FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Children in the house
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Ah this old thread again. Nothing like the subject of children to bring out peoples most irrational thoughts. " Why irrational? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x " not picking here many choose to wait or find a babysitter so they can have there fun. We dont know if the single male looks after the children 24/7 there is always other times during school hours if there older, or nursery times. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Ah this old thread again. Nothing like the subject of children to bring out peoples most irrational thoughts. Why irrational? " Because nearly all the objections people have are generic enough to apply to anyone coming into your house. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x " Sex with strangers is much more important than the safety of children. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Ah this old thread again. Nothing like the subject of children to bring out peoples most irrational thoughts. Why irrational? Because nearly all the objections people have are generic enough to apply to anyone coming into your house. " Really? I once met a guy who didn't tell me his kids were home. I went to the loo and his son walked in on me starkers having a piss. Pretty sure that's never happened when I've just gone round for tea. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Ah this old thread again. Nothing like the subject of children to bring out peoples most irrational thoughts. Why irrational? Because nearly all the objections people have are generic enough to apply to anyone coming into your house. Really? I once met a guy who didn't tell me his kids were home. I went to the loo and his son walked in on me starkers having a piss. Pretty sure that's never happened when I've just gone round for tea. " Where there's an insurmountable consequence of letting swingers in the house, good example. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Ah this old thread again. Nothing like the subject of children to bring out peoples most irrational thoughts. Why irrational? Because nearly all the objections people have are generic enough to apply to anyone coming into your house. Really? I once met a guy who didn't tell me his kids were home. I went to the loo and his son walked in on me starkers having a piss. Pretty sure that's never happened when I've just gone round for tea. Where there's an insurmountable consequence of letting swingers in the house, good example. " Sorry, you've lost me..... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Last night we arranged a meet at the home off a guy on here. He asked us to read his profile and I did. Great verifications and yes his profile stated he was a single dad. How ever it did state that there was only certain times he could meet. I just assumed it was when children weren't there. On our way my hubby says just double check he is on his own and children aren't there. The guy messaged immediately to they were in bed and flat out. So I politely told the guy it was a deal breaker for us. He has since got the hump and blocked us. Personally I think its wrong to do this with kids in the house. I do feel for him as he has kids but why would you risk your kids walking in ?" As I once was a single parent NOTHING on this planet would get me meeting strangers in my own home with child in bed and that was just single women. My reasoning There always a eliment of risk meeting any stranger and if I allowed some women who turned out to have alternative motives and was to spike my drink or smoke.... who th she’ll would protect my child. Only a uncaring fu@@ing idiot would do this | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"The need for a shag is never more important than children's safety! " Because inviting people into your house is interchangeable with offering your children up as a human sacrifice. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"The need for a shag is never more important than children's safety! " I maybe being a little slow, or argumentative, but how is children’s safety affected? We use a corner sofa in the living room (so much fun) and the kids are in their rooms. We have a downstairs toilet so absolutely no reason to go upstairs. If there was kids in the house next door would that bother anyone? Even if the exact same walls were used to separate the rooms, blockwork etc? I’m guessing then the issue is with doors.. So, what have doors done wrong? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I think for a first or even second meet its a no. But if it's someone you know and trust, I see no issue. People have friends over with their kids in bed to watch football/films. Parents have sex with the kids in the house. If you'd have someone over for a cup of tea with the kids in bed I don't see the difference. It's personal preference. The assumption they're a bad parent or not thinking about their kid is a massive judgement. Maybe they can't get a babysitter? Maybe the kid doesn't go to school/nursery or maybe they work during those hours. This But I forgot.... Having kids means you don't get a sex life right? If it's not for you. Fine. But don't see the need to bash them all over the forums for it. " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar." Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them " Is the flippant response Having a child stood outside a locked door knocking until they are heard, potentially hearing strange noises while they do so, and then waiting while the occupants get dressed, wondering why it is locked in the first place is still enough reason for me not to want to entertain the idea. And there is a world of difference between stumbling in on their parents and stumbling in on their parents plus one or more others. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them " That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them Is the flippant response Having a child stood outside a locked door knocking until they are heard, potentially hearing strange noises while they do so, and then waiting while the occupants get dressed, wondering why it is locked in the first place is still enough reason for me not to want to entertain the idea. And there is a world of difference between stumbling in on their parents and stumbling in on their parents plus one or more others." Don't do it then, nobody is trying to force you to do it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. " True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them Is the flippant response Having a child stood outside a locked door knocking until they are heard, potentially hearing strange noises while they do so, and then waiting while the occupants get dressed, wondering why it is locked in the first place is still enough reason for me not to want to entertain the idea. And there is a world of difference between stumbling in on their parents and stumbling in on their parents plus one or more others. Don't do it then, nobody is trying to force you to do it. " I didn't suggest for a second anyone was trying to "force" me - the OP asked for others thoughts on a situation they were faced with and I provided them, and then backed them up when they were questioned - simple as | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to." Mine did, but I would still have been wary of strangers coming into my house with them there. You can't know if someone is a psycho and I wouldn't risk it with my children. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to." Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Mine did, but I would still have been wary of strangers coming into my house with them there. You can't know if someone is a psycho and I wouldn't risk it with my children. " Exact reason why I could never do it when I was single parent You never know who or why they are really bisiting | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? " How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to." Even children that "sleep like rocks" wake up unexpectedly for any number of reasons you know And per the OPs post they were invited into the house of an "interweb stranger" whose word they are supposed to accept for their child's sleeping capability and made their own "judgement call" that it wasn't something they wished to be party to and IMHO that was the right decision to have made. If others choose otherwise that's their choice but wouldn't be one I could make personally. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" " You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. " Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. " Of course there are risks in every single action and decision you take in life and you weigh up those risks and assess which are acceptable risks and which are not. For me, the risk of a child seeing me involved in sexual acts with their parents and/or strangers is not a risk I personally would be willing to take. So by going ahead with a meet with a child in the house you are increasing that risk by 100% over not having that meet or doing it at a time or in a place where there is no possibility at all of them being able to see it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. " A babysitter and teachers are not strangers. What if the couple sedate the parents? Or they husband is easily overpowered? What if the couple bring a weapon? What if the toilet is upstairs by the child's room and they stranger goes into their room? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. A babysitter and teachers are not strangers. What if the couple sedate the parents? Or they husband is easily overpowered? What if the couple bring a weapon? What if the toilet is upstairs by the child's room and they stranger goes into their room? " Exactly, what if. That's why we have this magic thing called probability that expresses the risk of all those what if statements. So again, what is the increased risk to the child compared to the baseline risk in their normal life? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Licenced childminders, teachers, nursery staff and most babysitters are either DBS checked or close enough friends or relations that you know whether they are dangerous or not to your child, a stranger you've invited over purely on sexual attraction basis is very very unlikely to be checked or honest about history." And yet we know abuse still happens in schools, in nursery, at the hands of babysitters and family members. So again, how much is the risk increased? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Exactly, what if. That's why we have this magic thing called probability that expresses the risk of all those what if statements. So again, what is the increased risk to the child compared to the baseline risk in their normal life? " In their normal life their baseline risk is intensely controlled as they are supervised and monitored by parents, their own peers, teachers, nursery staff, grandparents and family friends etc, most have mobile phones and are very rarely left entirely alone. Would you put your children alone in a room with a stranger you've known for only a couple of hours entirely unsupervised, with no phone, means of defending themselves or knowledge of who this person is and how they got in your house? The only difference is that in the scenario were are talking about the children are asleep and unaware they potentially have a stranger in their house. Yes you may only be downstairs etc, having a fag whilst they are nipping to the loo but could you really get to your child to prevent them from harm in the space of time it takes for your child to call for help? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Licenced childminders, teachers, nursery staff and most babysitters are either DBS checked or close enough friends or relations that you know whether they are dangerous or not to your child, a stranger you've invited over purely on sexual attraction basis is very very unlikely to be checked or honest about history. And yet we know abuse still happens in schools, in nursery, at the hands of babysitters and family members. So again, how much is the risk increased? " Because if one of those professions is caught doing it they are left left in a position of trust around vulnerable people again. They are also far more likely to be caught through safeguarding procedures and have to prove their DBS is clear every three months, that they don't live with anybody who has ever been convicted, accused or had allegations of misconduct or who their status is unknown. They are also never allowed alone with a child these days unknown by other staff members. Anybody on this site can be registered paedophiles, you invite them into your homes and they can do whatever they like | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. A babysitter and teachers are not strangers. What if the couple sedate the parents? Or they husband is easily overpowered? What if the couple bring a weapon? What if the toilet is upstairs by the child's room and they stranger goes into their room? Exactly, what if. That's why we have this magic thing called probability that expresses the risk of all those what if statements. So again, what is the increased risk to the child compared to the baseline risk in their normal life? " Probability of something happening if I don't invite strangers into my house with my children in bed-0. I like 0 probabilities. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. A babysitter and teachers are not strangers. What if the couple sedate the parents? Or they husband is easily overpowered? What if the couple bring a weapon? What if the toilet is upstairs by the child's room and they stranger goes into their room? Exactly, what if. That's why we have this magic thing called probability that expresses the risk of all those what if statements. So again, what is the increased risk to the child compared to the baseline risk in their normal life? Probability of something happening if I don't invite strangers into my house with my children in bed-0. I like 0 probabilities. " So basically you just don't know what you're talking about and don't understand risk or probability. A child is 4x more likely to be abused by a family member, neighbour or baby sitter than they are a stranger. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Last night we arranged a meet at the home off a guy on here. He asked us to read his profile and I did. Great verifications and yes his profile stated he was a single dad. How ever it did state that there was only certain times he could meet. I just assumed it was when children weren't there. On our way my hubby says just double check he is on his own and children aren't there. The guy messaged immediately to they were in bed and flat out. So I politely told the guy it was a deal breaker for us. He has since got the hump and blocked us. Personally I think its wrong to do this with kids in the house. I do feel for him as he has kids but why would you risk your kids walking in ?" Thats not right | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. A babysitter and teachers are not strangers. What if the couple sedate the parents? Or they husband is easily overpowered? What if the couple bring a weapon? What if the toilet is upstairs by the child's room and they stranger goes into their room? " Way to go over the top! Christ you go on and on about risk yet what about control measures to mitigate the risk. At the end of the day, like this site, it is each to their own and nobody should judge others for their actions. Just because you wouldn’t do something and someone else is fine with it does not give anyone the right to preach. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. A babysitter and teachers are not strangers. What if the couple sedate the parents? Or they husband is easily overpowered? What if the couple bring a weapon? What if the toilet is upstairs by the child's room and they stranger goes into their room? Way to go over the top! Christ you go on and on about risk yet what about control measures to mitigate the risk. At the end of the day, like this site, it is each to their own and nobody should judge others for their actions. Just because you wouldn’t do something and someone else is fine with it does not give anyone the right to preach. " When it comes to safeguarding my children I will go way over the top. They could also have woken up and walk in on me, which woyld have been awful for them and me. I don't judge anyone for inviting people into their home, but I wouldn't have done it. We're talking total strangers here, not friends or teachers. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I'll always judge people that care more about their sex life than about their kids. " Stones and glass houses... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Ah this old thread again. Nothing like the subject of children to bring out peoples most irrational thoughts. Why irrational? Because nearly all the objections people have are generic enough to apply to anyone coming into your house. Really? I once met a guy who didn't tell me his kids were home. I went to the loo and his son walked in on me starkers having a piss. Pretty sure that's never happened when I've just gone round for tea. " This happened to me ! Well I wasn't starkers but they walked in on me.washing my hands. I yelped in suprise but the little girl seemed unphased. Made me super uncomfortable | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I'll always judge people that care more about their sex life than about their kids. Stones and glass houses..." What do you mean? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I'll always judge people that care more about their sex life than about their kids. Stones and glass houses... What do you mean? " I mean its not a good idea to go making bullshit statements like that unless you're totally confident that your own parenting never exposed your kids to any avoidable risks. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I'll always judge people that care more about their sex life than about their kids. Stones and glass houses... What do you mean? I mean its not a good idea to go making bullshit statements like that unless you're totally confident that your own parenting never exposed your kids to any avoidable risks." My statement is true for me- I will judge. It's not bullshit. I never said that I was a parent. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. A babysitter and teachers are not strangers. What if the couple sedate the parents? Or they husband is easily overpowered? What if the couple bring a weapon? What if the toilet is upstairs by the child's room and they stranger goes into their room? Way to go over the top! Christ you go on and on about risk yet what about control measures to mitigate the risk. At the end of the day, like this site, it is each to their own and nobody should judge others for their actions. Just because you wouldn’t do something and someone else is fine with it does not give anyone the right to preach. " Absolutely spot on When we first started swinging seven years ago we had the odd meet at home as the little one was pre school and always slept like a log . We never had a problem , not once . As he got older we decided to get sitters when we wanted to go out And that’s how we roll now , but we certainly don’t judge those who choose to meet at home with kids asleep . They as parent said know what’s best , and I do think people go way over the top with the way they pour such vitriol on those who meet at home with kids in the house . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I think for a first or even second meet its a no. But if it's someone you know and trust, I see no issue. People have friends over with their kids in bed to watch football/films. Parents have sex with the kids in the house. If you'd have someone over for a cup of tea with the kids in bed I don't see the difference. It's personal preference. The assumption they're a bad parent or not thinking about their kid is a massive judgement. Maybe they can't get a babysitter? Maybe the kid doesn't go to school/nursery or maybe they work during those hours. But I forgot.... Having kids means you don't get a sex life right? If it's not for you. Fine. But don't see the need to bash them all over the forums for it. " Love this! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I think for a first or even second meet its a no. But if it's someone you know and trust, I see no issue. People have friends over with their kids in bed to watch football/films. Parents have sex with the kids in the house. If you'd have someone over for a cup of tea with the kids in bed I don't see the difference. It's personal preference. The assumption they're a bad parent or not thinking about their kid is a massive judgement. Maybe they can't get a babysitter? Maybe the kid doesn't go to school/nursery or maybe they work during those hours. But I forgot.... Having kids means you don't get a sex life right? If it's not for you. Fine. But don't see the need to bash them all over the forums for it. Love this! " Me too | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"................................. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them " Vaseline! (old Billy Connelly joke!) | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I'm a single parent all be it mine are older now But no way would I bring someone to my house for a meet with the kids at home Yes I feel sorry for the guy in respect of the fact its so hard to get sitters and free child free time But come on, your children come first over your own needs !! " Yip exactly this. Even when I did have the house to myself I rarely had anyone at mine unless I’d met them first. It can be frustrating but my kids are my responsibility and I always put them first. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Don't do it then, nobody is trying to force you to do it." They know that. Don’t give people a hard time over their views and then act surprised that they’re going to justify that view. Also, demanding that someone express a risk as a percentage is ludicrous goading. Someone doesn’t have to know the percentage increase to know that there is an increased risk. For example, your statistic about who is most likely to perpetrate sexual abuse against children demonstrates your usual inability to fully understand the statistics you like to copy and paste from elsewhere. There’s a reason that it’s mostly family and close friends; they have access. By having kids in the house when you invite strangers over, you're potentially giving strangers access to your kids. Guess what; sexual predators use the internet to gain access to people who have kids. Sexual offenders sign up for Fab. Meanwhile, many people opt for child minders with PVG clearance. Meanwhile, if we disregard that aspect, lots of people don’t want the risk of children seeing or hearing anything untoward. And your answer is to put locks on doors? Amazing. Not at all weird. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Don't do it then, nobody is trying to force you to do it. They know that. Don’t give people a hard time over their views and then act surprised that they’re going to justify that view. Also, demanding that someone express a risk as a percentage is ludicrous goading. Someone doesn’t have to know the percentage increase to know that there is an increased risk. For example, your statistic about who is most likely to perpetrate sexual abuse against children demonstrates your usual inability to fully understand the statistics you like to copy and paste from elsewhere. There’s a reason that it’s mostly family and close friends; they have access. By having kids in the house when you invite strangers over, you're potentially giving strangers access to your kids. Guess what; sexual predators use the internet to gain access to people who have kids. Sexual offenders sign up for Fab. Meanwhile, many people opt for child minders with PVG clearance. Meanwhile, if we disregard that aspect, lots of people don’t want the risk of children seeing or hearing anything untoward. And your answer is to put locks on doors? Amazing. Not at all weird." It’s actually not uncommon for parents to lock their bedroom door when wanting a bit of privacy . And why should that be seen as weird ? It would be way more weird to be shagging or whatever in full view of the kids wouldn’t it ? Or would you be advocating that parents don’t have sex again after having kids . Or at least wait till te kids have left home ? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"It’s actually not uncommon for parents to lock their bedroom door when wanting a bit of privacy . And why should that be seen as weird ? It would be way more weird to be shagging or whatever in full view of the kids wouldn’t it ? Or would you be advocating that parents don’t have sex again after having kids . Or at least wait till te kids have left home ? " Having a lock on a bedroom door for a bit of privacy for just the two of you is understandable. Of course I’m not advocating that parents can’t have sex, and of course I’m not advocating that kids should see people having sex at all. It’s not a particularly good answer for anyone who has sex elsewhere in the house. It’s not even remotely close to an answer for when you have extra partners around. How are they supposed to react when there’s a knock on the door? It’s utterly selfish to expect people to be okay with that. And, as pointed out by others, kids know when there’s something wrong or out of the ordinary. “My kids always sleep like a log, we never had a problem.” Blind luck. In all the time of growing up, they never, ever, once got out of their bed in the middle of the night? It just takes once. Madness. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I wouldn't have gone through with the meet either. You're not unreasonable. It's the reason we dont accomodate. I would never bring strangers into my children's home for sex whether they were at home or not." Totally agree! Nobody ever.comes.to our home. It's.our private space. It's hotel only for us | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"It’s actually not uncommon for parents to lock their bedroom door when wanting a bit of privacy . And why should that be seen as weird ? It would be way more weird to be shagging or whatever in full view of the kids wouldn’t it ? Or would you be advocating that parents don’t have sex again after having kids . Or at least wait till te kids have left home ? Having a lock on a bedroom door for a bit of privacy for just the two of you is understandable. Of course I’m not advocating that parents can’t have sex, and of course I’m not advocating that kids should see people having sex at all. It’s not a particularly good answer for anyone who has sex elsewhere in the house. It’s not even remotely close to an answer for when you have extra partners around. How are they supposed to react when there’s a knock on the door? It’s utterly selfish to expect people to be okay with that. And, as pointed out by others, kids know when there’s something wrong or out of the ordinary. “My kids always sleep like a log, we never had a problem.” Blind luck. In all the time of growing up, they never, ever, once got out of their bed in the middle of the night? It just takes once. Madness." You’re right , it’s not ideal to lock the bedroom door if you’re having sex somewhere other than in the bedroom . But most right minded people would not be shagging where’s they may be disturbed by their children . Some may put a lock in the living room door which they use after the kids have gone to bed . Seems reasonable to me , and if the parents have company and it gets a bit fruity , put the lock across . If kids think the parents are locking doors because they want a private session , what’s wrong with that ? It’s such an emotive subject for so many people , but doesn’t need to be such a taboo . Locks on doors can eliminate so many potential issues . Not just for swinging , but for parents who still have sex with each other . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" I wouldn’t lock anyone in a room. For many reasons but mostly I’d feel a cunt if a fire broke out and I prevented their escape. I guess I’m just a basic kind of bore " I’m not talking about locking anyone in a room ! I’m merely saying parents can lock their own bedroom door , or the living room door if they want some sexy time . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" By having kids in the house when you invite strangers over, you're potentially giving strangers access to your kids." Nope and that's the kind of idiotic thinking that makes this subject impossible to discuss. There's nothing like the subject of children to bring out the stupid in people. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Gloswingers, do your locks include noise cancellation technology? Do they make your guests disappear, so you can quickly see to your distressed child without telling them to go away while you open the door? Does it prevent your guests’ mortification when any of this happens?" If you care to read our first post , we don’t accommodate ! The locks ( which ironically we don’t have ) wouldn’t be a perfectly acceptable and adequate way to ensure the children don’t walk in on parents having sexy time with each other . Or single parents engaging in sexy time with their partners . Or even swingers swinging after the kids have gone to bed . If swingers tell guests of their arrangements the guests won’t be mortified , and they have the choice as to whether to go or not . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"So confused right now. Is it wrong to be turned on by articulate posts re parenting skillsets I agree with? *faps, but feels so discombobulated*" You’re referring to my post I assume | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x " 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window!" So to get this straight, we cease being humans upon the arrival of a small person? We stop being a woman or a man? We stop being a wife or a husband? All forms of adult interaction is to cease while we serve the child? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x " of course they do.. mum's or dad's.. Get a babysitter and don't accom, or ask a grandparent to have child/children over? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window! So to get this straight, we cease being humans upon the arrival of a small person? We stop being a woman or a man? We stop being a wife or a husband? All forms of adult interaction is to cease while we serve the child? " I'm not sure I said any of that. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window! So to get this straight, we cease being humans upon the arrival of a small person? We stop being a woman or a man? We stop being a wife or a husband? All forms of adult interaction is to cease while we serve the child? I'm not sure I said any of that." no but that's what it implies from how I read it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window! So to get this straight, we cease being humans upon the arrival of a small person? We stop being a woman or a man? We stop being a wife or a husband? All forms of adult interaction is to cease while we serve the child? I'm not sure I said any of that. no but that's what it implies from how I read it. " That's fine if that's how you choose to read it, I've no control over that. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Last night we arranged a meet at the home off a guy on here. He asked us to read his profile and I did. Great verifications and yes his profile stated he was a single dad. How ever it did state that there was only certain times he could meet. I just assumed it was when children weren't there. On our way my hubby says just double check he is on his own and children aren't there. The guy messaged immediately to they were in bed and flat out. So I politely told the guy it was a deal breaker for us. He has since got the hump and blocked us. Personally I think its wrong to do this with kids in the house. I do feel for him as he has kids but why would you risk your kids walking in ?" Totally agree, I’m single dad and when daughter was growing up, never ever played while she was in house, even as a grown up child now can’t take the chance, I’ve lost out on a few meets. But hey ho. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I've been in a similar situation. Arranged to meet with a couple, turned up at theirs at the arranged time, and you could clearly hear kids playing upstairs. I politely told them I thought it was inappropriate and left. I got blocked by them too." that's terrible.. What are people thinking!!!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" By having kids in the house when you invite strangers over, you're potentially giving strangers access to your kids. Nope and that's the kind of idiotic thinking that makes this subject impossible to discuss. There's nothing like the subject of children to bring out the stupid in people. " I don’t have kids, and their involvement in a discussion does not sway my emotions, so you’re barking up the wrong tree. But, rather than discussing that, would you like to point out a single thing that is wrong in my sentence above? It’s a matter of fact. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I've been in a similar situation. Arranged to meet with a couple, turned up at theirs at the arranged time, and you could clearly hear kids playing upstairs. I politely told them I thought it was inappropriate and left. I got blocked by them too.that's terrible.. What are people thinking!!!! " What made it worse was the fact that the kids had a friend round too, and had been told to by come downstairs under any circumstance, I shot off rather quickly never to return! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I've been in a similar situation. Arranged to meet with a couple, turned up at theirs at the arranged time, and you could clearly hear kids playing upstairs. I politely told them I thought it was inappropriate and left. I got blocked by them too.that's terrible.. What are people thinking!!!! What made it worse was the fact that the kids had a friend round too, and had been told to by come downstairs under any circumstance, I shot off rather quickly never to return! " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"People are commenting about patents locking their bedroom door for sexy time, but what about noise levels? I wouldn't be able to have sex how I enjoy I with my kids in the house, they would wonder what on earth was going on. I wouldn't want them hearing things that are said or the noises. " See now this is an odd one . Are you seriously telling us that you have never had sex with your kids in the house ? That wouldn’t sit right with us at all , I mean really ? That’s a minimum of 18 years without sex in your own home unless you ship the kids off to a sitter . And even then it’s so contrived that there’s every chance it may not happen then either ! Theirs is what baffles me . Same as the other poster saying any entitlement as an adult goes when you have kids . If boundaries are set , and parents wish to continue with a sex life after the kids are born , there are plenty of ways to allow it to happen . Yes they may hear noises , so what ? It’s natural and I can’t see why anyone would stop having sex because they’ve got kids . Even mainstream sites and parenting sites recommend parents locking their door to have sexy time together ! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"People are commenting about patents locking their bedroom door for sexy time, but what about noise levels? I wouldn't be able to have sex how I enjoy I with my kids in the house, they would wonder what on earth was going on. I wouldn't want them hearing things that are said or the noises. See now this is an odd one . Are you seriously telling us that you have never had sex with your kids in the house ? That wouldn’t sit right with us at all , I mean really ? That’s a minimum of 18 years without sex in your own home unless you ship the kids off to a sitter . And even then it’s so contrived that there’s every chance it may not happen then either ! Theirs is what baffles me . Same as the other poster saying any entitlement as an adult goes when you have kids . If boundaries are set , and parents wish to continue with a sex life after the kids are born , there are plenty of ways to allow it to happen . Yes they may hear noises , so what ? It’s natural and I can’t see why anyone would stop having sex because they’ve got kids . Even mainstream sites and parenting sites recommend parents locking their door to have sexy time together ! " These threads have a life of there own at times. It does make me wonder what type of people use these forums considering what type of site this is. I doubt there is a single person on this site with kids that hasn't had sex with their partner whilst the kids are in the house. Sometimes you can't help yourself the sexual tension is too much. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"People are commenting about patents locking their bedroom door for sexy time, but what about noise levels? I wouldn't be able to have sex how I enjoy I with my kids in the house, they would wonder what on earth was going on. I wouldn't want them hearing things that are said or the noises. See now this is an odd one . Are you seriously telling us that you have never had sex with your kids in the house ? That wouldn’t sit right with us at all , I mean really ? That’s a minimum of 18 years without sex in your own home unless you ship the kids off to a sitter . And even then it’s so contrived that there’s every chance it may not happen then either ! Theirs is what baffles me . Same as the other poster saying any entitlement as an adult goes when you have kids . If boundaries are set , and parents wish to continue with a sex life after the kids are born , there are plenty of ways to allow it to happen . Yes they may hear noises , so what ? It’s natural and I can’t see why anyone would stop having sex because they’ve got kids . Even mainstream sites and parenting sites recommend parents locking their door to have sexy time together ! These threads have a life of there own at times. It does make me wonder what type of people use these forums considering what type of site this is. I doubt there is a single person on this site with kids that hasn't had sex with their partner whilst the kids are in the house. Sometimes you can't help yourself the sexual tension is too much. " You're absolutely right, but the discussion appears to have morphed from one about inviting strangers home for sex when the kids in bed, into one about parents having sex when the kids are there ..as shocking as it may be for little Annabelle discovering her parents en flagrante, finding Mummy impaled upon Twelveinchdong might consign the poor child to a life of therapy! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window!" Entitlement to have what ? Are you really saying that a couple shouldn’t feel entitled to have sexy time after they’ve had children | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them That won't stop a child from wanting to come in or put them back in bed though. True and that's why it's a judgement call. Some kids sleep like rocks and some don't. I think that i think the parents are better qualified to make, than a bunch of interweb strangers who probably have far worse parenting habits they wouldn't admit to. Why would you think they have far worse parenting habits? What's worse than letting strangers into your house with your children there? How about you express that risk in some real terms because i have a real hard time imagining it. Just complete this setence for me: "By letting swingers in your house then you are increasing the risk of *insert risk* by *insert %* compared to *insert recommended course of action*" You are not increasing any risk. You are introducing one that isn't there in the first place. So, you don't invite strangers into your house with your children there and there is no risk of anything happening involving the strangers at all. You may want to take the risk, others don't, but there's still a risk that they are fruit cakes or worse. Simply untrue. There is a risk when you leave them with a baby sitter. There is a risk when you leave them at school. There is a risk someone breaks into your house. We don't live in a risk free world. So again, how much are you increasing the risk? You can assume it's a couple with a husband who isn't easily over powered. A babysitter and teachers are not strangers. What if the couple sedate the parents? Or they husband is easily overpowered? What if the couple bring a weapon? What if the toilet is upstairs by the child's room and they stranger goes into their room? Exactly, what if. That's why we have this magic thing called probability that expresses the risk of all those what if statements. So again, what is the increased risk to the child compared to the baseline risk in their normal life? " This isn't a discussion about probability and statistics. It's about ethics and emotion. But taking your point, would you point a gun at your child knowing there was only a one in six or more chance a live bullet would be fired? Of course not. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window! Entitlement to have what ? Are you really saying that a couple shouldn’t feel entitled to have sexy time after they’ve had children " All very achievable without any locks, apart from when I’m handcuffed | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window! Entitlement to have what ? Are you really saying that a couple shouldn’t feel entitled to have sexy time after they’ve had children All very achievable without any locks, apart from when I’m handcuffed " It’s absolutely fine for you to be against parents having a lock on their own bedroom door to use as and when they see fit . Plenty do and plenty don’t . But it does minimise the risk of the kids seeing things they are better off not seeing . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window! Entitlement to have what ? Are you really saying that a couple shouldn’t feel entitled to have sexy time after they’ve had children " Not at all-however you'll see the post I was responding to suggested inviting a stranger into your home whilst your children were there should be 'understood' because 'everyone deserves their own time'. Personally I don't believe that scenario should exist simply because someone believes they 'deserve' it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Initial reaction is not right with children in however if you are a single parent with no help at all surely the situation can be understood? Everyone deserves their own time x 'Deserve'? I'm afraid as soon as you become a parent any sense of entitlement goes out the window! Entitlement to have what ? Are you really saying that a couple shouldn’t feel entitled to have sexy time after they’ve had children Not at all-however you'll see the post I was responding to suggested inviting a stranger into your home whilst your children were there should be 'understood' because 'everyone deserves their own time'. Personally I don't believe that scenario should exist simply because someone believes they 'deserve' it." But the original that you quoted was saying it could be a single parent . Now I’m not being judgemental here , but lots of single parents struggle to make ends meet , and it’s a tough one at the best of times . So if a single parent wanted to establish a relationship ( or just to have a bit of fun with ) , wouldn’t they be ‘entitled ‘ to have someone round to have some adult time with ? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Whilst I can understand the dilemma of not having babysitters to hand and yet still wanting to play - the sheer possibility of a child coming down to see Mummy or Daddy having sex with a stranger, and doing so from the perspective of a child who couldn't possibly understand the swinging lifestyle, would be more than enough to stop me from allowing it to happen, or put myself in a situation with other people's children where it could happen. And before anyone says "that would never happen" - it could!! All it would take would be for the adults to be fully engrossed and not hear a child walk down the stairs. Imagine trying to explain that to a child, or worse still seeing it and then telling their friends at school that they "saw Mummy and Daddy naked with another man and woman" and it just doesn't bear thinking about. Different situation but I saw something similar at a very young age and still have the image in my head even now all these years later and certainly wouldn't want my kids to see something similar. Someone should really invent a device that can go on doors that can stop people opening them " they could call it a 'lock' | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I think there is a little more to it than simply saying no never. For a one off then I'd be inclined to agree that meeting with kids at home is probably not something I'd be tempted to do. However, single parents at some point have to introduce bfs and gfs. So there is little difference between that and having a trusted fwb come around. I can understand it though if you are parenting alone then annual leave will be kept for school term breaks and so when your kids do go to shool it will be time to work. That does not leave many opertunities. If you are working part time baby sitters maybe beyond your financial reach. We have platonic friends round for beers and board games etc. To me it's the trust issue, but it's always a risk and statistics suggest that its more likely that any offender would be known to the family rather than a stranger turning up for a one off shag. Especially if the knowledge of children being at home was only known after the desire to meet was established. For us it would not be something we would do, but can understand it may be the only option for some lone parents. " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Child wakes up in the night disorientated and scared. Goes looking for parent(s). Finds door locked and strange noises from behind it. Poor kid. " Poor kid can be taught to knock on the door then. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Child wakes up in the night disorientated and scared. Goes looking for parent(s). Finds door locked and strange noises from behind it. Poor kid. Poor kid can be taught to knock on the door then. " Haha brilliant response! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Child wakes up in the night disorientated and scared. Goes looking for parent(s). Finds door locked and strange noises from behind it. Poor kid. Poor kid can be taught to knock on the door then. " And they open the door to put him back to bed with cock scum on their breath. Kid's getting a lovely kiss goodnight. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"But it does minimise the risk of the kids seeing things they are better off not seeing ." "Yes they may hear noises , so what ? It’s natural" So, let’s get this straight, Gloswingers; you agree that kids shouldn’t see sex, but you’re fine with them hearing it? With the ‘justification’ that it’s natural? So, when they ask about the strange noises mummy was making, do you tell the truth, because it’s natural? So it’s okay for them to hear it and know what it is, but not see it? Or tell them it’s something else? And, if you tell them it’s something else, why is that? To shield them? To protect them from the knowledge of what these natural noises are? If you can justify it to yourself, grand. But it doesn’t hold water. And if your kids are hearing you having sex, one day they’re going to work out what was going on, and they’re going to resent you for it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Child wakes up in the night disorientated and scared. Goes looking for parent(s). Finds door locked and strange noises from behind it. Poor kid. Poor kid can be taught to knock on the door then. Haha brilliant response! " Yes. Brilliant. I don’t know about anyone else, but every time I knock on a door my brain erases the last thirty seconds of my life from memory. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Child wakes up in the night disorientated and scared. Goes looking for parent(s). Finds door locked and strange noises from behind it. Poor kid. Poor kid can be taught to knock on the door then. Haha brilliant response! Yes. Brilliant. I don’t know about anyone else, but every time I knock on a door my brain erases the last thirty seconds of my life from memory." Not everyone screams the house down! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Not everyone screams the house down!" I’m not saying they do. Indeed, I would like to think that parents would keep a lid on the noise when they’re having sex while the kids are at home. My issue isn’t with parents having sex, my issue is that some people seem to have a careless disregard for whether or not their kids hear them. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Child wakes up in the night disorientated and scared. Goes looking for parent(s). Finds door locked and strange noises from behind it. Poor kid. Poor kid can be taught to knock on the door then. Haha brilliant response! Yes. Brilliant. I don’t know about anyone else, but every time I knock on a door my brain erases the last thirty seconds of my life from memory. Not everyone screams the house down! " 4 people having sex will make quite a bit of noise. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"But it does minimise the risk of the kids seeing things they are better off not seeing .Yes they may hear noises , so what ? It’s natural So, let’s get this straight, Gloswingers; you agree that kids shouldn’t see sex, but you’re fine with them hearing it? With the ‘justification’ that it’s natural? So, when they ask about the strange noises mummy was making, do you tell the truth, because it’s natural? So it’s okay for them to hear it and know what it is, but not see it? Or tell them it’s something else? And, if you tell them it’s something else, why is that? To shield them? To protect them from the knowledge of what these natural noises are? If you can justify it to yourself, grand. But it doesn’t hold water. And if your kids are hearing you having sex, one day they’re going to work out what was going on, and they’re going to resent you for it." I can only imagine you haven’t got any kids . It would appear that you seem to think that parents don’t have sex when the kids are in the house . What do you think couples do when they have kids ? Sign a pledge to never have sex again until the kids leave home ? No , they find ways to continue enjoying a loving and sexual relationship . I’m not suggesting anyone does it in full view or earshot of vulnerable eyes or ears , but being sensible and locking our bedroom door is a part of what we do to continue having a sex together in our own home . You seem obsessed with kids hearing their parents having sex , which is odd , as it’s never really occurred to me and I’ve had four kids . And that does hold water , as none of them resent me in any way shape or form . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Last night we arranged a meet at the home off a guy on here. He asked us to read his profile and I did. Great verifications and yes his profile stated he was a single dad. How ever it did state that there was only certain times he could meet. I just assumed it was when children weren't there. On our way my hubby says just double check he is on his own and children aren't there. The guy messaged immediately to they were in bed and flat out. So I politely told the guy it was a deal breaker for us. He has since got the hump and blocked us. Personally I think its wrong to do this with kids in the house. I do feel for him as he has kids but why would you risk your kids walking in ?" That’s why we won’t have meets at home. We have four kids. We go to clubs and granny has the kids. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I can only imagine you haven’t got any kids . It would appear that you seem to think that parents don’t have sex when the kids are in the house ." I have pointed out that that is categorically not the case, so waffling on about writing off sex lives is pointless straw-manning. "You seem obsessed with kids hearing their parents having sex , which is odd , as it’s never really occurred to me and I’ve had four kids ." Well, it should have. No, I’m not ‘obsessed’ with it. I’m just pointing out how utterly inconsiderate you are with your own kids. "And that does hold water , as none of them resent me in any way shape or form . " You’re confusing two points. It’s inconsistent to recognise that seeing sex is wrong, but somehow hearing it is a-ok. You can’t justify that. I’m sure your kids don’t tell you that they resent you. I’m not saying that it would be so strong that they would stop seeing or speaking to you. But if you think they don’t care, it explains a lot about your attitude. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"But it does minimise the risk of the kids seeing things they are better off not seeing .Yes they may hear noises , so what ? It’s natural So, let’s get this straight, Gloswingers; you agree that kids shouldn’t see sex, but you’re fine with them hearing it? With the ‘justification’ that it’s natural? So, when they ask about the strange noises mummy was making, do you tell the truth, because it’s natural? So it’s okay for them to hear it and know what it is, but not see it? Or tell them it’s something else? And, if you tell them it’s something else, why is that? To shield them? To protect them from the knowledge of what these natural noises are? If you can justify it to yourself, grand. But it doesn’t hold water. And if your kids are hearing you having sex, one day they’re going to work out what was going on, and they’re going to resent you for it." Why would they resent them? I heard my mum fucking her lodger (admittedly I was older at the time) but I don't resent her for it. Find it an odd choice of words. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Child wakes up in the night disorientated and scared. Goes looking for parent(s). Finds door locked and strange noises from behind it. Poor kid. Poor kid can be taught to knock on the door then. And they open the door to put him back to bed with cock scum on their breath. Kid's getting a lovely kiss goodnight." And as Mr Oatcake said, they won't forget what they heard. But as I've said before, some people just don't care. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Hugs to all the single people talking to couples about putting their children first, must be a lot of widows on fab" Be a use single people have no concept of safe guarding? Ridiculous statement. As one of my first posts shows its not the risk of the people you invite into a home being unsavoury types, it's what your child might see or overhear. I can't imagine walking in on some fat bird in the buff having a piss was particularly nice for the guys kid. If kids being around sex with multiple people is not that bad why don't clubs have crèches (and yes.... That is an obtuse, ridiculous statement so you don't have to point it out) | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"So as we come to the end of the thread. It appears boil down to 2 schools of thought and the rest is just bluster. You're either happy to do it at home, and take the necessary precautions to safeguard your sprockets. Or you aren't happy, and choose indulge away from the home. " And some people acknowledge all the risks that exist in daily life and make a balanced decision, but some people pretend there aren't any. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"People are commenting about patents locking their bedroom door for sexy time, but what about noise levels? I wouldn't be able to have sex how I enjoy I with my kids in the house, they would wonder what on earth was going on. I wouldn't want them hearing things that are said or the noises. See now this is an odd one . Are you seriously telling us that you have never had sex with your kids in the house ? That wouldn’t sit right with us at all , I mean really ? That’s a minimum of 18 years without sex in your own home unless you ship the kids off to a sitter . And even then it’s so contrived that there’s every chance it may not happen then either ! Theirs is what baffles me . Same as the other poster saying any entitlement as an adult goes when you have kids . If boundaries are set , and parents wish to continue with a sex life after the kids are born , there are plenty of ways to allow it to happen . Yes they may hear noises , so what ? It’s natural and I can’t see why anyone would stop having sex because they’ve got kids . Even mainstream sites and parenting sites recommend parents locking their door to have sexy time together ! " Of course I've had sex with my partner with my children in the house but the type of sex is very limited when children are around. I don't think it's right for my children to hear me say " oh yes, fuck my horny pussy so hard" etc etc. That would be very wrong. I also can't relax and get into the zone because of the worry they will walk in. I know others may be comfortable being caught by their children but I'm not. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"People are commenting about patents locking their bedroom door for sexy time, but what about noise levels? I wouldn't be able to have sex how I enjoy I with my kids in the house, they would wonder what on earth was going on. I wouldn't want them hearing things that are said or the noises. See now this is an odd one . Are you seriously telling us that you have never had sex with your kids in the house ? That wouldn’t sit right with us at all , I mean really ? That’s a minimum of 18 years without sex in your own home unless you ship the kids off to a sitter . And even then it’s so contrived that there’s every chance it may not happen then either ! Theirs is what baffles me . Same as the other poster saying any entitlement as an adult goes when you have kids . If boundaries are set , and parents wish to continue with a sex life after the kids are born , there are plenty of ways to allow it to happen . Yes they may hear noises , so what ? It’s natural and I can’t see why anyone would stop having sex because they’ve got kids . Even mainstream sites and parenting sites recommend parents locking their door to have sexy time together ! Of course I've had sex with my partner with my children in the house but the type of sex is very limited when children are around. I don't think it's right for my children to hear me say " oh yes, fuck my horny pussy so hard" etc etc. That would be very wrong. I also can't relax and get into the zone because of the worry they will walk in. I know others may be comfortable being caught by their children but I'm not." And that’s exactly why we locked the door sometimes , because every now and then it’s nice to have the kind of sex where we don’t need to worry about the kids coming in . And , like yourself we limit the noises we make as far as is possible . I did not think anyone in this thread would be comfortable with being caught by their children . It’s an interesting insight hearing other people’s opinions . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"I can only imagine you haven’t got any kids . It would appear that you seem to think that parents don’t have sex when the kids are in the house . I have pointed out that that is categorically not the case, so waffling on about writing off sex lives is pointless straw-manning. You seem obsessed with kids hearing their parents having sex , which is odd , as it’s never really occurred to me and I’ve had four kids . Well, it should have. No, I’m not ‘obsessed’ with it. I’m just pointing out how utterly inconsiderate you are with your own kids. And that does hold water , as none of them resent me in any way shape or form . You’re confusing two points. It’s inconsistent to recognise that seeing sex is wrong, but somehow hearing it is a-ok. You can’t justify that. I’m sure your kids don’t tell you that they resent you. I’m not saying that it would be so strong that they would stop seeing or speaking to you. But if you think they don’t care, it explains a lot about your attitude." Making such sweeping statements about my parenting skills , how my children resent me , and how inconsiderate I am towards my kids is simply presumptuous and rude . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Making such sweeping statements about my parenting skills , how my children resent me , and how inconsiderate I am towards my kids is simply presumptuous and rude ." Some of your posts have given the impression that you have a cavalier disregard for the amount of noise you make and whether or not your children hear. Your most recent posts seem to suggest that’s not the case but, following the thread, it seems that you like to shift your position depending on the points you wish to counter or make yourself. You’ve contradicted your own stance more than once. . "Worrying indeed" Way to miss the point. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Making such sweeping statements about my parenting skills , how my children resent me , and how inconsiderate I am towards my kids is simply presumptuous and rude . Some of your posts have given the impression that you have a cavalier disregard for the amount of noise you make and whether or not your children hear. Your most recent posts seem to suggest that’s not the case but, following the thread, it seems that you like to shift your position depending on the points you wish to counter or make yourself. You’ve contradicted your own stance more than once. " As opposed to yourself who literally just makes shit up to stay consistent | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As opposed to yourself who literally just makes shit up to stay consistent " Rather than just saying that, why don’t you point to what I’ve said that you think is made up shit, and explain why you think it’s made up shit. You know, actually construct an argument with a point, rather than just throwing a wee tantrum. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Making such sweeping statements about my parenting skills , how my children resent me , and how inconsiderate I am towards my kids is simply presumptuous and rude . Some of your posts have given the impression that you have a cavalier disregard for the amount of noise you make and whether or not your children hear. Your most recent posts seem to suggest that’s not the case but, following the thread, it seems that you like to shift your position depending on the points you wish to counter or make yourself. You’ve contradicted your own stance more than once. . Worrying indeed Way to miss the point." I have way better things to do than to check all my posts , but if that’s the best you can come up with to justify your rudeness and judgement then so be it . I certainly don’t recall suggesting that I have a cavalier attitude when it comes to the amount of noise I make when having sex with the kids in the house . What I did say is that it’s natural that kids may hear their parents having sex . I have no idea whether any of my kids heard me or not . It certainly never came up , and we have always been very open about discussing anything . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"As opposed to yourself who literally just makes shit up to stay consistent Rather than just saying that, why don’t you point to what I’ve said that you think is made up shit, and explain why you think it’s made up shit. You know, actually construct an argument with a point, rather than just throwing a wee tantrum." Your poor attempt at discrediting the facts i provided was based on absoutely nothing factual, you plucked those comments out your arse. The stats are accurate. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Making such sweeping statements about my parenting skills , how my children resent me , and how inconsiderate I am towards my kids is simply presumptuous and rude . Some of your posts have given the impression that you have a cavalier disregard for the amount of noise you make and whether or not your children hear. Your most recent posts seem to suggest that’s not the case but, following the thread, it seems that you like to shift your position depending on the points you wish to counter or make yourself. You’ve contradicted your own stance more than once. . Worrying indeed Way to miss the point." Really ? Continue babbling sir whilst disregarding and insulting others at will. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Your poor attempt at discrediting the facts i provided was based on absoutely nothing factual, you plucked those comments out your arse. The stats are accurate. " I did not dispute the accuracy of the statistics. I simply pointed out that you failed to take into consideration why that is the case. If my professional experience of the reality of all of this is what constitutes ‘plucking things out of my arse’ then so be it. I’ll take my professional knowledge over your Wikipedia copy and paste any day of the week. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Your poor attempt at discrediting the facts i provided was based on absoutely nothing factual, you plucked those comments out your arse. The stats are accurate. I did not dispute the accuracy of the statistics. I simply pointed out that you failed to take into consideration why that is the case. If my professional experience of the reality of all of this is what constitutes ‘plucking things out of my arse’ then so be it. I’ll take my professional knowledge over your Wikipedia copy and paste any day of the week." You did that based on absoutely nothing factual. You know nothing about my knowledge or qualifications in the subject, you are just guessing in the thin hope it suites your argument. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Really ? Continue babbling sir whilst disregarding and insulting others at will." Yes, really. You’ve (I assume deliberately) overplayed and exaggerated a situation to make the reasonable premise seem implausible, ignoring the fact that it happens. Is Fab ‘full’ of sex offenders? No. Are there sex offenders with accounts here? Yes. Is everyone who wants to visit you looking to abuse your kids? No. Do sex offenders who want to access kids gain the confidence of their parents first? Yes. Do they do it by drugging or overpowering the parents? No. But do they do it? Absolutely. But, obviously, as you argue reducto ad absurdum and I make reasoned points, I’m the one who is babbling. I haven’t disregarded anyone. I have countered arguments. It’s what happens in a discussion. You should try it some time. As for insults? No. I have pointed out concerning attitudes and their likely results. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"You did that based on absoutely nothing factual. You know nothing about my knowledge or qualifications in the subject, you are just guessing in the thin hope it suites your argument. " From your comments, and reliance on a fact, the substance and nuance of which you have demonstrated you do not understand, give me a reasonable indication of your knowledge and qualifications (or, rather, lack thereof) on the subject. I know that you like statistics, but statistics don’t tell you the full story. Would you like to talk about the sex offenders who target single mums for the sole purpose of gaining access to their kids? Better still, would you like to talk TO them? Would you like to hear them talk about how they use the internet to do it? Or has the daily toil of Children & Families Social Work and Police Family Protection Units been pulled out of my arse? Yes, the chances of one of the swingers you’ve invited around to your house actually being a sexual predator is very slim. But the fact that it is a chance at all means that the act of doing it has just increased that risk. The background noise of the general ongoing risk does not change the fact that adding a risk increases the overall risk. There’s always a risk that something could fall on my head. The risk of something falling on my head at the very moment I walk under a ladder is slim. But if I walk under ladders, the overall risk of something falling on my head increases. And if I go on a building site, it increases again. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |