FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Help he's so bad in bed (hypothetical)
Help he's so bad in bed (hypothetical)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So you meet a guy. He is really handsome. Ye get along great. He is funny and charming. Sexually chemistry seems to be there. Ye decided to take things further. When things get to the bedroom he is really bad sexually. What do you do?
Do you try again?
Do you walk away?
Do you meet him again and try show him what he's doing wrong ? |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
Be more vocal and tell him what you like eg "it gets me so hot when you do this" try not to make it like a order or deflat his ego remember he probably thinks he a god in the bedroom
And second thing is show and don't tell, he maybe a little shy so sticking to the basic as not to make himself out be a sexual deviant and may need a little time to open up about what he wants |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"So you meet a guy. He is really handsome. Ye get along great. He is funny and charming. Sexually chemistry seems to be there. Ye decided to take things further. When things get to the bedroom he is really bad sexually. What do you do?
Do you try again?
Do you walk away?
Do you meet him again and try show him what he's doing wrong ?"
Depends if he is interested in sex and if you like him that much. If he has an interest then see him again, if he would rather watch TV than take your top off, find someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be more vocal and tell him what you like eg "it gets me so hot when you do this" try not to make it like a order or deflat his ego remember he probably thinks he a god in the bedroom
And second thing is show and don't tell, he maybe a little shy so sticking to the basic as not to make himself out be a sexual deviant and may need a little time to open up about what he wants "
Yup  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
He may not be " doing wrong " he could be just doing something that doesn't suit you/ you don't like. His last meet may have liked it.
If you tell him what you do like or point him in the right direction while you are having sex then it could be better. |
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Being of more advanced years I’m lucky enough to have just met a very fit and sexy woman of similar age. While I’ve always rated myself she is really pushing me and making me ‘up my game’. Fuck me! It’s real fun though but the words “fuck me harder” now send a shiver down my spine. It’s the knees that let me down so having great fun with different positions.
That old saying ‘can’t teach an old dog new tricks’ , bollocks! Made me realise that I had become complacent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've actually experienced this. I walked away. There is a back story though, which he told me when we were getting down to business. So I knew that it wouldn't get any better  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened to me too. Lovely guy, just my type. Disastrous first meet. But I was kind.
Kept in contact, gave him another chance and nope, did not fulfil me, was left feeling quite hurt tbh. Oh well, life's a lesson and all that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had this with my ex partner of 13 years.
I put up with it for 6 years. Then it was like a switch went on and I woke up. I was so miserable.
So I dealt with by cheating on him. Which is a shitty way to deal.
I eventually left him.
I tried everything I could think of to get him to change. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had this with my ex partner of 13 years.
I put up with it for 6 years. Then it was like a switch went on and I woke up. I was so miserable.
So I dealt with by cheating on him. Which is a shitty way to deal.
I eventually left him.
I tried everything I could think of to get him to change. "
Sometimes they don't want to change. |
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The thing with being on a swingers site is this .
There is no need to put up with crap sex !
Surely the reason we are here is to enjoy great sex with a variety of other people . Yes , I know there are plenty of singles looking for more . And that’s cool , but why put up with crap sex when there are so many others out there who will no doubt offer much better sex ?
It’s a no brainier ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it would depend partly on how much I liked the guy, and also why the sex was bad.
If he was just inexperienced or nervous but eager to learn then I would consider giving it another shot.
If he was selfish, didn't listen, had messed up ideas about sex (like the 'women should come just from being fucked by my dick' crowd) or our sexual interests just don't match up... I will probably pass on round 2. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met someone like that. First meet was really awkward but he thought it was great. I thought oh crap if he thinks that was good it doesn't bode well! 
I met him again and it was brilliant.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The thing with being on a swingers site is this .
There is no need to put up with crap sex !
Surely the reason we are here is to enjoy great sex with a variety of other people . Yes , I know there are plenty of singles looking for more . And that’s cool , but why put up with crap sex when there are so many others out there who will no doubt offer much better sex ?
It’s a no brainier !"
I totally get What you are saying. I just meant if someone ticked all if what your looking for but then lacked in the bedroom. Would you be willing to give it another go? |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"The thing with being on a swingers site is this .
There is no need to put up with crap sex !
Surely the reason we are here is to enjoy great sex with a variety of other people . Yes , I know there are plenty of singles looking for more . And that’s cool , but why put up with crap sex when there are so many others out there who will no doubt offer much better sex ?
It’s a no brainier !
