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Dating etiquette
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A question for the ladies.
I'm experiencing somewhat disorientating success in dating, with I believe about 10 women actively trying to meet me either for the first or second time. One in particular seems quite smitten. So here's my question...
If you dated a guy and you really liked him would you expect him to stop dating others? Or would you recognise that, in dating as in realty, people are on the market until they're taken off the market?
I'd like to be honest with my dates that I'm having other dates. But I don't want them to be put off or upset by that. Is it just something you have to tell white lies about? Since I'm new to this whole thing I don't really grasp the etiquette  |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
If Im totally honest with you.
If you have to think about choosing me then Im not for you. When youre into someone and I mean in to them you are not interested in the looking.
Focus on the one not everyone x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd rather know your dating elsewhere and not just dating me. that said, in the vanilla world, for a while I was dating 3 guys and they didn't know about each other. I only binned 2 off when I decided to be physical with 1 or the 3 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My intention with dating is pure. I just want to meet people and open myself to the possibility of love. Whilst it would be nice to experience love at first sight... or even to fall madly in love when having a one night stand... until this happens I'm happy to see different women who I genuinely like several times and see if anything bubbles up.
This, to me, just seems like the best way of going about it. But I was worried women wouldn't see it that way. It would seem some do and some don't. So egg shells maybe |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I've been out of the dating game for a long time. But if I was seeing someone and they told me they were dating other people as well I'd feel like you were waiting for a better offer, be very miffed and probably dump you!! |
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I don’t hide the fact I perhaps see more than one guy (socially or otherwise) but I don’t ram it down their throats or boast about it. I think most here know it’s probably not exclusive but there are polite ways of avoiding discussing your other conquests without creating the green eyed monster effect.
Be up front, be honest.... most of all respect others also have emotions too. Perhaps try not to let it be anything more than what you joined here for. |
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"My intention with dating is pure. I just want to meet people and open myself to the possibility of love. Whilst it would be nice to experience love at first sight... or even to fall madly in love when having a one night stand... until this happens I'm happy to see different women who I genuinely like several times and see if anything bubbles up.
This, to me, just seems like the best way of going about it. But I was worried women wouldn't see it that way. It would seem some do and some don't. So egg shells maybe "
That’s very much the US way of dating rather than how it’s done in the UK - certainly in my day anyway.
For me, a first date is just that. If you move to a second date, there is an expectation that you’re moving to exclusive territory. You ask me out a third time and you see someone else, I’m going to see that as you playing around behind my back & probably knee you in the nuts.
Fab is different. If this is vanilla world dating you are playing women off against each other without them knowing - and in my kind, that’s one of the lowest things you can do while dating |
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"I don’t hide the fact I perhaps see more than one guy (socially or otherwise) but I don’t ram it down their throats or boast about it. I think most here know it’s probably not exclusive but there are polite ways of avoiding discussing your other conquests without creating the green eyed monster effect.
Be up front, be honest.... most of all respect others also have emotions too. Perhaps try not to let it be anything more than what you joined here for."
This isn’t Fab meets - he’s talking about vanilla dating  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends what you mean by 'dating'. In my mind it means you're attracted to someone and want to explore the relationship further.
If you're doing that with others at the same time then you're not giving it your full attention and that will show. You could rightly expect to to get the cold shoulder.
If it's more casual than that (for both if you) then it sounds more like a regular friendship rather than anything romantic (i.e. a date). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When I was dating my ex I was a scrawny kid and other offers were thin on the ground (none). So it was really easy to do what the consensus seems to be suggesting on here i.e shut up shop with each nice person you date and try to make the relationship work and maybe marry them, live happily ever after, etc.
But now, in the age of tinder, I've got lots and lots of options (welcome to the mirror image of Fab ladies) and of the 5 women I've met in the last week or so at least 4 of them were attractive, kind, funny and one of them pounced on me (which was lovely). Should I stop now and pick one of them even though the fireworks hasn't really happened for me? Should I stop seeing them? Should I stop arranging future dates?
