FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Ran off with a regular FB?
Ran off with a regular FB?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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With hot wives being so popular on Fab....
Does anyone have any experience of a wife, husband or partner running off with their regular fuck buddy? One who their other half knows about. It can be your own or someone else's experience. |
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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago
Lincoln |
I know a few couples I played with as a single guy that are no longer together, one was def caused by swinging but was more because it was a little better sided thing and the other went behind the others back to keep up the lifestyle. We did carry on playing after the split but it was a good while after and we didn’t go on fab as she was the unwilling swinger out of the two
SSS |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know of one couple where the male half couldn't stop "swinging"
When his wife fell pregnant.
It wasn't OK for her that he saw other women without him.
She is now a single parent.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couples should only swing if they are both in full agreement. If one wants to and the other doesn't then it is a recipe for disaster.
To go behind their back is cheating!
So unless it is full agreement of both parties, then it is a recipe for disaster.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Couples should only swing if they are both in full agreement. If one wants to and the other doesn't then it is a recipe for disaster.
To go behind their back is cheating!
So unless it is full agreement of both parties, then it is a recipe for disaster.
"
I agree on full agreement but wonder if, even with agreement, the emotional intimacy of regular 121 meets with the same person puts the original relationship at risk. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know of one couple where the male half couldn't stop "swinging"
When his wife fell pregnant.
It wasn't OK for her that he saw other women without him.
She is now a single parent.
"
I think this is a danger. Women (and men) can change their mind. Once one partner has gone full swing it must be as hard to stop as trying to get them to do it in the first place.
So once the agreement breaks down there are big problems ahead. Perhaps that is why there are so many Fab "couples" where the wife "is not playing right now". |
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I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice |
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Things change as well, what a person may want or enjoy sexually 2,5 or 10 years ago may not be the same now
Where swinging is involved with others that divergence in sexua interests that may occur within a couple may put a real strain on things and eventually things will reach a tipping point (not playing a game with dropping coins though) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice "
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It happened to me (Emm) - only I was the one who ended up in a relationship with my fb. It was on the cards though... my marriage was in its death throes."
That is interesting. If your marriage was failing how did you two view having sex with others would solve the problem? |
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"... "
Yes I totally agree . I would really struggle to see someone I loved having sex with someone else |
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By *oubledongWoman
over a year ago
Headington, Oxford |
"
I agree on full agreement but wonder if, even with agreement, the emotional intimacy of regular 121 meets with the same person puts the original relationship at risk. "
This isn't just a swinging thing, if you have a sound relationship then you have little to worry about. However if you have taken up swinging to try and save a failing relationship then it is a high risk move.
If you have a relationship that is strained then it is going to be easy to find the grass is greener on the other side. If at home you are constantly arguing and taking each other for granted, being with someone that makes an effort to be nice to you and there are never any arguments is going to be like being on holiday.
Many people on holiday imagine how lovely it would be to live in that location, but those that do make the move usually regret it. Your holiday is magical because you are away from the every day drudgery. No work to go to, lovely weather and your holiday money to spend. Once you move there real life takes over, you have to find a job and eventually the winter comes. All those wonderful days on the beach or walking through the vast landscapes never materialise. You then wish you were back in your better paid job with all the friends you left behind, in the town where all the conveniences are to hand.
In short, if you fear your partner or you are going to run off then your relationship is not in the right place and perhaps you need to either fix it or move on now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"...
Yes I totally agree . I would really struggle to see someone I loved having sex with someone else "
Sex is fine for me - making love is different. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I agree on full agreement but wonder if, even with agreement, the emotional intimacy of regular 121 meets with the same person puts the original relationship at risk.
This isn't just a swinging thing, if you have a sound relationship then you have little to worry about. However if you have taken up swinging to try and save a failing relationship then it is a high risk move.
If you have a relationship that is strained then it is going to be easy to find the grass is greener on the other side. If at home you are constantly arguing and taking each other for granted, being with someone that makes an effort to be nice to you and there are never any arguments is going to be like being on holiday.
Many people on holiday imagine how lovely it would be to live in that location, but those that do make the move usually regret it. Your holiday is magical because you are away from the every day drudgery. No work to go to, lovely weather and your holiday money to spend. Once you move there real life takes over, you have to find a job and eventually the winter comes. All those wonderful days on the beach or walking through the vast landscapes never materialise. You then wish you were back in your better paid job with all the friends you left behind, in the town where all the conveniences are to hand.
In short, if you fear your partner or you are going to run off then your relationship is not in the right place and perhaps you need to either fix it or move on now."
I agree totally with you. Greener grass...  |
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"...