I totally get What you are saying. I just meant if someone ticked all if what your looking for but then lacked in the bedroom. Would you be willing to give it another go? "
I would. It's very difficult finding people you are attracted to so I think it would be worth persevering in the bedroom. It might be that he's shy or something  |
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"The thing with being on a swingers site is this .
There is no need to put up with crap sex !
Surely the reason we are here is to enjoy great sex with a variety of other people . Yes , I know there are plenty of singles looking for more . And that’s cool , but why put up with crap sex when there are so many others out there who will no doubt offer much better sex ?
It’s a no brainier !
I totally get What you are saying. I just meant if someone ticked all if what your looking for but then lacked in the bedroom. Would you be willing to give it another go? "
Personally speaking , no . But that may be because we have great sex with each other , and have neither the time nor inclination to accept anything less than a fun and fulfilling time with people we meet on here .
If we were singles , maybe we would , but then having said that , we both think the basis of a great relationship starts with great sex . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I give it my best shot at kivening things up. If that doesn't work then I weigh up having the pleasure of his company against the sex. If I like his company I carry on seeing him and get the great sex elsewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you think he was nervous? Has he had many meets before? If you like him is all other aspects I would meet again and offer guidance lol if it’s still crap then at least you tried  |
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Difficult. One would assume that meeting on here, one would discuss likes/dislikes etc so there is no nilla-first-fuck-awkwardness. For me, it takes a while to get into it with a new person, so I do allow leeway, but it depends how bad 'bad' is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I once met a guy who was rubbish in bed. I put it down to 1st time nerves and alcohol. Second time we met it was even worse. No alcohol involved. I often wondered should I have have it another try. He was so funny and it felt like we had such a connection. We talked everyday and always flirted. Just the way the looked at me turned me on. To this day the way he looks at me still turns me on. I often wondered if I should try again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you meet a guy. He is really handsome. Ye get along great. He is funny and charming. Sexually chemistry seems to be there. Ye decided to take things further. When things get to the bedroom he is really bad sexually. What do you do?
Do you try again?
Do you walk away?
Do you meet him again and try show him what he's doing wrong ?"
walk away and I’ll get a Ryanair flight  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So you meet a guy. He is really handsome. Ye get along great. He is funny and charming. Sexually chemistry seems to be there. Ye decided to take things further. When things get to the bedroom he is really bad sexually. What do you do?
Do you try again?
Do you walk away?
Do you meet him again and try show him what he's doing wrong ? walk away and I’ll get a Ryanair flight "
Deal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you meet a guy. He is really handsome. Ye get along great. He is funny and charming. Sexually chemistry seems to be there. Ye decided to take things further. When things get to the bedroom he is really bad sexually. What do you do?
Do you try again?
Do you walk away?
Do you meet him again and try show him what he's doing wrong ? walk away and I’ll get a Ryanair flight
Deal "
I’ll box in your box in a wee while |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Communication is the key.
It depends on how much you want to meet again and if by talking sharing and exploring together you both find what works for the two of you together...
The other option you already know. |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
"So you meet a guy. He is really handsome. Ye get along great. He is funny and charming. Sexually chemistry seems to be there. Ye decided to take things further. When things get to the bedroom he is really bad sexually. What do you do?
Do you try again?
Do you walk away?
Do you meet him again and try show him what he's doing wrong ?"
It's like a needle in the haystack - the guy who is great in bed AND great at everything else.
Go with your gut instinct.
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"So you meet a guy. He is really handsome. Ye get along great. He is funny and charming. Sexually chemistry seems to be there. Ye decided to take things further. When things get to the bedroom he is really bad sexually. What do you do?
Do you try again?
Do you walk away?
Do you meet him again and try show him what he's doing wrong ?"
Its your first time together, he might be trying to work out what you like and what works. Meet again and be more vocal,tell him what you want, if it doesn't improve walk away. |
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By *izzaMan
over a year ago
Aylesbury |
"For me it would depend partly on how much I liked the guy, and also why the sex was bad.
If he was just inexperienced or nervous but eager to learn then I would consider giving it another shot.
If he was selfish, didn't listen, had messed up ideas about sex (like the 'women should come just from being fucked by my dick' crowd) or our sexual interests just don't match up... I will probably pass on round 2."
Totally agree! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd walk away.
I experienced this some time ago. Leading up to sex, he was funny, charming and we were totally compatible. After finding out the sex was rubbish, every little thing he did the next morning annoyed the hell out of me.
No thanks. |
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"He may not be " doing wrong " he could be just doing something that doesn't suit you/ you don't like. His last meet may have liked it.
If you tell him what you do like or point him in the right direction while you are having sex then it could be better. "
THIS!