I'll be honest I'm genuinely a bit disorientated by all the offers I just want to meet a bunch of lovely people I'm attracted to, have fun times together, and give love room to blossom. I can't see how picking the first one who comes along is going to work for me. But maybe that's just because I haven't felt that voom yet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm chatting to a woman at the moment and the conversation just isn't flowing. So many others. Think I might not bother. Beginning to see how it is for women on here. But damn I'm conflicted. Cut a good looking woman off just because she's not a great conversationalist?! That just goes against the grain of everything I've learnt on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was dating I would go on lots of first dates, even second dates, when it gets to wanting a third it obviously means you want to spend time with them. I've "known" pretty early on who I would want to see more of. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"5 women in a week?
That's believable  "
"Last week or so" is what I wrote. This week I have 4 dates and am going to a group meet for singles. Luckily my weekend is free... although one of my dates wants to spend the night with me then  I love the fact that you don't believe me though |
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Back when I was regularly dating, I remember seeing a girl who told me that she - like me - had been on a few dates recently.
The date went really well, we kissed at the end of the night... only for her to later tell me that she wanted to go on a few more dates with other guys before seeing me again.
Now, I know that kissing me isn’t a promise of anything more but, to me, I felt like I was being used to make her feel better about yourself.
Be honest; how much of dating 10 girls, and humble-bragging about it here, is really just to make you feel better about yourself? Not telling the whole truth is a form of dishonesty, and if you’re not telling them because you think they’d tell you where to go, then you’re not being fair to them. |
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"I don’t hide the fact I perhaps see more than one guy (socially or otherwise) but I don’t ram it down their throats or boast about it. I think most here know it’s probably not exclusive but there are polite ways of avoiding discussing your other conquests without creating the green eyed monster effect.
Be up front, be honest.... most of all respect others also have emotions too. Perhaps try not to let it be anything more than what you joined here for.
This isn’t Fab meets - he’s talking about vanilla dating "
Ops! Apologies, totally miss d the point |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
5? Wow....Mr Popular hey?!
Ages ago I remember a woman on here having a similar issue. I think she ended up having a social type date with each of them before ranking them to go on a second date with....
Perhaps you could do that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I was dating I would go on lots of first dates, even second dates, when it gets to wanting a third it obviously means you want to spend time with them. I've "known" pretty early on who I would want to see more of. "
This I can work with! I'm averse to seeing the date who is hot on me for a third time because I just can't see it working out in the long run.
A three strike rule seems totally reasonable. I'd be upset if I was dating a woman for a while and then found out she was dating others. But until then I wouldn't deign to assume she'd stop on my behalf |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"5? Wow....Mr Popular hey?!
Ages ago I remember a woman on here having a similar issue. I think she ended up having a social type date with each of them before ranking them to go on a second date with....
Perhaps you could do that? "
Ps if I was one of the 5 and got the impression that's what was going on your be binned straight away!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If Im totally honest with you.
If you have to think about choosing me then Im not for you. When youre into someone and I mean in to them you are not interested in the looking.
Focus on the one not everyone x"
This for me too
And it would be the end of my interest in a guy if i thought i was one of many to be honest.
I’m old fashioned when it comes to romantic dating. If you like someone then date them, if it doesn’t work then end it and go back to looking. Simple and straightforward. |
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When I was doing the online dating thing, I would arrange dates (far and few between lol) and take each one as it comes....I think just looking at someone when you first meet could put you off, but does that mean You wouldn't 2nd date? In my eyes yes.
Just chatting online to multiple people is confusing so dating them all, puts more pressure on yourself.
Just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Am I wandering into a minefield due to a miscommunication? I'm talking about first and second dates only here. I'm not talking about anything further down the line than that. You women seem awfully het up about a guy who's just checking out the field |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Be honest; how much of dating 10 girls, and humble-bragging about it here, is really just to make you feel better about yourself? Not telling the whole truth is a form of dishonesty, and if you’re not telling them because you think they’d tell you where to go, then you’re not being fair to them."
I've done the required self searching and can tell you honestly I have absolutely no interest in bragging about this stuff. I'm actually genuinely out of my depth lol. It would be much nicer if it was all a bit slower... say a little like my "zero people looked at you" setting on here but with a slightly higher figure lol |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"Be honest; how much of dating 10 girls, and humble-bragging about it here, is really just to make you feel better about yourself? Not telling the whole truth is a form of dishonesty, and if you’re not telling them because you think they’d tell you where to go, then you’re not being fair to them.
I've done the required self searching and can tell you honestly I have absolutely no interest in bragging about this stuff. I'm actually genuinely out of my depth lol. It would be much nicer if it was all a bit slower... say a little like my "zero people looked at you" setting on here but with a slightly higher figure lol "
Welcome to our world
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I wandering into a minefield due to a miscommunication? I'm talking about first and second dates only here. I'm not talking about anything further down the line than that. You women seem awfully het up about a guy who's just checking out the field "
I get awfully het up about a guy who’s checking out the field when he’s been eyeing up my ball and intends to take me out to bat.
But then, this is why i’m hard work when it comes to dating. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just chatting online to multiple people is confusing so dating them all, puts more pressure on yourself."
I think you've summed up where I've gone wrong. So used to long months of nothing on here, I've ploughed into the dating apps and gone a bit ballistic with setting up dates and now my chickens have come home to roost haha. I think I need to slow down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Online dating is a minefield as it is so yes well done on attracting so many potential dates. Women getting "het up" is pretty reasonsble - we think differently to men - surely you should know ? I'd be pretty pissed to find out if you were taking to other women too but probably better off if you were playing the field. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Going on some dates and dating are two different things for me. Up until we’re dating i.e have discussed exclusivity, I don’t see why either of us couldn’t go on other dates too. However, I have many pals who would go nuts about that and that isn’t wrong of them really either! You’re not gonna get a definitive answer as there isn’t really one, depends how those women see it. It’s a minefield! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm afraid you are playing the field rather than checking it out as you put it.
You're also creating your own problems. You seem to like all the attention rather than making a serious effort to find the right person for you. And, of course, you're also playing around on Fab too. It's no wonder you're finding it too much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The vanilla dating world is a strange place...
The advice I’m going to give you is going to be unpopular on here but it works..
Please keep dating all the women that want to meet you and let the one that likes you the most prove herself.
It can get expensive to date so make a budget every payday and stick to it. Try meeting for coffee every first date instead of dinner and drinks... it will save you time and money if you’re not interested.
Do not have sex with any of them without a condom because they will take that as being exclusive. Do not have any overnight sleep overs and try to see each lady once a week...
If you do this , you should have a great summer and by the fall you will have found Mrs. Right.
Last but not least these women are dating other men so don’t feel guilty... good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But damn I'm conflicted. Cut a good looking woman off just because she's not a great conversationalist?!
I really hope that’s just a bad joke."
Unfortunately not. I know. I know. She's still on hold now. It's got to that point. There must just be tonnes of women down here desperately seeking a man and not used to being contacted by a guy well schooled by Fab into putting effort and charm into his first messages  (now that... that's a brag ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having done much more of the POF/Tinder dating than fab over the last couple of years. I have to be honest that my friends have been very clear with me that the first couple of dates, until you have the talk about exclusivity it’s okay to date other people but not to tell the guys that I’m potentially seeing anyone else.
However I’m generally an open and honest person so tended to tell guys if there were other dates going on. It’s meant I potentially lost out but it least I knew I was being honest, because if I thought things were more serious then they were and I found out a guy I had started seeing was also seeing other women then I’d be really upset and probably not want to continue seeing them.
That being said generally I have found these conversations have come up quite naturally and we have had some agreement.
Someone who is now a very close friend told me that he’d be really disappointed if I met anyone else while we were getting to know each other and I really liked him so it was a no brainer and said we’ll thats fine I won’t meet anyone else.
Think what I have written is as clear as mud but my opinion is it to open and honest and have those conversations. I’m the early days I didn’t mind as long as I knew where we both stood tbh.
Good luck with it all. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm afraid you are playing the field rather than checking it out as you put it.