Yes I totally agree . I would really struggle to see someone I loved having sex with someone else
Sex is fine for me - making love is different. "
Well , without sounding too agreeable.... I agree  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"...
Yes I totally agree . I would really struggle to see someone I loved having sex with someone else
Sex is fine for me - making love is different.
Well , without sounding too agreeable.... I agree "
Well, I am surprised!!!  |
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"...
Yes I totally agree . I would really struggle to see someone I loved having sex with someone else
Sex is fine for me - making love is different.
Well , without sounding too agreeable.... I agree
Well, I am surprised!!! "
Really ? Is that because of the mars and Venus thing and me being a bloke ? |
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"It happened to me (Emm) - only I was the one who ended up in a relationship with my fb. It was on the cards though... my marriage was in its death throes.
That is interesting. If your marriage was failing how did you two view having sex with others would solve the problem? "
We were swinging before things went pear shaped and at that time I thought everything was ok. But then he did something that knocked a hole in the marriage... we tried limping on but it was really only papering over the cracks. It was only a matter of time before it ended - meeting my fb was just the catalyst. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It happened to me (Emm) - only I was the one who ended up in a relationship with my fb. It was on the cards though... my marriage was in its death throes.
That is interesting. If your marriage was failing how did you two view having sex with others would solve the problem?
We were swinging before things went pear shaped and at that time I thought everything was ok. But then he did something that knocked a hole in the marriage... we tried limping on but it was really only papering over the cracks. It was only a matter of time before it ended - meeting my fb was just the catalyst."
I understand .. the relationship has to be very solid to withstand a close attachment to another person. However good the relationship is 10, 15, 20 years will dull the sex. That is when others can make a big impact. |
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I’ve often wondered the same thing myself .
It’s one thing enjoying group sex , nsa sex , playing together , which is what we have always done . It’s quite another when one partner deliberately develops a relationship with a playmate .
We have seen so many couples split up in the seven years that we have been swinging , and almost all of them have been down to relationships developing with people that play separately . |
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"I know of one couple where the male half couldn't stop "swinging"
When his wife fell pregnant.
"
Sometimes we have had couples message us and it appears to be very one sided ... as if it's just the man messaging ... they seem to talk more as if they are trying to get a fmm 3some rather than a 4 some... when we have looked at the photos on the profile there seems to be no recent pics yet the person says they are always swinging .... but we wonder if it's as a couple or as a single male as the female is busy and can't make the meet ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello, my hubby and I have swung for a while but we’re looking for a decent honest single guy , plus he will be vetted by hubby as hubs is I’ll and cannot do what we both love and I would never leave him for another it’s just him allowing me sexual satisfaction and fun but controlled s little . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone who has been the 'extra' guy in a relationship, several in fact, it's never something I would consider. I've played with several couples for a couple of years and one couple for eight years. Sometimes just me and the wife. I always knew my place in their lives. An enhancement to their sex life. Nothing more, nothing less. If I had thought in any of the couples I played with there was becoming any emotional attachment I would walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single fem who has met couples in the past.... every couple I have ever met have ended up splitting cos one or other cheated with someone who they met swinging.
At one point I was seeing both a husband and a wife believing both knew as we had played together. Only to find out that both were cheating with me. The wife went mental even though she was doing the same.
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"As a single fem who has met couples in the past.... every couple I have ever met have ended up splitting cos one or other cheated with someone who they met swinging.
At one point I was seeing both a husband and a wife believing both knew as we had played together. Only to find out that both were cheating with me. The wife went mental even though she was doing the same.
"
And that’s why we only ever play together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened to me. Split up with my ex about six months ago after cuckolding for years. She got greedy, even demanded to go to a swingers club without me on the day I had a vasectomy. The last couple of months of the relationship involved alot of her going to the club while I waited at home. |
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By *inkvaderMan
over a year ago
london/manchester/ringwood |
"Happened to me. Split up with my ex about six months ago after cuckolding for years. She got greedy, even demanded to go to a swingers club without me on the day I had a vasectomy. The last couple of months of the relationship involved alot of her going to the club while I waited at home. "
Mate you’re better off without her!! And anyway you’ll come across someone who takes you for who you are pal.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"... "
I think if a couple swing to spice up their sex life it's a recipe for disaster x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happened to me. Split up with my ex about six months ago after cuckolding for years. She got greedy, even demanded to go to a swingers club without me on the day I had a vasectomy. The last couple of months of the relationship involved alot of her going to the club while I waited at home. "
I don't understand, you were her cuckold & then when she cuckolded you, you got upset & left her?
