FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Oral - to not do is that selfish?
Oral - to not do is that selfish?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whether male or female, if one party loves it and the other never bothers to do it, is this considered selfish?
Discuss "
My ex wife did this, never went anywhere near me. To be honest it left me very guarded about people’s enthusiasm for oral sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No - it's personnal preference.
If some particular activity is important to you, then discuss it first and give both parties the decision to continue or not...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No - it's personnal preference.
If some particular activity is important to you, then discuss it first and give both parties the decision to continue or not...
"
. And some just want to give ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering "
Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering
Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course"
I kinda have and he said that he wasn’t adverse and that it just hadn’t happened.. but now a month later it still hasn’t lol |
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I love receiving , but I never give .
I’m not sure why , I just never have .
It doesn’t matter though because my wife isn’t bothered at all . She loves to give in every way and isn’t fussed about receiving . |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
"If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to give
Totally agree. Nobody likes selfish x"
This
I won't meet people who aren't into mutual satisfaction. It's top of my list and is non negotiable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it's selfish. People must always do what the tick boxes say on their profiles and also the same sex acts that others do to them. Otherwise they aren't Genuine Swingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people may be selfish and want more than they can be bothered to give. Some won't give because they reserve it for relationships; but are happy to receive.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No - it's personnal preference.
If some particular activity is important to you, then discuss it first and give both parties the decision to continue or not...
. And some just want to give ..." |
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"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering
Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course
I kinda have and he said that he wasn’t adverse and that it just hadn’t happened.. but now a month later it still hasn’t lol "
I would definitely ask him, directly, as I'm assuming that you are giving him oral...if he isn't into it, then great for him, but stop giving him oral... |
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Nobody has to to anything to anyone they don’t want to and if the other party behaves like a spoilt brat, leave.
Anal, rimming, spanking or any other sexual activity is optional and does not have to be reciprocated. |
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"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering
Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course
I kinda have and he said that he wasn’t adverse and that it just hadn’t happened.. but now a month later it still hasn’t lol
I would definitely ask him, directly, as I'm assuming that you are giving him oral...if he isn't into it, then great for him, but stop giving him oral..."
Why should she stop? She might get huge enjoyment from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering
Ask him why ? In a subtle way of course
I kinda have and he said that he wasn’t adverse and that it just hadn’t happened.. but now a month later it still hasn’t lol
I would definitely ask him, directly, as I'm assuming that you are giving him oral...if he isn't into it, then great for him, but stop giving him oral...
Why should she stop? She might get huge enjoyment from it."
I do, for me it’s all part of the play.. but apparently not for him. I shall just keep nudging him and see what happens. Not sure what else to do. It’s a bit of a bummer as the rest of it is great! |
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All balance and understanding I say.
I'm am absolutely oral obsessive so, I'm sorry but I am going to spend a long time with my head between your legs but... if I know someone's not so keen on it (giving), absolutely no pressure or feeling of selfishness....
Just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate the tit for tat attitude around oral sex in particular. Just because I enjoy sucking someone’s dick doesn’t mean that he should enjoy or be coerced into licking my pussy. We are all different, we enjoy different things, nobody should ever feel like they ‘must’ do something just because something has been done to them.
Quite worrying frankly that some people, mainly women from what I can see, have the attitude that a guy who doesn’t like doing it should be coerced into doing so. If you didn’t like sucking a dick should a guy just put it in your mouth anyway? |
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"Also just had a vile message from someone on this thread and then they blocked me having never spoken to me. What a lovely couple you are.. "
That’s very odd because it certainly wasn’t us , and the only other couple on the thread are mods ..... very strange |
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Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.
I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.
What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.
I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.
What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing."
If that’s the case then find someone who enjoys it... plenty of people do |
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"Also just had a vile message from someone on this thread and then they blocked me having never spoken to me. What a lovely couple you are.. "
If you get abusive messages report them to admin. They'll take appropriate action. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really enjoy giving, but am not bothered about receiving. I've even been known to physically take a mans head from between my thighs. I suppose on some level that would be also deemed as selfish, if that person derived pleasure from the act. It's mainly about communication. If someone is not happy with it or finds it distasteful, surely they shouldn't feel obligated to carry that act out, in order to please someone else? I personally wouldn't want someone to do something to me that they found a turn off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only thing I find selfish is if you expect oral but not willing to reciprocate that is selfish, unless the other partner is happy with it after discussing it then all is fine "
I've found that almost every man from here expects their dick sucked. Very few reciprocate and I don't ask for it, as I don't want a half-hearted 20 second lick. Some do it, but not with the women from here, or only ones that must deserve it.
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"Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.
I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.
What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing.
If that’s the case then find someone who enjoys it... plenty of people do "
I know that's why I said I've moved on when our needs don't match. I just find it a little awkward though like saying yeah sorry mate, I need a scuba diver. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.
I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.
What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing.
If that’s the case then find someone who enjoys it... plenty of people do
I know that's why I said I've moved on when our needs don't match. I just find it a little awkward though like saying yeah sorry mate, I need a scuba diver. Lol "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whether male or female, if one party loves it and the other never bothers to do it, is this considered selfish?