You're also creating your own problems. You seem to like all the attention rather than making a serious effort to find the right person for you. And, of course, you're also playing around on Fab too. It's no wonder you're finding it too much."
Oh don't worry. Fab is the perfect antidote |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm afraid you are playing the field rather than checking it out as you put it.
You're also creating your own problems. You seem to like all the attention rather than making a serious effort to find the right person for you. And, of course, you're also playing around on Fab too. It's no wonder you're finding it too much.
Oh don't worry. Fab is the perfect antidote "
To what?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The vanilla dating world is a strange place...
The advice I’m going to give you is going to be unpopular on here but it works..
Please keep dating all the women that want to meet you and let the one that likes you the most prove herself.
It can get expensive to date so make a budget every payday and stick to it. Try meeting for coffee every first date instead of dinner and drinks... it will save you time and money if you’re not interested.
Do not have sex with any of them without a condom because they will take that as being exclusive. Do not have any overnight sleep overs and try to see each lady once a week...
If you do this , you should have a great summer and by the fall you will have found Mrs. Right.
Last but not least these women are dating other men so don’t feel guilty... good luck"
Sounds sensible to me, I personally would be ok with this. However at the point of sex I would want to know if it was exclusive or not tbh. And if I knew this sleep over would be ok in my opinion.
I and my girlfriends all say drinks only on the first date then you can leave after just one without being rude. But if you click it can lead to 2 or 3. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm afraid you are playing the field rather than checking it out as you put it.
You're also creating your own problems. You seem to like all the attention rather than making a serious effort to find the right person for you. And, of course, you're also playing around on Fab too. It's no wonder you're finding it too much.
Oh don't worry. Fab is the perfect antidote
To what?!"
To any form of success by any measure. Whilst I've got frigging messages pinging up on all the other apps it's that comfortable old tumble I've grown used to on here  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Damn this is a minefield! So far rudeboycane is bang on... and I'm not even a frigging player by any measure... but he's right. And yet so is SSBBWRose. It feels like there's some kind of "exclusivity discussion" that, as a total newbie to this, I've been in complete ignorance of. I've already done the overnighter. But that was only because she made it clear she wasn't around for long, was moving half way across the UK, and just wanted fun. Now she wants me to move with her I know I'm going to have to pull the plug but I'd far rather just let it fizzle out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Damn this is a minefield! So far rudeboycane is bang on... and I'm not even a frigging player by any measure... but he's right. And yet so is SSBBWRose. It feels like there's some kind of "exclusivity discussion" that, as a total newbie to this, I've been in complete ignorance of. I've already done the overnighter. But that was only because she made it clear she wasn't around for long, was moving half way across the UK, and just wanted fun. Now she wants me to move with her I know I'm going to have to pull the plug but I'd far rather just let it fizzle out "
These dating sites are very fickle... you’re now the new kid on the block. So every woman wants to meet you. Remember it doesn’t last long so enjoy it while you can. After you have met everyone that you match with in a 30 mile radius. You will become a regular guy hoping to meet the new users weekly. If you don’t find anyone long term after the summer. It will be a cold winter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Damn this is a minefield! So far rudeboycane is bang on... and I'm not even a frigging player by any measure... but he's right. And yet so is SSBBWRose. It feels like there's some kind of "exclusivity discussion" that, as a total newbie to this, I've been in complete ignorance of. I've already done the overnighter. But that was only because she made it clear she wasn't around for long, was moving half way across the UK, and just wanted fun. Now she wants me to move with her I know I'm going to have to pull the plug but I'd far rather just let it fizzle out "
Please just tell her. Yes it might be uncomfortable and might be a headache but overall is kinder. Personally my opinion is we are all adults and until you spend time with someone how do you know if there is potential for a relationship or not. However I think I might run a mile if someone was asking me to move across the country after a couple of dates, best of luck. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"However I think I might run a mile if someone was asking me to move across the country after a couple of dates, best of luck. xx"
Welcome to my nightmare haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure I've ever really done the dating thing. Mostly down to not feeling brave enough and lacking the time.