Seems you were the problem not her. |
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We swing because:
1. We both (currently) have really high sex drives
2. Enjoy seeing each other get off in a number of overtly kink ways
3. Genuinely believe that swinging (if correctly approached) kills any drive to 'cheat'
On that last point. We both believe that cheating in our relationship would be really fucking dumb. If either of us got hit on we've got the option of saying 'Hey ask my partner, we can have a threesome'. Where swingers end up 'cheating' is through 'emotional affairs' that turn into the 'love making' that is mentioned in this thread by others.
So given that we don't actively have to manage our physicality (damn well getting our fix any way we please) we spend a lot of effort on (shock) communication and emotional support for one another.
For anyone interested, the (very good) BBC Drama "The Split" is well worth a watch, if only because it's full of monogamous heterosexual couples getting into awful problems because they A. can't manage their emotional VS physical attraction and B. don't have the fantastic outlet that swinging CAN provide if approached correctly. |
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Not long after I'd stopped seeing her, I learned the hotwife I'd visited on and off for three years had left her husband for the 'new guy'...
....at one point she had told me she loved me, and I guessed she'd probably done the same with him...
....it only lasted a couple of months, though, and then she went back to hubby... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened to me, me and ex used to see one guy regular..she then started meeting him alone without my knowledge and consent so told her to move on as no trust no relationship. Unfortunately for her the fb has dumped her and left her alone homeless (couch surfing at friends) keeps hinting at wanting to come back but that won't happen after all the deciet and lies she gave.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Those who think that swinging prevents cheating.... It really doesn't. For a lot of people it's the sneaking about that makes things exciting.
If u have permission to do something it isnt half as enjoyable as doing it in secret.
Look at how many marrieds are on here doing that rather than having affairs. The thrill of the chase, the ducking and diving, the almost being caught.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex wife started seeing the guy from our regular fb's in secret.
She married him and he screwed her over when they divorced very soon after.
My current wife had a d*unken fuck with a work mate but she came clean.
I guess by being on the site I have the potential to meet and even up the score as it were, even if it never actually happens in reality.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"...
I think if a couple swing to spice up their sex life it's a recipe for disaster x"
Why do they swing then? |
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Two couples we used to swing with in a group split up and shortly afterwards two of them got together as a couple. The male then decided he wanted them to be exclusive to each other so he was ditched very quickly. Have not heard from any of them for several years so don’t know what happened next xx |
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I'm coming out the other side of something similar to this. Me and my wife recently split for reasons outside of swinging. We had been on here for around 4 years and enjoyed both couples and single meets.
Since splitting I have spent quite a lot of time with a lady who I have been Fwb with for years. Who is married to a good friend of mine who is happy for us to do what we are doing.
We are probably closer than we should be. But doubt it is gonna be a problem except if I want to start dating then she may get upset. Though she happy for me to play and we may even create a couples profile in the future. |
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"...
I think if a couple swing to spice up their sex life it's a recipe for disaster x
Why do they swing then? "
I think what they are saying is that if a couple have to swing to spice up their sex life , the relationship isn’t as strong as it needs to be .
Swinging for couples is always going to be better if it’s just something they do together as a hobby rather than a needs must , if that makes sense . |
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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago
south coast |
As guy who counts himself lucky to have been involved with a long term couple (over 5 years), where I've had the pleasure of seeing the very hot wife on her own (go out as couple, nights away etc).
But also ensure we include hubby from time to time (me and him both straight).
At no point am I going to become a threat to their very strong relationship because I would be abusing his thier trust in me and really important to let them have alone and rekindling time.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can’t help feeling that the reason in the first place a couple swing is because there is something missing in that relationship and therefore they introduce others to push boundaries and find what’s missing . I’m sure this doesn’t relate to all couples but I’d hazard a guess it’s a good slice
Couples do it to "spice up their sex lives". I think that is fine with agreement but for me it is not the cock in the pussy that is the problem... it is the emotions that get involved when "fucking" becoming "making love". The FB becoming their "lover"...
I think if a couple swing to spice up their sex life it's a recipe for disaster x
Why do they swing then?
I think what they are saying is that if a couple have to swing to spice up their sex life , the relationship isn’t as strong as it needs to be .
Swinging for couples is always going to be better if it’s just something they do together as a hobby rather than a needs must , if that makes sense ."
Ok. I see. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As guy who counts himself lucky to have been involved with a long term couple (over 5 years), where I've had the pleasure of seeing the very hot wife on her own (go out as couple, nights away etc).
But also ensure we include hubby from time to time (me and him both straight).
At no point am I going to become a threat to their very strong relationship because I would be abusing his thier trust in me and really important to let them have alone and rekindling time.
"
That is fine. I can see in over 5 years you did not develop any emotional attraction between you. I am just wondering... did you have a woman of your own during the 5 years? |
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