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Tinder and Bumble
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We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person? "
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apologies if this sounds rude but why be married if you're polyamorous? Surely it would be more authentic to separate and function as two independent individuals with independent sex lives that overlap?
Being married and claiming to be polyamorous feels like you're sending out mixed signals. It feels more like someone who wants their cake and eat it and is using poly as a cover for that. Nothing personal. But that's what the combo of being married and claiming to be poly triggers in me  Maybe I've got this all backwards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those are dating sites ..
For people like me who actually want to date x
People like yourselves are ruining those sites and making everyone weary of eachother..
This is the site for you .."
Do you know what polyamory is? |
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We have accounts on both. But we state on our profiles that we are only looking for fun and we have knowing partners. Most people that match aren’t interested . But every now and then one is. Bumble does seem to be slightly more better for me the male as the women choose you and then if they message you know they have seen your profile and read it. She also has a profile on Grindr where she gets no end of interest lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those are dating sites ..
For people like me who actually want to date x
People like yourselves are ruining those sites and making everyone weary of eachother..
This is the site for you .."
I don't think it's poly couples who are pissing in the swimming pool. It's nob heads (some of them cheats no doubt) trying their luck looking for an easy shag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation. "
I’m signing up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I mention fairly early on that I am in a polyamorous relationship. There are a lot of people (see comments on this thread for example) who don't understand what polyamory is, so you may find you have to explain your circumstances and how poly works for you in your dynamic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being married and poly are not mutually exclusive. OP could be in poly relationship with his wife and Fab friend and looking for more.
Maybe "
I understand a civil partnership and long term relationship being poly. But isn't marriage a monogamous institution in the West? I don't know. Is "married but fucking around" poly? My view of poly was always that it needed to be radically open, not just sexually but emotionally. Surely it's not a great start to that enterprise if you're married? Wouldn't the best first step be to separate and move to an open relationship stance? I don't know. I'm just asking |
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"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation. "
How have you found Feeld? Some of the reviews aren't great, but I guess it's a bit of a mixed bag, like all apps...? |
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"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation.
How have you found Feeld? Some of the reviews aren't great, but I guess it's a bit of a mixed bag, like all apps...?"
Many are a little wary of apps as well vs websites given apps can access data etc - as the recent Facebook issues have demonstrated- although I have no personal experience of this app so it might be fine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being married and poly are not mutually exclusive. OP could be in poly relationship with his wife and Fab friend and looking for more.
Maybe
I understand a civil partnership and long term relationship being poly. But isn't marriage a monogamous institution in the West? I don't know. Is "married but fucking around" poly? My view of poly was always that it needed to be radically open, not just sexually but emotionally. Surely it's not a great start to that enterprise if you're married? Wouldn't the best first step be to separate and move to an open relationship stance? I don't know. I'm just asking "
For some, marriage is a way of committing to a partner regardless of the ritual or historical monogamous institution. If more than one civil partnership at a time were possible, I know several poly people would be happy to be married to more than one person at a time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation. "
I’m on Feeld, but everyone Ive matched lives in Belgium. Basically I’ve matched two women who live in Belgium. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being married and poly are not mutually exclusive. OP could be in poly relationship with his wife and Fab friend and looking for more.
Maybe
I understand a civil partnership and long term relationship being poly. But isn't marriage a monogamous institution in the West? I don't know. Is "married but fucking around" poly? My view of poly was always that it needed to be radically open, not just sexually but emotionally. Surely it's not a great start to that enterprise if you're married? Wouldn't the best first step be to separate and move to an open relationship stance? I don't know. I'm just asking
For some, marriage is a way of committing to a partner regardless of the ritual or historical monogamous institution. If more than one civil partnership at a time were possible, I know several poly people would be happy to be married to more than one person at a time. "
I guess it depends on how you approach it. If you're just fucking other people then it's not really polyAMORY as you're not really falling in love with other people. If, however, you're genuinely opening time and space in your relationship for other lovers then, even if you're married, that is polyamory. Yeah I'm probably just in an arsey mood today. It's probably cool. But you just need to open your relationship up quite radically imo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being married and poly are not mutually exclusive. OP could be in poly relationship with his wife and Fab friend and looking for more.
Maybe
I understand a civil partnership and long term relationship being poly. But isn't marriage a monogamous institution in the West? I don't know. Is "married but fucking around" poly? My view of poly was always that it needed to be radically open, not just sexually but emotionally. Surely it's not a great start to that enterprise if you're married? Wouldn't the best first step be to separate and move to an open relationship stance? I don't know. I'm just asking
For some, marriage is a way of committing to a partner regardless of the ritual or historical monogamous institution. If more than one civil partnership at a time were possible, I know several poly people would be happy to be married to more than one person at a time.
I guess it depends on how you approach it. If you're just fucking other people then it's not really polyAMORY as you're not really falling in love with other people. If, however, you're genuinely opening time and space in your relationship for other lovers then, even if you're married, that is polyamory. Yeah I'm probably just in an arsey mood today. It's probably cool. But you just need to open your relationship up quite radically imo "
Plenty of people practise polyamoury. It is also posiible to be poly in different ways such a polyfidelitous or non-monogamous too. It is possible (as in my case) to love more than one person at a time and also have less emotionally intense/love interactions with others which can be mostly sexual in nature.
Even if that is not your own preference or nutured or natured inclination, that does not mean it doesn't happen for others. It is a really interesting area to look at.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation.