However if I was, I'd certainly be looking to meet for a drink, coffee etc early on and with a few people if I could. I see no reason not to and imagine everyone is doing similar. Not sure I'd want to be shouting it from the rooftops but I'd be honest enough to hopefully not lead anyone on.
For the very lucky few, love may be instant fireworks as you touch fingers reaching for the last Tesco ready meal. For the rest of us it's like buying the perfect dress. While you may try on one that ends up being "the one" in the first shop, chances are you'll still try on a few more elsewhere just to be sure. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Damn this is a minefield! So far rudeboycane is bang on... and I'm not even a frigging player by any measure... but he's right. And yet so is SSBBWRose. It feels like there's some kind of "exclusivity discussion" that, as a total newbie to this, I've been in complete ignorance of. I've already done the overnighter. But that was only because she made it clear she wasn't around for long, was moving half way across the UK, and just wanted fun. Now she wants me to move with her I know I'm going to have to pull the plug but I'd far rather just let it fizzle out
These dating sites are very fickle... you’re now the new kid on the block. So every woman wants to meet you. Remember it doesn’t last long so enjoy it while you can. After you have met everyone that you match with in a 30 mile radius. You will become a regular guy hoping to meet the new users weekly. If you don’t find anyone long term after the summer. It will be a cold winter "
You are the sagely grandmaster rudeboycane I bow to your nuggets of wisdom |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure I've ever really done the dating thing. Mostly down to not feeling brave enough and lacking the time.
However if I was, I'd certainly be looking to meet for a drink, coffee etc early on and with a few people if I could. I see no reason not to and imagine everyone is doing similar. Not sure I'd want to be shouting it from the rooftops but I'd be honest enough to hopefully not lead anyone on.
For the very lucky few, love may be instant fireworks as you touch fingers reaching for the last Tesco ready meal. For the rest of us it's like buying the perfect dress. While you may try on one that ends up being "the one" in the first shop, chances are you'll still try on a few more elsewhere just to be sure. "
I agree. I also worry that I'm a bit fickle. I know me. The first pair of 32Ds that enter the room and I'll be willing to shut up shop However, I'm older and wiser now and know that there's a lot more to finding a life partner than an outrageously gorgeous pair of tits (well there's a bit more at least ). What about personality? Adventures together? Compatibilities? I'm not a genius. I haven't a hope of gauging these on a first or even third date. In the end, someone who grows on me may be the far better choice than the 32D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Damn this is a minefield! So far rudeboycane is bang on... and I'm not even a frigging player by any measure... but he's right. And yet so is SSBBWRose. It feels like there's some kind of "exclusivity discussion" that, as a total newbie to this, I've been in complete ignorance of. I've already done the overnighter. But that was only because she made it clear she wasn't around for long, was moving half way across the UK, and just wanted fun. Now she wants me to move with her I know I'm going to have to pull the plug but I'd far rather just let it fizzle out
These dating sites are very fickle... you’re now the new kid on the block. So every woman wants to meet you. Remember it doesn’t last long so enjoy it while you can. After you have met everyone that you match with in a 30 mile radius. You will become a regular guy hoping to meet the new users weekly. If you don’t find anyone long term after the summer. It will be a cold winter
You are the sagely grandmaster rudeboycane I bow to your nuggets of wisdom "
Thank you but I’m no grandmaster...
I just grew up with internet dating, I have 15 years experience....
I had Facebook when it was only for University people... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Damn this is a minefield! So far rudeboycane is bang on... and I'm not even a frigging player by any measure... but he's right. And yet so is SSBBWRose. It feels like there's some kind of "exclusivity discussion" that, as a total newbie to this, I've been in complete ignorance of. I've already done the overnighter. But that was only because she made it clear she wasn't around for long, was moving half way across the UK, and just wanted fun. Now she wants me to move with her I know I'm going to have to pull the plug but I'd far rather just let it fizzle out
These dating sites are very fickle... you’re now the new kid on the block. So every woman wants to meet you. Remember it doesn’t last long so enjoy it while you can. After you have met everyone that you match with in a 30 mile radius. You will become a regular guy hoping to meet the new users weekly. If you don’t find anyone long term after the summer. It will be a cold winter
You are the sagely grandmaster rudeboycane I bow to your nuggets of wisdom
Thank you but I’m no grandmaster...
