, the actor Paul Kaye. I take one look at him and i just get a sense that he’s filthy in bed and he oozes sex appeal. Other folk will look at him and just not feel it.
I look at Rick Astley and i’m guessing he’s probably fair to middling in bed.
I could be wrong, obviously. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I'm just wondering how the heck to give off that I'm "pure filth" I think I come across as nice and fun and maybe a bit heady. I'm a bit of a dark horse in that way i think youve either got it or you havent. Dont think its a learnt behaviour
Exactly.
The folk who have it are also mostly unaware they have it. But i guess it doesn’t have a universal effect on everyone either.
For example, the actor Paul Kaye. I take one look at him and i just get a sense that he’s filthy in bed and he oozes sex appeal. Other folk will look at him and just not feel it.
I look at Rick Astley and i’m guessing he’s probably fair to middling in bed.
I could be wrong, obviously."
Paul Kaye? Rick Astley? You've lost me |
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I'm just wondering how the heck to give off that I'm "pure filth" I think I come across as nice and fun and maybe a bit heady. I'm a bit of a dark horse in that way i think youve either got it or you havent. Dont think its a learnt behaviour
But I am actually pure filth haha. So I've definitely got it. I just don't think I've got the look. If I'm going to attract a suitable mate I'm quite keen to start coming across the right way. So pointers would be useful "
What's wrong with the real you? Why do you want to come across differently? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I'm just wondering how the heck to give off that I'm "pure filth" I think I come across as nice and fun and maybe a bit heady. I'm a bit of a dark horse in that way i think youve either got it or you havent. Dont think its a learnt behaviour
But I am actually pure filth haha. So I've definitely got it. I just don't think I've got the look. If I'm going to attract a suitable mate I'm quite keen to start coming across the right way. So pointers would be useful
What's wrong with the real you? Why do you want to come across differently? "
Yes! You can only be yourself. Everyone else is taken. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I'm just wondering how the heck to give off that I'm "pure filth" I think I come across as nice and fun and maybe a bit heady. I'm a bit of a dark horse in that way i think youve either got it or you havent. Dont think its a learnt behaviour
But I am actually pure filth haha. So I've definitely got it. I just don't think I've got the look. If I'm going to attract a suitable mate I'm quite keen to start coming across the right way. So pointers would be useful
What's wrong with the real you? Why do you want to come across differently? "
I don't know quite how it's happened but I have to say that a key issue in general at this point in my life is that who I come across as and who I actually am are quite different. I'm working on bridging that gap. One such gap is between me coming across very very vanilla but being entirely not vanilla haha So I'm actually trying to come across as the real me, not vice versa |
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"It's the first thing we see about a person; their shape. When asked what most attracts them, men often pick something about the body and women often pick something about the face. Yet, if this is so, why do women always swoon when some bland dude with a rugby body enters the room while a good looking guy largely goes unnoticed?
I think, whether we like it or not, body shape is the key thing we are attracted to and everything else comes after that. What do you think? "
I think most people don't really know what attracts them to someone. We know that some features are more attractive than others, but we also know that smells at the subconscious play a role, how they make us feel and react to us. I think most people find someone attractive and retrofit and explanation later. Hence you get bullshit like "he's got nice eyes" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's the first thing we see about a person; their shape. When asked what most attracts them, men often pick something about the body and women often pick something about the face. Yet, if this is so, why do women always swoon when some bland dude with a rugby body enters the room while a good looking guy largely goes unnoticed?
I think, whether we like it or not, body shape is the key thing we are attracted to and everything else comes after that. What do you think?
I think most people don't really know what attracts them to someone. We know that some features are more attractive than others, but we also know that smells at the subconscious play a role, how they make us feel and react to us. I think most people find someone attractive and retrofit and explanation later. Hence you get bullshit like "he's got nice eyes""
Maybe attraction works on a holistic level and simply isn't reducible in the usual analytical sense (apologies for the sudden dive into highbrow guys but I know broken can take it  ) |
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"I
What's wrong with the real you? Why do you want to come across differently?
I don't know quite how it's happened but I have to say that a key issue in general at this point in my life is that who I come across as and who I actually am are quite different. I'm working on bridging that gap. One such gap is between me coming across very very vanilla but being entirely not vanilla haha So I'm actually trying to come across as the real me, not vice versa "
Certain people that don't know me too well have a completely different impression of me to those who I'm close to. I'm often surprised by it. The people who are important in your life will know the real you. However from a lot of your posts on here I understand that you're looking for a partner so you need to make sure that any potential lovers are going to be on your wavelength, is that right? If so I think you need to stop trying to be someone you think your ideal partner wants because your ideal partner is the one who wants the real you. |
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"It's the first thing we see about a person; their shape. When asked what most attracts them, men often pick something about the body and women often pick something about the face. Yet, if this is so, why do women always swoon when some bland dude with a rugby body enters the room while a good looking guy largely goes unnoticed?
I think, whether we like it or not, body shape is the key thing we are attracted to and everything else comes after that. What do you think?