How have you found Feeld? Some of the reviews aren't great, but I guess it's a bit of a mixed bag, like all apps...?"
I used to like it but since they changed the layout of the app I’ve not got on with it. I’ve met some lovely people from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation.
I’m on Feeld, but everyone Ive matched lives in Belgium. Basically I’ve matched two women who live in Belgium. "
I matched with one guy there once. |
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Honestly I've found Ok Cupid to be far more open-minded of situations like yours. I've come across lots of poly people on there. Setting up a good profile and answering a lot of the questions really leads you to like-minded people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation.
I’m on Feeld, but everyone Ive matched lives in Belgium. Basically I’ve matched two women who live in Belgium. "
*cancels download*
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation.
I’m on Feeld, but everyone Ive matched lives in Belgium. Basically I’ve matched two women who live in Belgium.
*cancels download*
"
It was one of my favourite apps to meet likeminded people before joining here. The only one I have bad feeling towards is PoF, been mainly fakes or married guys or total weirdos. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation.
I’m on Feeld, but everyone Ive matched lives in Belgium. Basically I’ve matched two women who live in Belgium.
*cancels download*
It was one of my favourite apps to meet likeminded people before joining here. The only one I have bad feeling towards is PoF, been mainly fakes or married guys or total weirdos. "
Just had a little look but not keen on it wanting access to my facebook friends, and won’t let me access the app without allowing that. It’s a no from me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
You should try ‘feeld’ it’s like the others but for sexually open minded people. It used to be thrindr and aimed at 3somes but opened up to all stuff. You match with people but can be open about your situation.
I’m on Feeld, but everyone Ive matched lives in Belgium. Basically I’ve matched two women who live in Belgium.
*cancels download*
It was one of my favourite apps to meet likeminded people before joining here. The only one I have bad feeling towards is PoF, been mainly fakes or married guys or total weirdos.
Just had a little look but not keen on it wanting access to my facebook friends, and won’t let me access the app without allowing that. It’s a no from me "
All the apps ask for that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Feeld is like the hipster Tinder, everyone is way to cool to chat and shit. "
Really? Half of the people I see on here and Bumble etc are on Feeld. They chat lots. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Feeld is like the hipster Tinder, everyone is way to cool to chat and shit.
Really? Half of the people I see on here and Bumble etc are on Feeld. They chat lots. "
Must be just me then! Since I updated it, I never when I’ve got a message. Tinder is by far the best one for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Feeld is like the hipster Tinder, everyone is way to cool to chat and shit.
Really? Half of the people I see on here and Bumble etc are on Feeld. They chat lots.
Must be just me then! Since I updated it, I never when I’ve got a message. Tinder is by far the best one for me."
I can swipe 100 people on tinder and not like one. There are rarely any that catch my eye. I only swipe on Bumble when I’m bored but a better calibre of guys oh and on killing kittens too, so many hot guys there. |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
I use two swingers sites to find like minded people. But signed up to tinder bumble pof and even match to try and start dating again. I have to say I can honestly see no devide between dating and swingers sites anymore. Know one treats anyone as being genuine or serious anymore. Gone are the days of swingers sites being just that. Likewise for dating sites. It's all just luck of the draw and trying to stand out from the crowd. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
So Im not being deliberately obtuse but what’s the difference between all those above and here? There’s lots of people here open to relationships of all kinds. Sure there’s the “this is not a dating site” brigade but i can’t be arsed with more than one site that’s for sure.
V x |
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By *riggler90Couple
over a year ago
Essex and Dublin |
"Apologies if this sounds rude but why be married if you're polyamorous? Surely it would be more authentic to separate and function as two independent individuals with independent sex lives that overlap?
Being married and claiming to be polyamorous feels like you're sending out mixed signals. It feels more like someone who wants their cake and eat it and is using poly as a cover for that. Nothing personal. But that's what the combo of being married and claiming to be poly triggers in me Maybe I've got this all backwards "
I think it's quite acceptable to be married and Poly. You can't legally be married to two people. Also you might have got married and then that marriage went in a bit of a different direction.
You could be married and then welcome another person to your relationship. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person? "
Best to be upfront. I'd be pissed off to find that I'd been talking to a non single person. |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"We are a couple that also play solo. Trying to figure out what is best regarding my profile (male) Do I state from the start, I'm married but in a polyamory relationship or do I chat for a while to gauge the other person?
Best to be upfront. I'd be pissed off to find that I'd been talking to a non single person. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being married and poly are not mutually exclusive. OP could be in poly relationship with his wife and Fab friend and looking for more.
Maybe
I understand a civil partnership and long term relationship being poly. But isn't marriage a monogamous institution in the West? I don't know. Is "married but fucking around" poly? My view of poly was always that it needed to be radically open, not just sexually but emotionally. Surely it's not a great start to that enterprise if you're married? Wouldn't the best first step be to separate and move to an open relationship stance? I don't know. I'm just asking "
If marriage were a monogamous institution there would be no swinging couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So Im not being deliberately obtuse but what’s the difference between all those above and here? There’s lots of people here open to relationships of all kinds. Sure there’s the “this is not a dating site” brigade but i can’t be arsed with more than one site that’s for sure.
V x "
I use them all the same way, I chance my luck that I can find a sexually open minded guy on dating apps and chance that I can find someone open to more than just sex on here. I see many of the same people In all places tbh. |
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