I met someone off fab. First meet didn’t suit me. 2nd meet very different story. The 3rd meet I think will be fabulous |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He may not be " doing wrong " he could be just doing something that doesn't suit you/ you don't like. His last meet may have liked it.
If you tell him what you do like or point him in the right direction while you are having sex then it could be better.
THIS!
I met someone off fab. First meet didn’t suit me. 2nd meet very different story. The 3rd meet I think will be fabulous "
Might try a third time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you meet a guy. He is really handsome. Ye get along great. He is funny and charming. Sexually chemistry seems to be there. Ye decided to take things further. When things get to the bedroom he is really bad sexually. What do you do?
Do you try again?
Do you walk away?
Do you meet him again and try show him what he's doing wrong ?"
Perhaps rather than him being bad in bed, it’s you? Or more likely you both don’t connect in bed straight away. No ones fault. Can’t be everyone cup of tea lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He may not be " doing wrong " he could be just doing something that doesn't suit you/ you don't like. His last meet may have liked it.
If you tell him what you do like or point him in the right direction while you are having sex then it could be better.
THIS!
I met someone off fab. First meet didn’t suit me. 2nd meet very different story. The 3rd meet I think will be fabulous
Might try a third time "
I won't let you down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Come on tell us why he was so bad. We are dying to know. Was he too gentle when what you wanted was some good hard dirty sex. Perhaps he just wanted to make lurveeeeeee. |
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Not coming up to the expectations of a lady is something us guys all secretly dread! The more we like you, the worse our fear of letting you down! And the problem for me is, the level of pleasure I get is directly correlated to the amount she gets. If she’s bored, I am! If she’s acting, so am I. If she’s really getting off on it, I’m a happy chappy and know I’m doing the right thing! Everyone has off days and occassionally, that off day is your one opportunity to really impress a lady who’s sexy beyond your wildest dreams. If you can make sure your off day is still better than most people’s on day, you’re still in with a chance. If not, retreat and admit defeat. If you’re ever invited back you’re just a jammy bastard! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Taking awkward fumbly sex. Fourplay was disastrous. Wasn't quite are he was even licking. I tried directing him a little but he just stayed going. I started to suck his cock and he came almost instantly. So sex never happened the 1st time. He blamed the drink. So next the we met was pretty much the same except we actually got to have sex . He just kept slapping it in and not. Bring else. I tried getting on to but he just lay there. I tried guiding his hands to my tits but he would just drop then back to his chest. |
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"Taking awkward fumbly sex. Fourplay was disastrous. Wasn't quite are he was even licking. I tried directing him a little but he just stayed going. I started to suck his cock and he came almost instantly. So sex never happened the 1st time. He blamed the drink. So next the we met was pretty much the same except we actually got to have sex . He just kept slapping it in and not. Bring else. I tried getting on to but he just lay there. I tried guiding his hands to my tits but he would just drop then back to his chest."
Oh poor you! And it doesn’t sound like drink was that responsible! What a crazy fellow! If you lick, you really lick - damn, I do anyway! And why on earth wouldn’t he want to play with your gorgeous tits! Any sensible guy wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off! And damn it, if you sucked him so well he came immediately, well done you, but one normally makes sure one’s got plenty of reserves should that happen so one can carry on performing and provide plenty more later on!
Keep that one for flirting only if you must and choose someone who really wants to pleasure you to actually fuck you properly!
By the way, I’m the guy at the front of the queue! x |
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If you like him then teach him what you like and how you like it.
If he likes you he’ll learn your body. I knew a girl who was terrible at blow jobs. I taught her what I like now she’s the best I’ve ever had. She told me how she likes it now I can make her orgasm and squirt everytime. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Taking awkward fumbly sex. Fourplay was disastrous. Wasn't quite are he was even licking. I tried directing him a little but he just stayed going. I started to suck his cock and he came almost instantly. So sex never happened the 1st time. He blamed the drink. So next the we met was pretty much the same except we actually got to have sex . He just kept slapping it in and not. Bring else. I tried getting on to but he just lay there. I tried guiding his hands to my tits but he would just drop then back to his chest."
From his technique it sounds like the only sex he's had before is with a blow-up doll
She never minded so he didn't think a real woman would either!
Disclaimer: I've only had sex with a blow-up doll once |
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Had similar situation a while ago. Cracking social, great kissing (usually a great indication) but in the bedroom, flat.
Met again, politely coerced towards the good stuff, didn't listen, shan't be repeating. Next |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Taking awkward fumbly sex. Fourplay was disastrous. Wasn't quite are he was even licking. I tried directing him a little but he just stayed going. I started to suck his cock and he came almost instantly. So sex never happened the 1st time. He blamed the drink. So next the we met was pretty much the same except we actually got to have sex . He just kept slapping it in and not. Bring else. I tried getting on to but he just lay there. I tried guiding his hands to my tits but he would just drop then back to his chest.