I just grew up with internet dating, I have 15 years experience....
I had Facebook when it was only for University people..."
This thing "facesbook" of which you talk? Old fart alert here Thanks for the advice dude |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Another reason why this experience is topsy-turvy is because Fab only really benefits mildly amusing guys with a six pack and a quarter pound of salami. There are a vast array of "assets" more interesting, wealthy, ambitious, successful, learned, talented, intriguing guys can bring into play on a dating site that are considered vulgar to mention on here (see! even my mentioning them seems crass). Ironically, it's this stuff that compensates for the male duck's somewhat boring plumage and lets him stand out from the herd. Something us guys have to somehow do on here without using any of that stuff.
This perhaps highlights why Fab is possibly not the best vehicle for finding a date |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i was using dating sites some 15 years ago, I went out with loads of guys. Some once, some twice, some several times. Some I slept with, some I didn’t. I found mulitiple dating great fun. I was always clear that I was not looking for a relationship, but I didn’t rub it in their face that there were others. It certainly didn’t bother me if they dated others too. I think I fancied myself as one of the girls from ‘Sex and the City’.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i was using dating sites some 15 years ago, I went out with loads of guys. Some once, some twice, some several times. Some I slept with, some I didn’t. I found mulitiple dating great fun. I was always clear that I was not looking for a relationship, but I didn’t rub it in their face that there were others. It certainly didn’t bother me if they dated others too. I think I fancied myself as one of the girls from ‘Sex and the City’.
Mrs"
That is how it’s supposed to work... but you have to remember some of the 40 and above people aren’t used to casual dating.... they are coming from a different era.
That’s why I tended to avoid dating recently divorced women... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i was using dating sites some 15 years ago, I went out with loads of guys. Some once, some twice, some several times. Some I slept with, some I didn’t. I found mulitiple dating great fun. I was always clear that I was not looking for a relationship, but I didn’t rub it in their face that there were others. It certainly didn’t bother me if they dated others too. I think I fancied myself as one of the girls from ‘Sex and the City’.
Mrs
That is how it’s supposed to work... but you have to remember some of the 40 and above people aren’t used to casual dating.... they are coming from a different era.
That’s why I tended to avoid dating recently divorced women..."
I don’t know what the tick boxes are on dating sites these days. I used Dating Direct (there wasn’t much choice of sites back then) and ticked ‘fun and friendship’ as what I was looking for. I would have found it bizarre if exclusivity were assumed based on what I said I was looking for. And I only searched for the guys who had also checked that box.
Mrs |
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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago
Lincoln |
"My intention with dating is pure. I just want to meet people and open myself to the possibility of love. Whilst it would be nice to experience love at first sight... or even to fall madly in love when having a one night stand... until this happens I'm happy to see different women who I genuinely like several times and see if anything bubbles up.
This, to me, just seems like the best way of going about it. But I was worried women wouldn't see it that way. It would seem some do and some don't. So egg shells maybe "
You will know when you meet the one you want to be with as suddenly all the rest won’t matter  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i was using dating sites some 15 years ago, I went out with loads of guys. Some once, some twice, some several times. Some I slept with, some I didn’t. I found mulitiple dating great fun. I was always clear that I was not looking for a relationship, but I didn’t rub it in their face that there were others. It certainly didn’t bother me if they dated others too. I think I fancied myself as one of the girls from ‘Sex and the City’.
Mrs
That is how it’s supposed to work... but you have to remember some of the 40 and above people aren’t used to casual dating.... they are coming from a different era.
That’s why I tended to avoid dating recently divorced women..."