I think most people don't really know what attracts them to someone. We know that some features are more attractive than others, but we also know that smells at the subconscious play a role, how they make us feel and react to us. I think most people find someone attractive and retrofit and explanation later. Hence you get bullshit like "he's got nice eyes"
Maybe attraction works on a holistic level and simply isn't reducible in the usual analytical sense (apologies for the sudden dive into highbrow guys but I know broken can take it ) "
I think it's a probabilistic, dynamic system. There is logic there, but i know I've instantly lost attraction with some women for pretty trivial reasons. Last time was when i heard an otherwise attractive woman say the phrase "Oh my days". |
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"It's the first thing we see about a person; their shape. When asked what most attracts them, men often pick something about the body and women often pick something about the face. Yet, if this is so, why do women always swoon when some bland dude with a rugby body enters the room while a good looking guy largely goes unnoticed?
I think, whether we like it or not, body shape is the key thing we are attracted to and everything else comes after that. What do you think?
I think most people don't really know what attracts them to someone. We know that some features are more attractive than others, but we also know that smells at the subconscious play a role, how they make us feel and react to us. I think most people find someone attractive and retrofit and explanation later. Hence you get bullshit like "he's got nice eyes"
Maybe attraction works on a holistic level and simply isn't reducible in the usual analytical sense (apologies for the sudden dive into highbrow guys but I know broken can take it )
I think it's a probabilistic, dynamic system. There is logic there, but i know I've instantly lost attraction with some women for pretty trivial reasons. Last time was when i heard an otherwise attractive woman say the phrase "Oh my days". "
I go off otherwise attractive men for trivial reasons. Including they use the phrase should of in a message and of they have a certain expression on their face on a photo. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's the first thing we see about a person; their shape. When asked what most attracts them, men often pick something about the body and women often pick something about the face. Yet, if this is so, why do women always swoon when some bland dude with a rugby body enters the room while a good looking guy largely goes unnoticed?
I think, whether we like it or not, body shape is the key thing we are attracted to and everything else comes after that. What do you think?
I think most people don't really know what attracts them to someone. We know that some features are more attractive than others, but we also know that smells at the subconscious play a role, how they make us feel and react to us. I think most people find someone attractive and retrofit and explanation later. Hence you get bullshit like "he's got nice eyes"
Maybe attraction works on a holistic level and simply isn't reducible in the usual analytical sense (apologies for the sudden dive into highbrow guys but I know broken can take it )
I think it's a probabilistic, dynamic system. There is logic there, but i know I've instantly lost attraction with some women for pretty trivial reasons. Last time was when i heard an otherwise attractive woman say the phrase "Oh my days". "
I think you're right that it's like a series of check boxes. The more that get ticked the more excited we get until one comes back wrong that's a major issue for us and then the whole house of cards falls |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"However from a lot of your posts on here I understand that you're looking for a partner so you need to make sure that any potential lovers are going to be on your wavelength, is that right? If so I think you need to stop trying to be someone you think your ideal partner wants because your ideal partner is the one who wants the real you. "
I totally agree. Anyone who sits with me for a while over a drink or two quickly gets to know the real me. But I don't know if how I come across initially is the true me. Maybe I'm guarded? Maybe I've just formed habits in how I act? Or I'm just shy? All I know is that in social situations I often shut down and become a bit "nice" and vanilla and maybe meek and maybe not much going on in my head... and that's not really me. Part of solving that is overcoming my nerves and just relaxing. But I wonder if there's also some triggers that I'm not giving off. Hmm just a thought |
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"However from a lot of your posts on here I understand that you're looking for a partner so you need to make sure that any potential lovers are going to be on your wavelength, is that right? If so I think you need to stop trying to be someone you think your ideal partner wants because your ideal partner is the one who wants the real you.
I totally agree. Anyone who sits with me for a while over a drink or two quickly gets to know the real me. But I don't know if how I come across initially is the true me. Maybe I'm guarded? Maybe I've just formed habits in how I act? Or I'm just shy? All I know is that in social situations I often shut down and become a bit "nice" and vanilla and maybe meek and maybe not much going on in my head... and that's not really me. Part of solving that is overcoming my nerves and just relaxing. But I wonder if there's also some triggers that I'm not giving off. Hmm just a thought "
Very few people come across as the real them initially. I've said this before but I'll say it again you're way over thinking this. That actually could be the impression you initially give.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"However from a lot of your posts on here I understand that you're looking for a partner so you need to make sure that any potential lovers are going to be on your wavelength, is that right? If so I think you need to stop trying to be someone you think your ideal partner wants because your ideal partner is the one who wants the real you.
I totally agree. Anyone who sits with me for a while over a drink or two quickly gets to know the real me. But I don't know if how I come across initially is the true me. Maybe I'm guarded? Maybe I've just formed habits in how I act? Or I'm just shy? All I know is that in social situations I often shut down and become a bit "nice" and vanilla and maybe meek and maybe not much going on in my head... and that's not really me. Part of solving that is overcoming my nerves and just relaxing. But I wonder if there's also some triggers that I'm not giving off. Hmm just a thought
Very few people come across as the real them initially. I've said this before but I'll say it again you're way over thinking this. That actually could be the impression you initially give."