Oh poor you! And it doesn’t sound like drink was that responsible! What a crazy fellow! If you lick, you really lick - damn, I do anyway! And why on earth wouldn’t he want to play with your gorgeous tits! Any sensible guy wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off! And damn it, if you sucked him so well he came immediately, well done you, but one normally makes sure one’s got plenty of reserves should that happen so one can carry on performing and provide plenty more later on!
Keep that one for flirting only if you must and choose someone who really wants to pleasure you to actually fuck you properly!
By the way, I’m the guy at the front of the queue! x "
Good to know. Be in my bed at 10 |
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"Taking awkward fumbly sex. Fourplay was disastrous. Wasn't quite are he was even licking. I tried directing him a little but he just stayed going. I started to suck his cock and he came almost instantly. So sex never happened the 1st time. He blamed the drink. So next the we met was pretty much the same except we actually got to have sex . He just kept slapping it in and not. Bring else. I tried getting on to but he just lay there. I tried guiding his hands to my tits but he would just drop then back to his chest.
Oh poor you! And it doesn’t sound like drink was that responsible! What a crazy fellow! If you lick, you really lick - damn, I do anyway! And why on earth wouldn’t he want to play with your gorgeous tits! Any sensible guy wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off! And damn it, if you sucked him so well he came immediately, well done you, but one normally makes sure one’s got plenty of reserves should that happen so one can carry on performing and provide plenty more later on!
Keep that one for flirting only if you must and choose someone who really wants to pleasure you to actually fuck you properly!
By the way, I’m the guy at the front of the queue! x
Good to know. Be in my bed at 10 "
Taking me a while to swim the Irish Sea! Be with you asap though! |
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"So you meet a guy. He is really handsome. Ye get along great. He is funny and charming. Sexually chemistry seems to be there. Ye decided to take things further. When things get to the bedroom he is really bad sexually. What do you do?
Do you try again?
Do you walk away?
Do you meet him again and try show him what he's doing wrong ?"
We had a thread recently where posters suggested (wrongly) that all people are sexually equal, and any disappointment is down to you 'not bringing the best out of your sexual partner'.
One poster said "If you do it right they will all fuck like dynamos."
He was of course wrong and clearly inexperienced.
You might not get many serious answers as people try and big themselves up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Taking awkward fumbly sex. Fourplay was disastrous. Wasn't quite are he was even licking. I tried directing him a little but he just stayed going. I started to suck his cock and he came almost instantly. So sex never happened the 1st time. He blamed the drink. So next the we met was pretty much the same except we actually got to have sex . He just kept slapping it in and not. Bring else. I tried getting on to but he just lay there. I tried guiding his hands to my tits but he would just drop then back to his chest.
Oh poor you! And it doesn’t sound like drink was that responsible! What a crazy fellow! If you lick, you really lick - damn, I do anyway! And why on earth wouldn’t he want to play with your gorgeous tits! Any sensible guy wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off! And damn it, if you sucked him so well he came immediately, well done you, but one normally makes sure one’s got plenty of reserves should that happen so one can carry on performing and provide plenty more later on!
Keep that one for flirting only if you must and choose someone who really wants to pleasure you to actually fuck you properly!
By the way, I’m the guy at the front of the queue! x
Good to know. Be in my bed at 10
Taking me a while to swim the Irish Sea! Be with you asap though! "
I waited all night  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you liked him give him a chance, not everyone is sexually confident. I would hate to be with someone and they didn't want to see me again and that was the only reason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For what its worth, the best sex I've had has taken time to get to. 'Good sex' is completely subjective, and if your just looking for a fb, probably not worth the effort to learn if your starting from very different points.
But, if there's more to it and you like the guy beyond just sex, maybe it's worth the effort to get there? Communication is the trick, at any rate, just up to you whether you think it's worth the effort. |
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By *riggler90Couple
over a year ago
Essex and Dublin |
"I don't think bad ever ends up good, so I'd back away I think....  "
Sorry- this is unrelated to the original post however...
Frisky mare your pink tights/stockings caught my eye so I had a look at your photos, I think you've got an absolutely amazing figure! Genuinely, you're gorgeous! Be proud x |
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"Women are always telling me I am crap in bed, but how can they possibly tell in 3 minutes? There's no satisfying some people... I find."
Three minutes?
How about sharing some tips for those of us who can only dream of lasting that long. |
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