I’m recently divorced but have been online dating since 2002. I definitely know what casual dating is but have also met a husband and another serious bf from online dating. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You will know when you meet the one you want to be with as suddenly all the rest won’t matter "
Amen to that Thanks for all the feedback on this thread. I met a lovely Polish woman yesterday. Beautiful. Sexy. Kind. I'm meeting her again in a few days time. So we'll see what that's like. Today it's off to a big singles meet down near the beach... about 25 women going... so my dating might be about to get even more hectic haha. Then it's on to an evening date with a rather nice looking woman with whom the chat has taken a flirtatious lilt. It ended with me assuring her that I would be a total gentleman and her replying "please don't!"  So who knows where that one's going to go.
Hopefully, as some of you have said, out of this mayhem a woman will emerge who is really perfect for me |
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I suddenly found myself single when I was forty Ish and got myself on a well known dating site.
What I found was that for a man of that age if you are. (a) solvent (b) like talking to women about non sexual subjects and. (c) and most crucially, willing to meet women of your own age (many middle aged men want younger women), then you can indeed date lots of women.
I can well relate to the OP's Situation. For about a year I had about four to five women on the go. It was very good for the ego, but became quite tiring and was rather a drain financially.
I operated a don't ask don't tell policy. I didn't ask for or promise exclusivity, but I said nothing about other people I was seeing.
It was good while it lasted and was something I needed at the time, but like I say it got tiring and I now muck prefer to have one exclusive emotional relationship whilst having a few ongoing sexual connections as well. |
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"You will know when you meet the one you want to be with as suddenly all the rest won’t matter
Amen to that Thanks for all the feedback on this thread. I met a lovely Polish woman yesterday. Beautiful. Sexy. Kind. I'm meeting her again in a few days time. So we'll see what that's like. Today it's off to a big singles meet down near the beach... about 25 women going... so my dating might be about to get even more hectic haha. Then it's on to an evening date with a rather nice looking woman with whom the chat has taken a flirtatious lilt. It ended with me assuring her that I would be a total gentleman and her replying "please don't!" So who knows where that one's going to go.
Hopefully, as some of you have said, out of this mayhem a woman will emerge who is really perfect for me "
Good luck to you, but you really can't deny you're bragging |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You will know when you meet the one you want to be with as suddenly all the rest won’t matter
Amen to that Thanks for all the feedback on this thread. I met a lovely Polish woman yesterday. Beautiful. Sexy. Kind. I'm meeting her again in a few days time. So we'll see what that's like. Today it's off to a big singles meet down near the beach... about 25 women going... so my dating might be about to get even more hectic haha. Then it's on to an evening date with a rather nice looking woman with whom the chat has taken a flirtatious lilt. It ended with me assuring her that I would be a total gentleman and her replying "please don't!" So who knows where that one's going to go.
Hopefully, as some of you have said, out of this mayhem a woman will emerge who is really perfect for me
Good luck to you, but you really can't deny you're bragging "
Thanks for the previous post. It's good to know others have had similar experiences. I really don't *think* I'm getting a buzz out of telling everyone. But you're right... the mind is deceptive so maybe I am. To me, it's more just the buzz of the thing itself. As you said, it's quite nice having all this attention, especially after a ltr which slowly lost that buzz. I think the wonderful flirtation and raised pulses of it all is pretty much what I came onto Fab for. So it's nice, after all this time and quiet on here (I've been on here before), to finally have found some of that.
I'm also sharing it because I think it may be interesting for women to read. There's a lot of misunderstanding between the sexes on dating. Some women seem to think that the minute they enter the room you should fall to your knees and ask them to marry you. The misnomer, I guess, is that they're so significantly more attractive than all the other women that you can't resist them. In truth there are lots of beautiful women out there and it can be really confusing for a guy, trying to make each one feel as special as she demands he make her feel, whilst trying to dig deeper than skin deep to see if she's really the person underneath that you really want to commit to. It's a hectic juggling act that gets labelled as womanising or being a player... when in fact I'm only trying to do something quite reasonable.... make a good choice |
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"You will know when you meet the one you want to be with as suddenly all the rest won’t matter
Amen to that Thanks for all the feedback on this thread. I met a lovely Polish woman yesterday. Beautiful. Sexy. Kind. I'm meeting her again in a few days time. So we'll see what that's like. Today it's off to a big singles meet down near the beach... about 25 women going... so my dating might be about to get even more hectic haha. Then it's on to an evening date with a rather nice looking woman with whom the chat has taken a flirtatious lilt. It ended with me assuring her that I would be a total gentleman and her replying "please don't!" So who knows where that one's going to go.
Hopefully, as some of you have said, out of this mayhem a woman will emerge who is really perfect for me
Good luck to you, but you really can't deny you're bragging
Thanks for the previous post. It's good to know others have had similar experiences. I really don't *think* I'm getting a buzz out of telling everyone. But you're right... the mind is deceptive so maybe I am. To me, it's more just the buzz of the thing itself. As you said, it's quite nice having all this attention, especially after a ltr which slowly lost that buzz. I think the wonderful flirtation and raised pulses of it all is pretty much what I came onto Fab for. So it's nice, after all this time and quiet on here (I've been on here before), to finally have found some of that.
I'm also sharing it because I think it may be interesting for women to read. There's a lot of misunderstanding between the sexes on dating. Some women seem to think that the minute they enter the room you should fall to your knees and ask them to marry you. The misnomer, I guess, is that they're so significantly more attractive than all the other women that you can't resist them. In truth there are lots of beautiful women out there and it can be really confusing for a guy, trying to make each one feel as special as she demands he make her feel, whilst trying to dig deeper than skin deep to see if she's really the person underneath that you really want to commit to. It's a hectic juggling act that gets labelled as womanising or being a player... when in fact I'm only trying to do something quite reasonable.... make a good choice "
It was certainly a revelation to me. At no other time in my life had I been in such demand.
I think the dynamics of middle aged dating work in the opposite way to the dynamics of swinging. I was a middle aged bloke who was genuinely single, had a good job, his own house, not a borderline sex offender, able to maintain a conversation with a woman and attracted to middle aged women.
If you're a bloke in that situation, you have tons of offers from women, just like any genuine single woman from here has tons of offers from men. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"10 woman??? I can’t wven get 1 date in the real world 
I'd date you But therein lies the problem perhaps haha.
Sounds like you would date everyone "
You, my princess, aren't everyone (said in the thick accent of an eastend market trader) You see how smoooooth I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if they went on dates with anyone else. Especially in the beginning. I wouldn't ask. I would find it weird if it came up in conversation also. Is that not what dating it....to see if you like the person x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It was certainly a revelation to me. At no other time in my life had I been in such demand.
I think the dynamics of middle aged dating work in the opposite way to the dynamics of swinging. I was a middle aged bloke who was genuinely single, had a good job, his own house, not a borderline sex offender, able to maintain a conversation with a woman and attracted to middle aged women.
If you're a bloke in that situation, you have tons of offers from women, just like any genuine single woman from here has tons of offers from men. "
I tick a few of these boxes. Not in a great job situation right now and don't own a house despite my best efforts. Where I think I may be picking up prizes is that I'm more than happy to meet women who have kids |
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"It was certainly a revelation to me. At no other time in my life had I been in such demand.
I think the dynamics of middle aged dating work in the opposite way to the dynamics of swinging. I was a middle aged bloke who was genuinely single, had a good job, his own house, not a borderline sex offender, able to maintain a conversation with a woman and attracted to middle aged women.
If you're a bloke in that situation, you have tons of offers from women, just like any genuine single woman from here has tons of offers from men.
I tick a few of these boxes. Not in a great job situation right now and don't own a house despite my best efforts. Where I think I may be picking up prizes is that I'm more than happy to meet women who have kids "
Oh yes, that was another of my selling points, which tends to go with the being attracted to same age women as most women in their forties have kids. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I suspect the sad fact is that there are actually a dearth of nice attractive women looking to meet nice attractive men and not sleazy sex mad lunatics... whilst, on the other side, there are a dearth of sleazy sex mad men looking to meet sleazy sex mad women and not nice attractive women Venturing onto the other side is like falling through the looking glass.
Normal, I am not! But I've had a couple of dates emphasise how nice it is to meet a normal man for a change |
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