Haha most probably. So in that case the remedy is quite simple. Just get d*unk and stop giving a fuck... I like it! |
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Like others have said you can't become something different to attract someone, you are who you are and will attract people that like you. Life's difficult enough without trying to be someone your not, if your awkward socially then you are, it's still you ,just a different aspect of you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Like others have said you can't become something different to attract someone, you are who you are and will attract people that like you. Life's difficult enough without trying to be someone your not, if your awkward socially then you are, it's still you ,just a different aspect of you."
Words of wisdom right there. Deep! Thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Face everytime. Yes I do like muscular and toned bodies but if a guy was chiseled but had (to me) an unattractive face then I wouldn't be interested. Also if they did have a handsome face but then turned out to not be interesting or have a personality then it's also unlikely I'd want to take things any further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a great body suggests a person takes care of themselves and reflects some positive traits in their personalities.
Face and personality are huge but a great body is the most important part of attraction for me. |
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"I think a great body suggests a person takes care of themselves and reflects some positive traits in their personalities.
Face and personality are huge but a great body is the most important part of attraction for me."
It suggests vanity to many people and lots equate it with an ugly personality. That isn't my personal view but I've seenany threads on here that suggest this. |
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"Like others have said you can't become something different to attract someone, you are who you are and will attract people that like you. Life's difficult enough without trying to be someone your not, if your awkward socially then you are, it's still you ,just a different aspect of you."
But that's off topic
I think attraction is the whole package,and it depends wholly on why your looking , life partner or fuck buddy, body shape wouldn't be high on my list for a life partner, humour, intelligence, kindness and fuckability would be.
But if a rugby dude walks in the room I'll probably have a sneaky peek,but that's just lust.
I'd always want a guy I'm with to be substantial but that's because I'm not one of those delicate women ,and like something to get my teeth into ( yeah literally).
Maybe subliminally we all want a protector but I feel that's a simplistic view of the complexities of attraction. |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
Sexual attraction depends on what setting I interact with a man in.
ONLINE - For me it's the mental connection that trumps everything. I've slept with quite a few men who were average looks and body wise but our minds met and there was so much attraction the sex was incredible
IN PERSON / REAL LIFE - from a distance it's the face and body both because I don't know their mind. However, many a very hot bodied bloke ended up being a no-go for me as soon as they opened their mouths
IN PERSON / REAL LIFE - but with enough time to talk to and get to know him. See #1 above
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"However from a lot of your posts on here I understand that you're looking for a partner so you need to make sure that any potential lovers are going to be on your wavelength, is that right? If so I think you need to stop trying to be someone you think your ideal partner wants because your ideal partner is the one who wants the real you.
I totally agree. Anyone who sits with me for a while over a drink or two quickly gets to know the real me. But I don't know if how I come across initially is the true me. Maybe I'm guarded? Maybe I've just formed habits in how I act? Or I'm just shy? All I know is that in social situations I often shut down and become a bit "nice" and vanilla and maybe meek and maybe not much going on in my head... and that's not really me. Part of solving that is overcoming my nerves and just relaxing. But I wonder if there's also some triggers that I'm not giving off. Hmm just a thought
Very few people come across as the real them initially. I've said this before but I'll say it again you're way over thinking this. That actually could be the impression you initially give.
Haha most probably. So in that case the remedy is quite simple. Just get d*unk and stop giving a fuck... I like it! "
Or , like us , you could just not give a fuck without getting pissed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a great body suggests a person takes care of themselves and reflects some positive traits in their personalities.
Face and personality are huge but a great body is the most important part of attraction for me.
It suggests vanity to many people and lots equate it with an ugly personality. That isn't my personal view but I've seenany threads on here that suggest this. "
Each to their own.
For me, physical shape and appearances reflect personal standards.
I don't think physical fitness and vanity are mutually exclusive.
I personally just find great physiques more attractive, but dont judge anyone else who may not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sexual attraction (swinging wise) is so different to relationship attraction ..sexual attraction to me is all about fun confidents yes body and face to a degree but fun at the end of the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Face every time for me followed by body.
Thanks for replying. I think I'm too scary for everyone else
If you saw a guy with a very good looking face who was morbidly obese or disturbingly thin would you still be attracted to him? "
Good question. The answer for me is no. I would go for body shape
Mrs x |
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it"
I have many a time. Sometimes I see a beautiful woman and not get turned on. Other times I can see a pretty ordinary woman and think you are sexy as hell. I can't put a finger on what turns me on about her. Well, I can if she is a small in height women. I love small women lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I have many a time. Sometimes I see a beautiful woman and not get turned on. Other times I can see a pretty ordinary woman and think you are sexy as hell. I can't put a finger on what turns me on about her. Well, I can if she is a small in height women. I love small women lol. "
It's called sex appeal. You don't have to have the best face or the best body..you either have it or you don't |
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I have many a time. Sometimes I see a beautiful woman and not get turned on. Other times I can see a pretty ordinary woman and think you are sexy as hell. I can't put a finger on what turns me on about her. Well, I can if she is a small in height women. I love small women lol.