Discuss "
No. It just means your not compatable x |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"The only thing I find selfish is if you expect oral but not willing to reciprocate that is selfish, unless the other partner is happy with it after discussing it then all is fine
I've found that almost every man from here expects their dick sucked. Very few reciprocate and I don't ask for it, as I don't want a half-hearted 20 second lick. Some do it, but not with the women from here, or only ones that must deserve it.
"
That is why I said discussion is important, there's not much you can do if a potential partner lies outright!
Apart from tell him to fuck off of course, which I have done in the past and the look of shock on his face was a picture! |
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"It's all just a matter of taste !!!!!!"
If that's the case then men need to make sure they taste good too. I mean cum can taste all kinda ways (I've generally never been bothered). Or worst if they haven't like cleaned prior the act.
For example some guy asked me once to satisfy him after some sports thing but told me he wasn't showering after. I mean come on, really? I politely declined of course.
My point is I'd never dream of being unclean for someone. I'm OCD about that stuff anyway to the point where I'll turn down sex acts if I don't feel comfortable that I am clean the the standard I want myself to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to give "
Not necessarily. It might be a big turn off and so make sex a chore. Slowly resentment builds and I'd say so would meeting that person.
Surely we do things because we enjoy them and wouldn't do somethings to someone else if we knew they didn't enjoy it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only thing I find selfish is if you expect oral but not willing to reciprocate that is selfish, unless the other partner is happy with it after discussing it then all is fine
I've found that almost every man from here expects their dick sucked. Very few reciprocate and I don't ask for it, as I don't want a half-hearted 20 second lick. Some do it, but not with the women from here, or only ones that must deserve it.
That is why I said discussion is important, there's not much you can do if a potential partner lies outright!
Apart from tell him to fuck off of course, which I have done in the past and the look of shock on his face was a picture! "
Even when they've said how much they love giving oral, they haven't. I started to wonder if my pussy was gross to look at. Then I met a few men who loved giving as much as me and realised it's just that they lied. Of course, it could also be that my oral giving is so amazing that they forget that they were going to give too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's all just a matter of taste !!!!!!
I mean cum can taste all kinda ways (I've generally never been bothered). "
Eating pineapple or drinking it's juice regularly sweetens the taste of a guts cum. It takes about 2 weeks to be effective.
The same lady can taste different at different times of the month too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks guys for the debate. I've personally had varying experiences. Had partners who indulged in it and we enjoyed the mutual pleasure. I've had a relationship where he never did and turned out to be one of the deal breakers in the end as well as long other factors of course (didn't realise it means that much to me until then). I also would have never forced him. I've also had the dudes who say oh I love giving oral then when it comes down to it they never bother and it's frustrating. Of course I move on as I know I deserve to have my needs met by someone who honestly shares the same desires.
I've also realised it's a deal breaker for me personally as I've only ever came from oral.
What do people think about that aspect of things? If for a woman that's her only way of climaxing."
Is there no other way at all that you can have an orgasm? Do you need an orgasm to enjoy sex?
If it's that much of a deal breaker then I think it's best to mention it. But many men will say they like it just to get a shag. |
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"I’m having this exact predicament. I’ve been seeing someone from Fab for a while now and whilst everything is good in bed, he just never does it! Not even with gentle steering "
Then he is a fool lol x |
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"If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to give
Not necessarily. It might be a big turn off and so make sex a chore. Slowly resentment builds and I'd say so would meeting that person.
Surely we do things because we enjoy them and wouldn't do somethings to someone else if we knew they didn't enjoy it. "
How about the opposite I read some people are happy to give but not receive ? Totally agree With above comment . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on both sides of this I really enjoy receiving oral but one of my ex's hated it and wouldn't go near my cock. In the end I could live with that tho. However the same ex loved to receive oral but I couldn't do as her smell just put me off. I was gutted as I enjoy giving oral so much and that ended us. If you don't want to do somting you don't have to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on both sides of this I really enjoy receiving oral but one of my ex's hated it and wouldn't go near my cock. In the end I could live with that tho. However the same ex loved to receive oral but I couldn't do as her smell just put me off. I was gutted as I enjoy giving oral so much and that ended us. If you don't want to do somting you don't have to. "
That’s a shame. Sounds like perhaps a course of metronidazole could have saved your relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on both sides of this I really enjoy receiving oral but one of my ex's hated it and wouldn't go near my cock. In the end I could live with that tho. However the same ex loved to receive oral but I couldn't do as her smell just put me off. I was gutted as I enjoy giving oral so much and that ended us. If you don't want to do somting you don't have to.
That’s a shame. Sounds like perhaps a course of metronidazole could have saved your relationship "
It may of help for a while but that wasn't the only problem we had it was a mutual break up with been best of freinds since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one should ever have to do something sexually that they do not want to do.
If they are prepared to do it for a partner even though they don’t enjoy it, then that is up to them.
“I don’t want to do that, let’s do this, instead” would work ok for me.... |
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