It's called sex appeal. You don't have to have the best face or the best body..you either have it or you don't "
True up to a point. I know for a fact some women I find sexy some of my mate's will and some won't find sexy. Same the other way around. Some of the women my mates find sexy I don't find them sexy.
Who we see as sexy is totally unique to us as unique individuals. We all find different people sexy and not sexy. Of couse we all sometimes find the same people sexy.
On saying that though I have met women I have not been sexually atracted to at first. Then when I have got to know them I have become sexually attracted to them because of their personality. Especially if they have a good sense of humour or are adventerous.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I go for face rather than body type. My most recent ex was quite buff and muscular, my first serious fella was quite slim and lean. In between i’ve had two lovers who were very obese, one of whom oozed so much sex appeal it was ridiculous.
I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
Obviously they have to have other things going for them too, but it’s definitely not their body that initially attracts me.
Can you try and decipher what it is that conjures up that sense in you that a man is pure filth? Or is it just weird illogical voodoo magic?
I would say it’s like an aura they give off but i’m aware that makes me sound like a prat i dont know. Some people just have that something
C'mon you lot Can't you dissect it even a tiny bit more than that? Is there a common thread? Or is it just the way they wear air juice haha havent you ever looked at a girl and there was something about her but couldnt put your finger on it
I have many a time. Sometimes I see a beautiful woman and not get turned on. Other times I can see a pretty ordinary woman and think you are sexy as hell. I can't put a finger on what turns me on about her. Well, I can if she is a small in height women. I love small women lol.
It's called sex appeal. You don't have to have the best face or the best body..you either have it or you don't
True up to a point. I know for a fact some women I find sexy some of my mate's will and some won't find sexy. Same the other way around. Some of the women my mates find sexy I don't find them sexy.
Who we see as sexy is totally unique to us as unique individuals. We all find different people sexy and not sexy. Of couse we all sometimes find the same people sexy.
On saying that though I have met women I have not been sexually atracted to at first. Then when I have got to know them I have become sexually attracted to them because of their personality. Especially if they have a good sense of humour or are adventerous.
"
Yea I totally get what you're saying |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”."
I woke up this morning with a good theory on what this is. I think it's an imposing masculine presence. Bear with me and I'll explain.
What I think gets most men hugely excited is a woman who wears herself well. She knows she's sexy and she's happy to show that. Too much of a tart and it's offputting, like she's too easy and cheap. Hidden away in a cloth sack and she's too nervous or shy about herself. Now, either of these can at times have a strange allure. But usually there is a wonderful middle ground in which she wears something tight and slightly revealing but not too much. And then there's the way she acts. Sultry looks. Lingered eye contact. Playing with her hair. Subtly posing her body for the most enticing view. In short, she is in full awareness of the gorgeousness of her physical presence, her feminine allure, and is happy to use it effectively in the way she relates to people. She is comfortable that she is sexy and the whole world knows that.
I think the exact same thing could be said about men... But very very few men get it. Instead they try to be bulls or alphas to try and stamp some masculinity on the situation. They take assertiveness courses on how to come across as cocky and arrogant. In short, utterly bewildered by how to attract women, they try lots of partially related tactics but fail to see the elephant in the room. All that women really want is the same quiet confidence about yourself, that you are sexy in a masculine sense, and that you wear yourself well. Men don't need to go to the gym or learn how to be arrogant arses to do that... they just need to become comfortable with who they are and develop a belief that they are, in their own sweet way, sexy.
How does that sound? |
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"I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
I woke up this morning with a good theory on what this is. I think it's an imposing masculine presence. Bear with me and I'll explain.
What I think gets most men hugely excited is a woman who wears herself well. She knows she's sexy and she's happy to show that. Too much of a tart and it's offputting, like she's too easy and cheap. Hidden away in a cloth sack and she's too nervous or shy about herself. Now, either of these can at times have a strange allure. But usually there is a wonderful middle ground in which she wears something tight and slightly revealing but not too much. And then there's the way she acts. Sultry looks. Lingered eye contact. Playing with her hair. Subtly posing her body for the most enticing view. In short, she is in full awareness of the gorgeousness of her physical presence, her feminine allure, and is happy to use it effectively in the way she relates to people. She is comfortable that she is sexy and the whole world knows that.
I think the exact same thing could be said about men... But very very few men get it. Instead they try to be bulls or alphas to try and stamp some masculinity on the situation. They take assertiveness courses on how to come across as cocky and arrogant. In short, utterly bewildered by how to attract women, they try lots of partially related tactics but fail to see the elephant in the room. All that women really want is the same quiet confidence about yourself, that you are sexy in a masculine sense, and that you wear yourself well. Men don't need to go to the gym or learn how to be arrogant arses to do that... they just need to become comfortable with who they are and develop a belief that they are, in their own sweet way, sexy.
How does that sound? "
I think that if you're a man and you go on assertiveness training, then you'd get a better calibre of partner by chopping off your cock and transitioning to be a woman. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Men don't need to go to the gym or learn how to be arrogant arses to do that... they just need to become comfortable with who they are and develop a belief that they are, in their own sweet way, sexy.
How does that sound? "
Like you might actually be on to something. That self confidence is definitely something that has some impact on how attractive I find another. |
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"It's the first thing we see about a person; their shape. When asked what most attracts them, men often pick something about the body and women often pick something about the face. Yet, if this is so, why do women always swoon when some bland dude with a rugby body enters the room while a good looking guy largely goes unnoticed?
I think, whether we like it or not, body shape is the key thing we are attracted to and everything else comes after that. What do you think? "
The evolution of attraction will be different depending on whether you're a male or female. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think that if you're a man and you go on assertiveness training, then you'd get a better calibre of partner by chopping off your cock and transitioning to be a woman. "
And that was an appropriate response to a post suggesting men don't need to do macho displays to impress women how? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Men don't need to go to the gym or learn how to be arrogant arses to do that... they just need to become comfortable with who they are and develop a belief that they are, in their own sweet way, sexy.
How does that sound?
Like you might actually be on to something. That self confidence is definitely something that has some impact on how attractive I find another. "
I agree. I think it's totally mutual. That physical confidence in a woman is intoxicating |
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"I think that if you're a man and you go on assertiveness training, then you'd get a better calibre of partner by chopping off your cock and transitioning to be a woman.
And that was an appropriate response to a post suggesting men don't need to do macho displays to impress women how? "
Remember what i told you about neediness? (When you create your self worth from external perceptions above your internal). Assertiveness training reeks of that kind of insecurity that you need to try and fundamentally change your personality for external validation. That's not an argument against self improvement, but i was using hyperbole to indicate that your example crossed over a line from self improvement and into neediness. |
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"I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
I woke up this morning with a good theory on what this is. I think it's an imposing masculine presence. Bear with me and I'll explain.
What I think gets most men hugely excited is a woman who wears herself well. She knows she's sexy and she's happy to show that. Too much of a tart and it's offputting, like she's too easy and cheap. Hidden away in a cloth sack and she's too nervous or shy about herself. Now, either of these can at times have a strange allure. But usually there is a wonderful middle ground in which she wears something tight and slightly revealing but not too much. And then there's the way she acts. Sultry looks. Lingered eye contact. Playing with her hair. Subtly posing her body for the most enticing view. In short, she is in full awareness of the gorgeousness of her physical presence, her feminine allure, and is happy to use it effectively in the way she relates to people. She is comfortable that she is sexy and the whole world knows that.
I think the exact same thing could be said about men... But very very few men get it. Instead they try to be bulls or alphas to try and stamp some masculinity on the situation. They take assertiveness courses on how to come across as cocky and arrogant. In short, utterly bewildered by how to attract women, they try lots of partially related tactics but fail to see the elephant in the room. All that women really want is the same quiet confidence about yourself, that you are sexy in a masculine sense, and that you wear yourself well. Men don't need to go to the gym or learn how to be arrogant arses to do that... they just need to become comfortable with who they are and develop a belief that they are, in their own sweet way, sexy.
How does that sound? "
Your penultimate sentence is correct. Just be who you are if you don't think its goox enough, why would anyone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
I woke up this morning with a good theory on what this is. I think it's an imposing masculine presence. Bear with me and I'll explain.
What I think gets most men hugely excited is a woman who wears herself well. She knows she's sexy and she's happy to show that. Too much of a tart and it's offputting, like she's too easy and cheap. Hidden away in a cloth sack and she's too nervous or shy about herself. Now, either of these can at times have a strange allure. But usually there is a wonderful middle ground in which she wears something tight and slightly revealing but not too much. And then there's the way she acts. Sultry looks. Lingered eye contact. Playing with her hair. Subtly posing her body for the most enticing view. In short, she is in full awareness of the gorgeousness of her physical presence, her feminine allure, and is happy to use it effectively in the way she relates to people. She is comfortable that she is sexy and the whole world knows that.
I think the exact same thing could be said about men... But very very few men get it. Instead they try to be bulls or alphas to try and stamp some masculinity on the situation. They take assertiveness courses on how to come across as cocky and arrogant. In short, utterly bewildered by how to attract women, they try lots of partially related tactics but fail to see the elephant in the room. All that women really want is the same quiet confidence about yourself, that you are sexy in a masculine sense, and that you wear yourself well. Men don't need to go to the gym or learn how to be arrogant arses to do that... they just need to become comfortable with who they are and develop a belief that they are, in their own sweet way, sexy.
How does that sound?
Your penultimate sentence is correct. Just be who you are if you don't think its goox enough, why would anyone else"
I try to be myself around men, especially on here. If they are attracted to the real me they are keepers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both body and mind play a part as others have said, wit and humour work for me, maybe a female thing?
And energy, aura, confidence, personality, whatever you call that 'ooo'.
Always bewilders me when couple profiles only show pics of the woman, am I supposed to fancy your bloke because you do? Because he has a cock pic? Get the other side of those cameras chaps!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it's in the eyes. If a man is attracted to me it shows In his eyes, the way he'll look at me is predatory, tells new there and then I'm in trouble and I'm hooked. He can be any shape size or colour but when it's there it's there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All that women really want is the same quiet confidence about yourself, that you are sexy in a masculine sense, and that you wear yourself well. Men don't need to go to the gym or learn how to be arrogant arses to do that... they just need to become comfortable with who they are and develop a belief that they are, in their own sweet way, sexy.
How does that sound?
Your penultimate sentence is correct. Just be who you are if you don't think its good enough, why would anyone else"
I agree that this is basically what I'm saying. But I'm hinting at something slightly more novel. This is that what women find phwoar in men, just as men find in women, is physical confidence. This goes back to my original point but in a more nuanced way. The king of sexual attraction isn't body shape... it's how you use your body. That's my new over thought hypothesis of the day |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me it's in the eyes. If a man is attracted to me it shows In his eyes, the way he'll look at me is predatory, tells new there and then I'm in trouble and I'm hooked. He can be any shape size or colour but when it's there it's there. "
Great reply Misty
But there's a fine line between a creepy stare and a powerful intoxicating "I want you" glare |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it's in the eyes. If a man is attracted to me it shows In his eyes, the way he'll look at me is predatory, tells new there and then I'm in trouble and I'm hooked. He can be any shape size or colour but when it's there it's there.
Great reply Misty
But there's a fine line between a creepy stare and a powerful intoxicating "I want you" glare "
I would hope I can tell the difference! They'll usually be licking their lips and trying to conceal an erection too.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This all sounds like a lot of 'trying' to be attractive to others and not very natural.
That wouldn't be attractive to me at all "
I think most men "try" to be attractive. So do most women (make up? high heels?). The issue is where are you applying your effort to be attractive. Is it all about outward show? Or tricks and acting? I agree that all this sounds fake and too much like trying. But the thing I'm getting at here is more of a relaxed physical confidence and self belief. You can't fake that. Instead of seeking dating coaching you're best off doing yoga and meditation and dance and developing that inner peace and comfort with yourself and your body. That shit has got to be real.
As it is, loads of women are always falling for jerks who are trying to be something they aren't. That's the current state of affairs. It's what happens every Saturday night down in the local town's bars. You can't blame decent guys for wondering how the heck this car crash happens with all the jerks so often when it doesn't even get anywhere near them. If you want to date decent guys it behoves women to help them figure out what it is that turns them on about the jerks. If that really is about their physical confidence then decent guys don't need to watch videos about how to be jerks. They simply have to develop physical confidence |
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"Iry to be bulls or alphas to try and stamp some masculinity on the situation. They take assertiveness courses on how to come across as cocky and arrogant. In short, utterly bewildered by how to attract women, they try lots of partially related tactics but fail to see the elephant in the room. All that women really want is the same quiet confidence about yourself, that you are sexy in a masculine sense, and that you wear yourself well. Men don't need to go to the gym or learn how to be arrogant arses to do that... they just need to become comfortable with who they are and develop a belief that they are, in their own sweet way, sexy.
Your penultimate sentence is correct. Just be who you are if you don't think its goox enough, why would anyone else
I try to be myself around men, especially on here. If they are attracted to the real me they are keepers. "
I try to be myself around everyone. It's not always a popular choice . I don't go on for faux flattery or saying what I think people want to hear. If someone asks for advice I try to give useful answers rather than say something that will make me look good and give them temporary relief only to make things worse down the line.
Some people like me, many don't. I can live with that . I think it's only when you realise that you can't be universally liked that you can be your real self. |
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"This all sounds like a lot of 'trying' to be attractive to others and not very natural.
That wouldn't be attractive to me at all
I think most men "try" to be attractive. So do most women (make up? high heels?). The issue is where are you applying your effort to be attractive. Is it all about outward show? Or tricks and acting? I agree that all this sounds fake and too much like trying. But the thing I'm getting at here is more of a relaxed physical confidence and self belief. You can't fake that. Instead of seeking dating coaching you're best off doing yoga and meditation and dance and developing that inner peace and comfort with yourself and your body. That shit has got to be real.
As it is, loads of women are always falling for jerks who are trying to be something they aren't. That's the current state of affairs. It's what happens every Saturday night down in the local town's bars. You can't blame decent guys for wondering how the heck this car crash happens with all the jerks so often when it doesn't even get anywhere near them. If you want to date decent guys it behoves women to help them figure out what it is that turns them on about the jerks. If that really is about their physical confidence then decent guys don't need to watch videos about how to be jerks. They simply have to develop physical confidence "
This is a common belief that many men hold. In my experience it's wrong. Some women do go for jerks and repeat the pattern. Your implication is that women ate shallow creatures who can't see beyond a facade put up by some men. We aren't that stupid and your suggestion that we are is insulting to womankind. You either need to mix on different circles or stop reading stuff about howen and women interact written by cynics. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This all sounds like a lot of 'trying' to be attractive to others and not very natural.
That wouldn't be attractive to me at all
I think most men "try" to be attractive. So do most women (make up? high heels?). The issue is where are you applying your effort to be attractive. Is it all about outward show? Or tricks and acting? I agree that all this sounds fake and too much like trying. But the thing I'm getting at here is more of a relaxed physical confidence and self belief. You can't fake that. Instead of seeking dating coaching you're best off doing yoga and meditation and dance and developing that inner peace and comfort with yourself and your body. That shit has got to be real.
As it is, loads of women are always falling for jerks who are trying to be something they aren't. That's the current state of affairs. It's what happens every Saturday night down in the local town's bars. You can't blame decent guys for wondering how the heck this car crash happens with all the jerks so often when it doesn't even get anywhere near them. If you want to date decent guys it behoves women to help them figure out what it is that turns them on about the jerks. If that really is about their physical confidence then decent guys don't need to watch videos about how to be jerks. They simply have to develop physical confidence
This is a common belief that many men hold. In my experience it's wrong. Some women do go for jerks and repeat the pattern. Your implication is that women ate shallow creatures who can't see beyond a facade put up by some men. We aren't that stupid and your suggestion that we are is insulting to womankind. You either need to mix on different circles or stop reading stuff about howen and women interact written by cynics. "
I agree to some degree and I was a bit conflicted about writing it. But I was reacting to the idea that we're either naturally attractive or we should just give up because we'd just be faking it. I'm a big believer in continual self improvement all through life. And I'm definitely not sold on the idea that the guys out there who appear to be naturally attractive really are when you get under the surface |
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"This all sounds like a lot of 'trying' to be attractive to others and not very natural.
That wouldn't be attractive to me at all
I think most men "try" to be attractive. So do most women (make up? high heels?). The issue is where are you applying your effort to be attractive. Is it all about outward show? Or tricks and acting? I agree that all this sounds fake and too much like trying. But the thing I'm getting at here is more of a relaxed physical confidence and self belief. You can't fake that. Instead of seeking dating coaching you're best off doing yoga and meditation and dance and developing that inner peace and comfort with yourself and your body. That shit has got to be real.
As it is, loads of women are always falling for jerks who are trying to be something they aren't. That's the current state of affairs. It's what happens every Saturday night down in the local town's bars. You can't blame decent guys for wondering how the heck this car crash happens with all the jerks so often when it doesn't even get anywhere near them. If you want to date decent guys it behoves women to help them figure out what it is that turns them on about the jerks. If that really is about their physical confidence then decent guys don't need to watch videos about how to be jerks. They simply have to develop physical confidence
This is a common belief that many men hold. In my experience it's wrong. Some women do go for jerks and repeat the pattern. Your implication is that women ate shallow creatures who can't see beyond a facade put up by some men. We aren't that stupid and your suggestion that we are is insulting to womankind. You either need to mix on different circles or stop reading stuff about howen and women interact written by cynics.
I agree to some degree and I was a bit conflicted about writing it. But I was reacting to the idea that we're either naturally attractive or we should just give up because we'd just be faking it. I'm a big believer in continual self improvement all through life. And I'm definitely not sold on the idea that the guys out there who appear to be naturally attractive really are when you get under the surface "
Appear to be naturally attractive to who? Women find all sorts of men attractive. Next time you go shopping look at the couples walking about (of all types) and see if your theories about what type of man women find attractive holds true. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It amuses me when women express such allergies to men trying to make themselves more attractive to women, insisting that they want them to be entirely natural... before then themselves putting on a corset, face paints, clothing bought to achieve a deliberate effect, and high heels. The hypocrisy is staggering.
It's perfectly reasonable for a man who wants to attract women he finds attractive to make sure he is coming across in a way that's optimally attractive to them. It's what women do all the time |
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"It amuses me when women express such allergies to men trying to make themselves more attractive to women, insisting that they want them to be entirely natural... before then themselves putting on a corset, face paints, clothing bought to achieve a deliberate effect, and high heels. The hypocrisy is staggering.
It's perfectly reasonable for a man who wants to attract women he finds attractive to make sure he is coming across in a way that's optimally attractive to them. It's what women do all the time "
You're talking about appearing to have a different personality. As far as I'm aware a padded bra and eyeliner can't achieve that. Although in terms of appearing to be something you're not I agree it is hypocrisy.
Good luck {genuinely} in your search for a lady and your quest to present yourself in the optimum way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It amuses me when women express such allergies to men trying to make themselves more attractive to women, insisting that they want them to be entirely natural... before then themselves putting on a corset, face paints, clothing bought to achieve a deliberate effect, and high heels. The hypocrisy is staggering.
It's perfectly reasonable for a man who wants to attract women he finds attractive to make sure he is coming across in a way that's optimally attractive to them. It's what women do all the time
You're talking about appearing to have a different personality. As far as I'm aware a padded bra and eyeliner can't achieve that. Although in terms of appearing to be something you're not I agree it is hypocrisy.
Good luck {genuinely} in your search for a lady and your quest to present yourself in the optimum way. "
Thanks I don't see how talk about developing physical confidence and becoming more aware of how to use body language better adds up to trying to appear to have a different personality.  Surely it's just about coming across better (in any social situation) and developing self confidence and making peace with one's body image? I can't see any fakery or pretending you're something you're not in any of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It amuses me when women express such allergies to men trying to make themselves more attractive to women, insisting that they want them to be entirely natural... before then themselves putting on a corset, face paints, clothing bought to achieve a deliberate effect, and high heels. The hypocrisy is staggering.
It's perfectly reasonable for a man who wants to attract women he finds attractive to make sure he is coming across in a way that's optimally attractive to them. It's what women do all the time "
Not all women adorn themselves in that way to attract men.
And I didn't think you were talking about decoration...more just how a person 'is' |
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"It amuses me when women express such allergies to men trying to make themselves more attractive to women, insisting that they want them to be entirely natural... before then themselves putting on a corset, face paints, clothing bought to achieve a deliberate effect, and high heels. The hypocrisy is staggering.
It's perfectly reasonable for a man who wants to attract women he finds attractive to make sure he is coming across in a way that's optimally attractive to them. It's what women do all the time
You're talking about appearing to have a different personality. As far as I'm aware a padded bra and eyeliner can't achieve that. Although in terms of appearing to be something you're not I agree it is hypocrisy.
Good luck {genuinely} in your search for a lady and your quest to present yourself in the optimum way.
Thanks I don't see how talk about developing physical confidence and becoming more aware of how to use body language better adds up to trying to appear to have a different personality. Surely it's just about coming across better (in any social situation) and developing self confidence and making peace with one's body image? I can't see any fakery or pretending you're something you're not in any of that. "
OK . As I say, best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the first thing we see about a person; their shape. When asked what most attracts them, men often pick something about the body and women often pick something about the face. Yet, if this is so, why do women always swoon when some bland dude with a rugby body enters the room while a good looking guy largely goes unnoticed?
I think, whether we like it or not, body shape is the key thing we are attracted to and everything else comes after that. What do you think? "
There is a particular mens body type I feel especially attracted to. But it doesn't mean I'd sleep with everyone of that type. The rest has to tick my boxes too. And if the man has a different body type but I like everything else about him it doesn't mean I wouldn't find him attractive.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It amuses me when women express such allergies to men trying to make themselves more attractive to women, insisting that they want them to be entirely natural... before then themselves putting on a corset, face paints, clothing bought to achieve a deliberate effect, and high heels. The hypocrisy is staggering.
It's perfectly reasonable for a man who wants to attract women he finds attractive to make sure he is coming across in a way that's optimally attractive to them. It's what women do all the time
Not all women adorn themselves in that way to attract men.
And I didn't think you were talking about decoration...more just how a person 'is' "
How a person comes across (body language etc) not who they are I like the flirty emoji and it's slightly erotic when you flirt and disagree with me at the same time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the first thing we see about a person; their shape. When asked what most attracts them, men often pick something about the body and women often pick something about the face. Yet, if this is so, why do women always swoon when some bland dude with a rugby body enters the room while a good looking guy largely goes unnoticed?
I think, whether we like it or not, body shape is the key thing we are attracted to and everything else comes after that. What do you think? "
I agree that my eye is drawn to a good looking body but... it’s a huge but... once I start talking to them if there is NO mental connection no hanky lanky will ever happen.
However, I can talk to someone who is average looking and their personality catches me and then the fun starts.
Think what I’m saying is physicality is only part of it. Hence, why I like the clubs - I meet the nice guys, the good guys, who want fun and that’s exactly what we have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My first reaction is to a person's eyes. If I see a sexy smile and a devilish twinkle in them that's enough for me"
I love a naughty smile and a dirty wink  |
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I like the package, the holism of style - their form, face, movement, personality and small elements can add and detract from a sense of someone's overall persona. Sometimes we get snippets, not all of these and make snap judgements but can reevaluate as we discover more - I do. |
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And here's me thinking that it was well shined shoes and a tidy haircut that attracted most women
If you read my profile you'll see that I start with a disadvantage compared to most guys. However I have found that a sense of humour and gentlemanly conduct (courteous, good manners, cleanliness and respect), go a long way towards building a rapport with my lady of desire.
Faint heart never won fair maid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m attracted to men who have that vibe about them that makes you think “fwoar you look like pure filth”.
I woke up this morning with a good theory on what this is. I think it's an imposing masculine presence. Bear with me and I'll explain.
What I think gets most men hugely excited is a woman who wears herself well. She knows she's sexy and she's happy to show that. Too much of a tart and it's offputting, like she's too easy and cheap. Hidden away in a cloth sack and she's too nervous or shy about herself. Now, either of these can at times have a strange allure. But usually there is a wonderful middle ground in which she wears something tight and slightly revealing but not too much. And then there's the way she acts. Sultry looks. Lingered eye contact. Playing with her hair. Subtly posing her body for the most enticing view. In short, she is in full awareness of the gorgeousness of her physical presence, her feminine allure, and is happy to use it effectively in the way she relates to people. She is comfortable that she is sexy and the whole world knows that.
I think the exact same thing could be said about men... But very very few men get it. Instead they try to be bulls or alphas to try and stamp some masculinity on the situation. They take assertiveness courses on how to come across as cocky and arrogant. In short, utterly bewildered by how to attract women, they try lots of partially related tactics but fail to see the elephant in the room. All that women really want is the same quiet confidence about yourself, that you are sexy in a masculine sense, and that you wear yourself well. Men don't need to go to the gym or learn how to be arrogant arses to do that... they just need to become comfortable with who they are and develop a belief that they are, in their own sweet way, sexy.
How does that sound? "
This |
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